


Aberration

by RedXEagl3



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Being Alex is Suffering, Best Friends, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Isekai, Pizza time, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Robin is a Nerd, Self-Insert, Suffering, Suicide Attempt, Unrequited Love, War, War is hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2020-02-16 05:44:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 37
Words: 263,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18685309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedXEagl3/pseuds/RedXEagl3
Summary: Being transported across dimensions in the blink of an eye is neither a pleasant nor exciting experience. It also doesn't help when you're just a regular squishy human trying to play hero in a world full of legends. But maybe he didn't need to be a hero. Maybe he just needed to be himself.





	1. First Light

Ask yourself this question, and don't lie to me.

How would you react if you were transported to another world? Not only that, but a world you knew intimately. One you had spent countless hours thinking and learning about.

If your answer is anything positive, I don't think you quite understand what it would actually be like.

Chances are, the world is a death trap. Even if you have knowledge of the world, you are woefully unprepared for it.

And chances are, it was better off without you in it anyway.

* * *

_If my head hits the glass one more time, I think I'm gonna get a concussion._

Just as I thought that, the bus I was on jostled again and my head tapped against the glass of the window for the umpteenth time that day alone. Groaning slightly, I moved my head away from the window, and just silently watched as the countryside outside went past the bus in a blur.

All in all, a normal day in my life.

Wasn't gonna be that way for long.

I saw the gas station fly past us, and I pulled the cord that ran the length of the bus, causing a light at the front of the bus to ring and light up. The bus driver, an elderly guy I had seen about a hundred-thousand times, saw said light, grunted, and moved towards the bus stop. After a few seconds, the bus stopped just in front of the traffic lights, right next to the sign of the bus stop.

I hoisted my backpack on and walked towards the front of the bus. "Thanks." I said, just like always.

"No problem," He replied, "See ya later."

Nodding, I walked down the steps and onto the asphalt-

-Only to hear the sound of grass underneath my step.

I blinked.

…

…

…

… _Huh?_

There was truly no other way to describe it.

I wasn't staring at the side of the road. I was staring at what seemed to be a forest with nothing but trees for what seemed like miles.

_…Sleep deprivation is one hell of a drug. Guess college'll do that to you._

"Uh… okay?" I said flatly, my face falling into a frown. "You seeing this too, man-?" I turned around, but the bus was gone. Not even a trace of it was left

_This is the type of shit you only see on the X-Files, Jesus Christ!_

From where I stood, I could see what looked like some sort of small settlement, surrounded by fields. Trying my best to ignore the pounding of my heart in my ears and swallowing down my anxiety at the situation I found myself in, I began to walk.

My backpack felt heavier than usual.

* * *

_Dear God if I've stepped back in time…_

That was the only explanation I could come to. Either that, or I had had an aneurysm on my way off the bus and was in the final stages of brain death.

Houses, most of them made out of a combination of slightly irregular stone and wood, were practically bustling with people going to-and-fro. What I could assume were shops lined the cobble streets, with the merchants of said shops advertising their wares, which included everything from food to  _very real-looking swords and axes._ So much for 'small settlement'; the place looked more like the beginnings of a wealthy medieval town.

_Dear God if I've actually just died..._

Well, my phone had about 40% battery life left. Might as well have been a paperweight for all the good it would have done me.

And that wasn't even getting into all the shit I had in my backpack.

"Oi, young'un," I jumped, startled by the gruff, gravelly voice. "Ya lost?"

I turned to my right and saw an old man on an even older-looking chair on the porch of a poorly-maintained house. A scar ran from his forehead to his lip, going over one milky eye and another blue one. His face was the very definition of grizzled, and even at his age it looked like he'd be able to put up one hell of a fight.

"More than you know…" I muttered darkly.

"Whas 'that?" He asked in an unidentifiable accent, but he still quite clearly spoke English.

Or, at least, what I thought was English.

"I said yeah, I'm lost. You have any idea where I am?" I asked curtly.

"Aye, thought so, ya look like you ain't from 'round here. This here be Southtown, largest town in southern Ylisse-" He stopped once he saw my expression. "Ya okay there, son? Ya look like ya done seen a spirit."

"You could say that-!" I managed to squeak out. I looked around again, regarding the medieval architecture, the cobblestone used for most of the roads…

It was all painting a picture of where I was, but when I heard that name, I realized I may not have traveled back in time but traveled to  _another world entirely_.

One that, last I recalled, I was still trying to grind my units so I could take on the Future Past DLC.

_Jesus-everloving-fucking-CHRIST!_

"By Naga, forget seein' spirits! Ya turned into one yesself!" The old man exclaimed. "Ya gonna be okay, son?"

I wiped some of the sweat off my brow, trying to feign being exhausted. Really, all I wanted to do was to run into the darkest alley in town to try and gather my thoughts. I was in no position to do so at that moment, especially with so many people around.

People who, now that I was looking at them and not the building, gave me quizzical looks as they walked by.

"I-I'm fine!" I stuttered, perhaps just a little too loudly. "Just… uh… Just a little tired. It's… It's been a long day."

"Damn, don't I know it. Lissen, son, there be an inn just a little on yonder. See it?" He raised his arm and pointed gnarled finger down the street. "Just down that road a little ways, cheap, but decent room and board. Me 'n the boys used to get drinks there after a good hunt, ya know. Best beer in town they say! Pah!" He spat in disgust. "Taste like old, rancid deer piss, it does! Stay away from it, if I was ya!"

"Uh, thanks." I responded quietly, already inching away from the old man, "Bye."

"Take care yesself, son!" The old man said.

* * *

_Shit, fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck-_

Those words resounded through my mind every time I took a step. The sun felt just a bit too hot, my clothes just a bit too heavy, it felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs.

I didn't make it to the inn the old man mentioned. I walked into a quiet alleyway between two houses, and sat the fuck down, and took deep breaths.

_How in the fuck where in the fuck and WHY in the fuck!?_

I was either in Fire Emblem Awakening, or I really had suffered a fatal brain aneurysm.

I took one last deep breath to calm myself down, but my heart was still thumping in my chest like a jackhammer. I went over it in my mind.  _I was in Fire Emblem Awakening_. Most likely with nothing but the clothes on my back, a half-dead cellphone, my wallet, and a backpack that had nothing in it besides a psychology textbook and a binder filled with papers which were no doubt completely useless.

Unless I found a way home, of course, but that didn't seem likely.

I narrowing my eyes at the small sliver of sky available to me from the alleyway before looking down once more, my hands curling into fists.

My papers weren't the only ones completely useless in this scenario.

I decided to shuffle that thought away; self-deprecation would get me nowhere.

Even if I was in Awakening, there was no guarantee I was near the time of the attack in the prologue. For all I knew, I could have been in the far future or the distant past. Far from the time period of Chrom and the Shepherds. Far from anything really familiar.

So really, this could have gone down in one of two ways.

One, I really was in the far past or future of Awakening, in which case I was fucked. I had no skills that could conceivably help me in a medieval-stasis world like the Awakening one. Or two, I was in Southtown just before the attack, in which case Chrom, Lissa, Robin, and Frederick were nearby, and would see the smoke from the soon-to-be burning town. In that case, I had a better chance, but I was still most likely fucked.

That didn't even open the can of worms that was the worst-case scenarios for option two. I could be in the doomed future and would have no way to stop it.

Hell, what if there was no Robin? Or at least a character that was the 'Robin' of this universe?

At that point I decided to operate under the assumption that option two was the more likely of the two: that there was indeed a Robin-esque character in this universe, and that I was not in a timeline which in a few years' time would be completely and utterly annihilated.

In my mind, I had the best chances of survivng with the Shepherds,. They had the resources and the people. They were also destined to save the world. I had to admit the idea was romantic- saving the world, that is. Even if I was never going to be the main character, I would be happy to have done something like that. Something interesting, a purpose other than the one I had back home. And, with their resources, I might find a way back home.

It helped that I knew most of them. Not personally, but from the Support conversations in the game. I knew that Chrom was physically incapable of abandoning a person in need. So if I told him my story, after helping him defend the town…

There was so much that could go wrong with that plan. So many paths that could have resulted in my untimely death. Honestly, I would have been better off just trying to find work, gathering gold, and travelling to the Outrealm gate to see if I could get home.

My fatigued mind was unable to come up with a better plan.

If I was to join the Shepherds, I would have to prove myself somehow. Show them I at least had potential. I wasn't a thin or fat. I had a good deal of muscle thanks to working out with my dad the past few months before I found myself in Southtown. It wasn't anything amazing, certainly, but it was something, at least.

Certainly better than nothing, right?

I would've had to kill people, though.

I'd have to kill a lot of people, most likely.

I wondered if I'd be prepared to handle that. To take another person's life. In essence, I would have to become a soldier.

I stared at the rock to my left. I didn't trust myself to hold an actual weapon without hurting myself more than my opponent, nor could I just buy one either, considering the only money I had on hand was dollars. Hell, they'd probably be confused that the money was made out of paper than anything else. It was better to have something more simple, something more primitive. I placed my backpack down, and noted the area we were in. It would only slow me down.

And really, what was more primitive than beating someone to death with a rock?

I grabbed the side of the rock and pulled it out of the ground. It was actually slightly bigger than my hand, but it would do.

I wouldn't be using it for very long, anyway.

* * *

It only occurred to me later, again, how stupid and scatterbrained the idea I cooked up in that alleyway was, but it wasn't really hammered home until the roofs of several houses burst into flames, and the screaming started. At that point, whatever courage I'd built up was promptly stomped out.

At least it answered the question of what time period I was in. I was  _definitely_ around the time Chrom and Co. saved Southtown.

Too bad I wasn't likely to survive until they arrived.

I hid behind the corner of a building, rock clutched so tightly it almost made my hand bleed, waiting as I heard footsteps from nearby.

"Damn, Garrick, burnin' the entire town to the ground? I 'ate them as much as you but least I'd do is  _loot_ the damn place! Someone oughta take you off yer pedestal…" The apparent Plegian bandit grumbled, his heavy footsteps almost in tune with my heart.

_I'm gonna die of a heart attack at this rate, fucking hell!_

I felt the sweat roll down my face, as the air around me felt almost unnaturally still and quiet.

_He's a bad guy. He's a bad guy. It's either you or him. It's either you or him._

Once I heard the bandit take one last fateful step just out of my sight, I charged straight out of the corner, shouting as loudly as I could, rock held high in the air.

" _Gods' damn, mother of-!_ " The bandit shouted out in turn, the lance in his hands aimed to block a sword or axe blow.

Fucker wasn't expecting a rock to nail him on the noggin, I can tell you that much.

The rock I held came down on his head, just above the temple. A large gash was visible, along with the sickening sound of hard, sharp rock against bone.

The bandit himself was nothing overtly special. No helmet, with furs and leather gauntlets and leggings, along with a crude-looking lance. Other than that, he was average-looking, and slightly shorter than me.

I didn't wait for him to recover from the blow to the head. I reeled back my arm and hit him again.

And again.

And again.

And  _again._

The lance he held clattered to the ground loudly as he fell to the dirt of the road, blood going down the side of his face and one eye forced shut from the trauma. I was near hyperventilating as I saw him go down, eyes wide and looking from left to right. Had to make sure no one else saw my first murder, after all. I dropped the bloodied rock in my hand.

_Oh dear lord._

Between the pounding in my ears and the blurring of my vision, I was surprised I was able to see his chest moving up and down shallowly.

He wasn't dead.

_Not yet._

One part of me wanted to run away at this point. My hands were, figuratively, clean, if not literally. Of course, the nasty head wound I gave him would probably have killed him eventually, considering how much it was bleeding. However, I didn't think about that. All I thought about, was getting out of there. It was a mistake to think that I could do it, wasn't it? That the 'plan' I'd come up with had any merit whatsoever. I could've run away. I could've done anything.

And yet, I picked up the lance the bandit had aimed it at his chest, just where his heart was.

This was it. The pivotal moment. What I did would affect me forever.

I drove the lance into his chest.

He stopped breathing a moment later.

I pulled the lance out of him with a wet ' _plunk_ ', my hands visibly shaking and pale.

Well, it was easier than I thought, but nowhere near as easy as I would have preferred. He was a bad guy. Hell, he was talking about  _looting and burning_ a town of innocent people for no other reason than… what? Because Gangrel told them to? I wouldn't've put it past them if they were going to raid Southtown even without that incentive. They seemed like the kind of person to do it.

Still, I had taken a human life. And that was irreversible.

"Oh  _God_ …!" I murmured, backing against the wall

Scratch that, it was not easy in the slightest.

My eyes were glued to the body on the floor as I tried to suppress the rampant guilt and emotion that clouded my thoughts. I clutched the lance in my hands so tightly I was surprised it didn't snap in half. I saw the blood on my hands. His blood.

"Oh hey! Chrom, this one's already- Oh. Oh no." A light, feminine voice said.

Despite my wanting to, my eyes didn't move from the body on the floor. A moment later, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I finally forced my eyes to look up.

"Hey there, you okay?" Lissa asked soothingly.

And it was Lissa, I could tell. Blonde hair in twin-tails, big blue eyes, a staff held in one hand with another on my shoulder, along with the usual get-up she wore in her portrait. She was also drop-dead  _gorgeous_ for someone who was probably only around 15 or 16, but I didn't really focus on that on account of murdering my fellow man for the first, and definitely not last time.

"I killed him," I said simply. "I killed him."

She took one look at the body, winced, and looked back at me pleadingly. "It's okay! Don't worry about that right now! Are you hurt? I can use my staff to heal you!"

I looked down at myself wordlessly. The blood on me wasn't mine. Still, as Lissa suggested, I elected not to worry about that at that moment. "No… No, I'm fine. Actually, who are you, miss?"

 _Have to keep up appearances_.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm Lissa! Just gotta… wait, where's Chrom? CHROOOM! Get over here!" She shouted suddenly, causing me to jump slightly.

"Gods, Lissa! What have I told you about running off like that!? Frederick! Robin! This way!" Matt Mercer said, showing up with two familiar faces.

Well, I said 'familiar faces' but seeing three people in the flesh when all you've seen of them beforehand was highly stylized drawings, and, well, I barely recognized them.

Chrom himself was definitely the easiest to recognize. Ain't no way in hell someone back home could pull off that natural blue hair of his. With Falchion in hand, and that badass cape, there was no mistaking him for anyone else. Frederick was harder to recognize, considering his features were rather plain when compared to Chrom, with his dark brown hair and eyes. Only way I was able to identify him was from the armor he wore, as well as the horse he rode in on. Robin (fucker actually existed thank CHRIST), rode in as a passenger on Frederick's horse, looking a little lost in all honesty. Only way I was able to recognize him was from his stark white hair and dark coat.

And yeah, he was a guy. No F!Robin for this universe, it seemed.

"S-Sorry! I just heard a lotta shouting from this direction and thought someone was hurt. I found him, though! His name is… Wait, I forgot to ask for your name!" Lissa said, in exactly one breath.

"I-It's Alexander." I replied breathlessly, still a little bit stunned to have four previously fictional people standing nearby, as well as, you know, having killed someone. "Alex, for short."

_Once I stop suppressing that shit is gonna hit me like a fuckin' dump truck._

"Alex, then? A pleasure to meet you. My name is Chrom, and these two are Frederick and Robin." Frederick the Wary Jagen regarded me with open suspicion, while Robin settled for a small wave. Chrom looked down at my clothes, slightly perplexed. "You're a foreigner, aren't you?"

I looked down at my clothes, and then regarded his own. "…What could have possibly given that away?"

He chuckled slightly. "Well, the fish out of water look makes you stick out. A lot like our friend Robin back there."

"Milord, I suggest we make haste if we are to save this village. The bandits are still running amok." Frederick interjected.

Chrom's face became stern once more, while Lissa held her staff close. It seemed like almost everyone had forgotten that the town was literally  _on fire_.

"You're right, Frederick. We have to keep moving. Let's go!" The four of them began to move away.

Without me.

"Wait!" I shouted suddenly, without a clear plan in mind, which I soon realized when they stopped and turned back around expectantly. "L-Let me come with you!"

Chrom raised a brow at that. "Are you sure? This is a battle we're going into, and… I won't try to make it sound better; you could die."

I looked at the body on the floor for a moment, sighed, then looked back to Chrom. "Better than doing nothing at all. Rather do  _something_ about this shit than just cower behind a shed or some crap like that."

"You, a foreigner, would willingly put your life on the line for a people not your own?" Frederick asked, his voice deeper than I remember.

"Aren't I doing the same thing, technically?" Robin queried, talking for the first time. Frederick looked back and gave Robin the stink-eye. "N-Not helping my case, am I? Sorry."

"Like I said, better than doing nothing, right? I'd rather die helping people than just stay behind twiddling my thumbs." I reiterated. "Besides, you have a healer, don't you? That's the most important thing here."

Lissa puffed her chest out in pride. "At least  _someone_ gets it!"

Chrom looked me over one last time, smiling. "Anyone who'd risk their life for others is welcome company. Now, let's go!"

At his lord's word, Frederick said nothing, but his suspicious gaze never wavered, on either me or Robin. It was actually more comforting than annoying, in my opinion. Meant things were more or less how I remembered them.

The five of us left that alleyway, and my first murder, behind.

* * *

"Gwahaha! Keep at it, lads! Show these Ylissean runts how to  _really_ fight!" The leader, Garrick, if I remember his name right, guffawed. I was sure anyone could hear his voice from miles away.

"We have to stop them, before anyone else gets hurt…!" Lissa whispered sharply from our hiding place, a stall just in front of a large river.

"Don't worry, Lissa, once we're done with them, they won't hurt another soul again." Chrom murmured darkly.

"Fuckin' look at them all. There's several in the square alone." I observed.

The area was a lot like the first level, with some added 'realism' thrown in. A town square, it seemed, with a bridge that lead to the big bad of the prologue chapter. I was sure, considering our numbers and the general quality of the people besides me, that they could simply plow through the bandits. Unfortunately, this was real life, not casual mode, so the chances of someone dying were infinitely higher.

Not to mention there were no turns in real life.

"Milord, it may be prudent to plan an assault. The longer we dawdle here, the more time these brigands have to destroy and slaughter." Frederick said.

Chrom seemingly examined the battlefield. "I see no way out of this other than a full-on charge. If we can surprise them, then we will have an immediate advantage."

"Uh, wouldn't that mean we'd have to cut through all those guys down there just to get to Mr. leader guy over there?" I pointed in the direction of the big bad, shouting and barking orders at his bandit compatriots. "I mean, I'm not sure about you guys, but taking on that many people just doesn't seem practical."

"Well, we have to do  _something_ , don't we!? We can't just let them keep killing people!" Lissa all but shouted.

"I-I have a plan." Robin said, causing everyone to go silent.

"You do?" Chrom asked? "Then share it with us, Robin. We need all the help we can get right now."

"Yes… Hold up a moment…" Robin went through his coat for a moment, a pulled a map from one of the inner pockets. He flattened it out on the ground so that everyone could see. "Interesting… It would appear I was on my way to Southtown when you found me in that field, Chrom."

"You have a map of the very town that is currently being invaded. Milord, I must implore you to reconsider what I told you when we found this man." Frederick warned, eyeing Robin warily with a hand gripping his lance firmly. Robin winced under Frederick's glare.

"He's helping us save lives, Frederick. If he wanted to harm us or the town, he's had plenty of chances to do so." Chrom said, with Frederick bowing his head in acquiescence. "Now, Robin, what is your plan?"

It was around this time that I realized I was essentially a side character, and I was mostly fine with it. I listened closely as Robin explained his plan.

"Here," He pointed one gloved hand at a bridge on the map, "This bridge is somewhere downstream of here. From the area in which the fire started, I assume that there is, at most, a small number of bandits in this area. While a group of us fight here to keep their attention on us, someone else will travel down this road, cross the bridge, flank their leader and take him out. The rest of the bandits will scatter once they realize their leader is gone."

"Cut the head off the snake…" I mumbled.

"Essentially." Robin agreed. "Since Frederick has a horse, he can make that journey in half the time any one of us could, so I suggest he be the one to do it."

"It would minimize casualties if we were to bring an end to this quickly." Chrom said. "Frederick, I'm sure you're willing to put aside your suspicions to do this?"

"If milord wishes, then I shall do so without complaint." Frederick replied.

"Good. You heard Robin. The rest of us will hold here and gather as much attention as possible. Lissa? Stay close to one of us." Chrom ordered.

"Will do, Chrom!" Lissa said.

"Now then, let's show these dastards what happens when you raid villages under the watch of the Shepherds!" Chrom shouted finally, Falchion raised high. "Charge!"

The situation finally caught up to me once we blew our hiding place.

_Oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck-_

Robin pulled out a tome, a quizzical expression on his face for a brief moment before a ball of lightning shot out of his hand, hitting an unassuming bandit straight in the chest. The smell of cooked meat hung in the air as the bandit fell to the ground limply. Frederick dashed down a road, shining lance held to his side as he disappeared from sight. Chrom surged forward, catching a bandit off guard before Falchion lodged itself deep into the side of his chest, and fell to the ground in a bloody heap.

It was brutal.

It was absolute carnage.

Brutal carnage I was woefully unprepared for.

And yet still, despite the panic that gripped me, the rapid beating of my heart that was getting rather annoying at that point, and the sweat and wide eyes that I could feel, I got up, the lance from my first murder in my hands pointed forward, shouted as loudly as my lungs and vocal cords would allow, and  _charged_.

It helped that Robin and Chrom going before me seemed to scatter the bandits quite a bit, so I had no problem finding one next to a tossed-over stall. Before he could see me coming, the tip of the lance went right into his chest, right next to what I assumed was his sternum.

None of these guys were wearing armor, besides the furs they wore around their shoulders and the skulls they wore as improvised armor of some sort. Most of them, including their chests, were bared to the world.

Not that I could say I was much better. All  _I_ had for protection was a t-shirt, after all.

The bandit's eyes widened in surprise as the lance went through his chest, a small dribble of blood coming from his lips afterwards. He fell backwards onto the broken stall, which was the only thing keeping him up. He gritted his teeth and raised his axe high. "Y-Ylissean scum…!" He growled out.

He was still alive, and the axe was coming down straight onto my shoulder. Luckily for me, my stab had done a number on him, as it was quite slow. I was able to move out of the way successfully, and my lance dislodged itself from the wound as he fell to the ground. His shallow breathing felt like it was the only thing I could hear.

I stabbed him again, through the back, silencing him for good.

 _That's two now. Quite the murderer I am_.

I wasn't able to ponder my newfound talent for murder before pain exploded in my side. Shouting in agony, I looked down to see an axe sticking out of my side, before painfully wrenching itself free. I fell to the ground right next to the man I murdered, looking up at my soon-to-be killer.

"Yer gonna pay for that, you Ylissean dog!" The bandit spat, his face red with rage.

I tried to get away, but a quick boot to my wound stopped me from moving. I  _screamed_ in pain then. I looked back up through the tears that were starting to form in my eyes to see his axe held high, ready to split my head in two.

_Well, I gave it a shot, didn't I?_

I waited for the axe to fall, but it never did. Instead, a blast of bright lightning struck the bandit in the chest. The place the lightning hit turned black as smoke coming out of his nose. He fell on top of me, like a sack of potatoes.

I weakly tried to pull him off of me, to no avail. Luckily, a pair of gloved hands helped pull the body off of me.

"Gods! Are you okay, Alex?" He asked.

_First proper conversation with the character that is supposed to be your stand-in. This is gonna be surreal._

"Fuckin'  _peachy_!" I groaned. "Is… Is Lissa anywhere around here…?"

"Yes, she should be… Lissa! Over here!" Robin shouts, waving his arm to his right. "He's wounded, badly!"

A few light footsteps later and Lissa was right next to me, her healing staff held near the wound I couldn't quite see.

"Hold still, okay? This might feel… uh,  _uncomfortable_." She warned, before the staff started glowing.

"Wait, whaddaya mean uncomfort-  _Gkh!_ " I stopped as the feeling hit me.

Imagine you cut yourself a thousand times, only you felt the full brunt of the pain first before the cut sewed itself shut. That would be the closest thing I could compare.

I clenched my teeth together so hard it almost felt like they would shoot straight outta my mouth. A few moments later, and she was done. I looked down, and while the blood was still there, my pale flesh was unscarred.

I breathed a sigh of relief at that, and tried to stand up, but my legs refused to budge.

"Hold a moment, I've got you." Robin said, slinging my arm over his shoulder and essentially acting as support.

"You really shouldn't be standing up like that!" Lissa warned.

"I'll be  _fiiiine_. 'Tis but a flesh wound!" I reassured, inwardly laughing at my own reference, all the while still high from my near-death experience.

"I think we'll all have a great deal many flesh wounds if Frederick doesn't do his part…" Robin said, looking all around us.

I did as well, and I could see we were surrounded. Chrom was in front of us, a blood-stained Falchion pointed at least a dozen bandits all around us.

"Gyahaha! Lookee what we got ourselves here, boys!" The boss said, from his safe place on the other side of the bridge. "We got ourselves a couple heroes we do! Why don't we show 'em what happens to  _heroes_ , why don't we-!"

Garrick stopped the instant a lance shot straight through his back and out through his chest, splattering the ground beneath him in blood. His limp body fell to the ground in a heap. Frederick was there, a stone cold expression directed at the remaining bandits.

"B-Boss…?"

"The boss is dead!"

"They killed 'im!"

Chrom took this moment to charge again, cutting another bandit down before the others began to run, despite the numbers advantage they still had. They ran down alleyways and through streets, until only the bodies of our enemies kept us company.

The battle was over in just a few minutes.

* * *

I grunted as my knees buckled beneath me. I fell on a rather sturdy crate, with my back propped up against the wall of a building. The bucket I'd held in my hands fell to the ground, the last bits of water within spilling out onto the dirt.

It had taken hours to put the fires out. That's just what happens when you have no fire department and a single river.

Chrom, Lissa, and Frederick spoke with who I assumed was the town leader, or chief, or whatever the hell you wanna call him. I could imagine it then, what they were saying to each other.

Chances are, if they were talking about what I think they were talking about, I'd have to do a lot more walking before I got proper rest. I heard footsteps to my right and looked up to see Robin approach me.

"Mind if I sit here?" He asked.

I stared at him for a few moments, a bit confused, before shrugging and scooting over a bit. Robin sat down. It was a few seconds later, time he took to think of a conversation topic, I was sure, before he spoke.

"How's your wound fairing?" He gestured to my side, now covered by a green tunic gifted to me by one of the villagers, which caused me to wince and put a hand over the it. "A-Ah, if you didn't want me asking-"

"Nah, it's fine, man." I replied quickly. "Just… a little tender, I guess? First time I've ever really been injured quite  _that_ badly. What about you, though? Heard from our mutual friends that you have amnesia or some shit like that?"

"Mhm, cannot remember a thing from before Chrom found me in a field just a little south of here." Robin agreed, red eyes having a lost look to them.

"Shit, that's rough, bud." I said awkwardly, trying to find a way for the conversation to continue. "Least you found someone like him, huh?" I pointed towards the blue-haired prince, who laughed as Lissa sputtered at something said between the three of them.

"Indeed, he seems to be a good man. I'm sure very few people would be willing to lend a hand to a random stranger they found in a field." Robin responded.

"Yeah, well, you were able to do something, at least. Me? Take out one guy and just get destroyed the one time someone fought back. Fucking hell…!" I spat, feeling the old self-loathing resurfacing again. "Actually kinda pathetic when you think about it. Some bumblefuck foreigner with no clue where he is tries to fight alongside others and gets absolutely  _annihilated_ in the process. The hell am I even doing here…"

_Just go ahead and blurt out your entire life story while you're at it, bucko._

Robin looked at me strangely for a moment. "Yes… You and I are really similar, in that way." He chuckled.

"…Huh?" I looked at him oddly, the same way one might look at an alien or bigfoot.

"Well, we're both clueless, apparently. I mean, did you see me try to use that Thunder tome? I was almost certain I would direct the orb at myself rather than my enemy. Almost feels like luck that I got the hang of it as quickly as I did!" Robin said quickly. "In all honesty, I felt like I was a bumbling fool for a moment."

"But you made fucking  _lightning_  flow from your fingers and kill two people!" I blurted out. "You're awesome!"

"And did you not use a lance to kill a man before he even knew what was happening? Only taken down because of a small lapse in judgment?" Robin asked rhetorically. "You may not have, as you said it, 'made fucking lightning flow from your fingers' but you certainly did something, did you not? And that is more than some can say."

"But… That's not… I went down like a moron!" I argued.

"Then I suppose that makes me a lucky moron, because I narrowly avoided a blade to my own flank simply because I had moved in another direction without noticing him. In the end, I suppose we're both clueless fools." Robin said.

"…Hrm." I hummed, looking off to the side like an edgeboi. There really was nothing I could say to that. My expression became neutral once I realized something.

_Did… Did Robin and I just have a fuckmothering Support Conversation!?_

"Ah, there you two are." Matt Mercer's smooth voice said.

I could not, and never did, get that thought out of my head. I looked forwards to see Chrom, Lissa, and Frederick approaching us.

"Ah, it's Chrom and the gang. Want your turn on the Crate of Truth?" I asked suavely.

"Uh… What?" Chrom replied, perplexed.

"I'm glad you asked!" I said, getting up and gesturing toward the crate. "This crate has been magically infused with the power to connect two people who sit on it! Ya see, I was planning on selling it because I'm a broke-ass motherfucker, but if you're willing to use it…?"

Chrom chuckled. "Thanks, Alex, but I think I'll pass."

"Damn." I clicked my tongue, sitting back down. "Worth a shot."

"Was there something you wanted to talk to us about, Chrom?" Robin queried, attempting to get us back on track.

"Yes. I would like to thank you both for helping us save Southtown. Neither of you had any reason to do so, yet you did anyway, and that takes a certain kind of character that I look for in people." Chrom said.

_Ah shit, here it comes. Can't really remember how this went down in the game; did it go like this? Or did he not join until they reached Ylisstol? Honestly can't remember…_

"I'm here to ask if both of you would like to join the Shepherds. You," He looked at Robin. "appear to be a skilled tactician, as shown by the strategy that won us the day, and you" He looked to me. "have a lot of potential, I'm sure of it. You're free to decline, of course." Chrom finished.

He was being extremely formal, and I could not tell if that was because of his unfamiliarity with us at that point in time or if it was because of something else. Frederick was surprisingly silent, but his gaze was ever unwavering. He was honestly creeping me out, but if I knew anything from the game, he was slow to trust. I doubted he'd make an exception for me. Lissa, on the other hand, was grinning like an absolute madwoman.

Robin got up. "I don't have a lot of places to go, now do I? I accept your offer, Chrom." Robin held out his hand, and Chrom shook it.

Then their attention was on me.

"What about you, Alex? Like I said, you don't have to." Chrom repeated.

I was thinking I was gonna be the one to ask him, not the other way around. Funny how life does that to you.

Despite the fact that almost everything I'd done in Southtown up to that point was to make Chrom like me, I hesitated. Everything I said to him when we first met, despite how awkward I put it, was to make an impression, and clearly it had worked. I was on the precipice of, in a way, doing something great.

Or something irreversibly horrible. Besides that, there wasn't eve a guarantee that I would be able to do anything great, or to fulfill that long-held childhood dream of romantic ideals.

Old fears were dredged up in a moment. There was a high probability of death. Death and pain. A shit ton of pain if what I felt when that axe got stuck into my side was anything to go by. And that was only a taste of what could happen.

It was a medieval-like world, after all. A medieval world with  _magic_. It was likely that death wasn't the worst thing that could happen to me.

I'd also have to kill other people, just like I did earlier that day. This wasn't a game, I kept telling myself. These were real, breathing people. Even if they were objectively mostly scumbags, they were still people.

_The shit I'm probably gonna do is gonna haunt me for the rest of my natural life._

Yet, despite that, I still  _wanted_ to join. Maybe it was the romantic ideals that I'd almost completely forgotten about before arriving in Ylisse. Maybe it was the chance at a more interesting life that I'd also always wanted. Maybe it was because I felt like a needed stability in a world that I knew yet had no real connections in. Maybe it was out of the hope that the Shepherds could help me get home or, if I  _really_ started to like it there, give me a chance to say goodbye.

In the end, I made my choice.

"Well," I said, standing up as well, and holding out my hand. "Not like I have much else better to do, right? Might as well do something with my life instead of just coasting along like I have been. Count me in, Chrom."

Chrom shook my hand with a grin on his face. Damn was he  _strong_ , it felt like his grip would crush my hand. "Great! Welcome aboard, both of you!"

"Hehe, this is great! I'm not the newest member anymore!" Lissa gave us a mischievous smirk. "Don't worry, I'll be sure to show you the ropes once we get back!"

I couldn't help but laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Lord, please forgive me for what I have done. Amen.
> 
> So yeah, for those of you who follow me, this is that secret project I was talking about in that cancel notice a while back. Fire Emblem. Huh.
> 
> Of course, this gives me another chance to torture the fuck outta my little expy again. Don't think for an instant that things will be all nice and dandy since he's here. Like the beginning implied, things can be a whole lot worse.
> 
> Not much other than to curb your enthusiasm, as I am rather new to writing Fire Emblem, and am probably gonna fuck up in a million different ways. By all means, if I fuck up a character, as I feel like I have with Chrom a bit in this chapter, point it out. I fucking need wake-up calls nowadays.
> 
> Besides that, I guess that's it. Don't know when I'll update this, but considering Summer is coming up I'll have a lot more time to waste.
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed!


	2. The Walking Dead

Predictably, we left Southtown behind not long after Robin and I officially joined the Shepherds. I retrieved my backpack from the alleyway I left it in before leaving. It wasn't long after that the sun began to set, and we set up camp in an unassuming part of the woods, just a small walk from the road we were travelling. Frederick volunteered to gather firewood and hunt for some food, and I elected to join him. The others set up the camp while we trekked through the wilderness.

"You're… enjoying this, aren't you?" I asked him, once we had a sizeable portion of firewood in our arms.

"I am." Frederick replied tersely.

He had about a metric ton of sticks and logs in his arms, and he carried it with a small smile on his face. My clumsy attempts at small talk as we gathered the firewood were met with curt answers. Not ready to give up on at least  _trying_ to know Frederick, I went with one of the few things I remembered about him from the Support conversations. That being, his love for making fires.

"Is there a reason you're enjoying this? I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoy slogging through the woods with sticks and logs in my arms as much as the next guy, but you seem to be legitimately enjoying this." I continued.

"I enjoy the act of making a campfire. Is this so hard to believe?" Frederick said, looking back at me.

"No, not really. I'm just asking  _what_  about it you enjoy. Is it the process? The feeling you get from doing it? Satisfaction? I'm all ears." I pushed.

"It is satisfying. The process of building something from nothing has always been one that has fascinated me. Doubly so when you do it with your own two hands. A word I would personally use to describe it would be-"

"Cathartic?" I interrupted.

"Yes."

_What an awkward Support conversation this has been. Then again, we don't really have a lot in common._

"Alex." He said suddenly, startling me and almost making me drop the firewood in my arms.

"Yeah?"

"You are a foreigner." He stated.

"Yep."

"From what country do you come from?" He asked succinctly.

I stopped dead in my tracks, and I could feel Frederick's eyes boring into me.

"I… I'll tell you when we get back to camp, okay?" I said weakly.

_No it's fine man just make yourself sound suspicious as all hell when you say that. It's not like you're talking to somebody with the title 'the Wary' or anything, right?_

After a few moments of silence, he spoke. "Very well."

Frederick's question brought up something that I knew I would have to talk about eventually. It also reminded me that I was wholly unprepared to answer any questions regarding where I came from.

Somehow, I didn't think 'I'm from the Outrealms, brah' would cut it. Besides, it would be more difficult to convince everyone that I was from an entirely different world rather than just from another continent.

My musings were interrupted by a rustling in the bushes just next to us. We both stopped in our tracks again, looking at the rustling bushes.

"Give me your firewood and I'll take it to the camp while you kill whatever the fuck that is." I whispered.

Frederick nodded once. He doubled the weight on my poor strained arms while he unslung the lance from his back and carefully stepped towards the bushes.

I left as fast as I could, so I didn't get to see Frederick murder a poor, unsuspecting animal, unfortunately.

* * *

For the record, the bear we ate tasted very sweet, and didn't have a lot of fat in it. Don't know why Lissa complained about it, and don't understand why Frederick seemed to turn green at the thought of eating it either. It tasted amazing to me, but that may've just been because I hadn't eaten anything since that morning. Chrom and Robin agreed with me.

Chrom and Robin sat side-by-side on a log, not far from the fire, talking about something I couldn't hear while Frederick sat with his back propped up against a tree, where he could easily see the entire camp. Robin and Chrom was in his immediate field of view. Lissa seemed to be fiddling around with the top of her staff. Frederick's horse was tied to a post that we had hammered into the ground while it idly grazed on grass. I sat alone, staring into the flames of the fire.

The last bits of daylight were still over the horizon, bathing the quickly darkening sky in an orange glow. I could see the stars beginning to become visible through the orange haze.

"Alex." Frederick's deep, stern voice could be heard well over the crackling of the fire. I turned my head in his direction, noticing him staring at me.

_Ah shit. Better now than later, I guess._

I walked over quickly and sat down on the ground in front of him.

"This is about where I'm from, right?"

Frederick nodded once.

I sighed, gathering the right words. "I'm from the United States of America." I said finally.

Frederick raised a brow. "…'The United States of America'?"

"Yeah, it's not on this continent, I don't think. Well, at least,  _I hope not_. But yeah. Call it the U.S. for short." I said, a little faster than I was expecting from myself.

Before Frederick could respond, we received an unexpected visitor. "Heeeey! What're you guys talking about over here?" Lissa asked, curiously.

"I was telling Frederick about how I worship the Outer God Nyarlathotep, and how he was gonna join up as well.  _Whether he liked it or not._ " I replied dryly.

"Ah, really? That's kinda- Wait,  _w-what!?_ " Lissa sputtered, taking a few steps back.

I couldn't help but snicker, while Frederick gave me a withering glare. "I assure you this is untrue, milady. Alex was only informing me of his birthplace. A place supposedly called 'The United States of America'."

"Or the U.S. for short. Can't forget that part." I added.

"Woah, really? I've never heard of a place called that before!" Lissa said.

"Nor have I." Frederick said, his expression neutral.

"You asked me where I came from. I told you. Anything else you'd like to know?" I asked.

"Do you have proof? I have never heard of this country you speak of, and for all I know you can be fabricating it on the spot." Frederick said, his gaze never leaving mine for even a second.

"Really, Frederick?" Lissa pouted, "Didn't you see his clothes, well, his clothes from before? I've never even seen anything like he was wearing when we found him."

"That is true, milady. His garb was strange. I would simply like more to alleviate my suspicions." Frederick replied calmly.

"Yeah, yeah, give me a minute…" I said, rummaging through the pockets of my jeans for a second. I could have gone to my backpack and gotten the psychology textbook, but it wasn't worth it. This was easier anyway. After a moment, I pulled out my wallet, and showed it to them. "This is my wallet. Has all sorts of cool shit in it. Like this, for instance."

I didn't miss the way Frederick's arm moved a slight bit more towards his lance, ready just incase I did something with the unfamiliar object in my hands. Lissa stared with abject curiosity as I opened the wallet and pulled out my Learner's Permit. I gave it to Frederick, who seemed to analyze its every last detail.

"If you want, I could show you my phone too-"

"I cannot read this." Frederick interrupted me. "The language on this… whatever this is, is illegible."

"…What?" I said, genuinely confused.

"I can see a face with lifelike qualities that resembles you a great deal, but the words do not make sense to me." Frederick reiterated, handing back my Learner's Permit. "I am willing to entertain the idea that you are, in fact, from the 'United States of America' as you said, although I am still unsure as to why you would be so near a place like Southtown."

That was not a good sign. The fact that Frederick couldn't read English, yet we were speaking it, or what I recognized to be it, almost made me want to groan out loud. It would mean I'd probably have to learn an entirely new written language.

"Well, I guess that's all I can ask for." I sighed again.

"Hey, don't feel too bad!" Lissa said. "Frederick's grumpy like this with every new person he meets. It just takes him a while to trust people is all!"

"And I would not have it any other way, milady." Frederick replied. "Better to be cautious than dead."

"Eh, what can ya do?" I looked up at the sky and saw the last rays of sunlight begin to darken. "We should probably go to sleep. Something tells me we'll be up early tomorrow."

_That's so true though, considering what is about to happen._

"Yeah, I'm beat! We could've been sleeping in a warm bed right now, but  _somebody_ decided to go hiking into the woods instead!" Lissa said, doing her best to glare at Frederick.

"As milord said, hardship builds character." Frederick repeated.

"Yeah, yeah… See you guys in the morning!" Lissa said cheerfully, before walking off.

I intended to walk away with her, but Frederick had other plans.

Frederick turned back to me. "Before you go, Alex, I have one last question for you."

Suppressing a moan, I answered. "Yeah?"

"Why are you here?" He asked.

I paused for a moment. "Like, right here? Well, you asked me to come over here and-"

"You misunderstand what I am asking. Why are you here, with us? Why did you decide to take up milord's offer?" He elaborated, "I will not lie to you, Alex. You are not very impressive. I can see the fat that lines your stomach through your shirt, and you do not show the signs of a capable warrior in the slightest. You have seemingly lived a life of luxury before we found you. With this in mind, I ask you again: Why are you here?"

_That hit a lot harder than I thought it would._

"…Knowing all that, why would you let Chrom ask me to join without saying anything?" I shot back indignantly.

"Do not dodge my question. It is a simple question, although the answers are varied and complicated depending on the person. Answer me." Frederick pressed.

I may dislike myself. I dislike myself  _a lot,_  but hearing the words I'd always told myself in my head be spoken out of another person's mouth always hurt more somehow. I was able to keep my emotions in check this time, however. Blowing up in Frederick's face like a moron would only serve to make me seem apparently more pathetic in his eyes. I took a deep breath and formulated a response.

"Because I hate the way I am, alright?" After a few moment's silence, I continued. "You see this, Freddy?" I grabbed my stomach. "I hate this. You see this?" I flexed my arms, showing muscle but not a large amount. "I want these to be  _bigger_. I want to be a… I want to be a better person, okay? That's all that this is. I want to be someone that another person looks at and says: 'Look at that guy, he looks like he saves lives for a living!' or  _something_ like that! I never had the courage to do it beforehand. Nor did I have the  _will_ to do it. But here? Here, I can do it! Or, at least, I can fucking  _try!_ "

I paused, took a few deep breaths before forcibly calming myself down. "Long story short, I want to have an interesting life. I want to be a goddamn  _hero_ , alright? And if you think I'm gonna just let you  _discourage_ me or some shit like that, might as well stop, 'cause I'm not going  _anywhere_."

"That is unfortunate." Frederick said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. I could almost feel my lip twitching in a snarl. "Why's that?"

"Because you are not cut out for that life." Frederick answered. "I look at you, and I see a simple boy with a lance. You have neither the instincts nor the body. It would be best for you to leave while you still have the chance."

Frederick's speech struck a nerve in me. He'd basically hit all my insecurities. However, it also opened up a route to fix all said insecurities.

"...Then train me." I muttered.

"Pardon?" Frederick asked, raising a brow.

"Train me." I repeated. "Or teach me or some shit like that. Help me turn  _this_ ," I squeezed my stomach. "into something better. Help me make  _these_ ," I flexed my arms. "bigger. Ask me to, and I'll do whatever is necessary to make what I said earlier become real."

Frederick seemed to regard me differently then. "Are you sure of this? Any training regimen I devise for you would be harsh. Harsher than most I would give considering the state your body is in."

"I don't care, man." I replied sullenly. "I'll do anything you ask me to. Have an outrageous exercise? I'll do it. Hell, I'll do it three times. Just… give me a chance, okay? I don't… really have anywhere else to go right now."

_Especially considering I've just learned I can't read this world's language._

Frederick's eyes glimmered with an unrecognizable shine when I said that. "Very well. When we return to the capitol, we will begin immediately."

I blinked. I wasn't expecting it to be that easy.

"Uh, one more thing." I said.

"Yes?"

"Is there someone in the capitol who can figure out if I can use magic or not?" I asked. hopeful.

I assumed Miriel could help in that regard. I wasn't just going to touch Robin's tome after all. I didn't even know how the magic of this world really worked other than it was split between Dark and Anima magic, with staves for healing.

"Does 'the United States of America' not have a magical institute of any sort?" Frederick responded with a question. When I shook my head, he continued. "I am sure someone could. Magic can take years to learn. I do not understand why you would try to learn it now."

_That's one nail in the Mage Knight coffin then._

"Well, alright then. I guess I'll go to sleep now." I said, getting up and beginning to walk away.

"Indeed. Good night, Alex." Frederick said.

I grunted. I was asleep moment later.

* * *

_I was in a room. My room. A dark red light filtered in through the blue drapes covering the window, and everything looked old and rotted._

_I got up, my bed splintering and cracking underneath me until it was nothing more than a pile of cloth and wood. Every step I took would cave the floor in, revealing a black hole. The house creaked and groaned louder and louder with each step I took. I reached the door to my room, which at that moment separated from the frame, free from the rusting and rapidly disintegrating hinges. I entered the hallway._

_With every step I took, the house seemed to quake. The paint peeled from the walls, falling to the ground like wood shavings. As I went down the stairs, cracks formed in the ceiling, with little bits of plaster and roof tile crumbling as soon as they hit the ground. The covering an air filter screeched like a banshee, before it tumbled to the ground with a_ crash. _The grate-like covering curled in on itself until it almost looked like a dead insect, or an extremely malformed hand. It rusted and disintegrated a moment later._

_Once I reached the ground floor, I saw them. The house was completely collapsing now, but I could still see them. My friends. My family_. _They sat on a decrepit, molded couch, looking at me with eyes like those of a dead fish._

_I walked so slow towards them it was like I was trying to trudge through a river made out of molasses. I reached out to them._

_Then they started melting._

_It was like they were made of wax that had a heat lamp on it. Their skin, their clothes, their everything melted and congealed onto the ground in a muddled brown puddle. It flowed like water into the cracks in the floorboards, occasionally taking a floorboard with it._

_All I saw was red._

* * *

I didn't wake up screaming or anything clichéd like that, but I did abruptly wake up with a start, with sweat covering almost every part of my body. I looked around wildly, my head moving from left to right over and over again.

I realized where I was a moment later. It was at that point that I realized a part of me wanted what had happened to be a dream. Rationally, I knew that it was too real. The way I had bashed a bandit's head in with a rock, the way I had stabbed through that other bandit's torso until he stopped moving, it was all too real.

_You can't get out of it that easily._

The dream was already fading away from memory, but the pit I felt in my stomach and the heaviness in my chest did not go away when I remembered my  _murders_.

I tried my best not to dwell on those thoughts. I would have time later, when we weren't about to be attacked by horrid monsters from the future.

Speaking of horrid monsters, I looked around our campsite. There was a rotation of people who would watch the camp while everyone else was asleep and considering I could not see Chrom or Lissa anywhere, the Risen were probably only a few minutes from showing up at most.

"Well… shit." I mumbled to myself, looking around for my backpack. It was just a couple feet away from me, and the spear/lance that I had taken from the bandit stuck out of it from between two zippers rather haphazardly. I scooted over until I was right next to it, abandoning my sleeping bag.

Robin slept like a log across from me, his sleeping form only visible from the few remaining embers of the fire. Frederick looked nearly as still as a statue, sleeping right next to a tree, looking like he could spring to life at a moment's notice. He still wore his armor.

I waited for what felt like an eternity, listening to the sounds of the forest. I found myself staring at the stars in the sky as I waited.

_…I've never seen a clear sky like this before._

It was stunning. Beautiful. I felt myself calming down just by looking at it.

And then the world began to split a part.

It began with a rumbling in the earth, and I reached for the lance in my backpack as soon as I felt it. Just moments later, in the distance, I saw a giant mass of land rise into the sky. The glow of magma was visible even from where I was.

And then the sky split  _open_.

A dark void split the sky in two, like a piece of paper torn in the middle. A shockwave that nearly caused me to roll across the ground, making the trees shake with the force. A sound, a cursed sound that felt like somebody running their nails across a chalkboard and distorting it with an echo sound effect reverberated throughout the whole forest. It almost made me feel like my ears were gonna start bleeding. The moment I saw an  _eye_ staring out of the dark void, I looked away.

" _By the Gods!_ " I heard Frederick shout. I didn't know he had woken up. " _What is happening!? Milord! Where are you!?_ "

" _I dunno, and I dunno!_ " I shouted back, lying through my teeth. I began putting on my backpack and staring at the treeline, ready to warn the other two if any Risen decided to attack us. I saw Robin still on the ground in his sleeping pack. I rushed over to him and shook him as hard as I could.

_How the fuck could he sleep through what just happened!?_

" _Robin!_ " I shouted at the albino amnesiac. " _Robin, you cocksucker, wake up!_ "

"H-Huh? What's happening!?" He asked, his eyes groggily opening before opening so wide it looked like his eyelids would rip apart. Kinda like the sky did.

"Like I told Freddy, haven't got a fucking  _clue!_ " I lied loudly, pulling Robin to his feet forcefully. I turned back around to see Frederick quickly get on his horse, untying it from the post and calming it down as fast as he could.

"We need to find milord and milady immediately! Both of you, get on!" Frederick ordered.

I took one look at Frederick's armored horse. "Can that horse support one giant armored guy plus two normal guys?" I'd always heard that the amount a horse can carry on their back has been greatly exaggerated in fiction.

Frederick looked at me as if I had said something so stupid who almost couldn't comprehend it. "Jagen has carried more than all of us combined on his back before, and so did his fathers!  _Get on now!_ "

_Wait, his horse's name is Jagen!?_

Ignoring the fact that Frederick's horse was probably some sort of god-like entity considering it could hold all three of us, I ran up to Frederick and got on the horse, helping Robin get on as well. Frederick… did  _something_ with his legs, and we were off like a speeding bullet.

"Gods, more horseback riding…" Robin mumbled grumpily.

"Not a fan, I take it?" I asked back, trying to keep my voice over the sound of the wind in my ears.

"There's something about the motion, the way the horse is moving… My stomach feels like it is flipping around inside of me." Robin elaborated. He almost looked green.

"Well, let's hope we find Chrom and Lissa soon, then. Frederick! I saw them head towards the direction of that wall of lava over there, just before everything went to shit!" I directed, pointing in the direction of the giant wall of rock with magma spewing from the crack in the earth it made.

Frederick didn't even say anything as his horse galloped in that direction. We had a few close calls with trees, but Frederick's horse always instinctually knew when to move. On top of super strength, it also had hyperawareness.

_Just what kind of horses do the breed in Ylisse!?_

We turned around the giant trunk of a tree on fire and saw our first Risen.

You know, I'd mentioned it several times when I first met Chrom, Lissa, Frederick, and Robin, but up to that point, I'd barely been able to recognize that they were the characters themselves based on looks alone. 2D interpretations of people, especially in the anime art style Awakening had, did not translate completely well to real life, or at least not in ways that you expected.

This  _creature_ looked like the very definition of a zombie. It wore the standard soldier army from the game that you'd sometimes see in portraits, only rusted, and looking like it would fall apart at any moment. Its face was a rotten purple, with no visible nose. Its eyes glowed a blood-red and felt like it pierced directly into my soul. It stared at us from across a small patch of unwooded area, unmoving like a statue. Frederick's horse stopped in its tracks, and Frederick seemed absolutely astonished at the creature that stood in front of us. Robin gasped audibly when he looked at it.

Then, with slow, stilted movements, the abomination looked to the sky, and  _howled_. It sounded like a deaf person screaming in pain. I had an appropriate response in kind.

I  _cowered_ behind Frederick's massive form.

_Some brave hero you are._

I peeked from behind Frederick, to see the obvious Risen  _running_ towards us. It ran faster than a human ever possibly could, a sword held in one hand. I swore I could hear the crunching of bone as it pushed it's dead, decaying muscle to the absolute limit just for a chance to murder us horribly.

Frederick grunted, and his horse charged the undead monstrosity. He held his lance forward, ready to impale the creature.

_I'd almost forgotten you're an absolute badass, Frederick. I'm sorry._

The lance connected with the Risen, and its chest  _exploded,_ splattering the grass with viscera and black blood. The red eyes vanished slowly, glaring at us with absolute hatred before the husk that was once a human fell to the ground, disappearing along with the gore into a purple mist. Soon, even that disappeared. The only thing that even gave a hint that something was there was the footsteps the Risen took to reach us. It was sprinting at us so powerfully it dug the earth away every time it took a step.

It was a good few moments before any of us spoke.

"Are… Are such creatures common in this country?" Robin asked shakily.

"No." Frederick replied flatly.

I said nothing.

* * *

We ended up finding Chrom and Lissa only seconds after our first Risen encounter. Chrom had Falchion unsheathed, and Lissa looked like she was about to start screaming at any moment.

"Milord! Milady! Are you hurt!?" Frederick said, genuine fear in his tone.

"Frederick! Robin! Alex!" Lissa shouted in relief as we approached. "Thank goodness…!"

"We ran into a… creature on the way here." Robin said, climbing off of Frederick's horse. "Chrom, did you see one as well?"

" _One?_ " Chrom echoed. "No, we saw  _dozens_. Only two came after us. We were able to fend them off with the help of… Huh?" Chrom looked around incredulously. "Where did he go?"

"Milord, the whereabouts of whoever helped you can wait. We must destroy these creatures while we still can." Frederick said, looking around at the dark forest all around us.

"Yeah, and get absolutely torn apart in the process." I commented, trying to get off Jagen before getting my foot caught on something. "Shit, sonuva-!"

I fell to the ground face first. I could hear Lissa giggling but other than that, nothing. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Blondy."

_Always use humor to take the edge off, bucko._

"Oh, who are you calling 'blondy'? Your hair is almost as blond as mine!" Lissa laughed. At this, even Chrom chuckled slightly.

"Now ya see,  _I_ can pull it off better than you… can…" I trailed off as I looked at the forest behind Chrom and Lissa. At seeing my face, both of their faces fell.

"Alex? What's wrong?" Chrom asked.

Robin looked to where I was staring, and his red eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets. "C-Chrom! Behind you!"

The blue-haired lord turned around, Falchion at the ready. In the treeline, just beyond where the light touches, were a pair of glowing red eyes. They just stared at us.  _Menacingly_.

I saw Robin turn his head, looking away from the red eyes. His eyes narrowed at something in the distance. "Chrom, is that an abandoned fort over there?" He pointed where he was looking.

Chrom briefly glanced in the direction Robin pointed. "Yes. There are many of those in this part of the country."

Just as Chrom said this, more eyes seemed to open and glare at us openly. It was like looking at a night sky full of red stars.

_I don't remember there being quite that many Risen on the game map…!_

"C-Chrom, there's a lot of them…!" Lissa said, voice shaking.

"Forts present a distinct tactical advantage in battle." Robin said, voice level. "Although, in this case, it would be an excellent position to hold out from."

"You are proposing we trap ourselves?" Frederick said critically.

"It's either that or we take them on in open battle. And in case you haven't noticed…" Robin trailed off as a Risen began walking slowly out of the treeline, a slight limp in its step and a sword dragging on the ground behind it.

Like the Risen I'd seen before, this thing was easily one of the most viscerally disturbing things I had ever seen in my entire life. It wore the shredded clothing of what I assumed was a villager. Its purple head seemed to be caved in on one side, and black blood oozed out of the wound.

_Zombie movies and stories are entertaining until you live in one._

"I support the tactician's position. We need to get the  _fuck_ outta here." I hissed, hands gripping my lance so tightly my hand were completely white.

Chrom's head snapped back to us. "Alright… Alright! Everyone, to the fort, now!" He ordered.

"At once, milord." Frederick said.

Just before we began running, the Risen that had stepped out into the open  _screeched_ like a banshee. All hell broke loose. The Risen that had apparently gathered in the forest ran out of it in a stampede. There were dozens of them, each and every one just a grisly and horrible to look at as the last.

We ran like the wind, with Frederick leading the charge. The fort wasn't very impressive, but its walls looked like they were in good condition. There were few, if any, ways for the Risen to climb the walls. The stone archway entrance also seemed to have a heavy wooden door.

It didn't take us long to reach the vicinity of the fort, but there was a  _very_ big surprise waiting there for us when we did.

Someone was struggling to close the wooden doors of the stone archway. Someone with blue hair, a tiara, and a mask. Marth/Lucina was one of the few people I was able to recognize almost instantly.

She didn't seem surprised when she saw us. Granted, it would be hard to tell considering she was still wearing that mask. She instantly stopped trying to push the doors closed and motioned for us to go faster. " _Come on!_ " She shouted, in that fake voice of hers.

I was the last person in our little running group. Having Chrom and Robin able to outrun me did not make me feel too bad, considering they'd probably had years of conditioning. But  _Lissa_  was outrunning me.  _In a frilly dress_. I didn't count Frederick because he was on a horse.

_I only feel slightly emasculated. Don't worry._

Something possessed me to look behind us. An ocean of Risen were on our heels. Rusty and broken weapons clashing against each other and the ground felt like they made my teeth rattle. The growls and snarls that came from the crowd of undead nearly made me piss my pants in fear. Darkness began to cloud my vision.

I pushed my legs to go as fast as I possibly could, still feeling like I was getting nowhere. It felt like the Risen were gaining on me, no matter what I did. I was certain I would be caught before I reached the gates, and they would either tear me apart or turn me into one of them.

_hApPy ThOuGhTs._

"He's in! Close the doors,  _now!_

I made it just in time. The others had made it through the stone archway just before I did and were already ready to close the doors when I made it through. With Frederick and Robin on one side, and Chrom and 'Marth' on the other, the doors closed with what sounded to my ears eerily like a thunderclap. A sturdy wooden plank was put on two outcroppings on each side of the door, keeping it from opening. The Risen slammed into it just a moment later. The door groaned with strain, but held.

I was on the ground, feeling nauseous. I gulped down air like it was the most precious thing on the face of the planet. Robin seemed to be in the same camp as I was, if him slumping to the ground with his back against the wall was anything to go by.

"Is everyone alright?"

"I am fine, milord." Frederick said, dismounting.

"J-Just a little outta breath, Chrom. This stupid dress made running a little… hah, hard!" Lissa breathed.

_Please, for the love of God, don't say that ever again, especially in the way that you did!_

"A little winded, but otherwise nothing wrong here." Robin commented.

"I feel like my chest is trying to kill me, but I won't let it, don't worry." I gasped.

Chrom chuckled. "You have a strange way of putting things, Alex."

I sat up and held my arms out like I was challenging him. "Foreigner, remember?

"Oh, really? What  _else_  have you been keeping from me?" Chrom asked, smiling.

"I'm also a prophet of Slaanesh, but don't tell anyone." I murmured conspiratorially.

Chrom shook his head, before turning to the silent 'Marth'. "It seems I owe you for helping us twice. Might I know your name?"

After a brief moment of silence, 'Marth' spoke. "You may call me Marth."

_Ah shit, here we go again. Front row seat to a cutscene._

"'Marth'? After the Hero-King?" Chrom asked curiously.

" _Marth, hah…!_ " I wheezed, waving my hand in the air. "Either your parents had zero creativity, or you're a time traveler."

_That may have been a little too on the nose, boy scout._

'Marth' looked at my waving arm strangely, but seemingly ignored my comment.

Before anyone could speak, another 'bang' came from the wooden door.

"Uh… How long is that door gonna last?" Lissa asked nervously.

"It is a sturdy oaken door, even if old." Frederick supplied. "They will hold for now."

"Good. I have a feeling we will wait here for a while. If we blindly charge at them now, we'll be torn apart." Robin said, standing back up and dusting off his coat. "Unless, of course, this fortress has an escape route. That might actually be worth checking out… Chrom?"

"Go ahead, Robin. If you find anything, let me know." Chrom said.

As Robin entered the fort's main building, I spoke again. "So, what if he doesn't find anything here? We just gonna wait those fuckers out?"

"I don't see any other way out of this. Robin's right; there are too many out there for all of us to take down." Chrom replied.

"We're gonna stay in this dusty old fort all night?" Lissa whined.

"That would be ill-advised, sir." 'Marth' finally spoke again. "Those creatures do not tire. They will be here until we are either gone or dead."

"You seem to know a lot about those creatures, Marth." Frederick said.

"I have been fighting them all my life, sir." 'Marth' responded.

Chrom seemed to think for a moment, before apparently coming to a decision. "I sent Sully out to patrol a nearby village. With any luck, she'll be here soon, and we can come up with a better plan."

"Christ, it's just like Helm's Deep…" I muttered.

Chrom looked to me and raised a brow. "Helm's Deep?"

I waved a hand. "I'll tell ya later, man. When we aren't about to be murdered by a bunch of purple-skinned abominations."

"I'll hold you to that, Alex." Chrom smirked. "For now, I think we should rest. Prepare yourselves just in case they break through."

* * *

I had my back against the wall, my legs splayed out against the ground in front of me. My lance/spear was on my lap, still clutched tightly by my hands. It had been a few minutes since Robin had gone into the fort to look for an escape route, but somehow, I doubted he'd find one. Frederick guarded the door to the fort like a watchdog. He didn't even jump when the door sounded like somebody slamming their whole body against it. Chrom and Lissa went to go find Robin, and for all I knew, they were planning a strategy involving Sully right at that moment.

Which meant that the only free people in the fort were 'Marth' and me.

She approached me first, standing in front of me like she was trying to block the moonlight from hitting me. I just sat there, looking up at her awkwardly.

"Uh… 'Dear Diary, creepy masked man stared at me today and it  _really_ made me feel uncomfortable. I wish he would stop'." I said.

This did not affect 'Marth', in the slightest.

I held my head in my hands, groaning. "Look, man. I've had a hell of a day. So unless you've got something to-"

"You know who I am." 'Marth' said simply.

… _Oh shit._

That sent my mind into overdrive. I looked up carefully, directly at 'Marth's face. "…Do I?" I replied carefully.

'Marth' nodded. "You told us everything."

"…Well, shit." I sighed, messaging my temples. "Look, yeah, I know everything. About you, and about your time travelling groupies. Happy? Future me tell you ' _everything'_? Or just everything?"

"You told us  _everything._ " 'Marth' repeated.

"Well, then, why are you talking to  _me_ ,  _Lucina?_ " I whispered harshly. "Your father is just inside the goddamn fort. Go talk to him if you want stimulating conversation. I'm practically useless to you as I am now."

"…Even now, I still have trouble believing everything you told us in the future." Lucina said. "But this is quite the experience."

"Yeah? Tell me about it." I laughed awkwardly. "Seriously, though. Why aren't you talking to your father? It'll be a while until you can talk to him again."

"I am… trying to keep it that way." Lucina replied. "It is best I don't interfere unless absolutely necessary."

"And yet here you are, talking to the biggest outside-context problem in history." I muttered. "Okay, I'll bite, princess. Why're you talking to me, specifically?"

"You need to leave." She said curtly.

"Not gonna happen, considering the fucking wights are outside." I responded, irritated.

She shook her head. "I mean leave the Shepherds, Sir Alex."

I paused then. "Why?"

"Because you are not meant for this life." She answered. "Joining the Shepherds of your own volition was an admirable thing, but it will only hurt someone like you."

"…The hell brought this on?" I asked slowly. "You only know me from the future, so you must be basing what you said on what happened to me in the future." I paused again. "…What happened to me?"

Lucina didn't speak for several moments. She may have been deciding whether she should tell me or not, but eventually she spoke again. "You became a bitter, cold man." She said.

"Well shit, I guess nothing's changed." I said, halfway seriously.

"From what I have seen of you, you are almost nothing like the Sir Alex I know. Why would you say something like that?" Lucina demanded.

"Just a joke, kid. Jesus. Anything else you wanna say to try and persuade me?" I asked.

"You… Hmph. Sir Alex served the Ylissean crown for many years. Fought in countless battles. But he was a broken man. In all the time I knew him, he never once smiled. I… would rather not have the same thing happen again."

I looked Lucina dead in the eye, or mask, or whatever. "…Did this 'Sir Alex' have a wife?"

"That is a question I refuse to answer." Lucina said instantly.

"And there it is…" I mumbled. I thought for a moment, before finally replying. "I'm not leaving."

"But why? Do you not have family back in your home country? What would they think if they saw you in the state I described?" Lucina queried, confused.

"Either I really  _didn't_ tell you everything in the future, or you're  _really_  trying to pull the family card. It'd probably work in any other situation. But I'm stuck here. In Ylisse. There's no going home for me. Chrom's group is the one I know the most, so I'm going to stay with him. Not like I'd have a better chance anywhere else, honestly." I said.

_Can't forget your little idealistic bullshit as well, can we?_

Lucina looked a little… shocked? It was hard to tell, again, because of the mask. She seemed to process my words for a moment. "…Is there truly no way to persuade you, Sir Alex?"

"I've already murdered two people." I said quietly. "If I just leave now, then what was that for? Not sure I'd be able to take it honestly. Besides, your whole shtick is about 'challenging your fate', right? Well, guess I'll do the same thing, huh?"

"…Very well." Lucina said. "I will not try to remove you by force. Goodbye, Sir Alex. I wish you luck."

"You ever need to talk about the future or shit like that, I'm available. Probably the only other person who understand what you're going through other than your friends." I said, just before she walked away.

She didn't give a sign that she heard anything I had said.

I sighed, rubbing my palms against my face. So much had been left unsaid in that conversation it was honestly  _astonishing_. Future me, since I knew there was a future me now, apparently couldn't keep his fuckmothering mouth shut. I only hoped nothing came about from this information. Or that if there did, it wouldn't be detrimental.

I groaned.

_Things are gonna get a lot more complicated now, boy scout._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was that? Have I scared any of you off yet? Hopefully I haven't but you never know.
> 
> Not really a lot to say about this chapter, other than I was surprised at how I portrayed the Risen. They're more like the wights from GoT then they are like the Risen from the game. And as we can see here, a lot more numerous as well.
> 
> Anyway, hopefully this chapter was up to snuff. If not, then I accept full responsibility.


	3. Mileage May Vary

The Risen were as relentless as they were terrifying. Not a minute went by in that fort that the sturdy oak doors weren't being banged on. It made me feel like the whole world was crashing down around me.

Chrom, Robin, and Lissa walked out of the fort's main building around five minutes after my conversation with Marth/Lucina. Surprise, surprise, there was no backdoor exit. Not one that wasn't caved in, anyway. This meant that our fate was in the hands of a Butch and her surprisingly competent archest of archers.

Of course, the others didn't know about that last part. It would be a nice surprise. I always did have a soft spot for Virion.

"I really hope you have a plan. Or something at least." I mumbled to Robin, watching the door shake just a bit harder this time. "Because if you don't, we're probably gonna be torn apart."

"I do have an inkling, yes," Robin replied smoothly, "Chrom has given me the name and profile of the other Shepherd. If I am right, we might have a chance."

"That sounds creepy  _and_ cryptic. Package deal with you, huh?" I said, looking up at the parapet to see Chrom. His cape was waving majestically in the wind. He looked out at the dark expanse of land covered in moonlight, gaze never wavering.

_Does he mean to look that badass, or does it just come naturally to him?_

Robin laughed. "It would appear so, wouldn't it? It's so strange, knowing how to do all of these things and yet not knowing  _why_."

I awkwardly pat him on the back. "Hey, man. It might come back to you eventually. If not, who cares? I think you're in pretty good hands."

"I suppose there is some truth to what you say. I am just worried I may have… forgotten something extremely important, if that makes sense? For instance, what if I had a family? A significant other? Those thoughts frighten me." Robin said all at once.

I stared blankly at him.

_He truly has no fucking clue. Dear fucking Lord._

After chewing on the inside of my mouth for a moment, I gave my answer. "Maybe we shouldn't be having a heart-to-heart like this when we're in the middle of a murder fort. Wanna pick this up later?"

After a second of silence, Robin nodded his head. "Yes, you are right. Just nerves, I suppose. Have to keep focused." He looked up to the parapet. "I think Chrom wants us to see something."

I looked up to where he was standing and saw Chrom waving us up. I sighed and got up, knees creaking as I did so. We walked up the steps to the parapet silently.

"I guess the horde of undead outside haven't gotten tired yet, huh?" I said, looking out to the Risen that trapped us in that hellhole in the first place.

"No, they haven't. You're welcome to sing to them if you think that would help, Alex." Chrom said back, smirking slightly before his handsome face settled back to a neutral expression. "But in all honesty, this is not looking good. Sully hasn't arrived and the Risen seem to be making serious progress on that door."

Just as he said that, another bang, this time punctuated by the sound of wood cracking, was heard. It made me shiver. Below, in the main area of the fort, I could hear 'Marth' unsheathe 'his' blade, Frederick's armor clinking from him moving suddenly, and Lissa squeaking in surprise.

"…We're so fucked." I mumbled.

"Without your friend Sully coming in from behind, as well as the only exit besides the front entrance being blocked by rubble, there's… not a lot we can do other than brave the creatures outside, unfortunately. If we had some leftover barrels, we could have set them on fire and send them tumbling over the walls, but…" Robin murmured to himself.

_Considering what you do during the Valmese War, the fact that plan crossed your mind does not surprise me in the slightest, Robin._

"Yeah, if only the people who used this fort before us could see into the future. Would've saved us a lot of trouble." I attempted to joke, but even I knew that it fell completely flat. The other two being all silent and grim was all the answer I needed.

Chrom sighed. "If the worst comes to pass, we must drive these creatures away from Southtown. We at the very least must do that!"

_Oh, shit. We're really about to die, aren't we?_

My grip on the lance/spear in my hands somehow tightened even further. It felt like it would snap in half. A terrible sense of dread began to overtake me. How the hell did it come to this? It was not supposed to be like this. There were less than ten or twelve Risen on the map in the game. But here, there were dozens of them. Breaking down our door like we were in some kind of zombie survival game.

If we were, it was a pretty shitty one.

Robin pulled the Thunder tome out of his robe and held it  _menacingly_. "We may need to-"

It sounded like a whistle. A white-brown line fell from the sky and disappeared at the entrance of the fort, and I heard a meaty 'thunk' once said white-brown line of the gods hit something.

I looked at Robin.

Robin looked at Chrom.

Chrom looked at the Risen that fell to the ground, an arrow sticking out of its head and black blood oozing onto the ground. It vanished into blackish-purple smoke a moment later.

"I'm not the only one who saw that, right?" I asked.

Silence was my answer as a second arrow hit another Risen. Straight in the head. In the distance, I heard  _shouting_. The next thing to follow was a woman riding in on horseback, the light of the moon glinting off her lance. She laughed as her lance ran a Risen through the chest, spraying black blood over the ground and other Risen. The pressure on the door to the fort lessened as the Risen became distracted by the roaring woman.

In other words, this was our chance.

"Chrom!" Robin shouted. "Pincer attack! We rush them from here, while your friend keeps them busy over there!"

Chrom nodded quickly, charging down the parapet with us in tow. 'Marth', Frederick, and Lissa perked up once they heard the commotion, but were at full attention once Chrom was among them.

"We just got a lucky break!" He said, unsheathing Falchion. "Sully is distracting the Risen for us. We'll use this chance to take out as many of them as we can! Shepherds, with me!  _Charge!_ "

Must people tend to make a big deal about how strong Chrom really is. When I read stuff like that, I tended to simply agree with it and move on; usually, it wasn't very important. It wasn't until Chrom kicked down a sturdy oaken door – the opposite direction it was supposed to go, might I add – and it fell to the ground, crushing at least one Risen underneath it, that I really  _understood_  just how  _strong_  he was. Sure, the Risen were beating on that door pretty hard for around twenty minutes, but still.

Only Robin and I were even phased by this. Robin recovered completely only a second later, his face settling into a grim expression.

"At once, milord!" Frederick obeyed without question. He charged into the horde of distracted Risen outside. His shining lance looked like a piece of pure moonlight as it stabbed through several Risen, painting the ground in black blood and smoke.

'Marth' was silent as 'he' charged. The Parallel Falchion in 'his' hands cut through Risen like a hot knife through butter. 'He' fought them like a master, effortlessly dodging blows from rusted weapons or bony claws.

Robin was next. Lightning flowed from his fingertips like he was Zeus. One unlucky Risen felt the full brunt of the lightning that surged from his hand. It spasmed several times, the yellow electricity coursing through its dead, decaying body, before it fell to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. It vanished into smoke a second later.

Lissa held herself back, looking at the carnage before her. She occasionally healed someone someone with her staff if a Risen was lucky enough to get a shot in.

And what did I do during all of this?

I got caught up in the heat of the moment. I charged with everyone else, shouting a battle cry, although to my own ears it sounded grating as all hell. I came upon one solitary Risen that had been separated from the others and stabbed it through the chest with my lance. It stopped moving for a moment, as if in disbelief that I'd actually stabbed it.

And then it looked right into my eyes. The burning coals in its eye sockets felt like they pierced my  _soul_. The Risen moaned, grabbed the lance, and started pushing it further into itself. It closed the distance fast, and I yelped as I fell. The lance was still inside the Risen, so it fell with me.

All I saw was its face. A pitted face. A hole where its nose should have been. A missing ear. A jaw that held only a few teeth inside of its rotting gums. Its mouth opened and snapped closed as it clawed at me, only stopped by the lance that held it just far enough not to completely maul me to pieces.

It got so close that it was able to wrap its gangly, decayed claws around my throat.

My chest felt like it was on  _fire_. The only rational thought in my mind was me chastising myself for being stupid enough to not go for the head. I'd seen the others do what I did, with their own spears, but they were on horseback and had the advantage of momentum. The Risen practically broke apart when they stabbed them with their lances. Me? I was just a single human with a crude lance and not a lot of combat experience. Was it any wonder it wouldn't be enough?

The rest of my brain was in complete fight-or-flight mode. Since flight was significantly more difficult, my hands scrambled around for another weapon, or failing that, a rock.

My hands successfully grabbed the handle of something, and without even looking, I swung upward.

Black blood fell onto my face, temporarily blinding me. I kept my mouth closed and didn't breathe out of my nose, hoping it would dissipate. After a few seconds, I tentatively opened my eyes. An axe was lodged in the Risen's head, and its red, hate-filled eyes went out like a burnt-out lightbulb. Its body disappeared into purplish-black smoke not long after, and the blood that coated me went with it. The axe, and my lance, clattered to the ground.

_Jesus H. Christ they may have been right._

The Risen fell to the others like wheat to a scythe. If the Risen didn't dissipate after suffering catastrophic damage, the ground would be covered in their blood and bodies. The battle didn't last long after my little escapade. Soon, any stragglers were cut down, by either Falchion or a lance.

_At least you got one, bud._

I scrambled back to my feet, but the battle was already over. There were only the seven of us in that clearing in front of the old fort. Sully being the only addition to our little party. I had no idea where Virion was.

Sully herself is exactly what you would expect. She wore the well-maintained uniform of a cavalier, without the arm pauldrons, which showed just how toned and muscular her arms and shoulders were. With red hair cut short, it would be easy to mistake her for a man from far away, although I couldn't remember if she would be mad or happy if I said that out loud.

I voted more for mad.

"Damn, Chrom! Didn't expect ya to charge outta the fort just like that! Made my job easier, though. How many ya think we took down? Forty? Fifty?" Sully laughed, dismounting her steed and jogging up to the group.

"Heh, maybe around forty-five, I'd say! It makes me wonder why we sealed ourselves in the fort at all." Chrom replied, chuckling.

"Only forty-five? Shame, that. Although me an' Ruffles saw some more fall outta that weird portal-thingy farther down the road. Remembered you'd all be here and came a-galloping!"

Chrom was about to say something, but he stopped himself and raised a brow. "Ruffles?"

"Oh. Long-haired, annoying little peacock he is. Helped me take out a few of those creatures though so I guess he can't be  _that_  bad. Should be here in mo-" She was interrupted by said peacock apparently appearing out of the fucking  _ether_.

"Milady! Did you not see my arrows as they fell from the sky? They were things of beauty, of such unequivocal grace that even I, the archest of archers, nearly wept gentle tears once they hit their intended targets!" Virion practically  _gushed_ , getting everyone's attention.

_You a good guy, Virion. At least you're funny._

Virion was a strange case. Unnaturally purplish-blue hair cascaded down the sides of his head, framing a charmingly handsome face. His form was lithe, and he wore armor and clothes distinct from everyone else.

All in all, exactly as I expected. Too bad that couldn't have been said for anyone else when I first met them back in Southtown.

"Oh Gods, he's here already." Sully mumbled. "How'd ya get here so fast? You were all the way up that hill."

"Nothing can stop Virion when he has a beautiful lady in sight. Not even these foul creatures!" Virion continued, flashing a dazzling smile in Sully's direction. This seemed to only piss her off more as she glared at Virion.

"Maybe that kick I gave ya back there wasn't enough. Maybe I shoulda aimed just a bit lower. Right between the legs."

"N-Now there is little reason to get violent, milady! One kick from your shapely legs is enough for me."

_If this keeps up we could be here for a while. Let's keep this going._

"Uh, not that this conversation isn't  _riveting_ banter, but, um, who are these guys?" I asked awkwardly, fidgeting with my hands. Lissa silently stared at me when I did that.

"This is Sully, one of the Shepherds." Frederick introduced her, before staring at Virion suspiciously. "I, however, have no idea as to who this is."

"Have I not introduced myself? Pardon my manners, my new friends! My name is Virion, the archest of archers! A pleasure to make your acquaintances!" He swished around a bit, bowing in such a way that it made my back and legs hurt.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm Sully. Nice to meetcha and all that." Sully waved at me, and then at Robin. "Who're you guys?"

"I am Robin. I look forward to working with you in the future, Sully."

Sully nodded, then looked to me.

"Uh, name's Alex. Nice to meet you too." I stuttered like a complete and utter idiot.

"Heh, what's wrong? Nothing wrong with me, is there?" She gave me a strange glance. "There  _better_ not be anything wrong."

"Nah, just a bit… rattled." I murmured, looking down at the ground for a second, staring into nothing.

"Hey," Lissa said, walking closer to me. "Are you okay?"

She looked me directly in the eyes then, and I almost fucking  _broke_. However, considering there was other people there, I was not inclined to break down into a screaming fit. It was better to do that alone, in an enclosed space. Without windows.

Sully pointed towards 'Marth' who, up until this point, was as still as a statue and as silent as one. "Who's dark, masked, and handsome over there?"

'Marth' flinched slightly but said nothing.

"Oh, that's Marth." Chrom explained. "He helped us escape from that horde a while ago. Speaking of which, I thank you again for that. Without you, we would all be… well, it wouldn't be pleasant."

"There is no need to thank me, sir." 'Marth' replied curtly. "I am merely doing what I need to."

"Is that so?" Frederick said. "And what is it you need to do?"

"I'm not here to talk about me." 'Marth' responded quickly. "This world teeters at the brink of a horrible calamity. What you saw tonight was but a prelude." 'He' then turned around, with the swish of 'his' cape. "You have been warned."

_If I wasn't on the verge of an extremely destructive panic attack, I would have had a fanboy squeee!_

"Wait, calamity whatsitnow? Wait, come back!" Lissa called after 'him', but 'Marth' was already gone.

"A strange individual. His skills do not lie in conversation, but his swordsmanship is impressive. We will see his name again." Frederick said.

"I certainly hope so. That kind of swordsmanship could be great to have on our side." Chrom said and turned to Sully. "You said something about more of these creatures being down the road?"

"Yeah, there's a few more of those purple dastards down there. We should probably take 'em out too before they get too close to another town." Sully informed us.

"We can destroy them on our way to Ylisstol then." Chrom nodded. "We need to make sure no more of our villages are attacked by these monsters. Virion, do you want to come with us?"

"Ah, an invitation to take down more beasts of the terrible night? If so, I gladly except! My excellent skills as the archest of archers are at your disposal!"

"Uh… Right."

I picked up my spear, my hands shaking. We gathered what little we could from our old camp, before setting off down the road.

* * *

"Lissa, for the last time, I do  _not_ have a funny hat, nor do I have a dark and troubled back story. Please, for the love of  _God_ , drop it." I moaned, barely keeping pace with the others as we marched towards Ylisstol.

"I mean, are you  _suuuure?_  You were wearing something pretty strange looking when we found you. Does the United States of America have cool swords? Oh! Oh! Do they have any pretty staves!?" Lissa squirmed a bit. "Do they have better dresses there too?"

"Yes to the last, no to everything else. Now  _please-_ "

Those next few days after the first time the Shepherds encountered the Risen were a mixture of brutal and oddly humorous. Brutal in that we found the remains of several groups of people who came upon a roving band of Risen unprepared, and humorous in the conversation and company I seemed to keep.

Take Lissa. She was a veritable ball of energy in some respects. When she wasn't complaining, at least. She was also, oddly enough, one of the few people I talked to during that week, the other being Robin and on occasion Frederick.

When it came to the remains of the villagers, we found…

* * *

_I smelled it before I saw it, but that in no way prepared me for it._

" _Oh, Jesus fucking Christ-!" I gasped._

_It was a pile of bodies on the side of the road. They were spread out a bit but the volume of them made it seem like a pile._

" _Alex? What's- Gods…!" Chrom stopped once he saw the bodies. "What… What happened here!? I thought we destroyed all the creatures that came out of the portal!"_

" _Milord, either there were more of them then we realized, or there were more portals. Or perhaps these people were attacked by bandits." Frederick reasoned, coming up behind us on Jagen._

_I looked at the bodies, grimly noting that many of them had more wounds then was probably necessary to kill someone. In other words, they were mutilated. Many of them had lost a limb, with only the bright white of bone to show that there used to be an arm or a leg there. A veritable ocean of blood covered the ground where the bodies laid, and it looked disgusting, coagulated. They had been there for a while, if that and the smell were anything to go by._

_I gagged and looked away when I saw a little arm poking out of one particular set of bodies. A man and a woman, trying to shield and failing at protecting their child-_

_I nearly threw up. I looked to Chrom whose blue eyes were practically on fire with rage._

" _We need to find who did this. If they are those creatures from before, then it is my duty to-"_

" _Milord-"_

" _I can't just let them get away with this, Frederick! They've murdered innocent people and we weren't here to-" Chrom seemingly calmed himself down, quite forcefully. Several deep breaths later, he addressed Frederick. "Speak, Frederick."_

" _Yes, Milord. We must return to Ylisstol as quickly as possible. We are only one group of people against potentially hundreds of these creatures. The sooner we make it back, the sooner we can make sure what happens here does not occur elsewhere."_

_Chrom nodded, looking down at his feet. "I-I understand Frederick. I just…" Chrom looked back up. "Lissa and the others are still back down the road, right?"_

" _Unless they have felt the need to speed up, then they should." Frederick affirmed._

" _Go to her. Inform Sully and Robin of what we found here. And… make sure Lissa doesn't see this."_

_Frederick would have bowed, but since riding on horseback made that a bit difficult, he nodded deeply instead. "At once, milord."_

* * *

There was no mention of shit like that happening during small timeskips between chapters, but in hindsight it made sense. Awakening was only light-hearted on the account of omission. It did have its darker moments, but it didn't show an entire group of villagers butchered like cattle on the side of the road. At least, not as graphically as this. It was enough to give anyone nightmares.

I didn't get nightmares, though. Not since that first night.

"And there it is, Ylisstol in all of her glory." Chrom said, walking up the last stretch of hill to its crest.

Frederick was next. "No signs of major damage. The city was spared the worst of the disaster."

Robin breathing hitched. "I've never seen a city this large…"

"Considering you've only seen one, that ain't saying much-" I began to say, but a sudden tug on my arm made me go faster. "Hey! Hey! Quit pulling me-!"

"But you're going soooo  _slow!_  C'mon, I wanna show you the capitol!" Lissa whined.

"Best to do as a fine lady says, my friend!" Virion said, climbing up the hill a lot faster than my fat ass could.

"Fucking- Alright! I'm hurrying up. Please stop trying to pull my arm out of its socket!" I moaned, picking up the pace.

Sully was already there when we got to the top of the hill, looking out at a no doubt scenic view. Once I was there, I drank the sight in as best as I could.

_Well, that's a little underwhelming._

After all the time it was talked up by everyone else, after all the urging to see it and to get there as fast as possible, I expected a metropolis on the scale of New York, or perhaps even bigger than that. I expected a mega city of truly epic proportions, with gleaming spires and floating islands held aloft by poorly explained magic.

Instead, what I saw was a fairly ordinary 'city'. 'City' as in it was barely up to my standards of what a city was. I didn't know much about medieval culture or way of life, but I did remember reading somewhere that the average population of a city during those times was around ten-thousand to a hundred-thousand people. If I'd been pushed against a rock and asked at gunpoint how many people lived in Ylisstol, I'd have to say somewhere in the middle. Around fifty-thousand people. Pretty large by most standards of a time like the middle ages, but not impossible.

There was one buildings that stood out, though. It wasquite easily the castle that the Exalt and her family lived in, as it pretty much towered over everything else. It was practically  _blinding_ to look at, though. It was made of some white stone that reflected light directly into my goddamn retinas. Felt like it would have made me go fucking blind.

"Damn…" I breathed out.

Lissa squealed. "I know right!?"

After almost of week of travelling – with it feeling more like a century – we were there. While small and generally underwhelming from first impressions, the giant castle notwithstanding, I did remember the main characters remarking that Ylisstol was a bustling city at the very least. I hoped that it would remind me of home, in that way. I was still determined to make the most out of this chance I had been given, but that did not mean I did not get homesick. And, on that hill overlooking Ylisstol, I felt the first pangs of it.

It would not be the last time I felt that.

* * *

"This… is a lot of people. More than I've ever seen in one place." Robin breathed out as we walked the cobbled streets of Ylisstol.

I gave him a sidelong glance. "Again, really not saying much, are you?"

Robin chuckled. "Heh. I suppose not." Robin looked around a little more. "It's just a bit… overwhelming."

On that, we could agree. Whatever my first impressions of Ylisstol when we saw it from the distance, they were completely destroyed by the time we arrived in the city proper. Well-maintained buildings made of high-quality stone lined the streets, which themselves were almost clean enough to eat off. People went to-and-fro, rushing down the streets. The sounds of the crowd itself was  _nostalgic_. Every once in a while, we would come across a vendor stall, with an assortment of items, usually jewelry or food of some sort.

In a way, it  _did_ remind me of home. Which was a relief. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to stick around.

My thoughts from earlier – the two people I murdered, almost being strangled by a Risen – almost surfaced again. I shut them down as hard as I could. I would not break down in the presence of everyone else. I refused.

Frederick was in front of us, making sure the way for us was clear. For some reason, he seemed to be staring at the ground  _very_ intently. What he was looking for, exactly, was anyone's guess. Sully left, going to the barracks I assumed. Virion followed her, going on a tangent about something related to how Sully's armor perfectly accentuates her womanly figure. I had to stifle an outright  _laugh_ at that. The rest of us were simply walking the street, enjoying the sights.

That was, until a random guy near us cried: "Look! The Exalt has come to see us!"

I looked around wildly for a moment before I found her.

Again, expectations blown way outta the water. She wore a tan and white, extravagant robe, that seemed to billow in non-existent wind. Just like a certain blue-haired lord was wont to do. Emmeryn went down the road nearby, flanked by Pegasus Knights. The woman herself was perfection given form. A beautiful, inviting smile, as well as friendly blue eyes observed the crowd with a motherly warmth.

"The Exalt is your ruling monarch, correct?" Robin asked.

"Indeed," Frederick confirmed. "Her name is Lady Emmeryn."

Robin looked around at the crowd, a slightly worried expression on his face. "Is it safe for her to be among commoners like this, unprotected?"

Frederick stared at Robin for a moment, before he seemingly remembered that Robin 'claimed' to have amnesia. "The Exalt is a symbol of peace – one of Ylisse's most prized qualities. Over a thousand years ago, the world was threatened by the fell dragon in an event known as The Schism. The First Exalt led a valiant effort against it, and with the help of the divine dragon, slew the beast. Exalt Emmeryn has stood as an exemplar of peace for her whole life."

I felt a shiver go down my spine at the mention of the 'fell dragon'. I felt my stomach drop when I remembered that the woman I was staring at, in a couple of months at best,  _would be dead_. I pushed it down again. As hard as I could. I refused to break down in front of others like this. I refused. I've dealt with much higher-pressure during college. What was this to that?

At least, that's what I kept telling myself.

Robin seemed to absorb this information like a sponge. "I see…"

"She's also the best big sister anyone could ever ask for!" Lissa added cheerily.

Robin chuckled. "Heh. Yes, I imagine she… is…"

"He has finally figured it out, milord." Frederick said, as Chrom rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"You're… You're both royalty!?" Robin exclaimed.

"They are." Frederick confirmed, eyeing Robin for the  _nth_ time with suspicion. "You say that you know milord's name and not this?"

"B-But you all said you were Shepherds!" Robin said, sounding almost hysterical.

_This is even funnier up close._

"Indeed, we are. We just have a very large and unusual flock." Chrom said, laughing a little to try and placate Robin. "It is not such a big issue…"

"C-Chrom…! I-I mean, Prince Chrom! Forgive me for my imprudence in regards to-"

Chrom held up his hand. "Peace, Robin. Just call me Chrom. Never really been much for formalities."

Robin nodded his head slowly. "Yes, alright… The Prince and Princess, then? That explains why Frederick puts up with so much."

"Indeed. The things I have had to deal with…" Frederick bemoaned.

We all had a good laugh at that, defusing tensions. I felt a little bit of the anxiety I had building up from before ebb away when we did.

Chrom perked up. "Looks like Emm's heading back to the castle." Chrom looked at me and Robin. "Would you two like to meet her?"

The anxiety came back two-fold.

* * *

It became a downward spiral for me mentally from there. It all started when we approached it, and I was nearly blinded by the light reflecting off of it. We entered through the front 'door' of the castle to possibly the most massive and lavish entrance hall I'd ever seen. Massive white pillars stretched all the way to the ceiling, and the hall was lined with armor on display.

_It must be a bitch to keep this place clean._

Felt like my stomach was tying itself into knots once I spotted Emmeryn, and that feeling became ever more pronounced the closer I came to her. She was speaking to another person, a tall man wearing luxurious robes, before she saw Chrom and Lissa approach and quietly excused herself. Behind her stood who I assumed to be Captain Phila. With her startlingly white hair tied up in a small bun, as well as the practical yet still fancy Pegasus Knight armor on, she was… a bit intimidating.

The whole situation was intimidating, so Phila's appearance really didn't make me feel worse than I already did. At least, until I realized she would die too.

I was in the presence of two future dead women.

I just wanted to go to the nearest corner and curl into the fetal position.

Emmeryn spoke first. "Chrom! Lissa! Welcome home. Oh, and good day Frederick. How did you all fare on patrol?"

_The fact that this is so similar to the game is not helping._

"As well as we could – we should not have to worry about bandit attacks for a while." Chrom replied.

"Wonderful! And the people?"

Chrom flinched. He might've been remembering the people we saw butchered on the side of the road. "As safe as they can be. But there will be more. The bandits we faced spoke with a Plegian accent. And… you  _did_ feel the quake, right? And the portals in the sky?"

Emmeryn nodded solemnly. "I did indeed. Captain Phila's scouts reported that they opened up all over Ylisse."

"There are signs they opened all over the continent itself, milady." Captain Phila said. "And as for the bandits, if they crossed over from the Plegian border, I need to apologize. I should have had my Pegasus Knight intercept them long before they made it so far into our heartland."

"There's no need, Phila." Chrom said. "Your duty is here, with the Exalt."

"'Sides, we had plenty of help anyway!" Lissa added cheerfully.

_Ah shit, here we go. Try not to make an absolute ass of yourself in front of literal fucking royalty, boy scout._

"Ah, you speak of your new companions?" Emmeryn said, acknowledging us for the first time.

"These two are Robin and Alex." Chrom introduced us. "Both of them fought alongside us when we drove the bandits out of our land. I've decided to make them both Shepherds."

"It sounds as though Ylisse owes the both of you a debt of gratitude." Emmeryn said, a warm smile adorning her delicate features.

Robin's pale cheeks looked like they were on fire. "Not at all, milady!"

_Robin, I can understand. I, however, am the last person you should say that to. Especially considering what I'm going to allow to happen._

It felt like I was gonna vomit.

"Forgive me, milady, but I must speak."

_Frederick my boy back at it again with the justified, if somewhat annoying, suspicion._

"Robin here claims to have amnesia, but it is just that: a claim. For all we know he could be a brigand himself, or even worse, a Plegian spy." Frederick finished, completely airing out his suspicions for everyone to hear.

Chrom almost recoiled at Frederick's words, and Robin flinched at every word he said. "Frederick!" Chrom nearly shouted.

_Wait, he didn't mention me? I mean, yeah I have evidence and shit, but still…_

My backpack still felt like it weighed a ton. Unfortunately, I forgot my spear on the battlefield in front of the fort, so I was essentially weaponless at that time.

"Yet you have allowed him into the castle, Chrom. Does this man have your trust?" Emmeryn asked.

"Of course!" Chrom coughed into his fist. "I mean, yes. Robin has had plenty of chances to attack us, and yet he hasn't. Beyond that, he has fought and saved Ylissean lives. They both have." I perked up at the mention of 'both'. "They have earned my trust."

"Indeed… Well then, Robin. If you have Chrom's trust, then you have mine as well."

Robin bowed. "Milady."

_Shit, should I be doing that? I think I should be doing that. I didn't do it. Why didn't I do it!? GRAGRH._

"Regardless, I thank you for your prudence as ever, Frederick. Truly Chrom and Lissa are blessed to have such a guardian watch over them. I do hope they have made this clear from time to time…" Emmeryn trailed off, an unasked question in her words.

"They have, on occasion, shown something that is akin to gratitude, yes." Frederick confirmed. "However, we have other more pressing matters to attend to. These creatures that have fallen out of the portals must be addressed."

Emmeryn nodded. "Indeed, they must. Chrom, we are about to host a council. I was hoping you could join us."

"Of course."

"Welp, that looks like our cue!" I yelped - the first time I'd even made a noise since before entering the castle, I realized – as an unnaturally strong arm hooked around mine and pulled me in the direction of the grand doors. "C'mon Robin! Alex! I'm gonna show you a cool place!"

"B-But what about-!" Robin tried to say, being pulled along with me.

"Oh, they'll be in there for  _hours_. This is gonna be much more fun then waiting around!" Lissa interrupted.

If only it was fun. If only.

* * *

"Aaand here we are, the Shepherds Garrison!" Lissa held her arms out extravagantly, like she was presenting something absolutely amazing. "Go ahead and make yourselves at home!"

The Shepherd's Garrison… Well, it had character. It was a giant building, all things considered. Not unlike the fort we hid in back near Southtown. Unlike most of the stone and wood used in the construction of literally almost everything else in Ylisstol, most of the garrison was a washed-out grey color, but still just as well-maintained as the rest of the city that I had seen so far. All in all, it was a pretty impressive building.

Not as impressive as the castle of  _blinding light_ that is Castle Ylisse, or the giant tower I'd seen from the distance, but pretty far up there.

I looked at Robin to see him in rather stunned silence, as he was for most of our time in Ylisstol. Since I needed something to get my mind off of everything, I attempted to strike up a conversation. "H-Hey, Robin-"

I didn't know at the time why I stuttered. It was merely a prelude to what was to come.

I was interrupted by a drill-haired blonde bounding out of the woodwork itself to directly in front of Lissa, holding her hands in her own. "Lissa, my treasure! Are you all right!? I've been on pins and needles since you have left!"

_Maribelle._

Lissa giggled. "Oh, hey Maribelle!"

"'Oh hey' yourself!" Maribelle huffed. "I've sprouted fourteen grey hairs since you've left! I shall be completely white long before my time!"

"Aw, c'mon, Mari! You worry too much! I can handle a battle or two… Although I could go without all the bugs and bear barbecue…" Lissa visibly shivered. " _Never again…!_ "

… _Something's wrong. I can't tell what, but something is wrong._

That sense of impending doom wasn't even alleviated by a person who was clearly Vaike entering the scene. "Hey, squirt!" The spiky blond-haired man said, his voice deep, not unlike the first guy I  _murdered_. "Where's Chrom? I bet you all had a hard time taking out those brigands without ol' Teach's axe to cover you!"

He laughed heartily to himself, his bare chest on proud display.

"Oh?" Lissa arched an eyebrow and smirked. "So 'Teach' is it? I didn't know you could teach people to lack wits, Vaike!"

_I need to get away from here. Now._

I felt sweat bead on my forehead for no other reason than  _because_. I heard a few tentative footsteps to my left and saw Sumia in all of her clumsy glory. Medium length greyish-brown hair, as well as the somewhat less fancy looking Pegasus Knight armor made me notice it was her instantly.

"Excuse me, but when might we see the captain?" She asked politely.

I was not paying attention anymore. Not really. All I was focused on was trying to find a suitable way out of the conversation, and away from all the people.

"Poor Sumia, she has simply been beside herself with worry and concern…" Maribelle said dramatically. "Her eyes focused on the horizon all day during training. She may have earned a few less bruises if she were blindfolded and her legs were tied together…"

"W-What!? I-I mean of course I was worried for the captain! He's the prince, after all!" Sumia rebutted poorly.

For some reason, my breathing picked up. It felt like I couldn't calm down. I couldn't understand why everything was going so slowly, so  _painfully_ slow.

Vaike regarded us with a raised brow. "So, who're these strangers?"

"No one's stranger than you, Vaike." Lissa quipped. "But these two are Robin and Alex! Chrom found them both around Southtown. He made them into Shepherds!"

"He did, eh? Tell me, can they do…  _this!?_ "

Vaike let out the biggest belch I'd ever heard. It was a shame I couldn't appreciate it.

"Heh, I'm sure I have much to learn in the belching arts, 'Teach'. Either way, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintances."

_I need to get out. I need out. I need to get out right now. I NEED TO GET OUT._

"U-Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you all. U-Um, Lissa, can I ask you something?" I stuttered out that sentence like I was asking her out to prom in freshman year, Christ.

"Hmm? Yeah, what- Hey, are you okay?" Lissa replied, concerned.

"A-Ah, I'm fine, I was just wondering, u-uh, where do we sleep?" I asked, attempting to keep my breakfast in my stomach.

"Yeah, they're down that hallway. Just pick a room without a name next to it and it'll be yours. But seriously, is something-?"

"Just told you, n-nothing is wrong." I interrupted her, doing a poor job at assuaging her apparent worries. I was getting stares like you wouldn't  _believe_. "I… I'll just be going then-"

I slammed directly into something huge and metallic.

"Ah, sorry about that. I should've warned you." A normal voice apologized, from somewhere in front of me.

_Kellam. I completely forgot about you._

"N-No worries." I replied, making sure my nose wasn't broken. "I'll, uh, just be going now!"

Once I was out of sight, I practically  _sprinted_ down the hallway. Door after door went past me in a blur. I felt like I was going through time itself. It took forever, but I finally found an unmarked door, and nearly tore it off its hinges getting it open. I slammed it shut once I was inside, my backpack falling to the ground with a dull 'thump'.

A sparse, but homely room greeted me. A single window to the outside bathed it in an almost ethereal glow. A bed, a desk with a chair, doors to what I assumed was a closet, as well as a conspicuous wooden bucket was all that was in the room.

I stood there, shivering, sweating, and breathing rapidly in front of the door for what felt like centuries.

I only regained control of myself once I felt something well up at the back of my throat. I barely made it to the bucket in the room in time.

I vomited straight into the bucket. All of my breakfast, gone in what felt like the most drawn out, torturous moment of my entire life up to that point. I did this until all that came up was a small amount of bile, and I fell backwards, onto the floor. Sweat cascaded down my face and almost every other part of me, and my hands and legs shivered considerably. It felt like I was spinning, Like I was feeling the rotation of the planet itself.

With a herculean amount of effort, I sat up.

"…A-Are you serious, Alexander." I growled to myself. "Y-You're gonna have a panic attack over something… something as trivial and stupid as this!?" I got up, feeling like my own blood was boiling in my veins. "So what, you've killed two people. You've almost  _died_. What about everyone else who was with you, huh? What about them? They didn't show any fear. They didn't balk at the thought of killing people who were  _raping_ and  _pillaging_  a defenseless town! All of them have done all of that and  _more._  And what do you do, huh? You sit there and throw up into a fucking bucket and  _cry_."

I walked unsteadily to the desk in the room, cursing myself with every feeble step I made. I slammed my fists down on it as hard as I could, hearing the creak of the wood as I did so.

"You've always wanted something like this to happen, you  _despicable piece of shit_!" I shouted. "You should be  _grateful_ you have this chance! You should be  _happy_ you even have the chance to make yourself useful, you disgusting waste of oxygen! So, tell me, Alex, my old friend, you old fucking fatass…!"

I grabbed the edge of the table, feeling hot tears stream down my face.

"Why. Aren't. You.  _HAPPY!?_ "

I flipped the desk. It went sideways with a surprising amount of force, crashing to the ground but surprisingly enough not breaking. I felt myself stumble backwards.

"W-Why aren't you… Why am I not… happy…?" I felt my back hit the corner of the wall. "Oh… Oh God, what am I… even doing…  _Oh God…!_ "

I slumped to the ground, curling into the fetal position. I was there for what felt like hours, crying and mumbling incoherent gibberish.

It had finally all caught up with me. My 'displacement' into Awakening, the battles and people I'd killed, the visceral horror that was the Risen, the knowledge that I was most likely allowing two kind-hearted  _real_ people to die for the sake of the future, everything. I tried my best to shut it down, but it doesn't go away. It never does. It will always be there. Waiting for a chance to get out. I was just lucky enough that it happened while I was alone.

_You aren't cut out for this life, boy scout._

"…Alex?"

I wasn't alone for long.

After a few moments, I successfully dredged up the will to look up and see Lissa standing in the doorway to the room I chose, concern written all over her expression. I gave a half-hearted, extremely fake smile.

"Oh… Hey, Lissa. Just a… bit of a mess right now." I mumbled.

"Yeah…" Lissa looked around at the room, eyeing the flipped-over desk and the conspicuous wooden bucket. She took one look into that and promptly turned away, looking a little green.

I coughed, feeling phlegm in the back of my throat. "So… do you need something?"

"Uh, yeah!" Lissa said, her expression brightening as she apparently decided on what she came there for. "Noticed you were all down in the dumps earlier, so I decided to ask you to come with me, right?" She leaned in closely. "I found this  _amazing_ pond just outside of the city right before we left! Since you're, ya know, all new here and all, I thought it would be a good idea and a good excuse to show you around! Wanna come with?"

I put aside the question on how exactly she found my room I actually considered her proposal seriously. I wouldn't usually. In fact, it'd probably be one of the things I'd consider doing the least. But, being in that emotionally vulnerable state that I was, I almost said yes instantly. The thought of travelling a big city, exploring a pond of all things just outside of it, doing so with someone akin to the little sister I'd lost… A wrenching nostalgia filled my chest.

It reminded me of home, again.

After a few seconds of consideration, I nodded. "All… All right. I'm down."

"Great!" Lissa cheered. "Here, let me help you up!"

Lissa held her hand out to me. I stared at it for a moment, still a little mentally drained from my… outburst. It still felt nice though.

I grabbed her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while, but I wanted to make absolutely certain I got this chapter right. I'm also well on my way to completing chapter 4, too. Hell, I basically have the entire first act of this fic planned now, which is a really good thing. First act might even be done by the end of this summer.
> 
> This might even be the first fic I ever complete. Imagine that.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Blood, Sweat, and Tears

After our little trip, Lissa and I split up and went our separate ways. I had to admit, I felt a lot better than I did before I went with her. As soon as I was with my own thoughts again, however, my mood immediately took another downward spiral. It was not nearly as bad as the last time, and I managed it better than I did before.

Chrom arrived at the garrison a few hours later. I was fixing up my room; cleaning the bucket I threw up in and spread out the contents of my backpack along the room. Basically, just making it a bit more homely. It was nothing like my room back home, but it was a start. I entered the main corridor and saw Chrom enter.

We were not going to Regna Ferox. At least, not yet. I didn't catch most of the conversation, but I did hear Chrom complain about the 'council' essentially stonewalling him from going himself. Turns out, they were scared shitless what with the Risen and the bandit attacks going on and were trying to keep him in one place. It was understandable, but his frustration was palpable.

This essentially meant that I had an abundance of free time. An abundance of free time I was sure to lose if Frederick had anything to say about it. That's why, literally the day after we arrived, I sought a certain someone out.

"Intriguing. You wish for me to investigate if you are able to cast magical energies?" Miriel said, regarding me with what I assumed was an 'intrigued' expression, although it just looked blank to me with an added shine to her eyeglasses.

We were in an office of some sort, but I assumed it was just what she had turned her room into. Bookshelves predictably lined all of the walls, filled to bursting with books. I sat in front of a desk, with Miriel herself just in front of me. Her desk was filled with shiny scientific instruments; vials and bottles filled with colorful liquid, pages with incomprehensible equations and circles as well as several open books opened to a precise page. Despite the array of items on display in front of me, all of it seemed intentional, like all of it was put into a certain space for a purpose, and not just haphazardly strung about. Her entire office was like that.

Miriel herself looked exactly as I envisioned in my head. She was a pale woman with straight red hair, and sharp facial features. She wore that frankly  _ridiculous_ looking hat as well as a black robe. Her eyes, however, were the most notable feature. I felt like they stared right into my soul, analyzed what she could do with it, and was probably trying to figure out what it could be else it could be useful for.

She was decently intimidating. Reminded me of a schoolteacher I had back in elementary school. I was still determined to do this, anyway.

_Still not giving up that dream of being a Magic Knight, are you?_

I nodded, deliberately avoiding her gaze and playing with my hands. "Yeah. It's just something I'm curious about, honestly. Asked around and everyone pointed to you, so… here I am." I answered awkwardly.

I always sucked at meeting new people.

Miriel just sat there and stared at me for several moments while I fidgeted in my seat uncomfortably. Finally, she spoke. "I have heard bizarre details about your homeland from Sir Frederick. I am to believe that this country that you hail from, the 'United States of America', does not have any institution in which the manipulation of magic is taught?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Not a one. Although you can just call it the U.S. Don't understand why everyone is obsessed with calling it by its full name."

"Fascinating… A human from a hitherto unknown country with no form of magical instruction wishes to know if he can cast magic. I assume with the evidence given that you have no idea how magic functions, correct?" She asked, not coming across as patronizing despite what she said.

"Well… that's kinda what I said when I first got here, right?"

"A variation of sorts. You queried whether I could discern your magical potential. I asked for confirmation that you have no grasp on how magic works." She began tinkering with a beaker, swirling around the contents while she still spoke to me. "Magic is an extremely complex form of study that takes years of practice and repetition to become adept at, and many years more to become a master at. It is unusual for someone of your age to begin studying its many intricacies, but not completely unheard of. It could take years for you to cast a basic spell."

This didn't sound right to me. I leaned forward, eyes narrowing. "I saw Robin shoot lightning out of his fingers, and he has amnesia. That tome… what are the tomes used for, then?"

"Robin is an impossibly interesting individual, one whom I hope to study extensively in the future." Miriel replied, a finger trailing along the page of a book with what looked like text below a circle of some sort. "He is an anomaly. An outlier. It would be unwise to compare yourself to him on the basis of magic. As for tomes, they are, in essentiality, short cuts. A person can memorize how to hurl a ball of fire at someone else. However, the mechanics and equations used for such an effect requires an eidetic memory, and this problem becomes worse the more complex a spell becomes. That is where tomes come in. They help a mage recall how a spell works, thus not only making it easier to cast, it improves casting time by a significant margin. However, you would still need to study the spell and memorize its mechanics. You cannot grab a tome and start throwing fire and lightning like a god of destruction. Do you now understand why I am quizzing you? This is, as I have said before, a deep and complex area of study. You would need to dedicate yourself to it completely."

Her words felt like an icy wave washing over me. In the game you just equipped a tome and that character would just start shooting shit. I'd had no problem seeing this world as my new reality, and not a video game. Magic was one of the last areas where I still, unfortunately, saw it as a game. That was completely annihilated by Miriel. I decided to push forward anyway. It would be nice to know whether I should even try or not.

"…I understand." I said slowly. "It's a bit hard to wrap my dumbass head around, but I think I get it. I still wanna know if I can, whatever I need to do for that."

"Very well. I will need a sample of your blood." Miriel replied simply, dropping what she was doing and placing all of her instruments where they were exactly as before.

_…Oh God please no. Not needles._

"U-Uh." I stammered out. "Why?"

"Magical energies surround us." Miriel began, readying what looked like a small knife. "Your body is a vessel; it is filled with magical energy. A simple blood test should illuminate to us on how much potential you truly hold." She held her hand out to me. "Give me your hand."

* * *

I sat outside of Miriel's office awkwardly, like I was just outside of the principal's office back in elementary school. Had to take the chair out with me, because there wasn't one outside beforehand. Luckily, most of the Shepherds were out and about training, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I sat there for well over an hour.

I was beginning to get worried. Just what exactly was she doing with my blood? I felt the sting of the cut on my finger and glanced at the doorway nervously again. It was nerve-wracking just sitting there, waiting. It felt like I was waiting for the results of an STD test or some shit.

I was just about to go into the room myself and ask if anything was wrong when the door opened itself. I got up, eager to hear what the hell had taken her so long. When I saw the look Miriel gave me, however, my expression fell.

She stared at me for a few moments before I got the courage to ask. "…So? What did you find out?"

Miriel regarded me less like a person and more like a lab specimen. It took her one more moment before she even said anything. "…None."

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "Uh, none what? Are you okay?"

"You have absolutely zero magic potential." Miriel elaborated, taking on a pose that made it seem like she should be wearing a lab coat. "I looked for every telltale sign of passive magical energy within your blood, but it was void of any of them. It is as if you were born and grew up in an area where there were no ambient magical energies present. I, nor any other scholar of arcane arts, has ever come across something so…  _fascinating_."

_…Oh._

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. It felt like I'd just been punched in the gut, in all honesty. Zero potential in magic. I could never cast a single spell, nor use anything related to magic. I did not understand how staves functioned, but I would never use them either.

In other words, I was a complete  _muggle_.

"…Oh." I sighed audibly. "That's… well, that's great I guess."

"Indeed. Such a discovery is  _unprecedented_. Truthfully, this 'U.S' you claim to hail from must be a completely mundane place; a place completely devoid of any and all magical energies. This would explain why there are no magical institutions…" Miriel began pacing around like a maniac. "Indeed, this could be the signal of many things. Ylissean, and by extension many different cultures known to us, have been nurtured and based around the use of magic in day-to-day life. To see a culture completely devoid of such a factor…"

"You probably won't see it for a long while." I interjected dejectedly. "I don't think I'm going back any time soon."

"Regardless, this is all so very fascinating…" Miriel continued. "It was to my understanding, and that of a great many arcane scholars, that magical energies surrounded us across the world. Ergo, they were wrong, or you are not of this world."

I seized up as she said that.

"However, the chance of the latter being the answer is slim at best." Miriel continued, much to my relief. "It is more likely that our understanding of the world is incomplete… I must rectify this at once!"

Without even a goodbye, Miriel practically  _sprinted_  back into her office, slamming the door behind her with a loud 'bang!'. She left me in the middle of the hallway, with only a single, lonely chair to keep me company.

In hindsight, it made sense. Why would I suddenly become a magical powerhouse once I was teleported here? Clearly, that would be too much to ask for. I felt like slamming my head into the wall for keeping my hopes up for so long. If what little I had learned about the magic of this world was true, then even  _if_ I had the potential in me, I would not be able to achieve it fast enough to use it to any great effect.

In the end, it was just me, as I am. Nothing had changed about me when I arrived in Ylisse. I had to make myself change with my own two hands. With my own will.

My face settled into a determined expression, while my hands clenched into fists. I walked down the hallway. It was time to talk to Frederick.

* * *

A lot of people made a big deal about Frederick's  _ridiculous_ training habits back home. Often, I would see characters avoid training with him or training using a regimen designed by him at every opportunity. I decided, in my infinite wisdom, to disregard any doubts I may have had, as well as the doubts of others. I couldn't use magic; I had to become the best in what skills and advantages I  _did_ have.

However, even a week into the training regimen Frederick designed for me, I was still not used to it.

Sweat cascaded down my face and dripped off my chin. My legs felt like they were on fire, like someone had poured molten iron directly into my veins. My chest felt like it was about to break open, like there was a chestburster from Alien inside of me.

Despite this, however, I forced myself into a sprint to reach the minimum distance Frederick allowed. Once I was past said line, I immediately collapsed.

"I am impressed with your endurance." Frederick remarked, his plate armor clanking as he walked up to my shivering form. "When we first started, you could not  _walk_ this far. And now you are running. It is still far from where you need to be, but it is a start."

"F-f- _fuck_ -!" I gasped, before retching. Luckily, I decided not to eat anything before running. I made that mistake the first time. It was not pretty.

"Once you are at the point where you no longer have an adverse reaction to running for this long, we will have you wear armor as you run." Frederick instructed, lifting me to my feet. My legs felt like gelatin. "That is for later. For now, we will begin the next item on the agenda."

I fought the monumental urge to groan and just fall to the floor to die. I fought it with all my might.

* * *

"Fuck my  _life!_ " I shouted as I fell to the ground, the wooden sword in my hand clattering to the ground.

"Oh, get up ya big baby!" Sully laughed, looking completely unaffected by my assault. "Barely even hit ya."

"That was a glancing blow at best, Alex." Frederick chided. "Get up and try again."

That is essentially what it boiled down to, wasn't it? Getting up and trying again. That is all that Frederick's training entailed. During Frederick's Fanatical Fitness Hour, there were no winners. You just did a little better each time. It was like Dark Souls, and the only boss was Ornstein and Smough.

I grit my teeth, my breath hissing through the small spaces between. I grabbed the handle of the practice sword and got to my feet again.

We were in a small training area, just outside the barracks. The floor was dirt, and several training dummies lined the far side of the place. It was devoid of everyone but the three of us.

"C'mon! Go all out! I'll heal you if it gets too hard!" Lissa shouted from the sidelines.

Four of us.

The armor I was wearing clanked like a motherfucker as I got up. While it was covered in a small amount of dirt, it was still relatively new and shiny. The chest piece and shoulders were well made and sturdy. The armor itself was comfortable to wear and lightweight. Probably for the best considering I was still the equivalent of a wet noodle when it came to moving around in it.

In the end, it looked a lot like the mercenary armor from the game, with a hint of realism added in, such as more armor plating where necessary. It restricted my movement a bit, but I'd rather be that than dead. I could feel myself getting at least a little stronger with every passing day. It wasn't like I was getting nowhere, at least.

"Fuckin' alright then." I muttered, readying my wooden sword. "If I'm gonna go down, might as well go down with dignity."

"Heh, see!" Sully laughed again, readying her own sword. "That's the spirit!"

When I charged, it felt like I was in an anime.

Of course, that feeling was immediately dashed as I fell to the ground a couple seconds later with a bruise the size of a grapefruit in my side, and several others all over my body. There was a reason we were using practice wooden swords instead of the real deal. And why Lissa was on standby.

* * *

It felt like I'd been there for a century. I almost couldn't remember what life was like before I was inexplicably transported to outside Southtown. A month of nothing but grueling combat and endurance training. And Frederick made sure that I never grew used to anything for long. Just as he had said, once I was starting to get used to running the  _ludicrous_ distance he demanded of me, he plopped me in armor and off I was sent again. I swear, I felt a slight 'creak' in my knees after doing that.

Then there was the combat training. It was clear to me I was basically becoming the equivalent of a mercenary. I was given a shield, decent armor, and a sword. A basic, if effective, set-up. It was better than becoming a Cavalier, at least. I'm not sure I'd be able to care and maintain a steed. It did mean that I'd have to march on foot wherever we went, but after the hell Frederick put me through, that didn't really scare me all that much anymore.

In the end, I was still nowhere near competent, but at least I wouldn't be annihilated in the first second of a battle.

I began to notice the little things first. A small glance at myself in the mirror. Slightly more toned arms, a shrinking stomach. It wasn't impressive, hell, it'd probably take many more weeks for me to even begin to look fit, but, like Frederick said at the start of my training, it was a start.

"You do look better, by the way." Robin said, turning a page in the book he was reading. "And that armor suits you."

"Oh, Robin," I began, my voice becoming lighter. "Flattery will get you nowhere!" After a quick chuckle, I sat down next to him. "I guess you're right. I  _feel_ better too. I don't think my legs will ever really recover, though."

"Pain is a necessary part of the training process. If you get something wrong, you get back up and do it again. Do that until you get it right." He turned another page, before his red eyes met mine. "You have taken that virtue to heart, at least."

"I am one determined motherfucker when I want to be." I claimed, rubbing my shoulder. "Sometimes to my detriment, but that's whatever. Anyway, what have you been doing for the past month?"

Robin gestured to the book he was reading. "Reading, mostly. Strategy, history, all sorts of topics. Anything I can get my hands on. Heh, Chrom opened the entire royal library to me. Did you know that?"

"He did?" Robin nodded. "Goddamn. He's…  _really_ putting a lotta trust in you, ain't he? I mean, that is a pretty big deal, right?"

"Not as much as I am sure you are thinking, but yes, it is a great show of trust. One I am unsure I deserve." Robin replied.

"Now, don't say that." I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Where the hell'd that come from, anyway? You're our tactician for fuck's sake. One with  _amnesia_ , in a place completely unfamiliar to him. And if there's anything I know about Chrom, it's that he is literally incapable of not helping someone he thinks as a friend. You earned that friendship back at Southtown and that old fort. So cut the self-deprecating shit, alright? Doesn't suit you."

"Uh… Thanks, Alex." Robin said sincerely, smiling. "I… did not expect to hear that, but it was appreciated nonetheless."

I snorted. "Always had friends and family back home coming to me with their problems. Trust me, this is nothing new."

What went unsaid, was while I was good at comforting others, I was horrible at comforting myself. If that was not already obvious.

"You have not spoken much of your family or friends, now that I think about it." Robin thought aloud, but after seeing the grimace on my face, he immediately backpedaled. "I did not mean to pull up any bad memories-"

"You're not, man."

In some ways, that was the problem.

"I mean, I don't have a problem talking about them, if you want?" After a moment, Robin nodded. "Well, there really isn't much to tell. I've got a mom, a dad, and a little sister. Mom was a manager for a… well, let's call it a shop, and my dad was in the army. He'd be gone for years at a time, but he always came back, so… that was good." I swallowed the lump rapidly growing in my throat. "My sister was a little shit, though. Always screeching or screaming… practically attached to her phone… I miss them."

_I should have been a better son and brother when I had the chance._

"…That sounds nice." Robin whispered.

It didn't occur to me until later that Robin wanted to know what it was like to have a family. He didn't even ask what a phone was. Good thing, too. I wasn't in any mood to go to my room and grab the long since dead paperweight from my desk.

We sat in comfortable silence for a while after that.

* * *

"Ya know, I think most of my body is just one big bruise. Sully, you have officially turned me into a fucking blood bag."

"If you want, I could stop holdin' back and just go all out, then you'd  _really_ wish you'd stopped complaining so gods damned much." Sully replied smarmily, twirling her sword around.

I grumbled something incoherent as the light of Lissa's healing staff washed over me, healing my severed veins. Unfortunately, healing staves couldn't replace blood. So, while it wouldn't hurt, I'd still look like an overripe tomato underneath my clothes or armor.

_Life is torment._

"There, all patched up and ready to go!" Lissa chirped. "Unless you feel like you wanna go again? I'll still be here!"

"Well, I mean, Stahl would be a pretty good training partner, right?" I suggested hopefully. "Or Robin, too! Either one'd be fine, really!"

"Hey, are you saying I'm not good enough?" Sully growled as she stopped swinging her sword.

"No. Alex just believes that the other Shepherds might go easier on him, or that they will be easier to defeat than you." Frederick guessed correctly, making me want to just fall on my face and die. "Unfortunately for him, that is not the case. I would make sure of it."

"Not sure if that's worse or better, but I really wanna go again, now." Sully said, readying her sword. "Get up, Alex."

I sighed. I knew this is what I had to do. I  _knew_ it. And yet, I still found myself mouthing off when exhausted and openly complaining when not. I knew that this was really the only way, and yet my dumbass 21st century lazy ass brain kept trying to get out of doing anything physical. I didn't want that. I was sick of it. I got up. My muscles, while fully healed, were exhausted and screamed for me to stop. I didn't.

"Huh," Sully stared me down. "I expected ya to cry some more."

"I could," I replied, readying myself. "Or I could suck it up and keep going.'

"See, when you get like that, I actually think I respect you." Sully replied. "Hopefully ya won't make me think twice when I beat ya again."

I breathed out shakily, before turning to Lissa with what I assumed to be the most resigned facial expression I could muster. "Lissa, please get the healing staff ready. I might die if you don't."

"I seriously don't think it's  _that_ serious." Lissa said. "But be careful, okay?"

I nodded, before turning back to Sully. I was ready and willing to be emasculated for the umpteenth time in just over a month.

"Ah, there you all are." Matt Merc- I mean, Chrom said from one of the many entrances into the barracks. "Thought I might find all of you here."

"Hey, Captain." Sully waved. "Just breaking in the new recruit still."

"If Sully isn't kicking my shit in, I'm running, and she's usually still back here. It'd be pretty hard to find us anywhere else." I snarked, earning a glare from Frederick.

_How about you learn to shut your damn mouth, asshole._

Chrom chuckled as Frederick snapped back to attention. "We are here, milord. What do you require of us?"

After a quick cough, Chrom continued. "The council and Emmeryn have  _finally_ allowed me to mobilize the Shepherds. We're going to Regna Ferox tomorrow to request aid and soldiers to help protect our borders and our people."

Yeah, Ylisse only had a small contingent of soldiers, mostly used for guarding towns and cities. Very few of them had seen any real combat, apparently. I heard this from Robin, who was… a little displeased after finding it out. But, considering the Risen who were still skulking around the countryside and the near-constant bandit attacks, Ylissean forces were spread incredibly thin. In the end, it would probably make us look weak, but it would be better than being dead.

It was more explanation than the game ever gave.

"Oh… Oh, we're going to Regna Ferox!?" Lissa squeaked, pulling the sleeves of her dress closer. "But it's always so cold up there, even in summer! Can't we send, like, a messenger, or something?"

_I like cold weather, actually._

"We could." Chrom agreed. "But since we have so few soldiers, they'd have to go alone, or with minimal protection. Besides, if a member of Ylissean royalty were to give the request personally, it could be seen as a sign of sincerity." Chrom glanced at Lissa. "Hey, remember what I said? Hardship builds character! This'll be a good experience for you."

Lissa huffed, folding her arms in front of her chest. "You say that now, but when we're freezing our toes off, you'll be all like 'Wow, Lissa, I should have listened to your infinite wisdom!'."

"Don't worry, we'll buy warmer clothes in Auraegis." Chrom smiled. "Or we could go as fast as possible. We'd probably make it in half the time if we just skipped Auraegis and went straight to Bellator."

"Don't you  _dare_ ," Lissa hissed. "If we don't stop and get warmer clothes, I'll put frogs in your boots."

I was smiling a little watching the siblings interact, but I frowned when Auraegis and Bellator were mentioned. They sounded like places or cities, but if they were in the game, I didn't remember them being mentioned. It was disconcerting, but not unforeseen. It was only a matter of time before my memory was challenged like this.

_Only one way to find out what it is, boy scout._

"Alright, I'm a bit lost." I said. "Bellator? Auraegis? What're those?"

"Auraegis is the northernmost city in Ylisse." Frederick helpfully informed me. "It was built to protect the heartlands from the northern barbarians several centuries after the Schism. Bellator is the eastern capitol of Regna Ferox." Frederick turned to Chrom. "When do we intend to depart, milord?"

_Okay, those were definitely not in the game._

"Early tomorrow morning." Chrom replied. "We still need to gather supplies and wagons for the trip."

"I will see to it that is attended to at once, milord." Frederick bowed. "Who else shall be accompanying you?"

"I'll be sure to pick them out tomorrow, Frederick. For now, we should focus on this."

And that was it. After just over a month of downtime, the story was getting back on track. Unless my memory was wrong, and I was not discounting the fact that that could be true, we would head off north to the eastern capitol of Regna Ferox, encountering a roving band of Risen and fighting a small skirmish with overcautious border guards. I still wasn't even half-decent with a weapon, and Frederick had said I was clunky and prone to being surprised easily. Hell, I still hadn't even learned how to read yet. It would all have to be attended to later, of course. I did remember something else about the trip to Regna Ferox. There was the paralogues that took place there.

_Wait… the Paralogues!_

It was never really given when exactly they took place, because you could do them at any time. I idly wondered when they would happen, if at all.

I tried not to think about what would happen if none of them did.

* * *

"Vaike."

"Yeah?"

"Where the hell's your axe?"

Vaike gave me a look like I was the dumbest entity on the planet. "What're you talking about, Alex? Teach never forgets his axe! He just… misplaces it sometimes."

"Vaike, fuck's sake, it's not around your belt, you're not  _holding it_. Where is it, then?" I said, holding my arms out to my sides as if the verdant countryside around us would give the answer. A moment later, my expression morphed into one of disgust. "Oh, please, God, don't tell me you shoved it up your-"

"Vaike. You left this crude blunt instrument within your quarters." Miriel said, coming up from behind us. I nearly jumped while Vaike only turned around, chuckling at me.

"Heh, thanks Miriel. Woulda been a real crapshow if ol' Teach went into battle without his trusty axe!" Vaike gave her a thumbs up.

Miriel appeared unimpressed. "See to it that you do not neglect to take it with you in the future, lest I graft it to your hands permanently." She turned back and entered one of the carts we were bringing with us up north.

Vaike's face visibly paled at Miriel's words, which made it hard for me to contain outright laughter. He shoved me, forcing me to step back a few steps, but that only made it  _funnier_.

Vaike was a funny guy, in all honesty. I thought so, at least. Despite the fact that he  _did_ have incredible muscles that could easily turn me into an armored pretzel, I just couldn't find it in me to take him seriously.

Almost every single currently active Shepherd except Maribelle, who was on some important business back in Ylisstol, and Ricken, who I hadn't even seen yet, was there. We were all getting ready for our trip to the north. We were travelling light, with only a few horse-drawn carts. Auraegis was only around a week or two away, and that is where we would be getting the bulk of our supplies, as well as most of our warm clothes.

It was interesting that we would apparently need several layers of clothing for when we travelled to Regna Ferox's eastern capitol, considering that it was roughly the middle of summer, as far as I could tell.

"Alright!" Chrom said, standing majestically in front of us all. "Is everyone here?"

"W-Wait! I'm coming!"

_Christ on a cracker!_

Chrom looked quizzically at the green-haired man running towards us. "Stahl?"

I gave Vaike a look. "You forgot about Stahl, didn't you?"

"What? The Vaike forgets nothing!" Vaike claimed.

"He forgot." Lissa agreed. "He forgot to tell Stahl where we were going. I can't believe it…"

"Hey! I told ya the Vaike never forgets! I… just don't always remember, is all."

"Are you serious? You'd forget your own name if you didn't say it constantly!" Lissa said. "At least you didn't forget your axe like last time."

"But I- Yeah! The Vaike would never lose his trusty axe!" Vaike lied. "And what was that about 'last time'? I only didn't bring it that one time! …Okay, maybe two times! But those were during training sessions, and those don't count. Anyway, glad ya could make, Stahl, ol' buddy!"

"I almost didn't make it!" Stahl said. It looked like he was about to start openly weeping. "I didn't even get to eat breakfast before I left! There was bacon, and sausage, and muffins… Oh Gods, I can feel my stomach rumbling…"

_If you don't stop talking about it, my stomach might start rumbling too. So please stop. Thanks._

"I forget how interesting the people you gather are, Chrom." Robin remarked.

"Heh. Yes. I wouldn't have it any other way." Chrom replied.

* * *

The game always made it seem like the first few chapters happened within a few days. In fact, I distinctly remembered Chrom and the gang arriving in Ylisstol and leaving for Regna Ferox on the same day in-game. Here? Just over a month. It did make sense that things would be moving slower, but that in no way made me feel better.

_You're complaining again, boy scout._

I grumbled as I sent those irritating thoughts to the back of my mind. I was out marching alongside one of the carts we'd brought with us. There was a rotation to it, and I just so happened to be one of the unlucky ones to be marching on foot. In armor. With a shield in my left hand and a sword sheathed on my hip.

Learning how to put all that shit on was a story all its own.

" _Gah! Motherfuck- Fuck!_ " I shouted in pain as my face met cold, unforgiving steel. I stumbled back, nearly being run over by a horse-drawn cart before regaining my balance and glaring in front of me.

_Kellam again._

"Ah, sorry. I've been in front of you this entire time, just in case you wanted to know." The dark-haired armored man said quietly. That voice did not suit him.

"How the hell did I even run into you, Kellam?" I asked, beginning to march again. "We're  _walking_ for fuck's sake. Unless you did it on purpose."

"I'm trying to pace myself," Kellam responded passively, "If I don't, I'll get exhausted before we rotate again."

"So, it was me who was going too fast, then. Fantastic." I sighed, before a thought occurred. "Kellam… How long have you been marching?"

"Since we've started, I think."

My jaw nearly hit the floor. "Kellam, dude, we've been marching for  _three days!_  And You've been marching in  _plate armor_  for that long!?"

Kellam shrugged. "I've tried getting the captain's attention, but he either doesn't hear me or thinks the trees are trying to talk to him. Besides, we make camp before I collapse."

"Christ, man… That's rough. I'm sorry for running into you."

"That's nice of you to say. Thanks." Kellam said. I couldn't get a good look at his face, but I could've sworn he was smiling slightly.

"Yeah, no probl-" I stopped, staring into the distance. "What the hell…?"

Smoke rose into the sky eerily, just down the road we were travelling.

* * *

It was a bloodbath.

Several covered wagons were burning right on the road. About ten or eleven in total. They were never in the same place; each was directly in front of the other. Each one had a small amount of damage that couldn't have been caused by the flames that engulfed them. Arrows peppered one, while another looked as if someone with incredible strength just started punching out the wheels.

The bodies were the worst part. I was not exaggerating when I said it was a bloodbath. Men, women, children, all of them laid out on the ground with varying degrees of injuries. It wasn't like last time, where all the bodies were gathered to the side of the road, but that just made it more disturbing. One man still held an axe in his stone-cold grip, chest cut open. A woman was slashed across the back looking like she was trying to get away.

Once more, it was the stuff of nightmares. And this time they were all fresh.

The people, or things, that did this were not far away.

Chrom ordered us to look for survivors. Frederick did not protest, and a good portion of us were sifting through broken and burning wreckage, looking for anyone who might've survived.

I nearly vomited again for the hundredth time since I'd arrived in Ylisse. I was able to keep my lunch down successfully, but just barely.

"…Oh God…!" I choked out, flipping over a piece of wood to reveal another body. This one's leg had been cut open, and the blood on the ground was still wet.

The body jerked, its eyes opening so far and so fast I thought its eyelids would peel off.

_He's still alive_.

" _Heee… Heeelp…_ " He breathed out, arm shaking as he reached out to me. " _Please…_ "

"Oh  _shit!_ " I shouted. " _Chrom! Lissa! I found one! He's alive!_ "

They were there within moments. Lissa gasped seeing the man but was only frozen for a moment before she put her staff into action. The man moaned and groaned, but his wound was healed. He was still suffering from a lack of blood, though. Chrom knelt, putting a comforting hand on the man's shoulder. "Be still, friend." He said softly. "You're safe now."

The man had a tenuous grasp on consciousness at best, but without the pain of his leg wound, he looked more terrified than ever. "No… No, not safe! They'll be back! I need to get out of here! Now!"

Chrom kept a comforting grip on the man. "Be calm. It is going to be alright. Who will be back? What happened here?"

"M-Monsters! From the forest!" The man screamed. "T-They're still there! They'll be upon us within moments and tear us apart like they did with Susannah and Aunt Talidia and-!"

A scream came from the forest that surrounded us, bringing back to mind that horrible night within the fort. I stood up, fumbling a little but eventually unsheathing my sword. The forest seemed a little more sinister now.

_This isn't right._

I didn't remember Chapter 2 being like this. Hell, they didn't encounter Risen again until that battle on the bridge. Why were they there!?

Another scream, this one louder than the other one, echoed throughout the forest. Chrom looked around, his eyes narrowed. He unsheathed Falchion, pointing the tip of the blade towards the border of the forest. Lissa looked around wildly, before instinctively backing behind Chrom. Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates, and her face was pale.

_And once more, the forest is filled with stars._

At first, all I could see were their eyes. They still glowed with animosity towards all things, just as before. They weren't even trying to hide this time. They just walked through the forest towards us. Purple corpses, moaning and groaning like the zombies back home. Small rays of sunshine beamed over them as they walked towards us, revealing more and more to us. All they wore was tattered and rotting clothes and rusted and dented armor. Some of them didn't even hold weapons. Fresh blood still stained the hands of some of them.

A single memory of a Risen nearly killing me back at the fort over a month ago came to the forefront of my mind. My breathing quickened audibly.

"Lissa." Chrom whispered. "Stay behind us."

_Can I get behind you too?_

The first Risen entered the open, followed by another. And another. The one in the front twitched slightly, before it reared its head back.

_Oh God please no not again not again not AGAIN._

It  _roared_. An ungodly sound. It felt like it was rending the very air itself with its decaying vocal cords and lungs. If I looked closely enough, I could see small flecks of black blood forcing their way out of its mouth.

They were upon us within moments. It seemed like they were done playing games and charged with little organization or strategy. They had numbers, and they knew it. In the distance, I could hear more unearthly screams and the clashing of swords and axes, as well as the sound of fireballs being lobbed around.

The others were already fighting.

Chrom cut down the first one with Falchion with little effort, nearly bisecting the Risen that charged him. Two more came from each side, but at different speeds. It made it all the easier for him to cut them down. Their bodies and blood evaporated into the air.

I was not nearly so impressive.

The first Risen to charge me made me panic. It held an old axe up high, ready to cleave my head in two. Gritting my teeth, my expression the pure distillation of  _fear_ , I held up my shield. The axe hit my shield with an almost deafening 'clang!', and I felt the force nearly break my arm in the process.

I shouted or screamed. I couldn't tell which. I swung my sword into the Risen's side, feeling the  _resistance_  as it cut through rotted muscle and flesh. Black fluid oozed out of the wound. I didn't wait. I shouted again, this time aiming a lot higher. I knew this was stupid. Unfortunately, I wasn't thinking of much. Luckily, the blade connected. My sword hit the Risen right in the side of the head. It wasn't strong enough to completely cut through it, but it was enough to kill as the red embers it had in place of eyes faded. I didn't need to get my sword loose, as the Risen evaporated into black smoke.

It wasn't bad. Unfortunately for me, I was so focused on the fact that I killed one that I almost failed to notice that there was another coming at me from the side. I noticed it just in time to get my shield up once more.

The Risen – this one didn't even have much of a face left, I noted oddly – didn't even bother using a weapon. It tried to full body tackle me. It launched its decaying body straight at me, slamming headfirst into my shield. I saw the shield bend and crack.

I didn't feel it, but I heard the sound of my forearm breaking. I fell to the ground with a yelp. The Risen, on the other hand, was completely undeterred. It tried to crawl onto me.

Memories of the last time this happened flooded my mind. I did not hesitate to stab it directly through the hole it had for a face with my good arm.

I got up as best as I could, but even then, I knew something was wrong with my left arm. If the snapping sound didn't clue me in, my falling back to the ground when I put pressure on it surely did.

I looked to Chrom to see him cut down another Risen with complete and utter  _ease_.

_The saddest thing is, is that you'll probably never be like that._

There weren't many left. Chrom had made sure of that. While I had two Risen down, I could tell quite a few fell to him. It was hard to tell just  _how_ many, but it could have been well over a dozen. The last Risen charged at him with reckless abandon, uncaring of the many that fell before it. Chrom dispatched it just as easily as he did the others. Its black blood coated the ground for just a moment before turning into smoke.

"…I think that's the last of them."

"Please…!" I coughed. "Please don't say that. You'll jinx us."

Chrom looked at me. "Jinx? What's- Gods! Are you okay, Alex!?"

"I… I think I broke my arm." I replied shakily, wobbling a bit on my feet. "Once the adrenaline wears off, I'm gonna be in a world of hurt, aren't I?"

"Not if I can help it!" Lissa said, standing up. "As long as I'm here, none of you guys are gonna be hurt for long!"

"Well, I appreciate that, Lissa, but I think we need to check up on the others." I said, walking towards them to the best of my abilities. "And what about that guy?"

We all looked down at the man on the ground. His eyes were closed but he was still breathing.

"I've got him." Chrom said, picking him up and hauling him over his shoulders like he weighed nothing. "Lissa, help Alex. We'll go check up on the others."

We weaved through a few broken wagons. Lissa helped me walk, but it wasn't long before I was biting my lip in an attempt not to scream. The adrenaline was wearing off.

We found the others just outside the row of destroyed wagons. They looked like they had taken a beating, a few of them were bleeding, but otherwise they seemed fine.

A lot better off than me, surely.

_If you listen closely, I think you can hear the sound of my broken bones crunching together._

"Robin! Frederick! Everyone! Are you all alright?" Chrom said loudly, getting everyone's attention. There were a few grunts of acknowledgement, before Robin and Frederick stepped forward. He gently put the man down.

Robin looked none the worse for wear, although it looked like something had tried to pry through Frederick's armor. Just from looking at it I could tell that it would be a  _bitch_  to repair. Then my arm was jostled slightly, and my mind nearly went white with agony. It was a surprise I didn't start screaming.

"We are all alive, milord." Frederick reported.

"Barely," Robin muttered. "They didn't get to the carts, thankfully, but healing some of these injuries will take time. Especially considering we only have one cleric."

"Yeah, don't I fucking know  _that_!" I nearly shouted.

"Okay, okay! I'll get started! Just calm down, okay Alex! Stay calm." Lissa shushed me.

"Y-Yes, ma'am…" I murmured, as the glow of Lissa's healing staff covered my arm.

"I do not understand," Robin said. "These Risen… From the reports you received, Frederick, they have always been disorganized, correct?"

"Indeed." Frederick confirmed. "As far as our scouts have reported, the Risen travel in roving bands, destroying anything they come across."

"Robin…" Chrom looked at Robin with pleading eyes. "Are you suggesting…?"

"This has all of the hallmarks of a trap." Robin said grimly. "Not the most cunning, or effective, but that is my belief. They left all this wreckage on the road, hoping someone would investigate, and when we were all spread out, they attacked."

"Gods…" Chrom held a hand to his forehead.

Frederick stepped forward. "Milord, we need to make for Bellator as soon as possible. We now have only more reason to do so."

Chrom took a deep breath. "Yes, Frederick, you're right. Once everybody is travel ready, we'll move."

The next few hours were a complete blur to me. It was much harder to heal broken bones than bruises, apparently. However, two thoughts refused to go away. They were disturbing ones.

The first was still the shock at having my knowledge of the game blown back into my face. Frustration mixed with alarm filled me with that thought. I had tried my absolute  _best_ making sure I'd changed nothing. This change had no explanation. I couldn't think of a single thing that I could have done that could have led to it.

The second thought was connected to the first, and both of them made me want to hide somewhere and never show my face again. Like Robin said, it did feel like a trap. But somehow, some part of me felt like it was a trap deliberately laid out for  _us alone_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Alex has graduated from effectively useless to just above useless. Pray for him. It won't help but it will be appreciated nonetheless.
> 
> When imagining the Risen screaming, just think of that one CoD Zombies shout. It will either ruin this for you or make it infinitely better.
> 
> There is one thing I've always found to be strange when it comes to Awakening and a good majority of fanfics within it: Where are all the cities? The settlements? A few get mentioned, like Themis, but you never see them. At best they may be mentioned once or twice but quickly forgotten about afterwards. Hell, I don't think the capitol of Plegia or Regna Ferox has a canon name. Parts of this chapter were an attempt to flesh out the world a bit more. Kudos to those who realize what 'Auraegis' is named after.
> 
> Next week (hopefully), you'll get another chapter. Hopefully I'll be able to hold this weekly upload schedule!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Feroxi Diplomacy

Auraegis was impressive. It looked more like a fortress than a city, with massive walls encapsulating the entirety of the it, and only a few fields to surround it. The entire fortress-city was atop a hill, looking down on wide open plains. All in all, it was easy to see how the city was used to prevent the northern barbarians from invading Ylisse's heartlands. I wondered how the massive wall farther north factored into that.

Auraegis was a lot less fancy than Ylisstol. While Ylisstol had walls, and most of the buildings were made of stone with sparse usage of wood, Auraegis took that aesthetic and turned it up to eleven. The city was completely uniform, with every building built in a distinct pattern. Since Auraegis was the northernmost city, it saw the most trade with Regna Ferox, as shown by the large amount of commerce going around in the town square. Or, it would have, if any of them were actually happening. Many of the apparent trading places and vendors were closed.

We were to stay in Auraegis for a few days to repair our equipment and better heal our wounds, as well as stock up on warm clothes and other supplies. It was not difficult, even considering the state of the city.

It still felt like something was off with my left arm, but Lissa had assured me she had done all she could. Thankfully, it was a small, niggling pain. Nothing that would completely incapacitate me.

We dropped the man we saved off at the nearest chapel, where the priest in charge kindly took him in. 'Naga rewards the generous' and all that stuff.

I wasn't sure what to think of whatever they called Naga's religion. Naga  _did_ exist for sure, and while not exactly a true god, she was possibly the closest thing to one.

I pushed those thoughts down like so many others and moved on.

"Ah, Alex! There you are," said a smooth voice behind me.

" _Christ-!_ " I all but screamed, dropping the crate I was trying to take out of one of the carts. I tried, unsuccessfully, to grab it in midair, but it smashed to the ground. Luckily, it didn't break, but the sound it made did not fill me with confidence that the contents didn't suffer the same fate. I picked the crate back up gingerly, and looked behind me, seeing a familiar blue-haired prince. "Chrom?"

"Sorry for scaring you," Chrom apologized. "I just realized you and I have never had time to really talk to one another."

I opened my mouth but paused and closed it. He was right. Beyond those first few days and several times throughout that last month and a half, we never really had a one-on-one conversation.

"I mean, fair enough. Although, I have to say, if that was on purpose, you're gonna need a different approach next time." I narrowed my eyes jokingly. "I now know how you work."

"I'm sure I'll be able to come up with something next time that will  _really_ get to you, heh." Chrom chuckled.

In the little area that the Shepherds 'rented' out to store our carts, there were a few areas that allowed for a couple of people to sit around and have a chat. Before long, we both grabbed a chair and sat down.

"So, you wanted to talk to me?" I said leaning forward on my chair. "I'm not exactly the most interesting person in the world, ya know."

"I just remembered something recently, actually." Chrom said, adjusting his position. "Back at the fort a month ago, you said something about Helm's Deep?"

"…Holy shit, you actually remembered." I said slowly. "I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting that."

"I just thought that it would be an interesting story if it was so similar to our situation back then." Chrom remarked. "And since I know so little about you, I think it would be a good place to start."

"Well, fair enough. Where do I begin?" I held a hand to my chin. "I'll probably need to give you some context first, since you'll be lost without it…"

* * *

"…and then the Uruk-hai fled into the forest and were torn apart by angry tree-people." I laughed. "The Battle of Helm's Deep was always my favorite part of the Lord of the Rings, but that just made it fantastic. Here they were, fighting a battle for Saruman, and the minute things go sideways they flee into the forest and  _still_ get destroyed!"

"They weren't the smartest of creatures, were they? They fled into a forest that just appeared out of nowhere?"

"Oh, yeah they weren't the smartest. They were mostly brute force if I remember correctly, although I think a few humans fought alongside them. They were let go after the keep itself was fixed though." I explained to the best of my abilities.

It had been a long time since I'd ever even thought about the Lord of the Rings, let alone any other stories I'd left behind. It was a nice distraction from my thoughts, and Chrom seemed to be enjoying it, despite my subpar storytelling skills.

"That was… an  _incredible_  story!" Chrom said excitedly. "I've always been fond of reading stories like that! It's a shame you don't have a copy with you, though. I would have loved to read it."

"Heh… yeah. You can see why I said it back then though, right? Trapped in a fortress, repelling the forces of evil, and then, just as things look their bleakest, in comes the literal cavalry to save the day." I said. "It's almost storybook."

"I suppose it is, isn't it? It was a small skirmish, but if you think of it like that, it makes it seem all the grander." Chrom agreed.

"Don't worry, I'll be sure to write down our accolades one day. I'll put down you kicking down a massive door like a maniac, too. I'll even give you a nickname! 'Chrom Door-Kicker'."

"Gods, that's just embarrassing..." Chrom groaned. "If the history books actually do give me a name like that, I might just start rolling in my grave."

"Hey, man, by the time that's happening we'll probably be dust. Don't need to worry about it now anyway." I assuaged, leaning back and taking a deep breath. "Thank you for this, by the way. I haven't talked about stuff like that in a really long time. I honestly didn't expect you to remember what I said."

"I consider you a friend, Alex. Of course I would remember it." Chrom replied sincerely.

"You… consider me a friend?" I asked, slightly shocked.

"Why would I not?" Chrom asked back. "I realize we haven't spoken much since you joined, but I consider everyone in the Shepherds to be a friend. Including you. I wouldn't trade my time here for anything."

I looked at Chrom for a few seconds, honestly taken aback. I hadn't expected that at all. I could tell he was completely sincere about it, too. I'd never had someone say to me what Chrom said. And, honestly, I did not think I deserved it.

_Especially because you're going to let Emmeryn die, ain't that right boy scout?_

I suppressed a grimace. I still had time. I didn't have to worry about that for a good long while. It was better to enjoy what time I had.

"I-I-" I stuttered, before regaining my composure. "Thank you, Chrom."

"You're welcome, Alex." Chrom smiled. "Now, I better get back to it before Frederick throws a hissy fit."

The image of Frederick throwing a temper tantrum at not being able to find Chrom made me snort and chuckle. "Christ, yeah. If you don't, his head might explode. And we don't want that, huh?"

I still hadn't completed my training yet, after all.

And then an image of Yoda Frederick entered my mind, and I had to restrain an outright giggle fit.

* * *

While Auraegis was impressive, it also didn't have a lot going on in it at the time. Trade with Regna Ferox had been slowing for a while, and the city was starting to feel the effects of that. Luckily, we were going to head out the next day to the border walls, probably have to deal with Raimi, and then head straight for the capitol. Well, eastern capitol. I still had trouble with that.

This did mean, however, that I was running out of things to do. After my exercises and small training sessions were over with, I'd either just continue to do more exercises so I wouldn't get bored or talk with somebody. Anything was better than being left alone with my thoughts, I had found out.

"Hmm… An interesting move." Virion hummed, moving a pegasus knight in a position I was woefully unprepared for.

" _Christ on a bicycle…_ " I muttered pitifully, watching as my plan goes down the drain along with my hopes and dreams.

"You have fascinating mannerisms, my friend!" Virion remarked politely.

"Says the guy who speaks in flirts." I grumbled miserably, moving a piece only to have it crushed beneath the Rosannean's forces. " _Fuck…_ "

"Ah, you think I am mocking you. You are very cynical it would seem. Fear not, it was merely an observation! Truthfully, I'm glad I can have someone who is not entirely different from me around camp. We may originate from different countries, but we both are foreigners."

I barked a laugh. "That's more true than you know, man."

The game we were playing was some sort of demonic hybrid of RISK and Chess, with pieces that corresponded to different units, like a foot soldier, a wyvern rider, a pegasus knight, and a cavalier. All in all, it was actually rather complicated, and learning how to play it from someone like Virion was a bit of a struggle. In the end, no matter how good at the game I could possibly get, I doubt I would ever beat the purple-haired archer.

He was absolutely  _ruthless_.

"And with that, I have won." Virion claimed, as my forces were utterly decimated, with minimal casualties on his side.

"Yeah, yeah, you won. Congratulations. I've literally played this game twice. Such an accomplishment. Much wow." I deadpanned, leaning back and looking at the darkening sky. "I love being utterly destroyed at board games."

Virion completely brushed off my comments as he cleaned up the table. "My, but you do have such a strange way of speaking." He commented once he was done. "And such interesting ticks as well. Truly, this U.S. you arrived here from must be incredibly different from Ylisse!"

I furrowed my brow. "Are you sure you're not mocking me? It really feels like you're mocking me."

"My friend, if I were to mock you, you would know it as such!" Virion replied, seeming genuinely offended. "I'm merely speaking my mind. I am a master at reading other people, you understand. One has to, if you are –  _were_ , rather – in my position. You are different from other people here based on that alone."

I liked Virion. I really did. But, whether intentionally or not, he was getting dangerously close to striking a nerve.

"So, you're a master at reading others, huh? Tell me, then. How am I so different from the other Shepherds?"

"Very well." Virion acquiesced. "You carry yourself lowly, with your shoulders slouched. You make yourself seem smaller, and thus, less noticeable. You don't act like someone of noble birth, but you are at ease with those who are of royalty and nobility, as if you were one yourself. When you are frustrated or anxious, you tend to not look people in the eye. These are a mismatch of traits one would not find in Ylisse, or indeed, even my homeland. It automatically has you stand out in my mind."

I couldn't move. It felt like my entire body seized up.

"None of these are negative. I cannot stress this enough." Virion continued. "In a way, they define who you are as a person without any spoken words. I understand what it is like to be in a country different from your own, and I realize I may have touched upon raw nerves. For that, I apologize."

A part of me wanted to get angry, but for some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to be. Maybe I was just irritable from losing to him in a game I had little experience in, even if it was only natural that I did. I decided to let it go. It was not worth getting so upset over.

Besides, could I even say he was wrong?

"…Well, damn. I guess you are pretty good at reading people." I said quietly.

"Ah ha! It is nice for someone else to recognize my many talents! These are merely the tip of my abilities, mind you. After all, I am myself!"

"Yeah, yeah, Virion, Archest of Archers, Savior of Ylisse, all-around legend, and the father of Grima's children." I said in the most deadpan voice I could manage.

"Why thank you, my friend! It is nice of you to- w-wait. F-Father of Grima's children." He stated, stuttering.

I laughed like a madman at his expression. I got a jab in, at least. It would have to do.

* * *

_Hey, you. Finally awake? You were trying to cross the Feroxi border, right? Walked right into that border patrol ambush. Same as us, and that blue-haired Lord over there._

I wasn't making Skyrim references for no reason. A single day after we left Auraegis and the temperature lowered dramatically. The day after we left – if I had to guess - it was a cool sixty degrees. The next, it was around forty-five. Just three days after leaving Auraegis, it was almost below  _freezing_. It was a good thing we got those winter clothes while we could, or else we would have been freezing our asses off.

" _Achoo!_ " Lissa sneezed before sniffling. "T-This is the worst…!" She complained. "I  _hate_ the cold."

I snorted. "It ain't so bad. I actually like it."

"You would enjoy something like this, wouldn't you? You always looked like the cold type to me…"

"…What does that even mean?"

The cart we were in jostled slightly, causing me to hit the back of my head on the wall of it. I hissed a curse, while Lissa snickered at my misfortune.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, fuzzball." I retorted, looking out of the back of the cart at the snow that was falling down. I breathed out of mouth and saw the mist it created. "It is cold, though. Like, I was expecting a little chill, but this just seems so  _excessive_."

"F-Ferox is always like this." Lissa chattered. "Just n-nothing but snow and ice and cold all year."

I stopped for a second, the gears in my head audibly turning. "…How do these guys grow food?"

Before Lissa had the chance to answer my question, the cart ground to a halt. The fabric covering the front of the cart swished open, revealing Stahl. His face was flush from the cold.

"Hey, we're here." He said.

"The Longfort, right?" I asked.

Stahl nodded. "Yeah. Come out and see it for yourself. I think it looks pretty impressive."

"A glowing recommendation from the hungry man. Well, I'm not missing this." I said, nearly losing all of my warm clothes in the process of getting up. I picked them all back up as best as I could. At least I didn't look like Lissa. She looked less like a person and more like a cloth mummy with a face.

I crawled out of the cart, my feet landing in a thin layer of snow on the ground. I rounded the side of the cart and looked up.

My jaw promptly met the floor.

A wall unlike any I'd seen in person stretched from the west to the east, obscuring the horizon. It reached far into the sky; taller than most buildings I'd seen in the world so far. In front of us stood a gigantic port cullis, with what looked like buildings on the top of it. I assumed they were used to house the soldiers that manned the absolutely massive fort, and perhaps a gatehouse for raising and lowering the port cullis at will. I was reminded of the Great Wall of China, or maybe Hadrian's Wall. Only in its prime, without the weathering of centuries upon it going unchecked.

I stared at it for a good long while, just marveling at the feat of engineering in front of me.

"Yeah, like I said, pretty impressive, right?" Stahl asked, walking up beside me.

I grunted. "That's one way of putting it."

"I-Is it eben colder out h-here!?" Lissa whined, climbing out of the cart. "I-I can't feel my libs!"

"Are they gonna let us in any time soon?" I queried.

"Eh, they should." Stahl answered, shrugging. "I really hope they do soon. I'm starving."

"I wonder why I'm not surprised."

_If I'm right, things should go sideways relatively soon… Please don't let this fucking change…_

"Diplomacy is not my strong suit, but I'll be sure to do my best." I heard Chrom say from nearby. I looked to his direction to see him approach the gate. "Remember everyone: your actions reflect all of Ylisse."

_Ah shit, here we go again._

* * *

Yeah, shit went to hell pretty quick after that.

Overly cautious border guards ahoy. The instant they saw us they must have been preparing archers, because the moment Chrom approached the massive port cullis, he had over a dozen arrows pointed in his direction. After a few heated words with who I assumed was Raimi, those arrows promptly flew at Chrom. Personally, I wouldn't have beeen surprised, given what I'd seen of the man in action so far, if he just started swinging Falchion around and deflecting arrows midair. Sumia came out of nowhere and saved Chrom from a potential moment of awesomeness. She was riding the Pegasus she had calmed down earlier in the day.

Speaking about said Pegasus…

* * *

" _Christ! The hell…!?" I shouted, looking at the abomination in front of me._

_It was a Pegasus. In the flesh. A myth given life. I almost couldn't stop looking at it. It just looked so unnatural._

_It looked like a regular white horse, only it had two bird wings protruding out of its sides which would flap a little every now and then. It made me feel uncomfortable._

" _Oh, fuck this. It's too early for mindfucks, thank you. Good night."_

* * *

And thus, my first time seeing a Pegasus up close ended as quickly as it began. Of course, I only assumed that it was the same one Sumia eventually nursed back to health, but to be fair, I had the sequential order of the game on my side.

Not that that had helped me so far.

As soon as the battle was about to break out, I was sent to guard the carts from any stragglers who would try to somehow damage them. Several others like Stahl and Virion were told to do so as well at Robin's orders. While Virion could at least pepper the enemy with arrows, Stahl and I were basically just stuck there, waiting for someone stupid enough to attack a handful of carts all the way in the back of the people that were  _actually_ fighting.

Also, we were to avoid casualties. Those were Chrom's orders and exact words. Doing that was a bit difficult with weapons that were designed from the ground up to kill, but not impossible. Unfortunately, for a noob like myself, it  _was_ basically impossible. It was probably the reason Robin didn't 'deploy' me in that battle.

It stung a bit, but I could understand the reasoning. Besides, it pulled a lot of anxiety off my chest. If I killed someone who was basically doing their job, and not someone who was raping and pillaging villages, I might've just cracked.

I could still hear, and see a little bit, of the battle going on.

The clashing and clanging of blade, the shouts and screams of friend and foe alike, and the sound of fire and lightning cutting through the air raised a hellish cacophony that was difficult to ignore. The lights from the battlefield rose into the darkening cloudy sky, as small snowflakes fell to the ground.

A horribly picturesque scene.

With my sword sheathed and my new shield leaning against the side of a cart, my hands were free to try and be warmed. I could see my breath as I blew on them.

My breathing stopped once I heard the sound of armored footsteps through the snow from nearby, as well as the light of torch fire. I turned, peaking around the side of my cart to see a group of Feroxi soldiers marching through the snow towards us. Two men in light armor with swords, around five men in what I could only describe as armored robes –  _myrmidons_  – and, lastly, a giant of a man wearing full plate armor, complete with a helmet.

_Well, it's a good thing they sent you, the rookiest of rookies, to guard the carts, didn't they?_

In the end, there was really only one thing to say in that situation.

" _Everyone, guys coming up from our flank!_ " I shouted, grabbing my shield and unsheathing my sword, feeling a little bit like a badass even though I hadn't done anything yet. " _Stahl, Virion, over here!_ "

The effect of my shouting was immediate. Confirming that there were people around, and that they were found out, two of the men holding torches ran up to our carts, attempting to set them on fire.

_They're trying to keep us from running away._

"Aha! I do not think so!" Virion said, as an arrow sailed through the air and found itself in one of the men's legs. He shouted in pain, falling to the ground, his torch extinguishing in the rapidly reddening snow.

The second man, however, kept going, as one of the myrmidons came upon Virion's position. I could see Stahl coming in on his horse, but he wouldn't be in time to stop the pyromaniac with a torch.

So, unless Kellam was skulking around somewhere, I'd have to take him on.

_May my accomplishments be written into song someday. Jesus._

Luckily, he was gunning towards the cart I just so happened to be closest to, so I was able to intercept him before he got close enough to burn it to ash. Once I did, sword drawn and pointing at him, the Feroxi Soldier growled, stepping back and brandishing a blade of his own.

"Plegian hound!" He spat. "Yer not gettin' away from us even if ya want to!"

My heart pounded in my chest, yet I still spoke. "Okay, first of all, not a Plegian. Secondly –  _woah, shit!_ "

I held up my shield just in time to block a blow from him. It was strong, but not as strong as a Risen charging with all its strength into you, so I weathered it well enough. I still gritted my teeth as the blow connected though.

_Remember, avoid casualties. Go for the legs…_

That  _definitely_  made things a bit difficult.

I swung my sword, aiming low. It felt like I nicked him across the leg, and he hissed in pain. But he backed up a bit, watching me with wary eyes. After a brief respite, he charged again, his sword held high for a downward slash. I raised my shield to meet it, like a fool, when he did something unexpected.

He performed a feint.

_You're too clunky._

I felt the searing pain travel across my stomach. Blood –  _my blood_  – spilled to the ground, staining the white snow red. It was not a deep cut, and I would've likely been fine with just a small amount of healing, but it was enough for an opening. With my guard down, the soldier raised his blade, ready to decapitate me.

I shouted, no longer caring where my sword went. I dropped all pretense of order and just swung wildly, shouting like a madman. I didn't know how many times I may have slashed at him, but eventually my blade connected with his side, cutting deep into him. He screamed, dropping his torch and sword as I wrenched my sword from him painfully. He fell to the ground, looking at me with frightened eyes.

All I could see was my own breath in the cold, dark air, and the man who hurt me. I breathed hard and raised my sword up to stab him. To kill him.

I stopped just as I was about to do it. I looked the man in the eyes and my sword arm locked. I looked at my raised sword, covered in the man's blood, and then back down at him, his hands covering the hole I made in his side. The snow turned red as blood flowed freely from the wound.

He was incapacitated.

He was beaten.

There was no reason to murder him.

Why did I almost do so?

We were told to 'avoid casualties'. The untold caveat being shit happens and sometimes people die in combat, even if you didn't want them to. I was about to do so to someone who was effectively innocent.

The fact that I did scared me badly.

Shakily, with blood still on it, I sheathed my sword and looked around.

The battle was in our favor. The other soldier still laid on the ground with an arrow sticking out of his leg. Three of the five myrmidons were down for the count, courtesy of Stahl and a suddenly there Kellam. The armored man, as well as the remaining myrmidons, stood back to back, watching us. We were not without our injuries. Virion was the only one of us not at least slightly injured. Stahl had multiple cuts around his leg, and Kellam looked to be limping, but clearly the odds were in our favor.

"Everyone, stand down!"

I breathed a sigh of relief as those orders were barked. Thank fuck.

A short-haired woman in plate armor who I assumed was Raimi marched towards us, Chrom and Frederick beside her.

"Miss!" The man in the plate armor exclaimed. "Are these not-?"

"These are no brigands." Raimi said. "No Plegian marauder could fight half as well as Prince Chrom." She looked around at the incapacitated Feroxi soldiers that littered the snowy ground. "…Indeed, if even your token caravan guard could do this, we would not have stood a chance if we hadn't straightened this out sooner."

"Either way, I'm glad we did." Chrom replied. "Turns out I'm not so bad at diplomacy after all, right Frederick?"

" _Feroxi_  diplomacy, milord." Frederick confirmed.

The wounded were quickly rounded up. The man who I had injured looked really bad when I saw him last, and I prayed I didn't just murder someone who really did do nothing wrong except follow orders.

I didn't go to sleep for a long time after that. We camped just outside the gate to Regna Ferox and were to head towards the capitol in the morning since it was already dark out. I stood outside the tent, looking up at the now clear sky. The cold wind blew across my face, and my breath came out in a steady mist. And yet, I just stood there and calmly looked out at the sky.

At least it was very pretty.

* * *

There were a few casualties, all on the Feroxi's side. Only a handful of soldiers, which I thought impressive. I wasn't surprised that none of the Feroxi that traveled with us seemed to hold a grudge. Or if they did, they didn't outwardly express it. The excuse I heard was that they knew what they were getting into. Conflict was a way of life for the Feroxi. Even in misunderstandings such as the one at the gate people died. It was simply a fact of life, and they moved on.

I never figured out if the guy I had wounded was one of the few that died. I liked to think he lived, but there was no way to be certain.

The travel time to Bellator was not overtly long. Just another week and we would be there, and the plot would get rolling once more. Unfortunately, reality had other plans.

"Oh, God, not again…!" I hissed, looking at the smoke that rose into the sky.

Sully, who was nearby, grunted. "Looks like someone's havin' a party. Wager we'll be dealing with  _that_ soon."

She was not wrong. Once we got closer to the source of the smoke, we saw a village burning to the ground. This time, however, there were no Risen. The battle within was still on, and it was man against man. The village was being raided by bandits.

"Brigands, milord. And many of them. The village will not last long at this rate." Frederick reported stiffly.

"Damned bandits!" Raimi growled, the grip on her spear tightening. "Is it not enough that we have to deal with attacks at our borders? Now we are attacked from within!" Raimi turned to Chrom. "Milord, I realize it may be improper of me to ask, but-"

"Say no more, Raimi." Chrom silenced her. "I will not sit idly by as innocent people are preyed upon."

Raimi bowed. No small feat in that armor she was wearing. "Thank you, milord."

I said nothing. There was no need to. In my mind, however, I was coming to terms with the fact that I was definitely about to kill people again. I prepared myself. Taking deep breaths. All of the things to keep myself calm. These people were willingly attacking a village, not guarding a wall. They were  _evil_. Some people out there deserved to have a sword shoved up their ass.

"Robin?" Chrom called, and the robed tactician nodded.

"It seems, from what I can see, that the bandits are entering houses and only burning them down a short while afterwards. I propose we…"

The Shepherds, plus a group of Feroxi soldiers, launched an attack on the besieged village. We entered from two different directions, catching the invading bandits off guard. We cut through their ranks easily, suffering almost no casualties as we went through. I was in one of these groups. Having other people to talk to made the fighting easier.

I did have to take the life of one person while I was with them. He was nobody special. A random bandit, just like the rest of them. We went on like this for a while.

That is, until I got separated from the main group.

A large group of bandits charged at us, and I went a different way from everyone else. I found myself in a small alley, smoke streaming into the sky from the fires that surrounded me, and the now familiar sound of battle all around. I had no direction. No way to go. I was on the verge of panic.

Then I heard a voice. Around the corner of a house

"Now look here, sonny." A coarse voice said menacingly. "You and yer sow of a mother didn't give us none of the stuff we needed ya to give us. Now she's done and gone and you about to join with her. Don struggle too much, y'here? Just a little business!"

"N-No! No please…! Please…!" Another voice, this one high-pitched, sounding like a child.

"Told ya to stop struggling, ya little shit!" The gruff voice shouted.

I looked around it to see a man, Mr. Buff Gruff Bandit Number Seventy-Five, brandishing an axe. He held it up high, ready to slam down on a cowering boy who couldn't have been more than ten or eleven with flecks of blood all over him.

I acted before I even thought. I ran towards the bandit, and just as he turned around to see me, my sword ran him through. Straight through the stomach. His eyes opened wide, glaring at my own. I didn't give him a chance to do anything before I ripped my sword out of him and stabbed him again, this time higher. Once I released him, the bandit let out one last breath, before he fell to the ground like a sack of shit, completely limp.

My breathing was quick and slightly shallow, but I built up the nerve to look down at the boy. His eyes were as wide as dinner plates, alternating between staring at me and the body that was now on the floor.

"Hey," I said breathlessly. "You okay?"

The boy didn't respond. Instead, he started shaking.

Realizing that may have been a stupid thing to ask, I knelt down to his level, but kept my distance. With the battle going on around us, it may have not been the best thing to do, but I needed a distraction from the killing I had been doing. What better way to do that than helping a disturbed child?

"Hey, it's okay. I'm a friend, okay? That bad guy," I pointed to the body. "isn't gonna hurt you anymore. Do you know where your mother and father are?"

The minute I said that, the boy started sniveling. "They… He…"

Realization dawned on me, and I cursed silently.

_Yeah, Alex, way to go. Bandit raid, he's alone. What the fuck did you think was gonna happen?_

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry. That was stupid of me. Let's… I'll get you out of here, alright? We'll get away from all of this." I said. "You just need to follow me closely, okay?"

"…You…" The boy looked at me with wet eyes. "You'll… help me…?"

"Yeah! Like I said, just stay behind me." I replied, standing up.

After a small sniffle, the boy got up, and promptly did as I instructed.

We made our way through the burning village. My priority had changed from attempting to find the group I was with again to protecting the sprog I had picked up in that alleyway and finding a way out of that hellhole. At the time, it seemed like a noble goal. In actuality, it was a bit stupid, considering we were running through a bandit infested ruined town, with me being basically a recruit with decent but still incomplete training, and a terrified and traumatized boy.

We didn't encounter many bandits, but a few stragglers from the main group centered in the town square found their way in our path. I was able to take them out with a combination of attacking them fast and catching them by surprise. I got a few nicks here and there, but otherwise, I made it out of that village without any major injury on my person.

The boy, whose name I did not know, stayed behind me just as I asked. He was completely and utterly silent. It made it easier to get the jump on bandits, but it unnerved me slightly. The constant silence except for my urgings at him to keep moving left way too much time for me to think.

It was a lot easier murdering people than I remembered. I could tell I still didn't like it, but it was definitely easier. I supposed it helped that I was seeing the guys I was killing less like people and more like monsters wearing human skin. On paper, it sounds disturbing, but in practice it helped me quite a bit.

Just before we made it out of the village, I saw several bandits without weapons running and screaming out of the village proper, and into the snowy countryside that surrounded us.

I looked at the fleeing bandits, before breathing a sigh of relief. "Thank fuck… The others must've taken out the leader."

_These bastards are just cowards, really. Running away just as soon as their leader goes down._

The boy was silent.

We marched through the snowy field and found the road we were travelling on before we took on the arduous task of clearing the village. A group of people stood on the road, guarded by Feroxi soldiers. I took a deep breath and approached.

"Alex? That you?" A familiar masculine voice said. "Where in the Gods' name have ya been?"

"Vaike." I greeted the blond-haired man as I got closer. "Been better."

"Can say that again!" Vaike exclaimed. "Look at you! Cuts all over your body! And who's the squirt following you around?"

"A boy an asshole was about to murder in cold blood." I replied grimly. "Once I got separated from you guys, I wandered around for a little while and found him. Took me a bit, but I got us outta that hellhole."

"Damn. That sucks, don't it?" Vaike said wisely. "Captain and that Raimi lady took out those bandits' boss. Or bosses, I mean. Weird guys, too. Even for those bandits. We got all the women and children out and brought 'em here so we could try and put out the fires and crap. We thought we lost ya."

"Yeah, I'd think that too." I said softly. "Think I'll leave this little guy with you and-"

"Jeremi? Jeremi!" A woman from the crowd called. The boy, whose gaze had glazed over as Vaike and I talked, instantly snapped his head to the direction the voice was coming from.

"…Nana?" He whispered.

A young woman with tan skin and black hair broke through the crowd, and wrapped the boy, whose name was apparently Jeremi, into a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh, thank goodness! After I heard they got into your mother's house I thought you were taken or killed or… or… Oh… Oh thank you…!" The woman sobbed, looking at me. "Thank you so much…!"

My heart jumped a bit looking at her hugging Jeremi. I looked away, avoiding her gaze. "Ah… No problem, ma'am."

"…Thank you…" The soft voice of Jeremi said.

That one struck me. I wasn't sure how to deal with the emotions that welled up at Jeremi's words, so a settled for mumbling out a 'you're welcome'.

"I'll… I'll go and see if they need help in the village. You okay here, Vaike?"

"It's nice of ya to worry about Teach, but don't sweat it!" Vaike said exuberantly, pounding his bare chest. "The Vaike has got everything under control!"

"You're not even wearing a shirt, Vaike." I replied, deadpan.

The village was 'saved' but a good portion of the buildings were completely unsalvageable. Even with the combined firefighting capacity of the Shepherds, the men of the village and Feroxi soldiers. In the end, the villagers would have to relocate to a neighboring town. It was only due to our timely arrival that any of the people made it out at all.

With the hectic battle at the border and the ensuing battle at the village now over, we marched on. To Bellator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, Chapter 5 is complete. I'm gonna be honest, not the biggest fan of this chapter. Mostly because it doesn't really advance the plot by much. But the character interactions are nice in my opinion, so it'll stay. It also sets up a little bit for future plot points, so there's that too.
> 
> All in all, a pretty chill chapter to contrast the storm that is brewing. HAHAHAHAHA!
> 
> Just gonna plug here. Go read 'Heavy is The Head' by DestructionDragon360, which stars an AU where Frederick is the crown prince of Ylisse with Chrom and Lissa as his loyal retainers. Basically, the AU I never knew I needed until I read it. And you should read it too. Seriously, go do that. Now. This fic is criminally underrated.
> 
> Second plug is gonna have to go to 'All the World's a Sale' by my good friend Narwhal Lord. It's another SI for Awakening but it's all campy and cheery and everything this fic is not. It's honestly really strange how opposite our fics are, despite the few dark moments in his and the few moments of levity in this.
> 
> And with that, I think I'll call this the end. See you next week (hopefully).


	6. Future Imperfect

_I followed the little ball of light through the endless darkness that surrounded everything. The ground beneath me squelched, fluid soaking through my shoes, but I kept going. To stop would mean going back and going back was not an option. Not for me. Not anymore._

_The light was a curious thing; golden rays shining so brightly, so magnificently, that I was drawn as a moth to flame. It was the only thing that made me feel something. It was the only thing that made me want to be something more._

_There was one problem. I was not going fast enough._

_I felt a knife in my hand, and I began cutting at the claustrophobic armor that seemingly covered every part of me. First, around my stomach. The heavy pieces of scrap metal fell to the wet ground. Next, went the shoulders. They were a bit more difficult, but I managed. The last part was the helmet that covered nearly the entirety of my head. That one was easy. I threw it into the all-encompassing darkness._

_I was moving faster. Without the armor weighing me down, I could finally make it._

_I pushed forward, my hand reaching out slowly, carefully. I was just about to finally have it._

_Everything went wrong. The golden light changed in an instant to a dark blood red. It grew in intensity until I could see the surrounding landscape._

_The ground was completely red with blood. Corpses lined the path I had been walking. Some had been impaled on pikes and left to rot, while others were mutilated beyond any hope of recognition. Their faces were all gone._

_I shrunk back away from the harsh red light, heart thundering in my chest so hard I felt like it would burst open. The red light split into six, outlined by darkness, before they all seemed to focus on me._

_They rose, and I was suddenly made aware of the giant body within the shadows. Wings the size of countries, a head the size of cities, eyes the size of a house. A shrouded carapace for a face that harbored something that looked all too human. It swam through the darkness like a serpent, twisting and bending in impossible directions._

_It let loose an earth-shattering roar. So loud it made the ground itself shake. It was the sound of death itself. It was the sound of madness._

_Six eyes looked down on me, a mouth full of sharp teeth ready to swallow me whole…_

* * *

I woke up gasping, drenched in my own sweat. It was the first dream I'd had since the night after I arrived just outside of Southtown. Sunlight streamed through the covering of the cart, making me wince before I sat up, holding my head. The dream was already fading, but I could still remember six red eyes staring at me. It didn't take a genius to know who that was.

_I hope it was just a dream, and not the big guy himself paying me a visit in my head._

I shook those thoughts away as I got ready. I'd been laying on a cot in one of the carts, getting what sleep I could before we either arrived in Bellator or I was rotated back out. Considering the cart wasn't moving, as well as the talking and footsteps I heard outside, the former was the more likely option. Strapping a few token pieces of armor on, I pulled open the covering on the cart, and leaped off the edge.

We were just outside Bellator.

The walls were tall, the battlements filled to bursting with troops. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought we were captured by bandits. Well, that and the fact that the other Shepherds were out and about with zero sense of hostility. The guards looked exactly how a barbarian would look, with furs covering a good portion of their bodies. The walls themselves also seemed rustic and old, with small cracks here and there.

Also, it wasn't snowing, and the grass moved with the cool wind. In fact, it felt quite pleasant outside. The sky was a clear blue, with not a cloud in it.

I spotted Robin nearby, writing something or other in a book. Me being the awkward bastard I am around a lot of people, even if I knew most of them, I zeroed in on the person I'd talked with the most.

Luckily for my awkward ass, he did most of the work by seeing me approach and greeting me first. "Ah, good afternoon Alex. I take it you had a nice nap?"

"Well, I guess it was alri- Wait, afternoon? How long was I asleep?"

Robin thought for a moment. "Hmm. We went down the mountain pass at around mid-day yesterday, so… I would say you have been asleep for around fourteen hours, give or take."

"Oh God, Frederick is gonna fucking kill me…" I mumbled.

"Luckily for you, he's inside with Chrom and Raimi, busy convincing the guard that yes, we are indeed  _the_  Shepherds."

I grunted. "Sounds like you're getting a bit fed-up with all the suspicion."

"I cannot exactly fault them for being suspicious. From what I have heard, Ferox has been dealing with constant attacks from Plegians disguised as Ylisseans for a long while now. Still, I suppose it is  _mildly_  irritating. Everything would have gone so much faster and we would not have had to spend so many nights in the cold…"

"You complain about the cold but you're always wearing a coat," I pointed out, gesturing to said coat. "Wouldn't that help with that?"

"You would think so, would you not? Logic dictates that it would. And yet, it does not." Robin groaned, pulling his coat closer. "I am just glad we are out of those highlands. Bellator is geologically lower than a good portion of the surrounding area, meaning we have pleasant weather again."

I chuckled, before looking up at the looming battlements of Bellator. "So, we're here."

"Indeed. An impressive place, is it not?"

"Robin, I've seen so many impressive walls in the past few weeks that I'm not even surprised looking at this one."

"I suppose that is true, heh." Robin laughed. "Still, though. All that I have read about Regna Ferox, its history, its people, makes it more fascinating to me." He looked at me. "For instance, did you know they've developed a crop completely resistant to the cold? It can grow in even the most frigid of environments, though it dies once it reaches a certain level of heat."

"No, Robin, I didn't know that. Probably because I can't read."

_And until I find someone willing to teach me, I'm a little fucked in that regard._

"Ah, yes… I sometimes forget that." Robin conceded sheepishly. "Although I have to say, when I mean impressive regarding Bellator, I mean impressive considering there was nothing here only around three-hundred years ago. The first eastern khan pulled together several barbarian tribes and conquered this entire region, and just built a city on top of where his village stood! It's so different from the other two nations on this continent."

"You would know more about that than me." I said, leaning against the closest cart."What about the western khan then?"

One thing you needed to know about Robin: he's a fucking  _nerd_. And for that, I could not be more grateful. It always made our conversations interesting. Well, in my opinion, at least.

"Well, this entire country used to be just a lawless territory," He explained, scribbling something or other in his notebook. "with barbarians and warlords constantly warring with each other for whatever resources they could find. When they inevitably turned their sights on Ylisse and Plegia, the response was immediate. Auraegis was built, and Exalt Adrian commenced the construction of the Longfort. Of course, Ferox captured it once they became united. The western khan was actually the top warlord of that region and challenged the eastern khan to a fight for dominion of the entire territory. The texts I read were difficult after that, but supposedly a tradition was started around it."

I blinked. "Jesus, how much have you read about this place?"

"A lot." Robin replied nonchalantly. "I would like to know the people Ylisse will be allying with, and how I should personally act around them," Robin paused, shrugging."Also because I find it interesting."

"Really? I didn't think of that." I replied, sarcastically. "Next you'll be telling me you're a tactician. And that can't possibly be true, can it?"

"No. Actually, I'm the crown prince of Grannvale. But that is a secret, so don't tell anyone." Robin whispered.

"Don't worry, my liege." I said reverently, bowing. "I would never think to betray your trust like that."

Robin and I tried to keep straight faces, but eventually couldn't help but burst into laughter. It'd been too long since I'd had a conversation like that. It was sorely needed, especially in those times.

We were let into Bellator not long after that, the guard of the city sufficiently placated. The city was different from every other place I'd been to. Auraegis and Ylisstol had their share of messiness, sure, but most of the time they were clean-ish. It was not a stretch to say that Bellator was completely different. Unlike Ylisstol and Auraegis, Bellator's architecture was dominated by wood, with most of the buildings made of timber. Only the most important buildings were made of sturdier stuff. There was little rhyme or reason involved with the construction of any of the buildings, but all of them hugged the ground with a second floor being a rarity.

It looked more like a large village than the cities I'd seen so far.

The people we passed by seemed a little… uninhibited, is the word I would use, but that didn't do them justice. It would have probably pissed them off. We saw a good few fist fights on our way through the streets to the castle. Many of them stopped to look at the strange Ylisseans they'd heard so much about. It made me feel a little uncomfortable, but then again, I was nervous in crowds just in general, so that wasn't saying much.

The 'castle' at the center of Bellator was about what I'd expected. We crested a sharp incline and got a good look at it from afar.

It was big, there was no doubt about that, but it didn't have that typical castle  _vibe_ , if that made any sense. It looked more like a fort than a castle, with a few spires, and many layers of walls, each one seemingly older than the last. It looked like the castle of a final boss in a video game, if I had to make a comparison.

We were going to have a fun time. I could tell.

* * *

We were led inside, with the watchful eye of the barbarian guard along the walls. Our carts were stored, and horses properly taken care of, as well as the one Pegasus we had with us.

I still got a bit weirded out looking at that flappy horse.

The castle had a lot of rooms. Enough to hold the entirety of the Shepherds, apparently. I was led to a small room. Spartan, but not uncomfortable. Reminded me of my room back at the barracks. Just over an hour passed before I heard the news.

It was official; Chrom and a few others would be fighting in the Arena on behalf of the eastern khan, Flavia, so that she would be the reigning khan for about three years. In exchange, Ylisse would get its alliance. It was to happen later that day, in the evening. Thankfully, the western khan was not far away. This meant I had a great deal of free time.

I spent it wandering the city so I wouldn't be left in a room alone for several hours.

Bellator was a little different compared to my first impressions. I got to see a little bit of the city, sure, but not enough to really come to a conclusion on what it was. The first time around, I was with the convoy, going in a straight line towards the Castle. This time, I went wherever I chose.

And I chose to walk the less crowded streets. The ones off the main path.

Bellator was a bit more ramshackle the farther away you got from the main roads. Buildings became a more mishmash of styles, and the roads were cluttered with junk in a few places.

It was a bit more than I'd been used to.

The people themselves were almost as varied as the buildings. Just like on the way in, I saw several people start decking each other in the face from across a dirt road, and one argument got so heated that swords were drawn. And yet, as far as I could see, once any one fight was over, the two (or more) involved would act all buddy-buddy again. As if nothing had happened between them at all.

As if it hadn't been said enough, Ferox was very different from everywhere else I'd been. I wondered what Plegia was like.

In my aimless wanderings, making careful note of where I was going so I didn't get lost in the endless maze that was Bellator, I found one thing that really did surprise me. A bookstore. I couldn't read the shingle, but it did have windows. It was easy to tell with the bookshelves I saw.

Being the curious little bastard I was, I went in.

It felt like I'd walked into a different dimension. Not like last time, though, considering the world behind me didn't suddenly change into a forest again. Unlike most of Bellator, this bookstore was ordered, clean, and decently quiet when compared to the outside world. As expected, the place was lined with filled bookshelves, and a counter. There was a person at the counter, but he looked incredibly hung over, with several opaque brown bottles surrounding him. There was one other person there, though. She was looking intently at a book

Being oblivious myself, I thought it was a good idea to say nothing until I was just behind her.

"Sumia?"

She yelped, the book she was reading falling to the floor as she tottered, wildly flailing her arms around to avoid falling to the ground.

She was unsuccessful and fell to the ground right onto her face cartoonishly.

"S-Shit…" I said, trying my hardest not laugh "I-I'm sorry about that. Need any help there?"

"N-No! I got this…" She carefully got up, grabbing the book that had fallen with her.

"Have to say, didn't expect to see you here. I was just wandering the city myself."

"Well… this is the only place in Bellator that sells books. Just before we left Ylisstol I heard that my favorite serial had a new volume published. I thought I'd find it here, but…" She trailed off, looking at the book in her armored hand longingly.

"No luck, huh?"

She looked down at her feet, shaking her head. She seemed genuinely upset. "No. I did a couple of fortunes on the way to Auraegis, and when I found out the new volume wasn't there, I did the same on our way here and… nothing."

_An upset Sumia is a crime against the universe. I must remedy this AT ONCE. Quickly, distract her from her sadness!_

"Yeah, that is pretty… uh, sad, I guess. What're those serials about anyway?" I asked, with just a hint of awkwardness. Really.

Her mood instantly brightened up. She hugged the book to her chest. "It's about- Oh, well, you'd probably not be interested in the kind of books I read… Robin really wasn't either."

_So I guess that happened._

"Considering I can't read, no book is really one I'd read, technically," I replied, leaning on the one uncovered wall in the entire bookstore. "Seriously, try me. You never know."

Sumia blushed in embarrassment, but she nodded. "W-Well, it's about this normal girl, who is taken in by a Pegasus Herder, right? And they, you know, do a lot of things together and it's just this  _really_ good love story, you know? It may not be to everyone's liking, but I can't help but read them anyway."

I had to parse what she said a bit, but I got the general gist of it. "Ah, a love story then. I might have been interested in that if I could  _read._ "

I was still a bit bitter about that. Whatever power saw fit to pluck me from my world and insert me into this one decided to give me the ability to  _talk_ to seemingly everyone. But  _reading_  shit? It's like the cosmic entity that did it to me was like: 'Nah, mate, that's  _way_  too difficult. Also, I'm gonna make it so you can't use magic because it's funny. Have fun, dickface.'

That assumes that someone did this to me, of course.

_Okay, I may be just bit more than a little bitter._

"You really can't read, Alex? I think I remember Chrom saying you told him about a story from your homeland," Sumia said. "You can speak Common just fine, but you can't read?"

"… _Finally,_ someone else points out how stupid it is! Yeah, I really can't. Ylissean or whatever - Common, right? – just looks like a bunch of lines and squiggles to me." I replied, looking around and taking a random book off a shelf. "See this? Can't read this. I haven't read a single thing since I left home, and it's driving me just a bit insane."

Sumia giggled. "You know, I'm sure Maribelle could teach you if you just asked nicely."

I stopped, my face going blank. "…I could have, couldn't I? Maribelle scares me, though. You're a whole helluva lot more approachable than she is. Think you could teach me instead?"

I wasn't lying. Maribelle was intimidating. On a personal level. I wasn't sure if it was because of the way she carried herself, or the way she talked, but I had difficulty even coming close to her. It was strange. And also infuriating, because based on what I knew of her, she was actually a decent person.

Sumia fidgeted a bit. "I'm not sure how good I'd be at teaching someone to read. I mean, I know we haven't talked a lot, but you obviously saw what happened a little while ago, right? I really don't think I'll be as good as Maribelle would be."

I made a 'pop' sound with my mouth. "To be honest, I've had one conversation more with you than Maribelle," I replied. "And honestly, I'd really rather learn from you. Besides, we share common interests. Have more confidence in yourself.. You'll never know unless you try."

_That's you, boy scout. Filled with pointless platitudes that you'll never follow. At least here it might do something to benefit you instead of just lifting others above you, huh?_

"Well… Alright. I guess I could give it a try."

_Huh, that actually worked._

I sighed in relief. "Oh, thank God. Well, thank  _you_  technically but-" She started giggling. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing." She replied. "It's just, the way you sighed just then reminded me of another friend of mine."

_Cordelia._

That was interesting.

"Well, alright then." I replied awkwardly. "Guess we'll start that whole reading thing when we get back to Ylisstol. Sound good?"

She nodded. "Sounds fine to me!"

"Okay, good." I turned around before the conversation could get anymore stilted and awkward. "See ya later."

I explored the city for a little while after that. Eventually, it got dark out, and the show was gonna start.

* * *

Arena Ferox was ablaze with light and sound. I walked through several groups of people, attempting to find a good place to sit and watch the spectacle that would unfold. I'd given up hope of finding a little corner to sit down in to avoid people, and just tried looking for a free seat.

An arduous task, to be sure.

It was funny. Just earlier I had wandered the city out of a desire to not be alone, and then, just a couple hours later, I was trying my best to avoid people. I was full of little contradictions like that.

The sound of the crowd almost grew deafening as the small group of Shepherds Chrom selected walked out from one side of the Arena. I moved quicker, and eventually found a seat that was decently close to the action. I sat down, trying my best to ignore the tone-deaf people screeching like banshees just to my right. I got a good look at the Arena.

Arena Ferox was towards the back of the castle, and it was huge, of course. It could hold quite a few people, demonstrated by the fact almost every seat was occupied, and that I was sure a good portion of the citizens of Bellator were there. The ground floor was just dirt, with braziers lit on fire going diagonal to each other and parallel to the walls. They cast a yellow light over the Arena proper, a sharp contrast to the moons ethereal blue glow. Across from where I was sitting was a raised platform, on which sat the two khans. I couldn't get a good look at them from where I was sitting, obviously, but I could make out a few features, like Flavia's blonde hair and Basilio's lack of any.

I could barely hear anything over the roar of the crowd. But the other team– the one chosen by the western khan Basilio – walked onto the Arena grounds. A tall man with a beard and shaggy brown hair leaped on to the Arena grounds from the walls that surrounded it.

I jumped a bit when I could hear his deep voice over the crowd. As clear as a spring day.

"People of Regna Ferox! People of Bellator and Pugnator – my fellow countrymen!" He shouted, the crowd instantly going silent. "Today, we honor one of our most ancient traditions! Once more, the east does battle with the west! East-Khan Flavia," Flavia stood up from her seat, waving her hands in the air as the people cheered. "has challenged West-Khan Basilio," The bald man stood up, pounded a fist on his chest once, and then held his fist in the air. "for the dominance of Regna Ferox!"

The crowd roared so loud my ears started ringing. Once it died down a tad, the man continued.

"As tradition has dictated since times of old," He began. "each khan has chosen a champion to represent them! Signifying the east, and standing to my right, we have the prince of the Halidom of Ylisse himself…  _Chrom!_ "

Not expecting the sudden spotlight, but doing a good job at saving face nonetheless, Chrom waved awkwardly as the people cheered. Chrom had taken several people with him; about five people, not including him. Frederick, Robin, Miriel, Vaike, and Stahl stood beside him stalwartly on the arena battlefield.

It would not be wrong to say I wish I was down there. I knew the reason why: I was too inexperienced. These people were all on a different level to me; I'd be crushed within an instant.

It still left a sour taste in my mouth. Just like it did back at the Longfort. I had said I was alright with being a side character, and I had fit into the role well enough. But, in the end, I always wanted more.

I shifted those thoughts away as the announcer continued.

"And to my left, signifying the west, we have a new challenger! Straight from places unknown, we have the masked warrior known only as…  _Marth!_ "

There she stood, in all her glory. Masked Lucina did a good job looking completely unfazed by the attention that was suddenly shifted onto her. The five people who stood beside her were all apparent veterans. One wore the dented armor of a knight and wielded a spear and shield. Another wore the robes of a mage and held a tome in his hand. Two of them were on horseback, one wielding a lance and another brandishing a sword. The last one wore light armor and held a sword in an awkward backward position.

_Thief._

With Chrom and Marth in there, I was completely unworried. I always had a theory that the reason Lucina did this was to both ensure her father's success, and as an indirect way to 'spar' with him again.

Still, the mood was starting to get to me. I leaned forward, heart beating fast in my chest as the announcer kept going.

"You all know how this goes! Whoever destroys the other in combat will let their patron khan become dominant, just as the first east and west khan's armies fought to the last man, so shall you follow in their footsteps!" The announcer started backing up, getting closer to the wall. "Now, I'm sure you all are dirt-tired hearing this old man shout his lungs out. So let's just get on with it!  _Fight!_ "

_Feroxi politics at its finest. Less messy than politics back home, that's for sure._

Both teams instantly went into action, charging each other with weapons at the ready.

Miriel launched a fire ball straight at the enemy team's mage, which he countered with a gust of wind, dissipating the flames. Vaike led a one man assault on the titan who seemed to think the fortress he was wearing was armor, his axe going for the weak points in the iron juggernaut's armor. Frederick and Stahl were on different sides of the main fights, clashing with the two enemy cavaliers. Stahl's sword struck with one, while Frederick's lance nearly sent the other cavalier flying off his horse from sheer force. Robin faced the thief, shooting a ball of lightning, which the thief dodged like an acrobat. He quickly closed the distance between himself and Robin, and just as it looked like Robin would be taken out first, he pulled a sword out of his dark coat, blocking the blow that would have taken him out of commission in a shower of sparks. Effectively dual-wielding a tome and sword, Robin looked just a  _little_ badass.

The main event was only just beginning.

With Falchion already drawn, Chrom pointed it in 'Marth's direction, challenging 'him' one on one. I couldn't hear what he was saying because, you guessed it, the all-consuming voice of everybody around me, but I could imagine the dialogue happening.

Lucina's Parallel Falchion looked like it glowed, even in the perpetual shadow that seemed to follow her everywhere.

I did a double take as Chrom jumped twenty feet into the air. In a move that would make all gymnast's and acrobat's jaws fall to the floor like a rusty anchor, Chrom flipped through the air three times, shooting towards Lucina like an ICBM. Both Falchion's slashed against the other, sparks flying as they struck at each other again and again. Chrom looked like a demigod, flawlessly swinging around the greatsword-sized blade like it was made out of paper. Lucina was no less impressive, repeating Chrom's moves with incredible precision. They moved so fast it looked like they seemed to blur.

It was rather daunting looking at it. And just a little bit humbling. After all, how could I ever be like that? Flipping and spinning and doing cool shit like that with a sword. Hell, Miriel and Robin were throwing magic around like it was confetti and champagne at a New Year's party.

What was I compared to them?

I honestly felt the determination I so proudly told Robin about back in Ylisstol begin to wane a bit. I'd still keep going, obviously. There was no going back now. But the fact that I would most likely never be as impressive as any of the people in the Arena was… disheartening.

In the end, it was just me. That's really all I had.

The battle was even for a time, but it was evident that Chrom and Co. would win once one of the enemy team faltered. The first to go down was, oddly enough, the knight. Vaike, with a face I could only describe as  _laughing mad_ , got through the weak points in the knight's armor, severing several joints until the juggernaut fell over, and then proceeded to twitch ineffectually on the ground like a turtle turned upside down. Surprisingly, Miriel and the enemy mage went down at the same time, both having struck the other with their magic. Both were alive, but officially down for the count. Frederick took down one of the enemy cavaliers with a well-placed blow to the side, sending the rider to the ground in a heap and allowing the now rider-less horse to wander the arena. Stahl traded blows with the other cavalier until he made a mistake, allowing Stahl to quickly end it.

Robin and the thief were evenly matched. The thief was extremely quick, but eventually, he slipped up. That's what a lot of the victories on Chrom's side came from: waiting for the enemy to make a mistake and exploit it. The thief stumbled, giving Robin just enough time to hit him with a full lightning orb. It crashed into the thief, sending him hurtling across the Arena and stopping in a cloud full of dust. He was still breathing but unconscious.

_Did they turn down the amount of power they put into those spells or something?_

The battle had turned into five against one. Lucina stood, Parallel Falchion in hand, as she stared down the five remaining opponents. The crowd roared as the final battle was seemingly about to take place.

I expected Lucina to fight until she couldn't anymore, and the people in the Arena thought much the same, if the cheers were anything to go by. However, that is not what happened. She relaxed, dropping her stance and sheathing Parallel Falchion.

" _I surrender_."

* * *

I got out of there as quickly as I could. Last I saw, the people within the Arena were starting to become a bit violent. Feroxi guards were going in and stopping any bloodshed, but I didn't stay long enough to see it  _really_ get ugly.

_What in the who in the why in the FUCK._

It was safe to say no one expected that. Hell,  _I_ didn't expect it, and I knew the future for fuck's sake. In the game you just fought until everyone on the other side was gone. In the Arena in particular – I think it was Chapter 4? – you fought Lucina until she was beaten. There was no sign of surrender. Fuck, surrender wasn't even an  _option_.

_You say you don't see this as a game, and yet you constantly compare it to one._

That was a problem I started seeing with myself. It would do me no good to continue making comparisons, but I couldn't help it. I hit my forehead a couple times as I walked through the empty halls of the Arena and into Bellator proper. Hopefully, if I was fast, I could've made it to my room and just fall the fuck to sleep. Leave all the important dialogue and shit to those who needed to say it; I didn't feel like sitting through it and the shitstorm that became of the stone bleachers.

Unfortunately, fate saw fit for me to run into a certain masked Lord.

I was just about to head towards what I thought was the exit when I almost ran straight into her. She was walking briskly, as if she didn't know or didn't care about what she left behind her.

"Oh, hey." I greeted awkwardly, causing her to turn to me. "Have fun dueling with daddy-dearest?"

"Sir Alex," She replied, still using her 'Marth' voice. "It is… nice to see you again, but unless you have something important to discuss with me, I must be on my way."

I snorted. "Considering the shitshow you caused, you're probably  _running away_  instead of going somewhere in particular. What the hell was that about, by the way?"

"I ensured my father's victory. Nothing more."

"Well, I guess you succeeded in that." I replied, pausing for a moment as the shouts from the Arena died down a little. "…And maybe a bit more."

Lucina turned. "If there is nothing else, I must leave."

"Wait!" I exclaimed. She turned back, her masked face staring back at me emotionlessly. "I… Well, walk with me. I have some questions. And I know a few alleyways you could take so you can get through the city without being, uh,  _accosted_."

Wandering the streets for hours did have its advantages, even though I doubted my ability to really navigate them.

I did have a fair few questions on my mind, mostly pertaining to the bad future. What Lucina told me last time was, well, incredibly  _vague_. I wanted to know more. I actually wanted to know everything about it, but I knew that would be like trying to get blood from a stone, so I settled for less intrusive questions.

After a few seconds of dead silence from Lucina, she finally spoke. "So be it. Sir Alex did tell me his younger self was curious."

_Jokes on him, I'll ruin his life… Wait…_

* * *

I realized that Lucina was probably just humoring me. And I was fine with that. As long as she told me more about the future, about what I became, I'd be at least partially satisfied.

"You were going to ask me questions, Sir Alex."

Her 'Marth' voice was slipping a bit, but still deeper than her actual voice. It startled me a bit, but I didn't show it. I was getting a bit better at that.

We walked through the dark and deserted back alleys of Bellator. Junk littered the ground, and we had to be careful to not trip over any of it. The darkness of the night was only alleviated by the moon, which still shone so brightly.

_It's just the moon, man, not your fucking wife._

"Yeah, I was." I replied, stepping over pieces of crumbling stone. "Although I have a feeling you already know what I'm gonna ask."

"You want to know more about yourself." She replied succinctly.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Well, yeah. You didn't really give me a lot to work with last time we talked. Hell, all I did was sit down while you talked at me for almost that entire conversation, so…" I paused. "You already know that I know everything. About the future and all that shit. How did 'I' explain it to you?"

"Sir Alex did not speak often of his past." She said. "He was entitled to his secrets, of course. He said he came from a far away land, that had a prophecy of what would take place here. It was supposedly contentious in some circles."

I furrowed my brow. "That's… a rather roundabout explanation."

"It is the explanation he gave, and Sir Alex never gave me reason for distrust. So far, his predictions have proven to be almost entirely correct."

I looked at her. "'Almost'?'"

If it was possible, she looked a bit embarrassed. "I was… unprepared for the amount of Risen that followed me."

"I really wasn't either, so you're not alone in that." I replied. "But… that was just something he  _did_ , huh? I wanted to know more about what he… what  _I_ became. Like I said, you didn't really give me a lot to work with last time. I understand if you don't wanna say anymore, hell, we could cut this off here and not talk for the next two years, but if you could…?"

Silence reigned like it did often around Lucina. I would've thought she'd already bailed if it wasn't for the steady footsteps I heard beside me. Eventually, she stopped, and I did too. I looked at her, brow raised.

"…As I said back at that fort, Sir Alex was a broken man." Lucina began. "After the death of my father, he threw himself into war after war, battle after battle, each time returning with fewer friends than when he left. He never questioned an order, but he would fight with reckless abandon, as if he did not care whether he lived, or he died. He lived, though. He fought with all of us to the bitter end. Once we successfully gathered all the materials required for the Awakening, he… stayed behind. The last time I saw him, he was facing an entire horde of Risen all on his own. That stony expression of his never left his face."

I didn't say anything for several moments. It felt like ice had been injected into my veins. It wasn't much more than what she told me months ago, but it did have a lot more detail. It occurred to me we were technically having the same conversation, just more… just  _more._

It was hard for me to understand the emotions I felt at the fate I had in the future. What exactly happened to me? After Lucina last saw me, that is. The thought of all the possibilities made me shiver.

"Well…" I began, a lump in my throat. "That's… a rather grim fate."

"And yet, you still remain."

_Ah, and there it is again._

"Yeah, I do."

She looked me dead in the eye. I could tell that even through the mask. "Knowing that, knowing everything I've told you, you still stay. Even knowing what you could become, you are still here. I ask, once again, why?"

I tilted my head. "Didn't I already answer that?"

"I gave you what you wanted: clarification. I want that as well."

"…Fine," I replied, sighing. "Let me ask you a question, Lucina. Let's say, you've lived a life of nothing but mediocrity; you just go from day to day like life is a dream. Nothing interesting happens, you will go nowhere in the world, and everything you are is meaningless. If you had the chance, a small yet inexplicable chance, to be something more, to finally be something you've always wanted to be, would you take it?"

"…I do not understand. You're still here because-?" She began.

"Because I want to be a hero." I finished, the word feeling awkward on my tongue. "If I went back now, just  _dropped_ everything and somehow found a way home, what would I go back to? A dead-end life with no future? A life of frustration, flailing around at a world I can't change? At least here, I can  _be_  something. I finally have the opportunity to do something with my life." My voice cracked. "Who wouldn't take that?"

_Let's just ignore all your friends and family who loved and supported you for eighteen years, eh boy scout?_

I was trying my best to do just that.

"…The Sir Alex I knew hated that word." Lucina said. "Hero. It was one of the few times he ever showed emotion."

"I might never be the Sir Alex you know," I replied. "With my knowledge, I'm probably acting so differently from him even at this point in time it's not even funny. So, I guess you have your answer. Still not leaving. And I don't plan to, either." I smirked slightly, despite my roiling emotions. "Just like I said, changing fate and all that, right?"

"Indeed," Lucina said quietly. "If you will excuse me, Sir Alex, I will be on my way."

And just like that, she disappeared down one of the many dark alleys.

I didn't say a single word as she left. There was no need. Everything that needed to be said  _was_  already. And I was lost in my own little world on that alleyway in the city of Bellator. It was hours before I made it to my room in the castle, and even then, I didn't get very good sleep.

I never asked her just  _how_ much she knew about what would happen, or the specifics, at least.. Did she know about Emmeryn's oncoming demise? Did she know about Robin's true nature? Just how much did my future self tell her?

In the end, I'd never really know. All I did know, was that  _I_ certainly told her nothing. Nothing about Emmeryn, and nothing about the events that would transpire. It was, to put it in poor terms, in the hands of fate.

My mind was clouded with thoughts of a future that would never happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, there was always something weird about this chapter for me, but everyone I talked to said it was fine after a few touch-ups. Maybe it was Lucina's conversation. As Alex said in the narration, they basically just had an expanded repeat of the one they had back at the unnamed fort. Not that she could really give any more info on how Alex was back in the Future. Just how much does she know, I wonder?
> 
> I'm probably gonna take a break for a while to get all my shit settled. I said once that no outline survives contact with the writing process, and boy howdy was this the case here. My old outline is basically useless now; I have to start over completely on it. I gotta get a nice backlog of chapters so I can work with little stress. Sure, it means that this might be the last chapter you see this month, but I think it's better than having a horrible upload schedule with little pattern. I've experienced first hand how that can fuck a story up.
> 
> And with that, this chapter is done. See you all next time!


	7. Paralogue

"Alex, c'mere! Arm wrestle me!"

"No."

"Why not!?

"Because you would  _win_ , Vaike."

For some background, we left Bellator the day after the Arena match. The alliance between Ferox and Ylisse had been forged, and we were even travelling with a few Feroxi soldiers. We'd traveled through the same mountain pass we used to get to Bellator and were about a day out from the Longfort. Ylisstol was only a few short weeks away.

In game terms, we were between Chapter 4 and Chapter 5. Which meant that Emmeryn's death was drawing closer.

I tried to not think about it, but my conversation with Lucina dragged it kicking and screaming back to the forefront of my mind. I didn't think I'd ever make peace with the fact I'd let an innocent woman die because of my own fear of changing events.

Foreknowledge was a bitch.

On the march back to Ylisstol, things were quiet; besides the daily training, exercises, and marching, nothing much happened. No burning villages, no hordes of Risen ambushing us, nothing. It was making me anxious and left me too much time to think. And when all you can think about is the imminent suicide of your friend and boss' sister, that tends to lead down grim trails of thought.

This meant I was happy for any interaction. This time, it was Vaike's turn, and a couple of other Shepherds who just so happened to be toiling around the camp at that late at night.

"Eh, can't really blame you for that. Hehe. I mean, have you  _seen_ these muscles!?" Vaike leaned back in his chair and flexed his arms, showing off his impressive guns. "Don't blame ya for being a scaredy cat. Who wouldn't when they look at  _this?_ "

" _Scaredy cat?_ " I echoed incredulously. "Apparently you're still in second grade, 'cause I haven't heard that insult in a literal fuckin'  _decade._ "

"Have no idea what a 'second grade' is," Vaike said, leaning back forward over the temporary table. "But yeah, you're a scaredy cat all right. Or a chicken. Whatever floats your boat, Alex."

I almost said something, but I backed down when I realized what he was doing. "Oh, I see. Yeah, you're not gonna goad me into-"

"Nah, it's okay, buddy," Sully said, coming out of the darkness like a phantom. She threw an arm around my shoulder. "I already beat your ass enough during training. Let off of him, Vaike, he ain't got the strength in him to go on!"

Vaike covered his mouth with a fist as he barked a laugh. "Yeah, that's true, huh? Poor guy probably can't even walk over here!"

I sputtered. "W-Where the hell did you even  _come_ from!?" I shook my head. "Whatever. If I do this, Vaike will twist my arm like a fucking  _pretzel_. Ain't doing it. Fuck off."

This only made them laugh harder. I could feel my face turning red from embarrassment even then.

"Fascinating," A cold voice said, coming out of literal nowhere. "Judging by your body language and general lack of genuine indicators of annoyance in your voice, you are currently enjoying what is going on at this moment."

I turned around, seeing Miriel walking towards us from one of the tents. She had a book and quill in hand, already furiously taking notes.

I groaned as the situation only got more ridiculous. "Okay, now she's here too. Is there anyone else who wants to come out of the shadows like they're Batman?" I looked around, my arms spread wide. "Anybody?  _Annnybody?_ "

Silence reigned for a few moments.

I narrowed my eyes. "Well, good. I guess that-"

"Actually, I'm here too."

" _Jesus fuck!_ "

Three guesses as to who I slammed my face into. The first two don't count.

"Fuck's sake, Kellam!" I shouted, rubbing my nose and making sure I wasn't bleeding. "I'm starting to think you're doing that on purpose!"

"Oh… Oh, Gods, Alex, please, I can't keep doing this; you're gonna kill me!" Vaike gasped, holding his stomach as he nearly fell out of his chair laughing.

"Yeah, yer really out of it, ain't ya?" Sully chided, taking a seat next to Vaike. "Can't even notice old Kellam standing right next to ya! What on Naga's green earth did they teach ya back in that U.S. of yours? How to be a scared pussy?"

"Them's some fighting words, Sully."

"I kick yer ass on a daily basis. Ya can't do anything to me! Ha!"

I snarled as I stomped over to the table. "You know what, fuck it. Come here, Vaike. I'm gonna arm wrestle the shit outta you."

"Ha! If you can beat me so hard that I start shittin', then I'll give ya my axe!"

"I hope you're ready to lose it. Think I'll get it gold-plated and then hang it on my mantlepiece. I won't even use it, and I'll rub your face in it!"

"What an interesting social interaction. Group hazing in an attempt to goad the outlier into a test of strength." Miriel observed with a clinical eye. "I anticipate the outcome of this event."

"Oh, this is getting good!" Sully said, watching eagerly. "Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on ya. Make sure you don't break any bones and such."

"Keep talking like that and I'll- Kellam, I swear to fuck if you're behind me-!" I looked around for the armored giant.

"Sorry about earlier," I heard him say, just to my right. "I tried saying something, but you looked right past me."

"Yeah, don't worry about it, man. Just don't do that again please."

"Ya done talking to nothing over there, or are we gonna do this?" Vaike said, putting his arm up.

"Vaike, you're gonna wish I'd just walked away when I'm done with you." I replied, a vicious smile on my face.

"You boys done talking?" Sully asked smarmily.

"Yeah… I think so." I put my own arm up and grabbed Vaike's hand. "Let's do this, meathead."

Vaike laughed. "Ready when you are, pasty face!"

"Alright alright alright! Ready…" Sully held her gauntleted hand out in a chopping motion. "Steady…" I braced. " _Go!_ "

What you would expect is for me to lose instantly. Vaike would slam my arm down onto the table within an instant, and I would leave humiliated and disappointed in myself. However, that was not the case. Once we began, I fully expected to be crushed. I still put my full strength behind my arm anyways, but I didn't really hold out hope.

I was surprised when, while I was steadily losing ground, I was actually able to fight back effectively. Me  _and_ Vaike visibly struggled to get the other's hand down, although it was clear he was the stronger of both of us, considering my hand was going down. It just wasn't happening as fast as I thought it would.

I could feel the muscles in my arm tire, and it promptly found itself on the table shortly afterwards. Not an unexpected conclusion.

"Phew," Vaike whistled, rubbing his forearm. "Didn't expect ya to put up so much of a fight, hah! Still beat you though, huh?"

"Fucking told you you would win." I grumbled, feeling my arm a bit to make sure nothing was broken. "Don't know what else you were expecting."

"Oh, quit your bitching," Sully said, walking around the table and sitting down. She put her feet up. "Ya did a lot better than you would've when you first came here. 'Spose your training ain't going to nothing, huh?"

"I mean… yeah." I replied slowly. "Turns out getting your ass kicked on a daily basis is a decent work-out routine, huh?"

"Uh huh." Vaike grunted. "When you first came here, you had a little muscle sure, but now it's gettin' bigger. You're swelling up, that's for sure."

"An eight-percent increase in muscle mass, to be exact," Miriel added, adjusting her glasses as she closed her book/journal. "Not an insubstantial gain. I have been studying your progress."

"Uh, yeah, what she said." Vaike agreed awkwardly.

I began to laugh but stopped. I'd seen this dynamic before, long before I ever ended up outside of Southtown. It reminded me of that little group I found myself a part of in high school; just sitting down, doing stupid shit, and hanging out.

The wave of homesickness that followed that thought felt like the emotional equivalent of being run over by a dump truck.

* * *

In the end, we made it to Ylisstol with no incidents; not a single bandit or Risen attacked us on our way back. In a way, I was both relieved and anxious. Relieved because that meant no combat, and anxious because it left me stark little to do except march. I did talk with the other Shepherds, but there's only so many times you can talk to people before they start thinking something is wrong, and so I let up a little on that.

Reports came in from Phila's scouts that Bandit raids were still happening all around the Ylisse-Plegian border and were still attempting to travel farther into Ylisse. Specifically, the south, where the Feroxi troops were at their lowest. Chrom immediately resumed his patrols, and we were preparing for another excursion. The Shepherds would split off into the many villages in the south, just to make sure everything was as it should be, prevent raids, and to reassure the people living in them.

It was better than doing nothing until Maribelle got captured. Speaking of whom, she had returned to whatever the hell Themis was to attend something noble. I wasn't really paying attention, but I heard that much, at least. Everything was drawing closer and closer.

Of course, considering the interim between in-game chapters so far, I wasn't holding out hope that it would happen quickly.

I threw myself into training just so I'd have something to do while we waited. So I wouldn't have to  _think_. The day before we were supposed to leave, however, I finished early. Sully kicked my ass, I got a few more pointers from Frederick, and then we were done. I was at a loss at what to do with myself. I attempted to talk to somebody, but everyone was either busy preparing for the patrol, or I couldn't find them.

Eventually, I found myself in my room in the barracks. I just looked around for a few moments.

It was a bit of a mess, but nothing serious. Sunlight shone through the curtained windows, lighting the room nicely. I just stood there for several seconds, taking it all in. It had been a while since I'd been in there for any meaningful length of time. Not awake, anyway. Since I'd joined the Shepherds, I mostly spent time outside of it, doing stuff so that I wouldn't have to think about shit. It was a pretty successful coping technique, but it could only go so far.

In the end, this was an inevitability.

"Fucking hell, I need to decorate…" I mumbled to myself, taking a few steps into the room. I turned towards the desk and my eyes focused on an object near the edge.

_Phone._

It was a dinky little thing. My mom gave it to me when I was seventeen to replace the shitty black one I'd had for almost three years. It had a grey rubber case, with a hole for the camera. I picked it up, studying every contour and detail. My thumb felt over the power button.

I pressed it.

Nothing happened.

Its battery died months ago; the day after we made it to Ylisstol. I had spent it just looking at my games, my apps, and, lastly, my texts. They were all still there. Predictably, it didn't have service, but I could still see them. All the things my friends and I said to each other. All the things I texted to my sister. And even my parents.

I spent the last few percentages of power it had going over them. I could remember clearly the last thing I said to either of my parents. For some reason, I made sure to burn it into my memory.

Wednesday, May 1st, 2019. 7:09 AM.  _I'll see you when I get home._

"…Wha…?" I saw a drop of water fall onto the black screen. My fingers traced my cheeks and came back wet.

_If you stay here, you'll never see them again. If you go back, you'll never live out your dream. What a conundrum._

Blinking away the tears, I looked to my right. Leaning against my bed was my old backpack. I did not hesitate to walk towards it and open it. Inside were the rest of my belongings from my old world. The psychology textbook among them. A class I hated so much now seemed like such a distant thing, just on the edge of being forgotten. The blue binder I kept all my papers and notes in was a little crushed, but I pulled it out and opened it. For the first time in months, I read.

I'd had a couple lessons with Sumia, but it would still be a while before I could read Common with any sort of proficiency.

My handwriting was messy, more than I remembered. The pages were crinkled a bit but still legible. The papers from classes almost completely forgotten to me looked alien compared to what I'd seen in Ylisse and Ferox. Everything was still there, it was all the same, it just  _felt_ different.

It was like looking into someone else's life.

Lastly, was my wallet. The leather was still the same as when I arrived outside Southtown: smooth and ever so slightly stretchy from use. 10 dollars US, a bus pass for the 1st of May, and my Learner's Permit was all that was within.

The face that stared back at me from that piece of laminated plastic looked foreign to me, for some reason. I didn't think I looked very much different from what I used to. It'd only been two and a half months, after all. I still could not shake that feeling off, though, no matter how hard I tried.

I put all the items back into my backpack, content to let them rest forever in it. My phone, the glorified paperweight it was, remained on my desk. I didn't touch it again.

They were such small things, those items, and yet they held large significance to me. Relics of a different life, the artifacts of a distant civilization, the last pieces of home I'd ever look at or hold ever again.

Once more, my assumptions of myself were way off the mark. I thought I'd successfully pushed back those feelings, the feelings of homesickness and nostalgia, all the way into the back of my mind. No matter what, though, they always came back. I'd never be rid of them.

And a part of me never wanted to be.

* * *

I shouted as my sword slashed against Frederick's shield. Frederick gave no indication that he felt it even as he rushed forward, attempting to push me back, which succeeded. I tried to get around him so I could slash at a weak point in his armor. This failed, to no surprise, as I was nearly sent to the ground as Frederick still came at me like a charging bull. This time with a sword out, he was ready to take me out for good.

He stopped.

"It is clear you have poor compatibility with armored infantry," Frederick said, backing off. "That is something we will need to work on in the future."

"Nah, actually, I think that's just you," I mumbled, stumbling a little before straightening out. "You're very intimidating. You know that right?"

"So I have been told," Frederick replied, his armor clinking a little as he relaxed his stance. "Nonetheless, my advice should be heeded, Alex. I acted no different from what you would face on the battlefield, remember that."

Sully was sent to another village on our little patrol, which meant I was short a sparring partner. Luckily for me, Fredbear decided it was time he faced me himself. The first time, I predictably got destroyed. He then mixed his style up; sometimes he'd come in as his usual self, and other times he was in heavier armor, like he was then.

All in all, just as hellish as I imagined.

The little clearing we were in was just a short walk from camp, and at least it gave a good view of the rising sun. Little rays of sunshine flowed through the leaves of nearby trees, so I at least had something nice to bask in as I got pounded into paste.

I snorted. "Frederick, there is not a single word of advice of yours I've not taken into consideration. If I just ignored even  _some_ of the stuff you say, I'd already be dead."

_And the people you kill would be alive._

"Indeed. That is a good mentality to have," Frederick said, nodding. "Most soldiers I have trained needed to learn that the hard way."

"You've… trained other soldiers?" I asked, awkwardly confused for a second. I rubbed the back of my neck after realizing what a stupid question it was to ask. "I mean, I guess that makes sense."

"Did you believe that you were the only one I have trained?" Frederick queried pointedly.

"Leave me alone, I'm tired."

He sighed. "I have trained many knights and soldiers who now serve the crown. You are not the first, and likely not the last. If you  _were_ the first soldier I ever trained, your regimen would not be what it is now, and we would not be seeing the results of it this early."

I slapped a hand on my stomach, feeling muscle instead of flab. "I'll say. I haven't looked or felt this good in a while."

I still had a few squishy bits, but nothing compared to what I had when I first arrived. It was really astonishing what a good diet and constant exercise could do to you.

"Yes," Frederick agreed. "You did ask of me to turn that into muscle. I trust that you will keep it that way?"

"Hell, at this point I don't think I could go back to what I was even if I  _wanted_ to." I said truthfully, looking up and taking a deep breath. "But yeah, obviously not the first person you've trained. How many  _have_  you trained?"

Frederick folded his arms behind his armored back. "As Knight-Commander of Ylisse and milord's retainer, it is my honor and duty to train those who would serve with him and alongside him. I have trained more than I can count so that they may be worthy of the tasks that are doled out to them."

"…Well, I asked for a number, not a speech. I guess that works, anyway." I mumbled, twirling my sword around a bit before getting back into position. "Knight-Commander, though? First time I've heard about that."

"A rank I wear with pride." Frederick replied, holding up his shield and sword. "That is enough talk. Our break is over. On your guard!"

I returned to camp that afternoon with no small number of bruises. And honestly, I'd be disappointed if I didn't.

* * *

Southern Ylisse was hot. And humid. I didn't make note of these traits back during those first few days, but I sure as hell was now. Sweat dripped down my brow as we marched forwards to the last village we were to check on. All the other Shepherds who were still with us pushed on like the air wasn't so thick with moisture you could swim through it.

The closest thing I could compare it with was southern Maryland in early-mid Summer: rain, thunder, and humidity all the time. Minus the rain and thunder. For now.

Of course, I felt another pang of homesickness. Because I was doing something instead of just standing around, however, I was able to ignore it for the most part.

What I could not ignore was the black-haired swordsman marching nearby.

_Lon'qu_.

It was a while after we left Bellator that I finally noticed him around. He was always so quiet that I sometimes forgot he was there. Almost like Kellam, but unlike him, Lon'qu probably did that on purpose. I hadn't even spoken to him once. Mostly because it looked like he really didn't wanna talk to anyone for any reason.

In a way, he reminded me of my early high school years, only less edgy and more badass.  _A lot_ more badass.

Chrom and Frederick led our little caravan, and Robin was around but out of sight. Basically, once more, I was alone. Unless I wanted to talk to tall, dark, and murderous.

If I wanted a short conversation, that was the way to go.

Luckily for me, we didn't have to wait long for something to happen.

I saw him before I heard him. He was running up the road straight towards us, his iconic pot atop his head. I almost stumbled as my eyes widened in surprise.

_Is that motherfuckin' Donnel!?_

"Shepherds, hold!" Chrom ordered, grinding our little caravan to a halt. Donnel tumbled up to us, out of breath.

"H-Halp! I'm beggin' ya! You gots to help us, milords!" Donnel shouted, nearly falling to the ground.

"Slow down," Chrom replied. "What's happening?"

A big brute of a man ran down the path, an axe in his hand. "There ya are, ya wee little piglet! Thought ya could run 'way from me, did ya!?" He laughed savagely.

"…Oh, brigands. Great." Chrom said, unsheathing Falchion.

"Aheh, what's this?" The bandit sneered, looking at Chrom. "A little lordling barely off his mother's teat come to save his peasants-"

It was almost like he didn't notice the small army behind Chrom. Seeing everyone else walking towards the front all intimidating, I tried to copy them. I went forward slowly to the front of the caravan, my hand on the hilt of my sword, ready to unsheathe it at a moment's notice.

The others looked suitably intimidating. Me? Not so much, in my opinion.

I swear I almost saw the gears turning in the bandit's head. He went as white as a sheet after a moment and took several steps back. "Aw, damn it all ta hell! The S-Shepherds!"

"That's right," Chrom confirmed, pointing Falchion at the bandit. "So, what'll it be, brigand? Fight and die, or live and run? The choice is yours."

_…That was actually pretty cool._

"D-Damn it all!" The bandit shouted cowardly, turning tail and running off into the distance.

"Smart man," Chrom said, sheathing Falchion and gently hauling Donnel back to his feet. "Now tell me, lad. What happened?"

"A-At once, milord! Right away, milord! Er, if it pleases Your Majestyfulness." Donnel stuttered.

"Let's set aside the titles for now," Chrom said. "What's your name?"

"D-Donny, Your Lordfulness!" Donnel replied breathlessly. "Er, that is Donnel, sir. I live in a village just down yonder!"

Chrom nodded. "I guess that'll do for now. Tell me, what's going on?"

"It's just terrible, Your Lordliness!" Donnel exclaimed. "That rotten, pig-stinkin' bandit ya just ran off attacked us! E-Er, if you'll pardon my manners, Your Graciousness. I was the only one what got away! They were roundin' the others up and haulin' 'em off to their camp… Please, sir! Ya gots to save them! My ma's one of them… She's all I gots left in the world! Please, sir, I'm beggin' ya!"

I felt a pang in my chest at Donnel's words. I did always like Donnel, along with most of the Shepherds. If I could help him, I would. With no hesitation.

_That sounds like something Chrom would say, boy scout._

"These bandits grow more brazen by the day… I need to talk with Emm when we get back," Chrom muttered bitterly. "Alright, Donny, we'll help you get your ma back. Can you lead us to where they're being held?"

Donnel's expression instantly brightened, as a small number of tears fell from the corners of his eyes. "Aw, thank ya! Thank ya Your Sirness! They was takin' them up to the old Farfort! Just follow me!"

We marched with Donnel leading us until we came upon the ruins of an old fort, half overgrown with trees. Sumia scouted ahead on her pegasus, noting that the bandits were hauling worn and beaten townsfolk into one of the less ruined buildings. Robin took these reports and formulated a plan to both free the townsfolk and eliminate the bandits within.

It was agonizing waiting for him to explain it to us. And when he did, it seemed a bit… unorthodox.

* * *

"…You know, fishing line as a tripwire makes sense. I didn't even think about that until just now." I whispered, as Donnel tied the fishing line to another small wooden post. It was about a foot off the ground, very hard to see unless you were looking, and went across the entire doorway.

The night was young, with only the rays of the moon and the harsh yellow of torchlight so far away to light up the world. The sound of crickets was the only thing I heard as I stared at Donnel making a trap like he'd been doing it his whole life.

"Wha?" The muscle man opposite of me grunted quietly, "Ya don't think too outside the box, do ya Alex?"

I glared at Vaike. "What's that, Vaike? Like you even knew you could do it. I saw your face when Robin was explaining the plan to us.  _Bonehead._ "

"Oho, ya keep talking, bud, but yer not saying much, are ya?" Vaike replied. "Once we get back to camp I'll show ya what kinda bonehead I have!"

I cringed as those words left his mouth. "Vaike, what the hell kinda comeback was that? Phrasing, dude!"

"Wha…? Ooooh… Oh, gods, Alex I didn't mean-! I mean, the Vaike is only interested in the ladies, ya understand? Big, thick 'uns!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I don't wanna hear it…!" I hissed, covering my eyes for several moments before looking down. "Donny, how's the tripwire?"

"Just abouts got it, sir!" Donnel replied, cutting a bit of stray wire off before standing up. He wiped his forehead and turned to me. "All done, Mr. Alex! Gots to say, that tactician of yers is a right smart fella huh?"

"You can say that again," I replied, turning to Vaike. "Okay, stay close to the side of the wall, I'll be here. Donnel, you got your spear?"

He nodded, brandishing said spear. "Gots it right here, yeah!"

"Right, just like Robin said, then." I took a deep breath. "You stay back, we're gonna lure whatever guards are coming this way, dispose of them, and get to that building holding all the hostages, and then we're getting the hell outta dodge. Got all that down, Vaike?"

"Why're ya asking  _me_?"

"Just wanted to make sure it got through that  _thick_ head of yours," I grumbled, flattening myself against the cold stone wall adjacent to the trapped doorway. "Ya know, just in case my words couldn't get through all that muscle."

"Ohoh, big words coming from ya! Just you wait, Alex, I'll get more kills than you in this, er…  _stealth_  mission."

"Fucking, I hope you do," I whispered.

"You fellas are the strangest bunch o' people I ever did talk to…"

"Yeah, yeah, get next to me, Donny," I forced him against the cold stone wall, shushing. "If they haven't heard us already, they should be-"

"Gods damn, those villagers don't got no coin or gold or nothin' do they?" A deep voice began, starting out quietly before it sounded like it was coming from just beyond the wall. "By Grima's fat scaly ass, they don't even have a nice pretty lass to throw around!"

_Oh, I don't even feel bad for what I'm about to do anymore._

"Know what ya mean, friend." Another voice, just as guttural as the last, replied. "A shame, that. We shoulda moved on to the next village long ago. Ain't nothin' here but farms and pig shit. 'Sides, heard the Shepherds were not but a day's trip from here, did ya know that?"

I looked at Vaike, who readied his axe and nodded at me. Slowly, I picked up a pebble from the ground.

"Yeah, heard 'bout that," Moron #1 answered. "Boss was all in a tizzy 'bout that, so I heard. Just blowing hot steam, I say. Like one of them noblelady's teapots. What say we cut our losses and just run for greener pastures? Like them Twins up north?"

"Ya didn't hear 'bout that?" Moron #2 asked. "Them Shepherds killed 'em! Entire gang almost down to the last man, jus'  _gone._  I know them Twins weren't the most normal a folk, but they-"

I tapped the pebble against the rock wall, causing both bandits to go quiet.

"Ya hear that?" One whispered. "What was that?"

"Bird, or somthin'? Wait, maybe them Shepherds are around! We gots ta-!"

"Shut up, birdbrain!" Moron #1 murmured harshly. "Probably just that one farmer boy, ya know? One that got 'way. I say we go and welcome him to his new home."

I had to forcefully keep my face from scrunching into a snarl. I could almost feel Donnel shiver next to me.

"Ya sure? What if it is one of them Shepherds? What we gonna do then?"

"Then we ask 'em politely to leave- What in Grima's name do ya think we're gonna do? We axe 'em before they can go back to all their little sheepy friends! Now, c'mon, I ain't goin' out there alone!"

The sound of two footsteps rang in my ears hollowly as my pulse quickened. What happened next only took a few moments, but it felt like it was an eternity.

Like a bunch of lemmings, they both came out of the wide doorway at the same time. Both of them got their foot caught by the tripwire, and tripped. One fell to the ground with a yelp, while the other only stumbled before ripping out one of the wooden posts with his movement. Vaike and I instantly went into motion. I plunged my sword down through the back of the bandit that fell down, while Vaike's axe found its place in the other's meaty neck, nearly severing his head cleanly from his shoulder.

The bandit on the ground moaned before I roughly stabbed him again, silencing him.

I was just thanking whatever god that would listen that they were both stupid enough to leave at the same time.

I let out a breath I was holding. "Alright, let's just get in there, get the prisoners, and get out. If we see any guards, we take 'em out. Everyone good?"

"Hang on, just gotta get this blood off my axe… And, yeah, we're good."

"I'm 'bout ready to go when you are, Mr. Alex!"

I laughed a little when Donnel said that. "Eheh, now I feel like I'm in an office or some shit… I'm only nineteen damnit! Whatever, let's go."

The building the villagers were being held in was at the corner of the Farfort, surrounded by walls. I wondered why the hell they did that, because if they were being held at the center of the camp, they'd be easier to corral and capture if they escaped. Although, considering the behavior of the ones we'd seen so far, I should have expected it; they didn't seem like the sharpest tools in the shed.

We went through the stone hallways, the only light coming from torches and the occasional oil lamp. We were coming upon the room with the villagers inside when we heard footsteps.

I stopped moving, Vaike and Donnel doing the same.

"Gods damn it all, 'ave me guarding these Ylissean cow-humpers, huh? Just my luck…" Said the apparent bandit, grumbling under his breath.

The moment he stepped around the corner, I struck. My sword impaled him through the chest as he gagged in surprise. Another quick stab and he was done. I was splattered lightly with blood, but otherwise I was fine so far.

_Hell, maybe I should be a thief with all this sneaking around and shit I've been doing._

"Gods, brutal." Vaike commented. "The Vaike approves!"

"Yeah, well, guess it's better to have your approval rather than disapproval." I noticed Donnel. "Hey, Donny, you doing alright?"

"Aw, shucks. Mighty nice of ya to worry 'bout me, Mr. Alex," Donnel replied. "Doin' fine, though. Just hopin' we get to my ma and get outta here right quick!"

"Don't worry; we will," I said, smiling slightly. "We should probably hurry up before-"

It began with a shout, and then the buildings nearby exploded into sound. The familiar sounds of battle rang out in the night, ringing in my ears like tinnitus. I looked at Vaike and Donnel.

"Well, before  _that_ , but whatever, we still got time."

"All that noise is gettin' Teach's blood pumpin'! Wish I was out there with everyone else!"

"Aren't I just  _lucky_ you got stuck with me, then." I mumbled sarcastically.

"Damn right ya are! Wouldn't have even got half as far as you are now without ol' Teach to back ya up!" Vaike responded, pounding his chest.

"I've got one more kill than you, though. What were we betting on again?" I asked, brow raised with a smirk on my face.

"Wait… one, two, and… Ah, gods. Just ya wait!"

"Fuckin' whatever, man."

"I don't mean to be all rude-like, but my ma and…"

"Yeah, don't worry, Donny."

We went down one more stone corridor, taking out another guard. Finally, we found the door to the room with all the villagers in it. It was easy to pick out, what with the chains around it. That, and the chattering of those within.

"Shit, if only we had a Door Key…" I murmured to myself. "Ah, to hell with it!"

I kicked the door. A moment later, I was grabbing at my knee, cursing and hissing under my breath.

"I don't reckon that'll work, Mr. Alex." Donnel said.

"Maybe you should let Teach get through this door?"

"Guys, shh, I got this," I replied through clenched teeth, limping a little farther away from the door. "Alright, just you watch, I'll get this fucking door down!"

I ran-limped towards the door, attempting to bring it down with the full force of my body. I crashed against the door, causing the chains and wood to rattle but nothing much else. I cursed again as my shoulder throbbed with agony.

" _Fucking... cum-dumpster… jackass motherfucker goddamnit!_ " I swore with the fury of a sailor, limping away from the door as the sound of battle only grew louder.

"Are ya alright?" Donnel asked, concerned. "It don't look like this door is gonna give up, huh."

"Fucking telling me?" I rasped. "Alright, Vaike, just cut it down. I can't take this shit."

"Shoulda just asked me in the first place, bud, before ya went and nearly killed yourself trying to knock it down!" Vaike replied. "Don't worry, Vaike's got this one!"

True to his word, with that absolutely massive axe of his, Vaike swung at the door. The wood splintered and cracked after several chops. The villagers inside, who had gone from chattering among themselves to whispers once my first attempt at breaking down the door failed, started to grow louder as Vaike became visible to them.

I hollowly watched as Vaike did what I couldn't. I swore I felt tears at the corners of my eyes.

I forced myself to walk normally, much to the displeasure of my knee, as I looked into the dark room. Not a single light was inside, and the light from the hallway reflected off their scared eyes.

"Alright, folks, cavalry's come to save you," I announced to the group of villagers.

"W-Who… Who are ya?" One of them asked, along with a few quieter repeats from a several others.

"The Shepherds. Well, two of 'em. Name's Alex, this brute over here is Vaike-"

"Hey-! Wait, were ya sayin' something nice or-?"

"Point proven. And you already know Donny. We're getting you all outta here." I finished.

There was only a small amount of people inside, way less than one hundred. Apparently, the village had been losing people for months, what with all the bandit attacks and deaths. A good portion of people just moved out. At least, that was what I was told while we were moving them all out of the cesspit they were all crowded into like cattle.

It sickened me.

We moved the people out as quickly and quietly as we could, although even moving them was difficult considering some of them were injured. It took over an hour, with the constant sound of battle literally only a few buildings away, but eventually we got everyone out of there.

The grateful looks I got from some of them made me smile a little.

* * *

I sat down on a crate a short distance away from the Farfort. The bandits put up a helluva fight, as evidenced by the many wounds that some of the Shepherds had. Vulenaries and healing staves all helped the wounded get back on their feet, but we only had a small amount of healing tonic, and one healer; a lot of the healing would have to be done on the way back home. After we made sure all the villagers made it back out safe and sound, of course.

I was silent as I watched a scene play out in front of me.

Donnel was near me, apparently trying to come up and talk to me when a portly woman came upon him and wrapped him a bear hug.

"Oh, Donny!" She squealed. "Thank Naga you're safe! I was worried near to death 'bout you, boy! "

"Aw shucks, ma!" Donnel said, teary-eyed and hugging her back. "I'm just happy I could help!"

Chrom walked up to them after finishing talking with Frederick nearby. "Everything alright over here?"

"Your Lordliness!" Donnel's ma gasped. "I can't thank ya enough for saving us! …Donny, where are your manners? Take a knee and thank Your Majestyfulness!"

"Er, y-yeah! Thank ya so much, Your Graciousness! I can't begin to repay ya!"

Chrom smiled. "The glory is all yours, Donny. You're the one who saved your friends and family. We just served as a distraction. Use that experience to protect your village."

"W-wait a moment if it pleases ya, milord! I have a request!" Donnel asked, looking nervous but determind. "T-Take me with ya! I wanna be a Shepherd, like you and Mr. Alex and Mr. Vaike!"

"Hush now, foolish boy!" His mother scolded.

"I wanna get some… what, experience, yeah! I wanna get some experience and come back and protect ya'll, ma!" Donnel said. "I ain't thought I was good for nothin' but shovelin' dirt and feedin' livestock… But ya'll showed me what I can do! There's more I needs to be doin'!"

… _Huh… That sounds a bit… familiar…_

"Whatcha need to be doing is knowing your place! People like us ain't got no place with royalty-!"

"Actually, we'd be pleased to have him," Chrom said. "The Shepherds could use every able-bodied man and woman we can find."

"Y-You're kind to say as much Your Lordshipness but…" She sighed. "Well, alright. I 'spose you're a grown man now, Donny. You can make your own mind up."

Donnel smiled, looking nearly on the verge of tears again. "Aw, ma…"

"…You just come home safely, ya hear me? I'll see that the village be standin' when ya come back a hero. …Well? What're ya waitin' for, boy? Off you go! Glory's waitin' for ya!"

"I ain't fightin' for glory, ma, I'm fightin' for you!" Donnel said exuberantly, pumping his fist. "But if I find some glory along the way, I'll be sure to bring it back to you."

I looked down, barely hearing Donnel's ma utter a prayer for her son to return home safe. For a few moments, all I heard was the talking of the Shepherds and townsfolk around me. In other words, I was left with my own thoughts. I would've tried to find someone to talk to to get my mind off stuff, like usual, but I was just too exhausted to do that. I was barely able to keep awake.

"Er, Mr. Alex! Ya awake over there?"

I looked up, finding Donnel standing before me awkwardly. I smirked a little looking at that pot on his head.

"Donny." I greeted. "Need something?"

"Aw, shucks, I forgot… Naw, wait, I remember! Just wanted to say thanks to you and Mr. Vaike! Ya helped me get my ma back! I can't thank either o' ya enough!" Donnel said quickly, almost to the point I couldn't discern what he said.

I blinked, surprised. I pulled my collar up to try and hide the small smile that was forming on my face.

"Eh… You're welcome, Donny." I replied awkwardly, looking away from him. "I-If you wanna say thanks to Vaike in person, I think I saw him by the wagons." I pointed towards a nearby wagon that was being loaded.

"Oh, yeah! I'll go do that. Thank ya again Mr. Alex! See ya 'round!"

Donnel walked off, leaving me alone again.

_Huh, maybe I am doing something right…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand we're back. But what's this? A fairly lighthearted chapter with little at stake? This is supposed to be GRIMDARK. What am I even doing?
> 
> Not much for me to say, as this chapter was a detour in terms of plot. Still, it did introduce Donnel, which is good. He and Alex are going to be the best of friends!
> 
> I'll see you all next time!


	8. Warface

_Training, training, and, woah would you look at that, more training._

My inner complaints aside, I was just glad I was sparring with someone more on my skill level than well above it. Frederick and Sully were great for finding mistakes and building endurance, but when it came to actual combat practice, I would never feel like I benefited from it. Both of them were just so above me in terms of prowess that it made me feel a bit hopeless.

That meant I was all too happy to help train Donnel.

We were in the training area outside the barracks, just like almost every other day. My sword clashed against his, sending a hail of sparks to the dirt ground. Donnel grit his teeth and grunted, trying his best to push the pressure off of himself. Unluckily for him, I was bigger, and when he tried to weasel his way out of it, I stopped him. Eventually, this sent him to the ground sprawling, panting.

_Great. Now I feel like a dick for enjoying this._

"Gosh, Mr. Alex, you're real tough, huh?" Donnel gasped.

Before I could respond, the red-headed cavalier on the sidelines made her presence known. "Hah! You shoulda seen him when he first got here, Donny!" She jeered.

"Sully, why do you gotta ruin everything for me? I was having fun, damnit!" I complained.

"Someone has to make sure that praise doesn't go to yer head, yeah?" She drawled. "Can't have ya get too big a head, couldn't fit a helmet on you otherwise!"

"Oof, that was a good one. My big head, huh? You come up with that all on your own?"

"Damn right I did! Now quit talking to me and get back to going at it! Think Freddy's getting a bit impatient."

"Crudely put, but correct, Sully." Frederick said. "Both of you have potential. Alex simply has had more time to hone it. Donnel, you are not as strong as he is, but you are quicker. You need to focus more on striking at vital areas. Alex, your swordsmanship has improved immensely, but as I have said before, you are too rigid. Spread your legs wider, otherwise it will be easier to knock you off your feet."

"Thank ya, Mr. Frederick."

I gave a thumbs up.

"Hmm," Frederick hummed. "Very well. We shall start this from the beginning."

* * *

I wiped the sweat off my brow and leaned back on the chair I was sitting on, making it creak. We ended up sparring for well over an hour, with Frederick giving his two cents when he thought it necessary. Donnel looked a little worse off than me, but he'd never look as bad as I did when I first arrived. He'd spent a lifetime plowing fields and tending to livestock, after all. He was farther along than me in the endurance department, that was for sure. What did I have when I first started sparring and training? A few months weightlifting at a gym. Hardly anything to write home about.

After that, I decided to take it easy and sit in the mess hall, drinking water. Donnel decided to join me, for some odd reason I couldn't fathom. Still, his company wasn't unpleasant; it was appreciated.

"Hoo-wee, I sure am beat…" Donnel said next to me. "How're ya doin', Mr. Alex?"

"Doing just fine, mostly." I replied. "Don't worry about being all sore and shit, by the way. You're already doing much better than me when I was first here."

"Mighty kind o' ya to say so, Mr. Alex!" He responded cheerily, smiling. "Still gots to work harder. Can't let a little bit o' training git in the way o' bein' the best Shepherd I can be."

I took a deep breath. "Hey Donny, I'm gonna need you to do something for me."

"Whatcha need, Mr. Alex?"

"Please stop calling me 'Mr. Alex'." I asked tiredly. "It's making me feel like I'm a forty-something year old English teacher. I'm only nineteen, damnit…" I added quietly.

"Aw, I'm real sorry 'bout that, M- I mean, Alex." Donnel said, correcting himself midsentence. "Still tryin' to get a handle on things, ya know? Ya didn't seem to mind back then."

"That's because we were in the middle of a battle," I said dryly. "It's fine. You're just a little overly polite is all. I'm not really used to someone being all formal with me unless they're name begins with 'Fred' and ends with 'erick'.

"Huh, reminds me o' somethin' I wanted to ask," Donnel said, a new look in his eye. "I been talkin' to the other Shepherds, and they say you ain't from 'round here."

"Heh," I chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I'm not. I would've just told you if you'd asked, you know."

"…Shucks, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to go behind your back 'n all that. Just… ain't never seen nothin' or heard o' nothin' outside the village before, yeah? Got all curious-like…"

My grin dropped slightly. "Hey, don't worry about it. Just giving you a hard time." I patted his shoulder. "I'm guessing you want to know about it, right? If the others haven't told you what I've told them, that is."

"Yeah! I mean, if it pleases ya, Alex." Donnel said, his smile returning. Damn, was it bright.

"Well, alright." I replied, leaning forward. "Shit, where should I start? I assume the others already told you its name, right?" Donnel shook his head. "It's called the United States of America.  _Very_ far away place from here. Bordered on the north by a nation called Canada, and in the south by Mexico. To the east and west are the Atlantic and Pacific seas respectively. The North is more temperate than the south. Hell, southern Ylisse felt a whole helluva lot like Tennessee or Florida."

"Did ya live in a place like that? Does the… er… United States… of…"

"You can just call it the U.S., Donny. It's a bit of a mouthful saying the whole name, I know."

"Er, thank ya kindly. Does the U.S. have any farms like one what I came from?" Donnel asked, curiously. He was listening to what I said intently.

To be honest, it was refreshing giving that much information about my homeland. Sure, the homesickness was still in the back of my mind, but I doubted that would ever go away.

I just had to be careful about what I talked about. If it got too personal, I risked breaking down again. I didn't wanna do that in front of Donnel, or anyone for that matter.

Despite my better judgment, I answered Donnel's question.

"Tons of them," I replied, taking a sip of water. "Mostly warm for most of the year down south. Although the areas around the Great Lakes is probably better for growing stuff, so I heard before I left." I turned back to Donnel. "However, the U.S. is  _very_ different from Ylisse, Donny. More different than any of you will know."

"Gosh, I'll take yer word for it," Donnel said, rubbing the back of his head. "Like I did say, ain't never been outside the ol' town before. Nice to know there be some things that don't change no matter where ya go."

I nodded quietly. Didn't know exactly what Donnel was getting at, but I suppose some things  _never_  changed, no matter where you went.

The things that were different did outnumber the things that were the same, though.

We stayed in a comfortable silence for a while after that. Until I noticed Donnel playing with something in his right hand.

"Hey, Donny," I called, getting his attention. "What's that you got there?"

"Er, this?" He held up a rock. It gleamed gray in the light from the oil lamps. "Jus' a keepsake. Er…  _Memento_? Yeah, last thing my da ever did give me."

I held out my hand. "Can I see it?"

"E-Er, ya sure? I mean, I like it lots, but I don't reckon you'd find it very interesting."

"Just wanna see it." I paused. "…I'll give it back. I promise."

Donnel looked down at the stone, before reluctantly giving it to me. "Promise you'll give it back?"

"Promise." I confirmed, feeling the stone in my grasp.

It was a bit of an asshole thing of me to do, I had to admit. But for some reason, I just really wanted to touch it. To take a closer look at it. It wasn't a very special stone, aside from sentimental value. Granite, probably.

I gave it back to Donnel. "Your das, huh? Did he like collecting stones?"

"Yup!" Donnel replied, putting the stone back in his pack nearby. "Da always did like collectin' stones and such. Gave this one to me jus' before that rotten Roddick came 'round." Donnel looked to me. "Say, how's your da, Alex? I just been talkin' 'bout mine, but whatta 'bout where ya come from? How's he?"

I froze for a moment, like a deer caught in headlights. That was it. That was one of those questions I planned to steer away from. Nonetheless, I answered Donnel again. Maybe out of respect for trusting me with his father's last gift.

I idly wondered if Donnel felt a bit homesick as well.

"He was, uh, good enough," I replied awkwardly, before backtracking. "Shit, that makes it sound like I was demanding as hell. No, he was a good dad. Wasn't always around, being with the army and shit. But… he made sure me, my sister, and my mom were all taken care of. Huh, that's strange. The last time I saw him, I think he was going off to training…"

I trailed off.

Donnel fidgeted a bit in his seat. I didn't know what was going through that pot-shielded head of his. His next question, however, caught me off guard.

"Do ya… ever miss home?" He asked quietly.

I looked him square in the eye. "I didn't think I would. But now that I'm here? All the time." I put a hand on his shoulder. "You miss home too, don't you? Your ma and all the other villagers, too."

Donnel looked down. "M-Maybe… just a bit."

"It's gonna be alright, Donny." I said as reassuringly as possible. "One day, we're both gonna go home with our heads held high, with accomplishments we could've only dreamed of under our belt. We're gonna go home goddamn  _heroes_ , understand? You got that to look forward to. So lets do our best 'til then, alright?"

Donnel sniffled a little before looking up. "Aw, that's just what I been needin' to hear, Alex! Not gonna let a lil' bit o' homesickness git in my way. Still gotta bring all sorts of glories home to ma!"

"Damn right you do!" I laughed.

The good vibes didn't last long. Only a moment after I cheered Donnel up, the barracks became awash with sound. The mess hall wasn't exactly the nexus of the barracks, but it did have quite a few places it led into and out of.

Vaike ran out of one door and into another. Sumia came in carrying a crate, apparently making sure to be extra careful as she only stumbled once. Miriel came in scribbling something in a notebook I'd never seen before. Long after lunch time, things became busy.

I shared a look with Donnel, before stopping Stahl. He didn't come in holding anything or doing something, but it was clear he was trying to get somewhere.

"Hey, hey Stahl!" I called, getting his attention. "The hell's going on? Everyone's scurrying all over the place like ants!"

Stahl's face was blank for a moment, before a look of realization dawned on him. "Oh gods! I  _knew_ I was forgetting something! I am  _so_ sorry, it's just that, well, there was this really good looking cake in the kitchens and I got a bit distracted-"

I waved my hand a bit. "Stay focused. I don't wanna know about that. Just tell me why everyone's running around like something's happening." I paused, mulling my own words over. "…Something happened, huh?"

"Ah… You could say that?" Stahl replied awkwardly. "Chrom told me to tell anyone here about it, but like I said…"

"Just…" I trailed off, my heartbeat intensifying. "Just tell me what's happening."

What he said made me feel like my stomach dropped into my pelvis.

"Themis has been attacked."

* * *

It occurred to me, on the way towards where Maribelle was being held, that the game never really elaborated on what Themis really was. The most I could recall was that it was a duchy, and that was it. Almost nothing was known about it beyond that, and after Chapter 5 and Maribelle and Ricken's recruitment, it was never mentioned again. As was typical, I never saw Ricken before we left, and I could not fathom why. I decided it wasn't important; I'd probably be meeting him soon anyway.

We left that afternoon, with wagons filled with supplies. There was one extravagant wagon surrounded by Pegasus knights in particular I avoided even looking at.

I didn't want to look the woman I was going to allow to die in the face.

Luckily for me, I was towards the front, guarding a whole different wagon.

"Hey. Heeeey! Alex, Lon'qu, are we there yet?"

Guarding the wagon holding Lissa was alright, even if she could be a bit much at times. Her normally cheery mood was a bit muted, though. Your best friend's health being unknown would do that to you.

"Gonna be another few hours, Lissa," I replied, looking at her head peering out from the covering. "Why're you even asking? We'll get there when we get there."

"I'm just worried, okay?" She said, frowning. That frown looked unnatural on her face. "Maribelle's my best friend. If something were to happen to her I don't… I don't know what I'd…!"

"Woooaah-kay, let's just stop that train of thought right there." I interrupted her. "First of all, Maribelle's gonna be fine. They're probably gonna ransom her or some shit like that. Secondly… Shit, Lon'qu, help?"

"No." The black-haired swordsman responded in a deep voice.

The message Gangrel was trying to send was clear to everyone, at this point. The circumstances of Maribelle's capture were sketchy on his side, and he must've known that. All in all, this entire thing was an absolute farce. It would end in a war, and I knew it. Everyone else, though? Especially Emmeryn? They wanted peace. Hell, even Chrom probably still wanted peace, even if he was angry with all the raiding going on.

If Emmeryn wanted to try and reason with someone with the moniker 'Mad King', she was free to.

_Might as well let her make her own decisions before she succumbs to gravity, huh?_

I regretted thinking that instantly. Emmeryn was just trying to make sure her people were not dragged into another conflict. Who could blame her, after what it put her and her family through the last time?

I decided to simply stop thinking about it and leave it at that.

I sighed. "Well, I shoulda expected that. Seriously, though. It's gonna be fine, Lissa."

"I hope so." She said, not looking at me. "At least I've got you two to talk to. I think I'd go  _crazy_ if I didn't have you two around." She retreated back into the wagon.

"Trust me, I know how you feel," I looked at Lon'qu. "Whaddaya say, chief? Happy to have someone to talk to?"

"I would prefer if I was alone," Lon'qu replied. "You speak too often."

I was trying to talk to Lon'qu, after I got over my initial apprehension. However, that was a bit difficult considering how curt he was. It didn't stop me from trying.

I marveled at that fact; just a couple months ago I would never approach someone for a conversation of my own volition.

"A real charmer, you are," I muttered, looking forward as we continued marching.

"Aw, he's not so bad, once you get used to him!" Lissa said, popping her head outside the covering again. "Chrom made him my bodyguard, did you know that? Once you get past that prickly surface he's just a softy, I'm sure of it! Like a blue cactus!" She leaned a little closer to him. "Ain't that right, Mr. Sourpuss?"

"M-Must you be so close?" He stammered, looking unnerved.

"But you're my bodyguard! Isn't it your job to be close to me at all times?"

"…Yes," Lon'qu relented. "I would still prefer it if you kept your distance. You make me… uncomfortable." He sighed. "I do not get paid enough for this…"

"Heh, it ain't so- Wait," I stopped, staring at Lon'qu. "You're… You're getting paid?"

"…Why would I not?" Lon'qu asked, raising a brow in a rare show of expression. "Do not tell me… Did you think you were not being paid for your service in the Shepherds?"

"Oh… That… Oh Gods-!" Lissa squealed, descending into a giggle fit.

It only occurred to me then that I'd been doing everything up to that point under the assumption that I was not being paid for it. I wasn't sure if that said something about my character or my intelligence.

Nonetheless, my face felt hot.

"Okay, look, I know it looks bad," I said nervously. "But I haven't gotten a check or a bank deposit or fuckin'  _anything_ so I just assumed- You have no idea what the hell I'm even talking about, do you."

Lon'qu facepalmed. "Even if I did, I would still consider you a fool."

"Ouch, that hurts, man," I replied sarcastically, holding a hand to my heart. "Right here. Oh, how you've  _wounded_ me."

"P-Please, s-stop! I c-can't, hah, I can't take this!" Lissa almost screamed, falling back into the wagon before she appeared again. "I-It's fine, Alex! You can just-just talk to Chrom when we get back! Hehehe. Oh Gods, I'm crying…" She murmured, still chuckling a bit and wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up." I snorted. "Unfortunately for all of you, my feelings grow back at twice the rate of a normal man."

"Then it appears you've traded intelligence for emotional endurance." Lon'qu remarked.

I  _felt_ that one. I had to resist the urge to stagger like I'd been slapped.

"Alright, that's just a bit too much," Lissa said. "…That was really funny, though. Hehe!"

Despite the verbal lashing I'd been dealt, I couldn't help but smirk again as Lissa giggled. It was better than her being all sad and mopey about Maribelle, even if she was still decently cheerful even then.

I wished I could've been as bright as she was. Unfortunately, that was just not possible.

* * *

The march to where Maribelle was took several days. Due to the wildly different environments of Ylisse and Plegia, the mountain range earned its name of 'Shriekwind Mountains'. The wind was nearly intolerable; it felt like it was cutting through your skin. It was difficult for the pegasus knights that came with us to even scout ahead because of the wind.

Nonetheless, we crossed into Plegia with little incident. The sun became near scorching during the day, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world. I was able to have my conversation/cheering up session with Lon'qu and Lissa after all.

I did not know what to expect from Emmeryn and Gangrel's confrontation. That is, the area it takes place in. As far as I could remember, it was just a nondescript cliff, with several flat areas and pathways leading up, with couple forts that spawned enemy troops every once and a while.

Well, there was a cliff, but that was about where the similarities ended.

We arrived about late afternoon. The sun was just beginning to set, although the mountains that surrounded us made it much darker. The air was hot, but not wet, with dry grass covering most of the available ground.

A much better environment than Southern Ylisse, but not by much.

Of course, it didn't matter how much better the environment was since we were staring down an army of glaring Plegians. They didn't look much different from the guards of Bellator, although they were less savage. They still wore furs and a couple seemed to graft animal bones to their armor, but their stance was different. More… resolute? I didn't have a word for it, but it did give me an entirely different impression.

And, on a jagged precipice that brought to my mind the tower of Sauron, stood Gangrel. Considering the distance, I could not make out his exact features, but I could see his extravagant attire. The fabric around his neck almost made him look like some sort of flower, and his yellow cape waved in the hot Plegian wind. Atop his brow sat a twisted crown, glinting in the last available light.

Even from where I was, however, I could see his smile. It was the smile of an absolute lunatic.

The wagons came to a stop, with Emmeryn's towards the front. I moved forward a bit in case things went sour, which I knew they would. Chrom was right by Emmeryn's side, and the glare he sent towards Gangrel could melt steel.

"Ah, this brilliant radiance, how long it has been since an Exalt has graced us with their brightness!" He covered his face, peeking through his fingers. "I fear I must shield my eyes lest I be blinded by your very presence!  _Bwahahahaha_!"

"King Gangrel," Emmeryn greeted courteously. "I have come for the truth of this unfortunate incident between our nations."

"Oh? There are a great many  _incidents_  between our nations, Your Saintliness!" Gangrel replied. "Hmm, but I think you're referring to the one that involved that little blonde brat, are you not? Aversa, what do we have to say about this  _incident_?"

A sultry voice rang out from his side, as a woman came into view.

_Aversa. God damn._

"Why, I'm afraid we cannot call this a simple incident, My King." Aversa said, a finger to her chin in a demented thinking pose.

"Your name is Aversa, milady?" Emmeryn asked politely.

"Indeed," Aversa replied, smirking and performing a small curtsy. "That is the name given to me."

Emmeryn nodded. "Of course. Now, tell me, is Maribelle unharmed?"

"Is that the little blonde  _rat's_  name? The name fits the personality, it seems, what with all that snootiness she throws around!" Gangrel cackled. "She gave our men quite a tongue-lashing when we tried to politely escort her back to the border! But do not fret, Your Brightness, the little guttersnipe has not been harmed.  _Yet._  Aversa, if you would?"

"Yes, My King." Aversa said, snapping her fingers.

Nearby, to the right of the precipice, Maribelle was brought into view. A Plegian soldier practically hauled her up to a cliff's edge, and he kept her still as she struggled.

I think the biggest mistake the soldier made was ungagging her.

"Unhand me this  _instant_ , you uncouth brute! I will not be manhandled by the likes of you!" She hissed, still struggling against her bonds.

"My, what a feisty one!" Gangrel remarked. "Truly only an Ylissean could be capable of such verbal savagery!"

"M-Maribelle!" Lissa shouted, before being held by Vaike from running towards her. "Are you okay!? Did they do anything to you!?"

"Lissa, my treasure! Is that you!?" Maribelle yelled back, her gaze meeting Lissa's. "Thank the Gods, you're here!"

"How  _touching_ ," Aversa drawled. "Unfortunately, we must keep moving. My Lords and Ladies, this woman crossed the Ylisse-Plegia border under the cover of night and without our consent. What's more appalling, is the fact that she injured the Plegian guards who only sought to escort her home safe and sound."

" _Lies!_ " Maribelle interjected viciously. "This hag speaks nothing but lies! Did they not teach you the meaning of  _truth_  in whatever horrid-crone school you attended!?"

"…Why, but she has such a way of speaking, does she not? No manners whatsoever. Such vicious creatures simply must be caged."

"Such a fiery temper, indeed." Gangrel agreed. "A temper that only further attests to her guilt! These transgressions will call for quite a weighty punishment. And if she were somehow an Ylissean spy? Gods, it would take quite a  _considerable_ act of good faith to forgive this little  _incident_ , Your Radiance!"

"I have done no such thing! It is  _they_ who should confess!" Maribelle claimed vehemently. "They are the ones who invaded and  _decimated_ Themis! When I attempted to intervene, they dragged me across the border!" For a moment, Maribelle's eyes seemed to stare into nothing. "Let the charred homes and plundered shops of my home serve as proof."

_God damn. This entire thing really is just a farce. And it's completely pointless._

"That only proves that Ylisse has a nasty bandit problem," Gangrel rebutted, waving a hand lazily. "Something that I have heard oft of late. Indeed, I shall weep bitter tears into my pillow tonight for your razed duchy. Truly it is a tragedy!"

"Your Grace, please! You must believe me!" Maribelle pleaded.

"Peace, Maribelle, I believe you," Emmeryn said calmly, still looking like the picture-perfect ruler.

_A picture-perfect ruler you are going to let die._

I shook my head as the scene continued. The bloodshed was getting closer and closer. My heart felt like a jackhammer in my chest as my hand rested on my sword's pommel. This was it.

Emmeryn stared Gangrel in the eye. "King Gangrel, I request that you release this woman from your custody at once. Surely we can sort this out without the need for hostages?"

"No apology? Not even a nice letter?" Gangrel replied, his volume steadily rising. "Why should I even bother with parley? I am within my rights to behead this vicious animal and be home in time for supper!"

"Black-hearted dastard!" Chrom snapped.

"Control your personal attack dog, Your Brilliance. Before he causes a diplomatic  _incident_." Gangrel said.

Chrom growled but otherwise remained silent.

"Now then, Your Gracefulness…" Gangrel's mad gaze returned to Emmeryn. "Perhaps we could arrange a trade? If you give me the Fire Emblem, I'll let this savage beast go. Quite a bargain, is it not?"

Emmeryn look perplexed. "You… You would ask for Ylisse's sacred treasure? Why?"

"Because  _I_ know the legend!" Gangrel claimed, a manic look spread across his face. "The Fire Emblem is the key to having anyone's wishes fulfilled! I have desired it for years!  _Years!_  And yet, my birthday comes and goes every year, and not a single gift from Ylisse! How rude…"

"…The Fire Emblem serves one purpose, King Gangrel: To save the world in its darkest hour. Would you claim to have such a noble wish?" Emmeryn asked.

"Why, Your Gracefulness, I want the most noble wish of all!" Gangrel replied, his voice taking on a more sinister tone. "I want vengeance! I want the grisly end of every last Ylissean! Who else among us could claim to have a more noble and true wish!?"

Emmeryn blinked. "…Excuse me?"

"Oh  _please_ , no need to play the fool!" Gangrel began. "Surely you could not have forgotten already. The sins of your father haunt you even now! Do you remember how he named our people heathens!? How his crusade cut a bloody swath throughout the land!? Shall I paint you a picture of the burning homes, the broken families, the orphaned children!? Oh, wait, perhaps I should send you a letter containing all the words he said? How he demanded our extermination all because of a nightmare!? Truly the mind of an Ylissean is a small one, to forget the history of its own atrocities!"

… _That's… that's a whole lot more information than the game gave…_

"…I have never denied our past wrongdoings as a nation, King Gangrel." Emmeryn rebutted calmly. "But I have done everything in my power to make sure that they are not repeated. Ylisse is now a realm of peace."

"Ylisse is a halidom of hypocrisy and denial!" Gangrel replied, his smirk now gone and replaced by a snarl. "Your nation is undeserving of such a sacred treasure. Give the Fire Emblem to me!"

"No, Your Grace!" Maribelle interrupted. "I'd rather die than be used as a bargaining chip by these madmen!"

"Maribelle, no…!" Emmeryn said, barely above a whisper.

Gangrel rolled his eyes. "All of this talk. Just talk-talk-talk-talk! The time for  _talking_ is done, Your Luminosity! I will have the Fire Emblem, even if I have to pry it from your bright, dead hands! Men, move!"

_Ah shit, here we go again._

I grabbed my sword's grip. Beads of sweat fell down my face as I prepared myself for the battle that was about to break out.

Several Plegians moved towards Emmeryn's position, their faces grim. Chrom didn't allow them to get very far. Falchion slashed through one soldier, sending his bloody body to the ground in a heap.

" _Don't take a single step closer! Unless you want to suffer the same fate!_ " Chrom snarled, a bloodied Falchion aimed at the other soldiers.

Gangrel cackled. The sound of it sent a chill up my spine as the other Shepherds were drawing their weapons and tomes. "Now, that was a declaration of war if I ever saw one… A long, bloody war that will bleed every last one of you Ylisseans dry! Bwahahaha!"

"Everyone, protect Emmeryn!" Robin barked nearby. I didn't even know where he was. "Miriel, stay in the rear, and burn anyone who gets close. Everyone who can use a weapon, surround the Exalt! Don't let them through!"

The battle was on.

* * *

I breathed heavily as another Plegian fell to the ground, a pool of blood quickly forming under his body, my sword was plunged directly through his chest. All around me were the sounds of battle, louder than any rock concert. It rang hollowly in my ears. The sound of lance against sword, sword against axe, axe against lance… It was almost enough to make me go mad with panic.

The dry ground was dotted with bodies – thankfully none from our side, yet. Fire erupted from a few bushes, lighting up the quickly darkening world. Night was nearly upon us.

It looked like  _hell_.

In a brief moment of respite, I surveyed my surroundings. Like I said, it was hell. Emmeryn was surrounded by a vast majority of the Shepherds, me included. Not a single Plegian soldier broke through our line, and they were beginning to run out of manpower. There was, however, one  _big_ problem.

Ricken and Maribelle were nowhere to be found.

" _Robin!_ " I shouted, my voice nearly drowned out by the battle around me. " _Robin, where are you!?_ "

I found the white-haired tactician nearby, a ball of Thunder frying the life out of a Plegian who then fell to the ground, twitching. " _I am a little busy at the moment!_ " He yelled back.

I ran towards him, only to have my way cut off by another fighter. Unlike bandits, he did not sneer, or shout. He merely raised his axe and tried to behead me.

It was oddly refreshing.

I blocked it, the axe embedding itself in the wood of my shield. Out of instinct, I kicked the soldier in the stomach, knocking him back a few paces without his weapon. Uncaring of the axe inside my shield, I slashed and stabbed at him.

He slumped to the ground, battered and bloody. The way the fading light reflected off his face made him look like he was in a painting.

… _Yeah, I still don't like this._

Shaking away my own complicated feelings, I zeroed in on my original objective. Robin had abandoned his tome in favor of a sword. He deftly avoided the charge of a Plegian, and the next moment said Plegian's head rolled on the ground.

I blinked. Robin was…  _really_ good.

I approached him quickly, just before a Plegian attempted to stab him with his spear. I shouted something unintelligible, distracting him just long enough for Robin to stab him through the chest.

I was breathing pretty hard, and it took me a moment to get under control. "R-Robin… where is Maribelle?"

Robin looked at me incredulously. "The middle of a battle seems an odd place to do a headcount. We need to focus, Alex!"

"Yeah, I know!" I replied, looking around wearily. "I'm just worried, alright? She's Lissa's best friend, for God's sake-  _Oh shit!_ " I screamed as an axe narrowly avoided me. Robin was quick to react as an orb of Thunder struck the Plegian in the chest. The smoking body joined a good portion of his comrades.

"My point has been proven," Robin commented, crackles of electricity still sparking in his palm. "And I see yours, as well. Give me a moment."

He looked atop the cliff. My gaze trailed his, and a moment later I saw a gust of wind send several Plegian troops to a messy, bloody death. I winced as they hit the ground.

"That mystery has been solved," Robin remarked. "Sully! Over here!"

The red-haired cavalier was busy stabbing a Plegian soldier through the chest, but as soon as she was done with that, she was upon us. "Robin! Gods, I'm a bit busy, ya know!?"

"So I can see," He replied. "However, it appears Maribelle is in a rather tight spot. I need you and Alex to help her fend off the soldiers that have her and her savior cornered."

"W-Wait, savior?" I asked, confused. "You mean…"

"I saw a mage – Ricken, I believe it was? – help free her." Robin explained quickly. "Although I was certain Chrom told him to stay behind before we left. A good thing he came along anyway, in this case." He looked back to Sully. "The rest of us will remain here to protect Emmeryn. Go.  _Quickly._ "

"Alright, alright, I hear ya. Protect Miss Snooty-pants, got it." She looked to me. "Hop on."

"R-Right." I stuttered, grabbing her hand as I clumsily sat behind her on the horse. I continued to marvel at the strength of horses here. Just how the hell did its spine not snap in half?

At least I wasn't on a Pegasus. Sumia was busy swinging in and out of the battle, as were the other Pegasus knights.

"Alright, ya all set back there?" I nodded. "Then let's ride!"

The next minute was, in a word,  _exhilarating_. It had been months since I'd rode on a horse, so I wasn't exactly the best prepared for it. I weathered it well enough, given the circumstances. A few Plegians attempted to cut us down while we were travelling up the foot path, but Sully's horse was an absolute  _monster_. She made expert use of her lance to impale Plegians whenever they got to close. The most I was able to do was slash a man through the side as we passed him. Even after all that time training, I was still almost nothing compared to Sully.

It was expected. But it was also disappointing.

I didn't dwell on it for long, but it was there.

We were at Maribelle and Ricken's position within a minute, although it felt like much longer. Maribelle was easy to spot, even if she wasn't riding a horse. Ricken, however, was even more easy to spot. He was easily one of the shortest people I'd seen, children notwithstanding. Although, it wouldn't be too far off to say that Ricken was basically a child. He wore a blue mage robe, along with the same ridiculous hat that Miriel had. He was fending off several Plegian soldiers all on his lonesome, with nothing but an Elwind tome, if my game knowledge wasn't failing me. However, he looked absolutely  _exhausted_. And there was only so much Maribelle could do, considering she had no means of attack.

In other words, we arrived just in time.

Sully let out a war cry as she charged the enemy. The first wasn't able to react in time before her lance found itself roughly between both his lungs. I leapt off of Sully's horse, stumbling a little as momentum kept me going.

I quickly gained my footing, though, and charged as well.

I found one Plegian still finding it difficult understand what exactly was happening. My blade slashed through his stomach. He fell to the ground, clutching at his opened belly, moaning. My sword pierced his heart, silencing him.

… _Stone cold._

It was slightly easier. I rationalized that the scenario made it so. After all, this was technically the first battle of an all-out  _war_. You couldn't afford to ponder the morality of taking lives in that case. This was demonstrated when the soldiers fought back. I'd forgotten that my shield still had an axe in it, and so was a bit unprepared for when another one basically broke it apart.

Luckily, the battle was  _finally_ winding down. Only a few Plegians remained, and they looked like they would take off at any second. I slashed my sword at the man who broke my shield, where it found it found itself lodged into his neck. He fell to the ground with a thump, lightly gurgling on his own blood.

Unnerved by the sight, I put him out of his misery.

I looked up just in time to see Ricken cast Elwind one final time, sending an unfortunate soldier off the cliff to his grave.

And, just like that, it was over.

Anxiously, I walked to the cliffs edge to see the battle below. What few Plegian troops remained scuttled off, carrying wounded comrades with them when they could. The victory cry that echoed from the battlefield raised my spirits up a bit, making me sigh in relief.

"Is-is it over?" A high-pitched voice said from nearby. I turned to the direction it came from to see Ricken. His legs were visibly shaking underneath his robe.

"Yeah… Yeah, I think so," I replied, looking back towards the battlefield. "About damn time-!"

I stopped once I saw a few, much larger corpses. The bodies of  _wyverns_.

_How… How the hell did I not notice those!?_

Even dead, they looked badass, what with all the scales and wings and shit. It was one step away from being a motherfucking  _dragon_.

"Hell yeah, what he said!" Sully agreed, laughing. "'Bout damn time! Been a while since I was in a battle like that. First time for you, though, huh?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, laughing anxiously. "Heh. Guess so. I'm a bit… fizzled out at the moment."

"Aw, don't worry 'bout that!" She replied. "You'll get used to it! Hell, I think ya did pretty good."

"…Fuck, thanks Sully," I breathed out. "That actually meant a lot."

"Don't mention it. Seriously, don't. I'm not in the mood for all these mushy feelings and shit. Let's go check on our little friends then, yeah?"

I nodded. "Emphasis on 'little'."

"H-Hey!" Ricken whined. "I-I'm still growing! I'll be tall just like you all, one day!"

"Yeah, sorry about that. Like I said,  _fizzled_." I said. "Now, you both okay?"

"Despite the odds, I am fine," Maribelle replied. "Now tell me, is my darling Lissa hurt whatsoever?"

"Er…No? Last I checked." I said slowly, unable to look Maribelle in the eye.

"Gods, you cannot even look me in the eye as you say that! I must find her at once!"

I didn't know how to interact with Maribelle, and this could not be stressed enough. It was the main reason I sought out Sumia's help instead of hers. She ran gracefully down the foot path. If she was running as fast as I thought she was, it wouldn't take her long to get to the battlefield.

"M-Maribelle! Wait!" Ricken called out, following her.

… _And there's two._

"…Well, shit. Guess that solves that problem, then," Sully commented, climbing onto her horse. "I really coulda rode them down there on ol' Cain, too. Sucks for them." She looked to me. "Wanna ride down?"

I looked around. "Nah, think I'll stay here until we're ready to roll out."

Sully shrugged. "Fine by me. See ya later!"

She rode down the path, a faint cloud of dusting following her.

I sighed, my mask breaking ever so slightly as I ran my hands down my face. I walked to the edge of the cliff, looking out over the battlefield. The sun set a while ago, and the clear air allowed the nighttime sky to show brilliantly over the carnage below. A few fires still burned here and there, illuminating the battlefield in a yellow glow. I simply stared at the body-filled land, looking into nothing.

… _This is only gonna happen again. Best get used to it, boy scout._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time writing an open battle scene like this. Hopefully it didn't come across as too stilted.
> 
> Beyond that, though, I like this chapter. Alex is still a rookie, but he's not going to be cut down within an instant anymore. Gives me a lot more room to work with when it comes to fight scenes.
> 
> Beyond that, I don't have much to say. Chapter 9'll be uploaded next week and by God is it a big one. Probably the biggest chapter I've written so far. I'll even put a little theme in it like I always used to. For old time's sake, I guess. One of the few things I still like about all my old fics.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord server: https://discord.gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Anyways, hoped you enjoyed! See ya next time!


	9. Slaughterhouse

A thought occurred to me as I paced from corner to corner in my room in Castle Ylisse.

_Remember how you used to do this at home? Back then, you just did it because you were bored. Now? You're doing it because you're too nervous. Too full of energy. It won't help, boy scout. It'll just amp you up even more._

I sighed as I conceded the point to my inner voice, stopping in my tracks.

The return trip to Ylisstol was just as brutal as the first time. However, unlike last time, it had this depressive atmosphere about it. The thought of war clouded many of the Shepherds minds, except for the rowdiest of them. Even if I had known it was going to happen, that pressure got to me too. The thought of  _fighting_  in a war brought back unpleasant memories of my dad.

I felt a shiver up my spine as I recalled one particularly vivid memory before stamping it back down like so many before it.

I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to keep my heart rate down.

Once we'd finally made it back, Chrom made a decision that both surprised and made sense to me. We were to stay in Castle Ylisstol while our leaders prepared and sketched out a plan of attack. In other words, we were on constant standby, ready to be pulled at a moment's notice. It wasn't too bad; the castle staff were by all means very accommodating, and there were plenty of rooms for the entirety of the Shepherds. It's just that it made my already dangerously high anxiety levels go through the roof.

If we were all there, it would be a perfect explanation as to why your units were with you for the attempted assassination of Emmeryn.

I cursed under my breath. Foreknowledge was a bitch.

As I saw the sun set through the curtained window, I attempted once more to calm myself down. First off, there was no guarantee the assassination would be carried out that night. Secondly, to support the first point, we could have been stationed at the castle for who knew how long. Thirdly…

Actually, that was it.

I groaned, slapping my forehead. "You're a fucking idiot, you know that Alex? A  _fucking idiot_ …"

Self-deprecation aside, I'd made my anxiety problem even worse.

"Calm down, moron," I murmured to myself. "You've made it this far, right? You'll get through this. I know it."

There was a knock at my door, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I was getting better at suppressing my reactions to surprises, but only when it came to vocalization; I still  _jumped_ when I was spooked.

Gritting my teeth and shaking my head for the umpteenth time, I called out: "Who is it?"

It took a few moments before a squeaky voice on the other side spoke. "Erm, it's, uh, it's Ricken. May I come in?"

_The hell are you doing here?_

I stepped up to my door and opened it, revealing the robed teen mage fidgeting just outside. He jumped slightly when I opened my door so suddenly, but he quickly regained his composure.

"Need something, kid?" I asked exhaustedly, rubbing my eyes. "Or did you just come here to see my pretty face?"

"…not a kid…" Ricken mumbled under his breath, before looking me in the eye. "May I come in, please?"

I leaned my head forward and looked both ways down the extravagant halls. No one was to be found. I looked at Ricken blankly for a few moments before grunting and moving away from the door, allowing him to walk in.

He took that as a yes and entered.

I had no idea what in the actual hell Ricken of all people was coming to me for. There had been no trace of him since I'd joined the Shepherds over three months before. It had been a blast coming up with all sorts of theories as to why. Was he studying for something? Was he dead? The theories didn't stop. And then he finally stood before me.

I was curious, to say the least.

"Alright, you're here," I pointed out, sitting on the side of a bed and resting my head in my hands. "What do you want?"

"A-Ah, sorry!" He squeaked. Was I really that intimidating to him? "I just… Hah, I just wanted to say I am sorry."

I was silent, raising a brow.

"Er, that is, sorry for getting myself into a situation that made you and Sully have to come for me and Maribelle…" He continued. "It… It was reckless of me. I know that. And like I said, I'm sorry. I just… couldn't  _not_ do something!"

I held a hand up. "Okay, slow down. The hell brought this on. Did somebody get on your case or something?"

He stayed quiet for a second. "Robin… s-said a lot about how I was reckless and foolhardy and that I should apologize to you and Sully for putting you at risk."

I groaned, hiding my face behind my hands. Truthfully, I understood why Ricken did what he did, and in this case, it ended in our favor. If Robin gave the lecture I thought he did, it was almost certainly to curb whatever reckless tendencies Ricken was developing. Making sure the next time he tried being a hero it wouldn't end in tragedy and all that. In short, just because it ended well this time, didn't mean it would end well next time.

A notion I wholeheartedly agreed with. Ricken was still basically a kid.

_Ignore the fact that you're only nineteen yourself, boy scout. Technically eighteen when you joined up._

"Fucking hell, Robin…" I murmured. "Alright, I can see some logic behind that. Did you at least go to Sully first?"

"E-Er…" Ricken stuttered. "Yes? I don't understand why that is important."

"Because she did a whole helluva lot more than I did," I replied. "But whatever. I think I have something to say to you, Ricken."

"W-What is it? I didn't do something else wrong, did I?" Ricken asked worriedly.

I sat up straight and stretched my arms. "It's not so much anything you did wrong, just a little friendly advice, alright? Nothing serious. Please stop shivering; it's not Winter yet."

"Ah, sorry."

"It's fine, just… yeah." I took a deep breath. "What you did was reckless. It ended well this time, but who's to say it will end well the next time you pull something? I'm not gonna lie to you, Ricken, because you seem like a good kid, but I really don't think you should be out there fighting."

Ricken took a few steps back, looking like I'd smacked him upside the head. "W-What? But why? I know, I know! I was reckless! I did something I wasn't supposed to do. But I saved Maribelle! And you even saw me! I can hold my own in a fight! Why  _can't_  I fight!?"

I massaged my temples as his voice rose. "Ricken, how old even are you?"

"I'm fifteen!" He replied, puffing out his chest. "I know it doesn't look like it. But I'll be tall like you all! As soon as I hit my growth spurt…"

"Back where I came from, you couldn't even enlist in the military until you were eighteen," I said. "You're a kid, Ricken. Enjoy it while you can, for fuck's sake! And if you really wanna help with the war and the fighting the Shepherds do, do it from the back, from the sidelines. That's just my two cents, anyway."

Ricken's expression grew bitter for a few seconds. "With all due respect, mister, you're far away from where you come from, aren't you?"

I had to suppress a grimace. "Why is it when someone says 'with all due respect', they really mean 'kiss my ass'?" I tried my best to not glare at Ricken. "Not hard to see I'm a foreigner, I guess. Still, that was uncalled for."

Ricken looked guilty. He didn't even look me in the eye. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… I'll just be going now."

"Yeah," I grunted. "You do that. Remember what I said."

Ricken quickly shuffled out of my room, not even giving me a backwards glance. I heard his footsteps echo down the empty hallway from where I was sitting.

So much for getting along with all the Shepherds.

Despite what I'd said, I knew I was the asshole in that conversation. What right did I have to lecture Ricken? Maybe it was my nerves getting to me. Or maybe I was just always that way.

Both wouldn't surprise me in the slightest.

"Great. You're an asshole, Alex," I mumbled angrily to myself. "What right did you have to say all that shit?"

I debated on what I should do to pass the time. Didn't really feel like going outside or talking to anyone considering how my conversation with Ricken went. I groaned again, feeling a headache starting. I took one more look outside the window, seeing the sun go below the horizon.

In the end, I decided to sleep. The thought being that I might as well get as much rest as I could before we were attacked by assassins.

Of course, telling everyone about said assassination never crossed my mind.

* * *

I didn't wake up with a start, nor did I wake up all happy and shit. It was slow, groggy, and the pounding in my head made me want to just press my face further into the nice pillow my head laid on. I couldn't even remember if I'd had a dream or not; all I had was a vague sense of anger and sadness, but I pretty much had that all the time, so it was nothing too out of the ordinary.

I opened my eyes so fast that my eyelids were in danger of tearing off my face once I realized what could've been happening at that moment.

I tried to not make any noise as I slowly lifted myself off of the bed. The nighttime lights of Ylisse and the Castle were the only things I could see outside my window. My headache refused to go away, and as I gathered the scattered pieces of armor that I'd spread around the room like an animal, it only intensified. Every time I bent down, it felt like my brain cells were having a fucking party. Nonetheless, I gritted my teeth and dealt with it.

Once I had everything on, I grabbed my sword and took a peek outside.

The decorated hallway was completely void of light; all the lamps were out. It was so quiet I could even hear my own footsteps echo.

I tried to keep my breathing level as I looked from side to side, peering into the blackness. My heartrate increased, feeling like my heart would burst out of my chest at any moment. The silence was the thing getting to me. It was an unnatural silence, the kind you only heard in soundproofed rooms or when something horrible was about to happen.

Then I heard it. It sounded like an explosion coming from outside, and then a scream.

" _Fuck…!_ " I whispered, grimacing. I tiptoed out of my room, inwardly cursing everything in existence.

It was a dumb decision. Visibility was near-zero, and any assassin worth his or her salt could have easily slashed my throat from behind. Hell, I wasn't even sure me going forward on my tiptoes was quiet; it felt like every step I took was a bomb going off. I went through hallway after dark hallway, searching several rooms, completely and utterly lost in the labyrinth that was Castle Ylisse.

I didn't know the place very well. I could've been travelling in circles for all I knew.

My plan was simple: rendezvous with the rest of the Shepherds, or wake up any Shepherds that were still sleeping, and fend off the assassins. Hopefully, Lucina would do her thing, Chrom wouldn't be injured, and Emmeryn would continue to live until I let her die.

My lips curled back into a snarl as that thought crossed my mind again. And like so many other times before, I buried it.

I continued to walk those halls for several minutes, until I heard footsteps coming from around a corner.

" _Fucking… hell…!_ " I murmured, getting behind a corner. I remarked in my head how often I took out enemies like that. Except when I was on an open battlefield. Even then, though, I relied more on surprise tactics than anything else.

_Some hero you are, huh?_

I could have gotten behind a door. It would have been simple, and easily allowed me to get past the several people coming down the hallway. However, something in me just didn't  _want_ to cower behind a door waiting for assassins to kill my friends.

Like many other decisions that night, it was a stupid decision.

To their credit, the people coming up the hallway were almost completely silent; if it wasn't for the quietness, I would've never heard them. The only sounds were the distant shouts and clashing of weapons I'd gotten so used to recently.

I struck the instant they passed the corner's threshold.

I shouted, swinging my sword wildly as I finally got a good look at them.

There were two. They were dressed conservatively, with robes and bits of armor patched on in a few places. The moment I came upon them swinging and screaming, they recoiled in surprise.

_Mercenaries._

I was just glad they weren't people I knew. That would've ended badly.

My sword slashed through one's gut, going just below the chest plate he was wearing. Blood splattered to the floor, as he shrieked like a howler monkey. The other was stunned for only a few more seconds before yelling and attempting to stab me in the chest. My new shield didn't allow that to happen as I pushed forward, prioritizing aggression over defense. He tried to get past my shield, but a quick stab to the leg stopped him from doing anything for a moment.

His friend, whose gut I had opened, was grabbing at the wound like he was trying to keep something in. I slashed my sword across his throat, and he fell to the ground a second later like a puppet with its strings cut.

I yelped as the other one tried to gut me with his own blade. It hurt, but it didn't get through the armor there, thankfully. Shouting, I stabbed him through the stomach, it being a weak point in their armor and all.

I saw blood dribble out of his lips as I stabbed him again. And again. And again.

He fell to the ground like a sack of rotten potatoes.

I stood there for several seconds, taking deep breaths and making sure not to stare at the bodies of the two men.

… _Nope. Still not used to it._

It did mean I was getting better, though. At fighting. I took down two people all on my lonesome. I hated to admit it, but I felt a small amount of pride at that. Three and a half months ago I could barely wield a spear properly, let alone a sword.

Then again, it could just as easily be luck that I'd survived, and they didn't. The other one did try to disembowel me. Even with the armor, it still hurt like a sonuvabitch.

If I wasn't wearing armor, it could have either incapacitated me, or killed me outright.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a few seconds before opening them and going down the hallway the assassins came from. Even though they were more like those people we fought back at the first battle of the war.

I didn't get very far down that hallway before a robed man came around the corner with his head held high, like he belonged there. He noticed me instantly and regarded me with a sneer.

"Ah, another Ylissean dog that needs to be put down," He said, in a refined and gravelly voice. He raised his tome and his outstretched palm glowed with an unearthly fire. " _Burn in the name of the God of Destruction!_ "

_A mage. We really be doing this right now._

" _Fuck that!_ " I blurted out without thinking. I hesitated for just a moment, my brain caught between fight-or-flight at the sight of the flames the mage commanded. It gave him just enough time to cast the fireball that then hurtled towards me.

I finally regained control of myself and I flattened myself against the floor. The fireball soared above me and kept going. It smashed into the wall just behind me, exploding loudly and engulfing the wall in flames.

I whimpered looking at it, as I felt a few embers burn into some of my exposed skin. Thankfully, neither me nor my armor and clothes caught on fire. I looked towards the mage to see him smiling as his hand glowed once more.

_Okay, no more being indecisive or trying to play hero. Get the fuck outta there!_

I quickly scrambled back to my feet and ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction of the ungodly mage. My mind raced with images of me being charred to a crisp. I blinked beads of sweat away from my eyes as I ran, feeling the heat behind me.

Somewhere, deep down, I felt a small amount of envy. I wish I could do what the mage was doing.

It felt like I'd been running forever. I could feel the mage hot on my heels, so I kept going, hallway after hallway. Ran through a few rooms on my way. One of which had to have been the servant's quarters.

I tried to ignore the bodies I saw in there.

It wasn't much longer after that I ran into an issue. Three, large issues.

I rounded a corner and saw three mercenaries, standing around the corpses of several guards. I stopped, my mind blue screening at the sight of them. The instant they spotted me, they readied themselves, reaching for axes and sword and pointing them at me.

"…God… fucking…  _damnit!_ " I shouted, charging at them. Another of the many decisions that was made under rather poor circumstances.

I didn't get very far before fire exploded just next to me. The sudden heat and light startled me so bad I fell to the floor, and my sword skidded across the finely finished floor.

Together, the mage and mercenaries surrounded me.

"Wily, this one is," The mage said, regarding me like one might regard an insect. "I am unsure if Our Lord would even consider him a worthy sacrifice."

"Cripes… you guys and your 'Lord' talk," One of the mercenary's said with disgust. "Just lucky you're payin' us so much to go lootin' and killin' in this place."

"Mind your tongue, sellsword, lest I cut it out," The mage replied coolly, looking down to the mercenary. "You and your ilk should count themselves lucky that you stand on the precipice of history itself."

The mercenary waved his arm dismissively. "Uh huh. Whatever you say."

"Such insolence…" The mage growled.

My sword was too far away for me to try and grab without me being cut down in an instant. I could've tried to fight with my fists, but I felt something that kept me from doing that. I felt a vibration in the floor. Barely there. Just beyond the sound of bickering enemies, I could hear what sounded like… paws? It was hard to tell considering the four morons who had me cornered were talking really loudly.

I called them morons, and yet I was the one on the floor at their mercy.

_You've done that a lot, boy scout._

"Fools… I suppose I'll dispose of this tiny morsel and we shall be on our way," The mage stated, gathering fire in his hand. "If you step out of line, I will sacrifice your souls to Our Lord as well. Now," He looked at me, and smiled sinisterly. "Burn to ashes, pathetic whelp!"

I was frozen. It would be just like me to die not doing anything to prevent my own death.

Either way, I didn't die.

The sound of paws on the floor only grew in intensity as time went on. Eventually, just before the mage sent his fireball directly at me, I saw two red lights peer at us from the darkness.

It moved fast. Faster than anything I'd ever seen. The mage didn't have any time to react before a huge creature leaped out of the shadows and sent him to the ground. He screamed, screamed in such primal fear that I cringed. The mercenaries gasped and did nothing for several moments as the mage was quickly torn apart by tooth and claw.

What I saw in the dying light was a monster. It had the basic shape of a skinny rabbit, but it was  _massive_. Larger than any I'd seen. Two glowing red eyes that felt like they could see into your very soul peered from each side of its rabbit-like skull. Brown fur covered a majority of its body, with a lighter tan color covering its underbelly. Blood still covered most of it. Bristling muscle stretched taut over its bones, and I could see them move underneath the furry skin as its front legs tore into the mage, separating muscle from bone and turning the poor man into a bloody mess. He was still gurgling when the creature dug its snout into his throat and killed him.

… _Panne._

The mercenaries, perhaps a bit stupidly, attempted to kill her. Out of shock, or maybe pride, they charged all at once. Panne looked up and stood on her hind legs, making her appear bigger than them all, before she charged right back at them. The first mercenary attempted to cut her across the face, but Panne was too quick. She ducked under the blade, as if her body was made of water, before her front legs quickly mauled him. It was a quick death, unlike the mage.

The second mercenary attempted to get her from behind. This ended with him getting kicked with Panne's powerful hind legs, sending him hurtling into a wall. I heard his bones crack and blood splatter across the wall.

The last mercenary, with tears in his eyes, attempted to fight off the monster rabbit. He swung wildly, almost feebly, as Panne gently got closer, like a predator stalking its prey. Those red eyes of hers did not leave those of the surviving mercenary as she took step after step.

Having enough of it, the mercenary ran at her. A gored throat was his response as he guzzled on his own blood on the floor. I barely even saw her swipe her front paw forward.

The entire scene played out in front of me. It felt like I wasn't even there. Panne finally regarded me, and quietly, slowly approached me. Her taguel form was almost too much; it felt like I was about to pass out. It just looked so wrong, so  _unnatural_. And those eyes. They were the eyes of a monster.

She didn't stop until she was right in front of me, those goddamn eyes of hers felt like they pierced straight through to my soul. She sniffed me a few times, and I moved my head away as the smell of blood nearly made me vomit.

" _Hmph,_ " The taguel sniffed. " _You smell different from these other manspawn. Are you part of the Exalt's warren?_ "

"W-Warren?" I stuttered, almost too terrified to speak. "S-Shit, I mean, I kinda work for the Exalt's brother, which means I technically serve the Exalt, I guess…"

In the distance, I swore that I heard a sound similar to a sledgehammer smashing against a wall. Only amplified.

Panne didn't move for several seconds. " _Manspawn have such roundabout ways of speaking,_ " Panne remarked in that flanging voice of hers. I tried not to notice that her mouth wasn't even moving. She moved away from me as her form shifted. " _I am here to repay my warren's debt to the Exalt._ If you are so terrified that you cannot walk, you can stay here. You will merely slow me down otherwise."

Her voice went from flanged to normal-sounding in the span of a second, as Panne took on her less bestial form. Lines traced her green face, with long brown hair tied into braids falling across her chest. Rabbit like ears drooped down the side of her head. She wore simple leather clothing, although I wasn't sure how they got there. Probably just transformed with her.

_I don't even wanna know how that works._

I blinked, before climbing to my feet, using my arm to support myself. My legs shook not from exertion, but from fear. My left arm was lightly burned from the fireball the mage launched at me, but otherwise I was completely fine.

"N-No," I answered, causing her to tilt her head. "I mean, you're here to help us?"

Had to play the unknowing soldier somehow. Asking obvious questions was the beginning of that.

"Did I not say so?" Panne questioned back pointedly, folding her arms. "My warren owes the Exalt's family greatly. As its last surviving member, I intend to fulfill our promise. The honor of the taguel will not be stained by unpaid debts."

"…Right," I replied slowly, taking a deep breath. "Just wanted to confirm. I've been trying to find the Exalt and shit but I feel like I'm going in circles in this fucking place. Might as well go through this labyrinth with someone else, right?"

_Let's just forget that this woman can transform into the fucking Rabbit of Caerbannog._

"…If you must," Panne said, after staring at me with those blood red eyes of hers. "Be warned, manspawn. I will leave you behind if you are too slow."

I sighed, walking over to my sword and picking it up. I tried to ignore the four maimed bodies that were scattered. "Yeah, yeah. I'd honestly prefer it that way." A thought occurred. "Wait, can you… I dunno, smell the Exalt or something? It'd be a bit easier to find her that way."

Panne's eyes narrowed. "Is it in the nature of all manspawn to be so annoyingly inquisitive, or is this trait solely your own? I was making my way through your Castle-warren when I found you. The Exalt and those like her have a distinct scent, as my ancestors said. Now, do you intend to ask more questions, or shall we be on our way?"

I grimaced, subconsciously taking a step back at her agitated tone before shaking my head. "No, I don't. Let's go."

"Hmph."

* * *

What followed was a dead sprint through Castle Ylisse's halls. Panne stayed in her humanoid form, but even then, she was faster than me by a wide margin. I had to work to keep up with her at the best of times. It was also a little difficult when my eyes kept getting drawn to her little bunny tail. Bit of a conundrum to me on how the hell that was still there even after she transformed back.

Occasionally, I heard that same sound from before. Like a rockfall. I tried my best to ignore it.

We went past several rooms, all filled with bodies of guards and servants alike. Only a few corpses belonging to the mercenaries and mages that assaulted us peppered the rooms. The mess hall was the worst of it, though. Panne didn't even give it a second glance, but the smell almost made me throw up.

Castle Ylisse had turned into hell.

It felt like I was finally making progress, at the very least. We were probably almost to everyone's location if the growing intensity of the battle noises I heard were anything to go by. However, there was one last speed bump to get over.

"Sir, I found him! That brigand who threw down his weapon and tried to run!" Someone said.

"You did? Excellent! Bring him here. I want to look this scum in the eye." A stern voice replied.

Panne slowed down. "These manspawn smell as you do… Except one."

I panted, trying to catch my breath for a few moments before responding. "Y-Yeah, probably a few guards. Shit, lemme talk to 'em. We can use all the help we can get when we find the Exalt."

"As loathe as I am to admit it, you speak the truth." Panne responded. "I shall leave the talk to you; speaking with manspawn exhausts me."

We walked closer, the light of torches finally illuminating the ominous-looking walls. It wasn't long that we got close enough to see everyone.

A group of soldiers, all wearing the armor marking their station. One in particular stood above them, wearing heavier armor. He had blonde hair and dark blue eyes.

_Knight._

The guy they surrounded wore a cloak over a regular-looking tunic. A headband kept his orange hair from getting into his eyes. I could see a small stick protruding from his mouth. With all of these traits, it was a no brainer who the person the soldiers were aiming their pointy sticks at was.

_Motherfucking Gaius._

I immediately walked forward, catching the attention of the Knight.

"Hold! Stay where you are!" He ordered, brandishing a spear. "Do not take a single step forward lest I cut you down before you may draw your own arms!"

"…That was a bit of mouthful for you to say," I mumbled under my breath, before looking up. "Relax. I'm part of the Shepherds. Alexander, or just Alex, if you don't wanna say it completely. Tall, dark, and bloody over here is P- I-I mean, what  _is_ your name, ma'am?"

_Smooth._

"My name is Panne, manspawn." The taguel replied succinctly.

"Yeah, her name's Panne. She helped me and shit. So… stop pointing weapons at us?" I held my arms out, a nervous smile spread across my face.

The Knight stared at me for a good few moments, studying me. He lowered his spear, making me sigh in relief. "Yes, I remember you, now. You were in the mess hall earlier this evening. You had issues with table manners."

I cringed as that memory came screeching to the front of my mind. "Christ, and what an impression I've made, huh?"

"Indeed," The blonde-haired knight replied, with a small twitch at the edge of his lips. "I am Knight-Captain Edward Claive. I am in charge of the guard here at Castle Ylisse, or… what's left of it, that is." He finished, frowning.

I thought I'd heard the last name Claive before, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I walked forward. "That's… rough. If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"These  _dastards_  appeared out of nowhere, that's what happened!" Edward snarled, before regaining his composure. "Half my men were dead before we knew we were under attack. These mercenaries aren't the most skilled, but it's these thieves and dark mages that are the real killers. I can't even get word outside for aid; something always cuts down those who I send out, and I need every man I can get to reach the Exalt." He sighed, running a gauntleted hand down his face. "I just pray that the Exalt's guards yet live. Flight-Commander Phila was always more skilled and paranoid than I."

I attempted to speak, but a certain orange-haired thief cut me off.

"I'm still here, by the way." Gaius drawled. "I know it's really hard to miss me and all, considering how you fellas caught me."

I had to suppress a smirk. "Who's your friend?"

"A thief, sent to either raid the royal coffers or to assassinate the Exalt herself. I intend to put a stop to his crime spree here." Edward replied, raising his spear.

"Okay, look, friend," Gaius began. "Raid the coffers? Sure, I'd do that. Came in here thinking I  _was_ , and then Mr. Gangles comes in saying we're here to kill the Exalt. That's just not my style, right? The Exalt is a nice lady and all. Would never dream of harming a hair on her head."

Edward laughed humorously. "Indeed? And I should take your word for it, after you've thrown your lot in with these assassins? I think not. In fact, I think you should not speak another word, lest I lose what little patience I have left."

Obviously not a good situation for Gaius to be in. I had to think quick, or else he'd find Edward's pointy stick going straight through his face. Unfortunately, the only thing that came to mind was something that would need to be explained away later. It'd also make me seem a lot cleverer than I was, but that was neither here nor there. What mattered was getting Gaius out of there.

I looked down at Gaius, faking a confused expression before I lit up in recognition. "Wait… Holy shit, you're Gaius, aren't you?"

He stared up at me, eyes narrowed. "…Yeah? Why? Not gonna lie, you knowing my name makes me think I haven't been as careful as I should be lately."

"You know this man, Alexander?" Edward asked me, surprised.

I nodded, smiling. "Hell yeah, I do. Seen his face on some of those posters in downtown Ylisstol. He's… uh, a really good thief. You probably heard a few things about him a couple years ago."

"…Uh huh. Say, did they at least get my nose right this time? I swear, they never get that part right."

"Well,  _I_  was able to recognize you." I replied.

"…Oh! I recall a certain incident a couple years ago, back when I was a subordinate of the previous Knight-Captain," Edward said. "Damned thief broke into the treasury and was given immunity in exchange for ratting out his bosses. That was you!"

Gaius shrugged. "Hey, you guys should've guarded it better. And put better locks on those vaults. Hell, there's a lot of things you guys could've done. Taking candy from a baby wasn't as easy as getting into the treasury."

"The mouth on this thief," Edward remarked. "Is there a reason you revealed his identity?"

"…Well, yeah," I said after a brief moment of thought. "What I'm saying is that… just look at him. He's unarmed, claims to not want to attack the Exalt. At this point, killing him would be rather brutal, right? Also a wanted man. We should take him to the Exalt. And hell, who knows, we might be able to convince him to join our side."

_That last sentence was a bit on the nose, boy scout._

"…I fail to see how that correlates very much with his identity," Edward said, frowning. "Nonetheless, you would have me fight with a brigand at my side? I'd sooner accept a Grimleal mage as my brother-in-law. How would you even convince him?"

Gaius attempted to stand but looked up and slowly sat back down at the rapid approach of spears. "Heh, it's not too hard to get me on your side. Like I said, Emmeryn's a good person. If you were to say, sweeten the deal, I wouldn't mind fighting for her."

"Why waste time on this brigand? He could just steal money whenever he needs it," Edward said angrily. "…However, I do see some merit in your words. It would not do to murder a man who has not raised a weapon to me. We shall take him to the Exalt,  _unarmed_."

… _Well, your convincing skills need some work._

"…Oh. This is great. As sweet as black licorice." Gaius said as he got up.

"You should thank your lucky stars that Alexander has convinced me not to slay you where you stand, brigand," Edward growled. "Pray that the Exalt is more merciful than I would have been."

"Uh huh. He's not wrong," Gaius looked to me. "From the bottom of my black thieving little heart, thank you, Sailor."

"Uh, no problem?" I said awkwardly, making it sound more like a question. "I mean, I guess?"

Gaius chuckled. "Heh, anyway, any of you got a lollipop or something sugary? Could use a pick-me-up."

"Be quiet." Was Edward's response.

"…Manspawn are such strange creatures." Panne commented, stepping out of the shadows. "Your words are like the wind between leaves: nice, but utterly meaningless."

I nodded numbly as we ran once more, this time with a full squadron of guards and Gaius with us.

I was  _exhausted_.

Somewhere, off in the distance yet closer than before, was another  _crash_.

* * *

It felt like it took centuries, but we'd finally made it to the Shepherds, and by extension Emmeryn's, location. The light from oil lamps and torches was hard to miss.

"Wait, wait, wait! It's me! Alex! And… well, I guess you don't know who this is," I began, pointing at Panne. "But it's me! And this other guy- Edward, right!"

"Brilliantly put, Alexander." Edward said dryly.

"I'm tired, leave me alone."

Vaike, Miriel, and Virion were guarding an entrance, and the minute they saw us approaching from the darkness, they took aim; Vaike readied his axe, Virion nocked an arrow, and fire gathered in Miriel's hands and glinted off her glasses. Once we got closer and they saw us, however, they put them down.

"Gods, Alex? Eddy? We all thought you were goners!" Vaike said in disbelief.

"I am glad to see you are well, my friends! Quickly, come inside. It is only a matter of time before these savages regroup and stage another charge!"

"Interesting…" Miriel murmured softly, staring at Panne. "No… it can't be. And yet… Tell me, are you a taguel?"

"I am," Panne replied sternly. "Is it normal for humans to study someone so closely? I feel as if I am being examined by a hunter."

"Simply fascinating…" Miriel finished, continuing to stare at Panne for the duration of our conversation.

"Alright, alright, she's a friend, saved me, yadda yadda," I said lazily. "Can we just keep moving? I'd rather be on  _that_  side of the line when we get attacked again."

"You have a funny way of speaking, don't you Sailor?" Gaius grinned.

I ignored Gaius.

We were let in. Shepherds blocked every entrance point into where we were – I assumed we were in Emmeryn's Quarters, and the several hallways that surrounded it. I didn't know where Lucina and Emmeryn were, though. After a few minutes of wandering, I opened a door that led into a random room.

There wasn't as much light as there was in the hallways just outside, casting an eerie glow across the entire room. A single table with a map of what I assumed was the castle laid upon it. Chrom and Robin were standing on opposite sides of the table, and Frederick stood at Chrom's side.

"-just  _popped_ in out of nowhere, then? I apologize, Frederick, but they  _had_ to come in from somewhere." Robin argued. "Unless… Teleportation magic is possible, correct?"

"I am unfamiliar in such areas, but I believe so, yes." Frederick answered. "Although teleportation directly into the Castle should be incredibly difficult, if not impossible; I was under the assumption that wards had been placed centuries ago."

"Centuries ago…" Robin repeated. "Perhaps wards can deteriorate with age, but I do not have enough information to give a definitive answer. When I look at the layout of the Castle, I cannot see a way they could have all entered without us noticing."

"Where they entered doesn't matter anymore, does it?" Chrom supplied, leaning forward on the planning table. "We need to either clear them out from the areas of the castle they occupy, or we slay their leader. I feel like we're sitting ducks staying here."

"Be that as it may, at this rate, their leader may come to us," Robin rebutted. "We have decimated a good portion of their forces when they tried to attack us that first time… Truthfully, without Marth's warning, we'd be even worse off. The way I see it, however, we should stay put. We have all entrances here covered and we have easily taken care of any that have attacked us."

Chrom grimaced, hanging his head for a second before looking back up. "I see your point, Robin. I just… This reminds me of that time we spent in that fort."

Robin nodded. "Indeed. We don't face the dead this time, though. We can beat them, Chrom."

"We have visitors," Frederick said, looking at us. Edward and his soldiers plus Gaius had joined the Shepherds in fortifying the area, but we were still a bit conspicuous; me and the taguel stood out like sore thumbs. Sounded like the start of a bad joke.

Chrom and Robin looked up, eyes widening at us.

"Alex! Thank the gods! I thought you were killed or otherwise misplaced, but… Wait, who's this?" Robin said, staring at Panne.

"I grow tired of repeating my name to these manspawn," Panne sniffed. "My name is Panne, and I have come to repay our warren's debt to the Exalt. Does this suffice?"

Robin stared blankly and turned to me. I shrugged. He then turned to Chrom.

"…I thought the taguel were extinct?" Chrom said, perhaps a bit insensitively.

"Your kind certainly tried. And nearly succeeded. I am the last taguel I have seen in many a moon," Panne said. "Once I am free of this debt, I intend to be on my way. We are not friends, manspawn."

"You will fight for us?" Chrom asked.

"I have been doing so since I have arrived. There were many of these foul-smelling manspawn to the east. They have been hunted down."

"You've already helped us defend this castle even before we knew it. That's good enough for me," Chrom smiled. "We would be honored to accept your aid."

"For as long as you have it," Panne replied, her red eyes unblinking.

"…Fuck, that happened," I breathed out. "I mean, that's nice and all, but what do we do now?"

"That was what we were trying to figure out," Robin responded, messaging the bridge of his nose. "We have withstood several waves of mercenaries and mages. They cannot have many more troops lest they alert the guards and soldiers within the city. Thankfully, Emm is secure."

 _Validar is coming_.

Another crash. It was even closer this time, and made the walls shake.

Chrom steadied himself. "What in the Gods' name is that?"

"Fuck if I know," I replied, panicking a bit. "I've been hearing that shit the entire way here. It's making me a bit fucking- God!" I nearly fell, my face scrunching into a snarl. I slammed the bottom of my fist into the nearby wall. "Fuck!"

"Alex, calm down!" Robin said, grabbing me by the shoulders and bringing me back up. "We need to get out there. I think their leader may make a final approach soon."

"I was about to say the same thing," Chrom agreed. "Frederick, let's go. We need to drive these dastards from our home!"

"At once, milord."

Whatever possessed me to nearly collapse faded as Chrom said that. I just hoped I lasted long enough to see the end of this battle.

* * *

The battle had resumed outside, although the enemy was quickly falling to the combined might of the Shepherds and the remnants of the guards. The grand hall was only just outside the hallways where the Shepherds set-up, becoming a near perfect indoor battlefield.

I went to help, separating from Robin to fight and forget my growing panic and anxiety.

The mercenary screamed as my sword found its way through his chest. He rolled around on the ground as blood pooled from his wound. The way the light from made him cast a shadow over the wall. It was an elongated thing and made me shiver in disgust as I gave him a final stab through the chest once more. He stopped screaming.

_And you thought the other battlefield was hell. Look at this!_

The carpeted floor of the grand hall was covered in blood, soaking into every last inch of the place. The little available light only made it seem more hellish. The Shepherds fought against the mercenaries, utterly tearing them apart. Even the remainder of the guards were getting in on it, though there was very few of them running around.

The battle was going in our favor. At least until a guard near the entrance was blasted back. He hurtled through the air until he crashed against the wall in a pile of meat and gore.

_Dear God, tonight will give me only the strongest of nightmares._

"I must admit, you have surprised me. To have the mercenaries I so generously paid slaughtered so easily by your hands…" A rich, slimy voice cackled. "No matter. Even now their souls will speed along our judgment."

All the fighting stopped, what little of it there still was, as a tall, robed man walked into the hall like he owned the place. His limbs were gangly, resembling a spider's in the poor light. His wild black hair stood on end, and his eyes, those were the worst part. When they went over me, I felt my blood run cold.

_Validar._

Once his eyes found Chrom nearby, he laughed. A dry sound, like the wind through a desert. "And the prince yet lives."

"I don't die so easily. Not when a dastard like you thinks he can invade our home and try to kill my family!" Chrom replied defiantly.

"Even so, you only delay inevitability," Validar casually waved off. "I will go through as many of you worthless whelps as I need to, reclaim what is mine, and leave this castle a smoldering ruin."

Validar hefted a massive tome in only one skinny arm, as his hand burst to life with purple light. His eyes felt like they grew in intensity, like if they were to look at you, you would burst into flames. I took a step back as a wave of pure malice nearly overwhelmed me.

_CHRIST on a BICYCLE._

Chrom readied Falchion, ready to burst into a dead sprint at any moment. I saw them from the side, the definition of good versus evil. It was a scene one could find in a video game, or maybe as a CG in a visual novel.

Despite all of my numb feelings at that point, I still felt goosebumps looking at it.

It became even more badass once I saw Robin stand beside Chrom, tome in hand, lightning crackling around his fingers, glaring at the man he didn't know was his father.

_Fuck, that's so cool._

If it was possible, Validar's magic only became brighter. "Oh? Could it be? Fate piles the gifts-!"

Everything stopped again once a scream was heard.

Face twisting in confusing, I looked around. The wall on the other side of the grand hall shook as…  _something_  slammed into it. Dust and small chunks of it fell to the gournd. Even Validar, the gangly evil bastard that he was, looked slightly off-put by the sound.

"What the…?" I whispered.

What happened next changed whatever thoughts I had on the world I'd ended up in. The definitive moment where I took a good look at myself and said: 'Where the fuck am I really?'.

The wall burst open, sending stone fragments flying at incredible speed and smashing against the floor and opposite wall. One in particular hit one of the few remaining mercenaries in the head, and he fell to the floor limp.

What stood in the hole in the wall could only be described as a nightmare. A tall, armored figure wielding a sword of pure moonlight in its left hand, while the other looked to be cramped and unmoving. The armor it wore was made of plate, covering every part of it in purplish-black metal. Even its head was covered by a helmet. The only clue I got to its appearance underneath the helmet was the red glow that covered the tiny slit used for seeing.

It was the most terrifying thing I'd ever seen.

Everything had stopped, with all those present staring in disbelief at the armored figure.

Validar sneered. "And who are you to interrupt-!"

That only lasted a moment.

It happened in just a second. The head of it instantly snapped to Validar, and it  _ran_. It ran so fast and with such force I could feel the displaced air wash over me like a wave. The monster launched itself into the air with a single jump, it's silver sword shining so brightly I wanted to shield my eyes. It slammed down so hard a dust cloud formed where it landed.

When the dust cleared, whoever, or whatever it was, had stabbed Validar straight through the chest.

Safe to say, I was gobsmacked.

Validar weakly struggled, gurgling for a few moments before the thing raised its sword and stabbed him again, brutally.

Slowly, ever so slowly, it looked up. At us. That red light from its eyes, so much like Panne's or a Risen's, felt like it saw everything; it was all-encompassing. Unlike Validar's gaze, it wasn't filled with outright malice. Instead, all I felt was  _hate_.

Its armor clanked, sounding like a metal girder being bent, and it screamed. An awful sound, not because of its inhumanity, but because it sounded  _so human_. I covered my ears and fell to my knees. I shut my eyes so tightly tears welled up at the corners.

When I opened them again, all I saw was the armored thing running away, with Validar's body hoisted on its shoulder.

I wasn't conscious for much longer after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, yeah. That happened. The first major change. Even though it ended the same, the method was very different. The closest thing I can equate the Armored Risen Knight thingy towards the end would be the picture I used to have as the cover. Inspired by Artorias of the Abyss and Berserker Lancelot when writing him.
> 
> Not gonna lie, this is the bloodiest, goriest chapter I think I've ever written. And you wanna know what the fun part is? It'll only get better from here. And it'll happen more often. I'd say we'll meet the end of Act 1 before we reach chapter 20. Hopefully I'll get past chapter 20 with this fic, because almost every multi-chaptered fic I've ever written has never made it past 20 chapters except like one. Here's to hoping, right?
> 
> Before I go, here's a theme:
> 
> Alexander's Theme - Clockwork Contrivance
> 
> Thanks to DestructionDragon360 for the recommendation!
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord server: /9XG3U7a
> 
> Not much else to say. Hope you enjoyed this extra-long chapter!


	10. Rubicon

_I ran. I'd keep running from it for as long as I could. The winding corridors never ended, which was both a good and bad thing. The thing would never stop coming after me, no matter what. Its red eyes would always stare, its legs always move, its arms always ready to tear me limb from limb. There was no escape, but I'd keep going regardless._

_There wasn't really any other way of doing it._

_A pain and hate filled howl echoed through those God-damned halls, always closer than the last time. I could hear it clearly. Armor clanking like pots being slammed together, a rumbling moan coming out of its gaping buck-toothed mouth._

_My legs were getting tired. I could only run so far, while it could run forever. It would never tire, never falter, never stumble for a single moment until it was upon me. Despite this knowledge, I kept going, turning another corner and sprinting down the hallway._

_Unlike it, I would tire, I would falter, and I would stumble._

_Which is what happened when I finally tripped._

_I fell to the unyielding floor, sprawled out like a ragdoll. My legs felt like they'd been dipped in molten lead. It was almost impossible for me to turn onto my back, but eventually I managed. Unfortunately, once I got a good look at the thing chasing me, I couldn't find the strength in my weak body to turn back around._

_The thing was everything I'd feared. It was covered in rotting and decaying flesh, with bits of armor sinking out of the hairy brown skin. Two rabbit-like ears sprouted from the top of its helmeted head like festering tumors. The armor was a shiny purple, contrasting the disgusting flesh that surrounded it like a rotting brown ocean. Its legs were a combination of human and something other, having joints that no human could possibly have yet still ran like one._

_The worst part were its eyes. They glowed like two smoldering embers, so bright they lit up the entire hallway. Their gaze fell on me, studying me like I was some sort of curiosity._

_In one motion, causing its armor to moan and groan as if it was under great stress, it raised its head, and screamed._

_It was like several people screaming at once. And every single one of them was in the worst agony a person could dream of._

_The thing ran towards me in such an unnatural and janky way I was surprised it could run at all. Every time it took a step it caved in a small hole in the floor. It jumped, almost reaching the ceiling._

_It shot at me like a speeding bullet, ready to tear me apart at long last…_

* * *

I awoke sweating and breathing heavily, heart pounding so hard in my chest it felt like it was drilling a hole through it. My eyes glared at the ceiling, noting that I wasn't in my bed at the barracks or in a wagon.

It all came back to me at once as I sat up, wiping sweat off my forehead.

That giant armored  _thing_. The one that burst through the walls like they were nothing and seemingly…  _killed_ Validar. I'd be the first to admit that I didn't have the best memory, but I knew for a fact that there was nothing like that in the game. I knew Validar died during the assassination, only to be revived by Grima later. But that… I didn't know how to comprehend it. It didn't make any sense. Why the hell was it there!? No, an even better question, what  _was_ it!?

I certainly didn't have any of the answers, and I doubted any of the other Shepherds would have an idea either. Without any concrete information except its appearance and that  _horrid_ scream I swore still echoed in my skull, there was not much else I could do but keep going.

_So basically business as usual. When presented with a universe-altering element, you choose to bury your head in the sand and act like nothing is happening. When will you give up this sham, boy scout?_

"Oh, you are awake. Good," A voice said to my side. I turned and saw Robin closing a book while he sat nearby. "I was beginning to think I would have to call Lissa or Maribelle to see that you did not suffer any permanent damage."

I chuckled hollowly, shaking my head. "Hell, Robin, if that happened, you might as well just kill me. I'd hate to feel useless," More than I already felt, at least. What  _had_  I accomplished, after all? "What happened, by the way? To me, and after I fell."

"If you are asking why you collapsed, the best I could get out of Lissa as she worked was a combination of smaller injuries and exhaustion," Robin answered. "Beyond that? We regrouped after that…  _thing_ barged in and whisked away that dark mage. While I have been watching over you, I've been studying several books on magical constructs and the like. The closest term I could describe the armored figure we saw would be… Hmm, a moment."

He grabbed a book and paged through it a bit before stopping and repeating the word to himself silently. "Yes, a Deadlord. A powerful summon, only used by the highest level of dark mage. It takes several master sorcerers to even summon one. None have been seen for centuries, according to the texts I've been reading. However, I do believe that is what appeared last night."

I stared at him blankly for a few moments, before blinking. "Damn, and here I was almost forgetting how much you like researching stuff. And talking about it, too! Can't forget that."

"Heh, you seem to find it interesting, at least." Robin smiled. "Not many of the other Shepherds are too keen on hearing me babble about my latest historical or magical discovery that, surprise, they have known for years."

"Well, considering I can barely read, you're still the only way I really get to know about this place other than what everyone else tells me," I smiled back. "And not many of them go into as much detail as you do." I shook my ahead, feeling the area where I'd been burned by that mage. "Anyway, I can tell I haven't been asleep for long."

Robin nodded, putting the book down. "Only a few hours. A lot has happened in that time, however. That…  _taguel_ , was it? Despite what she said, she has not left yet."

I froze. "Y-Yeah… Her name's Panne, remember?"

"Yes, that was it! Gods, my memory is not improving," Robin said to himself. "And that thief. I cannot recall his name, although I know his recruitment was… bizarre, as Chrom told me."

I rubbed the back of my head. "Yeah, Gaius. I had to convince a Knight-Captain not to kill him on the spot."

"Gaius it is, then," Robin amended. "A strange man, from what little interaction I've had with him. Still, I can see a few good uses for a seasoned thief."

"Hmm," My hand froze over a small scar on my shoulder. "Yeah, he's strange. N-Not as gruesome as Panne was, though." I added, mumbling slightly.

Robin raised a brow in interest, but once I said nothing, he shrugged and continued. "Beyond those two new additions, we have finally decided our next course of action."

"Uh huh?" I replied, motioning for him to continue as I tested my legs.

"What, no love for dramatics?" Robin smiled wryly.

"Only when I'm the one doing it, Robin."

"Heh. Alright. After a little bit of convincing, it's been decided that Emmeryn will be relocated to the eastern castle in the city of Tathis," Robin informed me. "A small city with light defenses, but far enough away from Plegia that an invasion would need to go through Ylisstol and Grawin before they could even touch it," Robin stopped and looked down for a moment. "I… was rather annoyed with Emmeryn's insistence on staying. Stubbornness will not save herself or the people of Ylisse, and yet she argued with Chrom and Phila until just a few hours ago."

I was trapped in my own little world once Robin told me where we were going next. Of course, I knew it was happening, saw it coming for fuck's sake, but even then, a pit settled in my stomach.

If I'd wanted to alter the entire course of the future and save Emmeryn, wherever the hell Chapter 7 took place would be my last chance to do so safely.

_Was it Chapter 7? I honestly can't even remember anymore._

I coughed into my fist. "She, uh, still decided to go along with it in the end though, didn't she?"

"Indeed," Robin answered. "But that is not my problem. First we deal with an assassination attempt orchestrated by a sorcerer of seemingly great power, and then a Deadlord bursts through several walls and spirits away said sorcerer? It is strange, insane, some would say. I just feel her first thought should be on how her death would affect Ylisse."

Robin sighed.

"No matter. I apologize for rambling about my frustrations. They are not nearly as entertaining as my lectures on history, I'm sure."

I waved off his concerns. "Nah, don't worry about it, man. Listening to people's problems is one of the few things I'm naturally good at. Ever feel frustrated and shit? Just come talk to me. Not like I have much else to do except train."

Robin got up. "I will be sure to take you up on that offer someday." He gathered up the books piled up on the table. "And considering that there is a war going on, that day will certainly be soon." He turned to me. "Now, I think it's time I stop shirking my duties. We leave this afternoon. I will see you then."

I waved silently as Robin left the room, the sound of the door closing ringing in my ears.

For several moments I simply stood there silently, staring at the door. My mind was blank; not a single thought was made.

I walked over to the seat Robin had been at before and sat down.

_You are going to let an innocent woman die because of your own weakness._

I'd barely even said a word to Emmeryn as far as I could remember, but that didn't help me. Neither did the fact I could well and truly call her brother and sister my  _friends_. How was I going to look them in the eye when their own sibling commits suicide?

_And then there's that thing. The Deadlord._

A wildcard. Something that was completely new as far as I could tell. A monster in plate armor that could move faster than an Olympic athlete. One question that raged through my mind was:  _why did it only take Validar and leave?_  It was a valid question in my mind. One that refused to go away.

I looked out the single window in the room I found myself in. Still in the castle, obviously. The sun was rising, probably only around eight or nine in the morning. Funnily enough, there was a time years before that you'd be hard pressed to find me awake close to this time. Constant training and no electronics to speak of, as well as going to sleep at a decent time, did wonders for me in that respect.

It was nice to get my thoughts off of Emmeryn's rapidly approaching death, or the Deadlord whose screams still reverberated inside my head. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever.

I sighed, getting up. I could sit down and ponder everything in existence forever, but that wasn't very productive. We had somewhere to go soon. I tried to remember the name of the chapter we were going towards, but just could not do it.

Robin wasn't the only one who had difficulty with names.

* * *

If it wasn't obvious yet, there were more cities in Ylisse than the game ever hinted at existing. As far as I knew, there were five major cities in total. Ylisstol was the capitol and located in central Ylisse. Auraegis was to the north, Tathis to the east, Warreth to the south, and Grawin to the west.

The eastern palace mentioned in-game was located in Tathis, as Robin said. Which was where we were headed towards. It was still a long journey, taking at the very least a week.

I was the only one who knew we wouldn't make it there.

About halfway there, I was taking inventory. Basically, it involved me making sure none of our supplies and shit were stolen or lost. If they were, I'd check it off and make a note to Chrom and Frederick that we needed more, as well as say if it was someone stealing supplies or a simple mistake.

All in all, dull. A far cry from what I wanted to do, which was make sure I didn't think about the golden opportunity to save a life glittering in my face.

_Some hero you are, huh? You never know, maybe you from the future already told Lucina about it and now she's recruiting all her friends to save Emmeryn. Pipe dream, maybe, but it's better than nothing, huh, boy scout?_

Ignoring my inner voice, I looked over our food stores. The wagons they were being held in were beefier than the ones we all traveled in. I sighed, noticing nothing amiss.

I wondered why the hell they had me doing it. I could still barely read, but I could figure out the individual words at the very least. That, and my memory skills were shit anyway. They could've picked a thousand other people, but no, they had to pick Mr. Happy Pants. Brilliant.

"Hey Sailor."

" _Jesus-fucking-H-!_ " I shouted, falling forward and dropping the papers I'd been holding. I looked up, a scowl on my face as Gaius winced.

" _Ouch_. I would've named you Stumbles if I knew about this whole side of you," Gaius said, walking over and leaning against the wagon as I picked myself up. "But, nah, I think I like Sailor more. Fits you."

I cursed under my breath as I rubbed my nose. "Gaius," I greeted curtly. "There something you need or did you just come here to scare the Jesus outta me?"

"Well, I don't know who this 'Jesus' fella is, but I hope he treats you right, Sailor," Gaius replied easily, snickering as I sputtered. "Relax. Just joking. I actually came around to thank you."

"Okay, well, first off, Jesus is a major religious figure where I come from," I clarified, still trying to get the image Gaius planted out of my head. "Secondly, thank me for what?"

Gaius looked at me weirdly, like I'd grown a second head. "You're being serious? You don't remember me being at the end of Knightmare's lance? I mean, sure, I could've gotten outta there anyway; poor guy wasn't even looking at the dagger I had in my pocket. But now I've left a busted raid for a job that pays well," He looked inside the wagon. "Course, only paying me in gold. Thought I made it obvious when I said, 'sweeten the deal'."

"Depends on who you said that to," I replied, raising a brow at what Gaius was doing before sighing. "The candy and shit ain't in that wagon, if that's what you're looking for."

" _Damn,_ " Gaius whispered, leaping out of the wagon like a cat. "Could've sworn… Anyway, you really don't remember that whole nasty business? Making me feel unimportant here, Sailor."

"It's not about you being important or not. I just don't see why you'd thank me," I explained, shrugging. "I didn't really do much, if you think about it. I doubt Edward would've killed you there anyway."

"And  _you_  have never been at the end of an angry guardsman's pointy stick," Gaius rebuffed. "Listen to me, Sailor. You may not have saved me, but you did clear the path to a less unsavory career. Still get to be the thief I've always been, and get paid by royalty doing it, even if Blue is a little sheltered. So, yeah, like I said back then, thank you."

I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly. "Well… uh… you're welcome? I guess? I did a pretty piss-poor job at convincing Edward, but if you really think it's so great…"

"Mmm," Gaius said, raising a hand to his chin in thought as he looked at me. I got the feeling I was being studied. "Heh, whatever swirls your chocolate, Sailor. Anyway, that's not the only reason I'm here."

I put on a mock-surprised expression. "You mean to tell me the thief  _didn't_ come here to distract the guy checking the supplies to steal more candy? Next you'll be telling me that Robin's a tactician."

"Oh, how your words have wounded my poor ego," Gaius replied, acting like I'd just punched him across the face. "Listen, Sailor, if I wanted to steal more sweets, I would've just thrown a rock into the thicket over there and watched you run after it. I'm being serious about this."

I gestured for him to keep talking.

"See, there's one thing I've noticed about the Shepherds, right? None of you do anything but train and march all day. All well and good; I need to do some more of that myself. But you guys take it to the extreme. Way I see it, you folks need a way to unwind. Settle down, you know? Nothing serious."

"You gonna keep talking in circles or are you gonna say what you need to say?"

He looked at me. "Was getting to that, Sailor. Like I said, think you guys need a little time to relax. So I remembered this card game a friend of a friend from south Ylisse taught me. Low stakes, obviously, but could be fun. Already gathered a few people before I came out here to talk to you. What do you say, Sailor? Want in?"

I thought about it for a moment. A card game. A fuckmothering card game. When was the last time I'd played one of those? It sounded a lot like Gaius was asking me to join a game night. Memories of times past, back home where I'd do something similar but with video games. Nostalgia felt like it took over my brain for a second as the memories flooded my mind.

It was also a chance to get out of the dreary duty I'd been doing. I was basically done anyway.

After a moment, I nodded. "Fuck it. Count me in, Gaius."

* * *

_I feel like I'm about to oversee a drug deal or some shit._

It was a tent at the edge of camp. The sun had long since gone down, and the lanterns from inside lit up the flesh-colored leather used for the canvas. It was better than going to sleep, at least, which was what I was going to do before Gaius invited me to play  _fucking cards_.

I still couldn't get over that for some reason.

The tent was a bit foreboding, but I shut that thought down before it could gain any ground. Taking a deep breath, I opened the flap and walked inside.

"Gods, there he is!" Gaius exclaimed. "Thought you'd never make it, Sailor. Was just about to start without you."

"Lucky me," I mumbled, observing the interior of the tent.

A single metal lantern lit up the inside, which sat upon an old wooden table. Five chairs surrounded said table, one of which was unoccupied.

"Alex? That you?" Donnel asked, surprised. "Well I'll be! Glad to see ya could make it!"

"Heh, almost expected ya to chicken out like ya almost did with our arm-wrestling match!" Vaike boasted, flexing his arms. "Not like I'd blame ya none; the Vaike is intimidating, right?"

"Ha! 'Bout as intimidating as a kid with soiled small clothes!" Sully retorted, grinning while leaning back. "If we weren't 'bout to play something, I'd spar with you right here and now!"

I looked to Gaius. "This is gonna be the rowdiest game of whatever the hell in history, you know that, right?"

"At first, I wanted to get some of the more 'uptight' Shepherds," Gaius explained, fiddling with the toothpick in his mouth. "But I think you're the only one who I was able to convince. Freddy wasn't having any of it, Blue's asleep somewhere, you know, the works. Besides, long as we have some fun, I think it'll be worth it."

"…Well, I guess I'll sit down and let you explain, then." I replied, slowly, doing exactly what I said. Gaius leaned forwards, producing a pack of cards.

"Right, thank you, Sailor. Now, let me explain this thing," He shuffled the cards as he spoke. Watching him do so was almost hypnotizing. "See, this friend of mine introduced me to a game from south Ylisse. Popular in Warreth taverns and overseas, so I heard. Doesn't really have a name, but my friend called it 'Ylissean Poker'."

I perked up at that. I'd never played any version of poker before, hell, I didn't even think that Fire Emblem had anything resembling a card game. Then again, it made some amount of sense. I did wonder how they made the cards, though. From what I could tell, the ones Gaius had were old and worn. Still, they'd get the job done if poker was what we were playing. Just hoped that the rules weren't too different from back home.

"Aw, used to play that with my da, yeah!" Donnel said excitedly. "Had these card-things you done have! Couldn't find 'em before I done went and left, though. Still a lil' sad 'bout that."

"Ah, hell, shoulda guessed," Sully commented. "Still, could be fun. Think I'll stay."

"Heh, Teach will ace this game, er, even if he hasn't played it yet…" Vaike trailed off.

"Heard of it before but never really played it," I said, scratching my chin. "Hope you're gonne explain the rules, Gaius."

"What kinda dealer would I be if I didn't? Don't worry about betting, though. I got the chips we need all here." He said, taking a bag from…  _somewhere,_ and dropping a pile of flat wood chips on the table.

_At least we're not betting money. Yet._

* * *

"Fuck it, I'm folding," I breathed out, watching as Vaike snickered. "The hell are you laughing about?"

"Heh, nothin' serious, Alex! Ya just gave up so easily! Teach would never give up, no matter what!" He proclaimed proudly.

"He's raised already. I'd be careful about it, guys," Gaius warned. "You good, Roughhouse?"

"Can it, Chuckles," Sully grumbled, staring at her cards. "…Aw, to hell with it. Fold."

"What's that? It sounds like the Vaike's competition is crumbling before he's even done anything!"

"Yeah, just keep talking, Vaike. Even if ya win here, I'll still beat ya in the ring!" Sully retorted.

"Like to see ya try, Sully!" Vaike replied loudly.

"Told you it'd be rowdy." I commented to Gaius, yet I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, but this is good too." Gaius said.

I looked at him, brow raised. "What? How?"

"This is all well and good, but I'm not really getting any candy out of this. Say, why don't we make a personal bet, Sailor? A cupcake to whoever wins tomorrow. Roughhouse or Muscles?"

"…By God, you're serious."

"Why wouldn't I be? Listen, Sailor, it's not too bad. What're you gonna use a little cupcake for?"

I looked at him incredulously. "Gaius, I'd fucking eat it, what else? Besides, you have a shit ton of candy all stowed away in your pockets. The fuck do you need more for?"

"Could always use more sugar," Gaius shrugged. "Just 'cause I have a lot doesn't mean I can't get more, right? So, what do you say?"

"I say we should drop this. Not giving you my shit."

" _Damn,_ " He whispered. "I'll just have to find someone else, then. Anyway, Farmboy?"

"I do believe I'll raise, Mr. Gaius." Donnel said. "I think I done got the best cards I could get!"

"…He's bluffin', ain't he? That's the whole thing 'bout this game, right Gaius?" Vaike asked, nervous.

The orange-haired thief smirked. "'Course he could. He also could be speaking nothing but the truth. It's only you two anyway. How much you both willing to bet?"

"Fine, then! I'll match your bet, Donny! C'mere!"

They both put down their hands.

My eyes widened. "Holy shit…"

Vaike was right to be as confident as he was, considering he had Four of a Kind. Donnel, on the other hand, had a  _Straight Flush_.

Gaius whistled. "That's a damn good hand if I ever saw one. All chips to Farmboy!"

"N-No…" Vaike muttered weakly, staring hollowly at the chips going to Donnel's side. "T-The Vaike… lost? It just ain't possible…"

I tried my best to hold in a laugh. Only succeeded a little bit though. Sully, on the other hand, held nothing back as she guffawed.

Donnel smiled apologetically at Vaike. "I'm right sorry 'bout that, Mr. Vaike. Ma always did saw I was a lucky 'un."

"Ahaha! Don't care how lucky you ae, Donny. That's the funniest shit I've seen all night! Gods! Ha!" Sully  _cackled._  Almost seemed to enjoy it a bit too much, if you ask me.

Vaike just sat there, staring off into the nothingness. Pride cometh before a fall and all that.

I snorted. "Alright, guess we'll go again, right Gaius?" At his nod, I looked forward at Donnel. "Just you wait, Donny. I'll win this one."

* * *

Sweat beaded on my forehead as I looked at my cards. I wasn't maintaining the best poker face in all of existence, and I'd be the first to admit it. Donnel wasn't exactly keeping a straight face either, however. This was it. The final showdown. The ultimate clash between city boy and farm hand. A battle of truly epic proportions. Marth, Sigurd, Seliph, and Alm didn't have shit on us.

Sully and Vaike had folded. I'd bluffed a bit. Well, maybe a lot. Almost all my chips were betted, as were a good portion of the others, as well. I flinched away as my eyes met Donnel's for a split second.

_You can bluff Sully and Vaike but you can't bluff your feelings, boy scout._

Promptly ignoring my unhelpful inner voice, I prepared myself for disappointment.

"You got this, Sailor," Gaius encouraged, putting a hand on my shoulder. "He's just a farmhand from some village no ones heard about. Just to show my confidence in you, I betted with Muscles that I'll give him a cookie if you lose. I'll get a lollipop if you win, Sailor. Think of it! Shining in the morning sun… Oh, Gods, please win!"

"Dude, are you fucking  _drooling_ on me!?" I exclaimed in disgust.

"Don't worry none, Donny. Ya got this! Ain't no way yer gonna lose at this, and that's Teach's promise!" Vaike said, standing behind Donnel who was looking more uncomfortable by the second. "You go and teach Alex and Gaius what it means to mess with the Vaike!"

"We even playin' poker anymore?" Sully asked to no one in particular. "Get the feelin' I'm just watchin' four guys fight for dominance. Sight to see, though. Don't see anythin' like this every day."

"Sully, you're messing with my concentration." I accused exasperatedly.

"What in hell's name are ya even concentratin' 'bout!?" She asked, throwing her toned arms out. "All both of ya have to do is show your hand, and then win! It ain't magical theory, guys! Just show yer hands and be done with it."

"I reckon she's right," Donnel conceded sheepishly. "I ain't no fan of all this pressure. Be mighty kind of y'all if we get done with it."

"…Fine, fair enough. In three, then," I said. "Ready? Okay. One… Two… Three!"

I put my hand down. Four of a Kind. A strong hand. Still the possibility that the others had better hands, but I didn't think I'd have a problem with just one person.

I, of course, had forgotten that Donnel had the luck of a fucking sixteen-leafed clover.

My face instantly met the table once I saw Donnel had gotten a Straight Flush  _again_.

"Ohoho! Ain't that such a  _shame_!" Vaike guffawed, patting Donnel's shoulder. "I knew ya had it in ya, kid!"

"Aw, shucks! Thank ya for havin' faith in me, Mr. Vaike!"

"…What is up with Farmboy? Never seen someone do so well…" Gaius muttered to himself. "Was so sure I shuffled the cards good this time, too."

"My entire life is a fucking lie…" I mumbled.

"Oh, Gods, I think ya broke him, Donny," Sully said from somewhere. I didn't care to look anymore. "He's startin' spouting bullshit now."

"If the truth is bullshit," I began. "Then I've never told a lie in my life."

"What in Marth's name does that even mean?" Sully asked, sounding genuinely confused. "Look, Alex, yer fine. He's just lucky is all."

"And my luck is  _shit_ ," I retorted. "Everything I am is meaningless."

"He always get this melodramatic when he loses?" Gaius asked.

"Nah, think I beat that outta him durin' our training sessions."

"Along with my fuckin' lungs. Don't forget that."

Sully smirked. "Ain't like you were using 'em for much anyway."

I groaned, turning my head on the table to get the best look at Gaius I could. "And who the fuck are you to talk to  _me_ about melodrama? Didn't you just lose a cookie to the world's worst teacher over there?"

"Did you just call Teach the worst!?"

Gaius shrugged. "Was lying a little, to be honest. Had to get you pumped somehow. You really think I'd bet my sweets in a poker game?"

"Then why the hell would you-" I stopped myself, picking my head off the table and leaning back on the chair. "Know what? Nevermind."

"Real sorry 'bout beatin' ya, Alex," Donnel apologized unnecessarily. "Don't know why I git so lucky. Ma always said it was the moon I's born under."

"Nah, it's fine, Donny," I waved off. "Sully's right. Just me being melodramatic."

"Damn right you are. Now, we gonna play another round, or are ya pansies too scared?" Sully said challengingly.

* * *

Our games went well into the night, but eventually, that ended; we went our separate ways. Gaius proposed to have a game night every week from then on. I agreed, but then I remembered that my last chance to save Emmeryn without pressure was about to rear its ugly head, and I frowned.

I had to stop doing that; it wasn't healthy.

Days went past, and everything went back to a routine just as before. It was boring, and no one seemed to be in a particularly talkative mood. And you can only try to start a conversation so many times before people start to ask questions, so eventually I became silent.

Besides, it wasn't long after that it happened.

It was on the side of a cliff, but again like Chapter 6, that was the only similarity. I couldn't be certain that Chapter 7 was finally upon us, but I had this gut feeling, like my stomach was twisting itself into knots. It could have been me looking down from the top of the cliff face to the rocky bottom below, but I wasn't so sure.

_Wouldn't be the first time you've been wrong about something. Let's be honest with ourselves here._

I walked on the left side of the wagons, decidedly  _not_ looking off the side of the sheer cliff face anymore. Heights were always a bit of a weak point for me. I looked down them earlier, and I could feel the vertigo nearly make me puke then and there.

"Er… Are you alright, Alex?"

I looked to my right. Speaking of heights, there sat Sumia, peeking out the back of the wagon. Reminded me a bit how Lissa was like on the way to Maribelle's 'trial'.

"…Just fine," I replied after a small pause. "I… just have a bad feeling, is all."

"I'm not a stranger to bad feelings myself, heh," Sumia said, chuckling. "My flower fortunes always helped with that, though. If you don't mind my asking, do you think something is going to happen?"

I looked at her strangely. "Well, I guess that's one way of putting it. I just feel so open out here, and that doesn't make any sense. We have a fucking mountain on one side," I pointed to the jagged rocks that looked like they belonged in hell. "and a sheer cliff face on the other side," I nodded to the ledge that was not close, but definitely not far away. "Not a lot of things that could get around that unless they were coming up from behind us or ahead of us. I guess what I'm saying, is that I think we're being ambushed."

"…Wow. Erm… Well, not sure what I can say to that…" Sumia trailed off. "But, if it makes you feel any better, Phila stationed a company of Pegasus knights at the border; we'll know about anything coming our way long before they get here! A good friend of mine is actually stationed there, too."

I raised a brow. "The same one that I reminded you of when I sighed?"

"Hehe, yup!"

I rubbed the back of my head. "You never told me their name."

"Oh, I never did? Gods, sorry!" Sumia apologized, spreading the flaps of the wagon higher. "Her name is Cordelia. Amazing at everything she does, honestly! I… wish I could be more like her, in some ways."

_That's what it always comes down to, doesn't it? Everyone always wants to be like someone they perceive as better than them. And yet, who they think is better than them always end up being imperfect in their own ways. Hopefully no one looks up to me that way._

"Well… damn," I said slowly, looking ahead. "Hopefully I'll get to meet her someday."

"Oh, I'm sure you will!" Sumia chirped. "I think you two would be great friends!"

That was almost painful to hear. After all, it was more than likely I'd see her soon.  _Very soon_.

About an hour of quiet followed after that. I stared ahead, trying not to think. Caught a glimpse of who I presumed to be the Hierarch while I did so. My face twisted into a snarl as a I looked at the old fuck. It was only for a moment, but it was there.

I counted the seconds, feeling my heartbeat in my chest with such clarity I was almost convinced someone was banging drums. I just continued, waiting for the shoe to finally fucking drop.

Anxiety stricken as I was, I ironically almost missed what happened next.

I thought it was someone shouting at first, and it was distant, but it grew in intensity until a great big…  _something_ soared from the edge of the cliff face. It was big, scaly, and its roar was so loud I wanted to cover my ears and run in panic.

_Wyvern Rider._

Several others followed, all just as big as the first. I wondered just how the fuck they were able to ride those giant monsters, what with all the spikes and scales on the damn things. Unlike the ones back at Maribelle's Trial, these ones were very much alive. And they were  _angry_.

As the Shepherds mobilized around us, I tore open the wagon Sumia was in.

" _Sumia!_ " I shouted. " _We're under attack! Get up!_ "

She instantly jumped out of the wagon, surprising me. I leaped off myself as she looked to the skies.

"But… if they're all here, and none of the…  _Oh, Gods!_ "

I put a hand on her shoulder as a wyvern swooped over us, giving me flashbacks to Skyrim of all things. "Listen, don't think about that right now! We need to get you to your Pegasus! You have your lance!?"

"Y-Yes! Right here!" She replied quickly, brandishing said lance. Thankfully she had her armor on, or else we'd  _really_ be in trouble. "I left him towards the back. Let's go!"

With my heart beat nearly deafening me, I didn't even question why her Pegasus was so far away.

What was happening was different from the Chapter 7 I could remember. Instead of the talking and the Hierarch dying, we were just straight the fuck up ambushed without warning. Over the noise of battle I could hear Robin barking orders as usual. Emmeryn's wagon was pulled back as far as possible, and the Pegasus knights were flying in circles around it, while a troop of soldiers defended her on the ground. Feather and claw met in the sky as the Pegasus knights engaged the Wyvern Riders, sending several on each side to the ground.

The scene itself was almost mind-numbing. Chapter 7 started differently, but the premise was still the same. And I had to help Sumia get to her Pegasus. It's not like I could really hear Robin anyway.

Sumia could handle herself, but that didn't mean being side by side wouldn't help us both.

The sound of splintering wood turned my attention backwards as I saw a Wyvern Rider smash the wagon Sumia had been in just seconds before to pieces. The rider on top wore what looked like a metal muzzle as his eyes met mine for a split second.

"Oh,  _fuck this!_  We gotta run!" I yelled, ushering us further down the convoy.

A roar behind us propelled me forward. Sumia was keeping pace with me, although that wasn't surprising. The sound of flapping wings made me grit my teeth as I forced my legs to run faster. Another roar, so close it made my ears ring, made me want to curl up on the ground just to try and drown out the infernal noise that surrounded me.

"Alex,  _move!_ " Sumia shouted. Out of instinct, I obeyed, flinging myself to the side. It sent me dangerously close to the cliff edge, but it also kept my head from being split in half like a rotten watermelon by the Wyvern Rider's axe.

Sumia let out a war cry I didn't know she was capable of and ran towards the wyvern. She stabbed her lance straight through the bat-like skin of its wing, making a sound like tearing tissue paper as the wyvern tried to flap its wing. I heard the rider gasp as he leaned forward, shifting the wyvern's weight as it squawked awkwardly, attempting to fly. In the end, this only made it fall forward onto its head. I could hear the snapping of vertebrae and the breaking of scales as it landed, sounding an awful lot like a tree being cut down. The wyvern settled nearby, its still very much alive rider struggling underneath its body.

I picked myself up and ran forward. I didn't give the rider a chance to get up as my blade slived through his throat like warm butter, lightly splattering me with blood. Standing straight, I looked towards Sumia, who was looking at her lance in awe.

"I-I can't believe we just did that! That was…!" She breathed out, sounding almost like a whisper in the chaotic battlefield.

"We can celebrate how badass you are after the battle is over," I pointed out, ushering us further. "Where the hell's your Pegasus at!?"

"Er, r-right over there!" She stuttered, pointing at the panicking creature. It was tied to a wagon, not far away from Emmeryn's. It was holding its head high and snorting, flapping its wings each time.

We arrived soon enough, with Sumia carefully calming it down as I looked around. The battle was mostly in the skies here, and I could see a few bodies around. Thankfully, most of them appeared to be of wyverns and their riders, but I could still see a few pegasi on the ground. I may not be their biggest fan, but I felt a pang in my chest looking at their corpses. They didn't deserve that.

"Okay, all set!" Sumia reported, getting on her Pegasus. "Thanks for helping, Alex!"

"Er, don't mention it," I replied awkwardly, looking to where most of the fighting was happening. "Just get up in the air, I'll take care of some more down here!"

She nodded, and after a small run, her Pegasus was in the sky. The light reflected off its white fur, making me shrink back and wince.

I wondered why, in Sumia's supports, that she thought she was nothing special. She seemed plenty capable of kicking ass and taking names to me.

I shook those thoughts away as I joined the others.

* * *

The battle was in full swing, although it was clear we were winning. Once I joined the rest of the Shepherds, I realized just how many enemies there were. Not as many as the first battle, but still a lot. The wyverns in the sky roared louder than any shout as we fought tooth and nail to keep Emmeryn safe.

_Even though you're gonna let her die anyway._

Ignoring that traitorous thought, I wondered just how the hell did they have so many troops following us without knowing.

At least the moronic Hierarch lied dead. I knew that much from his mangled body.

I shouted as another Plegian fell to the dirt in front of me. My sword punctured his gut, and I cut him open. He stopped moving not long after that. Despite the brutality I was committing, I felt surprisingly numb. I looked around, almost idly, and saw Donnel.

He was surrounded. Cut off from everyone else as the Plegian soldiers attempted to strike him down.

The numbness went away, replaced by  _anger_. It felt like it swelled in my chest as my face twisted into a snarl. I ran towards his position, sword held back.

When I swung, I noted that it was the first time I completely decapitated someone.

" _Donny!_ " I snarled as I sliced through another Plegian, barely noticing the scratch he gave me on my side. The Plegian's backed up out of surprise, unwisely giving me and Donnel space.

Donnel had fallen to the ground and stared at me in disbelief. "A-Alex!?"

" _Get up!_ " I shouted savagely. " _These fuckers aren't gonna let you pity-kill them!_ "

Donnel shook his head and got up, slashing another Plegian across the arm, giving him enough time to stab him through a weak point in his armor.

So distracted was I, I didn't notice the Wyvern Rider coming up my flank. I turned around just in time to see his shiny axe raised, ready to perform an emergency lobotomy. Even if I couldn't see his mouth, I could've sworn he was smiling.

Fortunately, he never got the chance to strike.

A Pegasus shot down from the sky. A lancehead found itself firmly rooted through the rider's upper chest. The strike was one of precision, killing the rider instantly while his wyvern lifted its head up in confusion, forgetting me as it wandered away, beginning to panic.

The person who saved me twirled her lance around with grace. Long red hair trailed behind her as her Pegasus flapped its wings, blowing light gusts of air in my face.

_Cordelia._

She regarded me for only a second before her gaze shot back to the sky. There one moment and then gone the next.

The skies seemed less crowded than before.

I shook my head, my teeth grinding together as I saw another Plegian. The battle was nearing its end, but I still fought.

The numbness had replaced the unease I felt at killing a while ago anyway. Besides, Donnel and I, as well as the rest of the Shepherds, were making short work of the rest of the ground troops.

* * *

I looked down at my feet as I took deep breaths. The battle was over.

Nearby, I knew the scene from Chapter 7 was playing. Emmeryn was talking with Chrom, Lissa, Phila, and Cordelia. I could hear their voices but couldn't make out their words.

I didn't need to be there, so close to all of them, but for some reason I sat my ass down not too far away from them. Just close enough to hear them, but not enough to understand what they were saying.

I couldn't fathom why I sat so close.

_This is your last chance. You could try later but this is the last surefire way of keeping her alive. You keep saying you'll let her die, but you're not okay with that at all._

I hadn't even said two words to the woman, yet every time I thought about her oncoming death, my stomach tied itself into knots. I'd said nothing about her coming death for three months, and it felt like the information was burning a hole through my skull. It would be so easy to just walk over and tell them. It would take some convincing, sure, but in the end, I might've been able to prove my foreknowledge was true. I could've done so many things.

I shook my head as Cordelia's curses and wails rung in my ears. I looked over to see Phila place both her hands on her shoulders, attempting to calm her down. Chrom grimaced and presumably cursed. The news had arrived. The Plegians had massacred Cordelia's unti and were not a day away. I knew that much.

I looked back down, ignoring them again.

I shook my head, just a bit faster this time.

If I saved her, what would my future knowledge even mean? There would be no guarantee on what would happen next; if I saved her, the future would be thrown into limbo. Everything I knew would effectively be useless. Not that it wasn't already, considering the Deadlord that showed up at Emmeryn's assassination, and Validar's apparent death at its hands, but some part of me held hope that that was just superficial. The world wasn't exactly the same, but everything else seemed to be right on track. And even then, the only thing off track was  _how_ Validar died.

I ignored any other facts that seemed to put a dent in this line of thinking.

In the end, I didn't say a single word as Emmeryn got into her cart and, flanked on both sides by Pegasus knights and accompanied by Phila, left. I watched as she rode off into the distance. My gaze switched from her wagon outlined by the horizon to Chrom and Lissa with worried looks on their faces.

I made my choice, and condemned an innocent woman to death because of my own fear and cowardice. How would I be able to look either of them in the eye after what I did?

I grimaced and buried my face in my hands.

_You made your choice. Live with it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap.
> 
> By the time you guys see this, Three Houses will be out. Hopefully you don't lose interest in this story because it's a Self-Insert into a now 7 year-old game. That'd just break my spirit!
> 
> JK, I'd still write this story because I'm honest to God still enjoying it for some reason. It's safe to say my writing has actually sped up in the past few weeks. We're probably just over halfway through Act 1 of this story, so the end of this part of the ride is near!
> 
> Unfortunately for our tortured protagonist, THE RIDE NEVER ENDS!
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord server: /9XG3U7a
> 
> See you guys next time!


	11. Unraveled

I didn't sleep well the night Emmeryn went back to Ylisstol. Nor did I sleep well for several nights after that. Three months of telling myself it would be the best decision, and I was losing sleep over it when it happened. I wished I was a stronger or better person, because in that case I'd either be able to live with the decision, or actually fucking prevent Emmeryn's death. But no. I was stuck with who I was. Try as I might, I couldn't change myself in time. I could neither harden my heart nor bolster my courage.

I felt like an absolute  _coward_.

We still had a few days to Bellator, where we would request additional soldiers to help out Ylisse's frankly pathetic army. Even with more soldiers, though, I knew the hopes of those around me were misplaced. Aside from one freak occurrence, things had mostly stayed the same. In the end, Ylisstol would fall, and Emmeryn would be captured. Then she would meet her end by her own hand.

_…I'd forgotten how tragic that entire situation was and will be._

Nevertheless, I couldn't mope around forever, or at least I couldn't appear that I was. People would start asking questions, and I was already getting some weird looks. It'd only be a matter of time until someone approached me to ask me what was wrong. The Shepherds we good people like that. They took care of their own.

A part of me wondered what right I had to stand among them.

A few days after the Battle at Breakneck Pass, I found myself in a bit of a conundrum. I remembered that Donnel got into a little bit of trouble, and that I basically went berserk and helped him out. But there was one other detail that I'd known about and didn't act upon.

Cordelia saved my life; she'd swooped in and impaled the Wyvern Rider before they split my head like a coconut. I thought that, at the very least, I should thank her for what she did.

Unfortunately, for the longest time, I couldn't find her.

I got directions, sure, but when I actually got to where they said she was, she was nowhere to be found. The places where she supposedly was were always somewhat…  _better_  than what I remembered, though. For instance, there were a few weapons that would gain nicks or rust while we fought and marched, and usually we would put them in this big crate to mend later. When I tried to find her one time, the entire designated crate was  _empty_ , and the one that held all our excess weapons was almost filled to bursting with shining, polished spears, swords, and axes.

I'd known she was really good at almost everything, but it almost seemed like she was doing work to forget something.

_Sound familiar, boy scout?_

I kept searching, though. And eventually, I found her.

Cordelia was among the supply wagons, in the hot sun, taking inventory. Just like I'd been doing just a little over a week before.

_And here you were thinking you'd actually done a decent job at that. It hasn't even been a week since you did it._

She was gorgeous, but most women I'd met since coming to Ylisse were gorgeous. Long red hair trailed down her back, with red eyes shooting back and forth as she read the manifest in her hand. Even then, long after the battle had ended, she was still wearing her Pegasus Knight uniform.

"Um… Hello?" I called out, nervously.

Unlike what I would've done, she didn't jump. Instead, she calmly looked up. "Yes? I am a bit busy at the moment."

"Yeah, I can tell…" I coughed. "Name's Alex. You're Cordelia, right?"

"Yes, I am," She confirmed. "Did you need something? As I said, busy." She said, looking down at the manifest again. "These manifests are a mess… Who worked on these before me?"

I decided not to chime in and say that  _I_ had that duty last. "Okay, good. I just… wanted to thank you, actually," I explained. "You kinda saved my life back at the Pass. Not sure if you remember it, but you stopped a Wyvern Rider from splitting my head open?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes! I remember that," She said after a moment. "I appreciate it, but I don't think your thanks are necessary. I was merely doing what I was supposed to do."

"Yeah? Well, doing what you're supposed to be doing saved my life, so thanks," I rebutted.

"Very well," She sighed. "Now, is there anything else? After this I have other things I need to do."

_Yeah, she has a shit ton of things to do, Alex. Like scrub dirt and polish trees._

I stepped forward and leaned on the side of one of the wagons. "Actually, what are you doing? From what everyone keeps telling me, you've been doing a metric shit ton around camp since you joined up."

I'd be damned if I was going to let the only good chance at a conversation I'd had in days go by like that. I had too much on my mind.

Cordelia held up the papers she had. "I'm making sure all our supplies are where they need to be," She explained. "That and revising some of the errors made by the person who apparently had this duty before me."

"…Oh," I mumbled. "What…  _exactly_ did this person do wrong?"

Her hand shook a bit as she opened a crate and began writing stuff down. "It's quite childish really. Their handwriting is less than adequate, and from what I've gathered, they even missed a few supplies! It's almost as if they weren't even trying! It's frustrating seeing such a vital part of our convoy being manhandled in this way. It's the least I can do to fix these errors. Besides, it is better than simply lounging around until we make it to Bellator."

Every word felt like a punch to the gut, and I had to keep myself from hunching over.

"Y-Yeah," I stuttered, holding up my fist. "The g- person who did that last sure was a lazy asshole, huh?"

"While I would not put it so…  _crassly_ , the sentiment is shared," Cordelia replied, looking back at me. "…Are you shaking?"

"N-No! I'm fine," I said, quickly regaining my composure. "It's just a bit chilly out here, don't you think?"

"…It's half-past noon in September, Alex."

I looked up at the sky, noticing how bright the sun really was, as well as feeling the sweat go down my back. "…So it is."

She looked at me strangely for a few moments. I had to change the subject, fast.

"So, ahem, you said you were going to do other things after this?" I asked quickly.

"…Indeed," Cordelia said, apparently letting go of my previous awkwardness. "After I'm done here, there are a few more weapons that need sharpening. I've noticed that a few tents have a tear in them, so I will need to mend them. Afterwards, before everyone goes to sleep, I'll need to procure more blankets from a nearby village. We're running low on those, or so I heard Frederick say."

I blinked. "…Wow. Really on top of things, aren't you? Don't you think that's… a bit  _much_ for one person to do?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Cordelia answered. "I  _do_ like to keep on top of things, though. If something needs to be done, then I shall do it. Simple as that."

I narrowed my eyes and stood straight up. "Uh huh. I know I don't really have a right to say this, but are you okay?"

Cordelia tilted her head. "…Why would I not be?"

"It's just that," I began. "God, there's no tactful way I can think of to say this, but I'm aware of…  _what happened_  back at the border. It's just that I've done what you're doing right now. That is, throwing myself into doing just about  _anything_ just so I don't have to think."

As I said this, her eyes widened and her grip on the manifest grew so tight it looked like her gauntleted fingers would tear through the paper.

I held up my hands. "I'm not trying to bring up bad shit, alright? Just wanna help."

Cordelia stared at me for several moments before she seemingly relaxed. She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath before opening them again. "…I apologize for that. What did you have in mind?"

"Nothing serious. Just… I've said this to a few people, but I'm good at hearing other people talk about their problems," I explained. "So, what I'm saying is, if you need someone to vent your frustrations to, I'm all ears."

Silence followed. With the conversation suitably soiled by yours truly, I thought it wise to just leave.

"I'll, uh, I guess I'll leave you to it, then. Offer always stands if you ever feel like it." I said, turning around to leave.

"…Alex," Cordelia said, making me turn around. "I… I'll think about it. Thank you for the offer, in any case."

I nodded, smiling slightly. "Yeah, no problem. See ya."

I left, my smile falling from my face as soon as I turned around again.

"Yeah, way to go, bud," I mumbled under my breath. "Maybe we should go to Robin and taunt him about his amnesia? Or, maybe, we should go to Lissa and tell her she's a bastard child? Just fucking excellent, you jackass."

It could have gone a lot worse, but it could have gone better, too.

* * *

Waiting for the inevitable news was unbearable.

For a week and a half, we traveled, skipping Auraegis and heading straight for Ferox. It was a hasty decision, but given the circumstances, it was understandable. Thankfully, Sumia and Cordelia made a few supply runs as we marched to stock up on the essentials. Our stores were running low, after all, and we hadn't setup up supply lines for such a comparatively small convoy.

I could understand all of this, and I couldn't stop thinking about how it was my fault that all of this was happening. After all, what would've happened had I spilled the beans? We would have been in such a different scenario that I likely wouldn't have recognized the plot from that point onward.

Instead, I said nothing, and let history take its intended course.

It occurred to me that Emmeryn had left back for the besieged Ylisstol weeks ago, and I was still thinking about it.

Thinking about things like that was the entire reason I threw myself into conversation and combat practice, much as I'd seen Cordelia doing. Maybe not the healthiest coping mechanism imaginable, but it worked. At least a little.

I was right when I asked myself if I could ever look Lissa and Chrom in the eye, though. I couldn't. I intentionally avoided talking to those two as much as I could. Deep down, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep away from them forever. Especially considering I was fucking working for one of them. Chrom I wasn't so worried about. We never were very close. I could easily call him my friend, but I'd never share the same bond Robin had with him in the game. Lissa, on the other hand, was the opposite.

We'd connected, certainly. I would never regret that. She helped me during my…  _episode_ , after all. And I did enjoy talking with her, to some extent.

Thankfully, we hadn't had a chance to really talk since Maribelle's trial. Too many things needed to be doing, not enough time.

However, there was one person who was close to Lissa. One person who knew I was becoming good friends with her.

We were close to Bellator; maybe about a day's march away, when I was  _cordially_ invited to tea by a certain drill-haired noble.

I debated whether I should go or not. On the one hand, I'd only spoken to Maribelle twice. A conversation between us in a controlled setting wouldn't be the worst idea in the world, considering what I knew about her. On the other hand, despite me knowing who she was at heart, I felt intimidated by her. Her haughty attitude, her mannerisms, all of it contributed to an image in my head that she was one person I didn't want to talk to.

Frankly, it was ridiculous to think that about somebody based on what I'd overheard of them. I could count on one hand how many words I'd spoken to her.

A small chat with the promise of tea wasn't such a bad thing, right?

That's what I kept telling myself as I approached her tent, anyhow.

Maribelle, unsurprisingly, had her own tent. It didn't look all too different from the regular rugged tents most of the other Shepherds used, but as I got closer, I could tell the material was different. Softer and lighter than the rest.

I took a deep breath and gulped down my excess saliva. Might as well get it over with.

I approached the flap but realized it might be rude to simply enter without announcing myself.

_How does one knock on a tent flap?_

"U-Um," I stammered. "Hello? Er, I was invited earlier. Nice letter and all. You wanted to have tea with me?"

There was a bit of shuffling from inside. I silently thanked God that she was actually in the tent, and I wasn't making a fool of myself. "Alexander, correct? Please, come in."

I entered unceremoniously and looked around.

The interior of the tent wasn't decorated, obviously, but I could still tell care was taken when putting down every part of it. The sun was still high in the sky, and the lighter color of the tent's fabric made the inside look brighter and somehow more cheerful than other tents. A nice, well-made white table as well as two chairs sitting opposite of each other, as well as a fluffy bedroll, completed the interior.

All in all, it almost made me want to leave instantly from how uncomfortable it made me, but I persevered. I'd already committed; there was no backing out now.

Maribelle sat properly on the chair farthest away from me, gently pouring tea into two cups, setting one in front of herself and one on the other side.

Maribelle motioned to the chair in front of her. "Please, have a seat. We have much to discuss."

"…Fair enough," I replied, gingerly sitting on the chair. It felt stiff. "Have to admit, didn't expect to be invited for tea today." I said nervously.

"Indeed? It is a common pastime for higher-class Ylisseans," Maribelle supplied, sipping. "Of course, it is plain to see you are neither nobility nor Ylissean, so I suppose you can be excused."

I winced as she said that. "…Yeah, not exactly keeping it a secret, am I?" I took a sip myself. For some reason, it tasted just a bit bitter. "Though I like to think I've done a pretty da- well, a good job at assimilating."

"Hmm, you have tried. It is more than can be said for others," Maribelle said offhandedly. "What I wanted to discuss with you was where you come from. I have heard about it from others, this 'United States', but I always find tracking down information to its source will give you the unaltered facts."

I leaned back, feeling her words wash over me. It was exactly what I was expecting. Maribelle was a lot friendlier than I thought she'd be, though.

_And here you were thinking she was going to get on your case for getting close to Lissa. Who are you to judge people, boy scout?_

"Okay," I said finally. "What do you wanna know?

* * *

I had to hold in a laugh as Maribelle's face broke into disbelief when I told her something I'm sure she never expected to hear.

"Y-You can't possibly… You mean to tell me that this United States has no nobility?"

"Well, that may not be entirely true," I corrected myself. "There is an 'elite'. The one percent, if you will. Old Money and New Money, all that good stuff. It's a lot more complicated than what you have here. Basically, in a way, we do have nobility, just not the kind you're used to."

"…Indeed," Maribelle said after a moment. "That is certainly… unexpected. So, if I am understanding you correctly, the United States is run by commoners?"

"Er, the common man, yeah," I agreed. "Most officials are voted in by the populace, although the Electoral College is a bit  _eh_ , if you know what I mean."

"I do not know what you mean," Maribelle countered, ignoring her teacup. "You have not spoken of this 'Electoral College' yet. Is it some sort of institution in which the students are taught how to…  _vote_?"

I cringed. "Um, no. Hang on, lemme explain this better…"

* * *

"This United States is a country ruled by plebeians," Maribelle concluded. "That is what I have gathered from what you've told me. And yet, paradoxically, you claim that it also has some sort of nobility that is different from Ylisse's."

I shrugged, taking a swig from my teacup afterwards. "That means I've probably done a poor job of explaining it. Not a hard thing for me to do, in all honesty." I put my teacup down and leaned forward. "But, that's about all I know about our government. The details have become a lot fuzzier over time, though. It's… been a long time since I've been home, Maribelle."

"And yet you've talked for well over an hour." Maribelle pointed out. "I at least understand the basics. The United States, this U.S., where is it located?"

Up until this point, I'd happily shared with her everything she asked for. A small bit of history, how the government worked, and a small bit about how I lived in particular. It may have been a stupid idea to give away so much information, considering the U.S. didn't exist in the Fire Emblem universe, but I was just happy to talk. It was easier than I was expecting, considering it was Maribelle I was talking to. More importantly, it was  _stress free_.

That all came crashing down the minute she asked that question.

It was a good thing I wasn't drinking the remainder of my tea, because I would've spat it out.

"E-Erm…" I stuttered. This only made her narrow her eyes. "I-I mean, it's… somewhere. You probably won't find it on very many maps, but it's to the west of here. Like, the  _far_  west. On a completely different continent.  _Very_ difficult to find."

"…Indeed?" Maribelle said slowly, still sitting as proper as ever. "That is very strange. Although, I suppose the only maps that show that area of the world are hundreds of years old. I do not understand why you would find it so difficult to say where it is, however. In fact, it is almost as if you are hiding something."

"E-Eh, why would I want to do that?" I asked back, feeling like I was sweating bullets. "It's just that no one's asked me that question. Was, uh, kinda unprepared for it, if you get what I mean. I know for a fact it's west of here, but beyond that, not much else I can tell you without a map of the da- the place." I thought for a second. "My way here was… kinda  _blind_. Starting to think I came here by accident."

"Then why do you remain?" Maribelle asked, pouring herself more tea. "Surely if your being here was an accident, then you would want to travel back from whence you came? I'm certain you could find a captain who'd be willing to take you in that direction."

"Well, I mean, I could," I conceded. The truth was far more complicated than that unless I could find an Outrealm Gate. If that even existed. "But at this point, I've already connected with so many people here. It'd be a shame to just leave that all behind. Besides combat training, that would just make my last three and a half months here a waste of time, in a way. At least, that's my opinion on it."

"Hmm. An interesting reason." Maribelle commented, sipping gracefully.

"One of many," I clarified, nodding. "But that's one of the bigger ones."

I  _did_ have many reasons for staying at this point, despite all the…  _stress_  I was going through. Stopping those thoughts from continuing, I kept the conversation going. It felt like I'd just dodged a bullet with Maribelle's question.

* * *

I took a deep breath as I leaned back exhausted in the pristine white chair. My back felt cramped and doing so relieved the pain somewhat. Maribelle, however, looked just as prim and proper as she did when I first entered, despite that being well over two hours ago. She watched me idly as I sighed and leaned back forward, ready to get the entire ordeal behind me finally. It had been a long two hours, and it was finally going to end.

_Back to brooding it is, then._

"This has been an… illuminating conversation, Alexander," Maribelle said. "I have been studying how peasants such as yourself operate in Ylisse, but to hear of a country completely run by them is, to put it bluntly, incredible."

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly for what felt like the fiftieth time that day. "Yeah, just stop calling me Alexander, alright? It makes me feel weird."

"And why is that?" Maribelle asked, raising a perfect brow in confusion. "That is your name, is it not?"

I cringed. "Well, because my mom was the only person who ever called me by my full first name like that. You can guess how… awkward that is, right?"

"I see. That was not my intention," Maribelle said. "I do thank you for your time. It is quite clear you are no threat to Lissa."

I smirked, beginning to walk towards the tent flap. "Yeah, no problem- Wait, it is-  _What?_ " I couldn't help but do a double take, turning completely around.

"You do not have to be so loud," Maribelle chided lightly, picking up her parasol. "I thought it quite simple. My intentions were two-fold, you see. While I had my back turned, you came from an enigmatic place no soul has ever heard of and got close to my darling Lissa. To simply confront you would be so very brutish," Maribelle's red eyes met mine. "From what you have told me of your country, and be extension yourself, I have concluded that you're no threat to her. There is still the case of where your country is located, something which you were so nervous to tell me, but for now I am satisfied."

I don't know why, but it hurt a little to hear her say that.

"…Well," I mumbled. "Glad you got what you needed, I guess."

"Oh, do not put on such a face. It is unbecoming of you," Maribelle said. "I did say my intentions were two-fold, after all. Your origins were genuinely intriguing to me. I would not mind hearing more of it some other time."

_After this, I'm not sure I want to. But sure. Whatever._

"Just give me a holler if you ever wanna hear more," I replied. "I'll be somewhere, I'm sure."

"Of course. See you some other time, Alex."

"Yeah, bye."

I'd gone into her tent to get my mind off of things, and in a way that worked. Yet, I left feeling worse somehow. In the end, I understood Maribelle's reasoning. I remembered she cared so much for Lissa she was willing to  _die_ for her. If  _that's_  not dedication, then I didn't know what was. It still made me feel uncomfortable.

Still, I dropped it; it wasn't worth dwelling on.

I threw myself into training for the rest of that day.

* * *

I just could not stop thinking about it, no matter how hard I tried.

After finally making it to Bellator again, we were given the support we needed almost immediately. I always wondered why Flavia was so receptive to Chrom's requests, and I doubted I would ever know why. It wasn't really my place to know, anyway. We were going to stay in Bellator for a few days, though. Preparing an entire army took time, after all, although Chrom seemed to have his mind on other things. Sometimes, he'd space out in the middle of a conversation, his face disturbingly blank. I knew what was going through his mind, and it pained me to know that I'd done nothing about it.

Within the rapidly chilling city, it felt like my foreknowledge was burning a hole through me. It got worse over time. As much as it disgusted me to admit it, it was easy to shoulder when Emmeryn first left, despite that small bout of me just not feeling like doing anything just after it.

_What kind of hero lets an innocent woman die just because he thinks the future being set in stone with save himself and, perhaps, those he's grown to know? You know all bets are off, and yet you're still doing this._

Thoughts like that went through my mind on a nightly basis. Every time I closed my eyes to go to sleep, I'd hear it. I'd feel it. And it just kept getting worse. What was once a distant problem I knew I'd have to face someday was now knocking on my fucking door, waiting to be let in. I just wanted to bury my face into a pillow and shout bloody murder. It might've made me feel better in the moment. I knew it would just come back, though, like a malignant tumor.

I'd gone to bed early that night in the hopes that I could finally get some good sleep, only to be rebuked by my own body. I tossed and turned in bed like I was sick, until finally settling for blankly looking at the ceiling. It was made of wood, but I wasn't nearly knowledgeable enough to know what type. Lightly splintered and frayed around some edges. Looked to be old and sturdy, however, in my opinion, they probably should've been replaced soon.

I imagined the wood splintering and cracking, and the splinters falling towards me, looking larger than they actually were, ready to pierce my face and put an end to my pathetic life.

I sat up, grimacing while massaging my face. "Fuck my fucking  _life_ …" I whispered harshly.

I looked to my left to see a window, showing the setting sun. At any other time, I'd describe it as gorgeous. Oranges, reds, and a little pink all spread out across the clear sky like I was in a painting. It was utterly  _breathtaking_.

Unfortunately, all I could think about was how it counted down one more day to Emmeryn's demise.

"Stop… fucking… thinking about that, you stupid bastard!" I growled, repeatedly hitting myself in the forehead to no avail. No luck. I sighed, getting up out of bed and putting on a simple tunic, pants, and shoes. Knowing me, there would be no sleeping tonight.

I opened the door to the hallway, cringing slightly as I heard the, to my ears at least, loud as hell creaking. It would be too much to ask to have it oiled, wouldn't it?

We were allowed to stay within Bellator's final stage-looking palace, thankfully. If not, we'd probably have to rent out rooms in the inns downtown, and in Bellator, you did  _not_ want to go downtown. At least, that's what the drunkard who came up to me said as we entered the city. Nice enough guy, even if the smell of his breath brought up unpleasant memories.

If we were in an inn, that would also mean I'd have a harder time avoiding people. In a castle like this, however, it was easier. Well, that and it appeared there was a grand total of  _zero_ people around, apparently. The only footsteps that echoed through those halls were my own.

This did nothing to settle my nerves, and I felt  _warm_ , despite the temperature in Bellator being almost in the low fifties.

I walked those halls for what felt like hours, but in reality, it was probably only minutes. It was slightly more soothing than just laying down in an uncomfortable bed, but not by much. As I walked those halls, however, thoughts from the last time I did something like it nearly flooded my mind.

_The fire is growing, the rabbit is hungry, Alex, the rabbit is hungry and it is gonna tear you apart and eat your skin-_

" _God damnit…!_ " I hissed through clenched teeth, stopping at a random window. "Why… Why in the name of God can't I just calm the fuck down!? I just fucking can't…!"

It wasn't like the way I was in combat; it was different. It felt like there was something around the corner, or something staring at me from the dancing shadows cast by the setting sun. I didn't feel  _safe_. It didn't feel as strong as the turmoil I was experiencing regarding Emmeryn's oncoming death, bit it felt deeper. Like it was just waiting for its turn.

I rubbed my forehead, feeling cold, slick sweat roll down my hand. It felt like something was about to give. This knowledge and these thoughts were going to make me have a motherfucking  _breakdown_  at the rate it was going. My coping mechanisms were woefully unprepared to deal with two things at once.

_You see that window there? Why don't you jump out of it?_

That particular thought chilled me to the bone. Luckily for me, someone just happened to come along at just the right time.

"…Alex? Is that you?"

I froze. Even my breathing stopped. I could hear my vertebrae creaking as I turned around. A certain blonde-haired princess was looking curiously at me.

"…Lissa," I rasped in greeting. I shook my head, attempting to make what I said next sound less like I'm being strangled. "What're you doing out here?"

She looked at me everywhere except in the eye. An action I'd been doing to her for several weeks up to that point. "Well… You kinda ran off after dinner today. And, er, with all this stuff happening, I've just kinda been… wandering, I guess. It helps me not think about what Emm is going through…"

I looked down at that, guilt clawing its way through my chest. "Yeah, I can see how'd that would dampen your spirits. Chrom's been pretty distant lately, too, so that probably hasn't helped," I shifted my gaze back up. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry that this has happened."

_You're apologizing for much, much more. And even then, it won't be enough to absolve you._

Lissa shuffled her feet awkwardly. "I-It's fine, really! Um, well, it's not  _fine_ fine, but… You get what I mean, right?"

I nodded, still not looking her in the eye. "Yeah, yeah I do. I had-  _have_ a sister too. Younger than me, but my point still stands. If something were to happen to her, I doubt I'd have a better time coping with it than either of you. She'll…" I felt myself choking up. Viciously forcing down the golfball in my throat, I continued. "She'll be fine. I'm sure of it. We have an entire army here, plus the Shepherds."

"Y-Yeah, I know all that, but…" Lissa trailed off before finding her voice again, an uncharacteristic frown on her face. "T-There hasn't been any word from Ylisstol since we split, and I'm just… I just can't help but worry and stuff and it's really making it hard to do  _anything_ and Maribelle has been helping but-!"

"Lissa. Lissa!" I called out, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Calm down. I can barely understand a word you're saying."

_And whose fault is it she's like this, boy scout?_

Lissa wiped at her face with her sleeve, steadying herself. "I-I'm sorry! I just… O-Okay. I'm- I'll be better in a second…"

I stood there and waited as Lissa pulled herself back together. The normally cheerful girl who I'd honest to God started seeing as a little sister nearly broke down in the middle of the hallway. All because of my lack of action.

_You know, it's not too late. You can still do something. It wouldn't be a surefire as doing it at Breakneck Pass, but it would give her a better chance than doing nothing would have. All you need to do, is go to Robin, explain everything, and voila. No dead Emmeryn, and you can pass on with a clear conscience._

"…You okay?" I croaked, before coughing into my fist. "Mean, you okay?"

"Y-Yeah," Lissa confirmed shakily. "It's just… just been a stressful couple of weeks, you know?"

"Don't  _I_ fucking know it…" I mumbled under my breath, leaning on the wall and looking out to the sun, which had almost completely vanished below the horizon. "…Hey, Lissa, lemme ask you a question."

Lissa had stared out the same window I was until I spoke. "Uh, sure. What?"

I thought for a moment, wondering just how the hell I was going to phrase it in a way that didn't come off as incredibly odd or stilted. "Let's say, you know something, and you're the only one who knows it," I began. "With this knowledge, you can save someone's life. However, if you do, you put the lives of others at potential risk. What would you do?"

Lissa gave me an odd look. "That's… a really strange thing to ask, huh?"

I failed at making it not seem odd, but I continued anyway. "Humor me. Read it in a book once, believe it or not. Just thought I could use that to, well, get your mind off stuff. What's better at doing that than a thought experiment?"

"Uh, well, I guess you're right," Lissa conceded, putting a finger to her lip in thought. "It's a little hard to say what I'd do, I guess. I'd like to think I could do the first part, but then the second part makes it all risky and stuff. But… if I had to make a choice, I'd save someone's life." Lissa said finally. "I mean, there's no way to know that those other people will die for certain, right? Or, I guess, nothing bad'll happen to them. I'm not the best with chance, hehe…"

I looked down, attempting to keep tears from falling. Sure, the way I phrased the question made it seem so simple. But for her to say it just like that… In that moment, I made a decision that would change everything and set me on an inescapable path.

With regret and guilt sapping away at me, I nodded. "I see," I said quietly. "That's an inspiring answer, Lissa."

"Heh, didn't think it was so great. I mean,  _I_ wouldn't wanna be in a problem like that, but you gotta do best with what you have, right?" Her face fell slightly as she looked at me. "Um, are you okay?"

"…Yeah," I said finally, looking up with a smile plastered on my face. "Just a bit tired is all. Think I'll head back to my room now. See ya in the morning, right?"

Lissa nodded, but she still looked at me funny. "Uh, yeah, right! We'll probably hear some good news in the morning. It's just, it being night and all. Gets you in a bad mood, huh? Anyway, yeah, see ya!"

I waved as I walked past her, my smile not reaching my eyes.

Going down the hallway, I walked past my own door. My breathing felt shaky and labored as I went on my way.

I had to go to Robin's room.

* * *

I walked through several hallways with a new purpose. On reflection, it didn't take a lot for me to break in regards to letting Emmeryn die. In my mind, that was pathetic of me; the fact I needed somebody else to get me to move my ass and actually do something made me feel even more like a jackass than I already knew I was. Still, at least I was doing something.

I wasn't too late, I kept telling myself. It wasn't too late. There was a chance to save her. It wouldn't be as certain as stopping her before we got to Breakneck Pass, but it was  _something_.

After a while, I found myself outside Robin's door, just standing there. Completely motionless, I stared at the worn wood. Robin had picked the room he had the last time we were in Bellator. Lucky me that I just happened to know where that was.

I wasn't sure how long I stood in front of Robin's door. It may have been a few seconds or minutes, or thirty minutes to an hour. If it was the latter, though, someone would have gotten curious or something, so it was probably only a few minutes at the most. My mind swirled with traitorous thoughts. I could turn around and just go back to bed. I didn't have to tell him now or ever. Canon was still on track – minus a few hiccups – after all.

_Only that's not true. The Black Knight-looking mofo already disproves that. You're just looking for excuses not to go through with this. Knock on his door, boy scout._

I gulped, feeling nervousness well up in my chest. This was it.

I knocked on his door.

Of course, I had no way of knowing he was even in his room at the time. So for all I knew, I could've been making myself look like an idiot. Despite that, I heard footsteps on the other side of the door, and a moment later, it opened.

Robin appeared tired, but the minute he saw me, his expression brightened slightly. "Alex. What a pleasant-" His face fell once he saw my expression. "…Is something wrong?"

I didn't look him in the eye. I was doing that a lot. "…Yeah. I guess you could say that," I replied quietly. "Can… Can I come in?"

"…Sure. Come in." He said slowly, unsure. He opened the door fully, allowing me entrance.

Robin's room was spartan, just like every other room in the Feroxi death castle we were in. A table sat in the middle, with a map of the entire continent, as well as several seemingly smaller areas around it. A bed was placed almost haphazardly in the corner, right next to the window.

"I was actually predicting possible enemy movements before you came in," Robin explained, sitting down in a chair. "Not that I mind you dropping by; a small chat could serve as a much-needed distraction." He leaned forward, lacing his fingers under his chin. "Now, are you going to tell me why you're scowling so badly?"

I raised my brows in surprise, before forcing my expression into something more neutral. "I… actually have something I need to tell you. It's not the easiest thing for me to say, but…"

"Alex, by all means, I'm listening."

I brace my arms against the table, my heart beating like a drum in my chest as I forced the words out.

"I know how, and when, Emmeryn is gonna die."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it. One of the shorter chapters, along with the next one, but hopefully its content makes up for that.
> 
> Been playing 3H a lot, so writing for this will probably slow down. This won't end, I assure you. Just gonna slow down.
> 
> Not much to say here, other than I look forward to what you guys have to say about this one.
> 
> See ya next time!


	12. Crime and Punishment

Sweat formed and beaded on my brow as I slashed and stabbed at the training dummy that had been set up on the outskirts of camp. I ignored that unpleasant sensation as I blew off steam.

The rays of the setting sun glinted off my sword as I swung again, getting it caught in the wooden pseudo-armor. I wrenched it free, nearly cutting the dummy in half when I did. Training was, if that wasn't obvious, one of the many coping mechanisms I'd taken up. It was certainly healthy physically. As long as I didn't overdo it, of course. Still, no matter how hard I swung my sword or destroyed the training dummy, I just couldn't get my confession to Robin out of my head, and it had been well over a week since that happened.

I gritted my teeth as my sword cut through the dummy again, the memories flowing through my mind.

* * *

_"…and… that's it," I finished, finally. Strangely, despite what I'd expected, I didn't feel any lighter from what I'd just done. If anything, I felt an intense pressure._

_Robin's red eyes glared at me. His fist was clenched so tightly I could see blood seeping through his gloves. I winced. Maybe there was some part of me hoping he wouldn't be angry, but even though I'd never seen it, what I was looking at was a very pissed off Robin._

_No, actually, more like livid._

_I held my hands out and bowed my head. "I-I… I know this is a lot to take in. Honestly, when I first came here I c-couldn't really believe it myself, but there. I just… couldn't hold it in anymore, I guess. You… You must think I'm pathetic, right?"_

_Robin snarled, nearly jumping out of his seat and grabbing me by the collar of my tunic. Despite me having a few inches over him, I could still feel myself being lifted a bit._

_"You were going to let my best friend's sister die all because of… what in the world kind of explanation was that!?" He shouted. I looked away, unable to stare him in those damn eyes. "What do you think I could possibly think of someone who would do that!?"_

_"I know, damnit, I know!" I yelled back, in spite of my instinct to just take it like I deserved. "I… I wanted everyone to make it out of this alive, for fuck's sake! You know what I just told you! If…If I let her die, then that was virtually guaranteed. At least, that's what I told myself…"_

_"And yet, the other evidence you've provided attests to the contrary!" Robin countered savagely, moving his face closer. "The damned Deadlord. And your very presence! Whatever legends or prophecies you may or may not have read, you should have done something the instant you knew- No, you should have done something the instant you had the chance! Dastard!"_

_Robin pulled a fist back. I readied myself and closed my eyes, waiting for it-_

* * *

I growled as my sword got caught again. This time, when I pulled it out, the dummy crumbled into hay and splinters on the ground. Breathing heavily for a moment, I focused on the next dummy just to the side. Luckily for me, there were a lot of them. There had to be, considering the amount the Shepherds broke. Including me.

At least we had them at all. Fairly easy to put up, too.

The whole caravan was a bit understocked. This had to do with our hasty exit from Bellator after the news that Ylisstol had fallen came. Happened the morning after my talks with Lissa and Robin, too. If I hadn't already been dealt a metaphorical gut punch that night, I might've reacted more to it.

* * *

_The punch never came, although I was completely aware that I deserved it. It all felt so much clearer when it's laid out by someone else._

_I opened my eyes and felt the grip on my tunic loosen. Robin backed up, his footsteps sounding like bombshells to my ears._

_A few moments of silence followed, until Robin broke it. "I never expected this," He said quietly. "Just… this. How could you do something like this? I trusted you. I considered you a friend, and then you do… you try and let someone die because of your own fear."_

_"…I know," I replied sullenly, sitting down and looking into nothing. "Looking back on it, I wonder why I didn't say anything. I just… Yeah. Yeah, I'm really fucking horrible, aren't I?"_

_"My opinion is hardly unbiased at the moment, but I would agree," Robin's face curled into something unpleasant to look at. "Alex, these people, my friends, my family, were about to lose someone dear to them because you said nothing. I cannot remember anything prior to several months ago. You, although I'm questioning it now, and everyone in the Shepherds, are the only family or friends I've ever known, and despite my complaints, I consider Emm one among them, too. And you were about to let her die," Robin looked at me like he was staring at a stain on the ground. "I can honestly say that I've never been this angry in my entire known life."_

_"…Yeah." I said hollowly._

_What could I even say to that?_

* * *

I snarled as my sword cut the dummy's head off. It's patchwork head of fabric and hay rolled on the dirt as the wooden bucket used as a helmet rolled around before settling on its side.

I was wheezing at that point. A sign I should've probably stopped. But something in me wanted to answer a question: what will give out first, our training dummy supply, or my body? A difficult question, and time consuming. Luckily, it was going to be answered soon.

The last thing I thought about, before I went back at it, was what Robin asked me to do before I left that night.

* * *

_I sat there, the stifling silence washing over me. Despite what I came to do, I didn't feel any less guilty or angry with myself. In fact, those feelings were only amplified. It wouldn't be wrong to say that's all I felt. In my mind, I just kept asking myself how I could've been so blind and stupid._

_There was nothing more for me to say; I'd said everything I needed to. Whatever Robin did with the information I gave him, I wasn't really sure I cared anymore. As long as Emmeryn didn't die because of my inaction, I'd be satisfied. That was what mattered, not my feelings or my fear, but that. I preferred it that way._

_The chair creaked as I got up and motioned to leave._

" _Where are you going?" Robin rasped._

" _Where else? My room. I've told you everything."_

" _We both know that's not true," Robin rebuked, getting up himself. "As much as I want to let you leave and tell you to never speak to me again, there is one crucial part that I need your help with."_

_I turned around, frowning. "What…?"_

_Robin placed his gloved hands on the table, looking at a map of the continent. "You know how Emmeryn is going to be executed, as well as the Pegasus Knights that are with her. Therefore, you are going to stay here and help me plan this operation out. I will not do everything while you sit by and let me fix your mistakes. You will help me stop this tragedy from happening. Whatever plan of inaction you had regarding the future is stopped here, Alexander."_

_I couldn't choke any words out as I walked back and stood opposite of Robin on the table._

_Robin stared daggers at me. "I also know you haven't told me everything you know. Those amazingly contrived explanations on how you know all of this is frankly insulting. I don't care about them, though. Help me save Emmeryn, and you can keep all the secrets you want," He pointed at Plegia's capitol. "You told me this is where she's going to be executed…"_

* * *

I nearly collapsed as the last rays of sunlight vanished over the distant horizon. Despite the sweat dripping off my brow and chin, I forced myself to stay standing.

At that point, I'd been out there for hours.

Even though this all happened well over a week prior, it was so fresh in my memory I could recall it with a snap of my fingers. And that's saying a lot, because I forget a majority of the conversations I've had. I still clutched my sword tightly at the memory of it.

I sheathed my sword, finally, and went back to my tent, leaving the training dummies to the elements. I shared the tent with several other people, but I just always labelled it as 'My Tent' in my head.

So, yeah, I told Robin a lot of what would be happening in the near future, but not a lot about what would be happening in the somewhat distant future, although he did now know of Grima's Resurrection, as well as how Grima could return. The Valmese were still a mystery to him, but I was sure he suspected more conflicts just by dint of me having precognition in the first place. He may've also suspected that I knew his past, but he didn't say anything about it.

In hindsight, the explanation that I gave on how I knew all this shit was kinda weak. I mean, prophecies and myths? A kindergartener could've come up with a better explanation than the one I gave. I may have been influenced by what Lucina told me about my future self, but that was a poor excuse, and I knew it.

Just like all the ones I used to justify letting Emmeryn die.

I entered my tent, and to my surprise, it was empty save for all our sleeping cots. Sharing a tent with Donnel and Vaike could get a bit much at times, so I welcomed this change, even if I was sure they wouldn't be far behind. I took off my armor and laid down. Cots were uncomfortable, but it was better than sleeping on the floor.

Trying to focus on getting to sleep, I closed my eyes and tried to block out any sounds. Southwest Ferox was less of a quagmire than it was during the Summer months, and many of the bugs I was sure called that place home were dead or dying. It was October, as far as I could tell, and Fall in Ferox could be just as brutal as Winter in certain areas.

I tossed and turned, unable to get even an ounce of shut-eye. Groaning, I sat up, feeling sweat roll down my back in streams. It wasn't even hot outside, especially considering it was night, but I was still sweating like a pig.

"God, fucking, damn you…" I growled out, noticing that neither Vaike nor Donnel were around still. I would've been worried if I didn't think those two were out playing poker or something like that. Hopefully.

Unfortunately for me, I wasn't in the mood for poker. I would've been a downer at that week's session anyway.

I perked up when I heard armored footsteps outside the tent. My first thought was that we'd been sneak-attacked in the middle of the night. It would've been hard to pull off, but not impossible. And since canon was likely to be thrown out the window completely soon, I felt like I couldn't take any chances.

The footsteps stopped at the flaps to my tent, standing there for several seconds. Was it hesitation? Or maybe they were waiting for me to come to them?

Despite my better judgment, I got up, making as little noise as I possibly could, before slowly approaching the entrance. Quickly, making the person on the other side yelp lightly, I forced the flaps open, revealing the moonlit landscape in front of me.

It also revealed Cordelia on the other side. A fact that took me a couple seconds to register.

"Cordelia?" I asked, flabbergasted. "What're you doing here?"

Cordelia's red eyes looked at me like I was some sort of mutant. "What… are you doing?"

The flaps of the tent covered my torso, making me look like I was a head attached to the cloth itself. Well, that and the fact I overdramatically swished the flaps open probably made her question my sanity. Couldn't exactly blame her for that.

"…Nothing," I replied after a moment's silence. "Just… thought you were someone else. Did you need something?"

She bit her lip and looked from side to side like we were about to deal drugs or some shit. "You said I could come to talk whenever I was…?"

Realization struck me, and I cringed inwardly at my own stupidity earlier. "So, you came here for  _that_." I stated, feeling slightly awkward.

She nodded. "Yes."

I mumbled incoherently to myself for a few moments. Not being in the best position myself made me question if I should go through with it. However, I recognized that look in her eyes; Cordelia wasn't in a good place right then, either. What kind of monster would I be if I told her to go away, or come back some other time?

_The same kind of monster who-_

I shook my head. Not like I had much else better to do. Might as well spend it with someone I like. Donnel and Vaike wouldn't have been coming back for a while anyway.

Despite myself, I looked from left to right myself, before motioning for her to come in.

Cordelia followed me. For a few moments, she looked around the interior of the tent. Must've not been very interesting, because her eyes were back on me soon enough.

"Go ahead and have a seat on one of the cots or something," I waved off. "Might not be the most comfortable but it's better than sitting on the ground."

"Yes, well, thank you." She replied, her armor clinking a little as she did so.

My eyes trailed along her intricate armor, wondering why she was wearing it instead of normal clothes. I shook it off either way before sitting in front of her.

"Well, I'd offer you tea, but I don't have any. So just keep talking until you can't anymore," I said, rubbing the back of my head. "Whatever you have to say, I'll listen."

Cordelia's brow furrowed as she took a deep breath. "Yes. Allow me to collect myself." She breathed out. "I have… had some time to think, since you first offered to hear my worries. I really do appreciate it."

"Don't mention it," I replied easily. Almost on reflex, really. "Thinking… Thinking about your… squad, right? The one at the border…?"

She grimaced. It looked unnatural on her pretty face. "Yes. Losing them has affected me in ways I didn't anticipate."

"I'll say," I commented. "For those first few weeks I don't think you slept. Losing friends'll do that to you."

"Pah,  _friends_!" Cordelia parroted, almost mockingly. "I certainly didn't feel like a friend to any of them. All the name-calling, the hazing… And yet, their deaths were the entire reason I worked myself so hard, just as you said," She tucked a loose strand red hair behind her ear. "It's confusing. They all sacrificed themselves so that I lived, for some reason only the gods know now. That… That is so very confusing to me."

I paused for a second, mulling over her words. "Well, lemme tell you a little secret of mine. Just a few months ago I was taken away from everyone I ever knew or loved. All of them, gone," I snapped my fingers. "Just like that. The first few months I spent here, I worked my ass off; training, testing my endurance, stuff like that. Basically, doing everything in my power to make sure I didn't have time to think. Hell, I'm still doing it!" I chuckled to myself lightly. "It's just that, I think that's what you were doing. Even if you don't think they saw you as a friend, you still cared about them. And that always hits hard."

_Let's ignore the fact you will never do anything to change that, boy scout. Might as well help her with her problems while you still have a shit ton of your own to sort through, huh?_

"That's… I'm sorry to hear that, Alex," Cordelia said, shifting her weight a tad. "I can see the similarities, but also the differences. I doubt your loved ones called you names to you face, much to the amusement of the others?"

"Honestly, you'd be surprised," I replied. "Sometimes a little group hazing can be a sign of acceptance. At least, I hope it is. Otherwise I think I've been living a lie my entire life."

"Heh," Cordelia laughed a little. "I certainly hope that is not the case for me. That would be…"

"…er, depressing, probably."

"Perhaps," Cordelia acknowledged. "Still, my problem regarding this still stands. They're all gone, and I'm still here. I'm still left wondering why they felt the need to sacrifice themselves for me. All of them were strong and capable in their own right. The things those Plegians did to them… Surely, they wouldn't feel the need to… to…" Cordelia clutched her head, tears falling down her pale face. "Oh gods…!"

"Woah-kay, let's just calm down, alright?" I said as soothingly as possible, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Take deep breaths. Slow and steady, okay?"

Cordelia nodded. I let go of her shoulder as she collected herself again. Once it seemed she was not in danger of breaking down again, I spoke.

"I'm not in any position to say what they might've been thinking," I began. "But I heard Phila say that they let you go because you were young, right? You have your whole life ahead of you. They wanted you to have a long and fulfilling life, in place of the ones they gave up," I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly. "That's just what I think, though. Can't really speak for them."

Cordelia looked me in the eye for several moments. They were still wet and puffy, but funnily enough I had no problem looking at them. For a second it seemed like she was about to break down again, but she was able to hold it back.

"I… I don't know what's worse." Cordelia whispered. "The fact that I may have misinterpreted their treatment of me, or that they died for me. So that I could live, like you said," She sniffled, shaking her head before looking back up at me. "I really do appreciate this, Alex. We should continue this some other time."

I wasn't sure how long we had stayed there talking for, but I imagined Vaike and Donnel wouldn't be much longer. How in the hell was I going to explain to them why Cordelia was there?

I'd never hear the end of it.

"Yeah, I've enjoyed this," I admitted. "Don't be afraid to come talk again if you ever feel like it, Cordy."

"I will be certain to- Wait," She had stood up and began walking to the tent flaps when she turned around. "'Cordy'?"

"…Oh, shit," I muttered to myself. "Er, yeah, a bit easier to say than Cordelia, you know?" She stared at me for a few moments. "U-Um, if you don't like it, I won't call you it again."

"It was just…unexpected," Cordelia said, before turning back around. "See you later, Alex."

I waved awkwardly. "Y-Yeah, see ya!"

Once she was gone, I sighed to myself. "That could've gone better."

It also could've gone worse, as Robin could attest.

* * *

Many things went through my mind as we crossed the Feroxi-Plegian border wall. Mostly being of the battle ahead, and of the plan I made with Robin. Robin himself hadn't so much as looked in my direction since the plan was drawn up, and I couldn't blame him. If I were in his position, I would've done the same thing. Hell, I would've punched me in the face given half the chance. The longer I thought, the more I realized that there was no good excuse for keeping shit like Emmeryn's death a secret. Robin was right. I should've, at the very least, said something once the Deadlord came around. And yet, I did nothing.

It was pointless dwelling on it, though. What was done was done. I ruined my friendship with Robin so that Emmeryn had a chance to live. Hadn't even said more than a couple words to the woman herself, but that didn't absolve me of guilt.

"Okay… Okay, you do know everything, right Gaius? Nothing I need to explain?"

Gaius waved his hand lazily. "I got it, Sailor. Isn't gonna be the first time I've dealt in unsavory business like this. 'Sides, if it's to save the Exalt, like Robin said, I won't have a problem doing it."

I massaged my temples as I tried not to look at the noon day sun, as well as try to ignore the sweat dripping off of me. "I know. I know you do. Just saying, this is important. If we fuck this up, Em- the Exalt is dead, alright? I really don't want that to happen."

The Plegian badlands were fucking awful. It wasn't humid, but it still felt hotter than hell itself.

"You know, you're really worrying me, Sailor," Gaius said. "You've been different lately."

"Er… what?" I asked, confused.

"You have these bags under your eyes, see?" He pointed at my eyes like I could actually try and look at them. "And you're always looking behind your shoulder like someone's about to jump you. Starting to think you've made enemies of the wrong people."

"I'm just gonna ignore how you know all that crap, especially the part about looking over my shoulder," I turned to him, nearly tripping over in the loose sand. "Maybe it's because of shit like that that I look over my shoulder. Ever thought of that?"

Gaius chuckled. "Someone's snippy today, huh? Just pointing out what I see, Sailor, no need to snap like that," He paused. "But seriously, starting to get a little worried. You haven't even shown up for game night for two weeks."

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "Just haven't felt like it," I grunted. "And this sand is gonna fucking kill me. We're moving so slow!"

"You've also been complaining a lot more." Gaius pointed out. "And obsessed with going faster. 'Course, Blue also wants to go faster. All this sand makes it a bit difficult, yeah, but it ain't so bad."

"I can feel it in my pants, Gaius."

"Eesh, didn't need to know that," Gaius coughed awkwardly. "Anyways, unless we have a full wing of Pegasi, or a convoy of mages, it's slow moving from here on out. All the way to the capitol of Plegia itself. Medlun's an interesting place, as long as you don't get the attention of those Grimleal dastards. Saw them drag a poor soul out in the middle of the street and take him to one of their safehouses. Never saw the guy again. Shame, too. Good man who could drink anyone under the table."

I squinted as the wagons were dragged up a sand dune. It was a good thing we stocked up on water before we left Ferox, and that the Shepherds were still a small private army. Otherwise, we'd be fucked.

"They drag people off in the middle of the night?" I asked curiously, looking off in the distance. "Sounds… well, it sounds awful. What kind of government are they running here?"

"Grimleal rule through fear, Sailor," Gaius explained easily. "Bet you a lollipop half the people you'll meet in this desert don't even worship Grima. Guess 'God of Destruction' doesn't really cut it unless you're  _really_ touched in the head, eh? That's the only good thing that's come from Gangrel's rule: Grimleal've taken a backseat politically. For now."

I looked at Gaius strangely before looking back at the desert. "You know a lot about Plegia, huh?"

"Had my fair share of jobs here, yeah," Gaius waved off. "Need jobs wherever you can take 'em, and Plegia has no shortage. Think after this war there'll be a whole lot more, though."

"You sound disappointed."

"Just because I like what I do, doesn't mean I like the circumstances surrounding it, Sailor." Gaius said coolly.

I mumbled something incoherently. Sounded like a cross between 'yeah', and 'sorry'. I was a bit busy looking at what had stopped the caravan cold in its tracks. Off in the distance were people; men in what looked like red and black hooded robes. The sun highlighted their forms, making them look like fire ants scurrying over the dunes.

Couldn't make out much beyond that, but I had a pretty good idea who they were.

_Did you really forget about Chapter 8?_

Why wouldn't I forget about Chapter 8? It was just a filler chapter as far as I could remember. One that introduced Gregor and Nowi, after I thought about it for a moment. Beyond that, nothing of note.

Gaius followed my vision and whistled once his eyes met the skulking fire ants. "Now those are Grimleal robes if I ever saw 'em. Even from this distance. What say we get to the front and see what the hold up is?"

Wordlessly, I followed Gaius.

* * *

When we got to the front of the caravan, I saw Chrom, Robin, and Frederick talking to one another. Chrom seemed distressed, while Robin and Frederick were calm.

"-I knew we were getting too far unhindered," Chrom claimed. "We should've seen this coming eventually."

"We have the advantage in this engagement, either way," Robin consoled. "The sand will slow us down, but they appear to be a small force at best."

"An astute observation, Robin," Frederick agreed. "Only mages and fliers will be able to traverse this desert unimpeded."

"Yes, which means we'll be making good use of them. Robin, let's discuss-" Chrom looked around Robin. "Oh, Gaius, Alex, what are you two doing here?"

"Sailor and I noticed those red folks down the dune, wanted to see what the problem was." Gaius explained lazily. "Grimleal by the looks of 'em."

When Robin turned around, I looked away. Keeping my vision on the Grimleal going across the desert like a swarm of ants. Had to have someone keeping an eye on them; never knew when Gregor and Nowi'd show up.

"…Grimleal? Yes, I've seen references to them in the books I've read," Robin said thoughtfully. "You know these are Grimleal, Gaius?"

Gaius was silent for a moment. "Yeah, ran into 'em a few times. Hard to miss those damned robes they wear. Horrible sense of fashion, you know. Not like 'em to just go wandering the desert like they are, though. Unless they're trying to find something."

I scanned the desert, noting that the Grimleal were going in a single direction.

"If they're looking for someone, I doubt it's for anything good," Chrom said, hearing him begin pacing in the sand. "…What my father did to Plegia wasn't right, but the Grimleal really are a force of evil. We need to stop them."

"Agreed, milord," Frederick replied. His armor clanked as he walked. "At your orders, I will mobilize our troops."

"Good. Robin?"

"They're scattered," Robin pointed out. "Most likely to search for something or someone, as Gaius said. I suggest we-"

My eyes widened as I saw two differently colored dots against the desert, running along the top of a dune before falling down its steep side. This seemed to attract the attention of the fire ant-looking Grimleal, who were immediately drawn in their direction.

"Gaius!" I called, turning back around. "Said they might be looking for someone, right?"

Gaius shrugged. "Well, said they'd be looking for some _thing_ , but sure. Why? See something while you were all brooding over there?"

I sputtered. "I-I'm not brooding, asshole! Look over there!" I pointed to the specks on the sandy horizon. "Think those guys are what the Grimleal are going after."

Robin and Chrom stepped forward, shielding the sun from their eyes.

"…Yes, all the Grimleal are converging on them," Robin said, pointing a gloved finger at them. "See? And that other one, the brown-haired one, looks like one of them. They're…" Robin stopped.

"They're chasing a little girl," Chrom finished grimly, taking a step back. "Robin, we're going to do something."

"This actually doesn't change the plan all too much," Robin replied. "I… hesitate to think what Grimleal would want a little girl for."

"Trust me, with the Grimleal, it's nothing good," Chrom said. "Quickly, let's discuss strategy…"

* * *

Robin's strategy, as it turned out, was simple. There weren't very many Grimleal travelling through that desert, and they were also spread out. We didn't outnumber them, but we did have something they didn't: Pegasus Knights. Only two, but for the purpose they had, they were enough.

The main force would cut straight through the main groups of Grimleal, while Sumia and Cordelia, along with two others who would be going with both, were going to take out individual targets. Sumia and Chrom were going to a group that seemingly had the leader of the Grimleal force, while Cordelia was going to help Gregor and Nowi.

I was chosen to go with Cordelia, something I started to think was petty revenge on Robin's part.

_Or maybe you're looking for justification, boy scout. How pathetic can you possibly be?_

I doubted I'd ever know why, but as we soared through the hot air, I couldn't help but think that the petty revenge theory wasn't so far off.

My arms were around Cordelia's waist in a near vice-like grip, while my legs were too stiff to even move. With my teeth chattering, I tried to avoid looking down.

I failed. The yelp I let out made Cordelia giggle.

"First time riding a Pegasus, I take it?" She asked dryly, taking a look back for only a moment.

"F-F-Fuck-!" I screamed. "W-What gave you that idea, my screeching voice or my arms!?"

"Both, really! Hehe," She laughed. "It's a bit uncomfortable moving like this. Perhaps you could loosen your grip around me?"

"I-If I do that, I'll fall…" I replied, panicking.

Despite my better judgment, I looked down. I nearly pissed my pants at the sight of it. The sandy ground looked so far away, and I could imagine myself plummeting through the clouds. I'd be flattened by gravity, becoming nothing more than a bloody pancake against the earth. I shut my eyes so tightly tears appeared at the corners.

I shivered at the thought of it. Either that or the surprisingly cool air.

"Don't worry; I won't let you fall!" Cordelia said comfortingly. "Besides, we're almost above the target."

My eyes widened so fast I was afraid my eyelids would sheer off my face. "…O-Okay, does that mean what I think it means? We're not g-going to just dive straight do-?"

"Hold on!" Cordelia shouted as she moved the reigns.

Next thing I knew, the air passing by us grew so loud that I couldn't hear anything. Not even my own heartbeat. It sounded like the roar of a giant monster. The Pegasus hadn't quite taken a nosedive, as far as I could tell, but we were heading towards the ground at  _ludicrous_ speeds.

The two dots I'd seen back at the convoy were now surrounded by a group of Grimleal. That's all I could make out before I closed my eyes out of abject terror.

_Gregor. Nowi._

There was a sudden  _stop_ as I heard a  _squelching_ sound, like somebody stabbing a tomato with a knife. I opened my eyes to see that we were just a few feet above the ground, and Cordelia had pierced one of the Grimleal through the chest. Her lunge was perfect; the spear went directly through the Grimleal's chest, killing him instantly.

"Alex, you know what to do!" Cordelia shouted. "Go!"

"R-Right-!" I stammered, all too eager to get off the flappy horse. Almost tripped while trying to get off it, but once my feet were firmly planted on the ground, I had no trouble. I unsheathed my sword and charged towards Gregor and Nowi's position.

"Gregor not go down so easily, yes?" Gregor's heavily accented voice rang out above the clashing of blades. I saw him effortlessly parry a Grimleal mercenary, slashing him across the chest before decapitating him. "No worry. No challenge here!"

His voice was on point. His appearance was that of a mercenary, obviously, with armor covering his tunic. Behind him was a panicking Nowi, clutching a stone tightly.

"Hang on; I'm coming!" I shouted, startling a Grimleal before my sword found its way through his neck. I didn't have time to finish him off before another came in front of me, trying to stop me from getting any further. Bad move on his part, as I blocked his first swing and swung at his legs, sending him to the ground. A well-placed stab through the chest ended him.

Cordelia flew through the air like a jet, easily cutting through several more Grimleal.

"Heh, reinforcements! See little lady, no worry! Just let Gregor do with the talking," Gregor said, turning back to Nowi before continuing the battle.

"Yeah, yeah, lucky for you they sent Mr. Happy Pants over here to help you!" I shouted, cutting through another Grimleal's defense and stabbing him through the chest twice. He fell to the sand twitching.

"I'm sick, sick, sick of this!" Nowi screamed. "Just get away from me!  _All of you!_ "

I didn't see it, because I was fighting really fucking hard, but it'd be hard to not notice the near-blinding light that erupted from Nowi at that moment. It stunned all of us, even the remaining Grimleal. What came out of that light almost made me gape in awe.

_Dragon_.

A dragon. A fuckmothering dragon. I knew I'd see one eventually, considering Nowi and Tiki were bound to show up, with Nah down the line, hopefully. Still, I never expected it to look quite like it did. Light green scales covered most of her reptilian form. Lightly feathered wings sprouted from her back, flapping to keep her aloft. Four muscular limbs dangled from her torso. And her head, that was the coolest part. An elongated snout, opened and breathing heavily, showing a row of sharp teeth.

The dragon breathed in.

And out came fire. Incandescent flames billowed from her maw, scorching several Grimleal right then and there. Their charred corpses were all that remained.

At that moment, I really hoped that Nowi realized we weren't the enemy.

The Grimleal remaining were easy pickings among the four of us. Luckily, it seemed that Nowi  _did_ see us as her rescuers, or at least her allies. It wasn't much longer that the remaining Grimleal were dead. Surprisingly, none of them fled.

"Haha!" Gregor laughed jovially, coming up to me. "Is good exercise, no? The red-hoods employed Gregor before, now see why!"

"…Uh huh," I replied, parsing his speech as best as I could. "Anyway, what about the dragon we just fucking saw!? Anyone gonna mention that?"

"I saw it, too," Cordelia said, dismounting her Pegasus and joining us. "Could it be that… is the little girl a manakete!?"

"You mean little miss?" Gregor asked. "Turn into big scaly dragon when holding stone, see? Former employers liked to make her do with the tricks and the jokes and jives. Gregor good guy! He see little miss in trouble and break out! Sadly, former employers not big fan of heroism."

Nowi walked shakily up to us. "I-I didn't know that… I'm sorry for calling you all those mean names earlier."

"Is no big problem, yes? Haha!" Gregor laughed, putting a hand on Nowi's shoulder. "Is as they say, water being under bridge!"

Nowi was small. Maybe even smaller than Ricken. Greenish-blonde hair framed her youthful face and was tied into a ponytail. The most uncomfortable fact, the one I'd completely forgotten, was that she was basically wearing just a  _bikini_  and  _thong_ , with shoes that seemed to be added as an afterthought.

Mind you, she looked like she was fucking  _ten_.

"For fuck's sake…" I whispered to myself, looking up.

"Hey! Why'd you look away like that?" Nowi pouted. "It's rude to ignore someone!"

"You're not wearing any clothes!" I exclaimed. "Cordy, look, she isn't, right?"

Cordelia's brows furrowed. "She… does have a distinct style."

"That's  _your_ problem, not mine!" Nowi claimed, crossing her arms. "I'm over a thousand; I can do what I want!"

"Yeah, I'm sure that explanation will go well with the police," I muttered.

"Heh, little miss is like Chon'sin firecracker, yes?" Gregor said. "You not alone, correct? There are more."

"Prince Chrom is leading a charge against the Grimleal," Cordelia explained. "We should be heading back there now."

I agreed. Better to get it all over with. The last battle before shit hit the fan for real.

* * *

The battle was over before we even made it to Chrom's position. To the surprise of no one, he had little trouble bisecting the Grimleal leader. I saw the corpse, and I was certain he was smiling when Chrom cut him down. It was an unnerving sight, like he was grinning from beyond the grave and laughing at us.

After the battle, night descended. The moon's light cast an ethereal glow over the sandy terrain as we set up camp, getting rested for the massive undertaking that would come in the next few days. Our plan was ready, all the groups had been chosen. This was it.

With the addition of Gregor and Nowi, I'd say we had better chance than we had before. One was a fucking  _dragon_ , while the other was a seasoned mercenary who'd been holding his own long before Cordelia and I arrived.

It may have only been two people, but it made me feel better.

I was walking around the camp when I came across him. Robin stood in my path, staring me down with those goddamned red eyes of his. He didn't look like he wanted to cave my face in. If anything, he looked a little more relaxed. I wanted to turn around and never look back, but despite myself, I kept going.

"…So," I started. "This is it, Robin."

"Yes," He replied, standing straighter than before, like someone addressing a subordinate. "I am confident Emmeryn will be saved. In just a few days we'll be marching back to Ylisstol with her. Alive." He leaned forward. "As long as you hold up your part of the plan, everything should go right. No plan survives contact with the enemy, of course, but then again, our enemy doesn't know what we know."

"Yeah, they don't," I sighed, looking up. "Listen, Robin, I'm-"

"Save it, Alex," Robin interrupted, putting his hands behind his back as he walked around me. "All that matters to me right now is getting Emmeryn out alive. Whatever you want to say, it can wait until after."

I had nothing to say to that. His footsteps grew quieter until I was left alone, the night sky and sand my only companion.

It was very possible that we would save Emmeryn, and oddly, I didn't care about the effect this would have on the future. In the end, my justifications were, again, horrible. Things were already derailing in small ways from the moment I arrived. If I'd just said something before…

It didn't matter anymore. What mattered was that Emmeryn would live.

And all it cost me was one of my best friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda wishing I'd waited just a few months, played all of 3H, and then wrote a SI fic for Fire Emblem. Seriously, that fucking game is the best game I've played all year, and I'm only just about halfway through the GD route now. Already played the BE route, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I wonder what a SI from me for that game would look like? I have a few ideas but I doubt anything will come of it. I'm still dedicated to this fic 100%. I refuse to leave it unfinished like all the others before it.
> 
> It helps that I actually have an end to go for. All the other fandoms I wrote for before this didn't have a definitive ending, and you had to plan very far ahead for them. Not for this one!
> 
> Anyway, we've gotten to a point I've wanted to address. Mainly, foreknowledge. A good portion of what Alex knows, Robin now knows as well. Wonder how they're gonna save Emm now...
> 
> Not much else to say. Hope you enjoyed!


	13. Arrow of Fate

Our plan was simple and hadn't changed much from the game. If what Robin said while we were planning was true, he already had something like it in his head before I came along. Its familiarity was alarming instead of comforting to me. It made me feel like we were doomed to fail. The changes would, however, have to be enough.

Most of Plegia's army was still occupying Ylisstol, although the fate of its citizens was unknown. There weren't bodies lining the streets, which was a good sign. According to our scouts, at least. Because of this, a majority of Ferox's and what was left of Ylisse's armies were serving as a diversionary force; keeping the attention off us. The remaining troops from Ferox were with us and would mostly be fighting in the battle proper. The Shepherds would be splitting up into three groups.

The first group would be led by Chrom who would in turn lead the Feroxi soldiers into battle. While the majority of the pressure was on them, the second team, led by Robin, would release the Pegasus Knights that were taken captive along with Emmeryn. From the scouting reports, and my own knowledge of the game, I knew there were at least three still alive, including Phila. The third team would have the riskiest job. They would be led by Gaius and would infiltrate Castle Plegia or whatever the hell they called it. Group three's objective was two-fold: they were to kill Aversa, and to recover Sable.

My memory of Sable was murky at best. I knew it held Naga's power, like all the gemstones did. But beyond that, all I knew was that it had something to do with dark magic and was used by Gharnef in Shadow Dragon. It was a minor concern at best, considering what this would mean in the long run. Not having to come back to Plegia during the endgame would already be a wrench in the plot, but on top of that, Emmeryn living?

If it wasn't already before, then canon was fucked.

A majority of the frontline fighters such as Sully and Vaike would be with the main force, while the second group, the one I was a part of, would be made of odd balls. I knew Panne and Gregor were with us. Gregor was fine, although I'd only said a few words to the man himself, but Panne was another matter. Every time I looked at her, I felt a shiver crawl down my back. And when she glanced at me from the corner of her eye, her goddamn  _red_  eyes, I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

I was able to swallow my anxiety, though. My feelings didn't matter, now. What mattered was Emmeryn getting out of Plegia alive, and to do that, we needed the Pegasus Knights. Cordelia and Sumia would be shot down in an instant if they even got close; the evac had to come from the inside.

I breathed in and out. It was time.

The Pegasus Knights were being held a small distance from the main battlefield, in an old, sand-blasted ruin. Couldn't even tell what it used to be. What mattered, though, was that the Pegasus Knights that guarded Emmeryn would be executed as soon as she was. The enemy encampment was small, but only a small group such as ours could get past the army that surrounded Medlun. It would have to be enough.

"Manspawn, you are shivering," Panne noticed, crossing her arms and leaning against a crumbling pillar. "Do I disgust you so much that you cannot hide your revulsion even now?"

"Y-You don't disgust me, Panne," I replied, wincing as I stuttered. "It's… God, I'm just not used to you, alright?"

"It is true we have not conversed much," Panne agreed, her red eyes glinting. "But none of these other manspawn have such a reaction to my presence; you act like a deer on alert."

"Perhaps battlefield nerves? Gregor used to have bad nerves. Grew out of them with time!" Gregor surmised, smiling jovially. "Do not worry, Alexander! Real battle happening, eh, over there? No need for the shivers and the jitters!"

Gregor was an oddball, but one that was slowly growing on me. Sadly, didn't get much of a chance to speak with him before that day. Something I was hoping to remedy before the end of the war.

I noticed Donnel nearby, looking out at the soon-to-be battlefield. Walking up to him, I put a hand on his shoulder. "You okay, Donny?"

He jumped, eyes wide, but he calmed down once he saw me. "A-Alex! Just, er, just havin' a bad thought. Don't mind me none."

I furrowed my brow. "You sure? We got a few minutes until the battle starts. Uh, I think."

Donnel fidgeted, putting his hand on the pommel of his sword before taking a deep breath. "Just thinkin' 'bout the battle, yeah? Ain't gonna be a lot of people what gonna walk outta that, ya reckon? Just hard to think 'bout all that…  _death_. Even if we ain't friends with 'em, they're still people, right?"

I froze as Donnel said that, old feelings from before I'd joined the Shepherds welling up in my head. Shutting them down before they could get problematic, I shook my head. "I mean, yeah. But it won't do any good to think about shit like that, Donny," I looked back at him. "Just… I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't think about it. Stuff like that is meant for bald guys in academies. We're… I guess you could call us soldiers at this point. Ain't our job to think about it, we just do it, you know?"

Donnel blinked, switching his gaze back to the partial desert that surrounded the Plegian capitol. "Shucks, I reckon I understand. Still just a bit hard to think about."

"Yeah, for me too." I replied, staring at the capitol myself.

Medlun was built in what was supposedly the remains of Grima's first body, specifically the titanic skull that created a giant area of shade where the jaw should've been. The architecture was difficult to make out in the darkness, but some of the buildings easily reached up to the roof of the giant skull's mouth. Lights glittered like stars in the darkness that Medlun was built in.

_I'd almost say it was beautiful in a dark kinda way. Too bad it's the home of crazy cultists and rampaging monarchs._

"Everyone," Robin's voice rang out, gaining all of our attention. He walked down a set of stairs, the sun outlining his form. "The battle will begin momentarily. The minute we hear the sound of horns, we move. Is everything in order?"

I looked around, noting that we were all armed to the teeth. Except Panne. She'd turn into a giant carnivorous rabbit. Which was basically a weapon.

Murmurs of affirmation came from us, and Robin nodded. "Good. As far as we know, there's a small garrison stationed here, and the prison where the Pegasus Knights are being held is down below the main ruin. We must find a way to get inside, release them, and allow them to get Emmeryn out of here. Any questions?"

Silence.

"Alright. The minute we hear the horns, we move."

My heart beat in my chest like a drum. Unsurprising, considering this was the day. It was hard to believe I was trying to avoid this outcome just a month and a half before. Back then, I said nothing, and Emmeryn was doomed. Now, she had a real chance at life. I almost couldn't remember why I didn't say anything before. Fear? Almost definitely.

For over a minute we stood there, waiting for the battle to finally begin. The waiting always got to me. I wanted to fucking get in there and get out. Save Emmeryn as fast as possible, I guess. Being hasty wouldn't save her, though. I had to trust Robin.

Then, in the distance, a horn blew.

"There we have it. Let's go!" Robin commanded. He entered the crumbling ruin, and we followed.

Immediately, we found Plegians. An entire group of them. They were lazing around when we came in, with two playing cards on a table and several others looking out sundered windows to the desert outside. They weren't resting for long, though, and we moved into action.

Panne turned into her Rabbit of Caerbannog form, surging forth like a speeding bullet at one of the Plegians. She took him to the ground, and I tried to ignore his screams. Gregor and Donnel took on two Plegians like back-to-back badasses. Robin pulled out his tome, lightning crackling in his gloved fingers.

I charged myself, isolating a Plegian. He was ready for me, blocking my blow and trying to gain some distance. I didn't let him, though; I kept the pressure on. His block broke eventually, and I cut him across the chest, and then stabbed him through the stomach. He spat out blood and fell to the sandy floor.

The noises of battle could be heard in the unnatural silence that followed.

We took them out clean before they could alert the others. Surprisingly fast, in my opinion.

"Heh, is no challenge for Gregor." Gregor remarked, shaking his sword and spraying droplets of blood on the ground.

"This manspawn is confident," Panne's flanged voice commented. "Almost too confident."

Donnel and Gregor had easily dispatched the Plegians that engaged them, and Robin had as well. Panne, though, I couldn't tell. Probably because I refused to look in her direction. Knowing her, she noticed this. I could even feel her glowing red eyes piercing through the back of my head like a laser.

"Quickly, we must find an entrance into the lower ruins," Robin ordered, as we began moving. "The faster we get those Pegasus Knights out, the faster Emmeryn can return home."

I was almost a bit concerned for Robin. He was pushing us hard, but I wondered just how well he was doing. I could count the number of words I'd said to him in the past few weeks on one hand. It may've been inappropriate, given the circumstances, but I still considered him a friend, and I was honestly beginning to worry.

He was right, though; we needed to hurry the fuck up. Gangrel wasn't going to wait forever, especially if he figured out what we were doing.

_In the game you only lost if all your units, or Robin and Chrom, got killed. The story was completely static. Here? There is a very real chance that things can go wrong. This isn't a game, and things are not static._

The ruin was a lot bigger than expected, with rooms missing a roof as well as broken in walls leading outside everywhere. I don't think the Plegians stationed in the ruins were the cream of the crop, so to speak; they were nothing like the mercenaries Validar had hired for Emmeryn's assassination, now were they like the soldiers we battled back at Maribelle's Trial and the Battle of Breakneck Pass. The only explanation I could think of was that they were conscripts, people given a spear, sword, or axe and told to go fight in a war they may not even want.

The thought was chilling, but I ignored it so that I could keep going.

Donnel and Gregor seemed to have paired up for the duration of the mission, with both of them watching the other's back. I was… too unnerved by Panne to do the same with her. Not that I was sure she would even want to. We still cleared room after room with ease, leaving the ruin filled with blood and bodies. Well, mostly bodies, and whatever the fuck Panne left behind when she was done with somebody.

_I'm beginning to think she really traumatized me._

After what felt like hours, we found stairs leading down further into the ruin. Torches lit the way down, showing nothing but the dusty stone staircase. Looked like the beginning to a giant dungeon, where we'd find horrible monstrosities from beyond this world.

"…Yeah, I didn't sign up for dungeon crawling." I said glibly, my grip tightening.

"Crawling in dungeon is bad idea, no?" Gregor commented, crossing his arms. "Is not so bad. Been in many dungeons, always come back out!"

"…It's mighty dark down in there," Donnel remarked, narrowing his eyes and moving his head forward. "Can't see nothin' beyond them few torches."

"Nonetheless, we must keep moving," Robin said, taking a torch off the wall and descending the first few stairs. "Let's go."

"Oh God, here we go…" I murmured.

"You act more like prey with each passing minute, manspawn." Panne said.

I flinched at Panne's words, but I still followed Robin's lead and descended down the stairs. The darkness was suffocating, almost unnaturally so. I began to wonder if the Pegasus Knights could even survive for more than a few days like this.

Whatever the case, once we reached the bottom of the stairs, we kept moving forward. The torches felt less and less effective, only illuminating a small portion of the crumbling walls that were separating us from the sand and dirt just beyond. We found a few jail cells, but nothing was in them. I could tell Robin was losing his patience.

"This is ridiculous," Robin said quietly, but even then, I could still hear the venom in his voice. "The soldiers we faced topside were barely-trained conscripts, and then we find none below. This does not make any sense."

"Maybe you should go tell Gangrel that. Tell him how shit of a job he's doing guarding his prisoners." I said, the words leaving my mouth before I could stop them.

Robin was silent as we kept moving.

It wasn't long after that we found the cell that contained the Pegasus Knights. I nearly gagged when I looked inside.

There were three, yes, and they were alive. Only it seems the Plegians were doing the bare minimum to keep them alive. They were skinny, but not too skinny; they could probably still move around. They're cell was absolutely  _filthy_ , though. The smell of urine easily flowed out of it. When we arrived, one of them came up to the bars.

_Phila_.

Her silver hair was a disheveled mess and was much longer than before. She wore what amounted to rags, and her skin was almost paper white.

"Gods…" She rasped, grasping the bars. "It's you. The Tactician! You've… You've come for us!? Please, get us out of here!"

"Peace, Phila," Robin soothed as the other Pegasus Knights began to stir. "We are going to get you and your friends out of here. I need your help to save Emmeryn."

"Her Grace…?" Phila murmured, nearly slumping back. "Do you really believe that the woman who let her be captured should be the one to save her?"

I looked away, trying to stare at anything that wasn't her. The dark hallway seemed slightly brighter than before.

"Nonsense; I'm sure you did everything you could," Robin replied, gathering fire in his hands. "If it really bothers you so, this is your chance to make up for it. Are your pegasi unharmed?"

"You… I mean, they were taken from us and put in the stables towards the back of the ruin, so I gathered," Phila explained, her voice trailing of slightly seeing Robin work on the lock. "I imagine they're still there. They are bonded to us, and these Plegian dogs would be hard-pressed to break a Pegasus without hurting or killing it."

"Good…!" Robin let out a slight laugh in relief. "Oh thank the Gods… Now, we need to get moving. Can you all stand?"

"I… Yes, we can," Phila confirmed, walking out of the cell, along with the other two Pegasus Knights. "We were not given much, but it was enough. We should be able to do what you ask of us, at least."

I squinted as I stared down the hallway, noticing a red glow. "Er… What…?" I whispered to myself.

"Before we leave… why weren't there any guards done here with you?" Robin asked. "There were plenty topside, but none to be found here."

"I can't say for certain, sir," Phila replied. "I've seen red lights dancing in the darkness and my nightmares, but a Plegian always came around to give us the muck they called food."

"Intriguing…" Robin said. I could imagine him holding a hand to his chin in a classic thinking pose. "I wonder-"

"Er, guys?" I asked, looking back and pointing down the hallway. "I'm not the only one who sees that, right?"

Spots of light filled the darkness like red stars twinkling in the night sky. There were less than there were in the forest all those months before, but that didn't make me feel better. We were in an enclosed space, after all.

"…No, I see them too," Robin said quietly, getting in front of Phila and holding fire in his palm. "It seems I have my answer," He looked to me knowingly. "Aversa's doing, I suspect."

"Ohoho! Many beasties hiding in the shadows!" Gregor guffawed, twirling his sword. "Is time to show how many black-blooded monsters we take out, yes? How many you be thinking we can cut down, Donny?"

"Er, I don't right know myself, Mr. Gregor. Maybe fifty or so?"

He clapped Donnel on the back. "Ah, is too small number! Will beat easy!"

"I suppose it is in the nature of manspawn to show levity. Even when they have become the hunted," Panne surmised, her form twisting rapidly. " _It will not remain so for long._ "

The Risen hiding in the shadows did not wait long before they shot forward like a flood.

The dark hallways became chaotic with sound. Black blood flowed from the undead bodies like a river, almost sounding like a waterfall before their disgusting forms disintegrated into black smoke. I was holding my own better against them than I did before, almost surprisingly so. They were many, but somehow, they felt weaker than the ones we'd faced before.

So either I really had made progress, or these ones were just weaker because they were most likely summoned fresh, rather than fallen from the future.

I flinched, gritting my teeth as an axe buried itself in my shield. Silently, I prayed that it wouldn't break like almost every shield I'd had so far did. Luckily, it held, and I pushed, knocking the Risen off balance. I swung across, decapitating it.

Donnel and Gregor were at my side, cutting down Risen like wheat to the scythe. The hallway would've been filled with bodies if the Risen didn't conveniently dissipate once they died. Didn't understand the process of how a person turns into a Risen, and I doubted I ever would, but whatever it was must be horrific to create zombies like these.

" _Christ!_ " I shouted over the screams of the Risen, cutting into one's stomach. " _How many of these ugly bastards are there!?_ "

" _There can't be much more! Fall back to the entrance! Go!_ " Robin ordered, backing up slowly.

Panne looked monstrous as she tore through Risen like paper. Several arms and legs would go careening into a wall, splattering black blood over the stone before it all disintegrated into smoke. She, along with Donnel, Gregor, and I, fell back in line, slowly forcing our way back towards the entrance. The Pegasus Knights were behind us, and thankfully no Risen had come from that direction. We just had to keep fighting.

"Heh, Gregor does not think so!" I heard Gregor laugh. The next thing I knew he hoisted A Risen by its rotten clothes and  _fucking threw it_ back into the swarm.

_Let's not make an enemy out of Gregor holy shit._

Light bled into the dark corridor from the stairs, emboldening us as we drew closer. Before long, I could feel the sun's rays on the back of my neck. We made it.

The Risen were still coming, though. Not as forcefully as before, but still there.

Before long, however, not a trace of them remained except the broken and rusted weapons they used.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I wiped the sweat off my brow. "Oh, thank the Lord. Not sure how much longer I could've kept doing that."

"Eh, is not so bad. Been through worse." Gregor said, unflinchingly.

I didn't really know what to say to that.

Luckily all the Risen in there were mooks. I dreaded the day more powerful Risen showed up.

"They were an excellent time waster," Robin remarked. "I'll get these three to their pegasi. The four of you, however…" Robin thought for a moment. "…Join the battle. Help Chrom and Frederick stall for as much time as you can. Emmeryn's life hangs in the balance!"

Gregor nodded, giving a thumbs up.

"Sure will, Mr. Robin! Won't let ya an' Her Majestyfulness down!"

"Hmph."

I saluted. "Will do."

I didn't know how much help I'd be. Stalling for time was easy, but the Plegians, even with their main army still around Ylisstol, outnumbered us. Of course, most of them were probably conscripts, while the Shepherds were seasoned warriors and the Feroxi troops' entire lifestyle was based on combat. It could go either way, but I still thought we were going to win. With the added bonus of saving Emmeryn's life, it seemed like a net gain.

For once, I didn't feel fear going into battle. As long as my mistake was amended, I felt like I could do anything asked of me.

* * *

Fighting in an open battlefield was very different from fighting in close quarters. That may seem obvious, but the differences to me were staggering. And because I didn't mentally prepare myself completely, I nearly died upon entering the main battle.

Luckily, the ruins were nearby, so getting there wasn't the problem. Beyond the differences in fighting in close quarters versus fighting in the open were our opponents. Gangrel must've saved some of his best troops for the real battle, delegating guard duty to those who didn't want to be in the war in the first place. Strangely generous of him, but it worked out in our favor so I didn't really care.

But yeah, I nearly died.

I was unprepared, charging into battle like I was. I lost sight of Donnel, Gregor, and Panne almost instantly as I entered the maelstrom. My senses were overtaken by the chaos, and I hesitated. This gave one of the many Plegians fighting an opportunity to kill me.

I shouted as I felt the sword slice my side. My armor kept it from getting too far, but it still went deep. If I hadn't had any armor, I would've died then and there.

Maybe it was this knowledge that set me off. Adrenaline pounding through my veins I counterattacked, swinging my sword wildly and confusing the Plegian, before I buried my blade in his chest and roughly tore it out. The ground became stained with red.

Heart pounding in my chest, and the constant roar of battle and bloodshed around me, I joined the fray.

What followed was difficult for me to follow. I fought, cutting down Plegian soldier after Plegian soldier. My sword was red, and the blood of those I'd killed drenched my clothes. It got to the point that I couldn't tell if it was really the blood of the Plegians or my own. Perhaps a combination of both? It was impossible to say. Eventually, I stumbled upon a Plegian I had no business fighting, considering their cloak and tome. Magic and I did not mix, and I was quickly reminded of that when a fireball nearly burned my head clean off.

I fell to the ground, primal instincts taking over. It was becoming too much for me, and the fireball was the last straw.

_What an inglorious death._

Like so many times before, the final blow never came. Instead of fire turning me into a human barbecue, I felt liquid splash against me. I opened my eyes.

The mage's head was cleaved from top to bottom, courtesy of an axe. The side with his face fell forward with a wet 'thunk', followed by the rest of the body.

"Gods damn!" Vaike said, approaching me. "Ya look like yer about to fall down dead!" He then offered me a hand.

For a minute, I couldn't even understand the gesture. I shook my head, coming to my senses before taking his hand. He pulled me to my feet easily.

"I feel like it too…" I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head before remembering we were on a battlefield. "Er, we should probably-  _Oh, shit!_ "

I didn't have time to tell him about the soldier coming up on his flank, so I pushed him out of the way and blocked the blow with my near-broken shield. The wood cracked, but it got the job done. I swung my blade upward, cutting through his rib cage and slicing his neck open. Once he was on the ground, I put him out of his misery.

"E-Eh, the Vaike knew he was there!" Vaike explained poorly, getting back to his feet. "Just wanted to let ya get a bit of glory yourself!"

"Yeah, yeah, you're still not wearing armor," I patted my chest. "Saved me a few times."

"Heh, Teach doesn't need armor!" He flexed. "These do all the protectin' I need!"

"Uh huh. We're still in the middle of battle," I pointed out, looking around at the fighting. "We got a game plan or…?"

"Er, yeah!" Vaike said, picking up his axe and preparing to charge. I planned on following. "We gotta get to the courtyard! Captain's orders!"

"Chrom… Got it," I answered, nodding. My sword arm felt tired and heavy. "I'll go with you!"

"Ha! Good to have you, then!" Vaike laughed.

We charged.

Again, carnage predictably ensued. Only this time, I had direction. The courtyard was nearby, but considering the amount of Plegians on the field, it would be difficult to get to. They had to run out of troops at some point, I thought to myself. I shuddered at the thought of fighting the bulk of the Plegian army, if those we were fighting were a small part of it.

Made you wonder just how the fuck we were going to win the war.

Having an objective instead of blindly swinging my sword and hoping I killed every enemy around me did wonders for my constitution. This only grew more effective the further we pressed. Other Shepherds arrived, fighting alongside and with me. It was emboldening. For the first time since I'd come to the world of Awakening, I felt like what I was doing was right.

The long belated feelings of relief swept over me as we pushed ever further. It felt like everything really was going to be alright. Robin was helping the Pegasus Knights, who would swoop in and save Emmeryn. And if Gaius did his part, no Risen to foil that plan. That was the one big problem in Robin's plan in canon, and with my foreknowledge he solved it.

_And it only took you ruining your friendship to do it._

I didn't care. As long as Emmeryn got out alive and didn't die because of my mistake, I didn't care. Not even my venomous inner voice could take me down.

We breached the castle courtyard, Plegians still trying to keep us from going forward. I couldn't see Chrom, but it was doubtless that he was leading the charge. The remaining Plegians scattered, while several pockets still fought with the combined might of the Feroxi troops and Shepherds. For once, I wasn't put off by the sounds around me. It felt like I could do anything.

In a brief reprieve, I looked up, squinting as the sunlight blocked my view. I could make out Emmeryn's silhouette, outlined against the shining sun. She stood upon a stone, or bone, precipice that seemed to defy gravity. I was surprised the tip of it didn't break off just from her standing on it.

I laughed a little, an inappropriate joke going through my head before I rejoined the fight.

The battle was coming to a close, that much was clear. The Plegians were falling back, into the corners of the courtyard, completely trapped. While the fighting continued, in the distance, I swore I heard the sound of beating wings. I looked up once more.

The Pegasus Knights were coming. I couldn't get a good look at them because of the distance, but I knew it was them. Two flanking one in the middle. It was the most glorious sight I'd ever seen. They flew through the air gracefully, closing in on Emmeryn's position.

Whatever fatigue I had left instantly faded at the sight. I shouted, either in joy or in relief, I couldn't tell. I charged, cutting down another Plegian who cowered as he saw me coming, curling up into a ball much like I had.

There was no sign of any Risen archers or Aversa anywhere. I took this to mean that Gaius had succeeded. For once, things were looking bright.

It didn't stay that way for very long. Not long at all.

Everything was, as I said, going well. The Plegians were about to be completely decimated, and Emmeryn was going to be returned unharmed. It was the perfect win, with minimal casualties on our side to boot. There was just one thing I'd forgotten. One thing I didn't realize I had to account for, hell,  _nobody_  had accounted for.

And it was the same thing that had a hand in having me tell Robin everything that was going to happen that day.

My elation evaporated in an instant, and I got the feeling that something  _very_ bad was about to happen. This was even before the same scream that haunted my dreams echoed through the battlefield. Many paid it no notice, but I knew it for what it was. It was the scream of that  _thing._

_The Deadlord._

It felt like the remaining battle around me slowed down. I could see everything happen with perfect clarity.

The Deadlord was like a black splotch against the brilliant blue sky. For a moment, it didn't move. Then, it pulled its right hand back like it was about to loose an arrow from a bow.

_No. Nononononononono!_

I ran towards its position, pushing people out of the way indiscriminately. I didn't even bother checking if it was enemy soldiers I was pushing through or my friends. I tried. I tried my damned hardest to get to the Deadlord.

I wasn't fast enough.

With another scream that would, like so many other things, haunt my nightmares, I saw the arrow sail through the air. Despite my better judgment, I followed its path.

Emmeryn was nearly safe, I could see. She was reaching her hand out to one of the Pegasus Knights, outlined by the sun itself as it descended below the horizon.

I swore I heard the arrows whistle, even among the cacophony that surrounded me. I saw it tear through the sky towards Emmeryn.

The arrow stopped in Emmeryn's chest. Her body fell from the precipice to the courtyard floor.

My heart stopped. For a moment, I couldn't even think. I didn't take a breath. It felt like ice water had been injected into my veins.

I felt a slash to my already injured side, and I spun around. I was too dazed to counterattack, though. And I paid for that.

A Plegian's sword pierced straight through my stomach, and out through my back. For a moment, I felt nothing.

And then I saw nothing, except for the distant sound of my own blood flowing to the ground.

It sounded like a waterfall.

* * *

_**You keep trying to be something you're not.** _

* * *

_I saw it. Faintly, in the distance. A glowing light. I followed it. There was nowhere else to go._

* * *

_**If you were to go home right now, do you think your friends and family would even recognize you?** _

* * *

_It was difficult. So, so difficult. I thought I would die if I kept going. It felt like I did._

* * *

_**You still don't understand that your actions and inaction has consequences. But then again, this is a game, so why should you care?** _

* * *

_I flew between unconscious and conscious, never staying in one place for too long. Is this what death felt like? I didn't like it. It was too dark._

* * *

_**You could have done so much if you hadn't waited. You could have turned the tide. Even the you from the future did. Why didn't you?** _

* * *

_Sometimes I could hear voices, calling out to me. Sometimes I'd even see a blurry face, looking down on me. The distant sensation of skin attempting to stitch itself back together made itself known around my stomach. A familiar feeling, if physically unpleasant. I went back under-_

* * *

_**Did you really believe that here, of all places, you could achieve that which you always wanted? You wanted to be a storybook character. Someone they told tales about. You wanted to make your mark on history.** _

_**But in the end, you know the truth.** _

_**You're no hero.** _

* * *

It was like a fever dream. Everything felt hot, and I could feel sweat drenching the blankets I was covered in. It was  _too_ hot; I needed out. I needed to get away from everything.

"Lie still," A gentle voice said, as I felt a hand push me down. "I've just finished healing your wound. To have it reopen would be catastrophic."

My mouth felt dry as I opened my mouth to speak. "Where," I began, my voice sounding garbled. "Where am I?"

My eyes focused on a face in front of me. Looked like a blonde-haired woman, but the instant I saw him, I knew better.

_Libra._

"You are in the medical tent," He answered, picking up his staff as he stood up over me. "It has been several days since you gained that injury. And since… the tragedy that befell you and yours at the Plegian capitol."

… _no. No. Nonono…_

"Do not move," Libra ordered. "It will be several days before you are able to move unhindered. As I said, reopening your wound would be terrible for you."

It took several moments for my brain to catch up with my body, and I settled back down in the sheets. It wasn't a bed I was laying on. A cot, maybe? I couldn't tell and I didn't care.

I'd failed. I couldn't stop it, and everything ended up happening in the worst way possible.

"Is he alright, Libra?" A familiar voice asked, coming from behind the blond-haired priest in question.

Libra nodded. "If he wasn't found for much longer, he would have died. As with all the others, they should not exert themselves until they have fully recovered."

Robin came up behind him. His eyes were shadowed as he came closer. "Good. I'd like to speak with Alex for a moment, if you don't mind."

Libra raised a brow but said nothing. "If you will it. Remember what I told you." He acquiesced.

I didn't see him leave, but I heard the flap of the tent move as he went out of my sight. Once he was gone, Robin sighed, and sat on the floor next to me. He rubbed his temples.

"…Robin,  _please_ ," I begged, my voice sounding watery. "Did it… We didn't…?"

Robin looked at me blankly for a moment, before sighing. "It was a  _disaster_ , Alex. Almost everyone saw Emmeryn fall from that precipice. I, along with everyone else, had to drag Chrom away," He looked down, his gaze hollow. "That Deadlord. I've heard from several others that it was standing at the edge of the battle. Did you…?"

I gulped, feeling like there was a boulder in my throat. "T-There… I  _saw_  him," I rasped, coughing after a moment. "He… He had a bow in his hands. I saw him pull it back, and the next thing I knew Emmeryn was falling from the cliff with an arrow sticking out of her," I closed my eyes, my breathing becoming labored. "Robin… She didn't make it, did she?"

Robin rubbed his eyes. For a moment, I swore I saw sympathy in them. "As far as I can tell, Alex, Exalt Emmeryn is dead."

I felt sick.

"...That is not all, however," Robin said. I'd nearly just threw the sheets over myself so I wouldn't have to look him in the eye, but once he said that, what remained of my attention was focused solely on him. "Gaius' mission was not entirely a failure. He did not assassinate Aversa; he told me she was not even there. He did manage to grab this, though."

I couldn't remember what it looked like back in the game, but it was impossible to mistake the dark orb Sable in Robin's gloved palm for anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear God, this chapter took me a long while to write, almost as long as the next one. Hopefully I'll be able to finish Chapter 14 before next Saturday. That said, Chapter 15 probably won't be seen until September, unfortunately. On the plus side, it'll probably be one of the longer chapters I'll write.
> 
> So yeah, Emmeryn's dead again, despite our wayward protagonists 'best' efforts. The method was different, though. I wonder how that'll play out?
> 
> See ya next time!


	14. Before the Storm

The weeks following Emmeryn's death were all just a blur. I drifted from consciousness to unconsciousness at seemingly random intervals. When I was awake, I could feel this permeating warmth that felt awful. I don't know what the sword hit, but it clearly had a lasting effect. When I was unconscious, though, was when I was at my worst. Mentally, at least. I never awoke rested, and my dreams were plagued by, well, I couldn't remember, but I did wake up several times feeling like I'd just jogged across the entire continent.

There were others with me, who were wounded just like I was. Even my fellow Shepherds. I couldn't get a good look, but I swore I heard Vaike moaning in the night. We didn't stay in any one place for very long, and when we moved on, we were hauled into wagons as gingerly as possible. It didn't make my life any easier, but the sentiment was appreciated.

I redefined my definition of 'hellish' during that journey.

There was a small skirmish during our retreat. I could hear the noises of battle, so close yet so far away. It brought me back to a time where I'd hide underneath the covers trying to block out thunder. Even then, I couldn't completely drown out the sounds. It felt like they were outside, and they would slash in at any moment. I could visualize it. The Plegians would cut the fabric open and finish the job they started. At some point, I thought I had a dream like that.

I couldn't even tell if I was afraid of that happening before the end.

The still lucid part of me idly wondered if what was happening was Chapter 10. I couldn't remember the name of the Boss that chapter. Was it Mastufa? Mastofu? Mufasa? The name refused to be pinned down. He was the most sympathetic of the bosses, I remembered. Told his men to retreat if they were unwilling to fight. I pondered just how the chapter was going down. Emmeryn may have died, but the method of her death was very different; it was a deliberate action of someone else instead of suicide. And she was never able to give her dying words. I didn't know how anyone would be able to hear it, considering she was high up, but that didn't really matter anymore

In the end, she died unceremoniously, despite our best efforts.

Actually, no, just Robin's. I did fuck all. In fact, I may have made things worse. If Emmeryn didn't give her dying speech, then that meant the Plegians could still be rallied by Gangrel. After all, it was mainly her speech that shook their faith in Gangrel and caused a vast majority of his army to desert.

The battle ended in our victory, if our unimpeded progress afterward was any indication. I felt like I could have done something about… Mostafu? Mustafa? Felt like I could've done something to save him, but of course that would've been impossible.

Knowing me, I'd just fuck it up somehow.

It wasn't until we got past the Longfort and back behind Regna Ferox's borders that I was able to walk and talk semi-decently. The other Shepherds who had been wounded alongside me began to show signs of recovery as well. Vaike made this extremely clear when he nearly gave me a heart attack while I was lost in thought.

"Hey, Alex, how are ya?" He asked. I didn't respond. His hand fell on my shoulder. "Alex-!"

"Jesus H-!" I blurted out, looking at him wide-eyed. "The hell did you come from!?"

"Er, from my cot. Just over there," He replied, pointing a thumb behind him. "Came in just to check on ya. Was me who pulled you outta that hellhole, couldn't just let ya die on me after that, could I? Heh, yer a lot heavier than I thought!"

"…Are you saying I'm fat, Vaike?" I asked seriously.

"If I wanted to call ya fat, I'd just say it," Vaike countered, sitting down next to me. "What I'm sayin' is ya went down pretty hard back there. Wanted to know if ya were holdin' up alright."

I paused for a moment. "That's… surprisingly thoughtful of you, Vaike."

"Hey!" Vaike exclaimed, sounding genuinely offended. "Ya sayin' Teach can't check on how his friends are doin'!? Know we're both men and all but-!"

"Okay, okay, fucking hell, not another word," I stopped him, holding a hand up. I looked down, holding my other hand to my stomach. "I guess I'm just… I dunno. I feel… wrong. I can't explain it. The healers were all out on the front and shit like that so I can understand them not coming in here. We were all stable, after all, but I just… I've never been wounded so badly that I was bedridden."

There was that nasty blow I took to the side back in Southtown, but I had that one healed up quickly. That and the broken arm I got fighting the Risen. The sword to the stomach, though, that one was pretty nasty, so I was told.

Vaike leaned back, eerily silent for a second before he moved back forward. He held his arm up to me. "See this old thing right here?" He asked, pointing to the light scar that went across his forearm. "Got this one back when I was first startin' out. Heh, me an' Chrom were always getting' into trouble back then. And Sully, damn, she made things worse. Ha!" He stretched, revealing another scar that went across his stomach. "This one kinda ruined my abs, so I'm a bit upset 'bout it. Hurt like a dastard, too. Wasn't able to fight for weeks after that one."

I looked at them, perplexed. My eyes flitted from his still bandaged midsection and back to the scars that adorned his body, visible to me for the first time. "Damn dude… I mean, that sucks. I'm just… wondering why you're showing me this."

"Thought it was obvious," Vaike remarked, relaxing. "Been injured badly plenty o' times. This time, too, just like you. Always gotta bounce back, yeah? Can't let a couple o' lil' wounds like these hold us down, right? You'll feel better soon, sure of it! Just gotta get outta this funk. Sure we'll have plenty of time to do that!"

I was about to say something, but before I could I realization hit me. "Vaike… did you get that getting my ass outta the fire?"

"Huh?" Vaike seemed perplexed as he crossed his arms. I noticed the small flinch as he did it a little too harshly, jostling his bandages a little. "I mean, yeah, I did. Nothin' I haven't been through before, though. All the Shepherds've been through some tight spots, and we don't always come out of it alright. This ain't anythin' different."

Despite his words, I couldn't help but feel guilty. It was my fault that he got injured after all. Add on to the fact that it was because I was running towards the Deadlord, something I should've known would rear its ugly armored face again, and you had a perfect recipe for a wave of self-loathing.

I looked down at my covered legs, forcing myself not to look Vaike in the eye. "Hey… Vaike, I'm tired. I think I'll go to sleep for a while."

"Ya sure? Heard a couple people were askin' to see ya earlier. And… Seriously, you good? Ain't never seen you so… down, before." Vaike noticed.

That didn't really help. It actually made me feel more guilty and upset. I recognized what Vaike was doing. And the sentiment was appreciated, but it may not have had the effect he wanted it to.

Still, couldn't blame him for that. He was just trying to help.

"Y-Yeah," I stuttered unexpectedly. "I'm just, really not in the mood right now."

Vaike looked at me for several seconds, probably wondering how he should respond, before he eventually shrugged. "Alright. I'll leave ya to it, then. Like I said, though, you'll be back on your feet and fighting in no time!"

"I'm… sure I will," I replied unenthusiastically.

He got up and walked away. True to my word, I did turn onto my side and try to sleep, despite it being early in the evening. I wasn't very successful, and when I did eventually get to sleep hours later, it wasn't as restful as I'd would've liked.

I had too much on my mind. The Deadlord, Emmeryn's death, my injuries, everything.

None of it went away.

* * *

We traveled farther into Ferox not long after Vaike tried to cheer me up; nothing more than a week at the most. I was up on my feet again, and the sickness I had was gone, leaving my head clear for the first time in weeks.

The air outside was chilly. A welcome change from the fucking oven that was the Plegian badlands. Not all of Plegia was desert, obviously, but a good portion of it was. It was growing colder in Ferox with each passing day. In just a month, Winter would arrive. My first Winter in this world.

If I was back home, I imagined my dad would be bothering us to start putting up Christmas decorations. The old plastic tree we'd had since I was a toddler would be put up in the family room, while we'd go to a tree market to get a genuine one. We would have spent around an hour decorating it; putting up all our old baubles and other knickknacks we'd gathered over the years. I remembered one of them was the Polar Express, and another was an old Simpsons decoration that used to play some lines from the show. At least before the battery died.

Remembering all of that put me into a sourer mood than usual. Going around camp and marching in formation was difficult for a while.

We regrouped at an old fort, supposedly from the days of the First Exalt. The stonework was practically crumbling, but we set up shop within well enough. We didn't need it for defense anyway. Tents were pitched in the courtyard for all the people who couldn't fit into the meager amount of rooms available. Place would've looked like a circus if all the fabric was multicolored.

Yet another thing I was beginning to miss even more terribly than before.

Maybe it was Emmeryn's death weighing my mind down, but thoughts of home came easier than before. And unlike before, I didn't shut them down so harshly.

…Is there even an Outrealm Gate?

I shelved that question for later.

Regrouping at an old fort also brought back memories of my first night. At least there were no Risen knocking down our door.

I spent my days within that fort training, mostly. With someone or without, I threw myself into it harder than before, if that was even possible. Talking with people increased the chances of running into Chrom or Lissa, after all, and how the hell was I supposed to look them in the eye when it was my own failures that allowed their sister to die?

Of course, Chrom was a training maniac as well, but if I shut myself off from everything completely, people would start asking questions. And the last thing I needed was more questions. I already questioned myself enough.

After Robin told me what happened with Emmeryn, I didn't see him for weeks. Not a surprise in and of itself; if I could avoid me, I would. This made it all the more surprising when he approached me one evening.

I was on guard duty. Well, they called it guard duty, but I didn't think we'd have to guard against much. Think it was more of an excuse to get us to do something while our leaders planned. With Robin among them, I was sure it wouldn't be much longer.

I just stood up, arms crossed, looking at the setting sun. I heard him before I saw him.

He came right up beside me and followed my gaze to the horizon.

He spoke first. "Alex," He said simply.

"Robin," I replied.

Awkward silence followed afterward, neither of us coming up with something to say. A cold breeze ruffled my clothes and hair, and I shivered slightly. I didn't mind it so much.

"…I have seen you, Alex," He said finally, turning to look at me. "You have been running yourself ragged since you've become able. It is not healthy. At this rate, your body will give out before the end of the war."

I took a deep breath and turned my head to him in kind. Robin looked a little different from the last time I saw him. The beginnings of bags underneath his eyes, and a slumped posture were the most telling of how he handled Emmeryn's death.

Oh look, another thing that is your fault. Let's add that to the pile, boy scout.

"And what of it, Robin?" I asked. "I'm actually surprised you care, considering what happened to Emmeryn. If I was you, I'd want to wring my throat."

Robin visibly flinched when I mentioned Emmeryn's name, and I could see his brow twitch. "Neither of us took the Deadlord into account. That was our failure. It… would not be right to solely blame you for the plan going awry," He brought his gloved hands up to his face, massaging his temples. "I should have taken that into account and adjusted accordingly, especially after you gave me all of that information. I was just… so focused on getting her home, that the Deadlord slipped my mind entirely. I should have-"

I turned completely. "Robin, let's be real here, I'm the one who should've said something about the Deadlord. I'm the one who should've reminded you, who should've done something! Instead, I just sat on my ass letting all these chances pass me by, waiting for the last moment to even consider doing something, and what happens? I fuck up. I fucked up, and now Emmeryn is dead. Never blame yourself for my mistakes, you hear me?"

My voice was steadily rising as I went off. Robin was silent, letting me finish.

"…We could stand here all-day casting blame on ourselves," Robin said quietly. "That will not accomplish anything. The only thing either of us can do, is move forward. Chrom will need everyone's support in the coming battles. We will not lose this war, and when that future you told me of comes to pass, we will meet it with all of our might. This is the only thing we can do now."

"…Huh, keep moving forward, then?" I echoed, looking down at my feet. "Oh, yeah, I can't wait to murder more of my fellow man and abominations from the sky. That's so much fun, right? Just keep moving forward through it. Yeah, sure, keep moving forward through the blood, sweat, and tears and what will you find on the other side? A mountain of corpses," I realized what I was saying, and just sighed, rubbing the back of my neck and looking back to the frozen landscape. "I'm… sorry, it's just been a rough few days for me."

"And it has been for me as well, and yet you don't seem me ranting," Robin shot back. I flinched. Deserved that, I guess. "I understand… Emm's death has affected us all, not just you and me. All I am saying is to take better care of yourself. Yes, I realize I am in no position to lecture you on this, but my words should be heeded all the same. Despite our coldness as of late, I still care about you."

"Fuck, man," I cursed, breathing in and out to see the cold mist reflect the dwindling sunlight. "I seriously wonder why. I certainly don't give a fuck about myself anymore. After all, what kind of an asshole lets a woman die because of his own fear? Someone who doesn't deserve to be a hero, let me tell you," I shook my head. "Fucking hell, what was I thinking?"

"I can offer no advice as to your aspirations," Robin said, putting his hands behind his back and straightening up. "I do care, though. Despite your mistakes, I still consider you a friend. I've had precious few of those in the short time I can remember. You never complained about my ramblings, and you even sought me out on multiple occasions. The only person to ever do that other than you, is Chrom. So, understand, when I hear you speak as you just did, it makes me worry."

"You really shouldn't," I replied, a humorless chuckle escaping my mouth. "I've always been this way, Robin. Before I was here, my life was heading nowhere. I was basically only going to college because everyone told me that's where you go. All it got me was a potentially useless degree and a whole shitload of debt. All the ingredients you need for a failure. That changed when I came here. Thought it did, at least. Instead, I found out I'm still the pathetic failure I was when I came here a couple months ago. The simplest of changes for the better, and I couldn't bring myself to do it in time. I am horrible, Robin. You really shouldn't worry about me."

"No matter what you think of yourself, or what you tell me not to do, I will worry. You are my friend, Alex." Robin said resolutely. "It's getting late. I shall leave you to your duty. Remember what I said."

I didn't have the heart to look Robin in the eye. Even after I heard him begin to walk away from me.

Keep moving forward, huh.

I perked up. "Robin." I called.

He stopped and turned around.

"In two years," I began, holding up two fingers. "There will be an invasion. What do you know about Valm?"

* * *

I wasn't sure how long we spent gathering our forces and making plans in that old fortress. My guess would be around a couple weeks at the most. As far as I knew, Chrom had cooled off from his sister being murdered, and was actively participating in the planning. I'd also heard that a woman had been seen going to and from his quarters. Seemed baby Lucina wouldn't be far off now, if my suspicions were correct.

Not that it really mattered. Not then. At that moment, there were other things that needed to be taken care of.

I had to admit, I was scared. More scared than I'd been before. The coming battle was, well, to put it bluntly, up in the air. Emmeryn's death this time was a lot less poetic and shit; the people that followed Gangrel wouldn't have been 'moved' by her words like in canon. Which meant we could've been dealing with a much larger army.

Overall, things were looking pretty damn dire. So, I did the only thing I really could to make sure I didn't curl up into a ball on the floor and cry.

"Ah, Donny, there you are." I said, bumping into the purple-haired country boy in the courtyard of the fortress.

"G-Golly, Alex! Ya done gave me goosebumps!" Donnel exclaimed, rubbing his shoulders. "Ain't sure if it was that or the gosh darn cold. Ain't never got this cold back at the farm!"

Despite my overall mood, I couldn't help but chuckle. "Heh, yeah. Didn't get this cold back where I came from either," I coughed. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you. About what's coming up and shit like that."

"Er, not sure what there's to talk 'bout, but sure." Donnel replied with a hint of hesitation. "Think we gotta good chance to win, yeah?"

"Well… yeah," I said half-heartedly, gesturing to a door. "Let's get inside; I think my fingers are about to snap off."

He nodded, and we retreated into the depths of the fort. The cold wind shrieked outside as I closed it.

"Yeah… Donny, I'm really worried." I started, sitting down in a nearby chair. "I know you probably don't wanna hear this crap, hell, I wouldn't. But… I just gotta get this off my chest, you know?"

"It's gonna be fine, though, right?" Donnel replied, shuffling his feet uncomfortably. "We got you and His Majestyfulness and Robin and all the others! I can't right see a way for us to lose if we play all our cards right. 'Sides, we can't lose! Promised ma I'd come back home and so I will!"

I stared at him blankly for a few seconds, honestly stunned by his words and the conviction he spoke them with. "I… really wish I had your optimism," I finally murmured. "I dunno. Maybe it's pre-battle jitters, but I've just got this horrible feeling. Feels like something very, very bad is gonna happen. Like with… Like with Emmeryn."

"…Aw, I ain't no good with this," Donnel admitted sheepishly, adjusting the tin pot on his head. "Was never good at making folks feel all better. Pa was always like that, though. He could talk a cow into a ditch if ya gave him half a chance!" He laughed a little. "But… Alex, maybe it won't be all roses and fields after this whole nasty business is over and done with. Still, we gotta make it through, don't we? Can't just up and give up 'fore we even give it our all!"

I looked down at my lap. "So… You're basically saying, 'keep moving forward'?"

"Ain't exactly sayin' that," Donnel shook his head. "Sayin' we need to go and tackle that no good King Gangrel! We gotta, for all the people back home! If we just up and left, he'd just do what he wants! As long as ya have somethin' to fight for, ya better!"

"'Something to fight for', huh?" I echoed.

Some part of me believed Donnel, but that part of me also came to a disturbing conclusion.

I, essentially, had nothing to fight for. Nothing except my own half-baked ideals. Fear overrode those easily. What Donnel said made sense. I just lacked it.

I continued to look down at my lap for a while. Could hear Donnel shuffling around awkwardly nearby.

"…You know, Donny, you aren't bad at motivating people," I remarked. "I mean, I still feel like something bad could happen, but I feel a bit… at ease? If that makes sense?"

"Aw, shucks, I'm just glad I could help at all!" Donnel laughed. "Mighty kind o' ya to say such though, Alex!"

Despite my bad mood from the past few weeks, I found myself smiling. "Yeah, yeah. You know, Donny, you're like the little brother I never had. Had a sister before but, well, kinda far away…"

"Don't I know 'bout being far away!" Donnel agrees, looking to the door. "I… Thank ya, Alex. Really kind 'o ya to say! Gotta go and talk to a few folks, though."

"Yeah, don't worry. I won't keep you," I said, waving. "See ya later!"

He left a few seconds later, leaving me in the small room in the fort. I leaned forward, lacing my fingers to hold my head up.

The conversation was nice. For once, it didn't get heavy as all hell.

Despite that, though, I still couldn't get the pit out of my stomach. True, I felt better, but something just didn't feel right. Something bad was going to happen, I knew it. His words did help, though. They really did.

There was nothing much I could do beyond that. All I could really do, was wait. The battle to come could go either way, and canon was effectively out of the window. Whatever happened, I just hoped the casualties on our side were to a minimum, just like they'd been so far.

I wasn't sure how I'd handle having more deaths on my conscious.

* * *

My mood drastically changed in the short amount of time it took for the news of Gangrel's army marching to reach the crumbling fort. It went from dread and feeling like something horrible was going to happen to this sort-of tense anticipation that made me look behind my back like I was expecting a Plegian to emerge out of the old stonework and try to strike me down. No matter what, I could not calm down.

This was a common problem for me during our time at that old fort. Sleep was not restful in the slightest. All my thoughts were dedicated to the coming battle. The final battle.

And it was to be a final battle, just like the game. From what I understood, Gangrel's tactics were not reasonably sound. He was marching straight towards the Longfort, clearly attempting to get us to come to him. Banking on Chrom supposed bloodlust, probably. Last I'd heard, he was camped in an area called the 'Old Altean Wasteland'. The ruins of a two-thousand-year-old kingdom, once ruled by Chrom and Lissa's ancestors, were no doubt used to shield the invading Plegians from the harsh winds of that area.

It was an insult. Plain and simple. A way to further goad our forces into striking first.

It was blatantly obvious. Robin, Chrom, and everyone knew this. And yet, we were going to intercept him anyway.

While Gangrel's tactics were focused on psychological warfare, they did not account for numbers, or the fact that Chrom was not foaming at the mouth, ordering us to cut off and bring Gangrel's head to him. In fact, Chrom was eerily calm. As far as I could tell, anyway. I still avoided him the best I could without making myself conspicuous.

In the end, Gangrel had failed at making Chrom stark-raving mad. Instead, he probably hardened his resolve. And with Robin's tactics on our side, despite the number disparity, I was left wondering why I felt so nervous and horrible. The guilt for allowing Emmeryn to die was still there, and I doubted it would ever go away, but beyond that, I was starting to feel a little better.

I knew I couldn't avoid Chrom and Lissa forever, though. Especially if I wanted to stay with the Shepherds after the war. Still hadn't gotten my paycheck, after all.

All of this failed to take into account the numbers. Our army, while not vast, was still considerable. In his attempt to antagonize Chrom, Gangrel apparently decided to forgo summoning his main army, which was still occupying Ylisstol and battling the main Feroxi forces. This meant the numbers were more even all around. They still had more than us, though.

All in all, we had a bigger chance than I'd thought.

It still wasn't optimal. Things could still go either way, depending on the tactics used by either side. It was just a matter of waiting.

Unfortunately, or fortunately for some people in the army, all of this meant we were leaving the old fort. I'd miss the cool, crisp air, but not much else. That being said, this meant that we had a very long and tedious task ahead of us.

Christ, how much stuff did we pack!?

"Hey, Cordy," I called to my red-headed companion. She was helping me, and with it we were almost done. "I've got a question."

"Sure. What's on your mind?" Cordelia asked, still wearing her Pegasus knight armor. She picked up a crate and walked alongside me.

"We have an entire army out there, full of people who aren't us, who could do the exact same thing we're doing right now in about half the time. Why aren't they at least helping us?"

I may have been a bit cranky, what with my lack of sleep. It wasn't difficult carrying all of our supplies out, well, some of them. Most of the Shepherds got their portion done already. We, on the other hand, were getting the absolute last of it.

Cordelia let out a breath. "Because these are our supplies, Alex. You can try and convince the Feroxi to carry our supplies for us. I'm not convinced they wouldn't fight you for it."

I opened my mouth to form a reply but couldn't think of one. So, I just looked like a moron.

I grumbled out an incoherent response instead.

"I don't understand why you're so averse to this," Cordelia said as we approached the wagons, the cold air making a shiver run up my spine. "This is excellent endurance practice! The more we do this, the easier the marches will be."

"Again, with the training and practice…" I mumbled, shoving the last crate onto the wagon. "I guess you're right. Besides, the Feroxi would probably fight me and then hang my body from the walls of Bellator." Cordelia flinched, and I hastily backpedaled. "Yeah, kinda fucked up that I said that. My bad."

She nodded. "Yes, that is an unpleasant image," After a few seconds of silence, she continued. "Speaking about training, you have been doing so non-stop since you were able to walk. Almost more than me when…" She trailed off.

I didn't say anything for a couple moments. Leaning against the wagon, I took a deep breath. "Well, it's a lot of things. Where we're going, for starters. I don't feel like I'm about to vomit at almost every moment anymore out of nervousness, but it's still a bit… stifling, I guess? Just trying to keep myself busy and shit."

"I feel as if we've had this conversation before," Cordelia remarked, sitting on the floor of the wagon. "I'm here to talk if you need to, Alex. Gods know you've done the same for me the past few months."

"It's really nothing to worry about," I attempted to assuage, waving my hand lazily. "Been that way before we even met. Just nerves and shit, I guess. Like I said, need to do something or I'll end up jittering up and down the walls. "

"…Are you sure?" Cordelia asked, leaning forward with one brow raised. "You mentioned before that being far from your family has been stressful for you. Add that, along with the injury you sustained, is beginning to worry me. Are you sure nothing is wrong? Anything you want to tell me?"

And I almost did. Right then and there I felt a crack in the dam. Just a little more push and I'd collapse into a sobbing mess. I couldn't have that happen. I refused to allow it. With all my might I stopped my mask from breaking. I gave a halfhearted chuckle.

"Seriously, I'm fine," I said, trying my damndest to ensure my voice didn't crack. "Like I said, pre-battle jitters. Once the battle is over, I'll be back to my usual self. …Well, this is pretty much my usual self. Never mind, then." Continuing nervously, I pushed a crate farther into the wagon. Cordelia slid off and frowned at me.

"…If that is truly the case…" She began, turning around. "Know that my door is always open if you wish to talk. It's the least I can do to repay you. See you in the morning."

And with that, she walked off. Didn't know where, since we were done. Probably to sleep.

I had to physically restrain myself from going after her.

* * *

The night before we left, just about an hour after the wagons were loaded for the march to the Old Altean Wastelands, I got invited to something that I would have, in any other circumstance, refused. The game night group was going to have a small get-together just before lights out. All I knew was where it would happen, and that alcohol would be involved.

I was averse to alcohol on an almost instinctual level. Whenever it was mentioned, I would become uncomfortable, and if I smelled it on someone's breath, I'd be sent into full-blown panic mode. The details as to why I felt so strongly about it were not important. What was important was my reactions.

Nonetheless, after a couple minutes of hesitation, I decided to go.

The little meet-up was held in a nondescript room. When I opened the door, I was greeted by a familiar sight.

"Ah, there he is!" Gaius exclaimed, getting up from his half-broken chair and leading me in. "You're always late, you know that, Sailor? And here I was thinking I'd actually started it at an alright time."

"Yeah," I sniffed. "Couldn't start without me, could you?"

"Ha! I tried to get 'em to start," Sully explained, kicking her feet up on the old table. "Couldn't, though. Just kept goin' on and on about how it didn't feel right to just leave ya out of it."

"Ya see, what she means to say, Alex, is that she was the one who said we should wait. Haha!" Vaike got a punch to the shoulder for that. He tried to play it off, but I could see him flinch as he rubbed it. "Damn, Sully, that almost hurt me. Keep trainin' and someday ya might gimme a bruise!"

"Oh, I'll give ya a bruise ya jack-!"

"Ladies, ladies! Please, you're both pretty!" Gaius held a hand up, causing the bickering muscleheads to stop. "Er, forget what I just said. But yeah, calm down. You're scaring the kid."

"I ain't scared of 'em, Mr. Gaius," Donnel denied, although the way the old wooden chair he was sitting was leaning, it was clear he was a bit unnerved by the possibility of a fight breaking out between them. "Think we can start with what ya wanted to do, yeah. Mean, we gots to get up tomorrow all bright and early-like, right?"

"That we do, Farmboy, that we do," Gaius agreed, sitting down easily at the table. "Come on, Sailor."

I nodded, sitting down at the last available seat. The chair creaked as I sat in it.

"So, we go to battle tomorrow," Gaius started, leaning back. "Horrible business, all of it. Couldn't really do much in an open battle even if I wasn't a thief by trade. But anyway, this ain't about that. Bubbles gave me a mission to go and rob some old castle or another. A completely government-sanctioned robbery, I'll have you know. Got him what he wanted, but I also found this-" He pulled out a bottle and put it on the table, it's green glass shimmering in the little light available. "-in the old wine cabinet this old dastard had. Thought we could all share it before we go off to fight."

Vaike looked unimpressed for a second before his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets looking at the label. "I-Is… is that… is that Altean Red 981!? Y-Ya can't be serious!"

Sully guffawed. "By Gods! This night just got a whole lot better!"

"Er, I don't right know myself about all this wine business…" Donnel added awkwardly.

"What's so special about it, Gaius?" I asked.

"What's so special about it? Listen to yourself, Sailor! This wine is worth its weight in gold!" He explained dramatically. "Actually, it's not. But it is rare. Might be one of the last bottles of it on the continent. And we're gonna drink it."

I felt uneasy, but maybe the mood of Sully and Vaike was getting to me; I actually didn't feel revolted at the thought.

"Now, usually you'd drink this kinda wine with a specially made glass while basking in the moonlight of a warm Rosannean night, but we don't have that luxury, so I got us a few mugs."

True to his word, he brought out wooden mugs. Nothing special. Didn't have to be, though. After a small amount of trouble opening it, the wine was poured into the mugs. It had just enough to fill the five of them.

"Alright, everyone, it's been nice knowing you!" Gaius said, holding up his mug. "Anything happens to any of you during the battle, I'll be sure to visit your grave!"

A toast followed; all of us banged our mugs together like barbarians. I think I enjoyed that part the most. When I eventually convinced myself to actually drink, I realized the taste wasn't too bad either.

It wasn't a bad last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it bois. We in the endgame of Act 1. Just two more chapters and I'll consider Act 1 of this fic done, and we head into what I have planned for the timeskip. Hopefully it'll go over as well as this Act did with you guys.
> 
> Chapter 15 is already finished at the time of writing this AN, and lemme tell ya... It was an emotionally taxing chapter to write. You'll see why when You see it next week.
> 
> And here, before I forget, our Discord server: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Anyway, got nothing else to say. See you next time!


	15. The Ephemeral Dream

We had passed through the Old Altean Wasteland on our way out of Plegia when we tried to save Emmeryn. It was a miserable place, filled with crumbling ruins with not a single village in sight for its entire stretch. Not even the hardy Plegians could make the ruined land livable. Not a drop of water was nearby, meaning we had to bring all of the water we could use with us. I'd heard a lot from Robin about it. Marth's old homeland was one of the first places to feel Grima's wrath during the Schism.

_Fuck, how did I not notice all this shit when we came here last time!?_

Granted, on our way out I was delirious. And on our way in we went through what used to be Gra.

Nonetheless, this time it was impossible to miss the ruins that surrounded our army as we marched. It was like traveling through Dark Souls all over again. When I wasn't cursing the heat of the day and the freezing temperatures of the night, I was wondering just how long those ruins would be there. Would they be there long after I was gone? Probably. If they've lasted over a thousand years.

Not that any of it mattered. Soon, the ruins around us would serve as an audience to the carnage to come. It was going to be one helluva battle, if the numbers were right.

We had set up camp in the shadow of a broken cathedral. We were not but a day's march from Gangrel's location. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife.

I was waiting for the inevitable when Frederick, in all of his shining armor glory, broke into the campsite, his expression grim. Chrom left his command tent along with Robin, and met him right in the middle of the camp. Not the best place to receive news, but who was I to judge?

"Milord, I bring news from Phila and her scouts," Frederick reported, his voice level.

Phila was alive. My head perked up. I'd nearly forgotten all about her.

_You were able to save her but not Emmeryn. Three lives for the price of one. Now that's a fucking bargain._

Chrom traded glances with Robin and took a deep breath. "Let's hear it, Frederick. No holding back."

Frederick bowed his head. "The Plegian army number in the thousands. A small amount of them have deserted, but not so many that it evens the odds. They have the advantage of numbers."

Well, it looked like I was wrong about the fight being even. I hung my head. Another nail in my metaphorical coffin. Not only did our attempt to save Emmeryn fail, but it actively made things worse.

_Perfect. Aren't they lucky to have you here, boy scout?_

I heard Chrom swear under his breath and look to the sandy ground. Robin, on the other hand, only paled slightly before returning to normal.

"Chrom," He called.

"…Robin, it feels as if all of our efforts have been in vain," Chrom spilled out without warning. "All of it. All of the battles, Emm's… Emm's death. All of the sacrifice, for  _nothing_. I feel just as powerless when she fell as I do now. We couldn't save her.  _I_ couldn't save her! And now Gangrel's army occupies our home, doing Gods know what to our people. My failures have led us to this point! I just…"

I frowned, my breathing becoming more ragged as I tried to hold back tears.

_It's not your failures, Chrom. It's mine._

"Chrom, look at me," Robin said firmly.

Chrom's eyes left the ground and focused on Robin's red ones.

"I was powerless once, remember?" He asked, stretching his arms out. "Alone, all of us our powerless. But that is why we banded together! We will fight our hardest to avenge Emmeryn's death, and we will struggle to uphold her ideas, together! If you falter, I,  _we_ , will pick you back up! And should you fall, we shall fall with you!"

"I am not worthy of her ideals, Robin," Chrom stated. "I thank you, but… I am just not her. I am not as forgiving as she was. She was on a different plane than I. Why would any of you want to follow someone such as that? Someone who would fail at what he's always wanted to uphold?"

"If you do not think you are worthy of her ideals, you will keep working at it until you are," Robin said resolutely. "And if you should truly fall, then I will go with you. No matter what. You will always have me."

I decided to stop being silent.

"And you'll have me," I stood up, and walked over towards them. "I've made a shit ton of mistakes in my life. But for what it's worth, you have my sword. For Emmeryn."

Unbeknownst to Chrom, all the Shepherds had gathered and heard him profess his worries. One by one, they spoke.

"Heh, what he said!" Nowi said cheerfully. "Although I don't like swords. Guess I'll just flame 'em! That still counts, right?"

Lon'qu stepped forward. "Were I to find you unworthy, I would have deserted you long ago."

"Hah, admit it, you'd lose half the manpower in this army without me! With ya till the end, Your Highness!" Sully said, half-mockingly and half-sincerely.

Vaike flexed his impressive muscles. "Where would Teach be without his rival!? Gotta have someone around to keep ya on yer toes! Glad to oblige!"

A teen with a pot on his head came forward, adjusting it slightly. "If ya didn't save me an' my ma, I'd be done in the ground or milkin' cows! Ya gave me the life I always done wanted, Your Majestyfulness!"

A young boy in a barely fitting robe spoke next. I almost forgot about Ricken. "You're like a hero to us, and to me! We'd be lost without you!"

If I'd looked away for just a moment, I would've missed the small tear that went down Chrom's cheek at our declarations. "My Shepherds… My friends! From the bottom of my heart, I thank you! The battle ahead is unsure, our future uncertain. And yet I ask you to follow me. Gangrel must be stopped for peace to finally reign in Ylisse. Will you follow me?"

"Heh, count me in!" Lissa said, waving her staff around playfully. "I'm tired of moping around all the time! Time to start kicking butt!"

I snickered at that one.

"Hear, hear, darling! Our people have suffered enough!" Maribelle said, somehow being heard by me even though she was on the other side of the circle the Shepherds had formed.

"I care not for Gangrel," A dark voice said next to me, making me nearly jump out of my skin. "But should you ask me, I suppose I wouldn't say no…"

_Tharja._

I'd completely forgotten she'd existed. And I didn't miss the way Robin looked away, extremely uncomfortable. Hell,  _I_ was uncomfortable.

"I would gladly lay down my life for House Ylisse! You have my sword!" Stahl declared.

"I'll fight for you too, my lord!" A voice shouted next to me. For once, I was able to keep myself from slamming straight into Kellam's armored form. "You know. Since I'm here and all."

"Ah, to inspire such loyalty, even from me! Truly you possess the talents of a worthy monarch! I, the archest of archers, will valiantly fight at your side!" Virion said, swishing his purple hair back dramatically.

"Come what may, my liege, I shall always be the shield at your side!" Sumia said.

"Your sister earned my respect," Panne rumbled. "You shall have my claws at your call. The last of the taguel will champion her."

"I shall fight by your side, my prince!" I heard Cordelia say. "Until the very end!"

"You have grown stronger, milord. Stronger than anyone could have realized," Frederick said, his voice uncharacteristically wavering. "I'm afraid I have set a poor example as a Knight under your command… but I swear to you, I will lay down my life long before I allow any more exalted blood be spilled!"

"All of you… Your words have done more for me than anything else could," Chrom said sincerely. I saw Robin smile fondly as Chrom regained himself. "You all honor me with your fealty. I promise you, I shall not falter again! We shall answer his goading with outrage! The Mad King must be stopped!"

Cheers of agreement made my ears ring, and yet I joined my voice with theirs. In that moment, I felt like I truly belonged. I hadn't felt that in a long time. That night may have been the best night of my entire life just for that reason.

Like so many other things, it was an ephemeral feeling.

* * *

The last morning before the battle was a quiet one, despite the lingering feeling of hope from the night before. We'd arrived near what would become a bloody battlefield near midday, the sun hanging high in the sky and blanketing the sand and dust in light. The land was in-between two dried riverbeds, and on the far side from where we were, were old ruined forts. Gangrel's bases of operations. To charge in with reckless abandon would be suicide, considering the size of his forces against our own. The Shepherd's may have been a highly trained private militia at that point, but even we could succumb to sheer numbers.

Robin apparently surmised as much as I as his focused gaze trailed across the ruined horizon. Even from here, we could see the fires from the Plegian's side.

"They outnumber us three-to-one," I said, looking away back to the camp. "I know what I said last night but right now I'm starting to think we're fucked."

"…Then it is an even fight," Robin replied without blinking.

I stared at him blankly.

"I've already discussed the plan with Chrom and the Khans," Robin continued, crossing his arms. "No matter what, Gangrel is going to fall on this day. I am sure of it."

"…No matter the cost, Robin?" I asked quietly.

"We are getting out of this alive, Alex," Robin said assuredly, turning his head to face me. "You have my word. No one is dying on my watch this day."

"God, I hope you're right…" I mumbled to myself.

"You shall see," He said simply, turning around completely. "Gangrel is impatient; I'm sure he wants this war to end almost as much as we do. We shall capitalize on this, just as he was hoping to do so to us."

I had a traitorous thought that Robin didn't understand Gangrel nearly as much as he thought he did. Not that I did either, although his impassioned speech to Emmeryn certainly implied a great deal. Nonetheless, I nodded. I had to have faith in Robin if I didn't have any faith in myself. The only reason any of Robin's plans had failed was because of my own negligence, after all.

Not this time. This time I was just another soldier on the battlefield. One of many. I liked it that way. Just go out there and follow orders. I could do that. Who couldn't?

"The battle will begin soon, Alex," Robin informed me, walking back towards the camp. "Take what time is left to get your head clear. You will know when it is time."

He walked back to the camp, the dust on the ground puffing up with each step.

I took one last look at the soon-to-be battlefield. The ground was cracked and arid, almost like it was dry skin. The ruins of a long-gone kingdom would be all around us as we fought. I could already see it; the blood of thousands flowing through the cracks like rivers, the bodies piling up into giant mountains of decay and rot.

I shook my head, attempting to shuffle those thoughts away. They'd do me no good. They wouldn't do anyone good.

And yet, I couldn't help but think of all the things that could go wrong.

* * *

Two armies stood on either side of the ruined landscape, facing each other down with not a sound between them.

The silence was deafening. The air was thick with tension. I almost felt like I couldn't breathe. On either side of me were my friends, my comrades throughout the past half-year. Donnel on my right, and Vaike on my left.

Donnel still wore that ridiculous pot on his head, although the rest of him was kitted out in armor. Even Vaike had done away with going out into battle with only a single shoulderplate, opting to put on armor on himself for once. I tried to ignore the rays of sunlight glinting off of it and into my eyes.

In front of us, at the head of the formation, stood Chrom.

Far away, the Plegian army looked like a horde of ants. There were so many of them I couldn't tell where their formation ended and began. I wondered just how fucked we'd have been if Gangrel had waited for his main army to attack us.

This was it. Everything hinged on this moment.

Chrom unsheathed Falchion, the legendary blade nearly blinded me with the light reflecting off it, and held it steady.

Off in the distance, I heard the sound of horns. The next moment, the Plegian army surged forward in a stampede like a herd of buffalo.

At the sight of it, I took a step back, only to have a hand keep me from doing what my instincts demanded I do. Turning around, I saw Lon'qu, giving me the stink eye. The Chon'sinian swordsman nodded his head to the charging Plegian forces, and I forced myself back around. I shook my head and forced myself to harden my resolve. I couldn't run even if I wanted to.

"… _Archers!_ " Chrom ordered. In the next moment, arrows filled the sky like rain, coming down on the charging Plegians. The arrows struck true, impaling a good portion of them before they even reached our line. Some Plegians fell, gurgling on their own blood when the arrows pierced through their throats. Others were not so lucky, instead having their bodies riddled with them before they collapsed, unable to move.

This did not stop the Plegians. They just ran over, or in some cases avoided, their fallen friends. The dust they kicked up began to make them look like they were running away from a sandstorm.

"Shepherds, Feroxi!  _Hold the line!_ " Chrom shouted, holding Falchion in a defensive stance.

All around me, I heard swords being drawn from their scabbards, axes being loosed from belts, and lances and spears being drawn out. Donnel drew his own sword, while Vaike's giant axe glinted in the sun.

I couldn't tell if the sounds were grating, or music to my ears.

The Plegians only drew closer.

One moment, all I could hear was the stomping of booted feet and hooves. And in the next, I was blocking a blow from an axe.

Our forces finally clashed.

I gritted my teeth as the full force of the Plegians slammed into me. Screams and shouts echoed through the air, as did the infernal noise of steel and iron clashing against one another. I pushed the Plegian who crashed into me back and swung my sword down through his shoulder. He screamed as the blow no doubt shattered his shoulder blade and cut into his chest. I wrenched my blade free as his face was contorted into an ungodly expression of pain. My sword plunged through his chest, and he fell to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut.

I could see my friends fighting. Chrom practically  _flew_ through the battlefield, Falchion still shining so brightly despite the blood that now coated it. He cut one Plegian down after another. He even bisected one, said Plegian's front half fell forward with a dumbfounded expression, with his legs falling backward.

I heard Vaike shout as his axe cleaved a Plegians head in two, and another time when it buried itself in another one's shoulder. Nervously, I saw Donnel facing off against several Plegians at once. My worries were assuaged when he cut one of them down, before being helped by Sully on horseback, her spear going straight through a soldier's chestplate and out his back.

We were not without our own casualties. The Feroxi with us were taking as many losses as the Plegians. I saw one Feroxi, covered in fur, get torn apart as two Plegian cavaliers got him with their swords, spraying blood over their horses. Another Feroxi killed a Plegian with his axe but didn't realize that a mage was readying a fireball just behind him. Charred chunks of flesh rained across the battlefield soon after.

My breathing was erratic as I kept going. Another Plegian fell to my sword, his blood coating both it and the dry ground. I spotted another one just as he spotted me. We were charging at each other before an unexpected interruption came from the sky and crushed him. A Pegasus, its white wings splattered with red as it twitched on the ground. What I could only assume was once its rider was a barely recognizable hunk of flesh, not unlike the man who'd just been crushed by them.

I looked to the sky for a moment, seeing that the skies were filled with an airborne fight of its own. Pegasi, wyverns, and what I could only assume were griffins all flew through the sky like a mythic dog fight. A griffin soared above a wyvern, its riders axe burying into the flying lizard's long neck. Its blood fell to the ground like crimson rain, followed by its giant body. A Pegasus' wing was sheared off by a passing wyvern rider, sending the creature and its rider careening to the ground. Disturbingly, I even saw a wyvern attack a griffin with its teeth, ripping said griffin's throat out.

_If Cordy's up there, I hope she's okay._

My body returned to autopilot as the battle continued. The horde of Plegians seemed endless as I cut down soldier after soldier, gaining cuts and slashes of my own as it went on. After a while, I heard a roar from just behind our line. The Plegian I was fighting looked behind me as  _something_ flew up from our lines. His eyes widened almost comically as another roar echoed across the bloodied landscape.

Nowi was here.

Nowi, in dragon form, flew through the sky like a kite, her strong wings easily keeping her aloft. All of the fliers in the sky avoided her like she carried the plague. This was a mistake, as in that next moment, Nowi unleashed incandescent fire onto the enemy.

I could see all of it. Some Plegians were turned into charcoal in an instant, the ground beneath them turning into glass as the fire trailed across the battlefield. Others were not so lucky, only having a body part or two be burned off. This made them easy pickings for our forces.

At any other point, I would've been terrified of the sight of so much death around me, but all I felt was numbness. Numbness at the blood and the dying.

I heard another horn ring out. Our horn. Our signal. All at once, our forces disengaged. Some finished fighting each other, not stopping until the other was dead on the ground. I attempted to pull back, but something stopped me.

I couldn't see Donnel.

_…No. nononono_

" _Fuck!_ " I cursed, dodging a blow from a Plegian before stabbing him through the chest. I needed to find Donnel. He wasn't retreating with the rest, that much I could tell.

I could see a group of Plegians, surrounding a lone soldier. I couldn't make out his face, but I decided to take my chances.

I ran forward.

A Plegian tried to stop me, but a slashed my sword across his throat and let him fall to the ground as I kept going. Soon enough, I was upon the small group. My blade went through one's back, making him cry out before I wrenched it free and kicked him to the ground. All I could hear was my own heartbeat thundering in my ears as I cut one down. And then another. And another. Their blood sprayed over me but somehow, I didn't care. Once they were all taken care of, I looked down. And I paled.

To say Donnel was in a bad state would be an understatement. It was clear he'd been surrounded, just as I'd saw him. Several stab wounds. Blood flowing onto the ground. One of my worst fears. His pot was hanging off his head awkwardly. Despite this, he was still breathing shallowly.

"A…Alex…?" He rasped. "Think… Think I done… bit off more than I can chew, huh…?"

I snapped back to my senses as I knelt down. "Jesus fucking Christ, Donny! Hang on, lemme just-!"

A shout interrupted me, and I turned back to see a Plegian with his axe raised. I wouldn't have enough time to block the blow; I was about to join Donnel in being emaciated.

A different axe buried itself in the soldier's shoulder, making him scream in agony. He was silenced as it was yanked out and buried in his chest. Vaike stood above the body, looking at me like I was crazy.

"What in Naga's name are ya doin' Alex-!" He stopped as he saw Donnel. "Oh… Ah,  _shit!_ "

"We need to get him outta here, now!" I exclaimed, carefully hoisting Donnel's arm over my shoulder. "Please, for the love of all that's holy, keep 'em off my back!"

I noticed his pot fell off his head, but paid it no mind.

"Er, yeah, ya got it! Don't worry, bud, we'll get ya outta here!" Vaike encouraged, staring down another Plegian that'd taken notice of us. "Gods damn, how many of 'em are there!?"

"Doesn't matter! We need to get with the others!" I shouted, realizing holding Donnel arm over my shoulder in the state he was in might not be the best decision. Instead, I opted for an army carry, with his entire torso over my shoulders.

"A-Alex… Ma's gonna be cross with me…" He whispered. I could hear him. Despite all the noises of hell around me, I could hear him.

"Fuck, why's that, Donny? Stay with me goddamnit!" I cried.

"Don't think I'm… gonna be true to my promise…" He murmured. I could hear the pain in his raspy voice.

"D-Don't you dare fucking say that, Donnel!" I nearly shrieked, going as fast as I could, my legs trying their best to outrun the horde behind us. Vaike was doing his best to keep stragglers off of us. I'd have to remember to thank him. Would have to tell Donnel to do that, too. Because he was making it out of there.

"…Tell my ma… I'm sorry…" He breathed out.

"Shut the fuck up!" I screamed, feeling a burning sensation around my eyes. "Fucking hell! Vaike, come on!"

* * *

Despite all the odds, we made it. Vaike and I, with Donnel on my shoulders. Back to the camp. Feroxi reserve troops were holding off the Plegians while the Shepherds rearmed and healed. Soon, we'd go back and charge the Plegians again, and hold off long enough to get Gangrel to take to the field. I passed by several people, including Stahl, who looked at me and winced.

I didn't care. What mattered was getting Donnel to a healer.

With his job done, Vaike went to go help someone else. That was fine. I spotted what I assumed was the cleric's tent and entered.

It was full of people, most of them on cots with bandages wrapped around their injuries. Some looked dead. That didn't matter. I walked further in, noticing a few clerics and priests attending to the wounded. I saw a cleric towards the back, her eyes bloodshot and tired.

I made a beeline towards her. She looked up from her current duties and grimaced.

"Please, please, you gotta help Donny!" I nearly screamed, close to hysterics. I laid him down, noticing how peaceful he looked. The ground was hardly the best place for him, but it was the only space available.

Wordlessly, the cleric held a staff over him, its green glow washing over him like water.

"H-He was surrounded. On all sides. The fuck did they do that for!? Were they scared of him or some shit?"

"Sir?"

"I-I'm just glad I got him outta there. I mean fucking hell he was…"

"Sir."

"But it's okay now because-!"

"Sir!"

I was snapped out of it and looked the cleric in the eyes.

She held her staff to her chest, looking at me with as much sympathy as her tried expression would allow. "I'm… I'm sorry, sir. He's dead."

…

The world grew still, the air silent. I looked down at Donnel's body, noticing how his chest wasn't moving up and down. Despite all of the wounds and the blood, he looked as if he was at peace. My eyes didn't leave his body for several moments.

I felt something snap. The dam I'd constructed broke down, letting loose a flood.

And then, all I saw was red.

"Those. Fucking.  _Animals._ " I snarled, drawing my sword and turning around, ignoring the protests of the cleric.

"…Oh, Alex, you-" I pushed pass the person who entered the tent, only taking notice of her crimson hair before I walked out into the sun.

I breathed in and out, in and out. It felt like I'd just injected adrenaline straight into my bloodstream. My mind was foggy, yet so, so clear. I'd made up my mind.

I was going to go back out to that accursed battlefield, and I was going to murder every single  _bastard_  who got in my way.

* * *

" _You motherfuckers!_ " I roared, charging forward with my sword held high in the air. It was not a far run. Not the farthest I'd ever ran. I was still ready to kill them.

The Plegian who was unlucky enough to be in front of me first got a face full of sword as I forced my blade through his skull, not stopping until it was all the way through. His eyes still focused on me through the whole thing, up until I yanked the sword upward, effectively cutting his head in half. He fell to the ground with a wet 'plop'.

I spotted another one and shouted so loud I barely sounded human to my own ears. He barely had time to react before I plunged my sword deep into his shoulder. I plunged it so far I could see the white of bone. He screamed so loud my ears were ringing.

"You feel that, fucker!?" I growled, tearing my blade free. "I'm gonna make sure you feel everything Donny felt,  _bastard!_ "

He'd already dropped his own weapon, so he was unable to stop my sword from cutting his other shoulder like a meat cleaver through beef. I silenced his screeching by shoving my sword up through his jaw and out the back of his head. His face went cross-eyed before he fell to the sandy and bloody ground.

I turned around, not nearly done yet, noticing the battle going on all around me. Another Plegian looked at me, fear in his eyes.

"You… cocksuckers!" I breathed out, taking a step forward. "I'll kill you all, do you hear me!? I'll kill every single last one of you!"

I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. I descended into all of my repressed emotions, letting it all out in one final show. Time became a blur. All around me was red. Everything was red. One Plegian went down, my sword through his chest, cracking through his ribs before I brutally tore it out through his side, making him look like a slasher move victim. Another went down when I slashed him across the leg, letting him watch in fear as my blade went across his neck. His head rolled around like a marble. I did not relent. I couldn't let myself relent. I had to keep the momentum up. To stop is to die. To stop meant to be like Donnel.

_Donnel…_

"You're all like animals! Every single one of you, an animal!  _Fucking animals!_ " I shouted, my vocal cords feeling raw.

My sword broke inside the belly of a Plegian, snapping in half like a twig. I blinked, briefly snapped out of my rage before descending back into it again. Another Plegian was coming up behind me as his friend fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes. I whirled on him and tackled him, catching him off guard.

I wasn't even making coherent sounds anymore. Somewhere, in the back of my mind where I was still lucid, I could tell that. Just growls, snarls, and the occasional shout.

I raised both of my fists and slammed them down onto the man's head.

I didn't stop at just one. Repeatedly I did that. One fist after the other, I beat his face into a bloody pulp. I kept at it, until I heard a crack. The soldier stopped moving. His head looked like someone had broken a plate with spaghetti on it.

Quickly, I reached for the man's weapon. An axe. I didn't care what weapon I had to use. Any piece of metal and wood would do.

The next Plegian found this out when I brought my newfound axe upwards, crashing through his ribs like a wrecking ball before tearing through his neck with it.

The Plegians were endless. I should've been worried, should've been concerned. I wasn't. Instead, I was happy. It meant I wouldn't run out of them. I was going through them rather fast, after all.

The axe didn't last long, breaking off at the hilt easily after only a couple dozen strikes. That didn't matter. It just meant I had to scavenge off the ground. A bloodied sword would have to do. Metal against flesh. Blood against the ground.

I could make out the words of several Plegians. I was surprised they could even speak. A few words made sense. Not many, but a few. 'Monster' chief among them. What right did they have to call me that? After what they did to Donnel?

I made sure the next Plegian I came across knew this. I surprised him, swinging my sword just in front of his nose. He fell to the ground, trying his best to get away.

Of course, he would. How very much like them. Like all of them. I stepped forward until I was right above him. I shouted one last time, lifting my right arm up, ready to kill him and be done with it.

I was confused when I didn't see the sword swing down with my arm. I was even more confused when I saw a severed hand sail through the air, blood flowing out of where it used to connect to the arm of someone, looking like the beginning of a great, swirling red vortex. A blood red sword fell to the ground beside it once it landed.

I snapped out of it. For good this time as I looked down at my arm. My right hand was gone. I felt nothing there, absolutely nothing. All that was left was the bloody stump where it used to be. My forearm looked wrong without it.

I turned around to see a Plegian, a young one; no older than maybe sixteen. He stared at me with tears in his eyes and the most heat-filled expression I'd ever seen.

I didn't have time to think about this. He swung his sword up, and I could feel it travel through my body. I could see my own blood spray out of my cut skin. I could feel my ribs crack and buckle as it continued to travel upward. It went through my throat, and finally stopped after cutting into my cheek.

I could feel iron-tasting liquid fill my mouth as I fell backwards.

All I could see was a red woman above a fluffy cloud, and all went dark.

* * *

_An impossible dream. A lie. A fabrication._

_It was unachievable, the thing I wanted. Not like I'd made much of an effort to get it, did I? Just sat in the back, quietly thinking how cool it'd be to be like them. Like a hero. Who wouldn't pass up the chance to become that? It's the very reason people play video games or read books in the first place._

_Fantasy and reality are two completely different things. And I found out I was not a hero, and I never would be._

_A hero wouldn't have let Emmeryn die. A hero wouldn't have allowed Donnel to be butchered. A hero would have done something. He would have changed things for the better._

_And what did I do?_

_I did nothing._

_The light I'd chased for so long would never be in my grasp. This much I understood._

* * *

It was so, ungodly hot. It felt like the heat was burning a hole through my chest. Thirst and hunger racked my body as I tried to take a breath, only to feel like I was drowning. My eyes opened slowly, mechanically, to nothing but blurry shapes and colors. It felt like the entire world was rocking in place.

" _Darling, you need… calm yourself…doing everything we can_ ," I heard a voice. Muffled, barely audible compared to the ringing in my ears. One of the blurs said it, I was sure. The yellow-gold one. " _He is in… condition. We need to…_ "

Condition? What condition? What was happening? I could barely see, could barely hear. For all I knew, the world around me really was just a bunch of blurry figures and faces. Staring down at me. Like a kid looking down at their ant farm.

" _Marib… I know that but we need to… Cordelia's…"_  A different voice. Lighter. It wasn't supposed to sound so sad. It felt unnatural.

What about Cordelia? Was she okay? Was Donnel okay?

_Wait… Donnel…_

I gurgled, trying to say something but failing to. Liquid poured down my throat and into my lungs, making breathing more difficult than ever before.

" _Gods, he's awake…! Lissa, help… keep him from reopening… get him back to sleep…!_ " The other voice frantically shouted.

I didn't understand any of this. What was happening to me? Why did I feel this way? What was with the scorching heat in my chest and thick liquid choking me? I didn't know. I didn't know anything. Soon, all I began to feel was pain.

And then it went dark again.

* * *

_I tried to chase the light. I really did. In the end, though, I couldn't._

_I fell down. I tripped. I stuttered. I hesitated. Soon, it was so far away there would never be any hope of getting it ever again. All of my effort, for nothing. An existence without it was one that lead to nothing. No accomplishment, no feeling, nothing. A world without it was a damned cold one._

_A world without it was not worth living in._

_I looked to my right. Twinkling in the darkness was a sword. Sharper than anything I'd ever seen. It would be the perfect tool. It would serve its ultimate purpose. Not like I could anymore._

_I picked it up by its cold hilt. It was more frigid than death itself._

_With not a hint of hesitation, I placed the blade's tip against my stomach._

_I thrusted-_

* * *

My eyes opened slowly, groggily. For a few seconds, my mind was completely blank. All I was conscious to, was a dull throbbing near my right hand and my chest. Blurry shapes came into focus as I stared up at the ceiling. An unfamiliar yet homely ceiling. A lot like the one back at my room in the barracks.

My eyes widened as memories came flooding back to me.

"D-Donnel!" I sat straight up, ignoring the pain in my chest for a second.

It was too much. I held a hand to my-

There was something very, very wrong. Even my voice sounded wrong. Definitely more gravely than before. Like someone dried my vocal cords while I was out.

Quivering a little, I raised my right arm up. That was what felt the strangest.

A scarred stump was all that greeted me. From my wrist down, there was nothing. My hand was gone. Completely gone. For a second, I didn't even register this fact. I looked down at my bare chest, nearly throwing up at the massive trauma I'd sustained. A massive, ugly scar trailed up from my side, going across my sternum. I traced its path along my throat and face, noticing it had cut through my lip and up to my cheek.

"W…What…" My voice didn't sound like my own. Not at all.

Trembling in that room, all I could do was stare at where my right hand used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Yeah. Emotionally taxing. Just like the next chapter. Not done at the time of writing this AN but it should hopefully be done soon.
> 
> So, yeah. Nothing to say, really. This chapter speaks for itself.
> 
> Would you believe me if I said I initially wanted to write this as pure wish-fulfillment? That didn't last long.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> So yeah, see you guys next week.


	16. The Ride Never Ends

I'm not sure how long I sat there looking at where my right hand used to be. However much time it was, it was long enough for someone to come in and check on me.

"Oh, you're… awake," They observed, pausing as they opened the door before entering entirely. "The healers told me you would not be conscious for another week."

I turned, slowly, to the cloaked tactician that entered my room. Robin walked forward a little way, pulling up a nearby chair and placing it just to the side of my bed.

"Robin," I rasped. "What the fuck happened to me?"

He winced as he heard me speak. I couldn't blame him; I sounded like I'd eaten an entire gravel driveway. "I'll… tell you in a moment. How are you feeling? Any sharp pains? Lissa and Maribelle patched up most of the damage on the way here, but there's always a chance for something to go wrong with injuries of your caliber."

"As far as I know, I came here in a wagon with fucking  _holes_  in my throat and chest, and down one hand, and everything just hurts all over," I growled, holding up my stump for him to see. "How the  _hell_ do you think I'm doing?"

"Ah, I meant sharp pains," Robin clarified, avoiding looking at the patch of scar tissue where my hand used to be. "That would mean that a wound has reopened. Although I do not think any have, if you are able to talk as you are."

I looked down at my sheet-covered legs for a second before replying: "…No. No sharp pains. I'm just uncomfortably warm, all around here." I traced my fingers along the scar on my chest. "And… and my voice, Robin. What happened?"

Robin had trouble looking me in the eye. "I will not lie to you, Alex, you were in a state when I first saw you. It looked like someone had tried to pry your chest open with their bare hands. And your hand…" He forced himself to look at where it used to be. "Lissa and Maribelle had to work overtime just to keep you breathing. Your wounds were so severe they were in danger of reopening if you were not attended to for extended lengths of time. You were lucky to get out with just those scars."

"I don't feel very lucky right now, Robin."

Robin shrugged. "They… They did the best they could, Alex. I'm just…"

I rubbed my forehead, feeling myself almost breaking when I heard the tone of his voice. "I… I know, Robin." I perked up. "What happened to Donnel? And the battle? I can't… I remember something happened to him, but…"

At this, Robin buried his face in his gloved hands. After a few deep breaths, he looked back up. "The battle ended with our victory; Gangrel is dead. As for Donnel…" Robin paused, his expression darkening. "He's gone, Alex. You brought him into a cleric's tent after the first half of the battle, but he had already succumbed to his wounds before you even arrived. It was… The other Shepherds have taken it hard, despite our overall resounding victory."

_Dead. Donnel is dead. You couldn't save him._

"…Oh." I closed my eyes. Somehow, deep down, I knew that was what happened. I just didn't want to believe it. The literal ray of sunshine that was Donnel was dead. He'd never go home. We would never talk again. He'd never do anything except rot six feet under the ground.

"…It should have  _never_ happened," Robin claimed vehemently. "He should never have been left alone. I should have assigned someone to help him. For him to be killed under my watch, because of  _my_ strategy, is unacceptable."

"Not like I helped much…" I mumbled, laying back down. "I know I'll sound like a broken record here, but really I should've been the one to help him. Instead, all I did was bring back his corpse."

"A friend of mine once told me to never blame yourself for someone else's mistakes," Robin said, his voice adamant. "This was not your fault, but mine. Let it stay that way."

I was going to retort, although I was unsure what I was going to really say to that, but the door opened suddenly. A familiar red-headed Pegasus Knight entered my room.

"…Oh." She seemed to be lost in thought before she entered the room, but her eyes focused on Robin and me after a second. "If this is a bad time, I can come back later-"

"It is fine." Robin waved off. "It is not as if we were discussing anything really important. Come in."

Cordelia nodded, entering fully. She pulled out the last remaining chair and sat close to me and Robin. "It was my turn to check on Alex, but I suppose that is no longer necessary."

"Check on me?" I asked, brow raised. "Wait, how long was I out for?"

I tried my best to ignore Cordelia wincing at the sound of my voice. "Hmm. Three weeks. Or somewhere around there. Things have been moving quickly so I haven't been able to keep track of time as well as I'd like."

_…Three weeks…_

"Cordelia was the one more often than not assigned to watch over you. She volunteered, most of those times," Robin explained seriously. "I suppose she felt some sort of obligation. She was the one who saved you. When she came in carrying you through the camp over her shoulder… That was certainly a sight."

Cordelia grimaced, looking down. "I flew you out of that battlefield. It is only natural that I monitor your health as well, such as it was. There were several times where we were not sure you would make it."

"…Huh," I grunted, looking at the armored Pegasus Knight. "I… I guess I should thank you, then."

The only thing I could truly think of was how I was there and Donnel was not.

Cordelia avoided my gaze. "It was no issue. After I saw you leave the cleric's tent, I knew something was wrong. I'm just glad to see you are doing better."

"For someone's definition of  _better_ …" I mumbled. I couldn't keep thinking about it. My injuries. How I got them. What I looked like. All of it. I needed something else. "So, three weeks, then? Anything happen during that time?"

At this, the mood of the room instantly changed. While it was by no means a good mood, at least Robin and Cordelia didn't look like rain clouds had gathered over their heads.

"…Well," Robin began. "Chrom is officially engaged."

"…Oh." I narrowed my eyes. Cordelia I could understand being distraught at this, but Robin? "Who's he getting married to, then? I mean, I heard about somebody going to his room at night before, well…"

"It's Sumia," Cordelia said simply. Almost hollowly. "Prince Chrom proposed to her just after the battle. It was… Well, they'll be happy together, all things considered. I'm happy for them."

Robin said nothing as Cordelia told me that. He was too busy staring at the wall behind me.

"…Shit, are you okay?" I queried, looking Cordelia in the eyes.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She replied almost instantly, as if it was rehearsed. She smiled. A fake smile if I ever saw one. "There's… nothing to be forlorn about! I'm fine."

"Cordy, you're doing that thing where your smile doesn't reach your eyes," I said, sitting up. "I… know you had feelings for Chrom. You told me, remember?"

Cordelia and I had plenty of little talks throughout the months. It could range from talking about something as mundane as training exercises we both could use to something as heavy as dealing with her grief over the loss of her fellow Pegasus Knights. One topic that came up every once in a while, however, was Chrom. I knew about her unrequited love for him from the game, of course, but I acted surprised when she eventually revealed it to me.

Even then, I did the best thing I could do, and gave her some advice. Probably not very good advice, since the most experience I'd ever had in regards to love was a high school crush in my Freshman year, which couldn't really compare to what Cordelia felt for Chrom.

She wasn't  _obsessed_ , but her feelings were strong, nonetheless.

Cordelia looked as if she was barely keeping it together. Her smile broke, and I could see tears at the corners of her eyes. "I… I suppose I may be distraught. I truly am happy for them, but I can't…" She held a hand to her chest, her breathing becoming labored. "I can't… I just feel so…"

I took a deep breath and swung my legs over the side of the bed so I could sit properly. It hurt a little, but I could take it. This was a distraction from the pain, and it was worth it. "Hey, Cordy."

She looked at me, a tear going down her cheek.

"I'm… not good with this kinda stuff," I rasped, coughing a little before continuing. "Hell, I don't think I've ever had the kinda feelings you have for Chrom, but… Well, I've already said this a lot of times, but I don't mind being here for you. There's… really not a lot I can say, but if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here. It's what I do best, after all. If I can make you feel better I really don't mind."

Her expression completely broke, and the next thing I knew, cold metal pressed against my body as Cordelia's arms hugged me tightly. She was openly sobbing, and I could feel her shaking against me. Momentarily stunned and grimacing at the painful grip she had on me as her closeness and armor irritated the healing scars, I tried my best to hug her back. I almost cried as well when I felt nothing from my right hand.

When we eventually pulled away, after nearly five minutes of her crying on me, she looked at me ashamed. "I… I apologize for that," She murmured. "You're injured; it was inconsiderate of me to do that."

I really didn't care. It kept me from thinking of my own problems after all.

_…Home is sounding really good right about now…_

I shook my head, forcing a smile of my own. "Don't worry about it." I looked to my right to see Robin sitting there, sitting as still as a statue. He wasn't looking at us. In fact, it was almost like he didn't recognize we were in the room at all.

Cordelia followed my gaze. "…Robin? Are you alright?"

Robin jumped a little, looking at both of us wildly for a few seconds before coming back to his senses. "I-I- Yes, I am, Cordelia. I was just lost in thought for a moment…" He paused, before standing up from his chair. "I should go, for now. If you need anything, Alex, do not hesitate to let me know."

He left without another word.

"…I should leave as well." Cordelia got up from her own chair, smiling softly at me. "I shall see you later, Alex. As Robin said, if you need anything, let us know."

I nodded, feeling more than a little helpless. "I'll be sure to do that. See ya."

Once she left, I had nothing to distract me.

Thoughts began to swirl in my mind like a whirlpool. Thoughts of my maimed body, of Donnel, and of home.

For the first time in months, home seemed to be all that I wanted right now. It refused to leave my head. Where was home? Did I consider Ylisse home?

The poisonous thought that entered my head was no, it was not. Being there gave me a wounded body. If I stayed, it would happen again. I'd lose someone I'd come to care about. I'd lose my leg next. Even after only a couple hours without having it, I was noticing just how much I relied on my right hand.

Sometimes, it felt like it was still there. Consciously, I knew it wasn't. But somehow I could still feel it, could still move the fingers, could still try to grab things.

I learned the hard way that just because it felt like it was there didn't mean it was; I caught myself trying to get some water at my bedside, only to feel nothing.

And beyond that, no matter what, I could not calm down. My dreams haunted me.

Without anyone to talk to, I was left to stew with these thoughts for the rest of the night.

* * *

I was able again just a few days after I woke up, an absolutely stunning recovery according to Lissa and Maribelle. I didn't feel stunning, though. One would only need to look at my face to see I was far from  _stunning_. And, of course, there was my lack of a right hand. Most people did a good job hiding their surprise when they first saw it, which was appreciated.

I had made up my mind. I was going to find the Outrealm gate. Before I did though, I needed information and money. Which was why I was putting my still rudimentary reading skills to the test in Castle Ylisse's library.

"…and the way he proposed… Gods, that was the happiest moment of my life!" Sumia gushed next to me. "It was a really bright spot in a dark place."

"Hmm," I hummed, turning a page in the book I was attempting to read.

"Oh, Gods, I'm sorry!" Sumia apologized suddenly, placing a hand over her mouth. "I've just been sitting here talking your ear off! You asked me to help you with reading, right?"

"I did," I said curtly, narrowing my eyes at the page. "This book isn't exactly newbie friendly, is it?"

"Let me see," I handed over the book, and watched as Sumia's eyes easily read the words on the front cover, something that took me a couple seconds to even comprehend. "Oh, no this  _really_ isn't. This is… Yes, this is an encyclopedia of legends! What do you need that for?"

"Curiosity," I answered, taking the book back. "Trying to find something specific," I paused, wondering whether I should just ask her. "Something about an 'Outrealm Gate'. Ever hear of it?"

"Outrealm Gate?" Sumia echoed in confusion. "I mean, I think I've read about that somewhere, but it was always as if I was supposed to know what they meant. It was a plot point in a book a read once, I remember now!" She looked at me strangely. "Is that what you're looking for in that book? It's more of a myth than a legend."

It was difficult to do anything without my dominant hand, but I was managing well with the book, at least. "Is… Is that so?" I sighed, shutting the book closed. "That's… well, that's disappointing."

I knew where the Outrealm Gate was supposed to be: an island off the southern coast of Ylisse. I'd seen maps, and there was one there. I just wanted to know if there was anything more I could glean from in-world. As Sumia said, there wasn't much. I tried not to let it get me down. I already had a shit ton of things doing that.

I felt it every time I looked at my marred and scarred body and remembered how Donnel died. All the people I killed. Had to wonder if sleep would ever be restful again.

A door opened nearby, and when I went to look at the person coming in I found myself turning back away out of reflex. He was one of the last people I wanted to talk to. Not because of anything he did, but because of what I failed to do.

"Ah, Alex! There you are," Chrom walked into the library. Sumia jumped up from her seat and hugged him as he drew near, causing him to laugh. "Hello to you to, Sumia."

Sumia giggled and sat back down. I tried my best to hide my rapidly worsening expression.

"Yeah, I'm here," I said, turning around fully while keeping my expression neutral. "Did you need something from me?"

If Chrom noticed my slightly cold demeanor, he didn't show it. "No, I don't need anything from you. I actually came here to give you something. Have a look."

I leaned forward as Chrom held out something to me. My eyes widened as I got a good look at it.

"Jesus…" I mumbled.

A metal prosthetic hand. That's what it was. Wasn't the prettiest thing in the world, but from the looks of it, it was functional. Functional as in the grey metal fingers looked to be articulated. I stared up at Chrom expectantly.

"I had this commissioned as soon as we came back to Ylisstol," Chrom explained, bending one of the fingers. I was surprised when it stayed in place. "I received advice from Miriel and gave her schematics to a smith I frequent. It was just finished today, in fact." He gave it to me, and I could feel its weight in my remaining hand. "Spring-loaded mechanisms keep the fingers in place, if you're wondering. That's what Miriel told me. That strap right there should keep it fastened to your arm."

It was a little menacing to look at. I could see the bolts that kept it together. An attempt to make it look somewhat human was made, what with the chiseled fingernails and the wrinkles along the knuckles. Slowly, I put it on. I expected it to feel cold and to not fit very well, but I was wrong: it fit on snugly, and I strapped it on.

It didn't feel as wrong as I'd expected. A vague sense of completeness that I didn't know I'd lost flashed through my mind for a moment.

Chrom watched me, smiling. "I've been told it should do most of the things a normal hand can, albeit you can't control it like one. Although that would be a sight to see! You can hold a quill, shield, reins of a horse, anything as long as you bend the fingers the correct way."

"…Heh, this reminds me of something I read once," Sumia said, looking at me as I bent the fingers experimentally, hearing the ticks coming from inside it. "A knight lost his hand in a battle, and he grew cold and despondent. But then, a lovely village maiden comes to soothe his woes…"

"…That reminds me of something," Chrom said, thinking for a moment. "You were saved by Cordelia, but I swear I've never seen Cordelia move that fast. Not even on her Pegasus…"

"Oh, that's right!" Sumia chirped. "I've known her for  _years_ and never saw her run that fast! She hates running!"

I grunted, not focusing on the conversation the two lovebirds were having. The new metal hand I had was far more interesting.

A thought entered my mind. When I got home, how would I explain my scars to my friends and parents? The metal hand? All of it? Did time move there the same as it moved here?

Questions that I'd neglected to ask. All of which raised alarming implications. However, I wouldn't let them shake my resolve. I wanted to go home, and by God, I was going to try my damnedest. I'd do anything to get away from all of this. Evil dragons, medieval battles, sword fighting, disease, death, blood, all of it. If I could get away from all of that, I'd be at ease. I could finally rest. Maybe I'd finally be able to calm down.

Because for months, I couldn't calm down. I felt like I could die at any moment from something that I couldn't prepare for. I never felt safe, no matter where I was. Not even in that library.

"Er, Alex? Are you alright?" I snapped out of my thoughts to see Chrom, looking down at me worryingly.

"Er, fine," I replied, rubbing the back of my head, consciously using my left hand so I didn't feel cold metal on my neck. "Was just lost in thought." I looked down for a second, before forcing myself to look Chrom in the eye. "I… Thank you, Chrom. I really wasn't expecting something like this."

"It's no issue, Alex." Chrom nodded. "You've fought by our side for many months. This is the least I could do to repay your service."

A thought occurred to me. Something that I'd neglected to mention to him for months. It was better now than never. I just hoped he didn't use my back pay to fund the hand.

"Hey, Chrom," I called. "There is something I want to ask, actually…"

* * *

I left the Shepherds barracks at night, a little less than two weeks after I recovered. The scars would always be there; no amount of healing magic would be able to get rid of them. They might fade with time, but I was forever a marked man. The iron hand would serve as another reminder. It was mostly comfortable to wear, but sometimes I'd hear a clicking sound, always reminding me of its presence. It was useful, but it was different. My left hand would have a lot more use than it used to.

None of that mattered; I was going home.

I ignored the multitude of questions that went through my mind as I packed up my meager belongings, putting them in my old schoolbag. My old psychology textbook, my binder, my wallet.

_The phone._

I'd almost forgotten it, sitting on the desk. At first, I reached out for it with my right hand, only to harshly remind myself that my prosthetic couldn't move on its own. Using my left hand, I lifted it up to my face. I pressed the power button.

Of course, nothing happened. Its battery wouldn't inexplicably recharge in the time I was gone.

It would charge when I got home, though, so I threw it into the bag.

Gingerly, I placed the letter I'd written where my phone used to be. Common was a bust, but I'd learned enough to convey what I wanted. At least, I hoped I did. Not like I'd ever use it again. Maybe some part of me just wanted the others to understand, even though I didn't usually talk about my own issues.

_I'll always be there for you, I said. Now I'm leaving._

Ignoring the guilt that flashed across my mind was harder than I thought.

I left as quietly as I could. Chrom slept in the palace, as did Sumia and a number of the other Shepherds. The barracks were still used, even after the end of the war, but it was a little more deserted on that night, for some reason. Gangrel's mark reached even the barracks, though. The Shepherds still weren't done cleaning up the debris.

_You should be helping them, boy scout. Instead, you're running away._

I was running away from many things. Running away from my own thoughts, running away from my responsibilities, running away from my obligations, just running away. I tried my best to ignore it, but even in the darkness, someone would have been able to see the frown on my face.

I was able to sneak out undetected, despite the jingle of coins in my bag. I wasn't sure how much it was, compared to U.S dollars, but it didn't matter. As long as it got me to the island with the Outrealm Gate, it would be enough.

I walked the deserted streets of Ylisstol. The stonework of some of the buildings were damaged, and scorch marks were everywhere. Yet more leftovers from Gangrel's invasion. Rebuilding would take quite some time.

There was also an influx of pregnant women showing up at churches and orphanages, if what I heard Libra say was anything to go by. I tried not to think about the implications of that.

So much for the people being safe, like the initial scouting reports said.

I shook my head. Best not to get caught up in thoughts like that. Once I got to the Outrealm Gate in a few weeks, it'd all be far away from me. Everything would be far away or gone. I imagined it would be a lot like waking up from a nightmare.

I could imagine it all I wanted. I still had that much.

I exited Ylisstol through the main gate. Maybe not the smartest thing to do, but after painstakingly sneaking my way out of the barracks, I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to get away. The guards on duty looked to be very alert, their heads instantly turning to me just when I left the gates. I didn't really look conspicuous, so after a bit of explaining, I was able to convince them I was just a humble traveler, getting an extremely early start to my journey.

Maybe it was my nervousness disguised as excitement that convinced them. Nonetheless, I was able to get out without a hitch.

Well, it was looking that way, until I was stopped just a little ways out of the city by a familiar voice.

"Stop. Now," They demanded, making the hairs at the back of my head stand on end. I turned around, my eyes widening for a second.

_Lucina._

I saw her without her mask for the first time. Other than the long blue hair and deep, heterochromatic eyes, not much had changed. Well, she was glaring at me so harshly it could melt steel. That was a big change.

"…I could come up with a million reasons why you're here," I sighed. I avoided her gaze. "Lets… lets go over there." I pointed to a small clearing off the path.

Wordlessly, she followed. Once we were there, I realized she had her palm on Parallel Falchion's pommel.

"I shall give you a chance to explain yourself,  _Alexander_ ," She growled, breathing heavily. "I want to know why you did nothing. You  _knew_ Emmeryn – my  _aunt_  – was hurtling towards her death, and yet, as far as I can tell, you did  _nothing._  And now I catch you leaving Ylisstol with your tail between your legs. I had no idea you were capable of such cowardice."

My lips thinned as I crossed my arms. "So I guess future me didn't tell you about how she'd die in this timeline, and then you assumed that  _I_ must have known." I tried to keep my breathing under control. "You know what's funny? I did try to save her. I really fucking did."

Lucina palm slowly left Falchion's pommel as I continued. "Just before the battle at Medlun, I came up to Robin and told him what I knew. He was pissed, obviously, but despite that we wrote up a plan. Not much different from how it was supposed to go. Things were looking up; the Pegasus Knights were freed, Aversa was a no-show, absolutely  _zero_ indication shit was about to go fucking  _sideways_. And then that fucking thing came. The goddamn Deadlord. Shot her off the cliff. All of our effort, all of that agony, wasted. You must've heard of this."

Lucina was quiet for a second before nodding. "I… heard of how Emmeryn met her end. I didn't want to believe that it was a Deadlord, but…"

"Oh, it's a fuckin' Deadlord alright. Robin told me." I massaged my temples using my left hand. "If I'd said something before that point, Emmeryn could've been saved. Did you know that? She could've been saved, but I was too goddamn cowardly, like you said."

"It had to be more than cowardice," Lucina shook her head. "You know the future just as… just as Sir Alex did. Why? Why didn't you do anything?"

I struggled to come up with words at Lucina's pleading. Either that or having to give my reasons was a lot harder than I thought. "…I know the future. That future included Emmeryn's death. If she died as she was supposed to, I thought almost everyone, including me, was guaranteed to get out of this shitshow alive." I laughed humorlessly. "I was stupid, Lucina. Incredibly stupid. Whatever plot this world had was thrown out the window the minute that Deadlord came and took away Validar. I should've done something after that, but I was too scared. Too scared of shit changing, too scared of me being useless, I don't fucking know. What matters is what I didn't do. And because of that, Emmeryn died. In fact, I think I made things worse."

"How? How did you make things worse?" Lucina questioned pointedly. "I do not understand."

"Emmeryn's death was supposed to cause a high rate of desertion in the Plegian ranks," I explained. "It was after she gave a heartfelt speech. Instead, she just died. The Plegian ranks were stronger than ever. And because of that, Donnel…"

I choked up.

"…Sir Donnel's funeral is to be held in just a few days," Lucina said, looking down. "I do not know where you are intending to go, but you will certainly miss it if you don't go back."

I felt something snap.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure he'd like the person who inadvertently caused his death to visit his funeral. What a fantastic idea you have!" My voice raised. "Face it, I don't belong here. Do you understand? I'm trying to play hero in a world full of actual fucking heroes. I'm not a hero, and I never will be. The only thing that'll happen if I try is death and scars, like  _this_." I held up my iron hand. "The only thing I can do now is leave and never come back. All I'll do is make things worse."

"You're not running away because of that!" Lucina accused. "You're running away because you're scared, are you not? Just like you told me!"

"And maybe I am scared  _goddamnit!_  Does running away sound like something a hero, no, a decent fucking human being would do!?" I shouted, breathing heavily. "I'm a fucking nobody, a failure, Lucina! Look at me and tell me I'm not!" I pounded my iron arm against my chest, feeling a slight pain on my scars. "I'm not the person you knew in the future, and by the sounds of it, he's probably just as bad as me if he didn't tell you jack shit! Take a look around and try to find something that's been improved by my presence! All I can see is the bad shit; the motherfucking Deadlord, Donnel's death, Emmeryn's death, all of it!"

For the first time in the conversation, I looked Lucina in the eye.

"The only thing I can do now, is go home. Like you told me back in that God damned fort. I'm only doing what you asked me to, aren't I?"

"And so your solution is to just run away, is that it!?" Lucina spat, taking a step forward. "To just leave everything behind, like it never happened? Even in the future you carried scars, yet the Sir Alex I knew kept going forward! He stood by our side through it all, just to ensure we had a chance!" Lucina faltered slightly. "I realize now that he may not be who I once saw him as. Not informing me of when and where my aunt would die… It does not make his sacrifice any less meaningful to me. Running away will not solve your problems; those scars will follow you wherever you go. You can go back right now, and all of it would not have been for nothing."

"It's already for nothing," I retorted, turning around. "I'm done, Lucina. I don't care. Bye."

"Sir Alex, don't you dare-!"

The truth was, I still did care. I just shut it down like so many other things.

Lucina's hand landed on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. "Leave me alone."

"Do not give me that!" Lucina shouted. "You do care! And there are others who care for you! Your 'solution' will only hurt them!" Lucina paused for a second before continuing. "I know of someone who would want nothing more than to meet you, one last time. If you leave now, you'll never get to know them."

_She… She couldn't be implying…_

I pushed that thought down and continued on my way. "Goodbye, Lucina."

I had to give it to her, she tried several times. I didn't remember when she gave up, but it didn't matter. Ylisstol was only around a week and a half away from Warreth, if I traveled right. Just a short boat ride after that and I'd be home.

Finally home.

* * *

Travelling through Southern Ylisse in the height of Winter was a lot better than going through it in the zenith of Summer. It was a lot like how Tennesee was in the Winter, if I had to make a comparison. Sometimes it would snow, but most of the time it was just chilly. Good thing I'd brought a good sleeping bag and knew how to build a fire, otherwise I would've been fucked.

Even under the cloudless Winter night skies, I couldn't find respite. It always felt like something could go wrong at any moment. I'd brought a weapon with me, although I wasn't sure how my training would translate with my altered stance. My left hand wasn't my dominant hand, after all. Nonetheless, nothing of note happened. The wilderness at times was quiet. Almost too quiet, like if you dropped a pin onto the grass, you'd be able to hear it.

For all I knew, a remnant of the bandits that used to attack the Ylissean countryside could be lurking around, looking for lone travelers to rob and/or murder. None of that happened, though. I had dreams of it happening. Dreams of the battlefield, of the smell of iron in the air, of the sparks of clashing metal and the screams of the dead.

_They will never leave you, boy scout. No matter where you go or what you do, they will follow you. Just like the scars that cover your body._

In the end, it took me a little over a week to reach Warreth. I didn't know much about the city itself, other than it was Ylisse's major port city and main trade center. One of the few places that connected Ylisse to the neighboring continent of Valm. This made it very important in the grand scheme of things, and the sprawling urban terrain that I saw was proof of its worth and wealth. Finely crafted stone buildings lead down from a main hill, which held a towering fortress-like castle like a crown. To the south of it was an extensive dock that stretched into the gleaming blue water of the sea. I couldn't even count the amount of boats at that dock; I stopped at around fifty. Large galleons and agile sloops alike floated along the water. From where I was they looked as big as those models in bottles.

It was an extraordinary sight, and I would've liked to have explored it or learned more about it, but I was here for only one thing. I was going home.

I entered the city through the main gates, just a single person among the caravans and wagons that entered and exited the great gate. When I got inside, I got a better look at everything. The structure of the place wasn't precise; in fact, it was more like controlled chaos. From afar it looked more ordered, but that was a mistake. The streets had names but they had no consistency. It was all random, but somehow it worked. I didn't see many, or any, people getting lost in that labyrinth. Except for me a few times. I did get to see a great many people on the way to the docks. A black-haired woman wearing patchwork armor who looked to be from Chon'sin. A brute of a man with tanned skin walked my way, and I assumed he was from Ferox. Just as there were people who stood out, there were people who I couldn't identify at all.

_Warreth is a mixing pot, it seems._

I'd entered the city in the morning, trying my best to not let the cold bother me. However, it wasn't until late in the day that I finally got to the docks. It was an ordeal getting through the maze that was Warreth, but I managed. I'd be damned if anything was going to stop me.

I asked around, asking about any ships that'd be heading to the islands towards the south. It took a while, considering most of the people on the docks either didn't stop when I called for them, or if they did, they weren't very helpful. Eventually I did find directions to a ship in the corner of the harbor. I approached it just as the sun was starting to set.

_The Mulgrave._

I was unsure if the name plastered on the back had any significance, but I didn't really care. A tall and bulky man in a grey longcoat and matching tricorne hat. His brown face was covered in scars, giving off an intimidating and unapproachable vibe. I didn't have the patience to wait around for long, though, so I powered through my apprehension and walked up to him.

"Hey," I greeted curtly, pointing to the  _Mulgrave_. "That you're ship?"

The man turned to me slowly, studying me carefully for a few moments before nodding. "Aye," He replied. "That it is. Listen, if yer here to sign up, son, 'm 'fraid to say that-"

"Sign up? No, no. Hang on, lemme…" I interrupted him before I went rummaging in my bag. I had to store a lot of food in there, as well as water for the journey. Most of which was gone, so it was a  _really_ good thing I got to Warreth when I did. In other words, it was very spacious, and I was able to fit one more thing in it. A map of the continent, Archanea.

I pulled it out, flattening it on a nearby crate. The captain looked over my shoulder curiously. "Here." I pointed to an island to the south, the one that the game placed the Outrealm gate on. "Talked with a few people and they said your ship takes you to  _this_ island, right?"

"Whiteford Isle? Aye, we do. Trade with the small settlements on it. Is this goin' somewhere, son?"

"Yes, yes it is." I produced the bag of gold coins from my pocket, offering it to him. "I want you to take me there, as a passenger. Or is it stowaway? Nevermind. Will this be enough to get me there?"

The captain looked at my pouch, turned to his ship for a few seconds, before looking back at me. "I got no objections, son, even though there ain't much on that spit of land beyond where we be landin'. Not less yer all devout-like."

"I don't care," I brushed off, handing him the pouch. "I just wanna get there, and this is the only ship I've heard of that does."

"Suit yerself, son." The captain shrugged. "We shove away come the morn. Be there or we be goin' without ya."

* * *

I quickly learned I was not meant for boat rides, even comparatively small ones. It didn't take the  _Mulgrave_ longto sail to Whiteford Isle; a couple days to a week, at the most. A small amount of time compared to the weeks or months it could take to sail to Valm, is what I heard some of sailors say on the rare occasion I was above deck. It didn't make things much better, but it means I didn't have to suffer long.

Whiteford Isle, though. I didn't know much about it, and as I said, I didn't speak a lot during the voyage there. What I did know came from what little I could get out of the sailors when I was above deck. One of two islands belonging to Ylisse. Hot and dry, and mostly covered in plains. A few settlements, along with a ruling lord and monastery. Beyond that, it was the frontier; the absolute farthest familiar civilization stretched to.

_The perfect environment to place an interdimensional portal._

Once the  _Mulgrave_ made port, I left as soon as I was able to, without even saying anything. Our deal was over; I was where I needed to be, and the captain who I never learned the name of was a couple gold coins richer. I still kept a good portion of it with me, though. On the off chance the shit I'd gathered came with me, I might've been able to do something with it.

Not the best thought up plan I'd ever concocted, but did I ever have one of those?

The little port town I'd ended up in didn't have much. I asked around, but no one knew of anything called an 'Outrealm Gate'. They were wary of me, an outsider, but they were at least polite enough to give me straight answers.

"Ain't never heard of nothin' like that, mister. Best to ask elsewhere."

"Funny lookin' fella, huh? Nah, nothin' like that 'round here, boy."

"Best ya look elsewhere, outsider. Ain't nothin' like that 'round these parts."

I could feel the little flicker of hope in my chest begin to die out after what felt like hundreds of denials. Just when I thought I maybe should travel to the nearby monastery, I finally got what I wanted.

"Oh? Aye, seen some 'gate' before," A middle-aged man said, sitting down on a chair outside what I presumed to be his house. "Used to play around with it when I was just a little 'un. Made all these funny noises and sparks. Ain't been there in years, though."

"That's… Holy shit," I breathed out, a small smile spreading across my face. "Do you… do you know where it is?"

"Hah! Never forget somethin' like that!" He pointed forwards. I followed where he was pointing to see something in the distance. A rock formation, by the looks of it, jutting out of a cliff face and facing the sea. It was far away, but I could get there by nightfall if I started immediately. "Surprised that lil' place hasn't done fallen into the great blue abyss. Somethin' like that ain't natural, ya know? If yer goin' up to look at it, I'd be careful. Like I said, haven't been there in donkey's years!"

"I…I will be! Thank you!"

I set off immediately.

* * *

Whiteford Isle was temperate during the Winter months, apparently, making it arable almost all year round. I could see what the sailors were talking about when they said that. The air wasn't cool, but it wasn't uncomfortable as I made my way through the grasslands. The wind blew past me, pleasant all things considered but it did make walking through it a bit of a chore. The long grass whipped around my legs as I pushed onward, the stone precipice in sight.

I'd had a smile on my face the whole way there. Thoughts of home and other familiar feelings filled my mind. Hopefully, God-willing, in just a few minutes, I'd get to be there again. I'd be away from all the death, decay, and my horrible mistakes. I'd be free.

There was just one more small hill between me and what I assumed to be the Outrealm Gate. I nearly charged forward, ignoring the small burning in my legs as I felt the pinpricks of tears at the corner of my eyes.

I crested the hill.

My smile faltered.

_…What?_

There was only rubble. Like the ruins of a dead civilization, spread about were broken carved stones. Two stuck out of the ground like bones, clearly making up the beginning portions of what once was a gate of some sort. There was nothing anymore, though. Nothing except crushed stone and dirt.

It was as if the stones themselves were mocking me. The ground was blackened around where the gate once stood, like the fist of God himself had come down and smote out of existence, with only the stones that it used to be comprised of and the blackened ground being the only proof that it was there at all

For all I knew, the only way home in the entire world was gone long before I'd even arrived.

Slowly, my face curled into something unpleasant. My mind was blank but my body moved of its own accord. My legs could no longer support me, and I fell to my knees, just staring at what could've been the Outrealm gate. I felt tears start streaming down my face.

_…All of that, everything you left behind, truly gone…_

"This…" I couldn't tell if I was beginning to laugh or beginning to cry. "This… No, this is a joke. This is a fucking joke. There's no way… there's no way…  _There is no way in fucking hell!_ "

In one burst, my bottled emotions exploded. All of my frustrations, all of my anger rushed out of me like a tsunami. I slammed my fists into the ground, hearing the sound of metal and flesh striking the earth. I beat against the dirt several times, cursing my lungs out. My crying sounded like laughing as slowly curled into a ball on the ground.

" _You… I… I should've fucking known! I should've… God, you fucking idiot!_ " I screamed at myself. " _You… you fucking idiot…_ "

I'd never see any of my family again. I'd never see my house again. I'd never get to go to school again. I'd never get to celebrate another Fourth of July, never again. All by themselves they didn't seem so bad, but altogether the weight of them no longer existing finally crushed me.

" _…fuck… this…_ " I rasped in a voice I barely recognized as my own.

For a long while, I stayed there: curled up on the ground, mumbling to myself, amidst the ruins of my only way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...And that's a wrap on Act 1.
> 
> Would you believe me if I said that this story, in its drafting stage, was supposed to be wish-fulfillment?
> 
> That didn't last long.
> 
> And there we have it. Alex never had the option to go home. Not really, anyway. He's at his lowest point right now. Who knows how he'll get himself out of it?
> 
> Next week you'll see a different kind of chapter. Shorter than usual, but I'd like to think it'll flesh out the world a bit more and give a different perspective on things.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Anyway, see you guys next time!


	17. Xenologue: A Few Dead Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for something a little different...

* * *

 

**In Which Robin Thinks About Slapping Alex**

* * *

"Sumia,  _please_ ," Robin pleaded. "If there is  _anything_ you can tell me, do so. Something as innocuous as what he was reading just the other day could be important."

The soon-to-be queen of Ylisse shuffled her feet nervously as the tactician asked his questions. Robin, on the other hand, appeared completely calm, despite the gravity of the situation he'd found himself in. On the inside, though, he was deathly worried. Alex's letter was to blame. It read more like a  _suicide_ letter than anything else.

Thus, Robin began what he loosely called an investigation. He had to keep it inconspicuous, but after several days of nothing important coming up, that façade was slowly crumbling. Which led to his rather blunt line of questioning for Sumia.

Robin swore the moment he found Alex, he was going to smack some sense into him.

"I… apologize for Robin's bluntness, Sumia," Cordelia said, stepping forward. Robin had forgotten she was there. It wouldn't be the first time he'd forgotten someone important. "It's just that we're very worried. We've been looking for some time now. Please, is there anything you can tell us?"

Robin had intended to find Alex alone. It would be easier to keep things quiet that way. However, the red-haired Pegasus Knight next to him made it clear once she knew Alex was gone that she was coming along too. He supposed it wasn't too bad letting her help; she was sharp, maybe even sharper than him. It'd be foolish to refuse the help of someone so smart and earnest.

Robin had to be careful how much he let her know about what Alex told him, though. It was not that he didn't trust her. It was just… deeply personal.

Sumia played with the book in her hands before taking a deep breath. "I… He was in the library a few days ago. We were just talking when he said something about an 'Outrealm Gate'. He… looked really disappointed when I told him I didn't know anything about it."

"Outrealm Gate…?" Cordelia echoed.

Sumia nodded, frowning. "He was trying to read an encyclopedia about legends and myths. I remembered there was this one book series that had something called an Outrealm Gate as a plot point, but… not much else."

Robin rubbed his chin. "I've found something called an Outrealm Gate in my studies of Ylissean myths," Robin secretly enjoyed those more than his history and tactical studies. Something about myths and legends just seemed to call to him. "Supposedly a door leading to… other worlds… Hmm."

"Robin?" Cordelia turned to the white-haired tactician; confusion plastered over her face.

Robin said nothing for a few moments, before bowing. "Sorry to take your time, Sumia." He looked up. "I apologize for asking this of you, but could you keep this conversation private? I would appreciate it."

Robin knew Chrom. If Chrom thought one of his own was in danger, no matter the circumstances, he'd march to wherever they were and save them. It was one of the many admirable traits of the crown prince of Ylisse. Or should he say Exalt? No, Chrom had forsaken that title for the moment, even though he acted as the Exalt should.

Robin's heart ached. He ignored it. Especially when speaking with Sumia.

Sumia seemed unsure; her eyes darted around like a scared deer. "I-I have no problems with that, Robin. Although… Shouldn't I tell Chrom? Couldn't he help you?"

Robin imagined she would get better when it came to being pressed. No doubt she'd have to when she ascended to the position of queen. "This is, well, it's a rather personal matter. Besides, a small group of people could move faster than all of the Shepherds. In other words, we shall take care of it. Isn't that right, Cordelia?"

Cordelia stared at Robin suspiciously for a few moments before looking to her friend. "Yes, we shall. We will be back with Alex in less than a fortnight. If… If Prince Chrom asks, tell him we are travelling to confirm some rumors we have heard."

Sumia stood silent, before taking another deep breath and nodding. "If you think it is best. I trust both of you. I suppose I shall see you later."

Sumia walked down the hallway they'd met her in. Once she was out of earshot, Robin sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Robin, you know something I don't," Cordelia said, giving him a level stare. "Why would Alex want to travel to an Outrealm Gate of all places?"

Robin kept his expression neutral. He'd come up with a theory just a few moments prior. It was rough, he had to admit, but along with all of the information Alex had given him, it made a modicum of sense. Alex claimed to be from a country no one had ever heard of, with strange customs unlike those he'd seen or studied from other nations, along with a written language that made Ylissean Common look complicated in comparison. All of it painted a picture, one he was hesitant to tell anyone.

No matter Alex's true circumstances, he would not judge him.

"If what I think is true," He began. "then I will let Alex explain himself. Beyond that, I believe I know where he is travelling to."

Cordelia lightly scowled at Robin's deflection but put it aside for the moment. What mattered then was something entirely different. "…Fine. As long as we can find him. No matter where it is, I can fly us there."

Robin nodded, pulling out his trusty notebook and jotting a few notes down. "The Outrealm Gate has always been rumored to be on one of the southern isles. Whiteford Isle, if I remember correctly. There is not much there save for a few sparsely populated villages and a monastery. Everything we have learned points in that direction."

"Then we shall set out immediately," Cordelia concluded, walking past Robin. "I will be in the aeries. Grab what you need and meet me there."

Robin watched the prodigy walk briskly down the hallway, his mind adrift in a sea of thoughts. He hated having to hide things from Chrom of all people. But in this case, as in many others, he considered it necessary. Too many things were at stake. The Valmese invasion that was to arrive in just two years' time, the resurrection of the Fell God of Destruction, even something as small as a certain proposition from Chrom just a few nights prior.

It was better this way.

Robin sighed once more and walked to his room.

* * *

**Time and Place**

* * *

"Little lady, what you're asking is, frankly, out of the question," The innkeeper of the Little Light Inn drawled, looking down on the blue-haired princess in front of him. "That's, what, five rooms you're asking to rent out? Unless you're planning to break down the walls and build yourself a fort, you don't need that much."

"I understand that, sir," Lucina replied, her voice and stare level. "And it is not just for myself; my companions are to be meeting here within the hour, and I merely wish to accommodate them with room and board. I have gold, if that is your primary concern."

The innkeeper stared at her for a moment, before leaning a little over the counter. "Listen, the moment your friends or what have you come through that door-" He pointed in the direction of the door, the cold air blowing under it. "-I'll set you all up with anything you need. But I'm not about to let you rent rooms for ghosts, you hear me?"

Lucina sighed before bowing. "As you wish. We shall do it your way."

"Go and take a seat by the fire, if it pleases you," The innkeeper offered, nodding to the roaring fireplace nearby. "Get the cold out. Grawin Winters can be unforgiving if you're unprepared."

"So they are. Thank you," Lucina responded, sitting down in one of the well-worn chairs that surrounded the stone fireplace.

_So… This is what the Little Light Inn looked like, before it was burned…_

There was a reason she proposed the location to serve as their gathering point once they all arrived in the future. Her father, and all of his closest companions, stayed the night there just before they marched to their deaths. Sir Alex told of the singing and drinking that took place, everyone's hopes as high as they possibly could be. How were they to know that night was to be their last spot of merriment before the age of darkness that followed?

Of course, if she had anything to say about it, her father would never step foot in this inn.

Even so, she was glad she got to see it, and what's more, sleep in it. It, along with all of the western city of Grawin, was gone long before she came of age. She was scared all she would know of the place would come from Sir Alex's accounts.

_Sir Alex…_

The name produced mixed feelings. On the one hand, she would never forget his service and loyalty. The one she knew was with them until the bitter end, and had been fighting against Grima and his armies for as long as she and her friends were alive. On the other hand, it had been revealed to her that he was a liar of omission. He never spoke to her about how her aunt would die, even though she was certain he knew of it. The words of his present self merely cemented that notion. If only she had known, perhaps she could have prevented it.

The fire in front of her crackled as Lucina's blue eyes narrowed. A small feeling of betrayal forced its way through her heart. A single word echoed through her mind like someone's voice through an empty cavern: Why? Why would Sir Alex keep such a secret? He deigned to reveal his knowledge of the future, but it was apparent he only revealed so much. How much more did he keep from her? From her friends?

From his own child?

And then his present self. That was a contentious issue to Lucina. He had run away, back to his foreign and still unknown country. She remembered his retreating form, hunched over as if he carried a great burden, the stiffness of his iron hand all too familiar to her. The future she had tried to get him to avert had come to pass, and he was scarred once more. It was at his future self's suggestion, and at the suggestion of someone dear to her, that she try to make him flee when she first came to the past.

And she had failed at that; history had repeated itself. Lucina wished she had tried harder to get him to leave, while paradoxically wishing that she got him to stay. While her dear friend suggested it, they weren't nearly as heartless as they pretended to be. They wanted to see him again. With that knowledge, she tried to get him to stay, once she had her explanation.

It was a conundrum, and as she sat silently, the light of the fireplace highlighting her fair features, she felt regret.

Lucina was unsure how long she waited in the inn. It could have been as little as a few minutes or as long as a several hours. Nonetheless, once she snapped out of her reverie, she turned to the front door.

_…Not here yet._

She wondered how long it would take them all to arrive, if they arrived at all. Lucina was sure her directions were specific.

_Meet in the Little Light Inn on the 11_ _th_ _of February, 998 AS._

Most of Sir Alex's information had proven to be correct, withholding of some of it notwithstanding. He had assured them that the Second Plegian War was likely to end before that date, and he was right. Beyond that, he had assured her that all of her companions would arrive in the past before that time as well.

Lucina hoped Sir Alex's predictions of Laurent's…  _difficulties_  were untrue.

The door burst open, and a familiar, boisterous voice rang through the room.

"Greetings, my compatriots! The wielder of Missiletain and the bearer of the accursed Sword Hand has arrived!" Owain proclaimed loudly.

Despite herself, Lucina couldn't help but smile lightly.

* * *

**City of Gold**

* * *

Regna Ferox was always a cold country, even during the height of Summer. With it being February – the coldest month of the year for the entire continent of Archanea – the cloaked man's decision to travel through Southwest Ferox could not have been poorer.

It did not matter. What did matter was what he would find at the end of the long, cold road.

The bone-chilling air whipped around him as he stepped forward through several feet of snow and ice. Snowflakes fell from the cloudy sky, making his already poor eyesight worse. The sun was still in the sky, but the cloud cover made it all but moot. To any normal human, all of these factors would be crippling. They might have possibly survived for an hour at most, before succumbing to the harsh conditions. Thankfully for him, he was not like ordinary men. He was a mage, and he had the power to keep the cold at bay. For now. But like so many things, this did not matter to the hooded figure. He pushed forward, through the icy winds and the white mist that seemingly surrounded him. He would make it, even if it was the last thing he did.

He stumbled and, despite his determination just moments before, nearly collapsed and died then and there.

Then he heard their laughter. So clear in the freezing air. For a moment, he was no longer in southwest Ferox. Instead, he was within the halls of that damned college. One of the premier magical institutions in Ylisstol, they had called it when he'd entered so many years ago. And yet, they scoffed at his ideas. Made him an object of ridicule.

_You hope to find this, what, 'lost city'? You've lost your mind. Khadein is gone. If we haven't found it, what hope do you have?_  They jeered. Taunted.  _And you said something about the wondrous things to be found there. What sort of madman are you?_

_Khadein._

He had found the location of the City of Magic, thought to be lost long before the Schism. Before the Fell Dragon washed the land with blood and reshaped the very earth itself. The small amount of information he had of the city was vague but told of a great power that still lay hidden beneath what remained of it. According to the texts he'd found, the area used to be a desert. Combing the archives for years had not gone to waste. Of course, his colleagues believed differently.

And so, despite his ailing and aching body, amid the imaginary cruel laughter of what he used to call his friends and family, he got up. His bones creaked and his breath left his mouth with shaky gasps, painting the air in front of him a bright white. Just over the mountain range, he'd find it. He imagined what it'd look like. Towering cathedrals and spires, sparkling in the snow and sunlight like a city made of gold. And inside, the great power the texts spoke so reverently of.

It was with these images that he was able to push himself even further, through the near-impenetrable wall of frozen wind and snow that seemed determined to keep him from his objective.

In spite of all of this, he eventually pushed past these obstacles, and looked down into the mountain valley.

After a few moments of blank staring, the man laughed.

And laughed.

_And laughed._

Even with his awful eyesight, he could still make out structures in the snow. Khadein used to be surrounded by desert, but in the current age it was surrounded on all sides by cold and unforgiving jagged mountains that reached up to the sky like the teeth of a massive beast. Thus, from the outside, you would never see the ruined and toppled buildings that the cloaked man bore witness to.

He, at the very least, could make out spires, defiant against the wind that blew past it. The exhausted mage swore he could hear the wind itself screeching as it went past the largest one, in the center. It was clear, however, that most of Khadein was buried beneath the ground, with only the topmost structures still above the snowy ground. For over a thousand years, the City of Magic lied here, forgotten and abandoned. No records existed of it beyond a certain point, and through his explorations that man would find out why. However, his main obsession was with the power supposedly held within.

He gleefully fantasized what this power was. Immortality? Magical prowess beyond any seen by mortal men? The possibilities were truly endless.

All that mattered to him was that the power held within was enough to show his 'friends' the error of their ways. When he came back with the power of Khadein, he would show them. He would show them all how wrong it was to laugh at his ideas. To scoff at his notions. He would show them all what a mistake they made casting him off as if he was garbage. They would be in absolute awe of his terrible power.

The cloaked man threw his head back and laughed like a madman, causing his hood to fall off and allow his thinning grey hair to flail wildly in the wind. With crazed blue eyes, he smiled down at the ruins of the ancient city.

"At last…" His voice sounded like the grave; scratchy and deep, like a rat scurrying through stone corridors. "At last, I have found you! They shall all see once I return! They will rue the day they dared ridicule  _me_!"

With his chest feeling like a man twenty years younger, he nearly skipped down the mountain, the power of the City of Magic awaiting him.

* * *

**Dead Man's Land**

* * *

Gangrel was not dead. Not yet. That would change very soon.

He laid in a field of bodies, gazing up towards the blazing sky with glassy, fishlike eyes. His body was cold, like he'd spent all day napping in the tundra up north. The only warmth seemed to come from the puddle of blood that leaked out of the wound in his chest. The princeling had missed his heart by a scant few inches, it seemed, otherwise he would not even be thinking at that moment. Not that thinking had gotten him very far in his current state.

All around him were the reminders of his failure; bodies upon bodies, some Ylissean and Feroxi, but most Plegian. Face down in the ground or eyes staring up just like him, it didn't matter. Soon, he would join them. Others were about as lucky as he, judging from the moans he heard sometimes. It sounded as if an army of the dead were around him. Those noises slowly grew sparser, at the very least, leaving his ears alone.

Or perhaps they weren't going away. Maybe he was so close to death that he could no longer hear the world around him. What a boon that would be. To finally die as the failure he was. Surrounded by the men he'd promised the world to. Truly a fitting end for the likes of the Mad King himself.

Despite it all, Gangrel found himself chuckling. It hurt. It hurt more than when the princeling stabbed him with that sword of his, and yet he couldn't help himself. Blood seeped between his teeth as he gagged and giggled like the madman he was.

_The Mad King? Ha! More like the Corpse King. In the land of the dead, the man left alive is king, is he not?_

His mad giggles ended when he heard armored footsteps nearby. Perhaps his hearing wasn't as far gone as he'd thought. He couldn't move very well and twisting his head from side to side hurt more than the chuckling. Even then, he could tell it was getting closer. Whoever it was, they were a big dastard.

And what a big dastard he was.

Whatever he was, he was no ordinary man. He entered Gangrel's field of view, as if on purpose. At first, all the Mad King saw was the red light that came from his helmet. As he stepped forward, he could see more details. Black plate armor covered his entire body like the carapace of a giant beetle. A sword of silver held in his left hand, looking like a piece of the moon itself. Gangrel shivered just looking at it, which sent another jolt of pain through his body.

The armored man came up slowly until he stood in front of Gangrel.

Gangrel twitched at this. The armored man, no, the armored  _thing_ in front of him looked like one of those experiments Aversa had been working on before she disappeared from his castle. He'd planned on hanging her from the gates of Medlun when she was found, but that wasn't going to happen anymore. Nonetheless, the thing in front of him looked to be like those things. He couldn't remember what they were called, exactly. Was it Dreadlord, or Deadlord? Both titles suited the being in front of him.

Whatever it was, it  _growled_ at him.

"…Hah," Gangrel managed to bark out a laugh. "Are… you here to… gawk at the corpses…?" He coughed instead of chuckling. "You've come to… the right place… friend. The King of Corpses… himself lies… before you…"

The armored thing stood as still as a statue. For a moment, Gangrel believed it had been so shocked by him speaking that it couldn't even move. Then it hooked its sword to its back.

The next thing Gangrel knew, he was being held in the air by his throat. A hand as sturdy as iron and as cold as ice clasped around his neck like a vice. He spat out blood and spit as his hands gently pried for any leverage possible. His wound became aggravated, sending a wave of agony through his body so intense that he nearly blacked out.

The red eyes of the armored thing pierced through him, like it was studying every part of him. It growled and snarled as Gangrel feebly struggled in the air, like a rabid dog tearing apart its prey.

Time seemed to slow. Gangrel still attempted to get away. He was already dead; his wound had insured that. But to die like this, at the hand of whatever the armored thing was… Something in his head, something primal, demanded he not be toyed around with like he was. To get away and die like he was supposed to.

The armored thing did not care for this. And as if it could feel Gangrel's internal struggle, it began to shake.

It took him a few seconds to realize that it was laughing.

" **…Haaaaah…** " It breathed out after a moment. " **…Gaaaangrel…** "

The thing knew his name. Somehow that was the most frightening thing of all.

It looked as if it was struggling to speak. Its words felt wrong to his ears, like a bear with a human tongue.

" **Mad. King. Gangrel…** " It enunciated, its voice sounding like a desert wind. " **Here you are… in front of me now. If only it could have been… like this before.** " When the thing breathed in, it sounded like a dying man's last breath. " **But you will… not die this day. You do not get to die. Not yet.** "

The thing put him down but kept a firm grasp on his throat. It dragged him through the bloody battlefield like a sack of rotten potatoes, small chuckles escaping its helmet every so often. Actually, he couldn't tell if they were chuckles or sobs.

" **It is time… to pay your dues, Gangrel.** "

Slowly, Gangrel's vision became blurry, and soon enough he knew no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was different.
> 
> Props to DestructionDragon360 for giving the names to these wonderful little snippets, as well as betaing almost all my chapters. Go read her story 'Madly in Love' and "Heavy is the Head'. If you don't, the Deadlord will hunt you down and drag you away like poor Gangrel over there.
> 
> Yeah, it's a pretty bad day to be Gangrel right now.
> 
> Anyway, I hope this chapter gave some... insight? I guess. I certainly enjoyed writing it, even if it's smaller than usual.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	18. The Long Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Attempted Suicide. Be warned.

My feet felt like they were made of lead as I moved forward. All I heard was the sound of the crashing waves just ahead of me, and all I could see was the grey skies looming on the horizon.

I was done.

The precipice I was on was directly above the water. Once I got to the edge of it, I looked down to see jagged rocks and the roiling water below. Just one more step. Just one more step and everything would be over. I'd be gone. Everything would be gone. The shattered remains of the Outrealm Gate would be gone, the island would be gone, the world would be gone. I'd never see it again. I'd never feel again.

That didn't sound so bad. Not anymore.

Despite that, my legs didn't move.

I stood there on the edge of the precipice, looking down at the dark waters below me, not moving a muscle.

"…There's nothing left for you here," I grumbled out, my throat scratchy from all the crying and screaming I'd been doing.

My dirty legs still refused to move a single inch.

"This… This is what you deserve," I continued, stammering. "B-But, this is also the ticket to your salvation, you know?"

Nothing.

"You're a lucky motherfucker to have this opportunity. You know that," My tongue felt like a slug, making it harder to speak. That, and the rock that was slowly growing in my throat. "Just a few terrifying seconds in exchange for bliss. Now that's a fucking bargain."

My traitorous legs still betrayed me. I switched tactics.

"Don't think about it. Just do it," I said sternly. "Come on, you fucking pussy.  _You worthless sack of shit. Do it. Fucking do it. NOW!_ "

I cried out in frustration as my leg began to move, only to stumble backward. My back landed against one of the stones from the decimated Outrealm Gate, sending my entire body into a world of pain.

Laying there for a few seconds, my mind went completely blank. I let out a pathetic whimper and slammed my iron fist against the ground in futile anger. Finally, a single thought entered my mind.

_You're a fucking coward, boy scout._

I couldn't do it. I couldn't take out my sword and shove it through my chest. I couldn't plunge off the side of the cliff. No, I was too cowardly for all of that. Something always stopped me. Kept me from going through with it. It was infuriating. It would be so easy just to commit. To end it all.

And yet, despite everything telling me to, my body refused to do it. I was left there asking a single question.

Why?

Why was I still here? What purpose was I supposed to serve? All I'd done was make things worse. Everything I had done had made things objectively worse. It was my fault. I should take the plunge. To atone. For all my failures and mistakes.

Despite all of that, I couldn't do it.

"… _Fuck you_ ," I growled out, my face contorting into a scowl. "Can't even grow the balls to jump."

I got up, my legs still feeling incredibly heavy. I turned around and walked. I didn't really care where I ended up. How many places could you go to on a small island?

As long as it was away from the remains of the Outrealm Gate, it was better.

* * *

I found myself sitting under the balcony of one of the larger houses in the village I'd arrived in. A storm had blown in, if the grey clouds from earlier didn't clue me in. Lightning zigzagged across the sky, casting blue light across the landscape. Thunderclaps echoed in my ears. Heavy winds blew the boatloads of rain slightly to the side, making it look like I was sitting on a steep incline. It was disorientating, so I stopped looking forward.

Besides, my legs were far more interesting.

There I sat in the fetal position; my back propped against the wooden wall and my legs against my chest. I didn't know whose house I was leaning against, but I really didn't care. If they wanted me gone, all they'd have to do is brave the rain and lightning and try and shove the two-hundred-pound man off their property.

I scoffed.

At that moment, the thing I hated most was myself.

How was it possible to fuck up as badly as I did, to the point where I was hiding underneath someone's balcony? I had a bed with the Shepherds. I had friends. I threw that all away. For what? The  _chance_  to go home. I remembered I was so adamant to go home, and yet I don't think I even knew what that was anymore. Convincing myself that where I was wasn't home was stupid. So incredibly stupid.

And yet I left anyway, leaving everyone I'd known for the past nine months just because of that shot, because of my own weakness.

I shifted, hearing a small jingle in my backpack before another round of thunder blanketed the night.

Coins. I still had some coins. Getting back to the  _Mulgrave_ wouldn't be that difficult. I could pay the captain again. Spin some story about finding what I came for and all that.

I slumped down. Did I have any right to go back? After leaving the way I did? It was just like me to leave as cowardly as that. Cowardice. That is what it always came to. My cowardice always ruined everything. The Shepherds had no room for someone like that. I didn't deserve to consider myself one of them. I never had any right to. I was better off where I was.

To rot underneath the balcony, the lightning flashing across my vision and the rain and thunder flooding my ears.

I idly wondered if my iron hand would rust, or if it would be the only piece of me to remain.

"Uh… Hello, sir?" A voice said, just to my right.

I looked up, my expression dark. My eyes fell upon a boy, no older than his pre-teens by the looks of it. He wore simple clothing with tanned skin and dark brown hair. I couldn't shake the feeling that he was familiar somehow.

He gasped once he saw my face and began mumbling to himself.

"…What do you want, kid?" I grumbled out.

"You… It's you!" He whispered, a smile suddenly finding its way to his youthful face. "That soldier! The one who saved me!"

My face scrunched up for a second as the boy seemed to bound up to me, looking like a literal ray of sunshine in the murkiness of the world. I was perplexed, to say the least, but I remembered something. A name I'd heard months ago. Forgotten for the longest time

"…Jeremi…? You, your name is Jeremi, right?" I mumbled out, slowly relaxing.

"You remember! I knew you would! Hehe," he giggled, still smiling. "I, uh, I never got to hear your name, though. You left before you could say anything. I think you did, at least. I don't remember a lot about back then…"

A small, uncertain frown found its way to his face for a brief moment before returning to that warm smile from before.

"A-Anyway, I can't believe it's you! Nana said I'd probably never see you again, but I knew I would! Prayed to Naga every day, so I did! But… what're you doing out here, in the rain? It's a mighty big thunderstorm."

A suitably mighty crack of thunder washed over the buildings and made the wall behind me shake. I gave the kid a blank look once the ringing in my ears was gone. "So I've noticed."

"Eheh," He giggled nervously. "B-But seriously, what're you doing out here? Nana says if you stay out in the rain too long, you'll catch a cold!"

"…Honestly?" I blinked slowly, scouring my mind for the right words to use. "I… Well, I went looking for something, and it wasn't here. Now I'm a little… let's say I'm not in the best of ways right now, kid. It's been a helluva few months for me."

Jeremi looked confused for a few seconds before his gaze landed on my right hand. "Oh… Is that-?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I waved it around. "Got this around a month and a half ago," I looked at him seriously. "You should get home, kid. Like your Nana said, you'll catch a cold out in this weather."

Jeremi sputtered. "B-But what about you!?"

"What  _about_ me?" I echoed.

"I-I can't just leave you like this! Not after what you did for me and Nana!" He claimed passionately. "Come on, let me help you up! We'll go to Nana's house!"

Jeremi stretched his small hand out to me. I stared at it hollowly for a few moments, my mind as blank as my expression.

I sighed.

"…Fine." I took his hand and picked myself up off the ground.

* * *

The rain continued to pour on the battered seaside town as Jeremi and I ran through the dirt streets. Well, he ran. I briskly walked. The kid was made of sturdy stuff, I'd give him that. Not only did he find me out in the typhoon that the storm was becoming, but it didn't even look like he was affected by it as we continued onward. Eventually, we came upon a small, but charming house somewhere on the edge of the town. Since Whiteford Isle didn't have many trees, most of the houses were built out of grey stone and thatch.

Jeremi got up to the door, the only part made of any kind of wood, and began knocking on it harshly. Wasn't as loud as the thunder and wind that surrounded us.

"Nana! Nana! Let us in! I brought somebody!" Jeremi shouted. "Come on, I know you hear me!"

The door opened, showing another familiar face. A young woman in her mid-twenties, with the same distinctive features of Jeremi. A scowl was on her face as she regarded Jeremi.

"Jeremi, what in Naga's name are you doing out there!?" She seethed, ushering him in, much to his chagrin. "I could have sworn I boarded your damn window shut-!"

She stopped once she saw me, her eyes widening to the size of dinner plates.

"…Oh gods, it's you!" She nearly screamed. "What're you doing out there!? You come in too!"

I felt like a passenger in my own body as I was ushered in along with Jeremi. The house had a small hallway with a few doorways to rooms. Cozy. A gentle and warm light from a few candles around the house almost made me sleepy.

"Gods, both of you are soaked!" The young woman groused. "Jeremi, you go put on something more appropriate. You… How about you and I sit over here?"

She gestured to a room with an old oaken table and chairs that faced away from where Jeremi was walking towards with a pout on his face.

I took a deep breath, scratching my chin. The feeling of my unshaven skin felt like sandpaper to my remaining real hand. I did as the woman said and sat down, soaked to the bone. I'd need to amend that later. When I was alone, of course.

"Ah, that's better." She sat in front of me. "Was about to go to bed myself before I saw Jeremi was gone. I swear, that child goes wherever he wants, no matter what I do… Of course, it's because of you he's even here."

I narrowed my eyes. "I'm surprised you guys remember me. You don't even know my name."

The woman looked at me strangely. "I think I'd remember the face of the man who rescued my nephew. Although you're right; I don't know your name."

"For what it's worth, the name's Alex," I said, trying to keep my voice level despite its scratchiness. "…I'd ask if I could change, but I don't think you have any spare clothes."

"Well, it's not every day we get visitors," The woman remarked. "My name is Katherine, by the way. I'd give you a change of clothes if I could, but, well… Yeah, it's been a little rough since coming back here."

"Katherine…" I enunciated. "I… wouldn't ask you for that anyway. Don't understand why you'd offer."

"Why wouldn't I?" She replied, leaning forward. "You saved Jeremi's life. The kids been idolizing the 'shining soldier' that got him out of the village since I took him in. He's… got a lot more life in him since then."

I looked down. This conversation was a helpful distraction from my own thoughts, so I felt the need to keep it going as long as possible.

I titled my head back up. "What're you guys doing all the way out here, anyway? Last time I saw you, you all were in the mountains of Ferox."

"Pfft,  _Ferox_ ," Katherine spat, looking away. "A whole country of warriors and they couldn't protect my sister's village. Bunch of bandits is what they are." She turned back to me. "Was just visiting my sister when those dastards attacked. When the time came to leave, I took Jeremi with me. I've actually lived in this hovel for around… oh, ten years or so? Whiteford is very disconnected from the world, and very far away from most of my family. Until now, at least." She sighed. "I'm not sure if that's helped Jeremi, though. He's always been a quiet child, and there aren't many kids his age around here. The only thing that gets him talking is you, really."

I narrowed my eyes. "…Fuck, I'm not someone he should be looking up to like that."

"And why not?" Katherine asked pointedly, raising a brow. "You went into that burning village and brought him out all by your lonesome. You're a hero to that boy."

It felt like my blood froze.

"Don't call me that," I grunted, raising my right hand and placing it on the table. "I don't deserve to be called that."

Her eyes focused on the iron prosthetic on the table like I'd just dropped a dead rabbit on it. She then looked back up to me with sympathy in her eyes.

"…War wounds?" She whispered.

"Yes." I nodded. I tilted my chin up a bit, showing the scar going across my throat. "Bet you were wondering why I sound so different, huh?"

Katherine winced at my injuries, something I was growing used to. That, and life without my right hand. Still had trouble trying to pick things up with it. The fact that the weight of a hand was there didn't help me thinking I could still control it at will.

"…Regardless of what you think, that boy still idolizes you. I doubt you could do anything to change that," Katherine said, leaning back and folding her arms over her chest. "And if you do something to  _try_  and change that, well, I'll let you know just how bad an idea that is."

I looked down at the wooden table, studying every grain and small crack. Despite my vehemence from earlier, I wouldn't dare try. I'd let Jeremi believe what he wanted. Even if it wasn't true.

I shook my head. "You don't have to worry about that, Katherine," I rasped, dragging my iron hand back below the table. "I'd never do anything to hurt that boy."

Katherine nodded, her expression softening. "Good." She looked me over for a moment. "I know I've said this before, but you look a little… raggedy. Do you have a place to stay?"

_You do. The ship is still in-port._

I rubbed the back of my neck. "I… No, not really. Jeremi actually found me underneath a balcony, so…"

Katherine smiled. "You can stay here, if you like. Don't like holding debts, so might as well pay it now."

I looked up. "A-Are you sure?"

"Jeremi'd like it," She said simply. "And you really wouldn't be much of a bother. Hope you wouldn't mind helping out a little though."

On the contrary, it seemed ideal.

* * *

In the days that followed, I tried to keep myself busy. Jeremi was a big help in that; the kid was a veritably endless supply of distractions. He'd ask a lot of inane questions, but whenever they hit too close to home, I'd deflect. That worked for a little while, but eventually the well dried up, so to speak. He still followed me everywhere, but it was with this kind of… contentment. He was satiated.

Which left me with precious little. Comfortable silence was no longer a thing for me.

Therefore, I took to the town. Getting things Katherine needed like food or materials, things like that. The coastal village wasn't a big place, but it was big enough that you could get lost in it if you weren't careful. The people seemed to be growing accustomed to my presence, thankfully. They no longer gave me the eye when I walked past, although some still noticed my scars. They were polite enough not to talk to me about them, at least.

Life seemed to go by in a blur. A small hint of normalcy returned to me, like an old friend. It was a nice, if unfulfilling, feeling.

That changed the minute I saw  _them_.

I was walking through the village. On that day, it wasn't for any particular reason; I just wanted to have a walk. Katherine didn't need help with anything, and Jeremi was still asleep. The early hours of the morning on Whiteford Isle were always pleasant, the perfect time for a walk. Not too many people, either.

I saw them, down the street, talking to somebody.

They were unmistakable. A robed, white-haired man I knew to be Robin, and a red-headed woman wearing a white tunic and brown pants. The first time I'd seen Cordelia in casual clothing.

I stopped in my tracks. All I heard was the pounding of my heart in my ears.

_…Oh shit._

Before I turned away, I saw Robin look in my direction.

_OH FUCK._

I ran. I ran and I didn't look back. Hearing them shout my name as I ducked into another street almost made me stop again, but I powered through it and kept going. My expression was grim as I pushed through the dirt streets, going in random directions to evade them. Since there were so few people about, I couldn't use a crowd to lose them, so I settled for running as fast as I could for as long as possible.

It was a while before I felt the strain on my legs. I hadn't marched in a while, but I was far from out-of-shape anymore. Impressively. I was able to sprint for several minutes before I stopped in a corner between two houses, away from the main road.

Deep breaths in and out. In and out. I looked out to the main street as I backed away from it. Couldn't hear them anymore, but that didn't mean they were off my tail yet. After a quick breather, I turned around to continue fleeing.

"Going somewhere?" He said, arms crossed as he stared me down with those red eyes.

I yelped, turning around instantly to try and get away from the tactician. Unfortunately, Cordelia was right behind me, her face twisted with worry and frustration.

"Why did you run, Alex?" She asked pointedly. "We've been looking for you everywhere!"

I backed up until my back hit the stone wall of one of the houses. Looking from side to side and seeing no escape, I slid down. My breath came out in short, ragged gasps as they both converged on me.

"Alex," Robin began, his voice level. "I- We just want to talk. About… all of this."

"Talk?  _Talk?_ " I parroted, breathing heavily and looking up. "Like that's accomplished a whole lot. Why the fuck did you guys come after me? I left a note, for God's sake!"

"Ah yes, this one," He pulled it out of his coat's inner pocket. When he did, Cordelia's expression soured. "You do know how this reads, correct? ' _To whom it may concern. On this day, I go on to greener pastures. Do not weep for me, friends, for I am finally free._ ' Alex, this reads like a suicide note!"

I cringed at my own flowery speech. Ylissean Common was never going to be my strong point, but I'd hoped that my note would be good enough to get my point across. As the memories of me standing on the edge of the precipice crossed my mind, I began to think it did. In a twisted way.

"And we came to find you because you're our  _friend_ , Alex," Cordelia answered, stepping forward. "I don't know why you decided to come here to find an  _Outrealm Gate_ of all things but believe me when I say that I will listen to you! You didn't have to do all of this!"

Guilt pierced my chest as I looked into Cordelia's eyes. I buried my face in my one good hand, trying to formulate words.

"…I just wanted to go home," I whispered out. I felt pinpricks at the corners of my eyes. "Fucking… Look at me! Look at my hand! The damage! I couldn't… I couldn't take it, alright!? Donnel died because of me, and when I lost control, I got this!" I waved my iron hand around frantically. "All of this… All of this shit is my fault, don't you get it? It's my fault. So I tried to remove myself from the equation. But… But the damn Gate's already gone. Destroyed. Who the fuck cares? It'd be better off if I did as the note implied."

Cordelia gasped as Robin stepped forward. "How in the gods' names can you say that and look me in the eye? After everything we have been through? Do you honestly believe that everything would be better without you? If you really believe  _everything_ is your fault, then you are more delusional than I thought. Do you think Donnel would have wanted this?"

When he said that, my mind went blank. Before I was even aware of it myself, I was on my feet and shouting. " _Don't you dare say his name!_  How dare you. How  _fucking_ dare you! You have no idea what he would've wanted! You're not the one who carried his lifeless body back to camp! You're not the one responsible for his death-!"

I didn't get to complete my sentence.

A dull 'thwack' resounded as my head was forced to the side. My cheek stung like a motherfucker. Slowly, I turned my head back, my eyes as wide as a deer caught in headlights. Robin glared at me furiously, his lips in a thin line.

"When are you going to realize that you  _are not that important!_ " He seethed, his voice raising steadily as he continued.

" _Robin!_ " Cordelia hissed, grabbing the tactician's shoulder. "What are you-!"

"No, he is going to hear what I have to say. Whether he wishes to or not!" Robin said, shaking off her hand and marching back up to me. My mind was blank, like an unpainted canvas.

"Listen to me, Alex," He began. "You should have been with Donnel.  _I_ should have been with Donnel.  _Vaike should have been with Donnel!_  Everyone should have been with Donnel! You cannot blame yourself for perceived wrongs when you have done none! Look at me, Naga take you!" He grabbed me by the lapels of my tunic. "And all of those other factors you think to be  _your fault?_  They had nothing to do with you. Things could be the same whether you were here or not. And Emmeryn? I have done some thinking, and you know what I have theorized?" He let go of me. "She would have died no matter what we did. If she knew of her oncoming demise, she would not have cared. She would have marched straight to those broken down doors of Castle Ylisse and rebuilt the entire city if she could."

His words went straight to my core. My legs felt shaky, and I fell to my knees.

Robin looked down on me. "I have had it up to  _here_ with your nonsense. Either you re-evaluate your position in the grand scheme of things or sit there and continue to wallow in your own misery." He looked to Cordelia, whose face was almost scary to behold while she was staring at Robin. "We leave tomorrow morning. We've already been gone long enough as is. If he doesn't come, we go without him."

Robin walked away. His footsteps seemed to echo until he left entirely.

My mind was like a storm. But even through it, I was sure of one thing.

Robin was right. Completely and utterly right.

It wasn't until it was all laid out for me that I finally realized it. Despite my constant assertions to the contrary, I thought of myself as important. But not in a good way, not in the usual way. Everything wrong that happened I simply attributed to my own flaws. To myself. There were some things that were different, yes, but how much of it was truly  _my_ fault? My responsibility?

I was not as important as I thought. Donnel's death, Emmeryn's death… I had been selfish. Stupid. How much of it had affected everyone else? Chrom? Robin? Cordelia?

In the end, it was war. People died in war. There was no reason to attribute everything to myself.

I was just too self-centered to see that.

I felt two hands grab me by the shoulders gently and pull me up. Not offering much resistance, I looked back up to see Cordelia, her brows furrowed as she held me up.

"Hey," She said softly. "Are you alright?"

I blinked, before chuckling hollowly. "No… No, not really." I looked down. "I've… I've just realized how much of an asshole I've been. How self-centered and shit I've been. I… Fuck, man. I never even  _thought_ …"

"…Much as I am loathe to admit it, Robin was not wrong," Cordelia said, her voice still soft yet a bit stern. "But that does not mean you cannot improve. Don't let it be this way!"

"I-I won't, but…" I sighed, my shoulders slumping. "…Do you know the entire reason I did all of this? Join the Shepherds and fight in a war?" Cordelia shook her head. "I want… I wanted to be like those guys in the stories, the legends and shit. I think I just… Yeah, I wanted to be a hero. The kinda guy kids look up to." Jeremi came to mind. "But, honestly, I don't think I'll ever be like that. I'm not a hero. I'm just… I'm just me. I'm all I've got.

"I'm not very impressive. I'm… I'm just me. I could be better. I could be so much better, couldn't I?" I felt it. The dam was breaking again. Was Cordelia getting closer? "It… It took me this long to figure that out. All of this time wasted and I didn't even-!"

I didn't know what happened at first; all I felt was arms circling around my neck, and someone pressing against me. An overwhelming sense of warmth pervaded me, as the smell of cherries floated up to my nose. It took me a moment to realize that it was Cordelia. Her long red hair looked ethereal as my eyes widened.

"Wha-"

"You've been holding it in for a while, haven't you?" She whispered. "Go ahead. I'm here."

Despite her saying that, I still tried to keep it in. Tried.

It was only a second or two later that I returned the embrace; wrapping my arms around her lean body, with my tears soaking into her collar. I melted into her frame, shuddering in her grasp like she was the only thing keeping me from completely falling.

With my face buried in her shoulder, I couldn't keep myself standing. Slowly, we both fell to our knees.

I wasn't sure how long we were there, in each other's arms. No matter what, it would be forever burned into my memory.

A part of me never wanted it to end.

* * *

I was going to leave with them. That decision came pretty easily. There was no way to go home, and back in Ylisstol… Back in Ylisstol, I had friends. People I could rely on. I had Cordelia and Robin. Gaius and Vaike. Sully and Frederick. All of them. And I'd just left them like the past nine months didn't happen. Even if it was only to go back and apologize, I'd do it. There was nothing left for me on Whiteford Isle, or really anywhere else.

And all it took for me to realize all the things I'd been missing was a good slap in the face courtesy of Robin.

That would probably make a good story one day.

But before I left Whiteford, I had one more thing to do.

After Cordelia and I… well, went our separate ways – after she told me where we'd be meeting the next morning – I went back to Katherine and Jeremi's house.

"So… that's basically it," I finished explaining, shrugging. "Thank you for letting me stay here while I was going through my, er,  _episode_. Or whatever the hell you wanna call it."

Katherine looked at me, her expression unreadable, before she burst into laughter. After a few moments, she calmed down, a tear streaming down her cheek. "Hehe, no problem. It was the least I could do for what you did for Jeremi. You're welcome back anytime, Alex."

I nodded, smiling a little. "Heh, thanks. What was so funny?"

"Just the way you walked before you came back," She began. "Before you left this morning, you had this way to your walk, like your feet were weighing you down or something. Now? Standing tall like a soldier! Almost didn't recognize you!"

I blinked. Never even knew she was so good at reading people.

I spent one last night in their house. That morning, before we were supposed to leave, I left the house with my old bag. All my old belongings were still inside; my phone, my Psychology textbook, the old binder, and my wallet.

It may've been drastic to do what I was about to, but if I didn't, I did not think I'd be able to let go completely. The Outrealm Gate was gone; there was no way home. What use did they serve other than to dredge up all of those unpleasant thoughts?

With that in mind, I made my way to the docks.

It was a straight path to it, and I arrived only about thirty minutes after I'd left. The ocean was a calm greyish-blue, the waves lapping up the wooden posts keeping the docks up. I looked down into the water, taking a deep breath.

Placing my bag down, I carefully, almost reverently, opened it. The first thing I took out was my Psychology textbook. Using my iron hand, I flipped through the pages. None of the little I read made sense to me.

"…You know, I always hated this class," I remarked to myself. "I don't think I'll miss you."

I tossed it into the ocean.

The next thing I took out was my old binder and wallet. The binder was easy enough to throw away; I threw it in almost carelessly. Luckily for this world, I didn't think those things would do much damage to the ecology. How many plastics did they make around there? My guess was somewhere between zero and zero.

My wallet was a bit more difficult, though. All of my personal identification was still in it. Even my social security number, which I'd neglected to take out like my dad had told me to. My old Learner's Permit was in there as well, and the face of my eighteen-year-old self stared listlessly up at me.

I looked nothing like I did in the picture anymore.

_It's not you. Not anymore._

After a few more seconds, I threw wallet, and the last picture of me I'd ever see, into the water.

And last, but not least, my phone.

At first, I tried to pick it up with my right hand. Grunting, I reached for it a second time with my left hand. I held it up, studying it one final time.

It was still the same as it was all those months ago. Predictably, pressing the power button did nothing. And it never would again.

_I'll see you when I get home._

I admit, I hesitated. My phone was the biggest link to where I came from. In the end though, I did the same thing I did to the rest of my old belongings. My fingers creaked like an an unoiled door frame. The splash as it hit the water rang in my ears hollowly. It sunk into the blue abyss, never to be seen again.

_Goodbye, everyone._

It was the hardest one to let go, and I took a few deep breaths before I picked my bag back up. The bag was from my old world too, but it still had a practical use, at least. I could've been making excuses, but either way, I was keeping it.

I closed my eyes, took one last breath, and turned. I had places I needed to be.

* * *

The meeting spot was just a small distance from the village. From where I was, I could see Cordelia and Robin standing around expectantly. Once Cordelia spotted me, she smiled. I felt myself grinning in response, and… something small fluttered in my chest. It was strange, but I ignored it. Robin regarded me neutrally. Once I was there, we stared at each other awkwardly.

"Robin," I greeted, my lips thin.

"Alex," He replied, watching me.

I needed to do something,  _anything_ , to cut through the tension.

Just as Cordelia was about to say something, I made my move. Rubbing the back of my neck, I gave Robin a sideways gaze. "You have one mean slap, you know that, right?"

His eyes widened ever so slightly. Then he rubbed his temples, chuckling lightly. "Ha! Yes, well, I have not slapped many people, so I suppose I shall take your word for it." He turned to Cordelia. "Is everything ready with the captain?"

Cordelia nodded. "Yes; we'll be setting sail within the hour." She looked at me, a soft smile still on her lips. "I'm glad you decided to join us, Alex."

I coughed. "Yeah, well, I guess from the word 'captain' that you guys got here by boat?"

"A Pegasus can fly fast and far, but it cannot cross the ocean," Cordelia informed me helpfully. "Which…" She frowned. "Which, yes, unfortunately means we will need to take a boat."

I felt like throwing up then and there. "…I still don't have my sea legs. Are you sure we can't just spend the rest of our lives here?"

"You and I both know Chrom would send a search party within the moon," Robin said, crossing his arms and grinning. "So we will need to say goodbye to this  _paradise_  you decided to drag us to."

"Ah yes, I'll miss this place," I said in a pseudo-nostalgic way. "It only rained once here. This place was supposed to be dry; where the fuck did that come from?"

"Either way, we shall not be here for much longer," Cordelia said, a small bit of relief in her voice. "Now, we should get going before the captain thinks we-"

"Wait!"

That was a voice I recognized. A young voice from a certain kid I'd spent the better part of the week getting grilled by. I turned around to see him bounding up to us. Katherine was behind him, and when I gave her a questioning look, she shrugged.

Without warning, Jeremi ran up and hugged me, his arms going around my waist as far as they could. I had to admit, the kid had a lot force behind that tiny body of his.

"…Friends of yours?" Robin questioned, walking up beside me.

"You could say that," I replied.

"Ha! Friends!" Katherine barked. "This big lug's been with me the past few days. Until I guess you guys came along. Jeremi over there… Well, he just wanted to say one last goodbye to his idol. Who was I to say no to that?"

Jeremi sniffled, before loosening his grip and looking up at me with teary eyes. "W-Will I ever see you again, Alex?"

 _Goddamn that is a powerful look_.

I almost slammed my iron hand on the kid's fucking head out of reflex. Realizing it before it happened and avoiding a tragedy, I used my left hand. Ruffling the kid's hair comfortingly, I gave him a smile. A genuine one, this time.

"Yeah," I replied. It could've been a lie, but I was feeling optimistic. "Yeah, kid, we will. You can bet on it."

Jeremi was silent for a minute before letting go completely. "O-Okay, good. Good- No, I'll see you later!"

A tug on my tunic from Cordelia, with a pointed look that screamed 'I want to hear this story later' on her face, and I was moving back away from the village. Back to Ylisstol. I was strangely excited.

"Yeah, see ya later, kid!" I said once we were a good distance away. "Take care of your aunt!"

Even from where I was, I could hear Katherine's scoff.

And with that, I left them behind. Oddly enough, it felt a lot like when I left Ylisstol over a month ago.

It felt like I was going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to slap Alex myself throughout most of the first part of this chapter. Don't worry guys. My friends and I wanted it too.
> 
> So yeah, bet you guys weren't expecting something actually wholesome to come out of all this? I can just imagine your faces.
> 
> Because let's be real, the fact Cordelia didn't burst into flames the minute she touched Alex is a fucking miracle.
> 
> Anyway, got nothing else to say, really, except to thank my good friends Narwhal Lord, DestructionDragon360, and Seafra Yeager for providing a shit ton of feedback throughout most of this fic's run. Here's to another three months, ya bastards.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Hope ya'll enjoyed!


	19. Promise

_Was there any such thing as home? And if so, how did you define it?_

_I couldn't help but question myself as I looked at my friends and family, standing in front of me like terracotta soldiers. They were enveloped in darkness, almost like they were being consumed by the very air itself. I felt a tug in my chest, and something told me to go forward. To join them no matter the cost._

_I didn't move forward. What point was there? If I turned around, I would never see them again. Somehow, that seemed preferable. There was no guarantee I'd ever see them again. However, the people behind me… I was going to see them again._

_Despite my feelings, I raised a hand, my right hand, out to the people in front of me. My mom and dad. My sister. My friends. The hand that reached out to them was of flesh and blood. Still useable. But I knew it wasn't true. My injuries would follow me everywhere._

_In the end, seeing that was the final straw. I lowered my hand, my face set into a grim expression before I turned around._

_They were covered in light. My new friends. My new family. They were inviting, friendly, homely. Home. Once I saw them, walking forwards was easy. No tug on my chest, no nagging inclination to move forward. Instead, it was like an embrace; warm and comfortable. I could keep going forever._

_I raised my right hand again. It was made of metal and bolts._

_In a single instant, they were gone._

_All around me, a battle raged. Bathed in crimson light, bodies lined the ground in piles. Butchered and bleeding. Broken and twisted. The red rain flowed through the sky and trampled the grass._

_Someone moved, cutting through moving corpses like a lawnmower through grass. Red liquid splashed against the ground with each slash. He stabbed a soldier through the chest and tore it out their side, nearly bisecting the poor bastard._

_The person, no, the thing turned to me. Even through the ungodly red, I could recognize the face._

_It was my own._

_It charged at me, cutting through several soldiers on its way before it swung its sword, aiming for my neck._

_It never hit. Before the monster could finish me in a single motion, a roar shook the very earth itself. The armored monster stopped and gawked with me as a great being, a God, tore its way through the ground. The earth split and cracked, until the great draconic face pushed its way through._

_In the face of such terrible power, what was I? I was an ant. A dust mite. Not something worth considering. How dare I believe I had such hold over the world when things like the being in front of me existed? The terrifying pressure made me shiver as its body shoved its way through the stained ground. Another roar, deafening to my ears. The very bones of the land seemed to quake at the tremendous power shown by that action alone._

_Its six red eyes focused on me, ignoring the invisible being next to me._

_NO WAY TO RUN. HAVE TO FIGHT BACK. FIGHT BACK. FIGHT._

_**MY TURN.** _

* * *

"…Hey, Alex." I felt somebody gently shaking me awake. I opened my eyes wide and shot up, nearly headbutting the person next to me. They took a step back, concern etched into their features. It took me a second to realize it was Cordelia. "You were shaking. Were you having a nightmare?"

In my confusion, I nearly slammed the stump where my right hand was into my face. I winced as the image of me actually doing with the iron hand still on crossed my mind. Thankfully, I caught myself and rubbed the side of my nose with my left hand. One day, it was going to happen, and I was going to be in a world of pain. Not that day, though.

"I…" I swallowed, turning to her. "I guess you could say that. Nothing new." I shook my head. "A-Anyway, are we finally in Warreth?"

Cordelia looked like she'd press for an actual answer from me, but after a moment she sighed. "Yes. We arrived just a small while ago. Robin wants us both on deck, ready to leave. He… appears to be in a big rush."

I got up, thanking the Lord that I decided to go to sleep fully clothed. I grabbed the metal hand at my side. "Well, if I were him, I'd want to go back to Ylisstol too, after chasing me for God knows how many miles. Surprised you aren't complaining yourself."

"It's not that." Cordelia shook her head. "I believe Prince Chrom had something in mind for him, although he would not reveal much more to me."

Seeing her slight frown at saying Chrom's name made me feel… well, angry wasn't the right word, but it was pretty close.

"Anyway!" Cordelia said a little too enthusiastically. "I believe we should go. Do you have everything?"

Looking at her blankly from the mood whiplash for a second, I nodded. I began strapping my hand on. "Yeah. Yeah, just gimme a minute and I'll be there."

True to my word, I was above deck a few minutes later. I saw Cordelia and Robin waiting for me. Robin was leaning on the side of the ship, looking at the confusing city of Warreth. I could still remember the day I spent there; absolutely disorientating and stressful. It was beautiful in its own right, but I didn't think I'd want to live there. I'd have a hard time getting anywhere. Cordelia was still not wearing her armor, which was still throwing me for a loop. She was looking up at the sky. At the sunrise specifically. The way the light seemed to highlight all of her great features…

I coughed as I approached.

Robin and Cordelia snapped out of their reverie. Robin nodded. "Good, you are awake. I was beginning to suspect we would have to upend the entire ship just to wake you."

"Christ, Robin," I replied, adjusting the fingers on my iron hand. "I'm not  _that_ heavy a sleeper, right Cordy?"

"Well…" Cordelia didn't look me in the eye. Her lips were quirked up in a small smile. "It did take me a few minutes to get you to wake up. Even though it seemed your sleep was far from the most restful."

I put my metal hand to my heart dramatically. "So this is what  _betrayal_  feels like. And here I was thinking you had my back. We were supposed to fight the evil tactician together!"

Robin looked unimpressed while Cordelia giggled. "Ha! I'm sorry, Alex, but I cannot argue with facts! It's not such a bad trait to have if you can properly manage it."

"Why am I the evil one in this scenario?" Robin asked, seeming genuinely offended. "I am the one who- Gah, never mind." He shook his head, but I could still see a slight smile on his face. "If we get your Pegasus, Cordelia, we could be in Ylisstol within a few days. I do not know much about Pegasi, however. Can one hold all three of us?"

"…Loathe as I am to admit it, doubtful," Cordelia replied, crossing her arms. "Pegasi can hold two people. The saddle is eve designed to accommodate a single passenger if necessary. However, having three people… not only would she be unable to lift off, the saddle wouldn't have enough room." She closed her eyes and sighed. "Which means we will have to travel on foot. Unless one of us wishes to walk while the other two take the Pegasus."

"Hmm." Robin raised a hand to his chin. "You would obviously need to take her; you're the only one who knows how to ride a Pegasus. However…" He became silent for a few moments. "I would like for us to remain together, so we will need to travel on foot. Cordelia, Alex and I will head towards the main gate. You should get your Pegasus and meet us there."

Cordelia nodded. "Understood. See you there."

I watched Cordelia as she left. Then, I turned to Robin. "Hey, I've got a-"

"Wait a moment." He held up his hand, walking past me. "The ship's captain has already been paid, so let us walk as we talk. We will move faster that way."

Sputtering indignantly, I followed him off the ship. The docks of Warreth were as crowded and alive as when I saw them last. Not unexpected, but it did make me feel just as uncomfortable. Robin didn't seem to be faring any better, if his quick pace meant anything. Soon enough, though, we were out on the streets. Supposed to be heading in the direction of the main gate, but considering Warreth's confusing layout, who knows how long it'd take to get there. Or if we were even heading in the right direction.

Robin let out a deep breath once the street thinned out a bit. "Thank the Gods. Crowds are not my element. Now," He turned his head to me. "There was something you were going to ask me. What was it?"

I played around with my iron hand; clicking the fingers back and forth. Even began counting my steps. "I wanted to ask you, uh… about how much Cordy knows. Does she…?"

Robin narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "She does not. Don't start with this again, Alex."

I waved my arm. "Don't worry, Robin. I'm not gonna relapse on you. I… I realize that Emmeryn's fate was sealed from the very beginning, what with all the shit surrounding it. And… and Donnel too. I was more talking about… Well, you know I was looking for the Outrealm Gate. I assume you know, uh, all about my situation, right?"

"If you are referring to your being from another world?" Robin began, basically answering my question. "Yes. Yes I do. Realized it the moment I heard you were searching for the Outrealm Gate. It made a lot of sense. After all, your clothes when I first met you were nothing like the others, and you claimed to be from a country no one had ever heard of before. Although I am confused as to how you are able to speak perfect Common yet unable to write it."

"Hey, I've gotten better!" I claimed vehemently. "But… yeah, I can see how you were able to figure it out."

Robin's eyes were filled with sympathy. "I cannot blame you for keeping it a secret. For someone without all of the pieces, it would seem incredibly implausible, at best. And I have made a great deal of mistakes when I did not consider all of the pieces."

I didn't know what he was referring to other than Emmeryn when he said that, so I just kept walking.

"She does not know you are from another world, Alex," Robin said after a few seconds, after we passed another block. "And I doubt that would change her opinion of you much. I do not understand why you are concerned about it, but there it is."

I rubbed the back of my neck. "It's not so much that I'm concerned, really." I looked to the right at a random building. "I just… For some reason, I wanna tell her. Or start with her. I don't know."

Maybe I was tired of keeping secrets. Maybe I just wanted one other person to know, and Cordelia was the only other person I trusted. It was hard to tell.

"She probably has an inkling already," Robin suggested. "She is a smart woman. Whether you tell her or not is up to you. I shall not make that decision for you." He looked at me. "However, I would keep your  _foreknowledge_ under wraps. It is not something someone wishes to have thrust upon them."

I looked down. "…Robin, I'm-"

"Do not apologize, Alex," Robin interrupted, holding a hand up. "I have… made my share of mistakes in the past. Not that you telling me of the future is one of them. Just remember that. We will need to discuss that more later."

I nodded, saying nothing for the rest of our trip through Warreth.

* * *

I didn't tell Cordelia anything for around half of our journey back. Too busy working up the courage. Besides, the timing didn't feel right.

I'd tell her at some point, I told myself. I'd laugh about it later, I joked with myself.

The journey back was to be a long one. It took me alone just over a week to make it to Warreth, so we had to hoof it a little if we wanted to make it to Ylisstol before Spring began. It was still early March, but as far south as we were, I could feel the cold begin to recede. Not by much, but it was there. Only a couple more weeks and Winter would be over.

We spent most of the way back in silence. Turns out all three of us were introverts. Well, four of us. Cordelia's Pegasus was with us the entire way. I got jitters just looking at it, although not nearly as bad as when I first saw one. I couldn't get the feeling that the damn thing was staring at me. Judging me.

I ignored it. Mostly because to acknowledge that kinda shit would lead to madness.

Eventually, however, we stopped in a small village, somewhat off the beaten path. This was just about a week after we set out from Warreth. Near Ylisstol, but we still had a few days left. Something about the village seemed familiar. It wasn't Southtown; it wasn't as advanced as that place. It was a peasant village, virtually indistinguishable from all the ones we passed through all those months ago when we were patrolling Southern Ylisse. And yet, I couldn't shake off the familiarity. I brought it up with Robin.

He shrugged. "Perhaps we have been here before. I am sure we will find out when we get to the inn."

"That's a very vague answer, Robin." I pointed out, walking beside him.

"So it is," He agreed. "However, it is the best one I can provide."

Cordelia looked ahead of us. If there was one other thing I'd figured out about her during our travels, it was that she had excellent vision. Well, she had excellent  _everything_. That wasn't any surprise. She pointed at one of the larger buildings with a shingle dangling on a pole in front of it. "There it is. Let us hope they have room to spare."

Didn't bother to read the name of the inn since we'd only be staying for a night. We went inside, and a wave of heat hit me like someone threw a warm blanket at my face. That sort of comforting heat you feel wrapped up next to a fire in the middle of Winter. I angrily wondered why I didn't take the chance to get an inn on my way to Whiteford Isle and instead decided to camp out in the open in the middle of Winter. I may not have been in the best state of mind, but that really doesn't excuse it.

Whatever. I was over it.

The place was mostly empty, with only a few chairs and tables occupied. Behind a wooden counter a portly man stood and watched us walk in with excitement. It was like we were the only ones to enter in years. He hastily agreed to give us three rooms.

It was nice to be in a building again, instead of the ship we got to Warreth on which would rock like it was trying to get you to sleep and failing or sleeping in the cold with only a fire to keep you warm. It may have been late Winter, but it was  _still_ Winter.

We gathered in one room, just to talk. We still had daylight left, after all, and what better way to do that than have three introverts attempt to make conversation? Luckily, Robin seemed particularly antsy that evening.

"I am beginning to worry," He said, pacing. "I knew it would take some time, but to take this long…"

"Robin," I called, sitting down on the bed as Cordelia watched Robin go back and forth. "We'll be there in a few days; calm down. You've been like this for a while now, what the hell's going on?"

Robin sighed. "I am just worried that Chrom will become… I do not like the idea of causing him undue worry, especially with the responsibilities he has now. Beyond that, there was something he wanted to speak to me about before I left. Something important. I am just… Perhaps I am a little too high-strung."

"Fuck, I'll say," I remarked.

Cordelia looked at Robin, curiosity in her red eyes. "It must have been something big to have you this stressed. Do you have any idea what it is?"

"I have come up with several possibilities," Robin explained. "Everything from Knighthood to a noble title. All of them are worth it if he wants me to have them. Perhaps I am thinking too much of it, but…"

"Prince Chrom… he has a way of telling where people are needed, and their potential," Cordelia said, a small sigh escaping her lips. "I'm sure whatever he has planned for you, he knows it can wait. He's an understanding and good man, Robin."

I didn't fail to notice the slight blush on her cheeks.

Robin nodded, messaging his temples. "Yes. Yes I know that, Cordelia. I am too stressed out." He walked to the door. "I shall… I will take a walk. Attempt to get my emotions to settle. I shall be back shortly."

Robin gave me a look as he left. I was confused for a second until he closed the door behind him.

Then it was just the two of us.

Alone.

_Kill me._

Cordelia sighed again, rubbing her forehead. It was still weird to see her without her armor. "Gods, and Sumia told me that  _I_ was high-strung. Robin is going to fall down dead at this rate."

"Heh," I chuckled. "I wouldn't exactly call  _you_ high-strung. Maybe a little neurotic but nothing serious."

"If that is what you call diligence in regard to training, then I shall take that as a compliment," She replied, slumping in her seat. "I… I miss them, now. We shall see them soon, but it's been a couple weeks since I have spoken with Sumia or anyone else. I suppose I'd grown accustomed to having her and everyone else available."

I frowned, a little bit of guilt clawing through my chest. I was the reason she was there-

_No._

It was okay to feel guilty, but I would not moan about it. Not even in my head.

We fell into a comfortable silence after that brief exchange. It was difficult to come up with things to talk about that didn't relate to my whole  _situation_. No matter what, it would come up in my head.

It took me a second to realize this was my chance. No one around except for the two of us. Not that Robin being there would have been bad, but somehow, I'd prefer to do it on my own. Best to tell her then and get it over with.

"Hey," I rasped, coughing into my sleeve. "Hey, lemme ask you something."

"Hmm?" She hummed, looking at me sleepily. "By all means."

"…Er," I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat. Cordelia seemed to be catching onto my nervousness; the sleepiness left her eyes, and she sat straight, giving me her full attention.

That only made it worse. Hoo boy.

"Well," I began, not looking her in the eye. "You… You know how I was searching for an Outrealm Gate, right?"

She nodded. "Yes. Sumia said as much." She scooted a little closer. "I… assume you are going to tell me why, exactly, you would go to the literal edge of Ylisse to look for that legend?"

I swallowed for the umpteenth time, before looking back to face her as I said it. "Well, I've made it no secret that I'm not from around here. But… There isn't any other way to say this, really, but I'm not even from this world."

Cordelia blinked. "…What?"

I turned away again. "Fuck, I didn't really explain much with that, huh?" I shook my head before turning back to her. "I'm not from this world, okay? I'm from a place called Earth, the United States of America. Got off a bus to go home and walked straight into this place with no rhyme or reason. Just fucking plopped down like a sack of shit in the middle of this field. Saw Southtown in the distance and decided 'fuck it' and went there and met Chrom, and… Well, the rest is history." I looked down. "So… there. Just wanted to… let you know, I guess."

Cordelia stared at me for a few seconds. I could almost see the gears turning in her head. "You… You just…  _walked_ … between worlds?" She whispered.

My lips thinned. "…Yeah, I guess."

Cordelia shook her head. "Ignoring that I have no idea as to what a 'bus' is…" She paused, gathering her thoughts. "I… I suppose, in some way, that makes sense. Not the way you got here, but… How do you know that you're from another world?"

"Because, where I come from, we haven't used swords and armor like the ones you find here in  _centuries_ ," I explained, the words almost pouring out of my mouth. "There… There are no Pegasi, no Wyverns, no  _magic_. My, er, my people have had to rely on technology to get us going. Since you said you don't know what a bus is… Well, closest thing I could approximate it to would be a horseless carriage. Instead of crapping, though, it lets out carbon emissions."

It looked like Cordelia was blasted with a gust of wind with the way she looked. She was bemused, confused, and any other synonym I could think of. After a while though, she seemed to come to an understanding.

"That… That certainly sounds hardly believable," Cordelia said, wiping her forehead. "If it were anyone else telling me this, I would not believe them. I'd think they were jesting. But… But what you've told me… All of it is true, isn't it?"

I nodded silently.

She hummed, looking down at the floor. "I… I admit, that was one of the more outlandish things that I thought about on our way to bring you back. Somehow, it was stuck in the back of my mind. But, now that I've heard it from your own mouth…" She paused, before looking back up at me. "I suppose that makes some sense. You certainly have some strange values, compared to some people I have met. And the things you told me of your home…"

I shrugged, feeling like I'd gotten a huge weight off my chest. "Well, it probably adds more context to the whole 'never being able to see my family again', huh?"

"…Yes," She affirmed slowly. "I suppose it does. I… I had no idea, Alex. I'm sorry that this had to happen to you."

"Don't be sorry; you haven't done anything," I said, shaking my head and standing up. "I'm just glad I was able to tell somebody that!" I chuckled airily, feeling like I'd lost several pounds. "Besides, I don't think being here is so bad." I looked down at my iron hand. "Well, most of the time."

Cordelia stared at my metal hand for a moment, her expression a mix between concern and sympathy. "Alex, I'm glad you let me know about this. Even if it was difficult to say. If there is anything else you would like to tell me, I will not hesitate to listen."

"Same to you," I replied, walking to the door. "Feels like years ago since we had one of our little chats. I've missed them, heh. I'm, uh, gonna go ahead and go to sleep now. I'll see you later, alright?"

Cordelia nodded, a small smile gracing her lips. "Yes. I'll tell Robin that you turned in when he comes back."

"Yeah, thanks." I opened the door. "Night!"

"Good night!"

I closed the door and took a deep breath.

_That… was easier than I thought._

* * *

Telling Cordelia about where I came from may have been easier than I expected, but even so my heart would not stop pounding. I laid in my bed, the sound of my heartbeat my only company, unable to get to sleep. Well, I got a couple minutes here and there, but nothing substantial. In the end, I wouldn't get much sleep that night no matter how hard I tried.

It may have been a terrible idea to go out and wander the village at what I assumed to be around four in the morning. Some people may've been up at that time, but not anyone I'd be interested in talking to.

I left the inn quietly, passing by my companions' rooms on the way out. The dirt streets of the village were empty, save for the occasional person I ended up going past. They didn't give me the time of day, and neither would I them.

It occurred to me that I never really looked at the moon. I knew it was there; it shined almost every night. But I didn't study it. I didn't see if it was any different.

On that cold street, I looked up.

The moon wasn't the same. It was closer, and the craters were all wrong. There weren't even any dark patches on it.

I looked back down and sighed. I'd get used to it, now that I knew how different it was.

As I continued to walk, something felt off. I remembered how similar the village felt. Robin seemingly didn't know why, or if he did, he didn't tell me.

_And why would that be?_

It took me a couple of minutes, but I finally realized it. We were in Donnel's village. We stayed outside of it for a night when we were patrolling back in Summer. It felt it'd been years since then. So much had changed.

Donnel was dead for one.

I couldn't help but frown as that crossed my mind. I knew it wasn't my fault. People die in war all the time. Robin's words from weeks prior still held true.

But even then, I couldn't get the feeling that something was missing out of my head.

"…I knew it," A woman's voice said from behind me. "I done knew it was ya."

I whirled around, my iron hand going for my sword before realizing it was on the other side of my hip. By the time I realized that, though, I recognized the woman in front of me. If I were generous, I'd call her middle-aged. Brown hair tied into a ponytail and a chubby but strong build. I'd recognize the woman anywhere, even if I'd only really seen her once.

_Donnel's mother. What're the odds?_

"…You…" I mumbled awkwardly. "You're-"

She put her hands to her hips. "Donny's ma? Aye, that I am. And ya must be Alexander, huh?"

I didn't look her in the eye. Even after I agreed to go back with Robin and Cordelia, I still had a problem with that. "…Yeah. Yeah, I am. How'd you know my name?"

Donnel's mom smiled. A sad smile that made me want to curl up into a ball and forget everything. "I done made sure my boy knew how to read and write," She replied, emotions straining her voice. "He made sure to write home. Up 'till he marched with ya'll to kick Gangrel's mongrel hide. He mentioned ya lots. Always heapin' praise on ya like ya were the brother he never did have!"

I rubbed the sides of my nose, taking deep breaths. "I… I had no idea. I'm… I know you've probably heard this from tons of people since… well, you know, but I'm honestly sorry. I really, really am."

"Bah!" Donnel's mom waved a hand dismissively. "There ain't nothin' ya need to apologize for. I heard 'nough from all them Shepherds and His Majestyfullness!" She sighed, and I saw her wipe her eyes from the corner of my vision. "I… I always did have a bad feelin' when I saw him march on with ya'll. Shoulda known…" She shook her head, attempting to keep it together. "But that ain't what I tried to find ya for. Heard ya'll, or some of ya'll anyhow, were in town. Turns out it was the lot who didn't show up for… for my boy's funeral."

I winced.

_Sir Donnel's funeral is to be held in just a few days. I do not know where you are intending to go, but you will certainly miss it if you do not go back._

Lucina's words hit harder than they did when we last met.

"Then, what did you want from me?" I asked, holding my arms out. "I don't, I'm not sure what I could do right now."

"I want ya to come with me," She said, jerking a thumb back. "I gots somethin' I think ya should see. Or ol' Donny woulda wanted ya to see. He was always like that. He had lots of his father in 'im."

I didn't know what to say, really. What could I say? I may not have blamed myself for a lot of things anymore, but somehow, I still felt apprehension at her request. Like if I did it, I'd come out a different person. Not that I wasn't already. The person who stepped off that bus only to find himself just outside of Southtown was a completely different person, as far as I was concerned.

It was not the time to be thinking of things like that, but I was doing it anyway. Par for the course with me.

Shakily, I nodded.

* * *

"It ain't the biggest place in Ylisse, but it was 'nough for us," Donnel's Mom remarked unbidden as soon as we entered her house. "Donny had his own room. Down there a ways. I put the what ya need to see in there."

She pointed further down the small wooden hallway to an old-looking oak door. The house itself wasn't anything special, although I thought that added to its charm; it was humble, with nothing unnecessary.

With my eyes on the floor, I stalled. "…Are you sure you want me to…? I mean, this seems… rather personal."

"It's fine," She assuaged, walking forward. "I said so, didn't I? Donny woulda wanted ya to read 'em. I think he woulda. He never did stop sayin' all these things 'bout you. It's how I was able to pick you out when all my ol' friends said some strangers walked right on in." She looked me in the eye. "Ya look like ya ain't stayin' long, so if ya leave after ya read 'em, don't mind me none."

She trusted me enough to just let me into her home. There'd been a lot of that happening recently.

I gulped, my footsteps ringing hollowly in my ears as I walked. It didn't take long for me to reach the door to Donnel's room, and when I did, I opened it. The door squeaked, sounding like mice were infesting it. I walked in, taking in everything.

It was a small room. A glassless window shown a blue light through it, making the room seem rather calm. A desk sat haphazardly to the side of the room, old and worn. Several rocks I could identify laid on top of it. Along with what appeared to be drawings, with an extinguished lamp right at the side. The bed sat right up against the wall, with plain coverings and a single pillow.

Donnel would never walk there again.

What interested me the most was what laid on top of his bed. Several papers arranged as gingerly as possible sat right in the middle. I stepped toward it, taking care to step lightly. Didn't know why I did that; it just seemed right. The first paper looked a little crinkled, with what I assumed to be tear stains marking it.

I knew where those came from.

Nonetheless, I began reading what I assumed to be the first letter. My Common was still pretty basic, but luckily that's all Donnel seemed to write in.

* * *

_Dear Ma._

_I miss you. Just wanted to let you know. All the Shepherds are all mighty kind to me. They even let me train with them! I didn't get hurt none, though. Not- Maybe a little. Alex has been the kindest to me. Let me train with him from dawn to dusk and didn't complain none when I didn't catch on like he thought I would. He's really strong! Don't talk much though. Strong and silent, kinda like da was._

_Ain't saying he's like da was. I loved da. I wish- I hope he's doing alright, wherever he is. You never did take me to any churches, but one of them priests came by the barracks the other day and told me more about Naga. You think that's where da is? Naga seems like a nice lady. Kinda like Alex, but Alex ain't a god. Or a lady._

_Kinda wish I was more like him. He says he had a head start and that's why he's so strong already. This Sully girl kinda came in and said some things, but I think they're friends, so I stayed quiet._

_Anyway, think I made this letter here too long. I'll write to ya soon, ma! Ain't got much glory yet, though I think I'll be getting some soon._

_Donny._

* * *

I put the letter down, my breathing heavy. The tears didn't fall. Not yet. But even then, I felt a pain in my chest. A lump in my throat. The first time I'd gotten to hear Donnel's unfiltered thoughts, and it was after he died. He was always genuine, though, so I probably heard his true feelings all the time.

I rubbed my forehead. I wished I'd gotten more of a chance to talk to him. I wished I'd done a lot more things differently. If I could go back and change things, I would.

But I couldn't. Donnel would always be dead. Nothing would change that.

I looked at the last letter of the pile. It'd be weird, skipping to the last letter Donnel ever sent, but I wanted to. Well, a part of me didn't. I part of me I was beginning to stop listening to. Despite my apprehension and fear, I picked up the last letter.

* * *

_Dear Ma._

_Alex got hurt. He got hurt bad. A lot of Shepherds got hurt bad. It was hard to look at. All of them were just in the wagons. The sounds they made-_

_I don't like thinking about it much. The other Shepherds are back up now. I nearly fell over when Vaike came up behind me and gave me a bear hug! I liked it. It meant they were still alive._

_Alex's gotten quiet, though. Really quiet. Looks like he's got lots on his mind. He's strong. Sure he'll pull through it. And if he can't I'll be sure to help him out. Just like he helped me back when I first came around! Da always told me you should pay your debts. I don't owe Alex any gold, but I think da would tell me the same thing he just did for this anyway. So that's that._

_Anyway, think I'll come home soon. All the Shepherds saying this'll be the 'deciding battle' or some such. Maybe I could bring home something. We're going to a place called the 'Old Altean Wasteland'. Wonder what kinda rocks they got there? Shepherds say it don't have rocks. Just dust. Either way, think it'll be over soon._

_See you when I get home, ma!_

_Donny._

* * *

That did it. Using my good arm to support myself, I slowly lowered myself down. The tears came down like rain; I couldn't control them.

_Donnel._

"God damn you…" I sniffled, eyeing my iron hand. "God damn it, Donny…"

I don't know how long I sat there. All I knew is that I stopped crying after a while. The first rays of sunshine burst over the horizon and filtered through the window. Just staring at the floor, my thoughts were all over the place.

After some time, though, I got up. I had come to a decision.

I had somewhere I needed to go.

* * *

Asking around was easier, considering it was early morning then. I'd apparently been in Donnel's room for over an hour. Unsurprising, but it didn't matter. What did matter was what the locals told me. There was a church, located right in the middle of the village. Even though, from what I read, Donnel's mother never really took him to church, he was buried there.

The graveyard wasn't very big. It had a couple well-defined gravestones sticking out of the ground, but other than that, nothing special. There was one, though, right at the edge of it. Grass hadn't crept over the disturbed earth yet, and there were wilted and dead flowers surrounding it. Lilies, I think.

It couldn't have been more obvious. I stepped through the graveyard, minding where I was stepping.

Before long, I stood in front of the grave. The epitaph nearly made me collapse right there.

* * *

_Here lies Donnel Tinhead._

_Cremated and returned to the earth on February 18, 998 AS._

_Gave his life in service to Prince Chrom Adriatus Lowell. He will not be forgotten._

_May he find peace in the embrace of Naga._

* * *

"Fuck…" I swore under my breath, looking at Donnel's grave. "I… Damnit, I don't know what to say."

I collected myself as best as I could. Not an easy task, considering my state of mind from earlier.

"D-Donny," I said shakily, attempting to stand tall. "I… I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your… your funeral. I was in a bad place. Although that really isn't a good excuse, is it?" I swallowed the lump in my throat down. "I-I read your letters. They… Well, I had no idea you even wrote them, heh, they were… They were really well-written. Like, damn. But, you really did think highly of me, huh? I don't, I  _didn't_ deserve it. Your respect."

I paused for a moment, wiping my eyes. My iron hand glinted dully in the sun.

"I'm… I'm not even half the person you thought I was. Let's be honest." I looked down at the loose earth. "But… that doesn't mean I can't do better. I need to do better. I can't, I can't just run away and forget things that happen. I can't blame myself for shit that isn't my fault. I have to do better if I want to get anywhere. And…" My expression hardened. "I promise you. I will do better. I will be the best version of myself I can be. I won't stop until I'm the person you wrote about in your letters. I swear to you."

I bowed my head low, wiping at my face again. Turning around, I spared one last glance behind me.

"Goodbye, Donny." I whispered.

Walking away was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do. I left that graveyard with a new purpose.

I would never go home. Instead I'd live in Ylisse with my allies, my friends. I'd become the best person I could be. I would live for those around me. They deserved as much.

I just wished it didn't take me so long to get to that point.

* * *

I met up with Robin and Cordelia not long after that. We were only a couple more days away from Ylisstol, and we made good time.

We arrived just a couple days after we left Donnel's village. It was late March, and the last gasps of Winter were making themselves known. Cold wind blew across the plains Ylisstol was situated on.

Soon enough, we were in. Ylisstol was still in a bit of a state, but I could tell improvements and repairs had been done. Some buildings were re-erected, and the rubble I'd seen before I left was either no longer there or in the process of being cleaned up.

It was strange walking through the place. I didn't think I'd ever see it again just a month before. And yet, there I was. Walking side by side with the two people who I could call my best friends.

Eventually, we found ourselves just outside the barracks.

I stopped, looking at the doors. "Fuck, I'm nervous."

"Run away again, and I will not follow you," Robin threatened.

" _Jesus_ ," I replied, eyeing Robin. "Wasn't gonna go  _that_  far. It's just that… Well, it's been a while. Don't tell me you're not nervous to meet Chrom."

"Hmm," Robin hummed mysteriously, turning around. "Thank you for reminding me that I have to meet with him. I will be sure to tell him of our safe return."

"Robin, the fuck man-"

Cordelia sighed. "I regret to say that I should probably report in to Flight-Commander Phila. Go ahead and enter, Alex."

"I- What," I flatly continued. Cordelia and Robin walked away, although Cordelia gave me an encouraging smile as she did. That made me feel a little better.

Soon enough, it was just me outside the door.

I gulped, swallowing my apprehension and opening it. The creaking sound it made caused me to cringe.

"…Aw, damn! Look who it is!" A familiar, boisterous voice boomed, approaching me from the front. Vaike walked up to me, looking at me up and down. "…Eh. Ya look like you've seen better days, huh?"

"I-I…" I got a hold of myself. "First thing you say to me, and it's that. Christ, man. You're still not wearing a goddamn  _shirt_."

Vaike flexed. "Damn right I ain't! Have ya seen these? Teach couldn't just let 'em sit in a stuffy shirt all day! Gotta let 'em free!"

"Oh fuck off," I replied. "I'm surprised you don't have more scars. Zero protection."

"Hey, if the guy's already dead, then he can't hit me," Vaike retorted. I just sputtered.

"Vaike, what're shoutin' and hollerin' for-" Of all people, Sully came around the corner. "Ah shit, look who's back from their little expedition." She remarked, walking up to me. Looked like she was studying me while she was at it. "Damn, ya look like shit. They didn't have lakes where you were?"

"No. No they didn't," I confirmed dryly. "No streams either. Just had the ocean. And, well, I'm salty enough as it is."

"Heh, now I know why Gaius calls ya 'Sailor'!" Vaike laughed.

I shook my head, chuckling a little myself. I made a show of looking around. "Where is everyone?"

"Eh, around," Sully said, motioning her hand around. "They're all over the place since the big news came in and you guys left for your 'investigation'. Sure there's a few of 'em 'round. Should go and clean yerself up first. Can't go 'round like you are. Look and smell like yer homeless."

"Damn, Sully. Poor guy's back for, what, five minutes? Did the Vaike go a little too hard during training this morning? Ha!"

"Oh, there he goes again!" Sully glared. "Little bastard. Think yer tough shit 'cause you got a lucky hit."

"L-Little!?" Vaike parroted incredulously, like Sully had slapped him across the face. "T-The hell do ya think yer talkin' to!?"

I couldn't help it; I burst out laughing.

I'd missed these guys. I wondered why I even left in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say. The next few chapters are gonna be pretty fun to write, in my opinion. Lots of worldbuilding as the timeskip marches on.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	20. The First Step

"Ah, Alex. There you are," Frederick said, approaching me in the hallway wearing full armor.

I looked at him wide-eyed, surprised by his presence. Hadn't seen him what felt like forever. "…Shit, is something happening? You only come up to me with all that armor on when we're about to train."

I'd been back for a week, and what a week it was. The barracks were still used by everyone, even after the war and Chrom ascending to the throne in all but name. Well, mostly everyone. Chrom and Sumia no longer stayed there, although they visited regularly. Beyond that, though, it was nice to catch up with them. Really did feel like I'd come home again.

Even bumped into Kellam. Now that was a blast from the past.

There was one detail I noted, though: no one seemed to question where I'd gone. Where  _we'd_  gone, I should say. I didn't bother to ask Robin if the Shepherds knew about why we were all gone for over a month when we were on our way back to Ylisstol. The most I could get was that the three of us had gone on an expedition of sorts to Whiteford Isle, to investigate rumors of strange anomalies.

Seemed a bit wonky to me, but they bought it.

"Not at all," Frederick assuaged, staring down at me intimidatingly. He  _was_  one of the few Shepherds taller than me. "Milord and Robin would like a word with you. Depending on how it turns out, we may be seeing each other a lot more."

"If that ain't the most cryptic thing I've heard today…" I mumbled to myself before shaking my head. "Alright then. Lead the way, I guess?"

Frederick nodded, and we were on our way.

* * *

"…Hey, Frederick."

"Yes, Alex?"

For some reason, I paused like a dumbass before remembering what I wanted to ask. "So, you said we'd be seeing each other a lot more depending on how this, er,  _meeting_  went. Could you give me any clue why? Not that I think that would be a bad thing, mind you."

Frederick hummed. "You shall see soon. It would be remiss of me to tell you when milord seemed so excited."

I grumbled something unintelligible and kept my pace up. Castle Ylisstol's halls would always seem a maze to me; even the walk there from the barracks was less confusing. I hadn't even been in the place since Validar's assault. It looked like all the bloodstains and bodies had been cleaned, at least.

_Well of course it would be. It's been months, boy scout._

Before long, I was ushered into a meeting room of sorts. Oak table in the middle surrounded by chairs, with a single window allowing sunlight inside. Chrom and Robin sat on either side of the table, discussing something until Frederick and I entered. Chrom stood up, smiling wide.

"Alex! Good to see you!" He held out a hand, and I took it. "It's been too long. Glad to see you have cleaned yourself up. Sully told me you were in… quite a state when you, Robin, and Cordelia came back."

I winced. "Okay look, they didn't have any baths or good water or anything when I was there, and I-  _Goddamn you, Sully_." I mumbled to myself, letting go of Chrom's hand and turning to Robin. "Right, you guys wanted to see me for something?"

Robin's expression was unreadable as he nodded his head to Chrom. "I will let Chrom explain. It was his idea."

I looked at the blue-haired lord. "Well, now I'm  _really_ curious."

"Heh," Chrom chuckled. "I'm sure you will like it. It's more of a formality at this point."

I sat down between next to Robin as Chrom sat back in his chair.

Frederick bowed. "I will ensure no one disturbs you, milord."

Chrom nodded. "Thank you, Frederick. This won't take long."

Frederick left, closing the door behind him. With that, it was just the three of us. Despite the way I spoke, I was actually nervous. It wasn't often things like this happened. I could only imagine what they had in store for me.

And I was thanking my lucky stars that Robin was able to cover for my ass. Even if the cover story was weak, it worked.

Chrom sighed. "I haven't had a moment like this in a while. Not an ounce of privacy since I've taken control. And the Council… Urgh." He took a deep breath. "Anyway, I didn't ask you to come here to hear me complain, Alex."

"I wouldn't mind if you did. I'm a pretty good listener." I smiled.

"Ha!" Chrom laughed. "Be careful, I may just take you up on that offer!" He coughed into his fist. "Anyway, since I've taken control, I have had to make many decisions. One of those being who I will have as my advisors. I already have Frederick and Phila as Knight-Commander and Flight-Commander respectively. And the Council will no doubt show me who I should fill in for the other positions. There is one position, however, that has not been filled for quite some time."

Robin face broke out into a small smirk as Chrom continued.

"That position being Grandmaster Tactician." Chrom nodded to Robin. "I have decided that person shall be Robin. A worthy reward for someone who stuck by me through the whole war and was the reason we even stood a chance in the first place. But…"

Robin continued for Chrom, his face settling back into that same neutral expression from before. "I am not nobility. While the positions as advisors of the Exalt are not exclusive to nobility, the fact that for all intents and purposes I am just a commoner will be sure to cause some unrest among the Council and lesser courts."

I still had no idea where this conversation was going. I understood the concept of nobility, of course, but it was an ancient and foreign concept. Something that was technically thrown away in the United States over two-hundred years before I was even born. I wasn't stupid; I knew there would always be those that are above others, whether it be class or through just having more than everyone else. But this was a feudal society. One where, if the king – or Exalt in this situation, even though he didn't officially take that title – married anyone not of noble birth it was possible for there to be riots in the streets.

"But that is where you come in, Alex," Robin finished.

I leaned forward, putting my good hand on the table. "Alright, what's going on? Why am I here?"

"Alex," Chrom began. "I wanted to grant you knighthood."

Whatever thoughts I had were gone as soon as Chrom finished. Knighthood? I barely knew the first thing about being a Knight. Why in all the fucking world was  _I_ being given this… Well, I would've liked to call it an honor, but it felt more like a whole lot of responsibility on my shoulders.

"…What?" I mumbled out after a few seconds, my eyes wide.

"We would have to forgo some processes, certainly," Chrom continued. "You were never a Page or a Squire. Nonetheless, I think it is the best way to further legitimize Robin. Of course, you would benefit as well."

"Woah, woah, woah, hold up." I said, holding my good hand up. "You want  _me_ , some nobody foreigner, to be a Knight? What…"

"That 'nobody foreigner' fought with us through the entire war," Chrom retorted, crossing his arms. "…You can reject it if you wish, Alex. I would not put you in this position if you truly didn't want it."

"It's-" I rasped before coughing into my hand. "It's not that. I'm just… confused, I guess? How will this help Robin?"

"As Chrom said, it would make me seem more legitimate," Robin reiterated. "This would also raise your position in the world, and possibly open more opportunities for you in the future." Robin smiled softly. "In addition, working with you could prove to be… entertaining."

I gave Robin a blank look.

"But like Chrom said, you can refuse this if you want," Robin continued, folding his hands together on the table. "It just means we will need to find somebody else to fit the position. I do hope you accept, though."

I looked down at the table, thinking. A part of me wanted to refuse. What right did I have to become a Knight? With my iron hand? With my mistakes? I didn't listen to it, though. I was done listening to it. I had a promise to keep, to be a better person. To not just run away from my problems and responsibilities.

Looking back up with a determined expression, I spoke. "I accept your offer, Chrom. I'll become a Knight."

A smile lit up Chrom's face. "Great! I knew you'd be up to it!"

His smile was contagious, as I was sure Robin and I could attest. I coughed into my hand. "So, uh, how exactly are we doing this?"

"Oh," Chrom seemed to settle down. "Ah, yes. Well, usually there would be a ceremony and tournament dedicated to someone attaining Knighthood, but for you I think we will go with something a little less flashy. A simple ceremony at the end of the week should be sufficient."

I shrugged. "Eh, was never really very good with crowds anyway. Well that and…" I put my iron hand on the table. "This… well, I don't really know how to fight anymore. Not with a hand missing."

Chrom focused on my hand while Robin spoke: "We will need to begin training again. You never know when something will come up."

"Yes," Chrom agreed. "Stop by the training grounds tomorrow. We'll get you back in fighting shape in no time."

I raised a brow. "Huh?"

* * *

" _Gah, fuck!_ "

Chrom hissed. "I… may have been a little too hard on him…"

I rolled around on the dirt floor, grabbing at my knee. "Fuck, dude, ya think?" I laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, let's just have the guy who's lost his dominant hand spar with a  _literal superhuman_. What could go wrong!?"

"The 'guy' would begin complaining on the floor. That is what could go wrong," Frederick said dryly from the sidelines.

I sat up, picking up my sword. My iron hand still grasped the shield in a vice. Those spring-loaded mechanisms could do wonders. I faced Chrom again, in a reverse of the stance I used to take back when I had my right hand.

Couldn't tell if it I was rusty or if I was worse at fighting with my left hand than I thought. A combination of both was the most likely answer. My swings were not as strong, my strikes not as precise. I felt more sluggish than usual. It was like trying to ride a bicycle with only one foot.

And, well, as I'd said, Chrom was the closest thing to a superhuman that I'd ever seen. This was the guy who could do three flips in the air, defying all the laws of physics through sheer strength, and speed towards his time-travelling daughter who could do the exact same thing.

I swallowed my doubts and feelings of inferiority and charged clumsily. My practice sword slammed into Chrom's, who aimed low, going for my legs again. Wizening up to his tricks, I blocked it with my shield. Too bad the fucker was so fast I couldn't bring up my sword for another strike and ended up blocking another blow aimed for my head. Chrom didn't have a lot of finesse, but he swung the practice sword around like it was an extension of his body. In just a few seconds I'd gone from going on the attack to backpedaling on the defensive.

Despite it all, though, I saw an opening. As soon as Chrom swung again, I struck. My practice sword hit his side, bouncing harmlessly off as I was quickly disarmed and sent to my ass for the fiftieth time that day.

"Impressive; you got me!" Chrom laughed jovially, patting the side I'd hit. "I didn't expect that!"

"Fat lotta good that did me," I spat out, looking up at the great blue sky. "Christ, and you're Knighting me in just a few days! Isn't there some kind of, I dunno,  _thing_ I'm supposed to do involving combat?"

"Not in this case, although I would love to see the face of someone who lost to you," Chrom replied, chuckling. He offered me his hand, and I took it. "Like I told you, it'll just be a little private ceremony. Something official so the nobility don't question why this foreigner is hanging around my newly-appointed Tactician."

"The training will not stop once you have been Knighted, Alex," Frederick said, stepping forward. "It would be remiss of me to allow a Knight of Ylisse to slack in his training. Especially in your case."

I rubbed the back of my head as Chrom hoisted me up. "I know, I know… Maybe I'm just a bit nervous. Haven't been given such a big responsibility before. Not that I'm not grateful, but…"

Chrom nodded. "It's understandable. Knighthood  _is_ a big responsibility, but is an honor as well." Chrom gestured to a nearby wooden bench. "Let's take a break. Frederick, could you get us some water?"

Frederick bowed. "At once, milord."

We sat down as he left. I sprawled out on the bench, running my left hand over my forehead. Had to consciously remind myself to do that, otherwise I'd bash my face in.

"I know you're frustrated, but since we've started you have improved," Chrom said, leaning back on his side of the bench. "We never had the chance to spar before, but you seem to have a good handle on swordplay, even with only your left hand to work with."

I held up my right hand, twisting it back and forth. "Hell, if my swordsmanship fails me, I could always deck somebody in the face."

"Ha!" Chrom barked a laugh. "Now that's an idea! Didn't think of it when I was handing the schematics to the blacksmith, but now that you've said it… Ah, that would be a sight to see, wouldn't it? Think they may even put it in the history books, should they write any about us."

"Still haven't forgotten when you kicked that door down." I pointed at him, smiling. "Tell me the truth, you were just showing off, weren't you?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Chrom answered cryptically. He let out a deep sigh. "I've missed this. It's been too long since I've gotten the chance to be alone and spar with a friend."

I don't think I'd ever get used to Chrom calling me a friend, even if it had been a long while since he last said so directly.

"Fuck, man, I can't even imagine," I began. "I mean, here I am moaning about how nervous I am about becoming a Knight while you're here governing the Halidom. Don't know much about royalty but that doesn't give you a lotta time to yourself, does it?"

"That's putting it mildly." Chrom crossed his arms, staring off into the distance. "I have always known how to rule the Halidom. It comes with being second in line for the Exalt, but… I'm beginning to understand a little how Emm must have felt when she became Exalt after the Plegian Crusades." He ran a hand through his blue hair. "I may have forsworn the title of Exalt, but I am still the reigning monarch. Coming into power just after fighting a war that nearly saw our land conquered… It has been messy. I don't even have all of my advisor positions filled. The Council has been difficult to work with. And on top of all that, I'm getting married! Gods, I really do have a full plate…"

"…Holy hell, dude," I replied, a little stunned at the sudden onslaught of stress. "I mean,  _damn_ , that really… well, there really is nothing I can say."

Maybe it was a remnant of the guilt I felt, but I still had trouble looking Chrom in the eye when he turned to me. Well, that and some shame at the fact I was bitching and moaning about getting my ass kicked when Chrom was dealing with so much. I decided not to beat myself up about it and simply keep my complaints to myself from that point onward.

Chrom sighed. "I wouldn't expect that of you. If this is the burden I must bear so that the Halidom will continue peacefully, then I will bear it gladly. I just wish I had more time to do things like this."

I nodded. "You miss being with all the Shepherds all the time, huh?"

"Mhm," Chrom hummed. "I'll always look on those times fondly. Patrolling the countryside, keeping the people safe… Technically the Shepherds will continue to do that, but I will no longer be able to lead them as I had."

I didn't answer for several moments; I tried to think of something to say. "…Hey, you know what, let's do this every week. How does that sound?"

Chrom looked at me curiously as I stood up.

"I mean, unless you're so swamped with shit that you can't, of course. Just wanna let you know you aren't alone in this. You're getting married, so Sumia will probably help you out with all sorts of things. And you still got us! Now," I picked up a training sword that I was using before Chrom disarmed me earlier. "I know Frederick ain't back yet, but I think I could go for another round. How about you?"

Chrom blinked, and then his face lit up. "I may just take you up on that offer, Alex. Gods know I could use the practice myself!" He stood up, picking up his practice sword. "I won't go as easy as I have on you next time, though. Be prepared!

I gulped. What had I done?

* * *

I wiped my brow as I caught my breath. Training had ended just five minutes prior, yet I still needed time on the bench to recover. Chrom hadn't so much as broken a sweat. At most, it looked like he'd gone out for a light jog. He and Frederick had left not long after, allowing me to get a hold of myself.

It was clear I was going to need a lot of training to get used to my altered stance. To get used to my left hand doing all the work. As I was told before, my iron hand could hold a shield. Bigger relief than it was just a couple months before. Didn't want to be caught out in the battlefield with no protection; good way to lose more than just a hand.

And with the Valmese Invasion in probably less than two years, I couldn't spend a lot of time just sitting around. So training for the next two years was going to be my priority.

Then it occurred to me. I was flooded with nostalgia as I remembered all the training I did almost a year ago. That hit hard, but not in a bad way. I'd been in Ylisse, Archanea, Fire Emblem: Awakening for almost a full year. For some reason, I felt satisfaction at how far I'd come in that span of time. I'd gone from a college student with zero combat experience to a war veteran in a fantasy universe.

I looked down at my iron hand and frowned. I may have gained a lot, but I'd lost a lot, too.

_Donnel._

I leaned my head back, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. Dwelling on shit like that wouldn't help me. Better to relax while I could.

"Hey, Sailor."

Slowly, my eyes opened, landing on Gaius. I pulled off the most unamused expression I could muster. " _Gaius_ ," I greeted curtly. "Got something you wanna say?"

Gaius was unaffected by my tone as he gracefully took a seat next to me. "Just thought you'd want some company, Sailor." He looked to me and smirked. "Usually you'd scream when I did that. Or just jump up like a rat got shoved down your tunic. I miss that."

My frown deepened. "Oh, yeah, I loved that too. My heart going a million miles an hour? Got the adrenaline pumping. All that good shit."

Gaius' smirk turned into a shit-eating grin. "Oh, so I made your heart beat fast? Tell me, were your reactions just to hide your swooning whenever I spoke with you?"

I groaned as I slapped my face with my left hand' "Fuck! Here I was just enjoying post-training bliss and you just gotta get your nose into it. God damnit, man."

Gaius held his hands up mockingly. "Hey, I mean, I don't mind if you swing that way, Sailor. That's your prerogative. Sad to say that I'm taken, so you lost your chance. Chin up, though. I'm sure there are other people who'll wanna piece of you."

I looked at him seriously. "You're… taken?"

"Sure am," Gaius confirmed, leaning back. "Married to the prettiest thing you ever did see. Can you guess who it is?"

"Fuck, don't do this to me, man. Who?" I asked back, suddenly very interested in the conversation.

Seemingly out of his sleeve, Gaius pulled out a lollipop. "This little thing right here! Ain't she the prettiest, Sailor?" He cooed, before popping it into his mouth. "Damn, thas good."

"My God, so this is what bloodlust feels like," I murmured to myself.

"You shay shomething, Shailor?" Gaius spoke with the lollipop in his mouth.

I shook my head. "No, no I didn't." I rubbed the back of my head. "So, any real reason why you decided to pay me a visit?"

"Eh," Gaius took the lollipop out of his mouth and twirled it in his fingers by the stick. "Just wanted to see how you were doing. Seems like you've been going at it pretty hard with Blue all day. The big promotion weighing on you or something?"

I sighed. "I don't really have a right to complain, do I? I mean, being a Knight is an honor and all that, right?"

"You can be a little nervous. That's just natural," Gaius supplied. "You're still going through with it, which is what counts. Me? I don't think I'm Knight material. Don't got the stones or the body for it. Put me into plate armor and I'll just sit there and rot. Besides, all that duty malarkey ain't really my style, yeah? Can't exactly do any jobs with those kinda oaths."

The image of Gaius in full plate armor made me giggle. "Hehe, maybe we should get you Knighted too. I'd pay money to see you struggle to move in that shit."

"Aw, damn, and here I thought you were my friend," Gaius replied in a hurt tone of voice. "This hurts me, Sailor. You got me good."

"Keep talking like that and I'll show you how badly I can hurt you."

"And this is where I make my exit," Gaius said quickly, standing up stiffly. "Don't want you to kill me so soon after you, Bubbles, and Red came back. Got a ton more candy to eat and all that."

"It's too late, Gaius," I said menacingly, standing up. "You've already sealed your fate."

"Yeah, yeah," Gaius waved off, making me scoff indignantly. "Anyway, game night this Sunday. You gonna be there?"

I paused for a second. I hadn't been to one of those in a while. And without Donnel…

"…You get another fifth player?" I asked quietly.

Gaius turned around, looked me in the eye, and shook his head. "I don't think anyone could replace Farmboy, do you?"

I didn't answer, looking at the floor as I was. After a second, though, I looked back up. "…You know what? Count me in, Gaius. It'll be after I'm Knighted anyway. Could use the celebration."

Gaius smirked. Not the same shit-eating grin he had for most of the conversation, but a genuine one. "Now that's what I like to hear! See you then."

He left the training area. A few minutes later, I followed, with a smile plastered on my face.

* * *

"… _and I swear my service and sword to you, my lord._ " I said, my voice echoing in the chamber I was practicing in. "Damn, that sounds cool."

"You are swearing an oath, Alex; it is not meant to be 'cool'." Frederick said coolly. "It seems you have your part memorized. Ensure that you do not forget it by tomorrow morning."

"Yeah," I replied, standing up. "Don't worry about that, Frederick. Just, uh…" I couldn't exactly say 'nerding out'. He wouldn't have understood what I meant anyway. Still nervous, but hopefully he didn't notice that. "…Just a little excited. I've never done anything like this before."

"I would be concerned if you had done something like this before," Frederick said, still standing tall. He wasn't wearing his heavy armor anymore, but even without it he still looked as imposing as ever. He was wearing what I could only describe as a grey butler's uniform. If I remembered correctly, he even wore it underneath the suit of armor he usually had. "Being granted Knighthood is a unique experience, even if yours is being given unusually. You must be every bit as honorable and loyal as your oath says you are."

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. "Er, yeah. I mean, I'm serving Robin, so I don't think living up to those oaths will be that hard."

Frederick's eyes narrowed, and I fidgeted in place. "You are not very adept at hiding your body language, Alex."

"…Okay, well, just point that out then, I guess," I mumbled to myself, causing Frederick to move a little closer. "And that is seriously making me nervous. Jesus, can't be a Knight if I die of high blood pressure the day before."

"Why are you nervous?" Frederick asked simply, his arms behind his back.

Even the sun shining into the small room couldn't shake off the air of unapproachability Frederick had then. "…Fuck, I don't know. I just  _am_."

Even though I told myself I'd keep my mouth shut when it came to my complaining, I still couldn't help what I felt. I'd felt this horrible pressure building in my chest, like I was going to my first day of college or some shit. I hated the feeling, but no matter what I did, I couldn't get rid of it. It was like this even before I'd come to Ylisse. And I doubted it would ever go away. The only thing I could do was wait until the event I was anticipating came to pass.

Then I'd wonder why I was so nervous in the first place and everything would go back to normal. That's usually how it went, and it was the only thing keeping me going.

Frederick stared at me for a few moments. This only made me even more anxious. I was joking before, but the way things were going I was liable to just fall down dead there. My heart would explode.

"It is not improper to feel nervousness," Frederick said. "Becoming a Knight is a big responsibility. I would be worried if you were feeling nothing at all. It is important to keep your emotions in check despite that."

"Frederick,  _I know_ ," I said, my voice cracking as I ran my good hand through my hair. "Trust me, once I'm actually there I'll probably be the definition of calm, but until then… Well, I'll be a nervous wreck."

Frederick paused as those words left my mouth. He seemingly thought for a moment before speaking again. "I was not unlike you when I first found my duties thrust upon me. You may not have been a Page or a Squire, but even so you feel the anxiety of one before the day they are granted what they have been training years for." He put a hand on my shoulder. "You have come a long way from the pudgy foreign villager I thought you were. If milord wishes to give you such an honor as Knighthood, I do not see any reason to disagree."

It felt like being praised by my dad, or someone else I looked up to. I didn't know how to respond. Agree with him? Shake his hand? I was too stunned to really even say anything. For a moment, I even forgot the anxiety building up for tomorrow's event.

Frederick relaxed his hand. "Your training will not stop after you have been Knighted. On the contrary, that is when the real training begins. You must learn to work around your injury as best as you can. The time may come when we are called to war once more, and you must be ready."

War. I knew a war was on the horizon. A difficult one. And then there would be one right after it. I was not looking forward to it, not in the slightest. Who would? But when it came, I would take it on. For Donnel.

"I… Thank you, Frederick," I said, my tone cracking again, but this time for a different reason. "I made a promise to somebody recently. That I'd be a better person. Think this whole Knighting thing might be the first real step in that direction. I'm gonna honor that promise, no matter what."

Frederick nodded. "That is a good code to have. I shall be prepared to be impressed in the next few months. Get some rest, Alex. Tomorrow is a big day."

After that, Frederick left. I took a deep breath. The anxiety and nervousness still clumped together in my chest, but somehow it was more tolerable.

It'd been too long since I'd had a one-on-one conversation with Frederick. I made a mental note to do so more often in the future.

I left just a few minutes after Frederick, preparing myself mentally for tomorrow.

* * *

Taking one last deep breath, I entered the large room. It was a cathedral, emptied that day specifically for the event I was about to experience. Pews lined the carpeted isle as I took step after step. The robes I wore were a stark white. I was told all Knights wore something like it when they were first Knighted, and I was no exception. It was comfortable, at least; it would've sucked to have to go the whole ceremony in full plate armor.

Chrom and Robin stood before a giant statue of Naga, watching me as I got closer. To the left was Libra and another man I couldn't recognize. He was thin, wearing a brown robe. He hastily jotted down something on board he held in his hands, peering at me with small eyes.

As soon as I made it to Chrom and Robin, I knelt to one knee, lowering my head.

"Let us begin," Chrom said, as I heard the unsheathing of a blade. "On this day, I grant Knighthood to the man known as Alexander Jameson Wright." I could feel the blade of Falchion on my shoulder. The sharpness could be felt through the thin robes I wore. "Before my ancestors and Naga, I bestow this rank upon him." Falchion tapped against my other shoulder. "May he now say his vows aloud, so that those who came before us know what he has already sworn in his heart."

I was eerily calm as I brought my iron hand up to my chest. "On my honor, I swear to uphold the law and customs befitting of a Knight of Ylisse. I will protect the innocent, help the needy, and hunt the wicked. This I do swear. To my lord, Robin. I offer all that I can. My service is yours, should you have it."

The words rolled off my tongue so easily. It was amazing to believe that they had been rehearsed for days.

"I accept," Robin said.

"Thank you, my lord," I replied. "My services are now yours for as long as you will have them."

I felt a swelling feeling in my chest. Couldn't exactly tell what it was, but it was only amplified when I heard Chrom sheathe Falchion. His voice rang in my ears. "Arise, Sir Alexander, Knight of the Halidom of Ylisse!"

When I looked up, it was to the smiling faces of Chrom and Robin.

I couldn't help but smirk back.

* * *

"Holy Jesus, my fucking heart…" I groaned, leaning in the chair I sat as Robin stared at me amused from behind his desk. He'd gotten his own office and study when he was granted the position of Grandmaster Tactician, even if it wasn't completely official yet. Pretty spacious, too. Windows overlooked the city sprawl, and the fading light of the sunset illuminated the nice décor of the room. "It's been, what, seven hours since the whole ceremony? Still feel like I'm about to die."

"Heh. You seemed to weather the ceremony well enough when it was actually happening," Robin pointed out.

I looked at him. "Well, yeah. The whole heat of the moment thing's kinda worn off since then," I paused. "…My lord."

Robin frowned. "When we are alone, please refrain from calling me that. It feels wrong coming from your mouth."

I did the best mock bow I could while sitting down. "Whatever you command,  _my lord_."

" _Gods_ ," Robin groused, rubbing his temples. "I am beginning to wish I had asked for Sully instead. No, wait, she would have done the same as you are. There was no winning with this, was there?"

I waved a hand, chuckling. "Relax, Robin. I'll only call you that when we're… well, I dunno what we do after this, but I call you all formal and crap when that time comes. Whatever it is." I moved forward. "Now, there's a reason why I'm here, isn't there? Feel like I'm getting summoned a lot more than I used to be."

"Mmm," Robin hummed. "Yes. There is a reason. I believe that it is wise to consolidate all of our knowledge and come up with a strategy for the next few years."

Whatever levity I had left when Robin said that. "Until the Valmese invade."

"Until the Valmese invade," Robin echoed, agreeing. "First, I want you to answer some questions." He pulled something out of his pocket and placed it on the table. My eyes widened as the dark glasslike ball of Sable laid still on Robin's desk. "I am sure you remember this. Sable. What do you know about it?"

I shrugged. "All I know is that Marth used it in the Binding Shield some two-thousand years ago. Although it was just called the Darksphere back then. Some bastard named Gharnef used it to commit a ton of awful shit. That's… about it, really."

Robin nodded, picking it back up. "I realize I said questions, but I really only have one that I am interested in asking right now. All of those… prophecies, you told me about. Did they say anything about where the other gemstones are?"

I thought for a moment. "Two of them are in Valm. So, we won't be seeing those until the Valmese invade. There is one that's held by Basilio I think. Besides that, we have two of them already. One's in the Fire Emblem already."

Robin's face was blank for a moment. "…Then it appears I will stick with the plan I drafted a few days ago."

I stood up, feeling a little too excited to be sitting down anymore. "What kind of plan is that, Robin?"

"For the next two years, I will be preparing for the Valmese invasion," He stated simply, putting both hands on his desk. "I will build the Ylissean army under the guise of preparing for the worst. I imagine the nobility will throw a hissy fit if I overstep my boundaries, so I will have to be careful."

"Or you could sic me on them," I said, grinning. "I'd do it."

"Much as it would make things simpler, that would just get us both killed," Robin replied, semi-seriously. "Anyways, by the time the Valmese invade, hopefully they will have a heavily trained and numerous army to contend with."

I nodded. "It sounds good Robin. If there's anyone I know who can do that, it's you," I paused, looking down. "What're we gonna do about… Well, about the Grimleal? Grima?"

"And the Deadlord," Robin added, picking up Sable and looking into it for a brief moment. "As much as I am loathe to admit it, for now we can do nothing."

I was hoping he wouldn't say that. Not like I expected him to pull a miracle out of his ass, he's only human, but a part of me wished we could just march into Plegia and kick Grima's scaly backside.

Knew it was impossible without the Fire Emblem and all of Naga's gemstones, but I could still hold out hope.

"Not only would it be bad politically," Robin began. "It would also be logistically impossible as well; Ylisse was essentially conquered for a short time during the last war. It is already going to be difficult to raise an army over the next few years, let alone the next few months. I am not too keen on potentially starting another Plegian Crusade, and I do not think Chrom would either."

Curiosity got the better of me. "…How much does Chrom know, Robin?"

Robin looked down at his desk as soon as I mentioned Chrom. "Almost nothing, Alex."

"That bothers you, doesn't it?" I asked, maybe pressing a little too much.

"Of course it does!" Robin replied incredulously. "Do you think it would not? That man has given me everything I am. And I… I cannot even thank him for it like I would want to. Should he ask of me I would run straight into the Plegian Desert and fight the entirety of the Grimleal by myself. And yet…" Robin quickly shook his head. "No, I will not burden you with these feelings of mine. Not now."

"I'm here for you, man," I said lightly. "I'm your Knight now, remember? Swore an oath and all that shit. You need me to be there to talk my ear off, I'll do it."

… _I wonder how Cordy's doing._

After a few more seconds of silence, Robin spoke again. "…Thank you, Alex. That means a great deal."

"Hey, it's what I'm here for," I chuckled, looking up at the ceiling. "Huh. I remember the last time we were in a room like this. You were… well, those weren't the best of times."

"Are you referring to when I… lost my temper? That night, back in Flavia's fortress?"

I nodded. "That was a bit of a wake-up call. Can still remember it so clearly."

Robin put Sable down. "Alex, did what I say have a hand in making you leave?"

I rose a brow. "Why're you asking?"

"Just…" He closed his eyes. "I just want you to answer."

"Robin," I began, staring him straight in the eye once he opened them again. "My leaving was entirely my decision. And one I didn't make when I was in a good way. The dressing down you gave me a few months back was a drop in the water with all the other shit I was dealing with back then. What matters is that I'm here now. I'm not going to make stupid mistakes or assign myself more importance than I actually have. Because in the end, I'm just one guy. I'm a Knight, but I'm still just a guy. A human. And I'm not going to stop trying to improve myself. I'll never hold myself back again."

Until the day I can safely say I'm the person Donnel looked up to, I would continue to do just that.

Robin remained silent, looking at the floor. He took a deep breath. "That is… That is a good mindset to have, Alex," He turned to me. "It is good to know that you are committed to improvement. We will need it in the coming years, based on what you have told me." He gestured to the door. "You should get some sleep, Alex. It has been a long day for you. I will call for you when I need you next."

I nodded, turning around. "Whenever you need me, Robin. I'm here."

I left Robin's study quietly.

Despite the somber tone I'd left on, I had a feeling things were falling into place. Robin's plan was simple, yet effective. To my eyes, at least.

I just hoped it was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're at the twentieth Chapter! Holy shit, this fic might be the longest continuous fic I've ever written. Well, it will be. In a few weeks. Until then, I won't feel secure. Because the fic on my profile that is actually the longest is... kinda shit.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that! These next few chapters will be a little bit of a cool-down period until shit hits the fan again. It'll be nice practice for character interactions, specifically Alex and a certain other character.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Until then, see ya later!


	21. A Sober Man's Thoughts

" _This is an outrage!_ " The thin, bookish man in fancy clothes shouted, slamming his fist into the armrest of his chair.

I cringed as the Council Chamber descended into yelling and chaos. Really hoped the meeting would end soon, because I'd been standing in full armor for a good two hours.

To my right sat Robin, watching with a visibly clenched jaw and wide eyes as some of the shouting was aimed at him. And a few at me, but that wasn't important.

The Chamber itself was spacious, being able to hold the Lords, all fifty of themem, and the Hierarchs of the major territories, of which there were only five. Ylissean politics had three levels, as far as I could gather: The Lords, which governed areas in a territory, the Hierarchs, which governed a specific territory and ruled from the main city thereof, and the last was the Exalt. Well, Chrom still wasn't taking up that title, but he was essentially Exalt.

That's all that I could make out, at least. Beyond that, the Hierarchs and Lords sat on one side of the chamber, and Chrom with all of his advisors sat on the other. Me and Robin were to his right, while Frederick and Phila sat on either side of him. Several people I didn't know were alongside him as well. They'd been completely silent.

Apparently, it was customary for a Knight to attend a Council Meeting with his Lord should the Lord ask, so there I was. Personally, I just think Robin didn't want to be alone in a room full of people he didn't know. And since a good portion of the Lords were shouting and glaring at him, I couldn't blame him; I'd want someone by my side if things got ugly too.

" _Everyone, quiet!_ " Chrom yelled, silencing the room. He took a deep breath and looked at the Lord who'd basically started the whole thing. "Lord Octavian, would you please explain to me what seems so  _outrageous_  about my Tactician's proposal?"

"Y-Yes, Your Majesty," The man stuttered out once all the attention was focused on him. He quickly regained his cool, though, and glared in our direction. "This ups- This man has proposed we lend our men, our peasants, to train and fight in a standing army. Have we not just rid ourselves of war not long ago? I may not have agreed with many of Emmeryn's policies, but she was always committed to peace, a concept all of us surely believe in. And after how the last war left us, when we have finally been granted that peace, you want to prepare for another!? Frankly, Your Majesty, I propose we throw this conman and his one-handed foreign dog out the door!"

I tried not to let the comments get to my head. It wouldn't be any help whatsoever if I lost my shit in the middle of the meeting.

"My Tactician may have a point, Lord Octavian," Chrom began, looking down on the man. His face was schooled into a neutral expression. "And… as much as I would like to live up to Emmeryn's ideals, I am afraid that war, while not an inevitability, must be prepared for."

"Your Majesty!" Another noble spoke up, this one a woman wearing a blue dress. "Please, think about this! Following this foolish plan will only prompt other countries to attack! They will believe that we are planning invasions of our own!"

"Regna Ferox is our ally," Robin pointed out, folding his gloved hands in front of him. I was sure no one else noticed, but I could see the small trembling in his limbs. "And Plegia will be recovering from the power vacuum created by Gangrel's death. Peace is possible, but only if we ensure it."

"Oh, so the  _Tactician_ claims," A mocking voice came. One of the Hierarchs, it appeared. They all had these funny hats. "I may be the Hierarch of the north, but I have seen enough of the Feroxi to know that they value friendship as much as a bandit values a shower. Once they see our mounting forces, they will invade with naught a warning. Did you account for that in your…  _proposal_ , Grandmaster Tactician?"

I could see Robin grinding his teeth together. "I  _have_ , Noble Hierarch. Perhaps you should read it."

"Ah yes, you mean this piece of parchment laid out in front of me?" The Hierarch picked the paper up, holding it like a dead rat. "I do not have much hope in this plan, especially from someone such as you. Tell me, did you concoct it with your foreign friend there? The one who looks about ready to let loose, as it were?"

_Keep your expression level, boy scout._

"Hierarch,  _that is enough_ ," Chrom said, his voice dangerous as it rose in volume. "Hurl one more thinly-veiled insult, and I will excuse you from the rest of these proceedings. Am I clear?"

The Hierarch looked like he'd eaten something sour as he stood up and bowed. "…My apologies, Your Highness. I am merely concerned for the wellbeing of my people. To send them out such as your Tactician suggests would…"

"I shall take that under advisement," Chrom replied, waving him off and turning to Frederick. "Frederick, tell me, is Robin's plan possible?"

"Milord," Frederick said. "It would be an undertaking. It  _is_  possible, however. In several months we could have a force to be reckoned with, although I do question what use we would need it for. As Robin has said, Ylisse does not know of a nation that could pose a threat for the immediate future."

Chrom nodded, turning to Phila. "Phila, what of the Pegasus Knights? Could we have sufficient numbers soon?"

"I have been working with a subordinate of mine in regard to that, milord," Phila explained. "With luck, our decimated numbers will make a resurgence."

_Even though I barely know you, I'm glad you're still around, Phila._

Chrom appeared to think for a moment. Robin looked on, barely even breathing.

"…Robin's plan is one that I believe Ylisse needs," Chrom finally said, resolutely. Much to the dismay of several lords and the Hierarch that spoke out earlier. "I will give a trial run of sorts. If it proves to be effective and worth the effort, we will discuss it then. I will go over the specifics with my advisors and send you the orders within the month. That is all. This meeting is adjourned."

Never had I been more eager to get out of a room.

* * *

"So, I think that could've gone better," I remarked, running a hand through my hair.

Robin stared at me like I'd grown a second head. "Your propensity for understatement amazes me."

I chuckled nervously as the nobles walked out of the chamber, a few of them glaring at us as they walked by. Trying to keep myself from glaring back was difficult. Personally, I was just glad the meeting was over with. There's only so many times you could be called names before you snap, and I was getting dangerously close to my limit.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "I mean, Robin, only a few of those assh-  _nobles_  were really going after you. Everyone else was… actually kinda quiet. Even if they don't outright support you, I don't think they're against you."

Robin took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know, I know. I am just… I do not think I was made for politics. I am more comfortable out in the field, planning battle strategies. Not… whatever on Naga's green earth  _that_ whole affair was." Robin looked up at me. "I am grateful to Chrom for granting me this position, but if I knew political meetings were going to be like that, I may have mulled it over for longer."

"At least Chrom approved your plan," I pointed out optimistically. "The meeting could've gone a whole helluva lot worse. You know that."

"Of course I do," Robin said. "I am just not very good with people, especially in large groups. Look, I am still shaking!"

He held his arm up, and I could see the trembling even beneath his coat.

"If all political meetings are as exhausting as that, then I may die in just a few short years from the stress." Robin mumbled.

Before I could say anything, a certain blue-haired Lord barged into the conversation. "Robin! Gods, I hope you're doing alright." Chrom walked up to us, his arms folded and face awash with concern. "I apologize for the nobility's attitude. A lot of what they said was uncalled for."

Despite his earlier moaning, Robin was still able to muster up a smile. I raised a brow as he seemed to stand up straighter than just a moment before. "I am fine, Chrom. Just a little exhausted. It was a lot more than I was expecting."

Chrom smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. "Heh, I'm glad, my friend. I should've known that your proposal would upset them a great deal. We  _were_  just in a war, after all, and a standing army is an undertaking."

I stayed silent as I saw Robin visibly brighten at Chrom's words. "Maybe we should have waited a while longer. If we'd suggested it at the next meeting, then maybe they would not have been as…  _vitriolic_  in their disapproval."

Chrom released Robin. "I'm not so sure about that. Either way, they don't understand that we  _need_  to be prepared. Gods know I want to uphold Emm's ideals, but… After the last war, I want to be prepared should another power invade us. We were caught off guard and had to ask the Feroxi for help, all because we didn't have an army to speak of. Not that I'm against asking for help if I need it, but it would be good to rely on ourselves for the most part."

I stepped in. "I'm surprised you approved it, considering those bast-  _I mean_ , those nobles who were shouting the entire fucking time."

Chrom chuckled. "Well, those nobles, and that Hierarch who spoke way more than he should've, hail from the North and East. From what I've gathered, the South, West, and Center all support the plan Robin developed. With their support, we can at least begin a trial run, as I said. Once the naysayers see the results of it, I'm sure they'll fall in line."

"God willing," I said, adjusting a few fingers on my iron hand. "I'm no political expert or some crap like that, but a political deadlock over this would be  _very_ bad."

"And to think you were trying to be optimistic just a few moments ago," Robin said, giving me the eye.

I shrugged. "Expect the worst but hope for the best. Words to live by. Besides, I was trying to get you to calm down. You still shaking, by the way?"

"I am fine," Robin repeated once he saw Chrom's frown. "I just needed a few moments to recover. Besides, now that that meeting is over, we have another event to prepare for."

I raised a brow. "What event?" I turned to Chrom as he laughed nervously and looked away. "…Oh. Oh shit."

"…My wedding, you mean?" Chrom asked, his smile a bit strained. "Is it… Is it bad that I'm more nervous about that than creating an army?"

"I've seen you face down an entire army of Plegians, cut through dozens of Risen, and run to the aid of burning villages with no fear at all, and you're getting nervous about  _this_?" I asked incredulously.

Chrom groaned, covering his face with his hands. "Yes, I know! But I can't help it! I've never seen myself as a married man, but when I proposed to Sumia, I… Gods, this is ridiculous! I'm marrying the woman I love, and my heart refuses to calm down at the thought of it!"

I couldn't help but let out a laugh. Liked to think I'd be a bit more cool-headed if I ever got married, although considering the unlikelihood of that, I probably would never know.

_I know of someone who would want nothing more than to meet you, one last time._

Lucina's words echoed through my mind, making the smile on my face drop. I hadn't thought about it in a while, but… Well, her words were telling.

And for some reason, when I thought of marriage, my thoughts immediately went to a certain red-haired Pegasus Knight.

I shook my head, shuffling those thoughts away for later. Besides, Robin's blank and far away expression was starting to make me worried.

"Robin, you okay?" I asked, waving my left hand in front of his face. "Hey, come back down to Earth, spaceman."

Robin blinked, looking from me to Chrom. "…My apologies. I think I will take my leave now. Alex, come by my study later. I'll be giving a once over on the plans when you do," He bowed stiffly. "I will see you later, Chrom."

And just like that, he left. Chrom watched him leave, a confused expression on his face. "…Is he really okay, Alex?" Chrom asked me. "I'm concerned. He's been like this since the end of the war, whenever I see him."

I had an inkling, but I wouldn't tell Chrom. It wasn't my right to. So I shrugged. "Meh, he's got a lot on his mind, I think. He'll be fine."

I made a mental note to talk to him later.

* * *

Chrom's wedding was to be held later in the month. June 29th, to be exact. Most of the preparations were to be made by servants, but as one of the Groomsmen, I was going to help out.

Robin, though, was made Best Man. Considering what I suspected, it was probably a double-edged sword.

I'd moved. Used to live in the barracks, but since becoming Robin's personal Knight, I was allowed a room in the castle. Right next to Robin's.

It was really nice. Unfortunately, it opened the door for something I didn't expect.

I glared down at my boots. I'd just woken up, put on all my clothes, and just when I put my boots on, I felt something  _squish_.

"…No," I murmured, voice steadily rising. I took the boot off and rummaged my hand around in it. I pulled out a frog. "No. No  _fucking way_."

The frog stared gormlessly at me. Little fucker was lucky I didn't take a step on it, otherwise he'd be a goddamn pancake. There was only one person I knew who could've done it. If I was wrong, well, may God help me.

* * *

" _Hello, Lissa_ ," I said through clenched teeth, forcing a smile. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about frogs inside of boots, would you?"

If Lissa was unnerved by my Cenobite-looking expression, she didn't show it. Instead, she looked coyly at me, batting her eyelashes like she was the picture-perfect image of perfection. "Why, no. Why would a princess like me know anything about that?"

_Jesus Christ, she's the spawn of Satan._

"Oh, I dunno. It's just that I found a frog in my boot when I was getting ready today." I looked her in the eye. "I was just wondering if the Princess who's known for putting frogs in people's crap would know about something like that. Like, say,  _if they were the one that did it_."

"My, accusing a Princess of such a thing! Have you no shame, Sir Alexander?" Lissa huffed, putting on a haughty expression. "Perhaps you shouldn't put your boots out where frogs can so easily jump in!"

I just stared at her for a few seconds, completely dumbfounded. "…Yes, a frog, which lives in swamps and small ponds, jumped all the way into the city to land in my boot. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Well, maybe you should-  _Snrk,_ " The next thing I knew, she was laughing so hard I fully expected her to start rolling on the floor. "Oh man! T-The look on your face! I can see it now!"

"Be careful about laughing too hard, Princess," I said, unamused, crossing my arms. "I've heard people can die if they do it too much. Suffocation and all that good stuff."

"I-I don't care! T-This is too much!" Another round of giggling echoed through the hallway we were in.

"How in the everloving  _fuck_ did you get a frog in here!?" I asked loudly. "The only place I know that can have them is that pond you showed me when I first came here!  _How!?_ "

"Oh, oh, I-I, gimme a minute!" She said breathlessly.

I stood there, my arms crossed angrily as Lissa regained her composure. Once she did, I finally got my answer.

"It was actually really easy!" Lissa began. "All I had to do was get one yesterday, keep him in some water, and just slip him in your boot. If only I could see your face… Oh, that would've been awesome!"

"Yeah. For you. I've gotta clean the slime outta my shoes after I'm done with this. Why the hell would you do that beyond making me mad, though?" I questioned.

At this, Lissa began fidgeting. "Er, well, we haven't talked in a long time, y'know? Not since, eh, since you got injured."

My anger evaporated. I trailed my left hand along the scars on my face, and looked at my iron hand. "…Well, you got a funny way of asking for conversation." I rubbed the back of my neck. "I never got to thank you for that, did I?"

"Well, Mari did most of the work," Lissa claimed. "All I did was keep your wounds from reopening. I know your probably don't like to hear about it, but… I've never really had so much trouble healing someone before."

"I'm here now," I said, leaning against the wall. "That's what matters." I looked at her. "This is probably a bit stupid of me, but do you feel bad about… all of this?" I motioned to the scars across my face, and the ones below my tunic.

Lissa paused, frowning, before nodding. "I, I know there's no reason for me to feel that way. Just kinda wished we could've done something about that. I mean, now you're all…"

"I like to think my scars make me more attractive, don't you think?" I said quickly, attempting to lighten the mood.

After a few seconds, Lissa was smiling and giggling again. "Heh, maybe. I'm sure Cordelia likes them."

My expression broke. "H-How the fu- Wait, do you think she would- You know what, nevermind. Don't even know why I went this long anyway. I'll see ya later, alright?"

"Hehe, yeah, see you later! Say hi to Cordelia for me!" She waved.

I may have left that conversation more flustered than when it began.

* * *

The preparations were going well. The wedding was going to take place in the grand hall of the castle, apparently, and it was already looking good. In my opinion, at least. True to my word, I helped out where I could. Propping some of the decorations up, moving around tables, shit like that. I only stopped when I got… it was actually hard to describe. Just got a letter from Gaius telling me to meet him in some tavern.

I was reluctant to leave, but in the end, I decided to go. Gaius could be a little much at times, but he was fun to be around. Most of the time.

Entering the tavern, I was immediately hit with the smell of alcohol and the sound of a crowd. It was busy that day. Luckily for me, a familiar thief made his way through the crowd easily, smiling when he spotted me. When he waved me over, I reluctantly walked towards him.

"Sailor! Knew you'd come. Get a seat; I've already ordered a couple drinks."

Looking warily at the patrons, we took a seat at one of the corner tables. A few moments later, a mug was placed in front of me.

I took a deep breath and looked at Gaius. "Alright, Gaius, I'll bite. Why'd you ask me to come here?"

"'Cause you're running yourself ragged working on that wedding," He answered straightly for once, sipping at his mug. He grimaced. "Gods, this stuff is horrible. Wonder if sugar'd make it taste better… Anyway, thought you could use some downtime. Y'know, something to take the edge off. Maybe give you a little advice too."

I looked at the mug on the table. Normally, I'd balk at the idea of drinking anything alcoholic, but considering I'd already had some before, and nothing horrible happened… I shrugged, grabbing it by the handle and taking a swig. It burned going down my throat, and I grunted when I put it down. "The fuck is that?"

"Hell if I know, I just asked for the special," Gaius nonchalantly explained. "It ain't like that Altean Red, but it'll get you shit-faced in no time if you drink too much, that's for sure. Good thing I only ordered one round. 'Sides, if we got all drunk my advice wouldn't really stick."

I stared at the crowd for a few seconds before turning back to Gaius. "Advice? Advice for what?"

Gaius smiled. "All this talk of marriage got me thinking. Most of the Shepherds ain't got someone special. Yet, at least. Thought I'd start with you since you're my friend."

My mouth opened slightly. "You… You're gonna-"

"I'm gonna teach you how to get yourself a woman!" Gaius proclaimed proudly. "Or a man, if that's your preference. Got experience with both."

"Fucking hell, man! Too much information!"

"I'm just saying, I can tell you whatever you wanna know," Gaius said placatingly. "Now for you… Hmm," He looked at me, up and down. "Yeah, you definitely got this whole 'weary soldier' look about you."

I leaned back in my chair and looked annoyingly back at the other patrons for a moment. "It's my fuckin' scars, isn't it?" I asked, waving my iron hand over my face. "Gives off that vibe, right? And the hand?"

"That look has its own charms, for sure," Gaius said, rubbing his chin. "You could play it up. Act all broke-like. Girls love that kinda stuff. And guys, well, maybe not so much. Not in my experience."

"Okay, look," I said, holding my hand up. "I don't know why I'm even doing this right now, but lemme just say, I'm into women, alright? I'll keep going because maybe you do have something that's useful to say, just keep that in mind."

_It's also because you think it's funny._

Maybe it was because my thoughts drifted to a certain redhead when Gaius started talking. I didn't know. It was a bit late to stop him now, anyway.

Gaius pursed his lips. "Well, we got that down then. Anyway, like I said, you got that look. Now, I dunno if it's because women like to build a husband or lover up, but if you got that whole broken look, they'll wanna fix you. Make you whole. Crap like that. Then the love'll blossom."

"Hold up." I interrupted. "You're saying all I gotta do to get a girl to like me is act like a damaged sponge?"

"I mean, I wouldn't put it quite  _that_ way," He shrugged. "What I mean to say is that you gotta act like you've got problems, yeah? And then they come along and 'fix' your problems. It's all very complicated, y'know, lots a thought goes into all this."

"I'm not sure if any thought goes into this."

"I've been around, Sailor." Gaius said, leaning back in his chair and taking another sip. "Been all across Archanea. Gotten to know men and women like the back of my hand. Sometimes that helps with thieving, y'know, get into a person's head while you're stealing their kid's candy right form under them. Sometimes it helps on lonely nights when you just want some company. What I'm saying is, I know my stuff when it comes to this. At least I hope I do."

I nodded, frowning. I took another swig from my mug, my head already starting to feel a little foggy. I'd never gotten drunk before, and I wasn't going to get absolutely plastered in that tavern, so I put it down. "Listen, Gaius, not that I don't appreciate the advice. It's just that… I don't think that'll work with me."

"Why not?" Gaius asked. "Beyond that whole soldier look to you, you gotta lot of masculine charm. Hell, if you grew a beard, I'm sure some women'd be all over you. Like flies to sweets. Damn flies…"

Shrugging, I sighed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. I'm just…" I didn't think that kind of strategy would work on Cordelia-

I widened my eyes. "Oh… Oh, so that's what that is…"

"What?"

"I…I think I've just figured something out about myself," I mumbled.

I didn't know why it took so long for me to figure out. Nor did I know why I figured it out when I did. All I knew was that it was there. Every time she walked by my heart skipped a goddamn beat. Her eyes. Her lips.

"Hmm," Gaius hummed, looking at me suspiciously. "Huh, would you look at that. Already got someone on your mind, don't you Sailor? Someone who won't fall for what I just told you. Lemme guess… It's Red, isn't it? The Pegasus Knight?"

My jaw dropped. How in the fuck-

A knowing smile crossed Gaius' face. "How'd I know? You two used to talk all the time during the war. And that look you just had now… Didn't I tell you that I know men and women like the back of my hand? Ain't like you're very hard to read, anyway."

I looked away from Gaius.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone. Don't worry, Sailor," Gaius waved off. "Hell, I wish you luck. Kinda starting to think this whole thing was pointless, cause they're ain't a way in hell you're gonna woo her with that whole shtick I just told you. For her? Gotta keep acting like you have. Let nature take its course and all that."

I abruptly stood up. "I think I'll keep preparing for the wedding, Gaius. Thanks for… well, whatever the hell this was."

"Ah, guess I went a little far, huh?" Gaius waved as I began walking away. "Don't worry, Sailor! I'm rooting for you!"

I left the tavern flustered. That was happening a lot.

* * *

Working in the middle of a royal hall was physically taxing. And maybe a bit boring. But it was better than having to keep a certain someone away from Robin.

"You're stalking Robin."

"Impressive. One wonders how you could find that out all on your own."

Well, it wasn't technically one of my duties. I kind of labelled it under 'keeping Robin safe'. And as far as I could tell, he knew Tharja was stalking him. He didn't like it, to say the least. He also not-too-subtlety hinted that I should try to do something about it. So, there I was, talking with an anti-social dark mage next to a pillar in the middle of the royal hall. The conversation was going nowhere fast.

I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Okay, lemme just get straight to the fucking point, then. Stop stalking him. He doesn't like it."

Tharja hugged a massive tome close to her barely covered chest. That fucking outfit made it hard to look at her. "So you say. And yet I haven't heard it from his mouth. I'd take his words over those of another boring, shell-shocked soldier."

My lip twitched. "I'm his Knight, dipshit. He fucking told me to tell you because that's how uncomfortable you make him."

"Knight? More like personal lap-dog," She replied, scowling. "What kind of Knight fights with only one hand?"

_By God, I'm going to fucking murder you-!_

I stomped on the rage building in me and took a deep breath instead of indulging my instincts. "I just… Fuck, why are you even doing this? Why stalk him? He doesn't deserve your bullshit!"

"Ah, so the lap-dog is curious? I'm almost scared to tell you; I don't think you can comprehend the answer." She sneered like a fucking villain. "But if you must know… The moment I saw him, I felt and saw something only I could. Deep within him. Waiting to be released. He's different from every other man I have ever seen," She snapped out of her reverie to glare at me. "Someone like you could not possibly understand such a thing. Leave me be."

"…No," I said simply, crossing my arms. "In fact, what you just said makes me want to keep an eye on you. You need a therapist and a shit ton of pills, lady."

"Hmph," Tharja huffed. "Usually people leave after the first round of insults. Yet here you are, still standing before me. Perhaps you enjoy it?"

_I'd enjoy slamming my iron hand into your stupid face, but I think that's looked down upon around here._

"No. No, I don't fucking enjoy it. Right now, I'd rather talk to literally anyone else. In the entire universe." I sighed, rubbing one of my temples. "Just please stop stalking Robin. If I don't stop you, he might resort to more drastic measures."

"Like what?" Tharja asked, leaning against the pillar. "Would he bother to talk to me himself instead of sending his lap-dog to deal with me? I would prefer that. It'd… give me a chance to get closer to him."

"Seriously, what the fuck is so special about him?" I snarled, frustrated. "Besides being one of the smartest guys I know, he doesn't really have much!"

That wasn't entirely true. I knew Robin was the Vessel of Grima, but beyond that he was basically just a guy. And my friend.

"I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand," Tharja reiterated painfully. "Your darkness is just like everyone else's; just a lonely, weary soldier. You're not special, you know that?"

I looked beyond Tharja at the pillar behind her. "…Yeah. I do. Had to learn that the hard way. How about you?"

Tharja looked surprised for a moment before her familiar scowl returned. "Whatever. You can't tell me what I can and cannot do."

"By God, I hope Ylisse has restraining orders," I mumbled, adjusting a few fingers on my iron hand. "Don't make me ask you this again, Tharja. Leave him the fuck alone. I don't wanna take this up with Chrom or Frederick."

"They won't do anything. I haven't done anything that warrants their attention," Tharja waved off, turning around and sauntering down the hallway. "Anyways, I have better things to do than entertain Robin's one-handed lap-dog. Don't bother speaking with me again."

Once she was gone, I had to resist the urge to slam my fist into a wall. Never before had a person infuriated me so much that I wanted to clobber their stupid face in. I took several deep breaths, trying to get myself under control. There were better things to get pissed off over.

The conversation with Tharja spoiled whatever plans I had to help out more. I spent the rest of that day training.

* * *

"Okay, this crap is  _finally_ done." I placed two teacups on the small table. "Careful; still hot."

Cordelia nodded, smiling. "Thank you, Alex. This is very kind of you."

"Eh, I've heard that drinking tea is just something you do here. Should probably thank Maribelle, she gave me the leaves."

The wedding was going to take place soon. Before that, there was going to be a sort of Bachelor Party, and before  _that_ , I had some time off. Something of a rarity considering all the running around I was doing like I was a headless chicken. Nonetheless, I took that time to unwind. And what better way to unwind than spend time with a friend?

_You know you want to be more. But not yet, boy scout._

One step at a time.

As was often the case, Cordelia was the instigator of our little meetup. Not that I minded. It was just a little on short notice. Decided to brew some tea out of the leftover stuff I had. My room in the castle came with a tea set, so doing it all was actually pretty simple.

She wasn't even wearing her armor; she wore the stuff under it. She, well, she looked really good in it. As if that was any surprise.

So," I began, sitting down. "What can I help you with today?"

Cordelia took a sip from her cup. "Er, well, I had a small amount of free time, and I wanted to see how you were doing. I've heard a lot about what what's happened since we came back."

I nodded. "Yep. Made a goddamn  _Knight._  Even if it was just so Robin could have a little bit more legitimacy, I'm still kinda… daunted by it, I think. Haven't even done much except help with the wedding and crap."

I'd helped Robin with his military proposal, but beyond that he hadn't asked me to do much outside of helping the wedding where I could. And shooing Tharja away like a rabid raccoon.

Cordelia winced at the mention of Chrom and Sumia's wedding, and I cursed myself for mentioning it. Seeing her do that made me want to punch myself in the face.

I held my hand up. "Actually, I kinda wanna know what you've been doing since we last talked. Sounds like you already know all about what I've been doing but haven't really heard a lot about you."

Cordelia sighed and leaned forward in her chair. "I… I do have a lot on my plate, so to speak. You know how the Ylissean Pegasus Knights were… Well, Commander Phila has been bringing in new recruits to help restore our order's numbers. Only, with Commander Phila being busy with her position, the instruction of new recruits has fallen to me."

_Ain't that interesting…_

"So basically, you gotta teach a bunch of greenhorns how to fly and fight on a Pegasus?" I summarized, leaning forward.

"That is the gist of it, yes." Cordelia sighed again. "It has been frustrating. Half of them have not even seen a Pegasus before they arrived, and every time I look at them I feel like… Gah, it's hard to explain. It feels like they're…"

"…You think of your old comrades, don't you?"

Cordelia looked surprised, her eyes wide, before her expression turned quizzical. "I… Gods, maybe I do. They were… They were my family, I think. Despite all the hazing, they really did care. I don't know. Maybe they remind me of them. I can't… I don't want the same thing to happen to them."

"And it won't," I reassured her, taking a sip. "You're a good teacher, Cordy. You got a good head on your shoulders. Hell, you had the patience to put up with my bullshit back on Whiteford, so I know their, er, inexperience won't get to you too badly. Beyond that? Well, fuck it, I believe in you. You got this, alright?"

For a second, it looked like she was about to cry. Before she did, though, she took a deep breath to calm herself. "No… No, I won't go crying into your arms here. But… Thank you, Alex. That means a lot."

_Hell, I wouldn't mind if you did._

I shook my head. "Don't mention it, Cordy. You've done a lot more for me anyway. So, uh, anything else interesting happen?"

Before I asked that, Cordelia had managed a smile. A smile that made my heart skip a beat looking at it. The minute I asked that, though, her mood became sad.

"I… Well, there is one more thing, if you are willing to listen," She said stiffly.

I was concerned to say the least. Reaching my arm over the table, I put my hand on her shoulder. "Only if you really wanna, if it makes you so sad I can actually  _feel_ it."

"No. No, I want to say it," Cordelia whispered. "It's, it's about Sumia's wedding. She's… she's made me the Maid Of Honor."

It took me a second to realize what that meant, and I cringed. First, Chrom makes Robin his Best Man, and then Sumia makes Cordelia the Maid of Honor. It was like the two of them were blind and deaf to the things going on around them. Honestly, for a moment, I felt angry.

It vanished as quickly as it came. Still, I was a little annoyed. Cordelia didn't deserve it. Neither did Robin.

"…Well, fuck," I said bluntly, rubbing the back of my head before adjusting a few fingers on my iron hand. "That's… damn, Cordy, I'm not gonna lie to you, that actually really sucks."

What I really wanted to do was hug her right then and there.

Cordelia shook her head vehemently. "It's an honor. I really am happy for them. Sumia deserves to be happy, and Prince Chrom… I'm not sure if he could have chosen anyone more perfect. I just… Sometimes I just wish I could have…"

"I know, Cordy," I interrupted. "Just give it some time. I'm not saying you'll get over him completely. Hell, maybe you never will. But if there's one thing that's been hammered into my head the past year, it's that you shouldn't focus on what  _could_ be. You gotta focus on the here and now. Maybe make sure the world's a better place than you left it. That's… just what I think, at least."

Cordelia was silent.

Honestly, I wish I could do more. I wish I could be more. I wanted to walk over and wipe the tears off her face and embrace her, as she did to me. But then wasn't the right time. Hell, maybe I wasn't even the right person for it. Still, I was gonna try my damnedest to get Cordelia and Robin through Chrom's wedding.

Even if it fucking killed me.

I doubted it would, but it was the thought that counted.

* * *

"…and here's to my ol' buddy Chrom! Hopefully his marriage don't crash an' burn!" Vaike declared from the head of the table, as Chrom looked on with a bemused expression.

All the groomsmen had come to the Bachelor Party, even some people I didn't recognize. They stood out a lot, though, what with their fancy clothes. However, I doubt they'd stick around for long; the Shepherds were pushing them out slowly but surely.

There was an assortment of food and drinks on the table, and in a moment, I was going to join Vaike in taking as much as I could get.

_Funny. Just a few months ago you would've vomited at the mere mention of alcohol, and now you're planning on drinking._

The whole thing was being held in the Barracks, away from the decadence of the Castle. Had to say, I missed the old place. Nothing could compare to its dingy and spartan rooms. The Castle may've been fancy, but sometimes you just wanted something simpler.

"Alex, do not get too inebriated," Robin said beside me, looking at me accusingly. "I realize that in this environment it is almost guaranteed, but restrain yourself."

I waved my left hand lazily. "Heh, don't worry about me, Robin. I'll be fine. Really, I think it's Vaike you should worry about. Bastard's drank, what, four cups of wine? Jesus Christ."

It didn't take long for the party to get loud, with all the drinks around. Only Stahl was quiet, and he just sort of sat in the corner drinking by himself.

"I wish Vaike was the only thing I had to worry about," Robin mumbled. "Just exercise caution, okay?"

I smiled placatingly. "Seriously, stop worrying. I'm just gonna have a couple drinks and maybe head off to bed," I paused. "…How bad can that be?"

* * *

"Chrom."

"Alex?" Chrom said, surprised. "What're you-!"

I placed a hand on the handsome man's shoulder, staring him in the eye. "Listen to me, Chrom. We need… fuck, man, we need to do something, but I can't remember what. I can't… fuckity fuck, something something Constantinople."

Chrom raised a brow, his jaw slowly falling open. "Constanti-what? Alex, how many drinks have you had?"

I couldn't stop giggling after he said that. I didn't even know why, it was just  _that_ funny. "Right! Right, you have-" I burped. "You have no fuckin' clue what the hell I'm talkin' 'bout, huh?"

"Listen, Alex," Chrom said, pushing my hand off his shoulder rudely. "You're clearly drunk. Maybe you should go-"

"Fuck, you wanna talk 'bout drunk? Just talk to my dad. Before I left he was a fuckin' master at that shit," I replied. "A-Anyway, have ya seen Pelican anywhere? Coulda sworn he told me something important. Something really important. Ya could see it in his eyes. Jus' can't remember what. Can't remember a lotta things right now actually. Fuck,  _Dove!_ Where are you!?"

I left a confused Chrom. I had a bird to find.

* * *

"Fuck, Vaike man, I can't tell my ass from my face."

I knew Vaike said something, but with his face stuck to the table I couldn't tell what. I kept talking anyway.

"It's kinda making it hard to tell where he is, though. Fuck, I know his name, goddamnit!" I half-shouted. "I know it! He… it was a bird, yeah, a bird! Fucking what, though. Was it a Tit?"

Vaike muttered something on the table.

"Vaike, the fuck you just say 'bout Cordy!?" I nearly screamed, glaring down at the muscle man accusingly. "Ya know, I could stare into those eyes all day, man. Those fucking  _eyes_. Red oceans. Can't stop myself."

Another grumble from Vaike. I leaned over the table in my best intimidation pose.

"Ya listen to me, Vaike. I'mma find Canary. And when I do, I'mma tell him what I think of him. He's gotta know. He's been quiet all day, hasn't he? Gotta keep him and Cordy from collapsing. Fuckin' love, man. Never get involved with that shit. It'll fuck you up. Kinda like this wine. Holy shit, Vaike, you're fucking multiplying-!"

* * *

"Blackbird! It's you!" I giggled, hugging Dove from behind.

The white-haired tactician sputtered, turning around and calming down when he saw me. "Gods… You gave me a heart attack, Alex. …By Naga, you are drunk, aren't you? How many drinks have you had?"

"Pssh!" I waved my iron hand around, and Robin avoided it. Did he think I was going to hit him? Sparrow was silly. "I dunno. Maybe a couple? Wait, maybe more than a few. A lot of 'em were red. The drinks, I mean. Kinda like Cordy's eyes. Ya ever look into 'em? She's always kinda sad. And then that makes me sad. Crow, why the fuck am I crying right now?"

Through the tears I could see Robin frown at me. "I am not sure what I am concerned for more: the fact you keep calling me something else or how you went from happy to sad in less than a second."

"Aww, who cares about that, man!" I said, my mood changing instantly. It was easy, once you got used to it. "What matters is you, ya know? You're… like, the one thing keeping us from fallin' apart, ya know? Without you, where the fuck would we be?"

Raven furrowed his brow. "I… appreciate that, Alex, but you are clearly too drunk to be up and about. We need to get you to-"

"No, no, no!" I replied forcefully, grabbing his shoulders. "You're goddamn important, y'know that, right? I'm not, but you are. And I don't care about your lil' crush on Chrom."

"How did you-!"

"Dude, it's fuckin'  _obvious_. You and Cordy both. But you know what? I won't let ya be all sad and shit. Look at me with those goddamn red eyes! You're amazing, and anyone who doesn't see that's a fuckin' moron. There's plenty of other fish 'n the see, man. Sure you'll find a nice guy or girl. I ain't fuckin' judging about that; you're my fucking friend, hear me? And I'd be very sad to see ya in the same place as me just a few… fuck, was it weeks or months? Fuck it, this fucking wine is giving me Alzheimers!"

Robin looked down, like he was about to cry. "A-Alex, I really do not think you…"

"You're awesome!" I repeated, shaking him for emphasis. "I mean, look at your coat! It's fuckin' awesome! Fuck, what was your name. Dove? No, not that. Pelican? Maybe. Hey, Raven, fuckin'…"

Suddenly, I felt woozy, nearly falling to my knees. If Robin was there to hoist me up, I probably would have collapsed completely.

"F…Fuckin' hell, there's, like, five of you, Robin…" I mumbled out, before blackness overtook my vision.

* * *

I woke up to a world of pain.

"Jesus… What the hell…?" I mumbled. Light pierced through a window, directly into my eyes. I hissed at the accursed burning sensation and rolled over.

Unfortunately for me, that's where the bed I was on ended, and I toppled onto the floor. The pounding in my head wouldn't stop.

The last thing I remembered was me drinking…

_Oh… Oh God._

The door clicked open, and I winced at the creaking sound it made.

"Ah, you are awake. Good," Robin said, smiling. "I was beginning to wonder whether you would wake up at all."

I stared at him blankly for several moments, my brain not comprehending anything. In the end, all I managed to do was sigh. "Okay… Okay, I know I got drunk last night. What happened?"

Robin entered completely, and I cringed at the sound of the door closing. Why did everything seem to make my headache worse?

"If you must know," He began. "You drank quite a bit, although I suppose that is obvious to you. All I know from the scattered reports I have is that you babbled incessantly about eyes, specifically Cordelia's, and that you ran around the hall looking for birds. All in all, it was entertaining." Robin laughed at my dour expression. "Please, I am sure it could have been much worse."

My lips thinned and I nodded, consenting his point. I groaned, rubbing my temples. "God, fucking… Do you have any headache medication, or something?"

"I do believe that there is something to help you with your hangover, yes," Robin confirmed. "Unfortunately, they are back in the castle." He gave me a somewhat pitying look. "A shame. If only you had listened to me, you would not be in this state…"

I shook my head before realizing how bad of an idea doing that was. It felt like rocks had been dumped in my skull and I just shook them around because it was funny.

"Fine, whatever… I think I'll be able to make it. J-Just don't tell anyone I'm…" Robing chuckled. "What?"

"I do not think anyone is even conscious enough to understand me except you, so you are safe for the time being," He helpfully informed me. "However, you will want to make haste to the castle. It is only a matter of time before they all awaken and are in the same position as you."

"…F-Fuck!" I stuttered out, clambering to my feet.

There was one thing Robin said to me that stuck in my brain, even as I made my way to the castle with the world's worst headache; I had been talking about Cordelia. That wasn't that bad, depending on what I said. Don't know why I'd be talking about her eyes specifically although, like the rest of her, I found them to be gorgeous.

I just really hope I didn't say something stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this is the longest thing I've ever continuously published. I doubt this fic will reach 1M by the time it's done, but it'll be long. Long enough, I think.
> 
> Anyway, a longer chapter for you all. Hope you enjoyed the Chaotic Good that is Drunk!Alex. We probably won't see him again for a long time.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Guess that's it, see ya guys later!


	22. Here Comes The Bride

Lazily, I moved my left hand to my forehead to shield my eyes from the sunlight. The sky in front of me was a beautiful mix of oranges, reds, and yellows that seemed to enhance the structure that I stood in front of. The light cascaded down the elegant stonework and glass like a spectral river.

Castle Ylisse was already decorated with colors and banners, celebrating the marriage that was going to happen in just an hour at most. Noblemen and women had swarmed in front of us just a little while before, but thankfully the guests arriving had slowed down to a trickle, allowing me to see the view unimpeded.

It really was a breathtaking sight.

"…Hey, Alex, you've been staring at the sky for the past ten minutes," Stahl said next to me, looking at me strangely. "Are you alright?"

"Aw, he'll be fine," Vaike waved off, folding his arms in front of him. "Teach didn't train a space case. Probably just moonin' over Cord-!"

"Vaike, say one more word and by God I'll have your head on my mantlepiece." I said suddenly, turning to the Fighter. For once in his life, he was actually fully clothed. "And what about when Sully trained you? Didn't she kick your ass a little while back?"

"Gods, both of you…" Stahl sighed, running a hand through his greenish-brown hair. "I'm starting to think we'll scare people away."

"Y- Wh- Alex, if we weren't out in public right now, I'd whoop your-!"

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before, Vaike." I waved off. "Still, I think Sully likes men who she can beat. Think she said something like 'Weakness Turns Her On', or something. Guess you got a chance after all, huh?"

It was hard to tell with his complexion, but I could've sworn he was blushing. He turned away from me, grumbling something incoherent.

Vaike wasn't the only one in clothes, though. Well, that was obvious. I should've said  _fancy_ clothes. We weren't wearing the kind of stuff I'd seen noblemen wear, but it was definitely more decadent than what I was used to. It may have come from a lifetime of wearing nothing but T-Shirts, but I was more than happy with a simple tunic and pants if I wasn't in armor. Besides, anything beyond that tended to be itchy, and I'd be damned if I had to deal with that. I wasn't even sure how Chrom and Virion could stand it.

However, since Robin practically forced me to wear the clothes I was wearing to greet the guests, I had no choice but to deal with the itchiness. For the night, at least.

I may have been spacing out just a second ago, comparing the red of the sunset to the color of Cordelia's hair, but Stahl put me to shame in that regard. As we were greeting one of the last noblewomen to make it to the castle, I noticed he didn't even say anything. Vaike was still pouting, so that left only me to ask about it.

"Stahl," I called his name, placing my iron hand on his shoulder gently. "You still with me, man?"

"H-Huh?" He sputtered, his eyes opening wide at my intrusion. "O-Oh, it's nothing, Alex. Just thinking."

"…Uh huh." I nodded. "Sure. Just thinking. What about?"

"Well," Stahl began, twiddling his fingers. "I was actually wondering if they have anything that…  _taguel_ can eat in there. I know Panne probably won't even show up; she's not very good with other people. She always just kinda sits in the back when everyone's eating."

An image of a man's throat being gnawed out by a giant rabbit flashed through my mind as Vaike snickered to my left.

"Ha! Looks like Stahl's… well, I dunno how to say it, ol' buddy, but I think you're barkin' up the wrong tree…" Vaike paused, a thoughtful look on his face. "Wait, is that how you use it? Eh, whatever. Anyway, Panne? Ya got strange tastes."

"I'd say," I grumbled, looking at the floor.

"I'm just trying to be considerate!" Stahl replied, brows furrowed. "When everyone's eating together, we all grow closer. Just didn't want to leave her out of it because she's different. She can't eat a lot of the things we can eat."

"Yeah, maybe we could throw a person into a stew and have her drink it-  _Oh my God._ " I put a hand over my mouth and swallowed. "Okay, can we stop talking about this? It's activating my fight-or-flight response."

Vaike looked at me like I was a mutant. "…Can't be the only one who saw that. How 'bout you, Stahl?"

"Do you think I should get her some carrots and radishes?" Stahl asked to no one in particular. "Wait, no, maybe potatoes? But I thought she couldn't eat potatoes… Hmm…"

"Er, Stahl? You alright over there?" Vaike called to no avail. "Both of you just keep spacing out. Gettin' all kinds of creepy."

"I can be plenty creepy without spacing out, Vaike," I said, making my voice more gravelly than usual. "Keep talking and you won't be waking up in the morning."

"Teach can take you on, Alex, even when he's sleepin'!" Vaike said, fist pumping. Could've sworn I saw a small tear open in his shirt when he did that. "Anyway, ya think anyone else is comin' up here? Been a while since we greeted anyone."

I looked at the empty courtyard. I hesitated to go inside; it was kind of peaceful out there, and royal hall would be all kinds of loud and crowded, especially before the ceremony began. In the end, though, I sighed.

"Yeah," I replied. "We probably should. Hey, Stahl, wake up, man. We gotta get going."

I shook him gently, snapping him out of the little trance he'd worked himself into. Together, the three of us entered the loud hall.

Before heading in, I looked around. Sadly, I couldn't see Cordelia or Robin anywhere.

* * *

It quieted down once everyone was seated.

I'd only been to one wedding before in my life, and that was when I was around seven or eight. All I could remember about it is that I lost one of my favorite toy pterodactyls while we were in the church. I shook those thoughts away for the time being. Besides, it wasn't really the time to be thinking about shit like that. It was Chrom and Sumia's wedding for fuck's sake.

Trying one more time to find Robin, I finally noticed him standing to Chrom's right, near the altar. Still couldn't find Cordelia. I really hoped she was doing okay. Robin's mood may have improved during the Bachelor Party – something I was still in the dark about but whatever. – but Cordelia's didn't. As far as I knew, at least.

I frowned, but quickly masked it as the wedding ceremony officially began. Libra coughed into his hand, silencing the remaining guests who were speaking. The entire place was filled to the brim.

Once the room was quiet, the door at the end of the hall opened, and in walked Sumia. The person who stood beside her was Cordelia, as well as a little girl who threw flowers as she walked. Sumia herself was decked out in the most ornate white dress I'd ever seen. Couldn't really tell much because of the distance, but it made her look like a ghost as she walked down the aisle. Cordelia, though, by God, was she gorgeous. Almost couldn't take my eyes off of her. She managed to make a simple red dress look good without much fanfare.

In the background played a tune I'd never heard before. I was just glad to hear music again. Been a while since I did that.

Once Sumia was at the altar, Cordelia stood to her left. Once I got a good look at her face, I could tell she wasn't in a good way. She was smiling, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.

I'd already seen it so many times. I wanted to march straight up there and give her a hug and tell her it was okay. Unfortunately, that would probably get me thrown out of the castle, so I stopped myself.

The wedding ceremony started with a familiar yet different recital from Libra.

"Friends and family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of our Exalt, Chrom, and with his chosen Queen, Sumia," Libra paused for a moment before continuing. "It is only after a brutal war and invasion that these two have found comfort in each other's arms. This only proves that even in the darkest of circumstances, love can and will find a way." Libra turned to Chrom. "My lord, I only have one thing to ask of you. Do you take Sumia as your Queen, in hardship and health?"

There was no hesitation in Chrom's words. "I do," The Ringbearer had come up a little while before, and Chrom took one of the rings off the pillow she held. "Sumia, these past few months have been tough. But even then, I know you've been with me, supporting me. There is no one else I'd rather have by my side in marriage."

I looked at Sumia to almost see her crying. The way she gazed at Chrom then reminded me of Robin and Cordelia. It was a shame that all I could think about when they were exchanging vows was those two.

Robin looked to be faring better than Cordelia, at least. That didn't make me feel any better. Not at all.

"And Sumia." Libra began again. "Do you take Lord Chrom as your husband, through hardship and health?"

Sumia seemed overwhelmed by emotion for a moment before she nodded her head so fast I thought her head would snap off. "I do!" She said tearfully, taking the second ring off the pillow. "Chrom, this is… this is the most wonderful day of my life. I never imagined something like this happening to someone like me. From this day onward, I'll shoulder your burdens. No matter what comes between us, I swear I'll always be beside you!"

_Jesus H. Christ that almost made me cry._

Like I said, I had about zero experiences with marriage that I could still remember. So when she started talking like that with tears of joy in her eyes, my heart fucking skipped a beat. You'd have to be a heartless bastard to not, I'd guess.

I took one more look at Cordelia. She looked like she was about to cry herself, although for completely different reasons, I imagined. Again, I just wanted to go up there and do my damnedest to make her feel better, but I was stuck in my chair for nowstill couldn't do that.

For a split second, I was angry that she was chosen as the Maid of Honor. I doubt a person as sweet as Sumia would do it to someone like Cordelia intentionally. Maybe Chrom and Sumia really were meant to be together, in that case. They were both clueless as hell.

Not that I really had any right to say much about that. I still barely knew myself at the best of times. I could tell what other people were thinking with a little bit of success, though. And at that moment, I think Chrom and Sumia shined brighter than the sun from happiness alone.

"Very well." Libra nodded, smiling. "Then, my Lord, I pronounce you as husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Once more, there was no hesitation as the young couple embraced and kissed. I was sure both of them were having the absolute time of their lives, and I was honestly happy for them. God knew they both deserved it. I always did like the Chrom and Sumia ship back home. But, again, I couldn't help but notice Cordelia off to the side, looking at the newlyweds.

It was at that moment I decided to help her out. Once the wedding entered the recessional. Which took a while, considering Chrom and Sumia seemed to be really getting into it.

We'd have to get a crowbar to separate them if they kept going at it.

* * *

Like I said, didn't know what to expect when it came to weddings. As far as I was concerned, the ceremony should've been the end of it, and it probably would have been if it was literally any other wedding. Only, since the wedding was a royal one, there was a lot more to it.

We went to the dining room after the ceremony, and the feast began.

The likeliest reason I could come up with for why we were there in the first place was that it was an excuse for all the nobles to gather together and discuss important political crap. Basically, nothing I'd be interested in.

I tried to find Cordelia, but the entire place was just so damn crowded. Trying to find her was like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

_She has red hair for fuck's sake, why is this so hard?_

"Looking for someone, I take it?" A familiar voice said behind me. I spun around a little too fast and faced Robin. "Easy there. I know this place is rather stuffy, but there is no need to be so on edge."

"…Fuck, Robin, I can't help it," I muttered, running a hand down my sweaty face. I waved my hand at the swarm of people around us, illuminated by the yellow glow of torchlight. "I don't know  _any_ of these people. Are any of the other Shepherds around at all? Like going through a maze of bodies…"

It didn't help that the people around me acted like I didn't exist. Sometimes it felt like they were looking right through me, or looking at me from far off, like I was a curiosity or some shit. It was surreal, and it gave me a shit ton of anxiety.

Well, that and the fact that I still couldn't find Cordelia.

"Come with me," Robin said, motioning me towards a nearby balcony. "I… do not feel comfortable around these people either."

I took one more look at the people around me, took a deep breath, and nodded. We pushed past several people, all of which didn't even give us a passing glance. I couldn't even hear my own footsteps in the cacophony.

Eventually, we made it out. A small breeze brushed past me, and I closed my eyes to savor the feeling. Only a twinkle of sunlight was left, making the buildings below cast eerie shadows on the cobbled ground.

Robin walked forward a little more, and rested his arms on the stone railing, gazing at the sky. He was starting to remind me of myself.

We fell into a comfortable silence. It was nicer outside than it was inside, to say the least. Then again, Robin was probably worse off than I was inside that overcrowded room. He was far more of an introvert than I was, and that was saying something. I still remembered how badly he was rattled in the Council meeting.

"The sky is pretty tonight, is it not?" He asked out of the blue, not looking at me.

I folded my arms, standing beside him. "Yeah, it really is," I said nothing for a few seconds. "…Well, it's better than being in there. How the hell were you even able to do anything? Had to get into a queue just to get a fucking macaroon."

Robin chuckled lightly. "It helps when you do not know anyone. Nothing feels personal. All you have to do is smile and make small talk if one of them approaches you. I am getting that a lot more than you, I imagine. Being Best Man will do that."

Rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly, I asked the question that I'd been wanting to since he brought me to the balcony. "Okay, Robin, be honest with me," I began. "How are you doing? Chrom and Sumia were a little, er…  _tone deaf_  when they made you and Cordelia their Best Man and Maid of Honor. I just hope you aren't-"

"I am fine, Alex," Robin said, turning around. I saw a genuine smile on his face. "I would not say that I have moved past it, or that I have made peace with my feelings. But, I feel that I can set them aside. They will do me no good in the future, and I realize that there is nothing I can do. I have no choice but to move on, lest I feel regret for the rest of my days. Who would want that?"

"…Well, when you put it that way…" I replied, not looking him in they eye.

"But it is Cordelia I am beginning to worry about," Robin continued, looking back out over Ylisstol. "I trust you saw her as the ceremony went on?"

I frowned. "How the hell would I have missed it, Robin?" I asked rhetorically. "She was hiding it, but she's been around me too much. Won't say I can read her like a book, but, well, I'm sure you get it."

"I do not think I do, but I will take your word for it." Robin played with his gloved hands. "She has been through a lot. The death of her entire squad, the hazing she suffered under them, and then her unrequited feelings…" Robin listed off. "You have been good for her, though. That is why I paired you two so often during those last few skirmishes before the war ended. I know you were looking for her back in the dining hall."

I held my arms out. "You'd think she'd be easy to find, wouldn't you?" I said, exasperated. "What with her red hair and all. But no, it's like she's fucking vanished-"

"Alex, I am going to ask you one question," Robin said, turning around and looking me in the eye. "Do you have feelings for Cordelia?"

I nearly coughed on my own spit. "F-Fucking hell…" I muttered. "Okay, look,  _maybe_. I'm only saying this because it's you, but fucking  _maybe_." Once I started talking, the words wouldn't stop. "I wouldn't call it  _love_ , alright? Love doesn't just happen in a couple months. But… Maybe something's there.  _Maybe_. Attraction, infatuation, whatever the fuck you wanna call it. It's there," I stopped myself. "…Fuck my life."

Robin nodded, smiling. "I had a feeling. The other Shepherds love talking about your obvious pining."

"Now I just feel betrayed."

"It is all in good fun, Alex," Robin waved off. "It would explain much. I would not stop trying to find her, if I were you. I feel as if she will need someone to talk to before the night is over."

I didn't speak for a couple moments before nodding. "Yeah… Yeah, I'll go and do that. You gonna stay out here, My Lord?"

"Oh  _Gods_ ," Robin moaned, burying his face in his hands. "I asked you to not call me that."

"In private," I replied, a shit-eating grin on my face as I backed up into the uncomfortable room behind me. "Think of it as payback for being so generous with your questions." I bowed as extravagantly as I could. "I bid you farewell, My Lord."

I left to the sound of Robin's groans. Served him right.

* * *

"Oh, uh, excuse me," I said awkwardly as someone small bumped into me. The squeaking noise they made was a little cute, if nothing else. "I was just looking for somebody and-"

I stopped speaking once I got a look at her.

Lavender colored hair cascaded down her head, waving a little to the side to show her incredibly pretty face. She wore what I assumed was a dancer's outfit, although it was a little different than what I remembered. Fine fabric made up her dress, and ribbons. Her pale face was almost completely red, avoiding my gaze just as much as I avoided hers.

"N-No," The dancer known as Olivia stuttered out, holding her arms close to her chest like I was going to look there. "I-It was my fault. I'm always so clumsy when I try to get through c-crowds."

I hadn't talked with Olivia once. I knew she was supposed to join the Shepherds after Emmeryn's death, but I never saw her when we were at the fort or on the battlefield. I could understand the latter, considering it looked like a small breeze could topple her over, let alone an angry Plegian with an axe. This wasn't a game, either, so the whole 'rejuvenation' thing probably didn't have much of an affect.

She did seem to sparkle though. That was weird.

I looked around awkwardly, trying not to stare at her. I rubbed the back of my neck. "Y-Yeah, I can't really stand it either, but I gotta look for someone. You wouldn't have happened to see a tall, gorge- I mean, tall redheaded woman around here, would you?'

Olivia twiddled her fingers. "U-Um, I did see someone like that, b-but she was… She was drinking a lot, I-I think. I-I shouldn't be talking about that, t-though. She looked like… she looked like she didn't want to talk to anyone."

My brow furrowed as Olivia faded into the background.

_That is not a good sign._

I had decided not to drink during the reception, what with the experience of the Bachelor Party still fresh in my mind. Still had trouble figuring out if I'd said anything compromising, although if I'd said anything that could damage our plans, Robin didn't comment on it.

I shivered as I remembered the adventure to find something with my hangover. That was going to be a memory forever.

I refocused on Olivia, who was fidgeting with increasing regularity. "I… Thank you for telling me. You're Olivia, right? Joined with the Shepherds right before the war ended?"

"E-Er, yes? I-I'm sorry but I have something I n-need to do," She said suddenly, taking timid steps away from me. "Miss S-Sumia asked me to!"

"…Uh huh," I replied, waving my hand. "Yeah, you go do that. Thanks again!"

She didn't respond as she quickly fled. I scratched the back of my head. I had to admit, she was pretty. Not in the same way as Cordy, but pretty nonetheless.

I shook my head. The hell was I doing? Thinking about shit like that was not normal. Not for me, anyway.

I went to go look for Cordelia again, but something unexpected happened. The entire dining hall went silent and a small gap opened in the horde of noble guests. Curiosity got the better of me, and I attempted to get as close as I could to the strange event. What I saw nearly took my breath away.

Olivia was dancing. Her movements were graceful, practiced, elegant, and any other synonyms I couldn't think of. It was almost like watching a slightly see-through curtain dance in gentle winds. The other guests were about as spellbound as me, maybe even more so. Sounds of surprise and encouragement rang out among the crowd, although they were difficult to hear when I was so focused on the performance in front of me.

Even Olivia's expression and body language was different. She had a small smile on her face as she moved, using her body to its full potential as she moved like water. I was no expert on body language, and I would be the first to admit it, but even I'd be hard-pressed to miss the way she shrunk under my gaze earlier, even if I was trying to not do that during our entire short conversation.

The performance didn't last long, or maybe it just seemed like it didn't. Striking one last pose, Olivia proceeded to bow. Cries for an encore came from the crowd around her. I smiled a little as she seemed to preen for a moment under the praise being sent her way, before it looked like she was going to give the crowd its wish.

I didn't stay for long after that. Maybe with the thinned crowd around a majority of the hall, I'd be able to find Cordelia.

* * *

"What in the fucking fuckity fucking fuckface  _fuck_ …" I grumbled frustratedly to myself. I could tell the party was winding down. There was less socializing among the nobles, and a good portion of them had left.

And yet, despite the thinning crowd, I still couldn't find her.

_How hard could it be to find the most beautiful woman on the planet?_

I ran my left hand through my wet hair. The heat was excruciating, but I walked around a little more. I would give it a little more time before giving up for the night. Cordelia may've been drinking, if what Olivia said was true, but that didn't mean she was in any danger. Besides, she had a couple other people she could rely on if it got to be too much for her.

I then realized that Sumia was with Chrom, wherever the hell they went, and as far as I knew, Robin had turned in for the night.

"C'mon, bucko," I whispered to myself, adjusting a few fingers on my iron hand. "Give it a little more before you give up. How hard could it be to find her-?"

Before I finished my sentence, I felt two arms snake around my waist. I froze like a deer in headlights, my eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. I stopped the impulse to turn around quickly out of fear of hurting the person who grabbed me. Turning my head slowly, I got a good look at the red hair of a certain Pegasus Knight.

"Mmm," Cordelia hummed, not letting go of me. "Who're you looking for? I can't- I don't have a lot of wish- wits about me, but maybe I could-" She hiccupped. "Nevermind."

" _Cordy_ ," It came out of my mouth as a strained whisper. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I dunno," She told me, loosening her hold to look me in the eye. Her cheeks were flushed, and her ruby eyes seemed unfocused. "I've just been-" She hiccupped again. "I've just been… wandering around. Like a ghost. Don't tell Sumia but I  _hate_ ghost stories," Her brows furrowed for a second. "Although I suppose she's too busy with  _Chrom_ right now. I just… I couldn't…"

"How much have you had to drink?" I asked straightforwardly. She was doing a lot of rambling and I had to cut through the crap.

"I don't know, maybe, er…" She stopped moving for a moment like her brain was rebooting. "I-I think maybe a couple glasses of wine."

"That's a lie. You can barely stand," I stated.

She waved her hand, keeping one on my hip. "Ah, m-maybe it is. I just didn't want to deal with all the… Sumia is my best friend. I didn't want to spoil her wedding all because I couldn't… let go. Let loose. I don't know. The wine, the wine tasted good."

"Christ, you're a wreck," I mumbled to myself. "Alright, come here. We're getting the hell outta here."

"G-Going where? I'm not-" Another hiccup. "I'm not- I'm fine, really. I think. I-It's a little difficult to tell. Everything's all blurry. T-That's not normal, is it?"

I didn't mind her hugging me from behind. Hell, I didn't mind having her touching me at all. But there was a time and place for everything, and I felt like I had to get her out of the hall as quickly as possible.

I didn't even think of the implications of taking her to my room, her arms around my shoulder. She offered no resistance. If anything, she let me do it. She was the one pushing herself into my side.

That was getting uncomfortable, not going to lie. Even more so when she began nuzzling me.

* * *

"Cordelia."

"Mmm?"

"Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?" She asked, completely sincere. Either she didn't know she was leaning on me, head on my shoulder while we both sat on my bed, or she didn't care.

"…Nevermind." I avoided looking at her.

It was something I'd been longing for since Whiteford, yet for some reason it was making me uneasy.

Getting Cordelia to her room just wasn't going to happen, considering her room was all the way in the barracks. Therefore, I had decided to take her to my room, have her sleep off the alcohol, and maybe carry her to her room once she was sound asleep.

That involved getting to my room in the first place.

It wasn't a long walk from the dining hall where the party was held to my room, so getting there wasn't the problem. The problem was that once we got there, she didn't let go of me. Not even sitting on the bed made her let go.

Which led to my current predicament.

Well, I said that, but I wasn't sure if I could seriously classify it as a 'predicament'. It's not like I didn't enjoy her touch. If anything, it felt great. I'd never really had something like it happen to me before.

Maybe it was the fact that I could smell the alcohol on her breath.

"Hah," Cordelia sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time since getting to my room. "You know, I never- I've never been in a place like this. With a boy. N-Never had the chance." She laughed lightly to herself. "I-I always wanted it to be him. To be with him. B-But now I'll never get that chance. I-I'll never… I am happy for Sumia, Gods, but do I wish I was in her place!"

I winced at her words as a shuddering breath left her.

"Cordy," I called out softly, looking at her for the first time since we entered the room. "I know this is probably rich coming from someone like me, but… You gotta let Chrom go. I really think you need to. I mean, fuck, look at you," I gestured to her. "You're… I mean, God, what the hell am I even saying right now."

"I k-know what you're saying, Alex," Cordelia whispered, nuzzling her head into my shoulder. "B-But… A part of me doesn't want to."

A pit formed in my chest. "…What?"

"I-I'm sorry for-for unloading all of this on you right now," She said airily. "I-I know it's probably hard to hear…"

_God, if she only knew how right she was._

The pit in my chest just kept growing as she spoke.

"It's… I just wasn't good enough, was I?" She said, as if she was speaking to the room itself. She looped her arm around mine and hugged me. "I wasn't g-good enough to save them, back at the border, I'm not good enough to be with Chrom, I'm not good enough to train the next generation…"

"Yes you are," I said immediately. "Yes, you really are."

"I a-appreciate you saying that for my sake, Alex," Cordelia replied. I could almost picture the hollow smile on her lips. "B-But I'll never be good enough for that. I-I'll never live up to my childhood hero. N-Never."

I was beginning to lose it. My mind was like a storm. "Bullshit," I hissed, breathing faster. "I don't know who your hero is, but I'll be fucking  _damned_ if you aren't good enough for them."

Cordelia sniffled. "Y-You…" She released my arm a little, and she shook her head. "I'm not. I'm really not. If I was, I'd be with him. Do you want to know the reason I don't want to let go of these feelings?" She didn't give me a chance to respond. "T-They're the only thing… Without those feelings, this burning in my chest… I'd never feel it again. I-It hurts. By the Gods, does it hurt. But I don't want to let it go. It's like… it's like something's burning inside of me," She placed a hand to her chest. "Without it, where would I be?"

_You'd be a lot happier is what you'd be._

Cordelia wiped her eyes as she finished. "T-The pain got so bad that I… I imagined what it would be like to end it."

_I'm… I'm sorry, sir. He's dead._

_Standing on the edge of the cliff, looking down on the roiling waters below. You will never see them again. You will never see anything again. Just one step and it will all be over-_

"Oh  _fuck no_ ," I snarled, standing up suddenly and jostling Cordelia.

She looked at me with wide, red eyes. Dried tears stained her cheeks. "Wh-Wha-"

I grabbed her by the shoulders, careful to not hurt her with my iron hand. "Look me in the eyes, Cordelia!" I ordered. "I don't care what fucking war you got going on in your head. I don't care about what you've been thinking about. But, by God, I am not losing another person I care about! Not again!" I realized I was shouting, but I didn't care. "Don't you dare fucking do that, you hear me? Don't you fucking  _dare_! Sumia cares about you. Robin cares about you.  _I_ fucking care about you! You don't have to deal with this shit all by yourself, understand!? You and Robin came for me back on Whiteford and brought me back from the goddamn brink. I'd die before I let you take the plunge."

"A-Alex…" Cordelia stuttered out.

"I'm not done," I interrupted, holding her still. "I'm going to help you, understand? I'm going to help and support you no matter what you do. Hell, we already talk about shit all the goddamn time. Just… Just don't keep crap like this to yourself, okay? It'll tear you up. Trust me, I know. I'll…"

I realized what was happening, and my heart sunk into my chest. Cordelia was avoiding my gaze, looking at my arm. She was breathing heavily.

I released her, and she slowly sat back on the bed.

"I-I-" I stuttered, unable to really say anything. I turned around. "I-I should probably go. I went a little too far didn't I-?"

I took one step forward before I felt a tug on my tunic.

"No…" Cordelia whispered, teary-eyed. "P-Please, don't leave."

I didn't say anything for a few seconds. What could I even say? Instead, I acted. I turned back around and sat on the bed next to her. Just like when we first arrived.

For some reason, I couldn't get the idea out of my head that I'd fucked up. Maybe came on a little too forcefully or said a little more than I should. But there was nothing I could really do about that.

Slowly but surely, Cordelia moved herself so that my arm was around her neck, and she hugged me from the side.

"C-Cordy…" I stammered out. The contact wasn't unwelcome, but it was all becoming a bit much. It felt like my brain was fried.

"I-I-" She murmured. "P-Please, don't… Let me have this…"

With the way she was pressing up against me, I found myself laying on the bed on my back. Her arms wrapped their way around the top of my collarbone, almost cradling my head as she nuzzled into the crook of my neck. I shivered as I felt her warm breath against my skin. Her warm, lean body pressed close to mine. A familiar smell of cherries wafted up to my nose. I moved my arms until I was embracing her in kind, making sure the iron hand didn't touch any visible skin.

"T-Thank you, Alex…" She whispered, her breath hot on my ear. "Thank you so, so m-much…!"

I said nothing. There was nothing more to say.

In that moment, I wanted to kiss her. It wasn't a strong feeling, like I felt like I'd die if I didn't do it, but it was there. In the back of my mind. It wouldn't even be that hard. All I'd have to do is lift her up and press my lips against hers-

_Not now._

There were other times for that. But there was one thing I was certain of. As I held Cordelia in my arms, feeling her breath against my skin and the rising and falling of her chest as it pressed against my own, I realized it.

I was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well if it wasn't obvious who Alex's love interest was before this...
> 
> Heh, the memes on the Discord server were good while they lasted.
> 
> So yeah, not much I can really say about this. Just hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Although I will say that updates will be slower now. I've been writing non-stop for a couple months now, and I think I need to take a step back and, well, take it easy. Burnout is a dangerous thing, and I'm at the point where most stories for Awakening die.
> 
> This just means that, after this update, Chapters will come out every other Saturday, instead of every Saturday. It'll probably give me more time to fix all the little errors I tend to notice only after a chapter is published.
> 
> Here's our Discord server: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Anyway, see you guys next time!


	23. The Shadow Over Ylisstol

I woke up from the most restful sleep I'd ever had to the feeling of holding someone in my arms. Warmth pervaded my entire body, but not in an uncomfortable way. It was like wearing newly dried clothes; a pleasant heat that I didn't want to go away.

When I opened my eyes, all I saw was an ocean of red, going every which way. Some of it even got into my mouth, which I hastily removed.

Wracking my brain to figure out what happened to get me into this situation, I took in a sharp breath when I realized just who I was spooning.

"Mmm…" Cordelia mumbled in her sleep, shifting slightly.

I stayed completely silent, enjoying the contact while it lasted. With my arms around her waist, and her back pressing against my chest, I felt at peace. Like the whole world could be ending and I wouldn't care. It sounded stupid to me, even then, but I didn't care. I had the woman I knew I loved in my arms. What more could I want?

I snuggled closer to her. Hearing a sigh of contentedness, I stayed like that for a while.

Unfortunately, the goddamn sun shined onto her face, and she stirred a little while after.

"…Huh…?" She yawned, turning her body until she faced me. "Oh… Hey, Alex."

I'll admit, I didn't expect her to say that so  _casually._  As I looked at her face, my heart pounded in my chest. I didn't know how to respond to it.

_What did you expect her to do, boy scout, scream? Slap you in the face? Call you a pervert?_

Subconsciously, maybe. I was glad she didn't do that, though.

"Uh, hi," I replied quietly, awkwardly. You'd think I'd never spoken to a girl in my entire life.

I could feel one of her legs touch my own as she groaned. Afterwards, she sat up and stared down at me for a second. "Alex, has anyone told you how… handsome you look?"

_Alexander .exe has stopped working._

"Didn't notice it before, but… wow," She said, her words slurring a little. She groaned again and rubbed her temples. "Gods, what a headache… How am I going to make it back to my room like this?"

Her dress was crumpled and wrinkled, and her hair was unkempt and curly. Honestly, she looked cute as hell like that, but I could see what she meant. Luckily for her, I didn't think anyone would be coherent enough that morning to even question how she looked.

I sat up myself, running a hand through my hair. "Well, I don't think anyone's gonna be awake in the castle, so you've got a good shot at getting to the barracks if you're quick."

Cordelia tried straightening her hair out, to no avail. "It's still going to be difficult. I shudder to think what people would think of me should they see me like this."

I chuckled airily, feeling a lightness in my chest that I wasn't used to. I thought for a moment before asking, "Hey, Cordy. Er, how much about last night do you remember?"

Considering how flippant she was when she woke up, I imagined she at least remembered a little bit about it. Once that question passed my lips, however, she froze. She looked at me, her lips pursed.

"…All of it," She said simply, patting down her dress. "I… I remember what you said to me, how you-" She swallowed. "I'm not sure how to put it into words, but… from the bottom of my heart, Alex, thank you for being there for me. I'm-I'm not sure what I would do without you."

_This has got to be a motherfucking dream._

"I should probably get going," She said, standing up. "Even if today is a day off, I can't slack off on my training. Gods know I've done that enough trying to teach the recruits."

"Hang on," I said abruptly, standing up myself. My heart kept on pounding in my chest as I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. Once her eyes were on me it felt like my I'd explode. "I was thinking, I've got another day off in a week or two. You think you and I could… I dunno, go out somewhere? Could be a nice way to unwind after the crap we're gonna have to go through the next few weeks."

A smile found its way to her lips. Unlike last night, it reached her lovely red eyes. The light entered the room from the curtained window and lit up her face, shining off her pale skin. With her hair framing her face, the image was burned into my mind for the rest of my life. I couldn't help but smile myself. It almost felt like she'd gathered me into a warm hug again, just like on Whiteford.

"Yes, I think I would like that," She replied.

* * *

The next two weeks went by extremely slowly to me. Almost unbearably. It always used to happen to me back home; I'd have some sort of special thing planned, and it would almost always be ruined by me being a nervous wreck until it actually happened. Only none of those had anything to do with women. Or a woman that I loved.

That was what really got to me. It was the reason why I really didn't want to fuck it up.

I prepared for it the minute she left my room. Had a good idea in mind. Well, it was a good idea to me.

Once I knew exactly what day it was, I only had one thing to do: wait.

The thing I was worst at.

I didn't see Cordelia much during those two weeks. When I did see her, though, she had a smile on her face. Made my heart skip a beat every single time. She seemed to be doing a lot better than before the wedding, like,  _a lot_ better. Always had this glow to her, like for the first time in a long time she was actually happy.

All I knew was that, if I was the cause of that turn around, then it made me happier too.

Eventually, the day arrived.

"Alex, where are we going?" Cordelia asked curiously, walking beside me as we left Ylisstol, heading out into the fields that surrounded it.

"You'll see," I replied, idly swinging the basket I held in my iron hand. Didn't even have to think about holding it with that thing. "It'll be nice. I promise."

Cordelia giggled. Music to my ears. "Well, now you  _really_ have me curious."

We walked at a brisk but comfortable pace through the countryside. It almost felt as if we were walking through fields of gold, what with the lighting. Usually, I'd hate to be out when the sun was so high in the sky - mostly because I'd sweat like a stuck pig, even though I was much more fit than I ever was back home. – but for some reason, it didn't bother me.

After going up a moderately large hill, we finally arrived.

"Oh…  _wow_ ," Cordelia gasped, taking a few steps ahead of me. "That's… That's quite a view…" She finished wistfully.

I chuckled, seeing her glowing silhouette against the sky. "Yeah, it is."

From the hill we stood on, we could see almost the entirety of Ylisstol. In the afternoon sun, it looked like a city of gold, glittering like a mirage. The fields surrounding it swayed in the light breeze, making it look like the city itself was adrift on the sea.

It really was a gorgeous view.

I put the basket down and pulled a blanket from the top. "Considering we've been in the city for the last few months, thought it'd be nice to get away for a while. Not as loud, too."

Cordelia turned back to me, a beautiful smile on her lips. "That's very thoughtful, Alex. It's been a rather busy few weeks for me, so this quiet is really appreciated."

"Yeah, well, Robin and I have been coordinating with all the lords and crap," I explained, laying the blanket out and sitting down on it. "Trying to set up that army he was talking about. Can't imagine what it's like teaching those new recruits, though. Last time you told me some of them hadn't even seen a Pegasus before."

"Mhm," Cordelia hummed, gracefully sitting beside me. "I won't go into too much detail, but it has been difficult. They are learning, slowly but surely, but it will be a long time before any of them will be considered proper Pegasus Knights.  _Anyway_ ," She shook her head, her red tresses following her movements. "What do you have in there?"

_Probably wasn't a good idea to mention work while you're both on your day off, boy scout._

"Oh, the basket?" I pointed. "Hang on, I got it…"

Like I said, I had everything planned out. Well, as planned out as I considered necessary. Which meant I got the basket and blanket at the earliest opportunity and got the food and drinks the morning before we left. Just some simple stuff; sandwiches, because apparently those existed here, and some nice fruit. Mostly cherries, because they reminded me of her.

Once I pulled them out, we dug in.

For a good portion of our time spent up there, we simply sat and ate in comfortable silence. It was difficult trying not to look at her. Not that I didn't want to, but I knew from experience that staring at people for extended periods of time was a good way to get them to think you're crazy. Still, I couldn't help myself a few times. I'd look at her red hair, and remember the feeling of my fingers flowing through it, the smell of cherries on my nose. Every time I looked at her I'd remember the softness of her skin against my own when we fell asleep together, her hot breath on my neck.

Yeah, I had it bad. And I didn't care.

A sigh escaped her lips as we were finishing up. "Gods, it feels like it has been years since I've just sat down and enjoyed the world around me," She said quietly. "Not since I became a Pegasus Knight. My family used to go out like this all the time."

Couldn't say I had many experiences like that back home. Then again, I was glad I was changing that here.

"…Huh," I scratched the back of my neck. "You've never told me about your family before. Where do they live?"

"Oh, well, if you really want to," Cordelia said, reluctantly. "I don't really think it's worth bringing up."

"Eh, you don't have to if you don't want to," I replied, feeling a little awful just bringing crap like that up out of the blue. The hell was I thinking. "Was just curious. We can talk about something else, if you want."

Cordelia thought for a moment. The way her lips pinched just a tad while she did so was incredibly cute. Like,  _goddamn_. I could almost imagine pressing mine against hers.

Cordelia sighed. "I don't think it'll be that bad to tell you. It really isn't that interesting, though." She took a deep breath. "I was born up North, in the territory of a powerful lord. My father is his advisor, and they've been close friends for years. Ever since the Crusades, at least. My mother used to be a cleric, working on the injured. That's how they met," Cordelia gazed off into the distance, her tone becoming nostalgic. "It's been a long time since I've seen them. Too long. I've just been so busy with everything." A small smile graced her lips, making my heart do a waltz in my chest. "I think I'll write a letter to them when we get back."

I nodded, letting out a deep breath as I leaned back a bit. "Heh, you gonna write about me in there at all? How this scar-faced bastard came outta nowhere to help you?"

Cordelia turned to me, brows furrowed. I felt a shiver go up my spine when she stared at me like that. "Why in Naga's name would I describe you as that? Rest assured, I'll come up with something far more fitting."

_…My God, that was unexpected._

"…Er," She stuttered, turning away. "I just said something a bit embarrassing, didn't I?"

I imagined the blush on her face. What I wouldn't do to see it. To just go up and look at her face and hug her and-

I shook my head and the heat I felt on my cheeks. "Nah, not really. I've said a lot more embarrassing crap back home. Although, I really, uh, appreciate you doing that. Didn't even think I was worth a mention, to be honest."

"I think you are," Cordelia stated, a little more forcefully than I was expecting. She stood up, the sun behind her. She looked like an angel made flesh. She held her hand to me. "Anyways, we've been out here for a while. We should head back, don't you think?"

For a moment I was too dazzled to really respond. Once I regained my senses, though, I chuckled lightly and took her hand.

It was just as warm as I imagined.

* * *

After our, well, 'date' concluded, we headed back into the city.

It was only a few months since the end of the war, and you'd probably be unable to tell the city was occupied at one point. Much of the damage had been repaired, and the city was almost like when I first saw it. Still small compared to the cities back home, but goddamn did it make up for it in how pretty it was.

Not as pretty as Cordelia, but still.

Speaking of, she walked beside me as we went down the cobbled street, heading towards the barracks. It looked like there was a spring to her step, and she had this perpetual smile on her lips.

After a while, she seemed to become thoughtful; her lips pursed again. I was about to ask about it when I felt something grab my hand.

A sharp intake of breath as I almost stopped in place was my response. Despite my body screaming at me to stop moving, I kept up with Cordelia. I knew she was holding my hand, and I could feel her lacing our fingers together. The contact made me shiver, a warmth spreading across my face.

"Cordy," I whispered. "You're-You're holding my hand."

_An amazing observation, Captain Obvious. Is there anything else you can tell us?_

"Yes," She replied softly. I turned my head to see her scarlet face. "Should I stop?"

"No," I said instantly. "No. Please, keep doing that."

She kept my hand in hers the entire way back. My heart refused to settle down; I couldn't calm down no matter how much I tried. I couldn't tell how she was handling it. All I knew was that the smile on her face was just as radiant as before, maybe even more so.

I burned the feeling of her hand and the sight of her face into my mind. No matter what, I would always remember that day. It was the most beautiful and fulfilling day of my life.

* * *

I sighed as Robin stared incredulously at the reports, his eyes wide. "…Alex, am I reading this correctly?"

"I don't know what you want me to tell you, Robin," I said, holding my arms out to my sides. "Phila gave me the report this morning, and we both know she doesn't make mistakes."

Robin laid the papers down on his desk, rubbing his forehead with a gloved hand. "I know. I know she would never do that, but I am just having difficulty digesting this. Not a single Risen attack in two months?"

I shrugged. "That's what it says, right? From here to Auraegis and Warreth, and to Grawin and Tathis, not a single attack confirmed." I ran a hand through my hair. "Well,  _confirmed_. That kinda implies that there might be a few scattered reports from traumatized farmers, but I don't think those are gonna amount to much."

Robin leaned in his chair, the wood creaking as he did so. "I will be honest with you here, Alex: I have no idea what this could mean. These legends you spoke of, from your homeland, they did not speak of such a thing happening?"

"As far as I can remember, Robin," I replied, feeling almost helpless at Robin's question. "After a little while the Risen just sorta… fell outta the story, I guess. Weren't really mentioned much after a certain point, like they were only here to tell us that something's fuckin'  _wrong_. If I knew anything, I'd've told you a long time ago."

Robin propped his elbows on his desk and lazily laid his head in his palm. He took a sip of tea with his other hand. "It is too early for this."

On that, I was inclined to agree. It was the middle of August, for fuck's sake, and we still had a year and a half until the Valmese invaded. And then the Risen just up and disappeared from the face of the universe like they didn't exist at all. The amount of questions it raised was too many to count.

_That's really fucking frightening, honestly._

"Remind me to thank Phila for sharing a copy of her reports with me," Robin told me, sitting straight up again. "I do not think I need to tell you what this implies. If what you have told me of Grima is true, then this could mean many things. A consolidation of forces? A purging? I do not have the tools at my disposal to investigate this as much as I would like, and it is frustrating. If only we could get that army ready faster!"

There was not much I could say, so I just stood there quietly. Waiting for a chance to get a leg in.

Robin sighed, and I could almost feel the exhaustion in that action.. "My apologies. Please, if only for a moment, I would like to speak of something else. Anything else. Perhaps… Yes, you have been spending a substantial amount of time with Cordelia, haven't you?"

I was willing to do what he said, but suddenly jumping to that topic gave me whiplash. I could feel my cheeks reddening all their own. My own body was betraying me. "Well, I mean, yeah, it's nice to spend time with her. What of it?"

"Are you honestly telling me that?" Robin looked at me like I was an absolute moron. To his credit, I was. "After what you told me at the wedding? You are courting her, are you not?"

"Jesus Christ, Robin!" I nearly screamed, turning around and forcing myself to look out the window. "Alright, you're right. I am… what the fuck did you call it? 'Courting'? I don't really know what she feels about me, though. So I'm kinda just seeing where things are going right now."

"You may want to try and define your relationship with her quicker; the Shepherds are already making bets behind your back," Robin informed me, and I could almost hear the smirk on his face. "Though if you wish to take longer, I am sure I could make a decent amount of gold."

"Oh, fuck off," I growled, running my left hand down my face. "It's too early for this shit."

Robin's words did strike a chord with me, though. I knew how I felt about Cordelia, but I didn't know how she felt about me. She did agree to a date, at least.

I decided to shuffle that off for later.

"Whatever," I said finally, turning around. "There's gotta be plenty of other interesting stuff we can talk about that doesn't involve my love life."

"I am not so sure, but I will see what I have," Robin responded, returning to the veritable library of papers on his desk. He searched through them for a few moments before pulling a single one out. "Hmm, maybe this-?"

The door burst open. In an instant, my left hand was on the sword I kept on my belt, eyes trained on whoever barged in. Robin didn't even flinch; he slowly looked up from his desk at the panting man in the doorway.

Once I got a good look at him, I relaxed. He was thin, but wore a robe that probably made him seem larger. A pale face with messy black hair peeked out from behind an oversized wizard hat.

"My Lord!" The man said breathlessly, almost stumbling into the room. He planted both his hands firmly on the desk. "Hah, My Lord! You are the Grandmaster Tactician, correct!?"

"Should I throw him out?" I asked Robin quietly.

He waved me off. "Yes, I am the Grandmaster Tactician. Can you explain to me why you broke into my office?"

The man took a step back. "M-My apologies, My Lord! It's just that- We have something you should see. Down in the college. It's- It's big, My Lord! The E-Exalt himself told me to fetch you!"

_College? What college? And what the fuck does Chrom have to do with this?_

Memories of a life gone by flooded my mind, and I felt a small bit a nostalgia.

Robin and I shared a look. He stood up.

"Lead the way, then."

* * *

Magic was something I'd almost completely forgotten about since I was told I'd never be able to use it. Didn't mind so much months later, but it also meant I had no idea how magic functioned for other people, and I doubted I'd ever really find out.

Apparently, there were magical institutions. Miriel told me about them months before, but I'd forgotten about them until then.

We traveled through a small part of Ylisstol I rarely went to. Despite the lack of any clouds in the sky, and the hat of the sun on my face, I couldn't help but feel a small amount of dread at what we were going to be shown. It didn't help that the spindly mage that fetched us was vague as hell. The fuck were we even going to see? Could've told us more, but what the fuck ever. Couldn't imagine Chrom would tell him to keep quiet.

The college we were headed to came into view, a dreary looking place that had more spikes than it knew what do with, it seemed. Looked like a sea urchin turned into a building. I shook my head as I walked beside Robin into the door that looked more like a giant creature's maw than a doorway.

The halls we walked through were crowded and loud. Almost like the wedding, but without the charm. Reminded me of my days back at college. Couldn't say that I was feeling nostalgic about them anymore. We had to shove our way through people at times, and the noise got so loud that it was hard to even think.

And to think, it was going to be just a simple day of paperwork.

"Christ on a bicycle…" I murmured to myself. The dread clawed at my stomach like it was a monster trying to tear its way out of a cage. "Hey, can you tell us anything about what we're doing here? I'm getting antsy."

"M-My apologies, sir." The man didn't let up his pace. "A few days ago a village to the North was attacked by something. Whatever it was, was killed and brought here this morning. I-I'm sure once we get there, the Exalt and those who killed it can tell you more."

"Well, that was helpful," I said sarcastically, the feeling in my gut only amplifying at his words.

"Patience, Alex," Robin said quietly. "We will know what is happening soon enough."

_In my opinion, soon enough should come faster._

Eventually, after getting through the largest and most packed groups of gawking students, we found ourselves inside a small room. I didn't bother reading the sign posted on the door we had to squeeze through, although from the look of it, it was an examination room, or something like that. The entire room was a uniform gray, with nothing to liven it up. In the middle was a table covered in cloth, with something spikey under it. Felt like I was in a coroner's office.

The room was cold, too. Like, ungodly cold. Could almost see my breath.

"Robin, Alex," Chrom said, his face, for the first time in a long time, grim. "I'm glad you could make it. I wish it was under better circumstances."

"If you are saying that," Robin began. "Then this must be serious."

"The situation is dire, indeed," A woman's voice said. My head whipped around to see Miriel walk from the shadows. "What is beneath this cloth, and what was discovered from rummaging through what was left of its possessions, raises countless queries."

"I-It's an abomination, miss!" The wizard who had escorted us spoke up, his voice small and high-pitched. "An abomination! Naga take it!"

"Quiet, Bernard," Miriel replied, adjusting her glasses. "I have asked the Headmaster of this institution to allow us to use this room. The Ylisstol School for Spellcraft and Sorcery has many of my former colleagues, though few of them have attempted to assist me with this task. Although the Headmaster requested I place this blanket over the corpse, as he was concerned that it would terrify the students should they catch a glimpse of it."

"Laying it on a bit thick, aren't you?" I said dryly, sighing. "I've had this bad feeling since – what, Bernard? – fetched us. Said this was about something that attacked a village up North. What the hell is it?"

That feeling in my gut refused to fade. Chrom visibly paled and found solace in looking at his shoes.

"Miriel… Can you please remove the cover?" He asked, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

"Very well," She said, oblivious to the feeling around the room. "It will give me another chance to study its appearance. Nothing has been seen that is quite like it in the tomes I have studied."

"Chrom, you are worrying me," Robin interrupted, holding a hand out to stop Miriel. "Alex is not incorrect; I have been having this weird feeling since we arrived. Is it truly that serious?"

Chrom cringed. "You'll see, my friend. Just be ready. Miriel?"

In one motion, Miriel took the cloth off the spiky corpse. What I saw nearly made me vomit then and there.

It could barely be described as a creature. Scales ran the length of its body, blood red in color. Its arms were long, longer than they should be, and tapered off to clawed hands that still had blood on them. Its chest was scarred and burned, probably what killed it, although the scales of the thing curled around the wound like burnt paper. The must grisly and horrifying part, however, was its face. It looked as if someone took a human head and stretched the mouth out until it resembled a dog's snout. Sharp teeth meant for slicing through flesh lined its jaw. So many teeth that it didn't all fit. Scraps of white hair fell from its scaly scalp. The last part was its eyes. A milky blue, almost human-looking, staring up at the gray ceiling.

"What in the name of  _fuck!_ " I cursed, nearly gagging. "The hell is that fucking thing!?"

"By Naga…" Robin whispered.

"I-I told you!" The man, Bernard, screeched. "Abomination!"

"Fascinating…" Miriel mused, staring at the abomination with interest. "On a second viewing, I have noticed that this lifeform looks to be a mixture between a dragon and a human. Clumsily, sloppily put together. You can even see the scraps of cloth that were clothes near its waist." She motioned to the creature's hips. "You can see the strain this fusion had on the body here." She pointed a dainty hand to the creature's side, where I could see stretch marks in the scales. "This corpse will require further study."

"Fuck, you can have it," I groused. "I don't want that  _thing_ near me."

"Miriel woke me up this morning touting it around," Chrom began to explain, crossing his arms and trying not to stare at it. I couldn't blame him for trying; it was a lot like looking at a train crash. "I had Sumia stay behind to reassure the castle staff while Miriel brought me here. This… This creature attacked our people, and Miriel says she knows where it came from."

"Hmm? Oh yes, it had possessions," Miriel said, snapping out of whatever trance she had hypnotized herself into. Robin stared at the corpse as she produced a small, rough book from her robes. "Several months ago, a researcher by the name of Ransom vanished after a proposal to the Headmaster ended with him being laughed out of the room. He was a researcher of fringe topics, such as pre-Marth civilizations and study of the nature of Divine magic. One topic he never let go of was Khadein, the City of Magic spoken of in the records of Marth's adventures."

"You know an awful lot about this guy. Friend of yours?" I asked, mostly to distract myself from the cadaver in the room. The worst part was that I couldn't even smell it.

"No," Miriel said simply. "I will never have the chance to, because he is dead. His corpse is right in front of you."

It felt like my stomach fell into a pit. I felt nauseous. "W-What?"

"Ransom kept his materials close to him at all times," Miriel explained. "From the small amount of research I have done on the man, he was a recluse. He would not part with his panoply without a fight, and this creature showed no sign of that. Not until a student brought the corpse to me. And the containers this creature had on it were almost in perfect condition. Ergo, I have come to the conclusion that this creature is Ransom himself. I will need to study the corpse extensively before I can fully commit to this conclusion."

"What about the scorch marks?" I asked, trying not to look at the corpse. "The fuck did that come from, then?"

"Easily explained," Miriel said, adjusting her glasses again. "A militia, along with a student from this very College, killed this creature. Said student knows a degree of fire magic. Knowledgeable as the student was, he knew it was an abomination. When he brought the body here for further study, I offered to 'take it off his hands', as it were. Such an interesting specimen should be analyzed completely."

Robin was still eerily silent.

"As I elaborated on earlier, he was interested in the city of Khadein," Miriel continued. "In the last few months before his sudden departure, he spoke of it constantly. Within the confines of this journal is a map, pinpointing its location." She opened the journal and sifted through the pages. She stopped at a scrawled map and pointed at a black dot on it. "That is what the Headmaster laughed him out of the room for; Khadein is a fairy tale to some, including him. It is clear that Ransom found  _something_. Whether it was Khadein or some cursed artifact, remains to be seen."

"…Is this going where I think it's going?" I asked, mostly to myself. "No, wait, lemme guess, we're gonna investigate, aren't we?"

"Khadein is a part of our history, Alex. Even if there's barely anything known about it," Chrom said suddenly. "I'll admit, we probably won't be able to send a large force; we're still recovering from the war, and Robin's plans have been going slowly. But, if we could send a small expeditionary force, to make sure that something like this doesn't happen again, then perhaps we could rest easy. And if whatever is there can turn people into this, even if it's just a theory…"

"I shall be on my way, sirs," The man, I kept forgetting his name, said shakily, tiptoeing towards the door. "I-I've had enough."

I watched him leave, wishing I could go with him.

"…We have no information on this 'Khadein' except a location and this body," Robin summarized. "We do not know if something like this will happen again. Or if others have been turned into abominations. It is all a big unknown. If you are willing to expend some manpower for this, Chrom, I am all for it."

_Really wish you didn't say that, Robin._

* * *

It was officially a research expedition, although to the few of us in the know, it was a lot more than that. From what I was told, Khadein held a lot of importance to the nobility. Hell, anything from Marth's era was considered sacrosanct. Most of the noble families supposedly traced their lineage all the way back to many of his old companions. It would explain why Chrom's family is said to be descended from Marth himself, even though Marth lived two-thousand years ago. Ylisseans kept extensive genealogy records, apparently.

So when the location of a part of their illustrious history is discovered, safe to say something was going to happen eventually.

Chrom didn't want to take any chances; he was going to send in the best. So, a squadron of Knights, a couple Feroxi fighters, several mages from the College, as well as the Shepherds to lead them, were going to be dispatched. The journey would take less than a month.

That was all well and good; send in a team to clear out the ruins of Khadein, and then, probably next year, send in a team of hardcore smart people to scour the bones. Great. Perfect. Even if whatever was there turned that one mage into what could loosely be described as a monster, sure. You don't gain anything without risks.

I just really wished I didn't have to go.

Robin wanted me there as his representative. He actually wanted to go himself, but considering the building of the Ylissean army was still in its infancy, he had no choice but to stay and oversee its continuation. While I was there, I'd report directly to him about everything that was found. Crap like that.

I didn't want to go out of cowardice. I'd been through a war for fuck's sake. Whatever the hell was in Khadein that could turn a person into the abomination I saw on that table, I felt like I was ready for it. As ready as I could ever be, anyway.

To be honest, I just didn't want to leave Cordelia.

Probably a stupid reason, I know. But I couldn't help but think that. That was the main reason why I didn't want to leave. If I went to Khadein with everyone, it'd be months until I could see her again.

"Listen, Alex," Robin said, a hand on my shoulder as I glared at him. "I need someone there. If there is anything that we can potentially use in Khadein, I want to know about it. Khadein was not something spoken of in those legends, correct?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "No. No, there was nothing. Not a single goddamn mention. That's probably why I'm so fucking nervous."

"That, and you do not wish to leave Cordelia, is that it?" He asked, brow raised before nodding at my reaction. "I thought as much. I am nervous too, you know. And yet, I would go myself were it not for this army I am trying to raise." His gaze softened a little. "Besides, you will not be alone. Sully and Vaike are going, as I am told."

_Thank fuck for that, too._

"…Yeah, I know," I replied sullenly, walking to the window in his office. "I just... there's gotta be a better reason for me going than that. It doesn't make any sense."

"I will not lie to you, there is some politics involved." Robin sighed. "You know how important history is to the nobility. Sending you, my Knight, to help uncover some of Ylisse's past, could help endear the nobility to me. It would make the process of building our army potentially easier."

That made a little more sense. Still, didn't make me feel all that better about the whole thing. Was still going to a place that could turn a man into a monster, after all.

"There will be a Griffon Rider that will carry post from here to where you go," Robin explained. "You can send messages directly to me, and to Cordelia should you wish. And you have the other Shepherds to talk to. It will be fine."

It wasn't the best reassurance he could've offered, but I decided it was better than nothing. If I was going to be cut off from everyone for several months while we explored crumbling ruins and found horrible artifacts that turn people into dragon monsters, I'd go insane.

For a week, preparations were made. August was the warmest month on Archanea, and unless we got to Khadein's location within that small timeframe, we would be fucked until next year. The mountains surrounding it were impassable during the colder months. That put a strain on certain members of our little expedition, mostly the Shepherds. I knew for a fact that Sully and Vaike were with us, as well as Miriel. Everybody else, though, I didn't get to see until I began to help. Most of our supplies were food, preserved with salt, and warm clothing and blankets. We could melt the snow around Khadein for water, thankfully. Preparations were light, basically, but given the small timeframe, we were going at it hard.

And because of all that bullshit, the preparation and shit like that, I couldn't talk to Cordelia until the day we were going to leave.

I was leaving the barracks all dressed up in armor when I stumbled into her. Almost ran into her, really. She was wearing her armor that time too, probably because she was going to continue training those new Pegasus Knight recruits. I'd almost forgotten how much it suited her. She looked at me with a frown on her face, which made me feel like the biggest asshole this side of the sun.

"You're leaving with the others, aren't you?" She asked, her voice heavy. "I heard from them that all of you are travelling to Khadein. Here I was thinking it was just a myth." She chuckled humorlessly. "Of course, I thought that of the Outrealm Gate as well."

"Heh," I laughed a little, despite myself. I couldn't muster up the courage to look her in the eye. "Yeah, I was gonna tell you, but… Well, it's probably just me making excuses, but I was really busy and when I looked for you I couldn't find you. Crap like that. You're not… mad, are you?"

"Mad?" She echoed, shaking her head. "No, I'm not mad. I just wish I knew sooner so I had time to say goodbye without being rushed." I could see her fiddling with her fingers. "Gods, I was busy too. Then again, when are we  _not_ busy?"

"Not very often, really."

"Yes," She sighed. "I was hoping we could go out again, but it doesn't seem like that will happen soon, will it?"

I gulped, a lump in my throat forming. "No. Not for a couple months. Fucking mountains are like that."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "…Then I suppose this is my one chance." She stepped closer, and my heart rate went straight the hell up. "I was hoping I could do this under better circumstances, but…"

_Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-_

Even through the leather, I could feel her warm hand cup my cheek as she pushed her body against me. Something soft pressed against my other cheek, sending a tingle down my spine and making the world seem lighter. She took a step back afterwards, but damn, I wished she kept going. All it would take would be a slight turn of my head and I'd never want to leave.

Cordelia kissed me on the cheek.

I could feel my face heat up, and judging from the healthy shade of scarlet her face took, I wasn't alone.

"T-That was for good luck," She stuttered out. "I really enjoyed when we went out, so when you return we will need to make up for lost time."

"Y-Yeah," I replied, rubbing the back of my neck. "We're definitely doing that. Uh… Thank you, for that, by the way. That was, er, unexpected."

She nodded, a small, beautiful smile on her lips. "You're welcome. Until we meet again, Alex!"

She waved as she left, and I couldn't help but wave back. Once she was out of sight, my good hand traced the cheek she had kissed.

"…Fuck, this is gonna be a long few months," I whispered harshly to myself.

* * *

I didn't so much walk as I did  _skip_  to where the wagons were being held. They were still being loaded with as much as they could hold, last minute provisions for when we headed out in just a few short hours.

My good mood didn't go unnoticed by a certain cavalier and her muscular friend.

"Hey, Alex!" Sully called, waving me over. "Damn, what's gotten into ya? Look like yer 'bout to go out to pick flowers instead of goin' to this shitty ruin."

"Not even you could bring me down, Sully," I replied smarmily, giving her a wide grin as I stood to her side. "Let's just say I'm on cloud nine right now, even if we're about to go to whatever the hell Khadein ends up being."

"Probably gotta good 'un from Cordy. Ya did, didn't ya?" Vaike asked, his smirk matching my own. "By Gods, I think he did! Damn, didn't think ya had it in ya, bud!"

"He's been spendin' a lotta time with her, hasn't he?" Sully asked to no one in particular, looking up at the ceiling. "And here I was thinkin' we'd have nothin' to talk 'bout while we're travellin'."

"Oh, we have plenty of things to talk about," I replied. "Like, for instance. Have you two tied the knot yet?"

Vaike's grin vanished while Sully's brows furrowed.

"The hell'd you just say, Alex?" Sully said, her voice rougher than usual.

I waved my hand lazily. "Hey, at least you got each other!" I chuckled, turning and walking away. "Sure you'll have plenty of time to get  _intimate_!"

I damn near cackled when I heard Vaike sputter like a dying lawnmower and Sully curse up a storm. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

For almost an entire month, we traveled. Conversation didn't dry up during that time, courtesy of Sully and Vaike. We may've gotten under each other's skin all the time, but it was all good fun. If anyone tried to hurt them, they'd have to get through me. I hoped it was the same for them. It was too bad we didn't have Gaius with us. Then we could've had some Poker Nights to spice up the monotony of travelling through the Ylissean and Feroxi countryside. Miriel and Ricken, who was tagging along, didn't really socialize all that much, sadly.

Conversation died down once we got to the mountains. The men and mages with us were already quiet, but as soon as we started ascending, it was almost like someone had soundproofed the entire world. It was so silent it felt like it  _absorbed_ noise.

We had to break out the cloaks and coats before too long. The farther we went up, the colder it got. Snow covered the rocky ground, so deep in some places it felt like quicksand. The cold wasn't  _that_ intolerable, though. And eventually, we made it.

_Khadein._

I first got a glimpse of it through a small flurry. The wagons and men escorting them went past me while my gaze was transfixed on the spires before me. They jutted out of the ground like spikes, as if you could fall and they'd impale you. I was sure to some people, it would be beautiful to look at.

To me, standing near a small mountain pass and seeing my own breath in the air, all I could feel was dread and anxiousness. Like something horrible was going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I lied about the Two-week cycle starting last chapter. It'll actually start this chapter. So after I publish this, the next chapter won't be posted until November 9th. So, you know. Because of that, these chapters will be more polished.
> 
> This is the fluffiest fuckin' chapter I've ever written. Enjoy it while it lasts. This won't be the end of it, but we won't see more of it for a while.
> 
> Not much else to say except I hoped you enjoyed. See you all in about two weeks!
> 
> Hopefully I'll have a cover by then...
> 
> A wild link to our Discord server appears: discord .gg/9XG3U7a


	24. At the Mountains of Madness

Khadein was a strange place. That may seem obvious, considering it used to be called the 'City of Magic,' and anyone who knows anything about magic knows that shit gets weirder the further along you get. The entire place consisted of giant spires rising up into the sky, protruding out of the ground like the ribs of a massive creature. In fact, looking up from the snowy ground, it almost felt like we were in the chest cavity of a giant monster.

_Fucking hell._

We began setting up camp just outside the forest of spires. It was to be home for the next few months while we checked the ruins. Wasn't looking forward to it; I had watched horror moviesto realize that it was a fucking deathtrap.

But, a part of me wanted to stay optimistic. Hopefully nothing horrible would happen.

While the camp was being built, I decided to do what I do best: help where I could and get to know everyone. Most of the men still didn't seem very talkative, although the other Shepherds were receptive.

In fact, one day, while the camp was still being built up, I ended up getting the lecture of a lifetime.

"Oi, Alex, get up," A rough, feminine voice barked at me, "I need ya."

"Fuck, Sully," I groaned, rubbing one of my eyes, "It's fuckin', what… Shit, no clocks. Well, it's early. The hell do you want?"

"Miriel's gettin' on my case 'bout somethin'," She said as she walked into the tent. "And I don't wanna go through it alone."

"Why don't you just get your boyfriend to go with you.  _God_ ," I replied without thinking, rustling around under my covers.

"Vaike's- Oh you  _sonuva-_ " I heard her stomp over to me, like the earth itself was quaking. "Ya better get outta that bag before I kick yer sorry ass outta it!"

"Fine, fine!" I said hastily, waving my left arm around. "Just gimme a sec. Gotta get my hand on."

A few minutes later, with my iron hand strapped on along with some warm clothes, I left with Sully.

People were already up and about, despite it being so early. Hell, it was fucking bone-chilling out, something that hadn't changed since we'd gotten there, and people were working. Propping up the last few tents, nailing stuff into the ground, that kinda thing.

A cold gust of wind ruffled my clothes, and I shivered. My breath came out in puffs of white mist. Sully wasn't faring much better, although it looked like she was trying to not show it.

"So, I'm guessing Vaike's helping with the last of the set up, then?" I asked, trying to clear the air.

"Yeah," Sully affirmed as she led me away from the camp. "Somethin', somethin', 'Teach's gotta show these knuckledraggers how it's done!', all that bull."

I cracked my neck and adjusted some of the fingers on my iron hand. "What's does Miriel want us for, anyway? We weren't supposed to go ruin diving until the camp got finished."

"Hell if I know," Sully shrugged. "Just went up to me all mystery-like, with that look in her eye – ya know,  _that_ look in her eye," Sully made a strange face at me with wide eyes and pursed lips. "Yeah, this one. Saying some crap 'bout how she's figured out where this Ransom guy went in. Didn't say a lot besides that."

"How wonderfully cryptic," I remarked dryly, looking at our makeshift camp as we left it behind. "Fuck, I feel vulnerable."

"Yeah, I hear ya," Sully agreed, before pointing in front of us. "There she is. Better have a good reason for gettin' us out here in this damn cold."

There was a person, standing in front of one of the many spires, outlined against the white ground.

" _You're_ the one who dragged  _me_ out here, remember?" I pointed out smarmily.

"You'd do the same to me, wouldn't ya?" Sully asked, eyes narrowing at me. "Ya don't like to be lectured at for hours alone, do ya?"

"I mean, fair point." I sighed, the mist almost blinding me. "Fuck it, let's see what she wants."

As we got closer, I could make out Miriel's ridiculous wizard hat. Still didn't see what point the thing served, but then again, I wasn't a mage and never would be. Miriel turned to us, her eyes seeming more focused than usual. Which was saying a lot, considering she looked at everything with near-laser precision.

"You brought a companion?" Miriel said once we got close, raising a brow out of curiosity.

"Yeah, I did. Why?" Sully asked, folding her arms. "There a problem with that?"

"On the contrary," Miriel began, adjusting her glasses, "That is ideal; having two individuals with which to explain the discoveries I have unearthed will assist my thought processes. A wall or the ground is not usually a good speaking partner."

"Ya see what I meant?" Sully said, turning to me, "We'll be here for  _hours_."

"Unlikely," Miriel rebuked, "This will take only an hour at the most. I will be able to edify in much less time than 'hours'."

"Damn, get shot down." I said.

"Say another word and we'll spar right here and now, Alex." Sully shot back.

"If both of you would follow me, I have much I wish to discuss," Miriel interrupted, turning and walking to one of the spires. After a few moments, Sully and I followed.

That sense of dread I'd felt since the moment we saw that corpse back at the college never went away. Especially when we were among the spires. I wasn't sure of Khadein was entirely spires like the ones around us, or whether most of the city was buried beneath ice and permafrost. Whatever the case, that nagging feeling didn't go away, no matter how hard I tried.

"So…" I started, not sure where to go with a conversation. "I know we agreed not to go into the ruins until the camp was ready, but it looks like you've already done some exploring yourself. Any reason why there're so many spires?"

Miriel spoke without slowing her gait. "There is precious little known about Khadein, save that it was a location during the time of Marth and was known as the 'City of Magic', as you know. I can only extrapolate a conclusion based on what I know. As for the spires," Miriel paused for a second. "Perhaps a display of opulence, or precedent set by mages of the time. Most of the city itself is buried beneath the earth, so they may appear smaller than they are."

"Well, ain't that dandy," Sully remarked dryly, looking up at the towers as we walked. "Think they were compensatin' for somethin'?"

"Someone had to say it, I guess." I chuckled.

"Ah, we have arrived." Miriel stopped. Nearly ran into her, I was so distracted by the structures around us. "I believe this is the area Ransom entered through, and where we shall descend when preparations are complete."

Sully whistled. "Mighty big hole he made, huh?"

I had to agree. In front of us was one of the many white towers, except this one had a giant, scorched hole in it. White stone bricks, blackened by unnatural fire were scattered around the snow covered ground. Because of the lighting, I couldn't really get a good look at the inside, but it appeared to be, well, the word that came to mind was immaculate. The same stone was used for the inside, and I could see shadowy shapes that were probably furniture.

"Ransom was a gifted mage, if nothing else," Miriel observed, opening a book. "According to my notes, he specialized in fire magic. That would explain the char marks. Now then." She closed the book with an audible 'clap'. "We shall not descend, but there are items within that I wish to explain. Follow me."

Silently, we followed her in. Our footsteps rang hollowly in the cold room. It was easily the most unwelcoming place I'd ever been in.

I was right about the shapes; there was furniture, most of it made of stone, like a table. However, there were a few things clearly made out of wood, which confused me. Khadein had been lost, apparently, for over a thousand years. How the hell had the wood not disintegrated? Even if the place was sealed.

"Ain't this place just the best?" Sully asked to no one in particular, walking around like she owned the place. "Sure was worth it sendin' our sorry asses all the way out to the frozen hellhole, yeah?"

I ignored her for the time being. "You said you wanted to tell us about what you discovered. Well," I held my arms out. "What did you discover?"

"In a moment. Allow me illuminate the room."

I'd never claim to understand magic. Even then, I didn't expect a tiny flame to appear in her hand, although it did light up the room. I could get a better look at everything, including the-

_My God._

The entire wall was covered in markings. Writing, it looked like, but not in Common or any language I'd ever seen. Looked like someone had scratched them into the wall with giant nails.

"What in the  _fuck_ …?" I mumbled, approaching a wall and traced my hand along one of the carvings. "This… wasn't a chisel, was it?"

"Unlikely," Miriel said, walking up next to me. "A chisel would have created different grooves. Observe, here." She traced her own finger along one of the many lines. "These markings were created by a single tool digging into the stone in a dragging motion. Unfortunately, it is difficult to determine whether they are recent or not."

I turned to her like she'd just told me the world was flat. "…'Recent'? The only guy who was around here was Ransom, right? Hell, I doubt this shit would tell us what turned him into that monster." I shivered, and it wasn't because of the biting cold. "Goddamn, that thing was creepy…"

"He ain't wrong, Miriel," Sully said, coming up behind us, "This shit's all creepy 'n crap, but it don't tell us a whole lot."

"Hmm," Miriel hummed, staring off into nothing for a moment. The room grew eerily quiet. I hated it. Felt like an unnatural kind of silence, like a soundproofed room. "I surmised that you would appreciate that I found an entry point for our expedition. The writing was merely a curiosity I wished to share. I have been trying to translate them for some time. They are a type of Runic script that has not been seen for thousands of years."

"Er… what?" I adjusted a few fingers on my iron hand nervously. "Runic script? Heard of Runes before but I'm kinda lost right now."

"Runes are most often used in religious or cult ceremonies in today's age," Miriel began to explain, adjusting her glasses. "These ones… yes, how interesting. The type of script here is ancient indeed. I will need to make charcoal sketches and decipher them later. For now, I have one last part to show you."

I didn't like this. That feeling of dread, roiling in my stomach like a goddamn leech, only grew stronger the longer we were in the walls of that spire. The writing on the walls didn't help. Felt like we'd just found the city of Ry'leh or some shit, and we were about to awaken fucking Cthulhu. And the worst part was that the writing could literally be written on the walls, and we'd never even know it was a warning. 'Stay the fuck out, dickheads' was my internal translation.

Reluctantly, and against my instincts, I followed Miriel to the back of the room, opposite of the hole to the outside world. I nearly tripped over my own feet when I saw the goddamn black void in front of me.

"Stairs to the lower levels," Miriel said, standing on the edge of the gaping abyss with no fear. "You recall when I spoke of Khadein, I surmised that most of the city itself is buried beneath the earth? This is what inspired that hypothesis."

"I ain't goin' near that right now," Sully said instantly, her voice uncharacteristically fearful. Or maybe that was just me. "Not 'till we got the camp all done."

"I would not expect you to," Miriel assured. "I suggest a contingent of no less than fifteen armed individuals. Khadein was a city of magic; anything could be lurking around in the dark below."

"Yeah," I mumbled, transfixed by the inky void in front of me. It was like the mouth of a Lovecraftian monster. "And whatever turned Ransom into a monster, too. He went down there, and look what happened to him."

My stomach lurched, and I resisted the urge to throw up. All of a sudden, I felt nauseous. I didn't want to be there anymore. Something was wrong. I wanted to go back, to go home-

I took a deep breath and turned to the others. "Well, let's head back. Still gotta get the camp ready before we go charging in there."

* * *

It was just a couple days before we headed into Khadein that I found her.

I was checking our supplies, making sure we'd have enough to survive the coming Winter. Not the most entertaining work in the world, but it was better than staring down into the depths of Khadein like we did the day before. I swear, I saw that entrance in my nightmares. Nothing but inky blackness as far as the eye could see.

Anyway, as I was marking things down, I noticed something rustle beneath a pile of blankets, towards the back of the wagon.

"Huh?" I stood straight up, nervousness overtaking me for a few seconds. A dozen things came to mind about what could be under the blankets, none of them pleasant. I imagined Ransom's deformed body underneath a sheet, staring up at the ceiling with glassy, fishlike eyes.

I swallowed, a lump of anxiety forming in my throat as I approached the bundle. My footsteps sounded like bombs going off, they felt so loud.

In one quick motion, I plunged my hand into the blankets and tore them away.

I blinked. "…Excuse me, what?"

A girl with greenish-blonde hair laid curled up on the floor of the wagon, trying to clutch a pile of blankets that wasn't there anymore. A moment later, she yawned, sitting up while I stared at her incredulously. There was no way in hell. Fucking no way.

"Hah, it's  _cold_." She pouted, looking at me. "Why'd you take the blankets away? Not that I  _really_ need them, but I was comfy!"

I began shaking, gesturing at her half-naked body. "W-Well, maybe you should put some actual fuckin' clothes on. If you're so  _cold_ , Nowi."

I hadn't spoken to Nowi ever since we saved her in the desert all those months ago. Therefore, I didn't really know how to deal with her. It didn't help that I knew for a fucking  _fact_ that she wasn't supposed to come with us.

"Whatever," She replied nonchalantly, standing up and stretching. I pointedly looked away from her when she did; even if there were technically no police, not the way I knew them at least, I wasn't about to risk that shit. "I was going to wake up soon anyway. Hey, when do we eat? I'm starving!"

"…My God, I don't know what to say," I murmured to myself, my left hand clenching and unclenching. "What… What the hell are you even  _doing_ here!? Fucking, just sleeping in the supplies this whole goddamn time?"

"Someone's grumpy, huh?" Nowi giggled. "I mean, yeah. I was booored!" She walked around me, rummaging around in one of the crates. "Heard you guys were going to a dusty old ruin, so I wanted to go to. But then Robin was like:" She stood up straight, turned around and put a hand behind her back. "'No, Nowi, you cannot. This is a highly delicate operation'. Like I can't be all delicate when I want to be!  _Ptoeey_!" She laughed. "I can't believe I could do his voice like that! I need to do that more."

_Deep breaths, deep breaths…_

I sighed, massaging the bridge of my nose. "…Alright, fine, I guess you're here now. Nothing I can really do about it. I doubt you could fly through the mountains in your dragon form with how cold it is outside anyway."

"Well, I mean, I  _could_ ," She replied. "But yeah, I don't wanna. Besides, Ricken's here, right?"

I rose a brow. "Yeah, he is. Why?"

"Oh, that's  _perfect!_ " She entered another giggling fit. "I am  _so_ gonna surprise him! The look on his face…!"

"Oh God, it's happening." I groaned, sitting down on a nearby crate. "It's fucking happening. Not even coming here could get it away from me."

"Hmm? Get away from what?" Nowi asked curiously, leaning her upper body forward. "Gosh, are you always so down?"

"It's nothing," I waved off. "Can't escape the love lives of people no matter where I fucking go. First, Sully and Vaike, and now you and Ricken. Christ on a bicycle."

"Hey, stop being like that! Would it kill you to smile a little?"

"At this point? Probably."

"Jeesh, you really  _are_ a downer."

"Only when I deal with half-naked children hitching a ride on an expedition to this year's coldest hellhole," I said, the frown on my face deepening. "Fucking hell, I just wanted to take inventory."

"Okay, first of all, I'm, like, a dozen times older than you are!" Nowi retorted, counting her fingers. "Second of all, it isn't  _that_ cold. Third of all…" Her expression became vacant. "Actually, that's it. Anyway, get up Mr. Frowny, I wanna go find Ricken."

"Just end my suffering," I buried my face in my good hand. "Please. I beg you."

"Okay, it was a funny a second ago, now it's just sad. C'mon, get uuuuup!"

* * *

I felt like a zombie as I marched through the camp, keeping an eye out for a short mage with an oversized hat. It wasn't how I wanted to spend my afternoon, just a few days away from marching into Khadein's depths, but I thought it better to just appease the half-naked dragon loli rather than piss her off. Especially if she had a Dragonstone on her.

_Fucking hell, what a disaster._

Walking through the camp, I noted the amount of people walking from tent to tent. Made a mental note to try and get to know some of them before we descended into the dark. I'd rather go through that abyss with someone I was at least acquainted instead of a complete stranger I didn't even know the name of. Besides, there was a bit of a mixture of people that I could find interesting. Feroxi soldiers, Ylissean Knight, and mages. Not everyday you saw a gathering of people like that. Not since the end of the war, at least.

Finally, after what felt like an hour, I found him. Found is hat first, actually, poking out from a small group of people.

"Hey, Ricken," I called. The hat stopped moving, and if my eyes weren't lying to me, it began shaking. "I need you. Come here."

Slowly, the short teen stepped out into the open. He eyed me warily as he approached, like I was a predator about to eat him. I had to stop myself from groaning, concerned he'd up and run away if I did that.

"E-Er," He stuttered, playing with his hands. "I-Is there something I can do for you, sir?"

Hoping to God that Nowi would do her thing soon, I kept the conversation going. "Yeah, Miriel's been translating some writing we found in one of the towers. Know if she's made any progress or not?"

Could've sworn Ricken shivered at my words. I couldn't tell if it was because of  _what_ I was saying or if he was just scared of me in general. Didn't know why he'd be scared of me, but it appeared he was, from what I was seeing of him.

"Um, no, not really," Ricken replied stiffly. Slightly tilting my head in slight confusion made him wince. Why was it so easy to make him squirm? "S-She's been in her tent since she went to get those charcoal drawings. I haven't heard from her since."

I noticed a flash of greenish-blonde behind him, so I kept going. I was meaning to ask him about Miriel anyway, might as well continue the conversation while I could. "Fucking hell, why's Miriel gotta do this now?. We go charging in there in like, what, a day? Then she pulls something like this." I took a deep breath. "Well, thanks for telling me, at least. Looks like I'll have to look for her myself." Before Ricken could scurry off, I stopped him. "Hey. One last thing."

"Y-Yes?"

"Look out behind you," I said, in the most monotone tone of voice I could manage.

Ricken's face, looking at me like I was a tiger about to tear his throat out, went blank out of confusion. In the next moment, Nowi glomped him from behind, wrapping her arms around him as they both tumbled to the icy ground. Ricken screaming like a cat with its tail caught in the door and Nowi giggling like a madwoman filled my ears and drew the attention of several people around us.

"Got you, Ricken!" Nowi said triumphantly, smirking as she sat up. "Betcha didn't expect me, huh?"

"N-Nowi!? What in Naga's name are you doing here!?" Ricken asked incredulously, his high-pitched voice making me cringe. "Y-You weren't supposed to be here! Robin said it would just be us!"

"Pfft." Nowi replied wisely. "Robin can say whatever he wants. I thought you'd be happy to see me!"

"It's not that," Ricken coughed, standing up. "I just… I'm a little confused."

"Trust me, kid," I mumbled, crossing my arms across my chest. "Just accept it. There ain't any way we're getting her outta here now."

"But she's…" Ricken groaned. "Well, I guess it won't be so bad. Just… Just please don't fall asleep with your Dragonstone, okay? I swear Chrom's still mad from the last time that happened."

"I already said I was sorry about that!" Nowi claimed indignantly, jumping to her feet. She was probably the only person on the planet who was even slightly shorter than Ricken. I chuckled a little as I thought of that. "But don't worry, I've been trying to sleep without it! But I kinda need something else there if I wanna sleep well at all."

"Oh, just end my fucking life." I rubbed the bridge of my nose for what felt like the five-hundredth time that day. "Okay, I'll leave you two to your little lover's quarrel, then. I'll go and talk with Miriel."

"Thanks for helping me, Alex!" Nowi said cheerfully, making Ricken sputter as she hugged him again. "You know, even if you  _are_ a major downer!"

I grunted as I walked away, leaving the duo alone. I noticed the crowd gathering. "…What're you all looking at? Go about your business."

Could at least make sure they weren't being gawked at.

Despite what I said, it wasn't until later in the day that I finally got around to finding Miriel. Ricken mentioned that she hadn't left her tent since she transcribed those strange runes we found in the open spire, so that limited the amount of places she could be to exactly one.

* * *

Eventually, with the light of the setting sun making the spires cast shadows over our entire camp, I went to Miriel's tent.

I was nervous, but then I'd been nervous since we saw that corpse back in Ylisstol. Once again, my mind filled with horrible thoughts. What on earth did those runes say that had Miriel barricading herself in her tent? Fucking hell, Khadein really  _was_ reminding me of Ry'leh the more time we spent there. Take one wrong step and we'd summon Cthulhu and the Great Old Ones.

"Miriel?" I called her name outside her tent. No response. "It's me, Alex. I'm coming in!"

I opened the flap of the tent.

First thing that occurred to me was just how dark it was. Not as pitch black as the literal hole into the abyss we found a while before, but enough to daze me. The best I could describe it as would be that it was very 'Miriel'. No bookshelves, but a few desks pushed to the corners of the tent, filled with all manner of crap, all organized into neat little areas. Safe to say I didn't know what any of them did.

Towards the back of the tent, I could just make out the light of an oil lamp, and the silhouette of a person hunched over a desk. Cautiously, I approached.

"Uh, Miriel," I said, coming up to her back. "That you? You're freaking me out."

Once I got closer, I heard a scribbling and mumbling. Throwing propriety to the wind, I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Miriel," I repeated, shaking her slightly. "Come back down to Earth, spacewoman."

"…Who…?" She hissed, turning around. She wasn't wearing her hat, giving me a full view of her pale face. Her eyes almost seemed to glow behind her glasses. "Oh, it is you."

I gulped. "Yeah, it's me. Could you stop looking at me like I just interrupted your life's work? You're creeping me the fuck out."

"I am busy," She replied. "What could be so salient that you would interrupt my delicate work?"

"Well," I began, rubbing the back of my neck. "I was actually wondering how the translation of those runes was going. Ricken told me you've been working on them, and that you also haven't left your tent since getting those charcoal sketches. But if you want, I'll leave."

She stared at me for a moment, and I only then noticed how exhausted she looked. Miriel took off her glasses, rubbing the lenses against her robe and sighing. "Alexander, I am a woman of intelligence. I have been told that I am genius, a prodigy, and all other synonyms. I have studied entire theories of magic for the thrill of it. Believe me when I tell you, that I have  _no idea what those runes mean_."

_Excuse me what._

Miriel looked back to her desk, spreading several papers out. "I have been trying to translate them, and yet all I can see is  _gibberish._ Utterly incomprehensible  _babbling_. It does not make any amount of sense. It is as if the individual who scratched them into the wall was simply writing whatever came to their mind. I am  _so_ ," I could see her clench her fist over the desk, as if she was about to punch it. She relaxed before it came to that. "There exists no word in any language that can convey my frustration with my inability to decipher this script."

I was taken aback with her reaction. If she couldn't find out what the runes meant, then I doubt there was anyone who could.

"Well… Shit, we're going in blind, aren't we?" I took a deep breath. "Then again, we came here thinking we already were, huh?"

"…Indeed," Miriel replied, pushing herself from the desk. "All I can glean from these runes are phrases. Simple words. Translated into common, they sound archaic, but there can be some meaning. 'Darkness' appears with frequency. 'Monster' is written in several instances. But those are words. I cannot translate a full sentence. See here." She pointed to a charcoal sketch, a rune with sharp edges in the shape of a square with a hole in the middle. "Normally, with this type of runic script, the lines are smoother, with less of an emphasis on the point in the center. That could change its entire meaning to something unknown.

I felt a shiver go down my spine for reasons I couldn't understand. "That's both vague and creepy as hell. They were scratched into the wall, though. You shouldn't beat yourself up about it, though. If you can't get something outta that crap, then I don't think anyone can."

"And therein lies the issue, Alex." Miriel sighed, standing up. "If I cannot translate them, then no one can. Who can decipher the full meaning of these runes? Perhaps Khadein developed its own script that is only tangentially related to those used commonly in that era…"

"Okay," I said slowly, putting my hand on her shoulder again. "I think you need to take a break; get some fresh air. You've been in here for, uh, how long?"

"It feels as if it has only been hours."

"Then you really  _have_ been in here for days. Goddamnit." I ran my hand through my hair. "Yeah, you need to get outta here. We're going tomb raiding in a couple days; can't have you mumbling to yourself and barely able to stand. Go outside and get something to eat, alright?"

Miriel muttered something I couldn't hear as she walked slowly to the tent's entrance. I was going to follow her, but my eye caught the charcoal sketches of the runes sprawled all over the desk she'd be using.

I moved the chair and picked one up, studying it. It was an ugly looking thing; sharp lines like the blades of swords formed an octagon. Miriel said that several of them translated into words, and I couldn't stop thinking about them. Darkness. Monster. The dark below and the monster we saw back in Ylisstol. The monster that once was a man. I could almost visualize his face, contorted into a facsimile of a dragon, eyes wide and teeth bared to the ceiling.

Looking back on it, it almost looked like he was smiling.

* * *

"Vaike, I'm just-" I ran my left hand down my face, feeling cold sweat through my fingers. "Something's not right about this place, you know what I mean? It's like I can't calm the hell down since we've gotten here. I haven't been able to sleep well either. And honestly, I think it's getting to the others too."

Vaike looked at me quietly, his usual rowdiness gone. "I dunno what to tell ya, Alex. Not that Teach don't wanna help ya." He looked to the distance. The spires of Khadein stood on the horizon, constantly casting shadows over our entire camp. "Aww, who gives a damn? We're goin' down there and kicking the dung outta anyone or anything doin' this. What's there to worry 'bout?"

"It turned a man into a monster," I replied, although his words eased me a little. "But… yeah, we're gonna go down there and kick ass. We fucking better, at least. And soon. How much longer do you think it'll be until the camp'll be ready?"

Vaike held a vacant expression for a moment before he started counting on his fingers. "Hmm… One, two… Er, yeah, two days, Teach thinks. Had to go and talk to some of the men earlier today and that's what they told me."

"…Did you just use your fingers to… add?" I said slowly.

"Hey, just 'cause the Vaike ain't the best at math don't mean he can't do it at all!"

I waved him off, hoping to keep the conversation going for just a little while longer. The levity was sorely needed. "I'm not saying you can't do math, 'Teach'," I began, a shit-eating grin on my face. "Just saying that you may've needed a couple pointers when it comes to basic addition and subtraction."

"Now hang on just a sec, Alex," Vaike said, pointing at me and smiling dangerously. "Ya think that yer invincible 'cause you got a shiny new position, huh? Well, lemme tell ya, I still remember when you were just a scrawny lil' thing hopin' to beat me in an arm wrestling match!"

"My God, I can't believe you actually remember that," I groaned, resisting the urge to slam my head into the table between us. "…Wait, you guys fucking made me do that! And I put up a fight, didn't I?"

"Uh huh. Sure did," Vaike nodded, that cocky grin still on his face. "But puttin' up a fight and  _winnin'_ are two different things, yeah? Ya didn't win then, and you sure as hell ain't gonna win ever!"

"Alright, fucker," I laughed viciously, placing my left arm on the table. "Put 'em up, bucko. You got yourself a fuckin'  _fight._

Vaike guffawed, grabbing my hand. "Ha! Knew all I had to do was get ya all riled up! Now we're talkin'! Let's go! Three, two, one,  _go_!"

I'd been training to use my left hand in everything from combat to basic actions since I was Knighted. It almost felt as right as using my old dominant hand, though I doubt I'd ever really get used to it being gone. Safe to say, though, that my left arm was  _strong_. I was in the best shape I'd ever been.

Vaike grunted trying to get my hand to go down. He was strong, incredibly strong, but I was as well. So, we were locked in a stalemate, neither wanting the other to win for possible bragging rights.

_Kinda wish Sully was here now. She'd get to see me beat her boyfriend in an arm-wrestling match._

I didn't know how long Vaike and I were caught in a stalemate like that. Eventually, though, I began to falter. My left hand buckled and was promptly slammed against the table. Judging from Vaike's jovial, if strained, expression, he wasn't far from giving in either.

"Har!" Vaike chortled. "Two for the Vaike, zero for Alex!"

I flexed my left hand, trying to get the aching to go away. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, musclehead. Let's be real, you were about to fuckin' go down too, weren't you?"

Vaike pounded his strangely covered chest. "Nah, yer just seein' things! Teach wasn't even breakin' a sweat!"

I coughed loudly in a very fake way. "Ah, sorry, Vaike. It's just that I'm allergic to bullshit."

"Ain't Vaike's fault yer a sore loser, Alex." Vaike laughed again. It died down a second later. "But… yeah, yer gettin' mighty strong yourself. Not as strong as Teach, mind, but strong. Stronger than you were and ya done lost a hand since then! Heh, if ya had yer…" I frowned. "Er, sorry 'bout that."

I looked down at my iron hand, the metal glinting in the small light available. "Yeah, it's fine, man. Don't worry about it." I placed it on the table, hearing the dull 'thunk' when it landed. "I'd… like to think I've gotten used to it. Using my left hand for everything, I mean. But I don't think I'll ever get used to my right hand being gone. Shit like that won't go away, you know?"

"Damn, I don't," Vaike said awkwardly. "Had wounds before, yeah, but never lost a limb." He shook his head, his grin returning. "Anyway, even without it, yer damn good when it comes to strength. Just gotta keep training, and someday you'll be as good as Teach! Probably not any time soon, though. Gotta work for  _years_ to get these kinda muscles."

Maybe Khadein really  _was_ getting to me, if I kept slipping into topics like my hand. The frown on my face disappeared, replaced by a smile. "Ha, just you wait, Vaike, I'll fucking beat you one of these days. And it'll be in front of your girlfriend, too."

"Sully's- Oh for-" Vaike looked about ready to slap me upside the head. "The Vaike don't appreciate all that teasin' yer doing. Getting' on my nerves!"

"Well, maybe if you two would just tie the fucking knot already-!"

My teasing session was cut short when we heard shouting outside. Vaike and I shared a glance before springing into action, our weapons out as we charged outside.

* * *

When we went out into the cold air of the evening, I was expecting any number of things. Us being attacked. Somebody getting injured. Mole-people popping out of the fucking ground and eating people. Shit like that. What I didn't expect to see was a giant group of people all crowding around a single point.

"…Vaike?" I said questioningly.

He nodded. "Yeah, think I know what's goin' on. Let's get through these rabble-rousers first, yeah?"

We began pushing through the large crowd. Shoving our way through, really. Not like they were offering many openings. Some of the men cursed at us until they got a good look at us. The Shepherds were a pretty big deal; not only were we basically war heroes – as much as I despised being called that, that's what people thought of us, from what I gathered – but we were also in charge of the whole damned expedition.

Because of that, the crowd eventually started moving on its own, until we finally got a good look at what exactly was happening.

Two men stood in the middle of a circle made by the crowd. One was a fairly well-kempt guy, wearing the usual armor of a soldier. Thought I saw him around while we were travelling but couldn't say I knew him. He looked somewhat familiar, though. The other guy was definitely Feroxi; he wore the traditional fur armor and everything and was hefting an axe around.

The duo were at a standoff, it seemed, each with their weapon drawn.

"What the  _fuck_ is going on here!?" I shouted, catching their attention. "Didn't realize we had training today. Who forgot to tell me?"

"Ah, damn, now look what ya done!" The Feroxi said, gritting his teeth. "Didn't want it to come to this!"

"Your lies offend me, Feroxi hound," The Ylissean soldier spat. "You knew exactly what you were getting into when you insulted my senses with your presence."

"Ladies, ladies, settle down," Vaike said, perhaps a bit tone-deaf. "Yer both pretty. Now, looks like Alex and I came a lil' late to the party. What in Naga's name happened, men?"

"This  _dog_ ," The soldier emphasized. "spoke of my countrymen as if we are all children playing with twigs. I merely wish to correct his mistaken assumption."

Vaike nodded to the Feroxi, who crossed his arms and regarded the Ylissean with barely contained contempt. "And this Ylissean milk-drinker right here said he don't give two shits 'bout us. Him and all his ilk think us bandits. Don't deserve to be here. Ya know what we do to boot-lickers who say that kinda crap?"

I knew that, while Ylisse and Ferox were allies, there had been years of bad blood between them for years just a couple centuries before. When I thought about it, who  _didn't_ have bad blood with Ylisse? It was harder to find people who liked us than people who hate us.

Rubbing the bridge of my nose as the dynamic duo argued a little more like two kids fighting over a toy, I felt anger bubbling inside me. We were out there, in the middle of bumblefuck nowhere, surrounded on all sides by icy mountains and standing above one of the greatest and most terrifying archaeological discoveries In Ylisse and Ferox's history, and there were still morons who were fighting about essentially  _nothing._  Both had slighted the other in some way, but they didn't see it that way. I kind of just wanted to slap the shit out of them, but that didn't set a good example, so I opted for a more cautious approach.

Besides, Vaike wasn't the best at talking to people. Neither was I, really, but I was better than him.

"Alright," I grunted, getting the attention of the two. I gestured to the Ylissean soldier. "You, what's your name?"

"Derek Nathaniel Claive, sir," He replied, all prim and proper. "Third in line for House Claive."

"…Claive?" I knew he looked familiar. "You wouldn't happen to be related to Edward Claive, would you?"

Derek blinked. "That I would be, sir. He's my older brother."

I nodded. "Yeah, thought you were. I fought alongside your brother during the war. Good guy. Now, you." I tilted my head to the Feroxi. "What's your name?"

The Feroxi pounded a fist to his chest, smiling jovially. "Kollin Verandat, that's the name! Shout it from the mountains and it'll cause an avalanche!" A small cheer of approval echoed from several men in the crowd, though it passed quickly.

Nodding again, I beckoned both men towards me. "Hey, Vaike?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you…" I gestured to the conspicuous crowd around us. "Get 'em to make like trees and fuck off? This'll only take a second, I think."

"Don't know why a tree'd 'fuck off' but I getcha." Vaike turned, staring down the crowd and shooing them away. "Get back, you lot! Ain't nothing here for ya to see! Go on!"

Once the two men were nearby, both of them looking at me with curiosity, I took a deep breath. "Alright, look, guys," I began. "It's been a long few weeks, right? Especially since we're so far from civilization and crap. Shit like that gets to you. I get that. But this?" I waved my iron hand at both of them. "This ain't right. This, this is fucking  _bullshit_. Both of you. I don't care about this 'he-said-she-said' dogshit. It's not productive. It doesn't help a single fucking person on the continent. Look at me." I paused, staring each of them in the eye. "Lock it down. Forget about it. Derek, the Feroxi are here because this is  _their_ territory. Can't tolerate them? Tough shit. And Kollin? I happen to be Ylissean as well, so if you wanna fucking go shit-slinging, just remember you're insulting me, too."

My breath was visible in the air as I gazed at the duo. Derek's expression was contemplative, while Kollin's was sour, like he ate a lemon.

"Maybe, when you phrase it like that, it seems… childish," Derek said, bitterly.

Kollin grunted.

"There will be no more problems, understand?" I asked. Both men nodded. "Good. Too much shit surrounding this hellhole for petty bullshit. Go on, then."

The two men exchanged glances one last time before parting ways, heading for different sides of the camp.

I heard someone whistle nearby and blinked. Next thing I knew, Vaike had hooked his arm around my shoulders. "Ha! Damn, when'd ya get all leader-like? Sent those guys off with their tails between their legs!"

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, unsure of what to say. "Eh, I dunno. Glad it's over, though."

* * *

I groaned as I stretched in my seat, the wood creaking like it was decades old. I tapped my fingers against the desk in front of me. Two pieces of parchment, an inkwell and a feather sat on top of it, waiting for me to get to work.

"…Fucking hell, what do I do?" I murmured to myself, leaning forward and taking the quill out of the inkwell, flexing my fingers a little more. It was difficult, learning how to write with my left hand, but now I could do it without much difficulty. I wasn't even that bad at writing in Common anymore; got rid of that whole flowery speech I used to do.

Licking my lips, I began writing. The scratching of the quill against the parchment rang hollowly in my ears. Thankfully, the other Shepherds, who shared a tent with me, were all outside.

* * *

_Robin,_

_Tomorrow, we descend into hell. Not literally, but you get the idea. Khadein's creepy; the only thing that's left of the place are these giant white spires jutting out of the ground. Miriel went exploring a couple days back and found a hole in one of them, filled with a ton of strange writing and wooden furniture that hasn't decayed. The best part was the hole into the abyss in the back. We head down there tomorrow, around the same time I'm supposed to be giving this letter to the Griffon Rider. So, probably won't hear from me again until we come back out._

_I'll be honest with you, Robin, I don't like this. This place gives me the creeps, and it's getting to the men, too. I had to break up an argument just yesterday. I didn't realize just how different people from Feroxi and guys from Ylisse are, or how they'd go off fighting just because of a bit of trash talk. Morons. But seriously, this place isn't right. There's this pressure around everything, it makes me want to clench my teeth like I'm preparing for something, and I don't know what._

_Maybe it's nothing. Hopefully it's nothing. I'll transcribe one of the runes Miriel found below. Hopefully you'll be able to find out something about it. She ran herself ragged trying to translate them. Apparently they're a type of runic script that hasn't been seen in centuries, but then again, this entire place hasn't been seen in centuries._

_I'll write more about what we discover in the next letter._

_Your friend,_

_Alexander Jameson Wright_

* * *

Once I got to writing, the words just kept coming out until the letter was done. I had to re-ink the quill a couple of times, but nothing broke my concentration. I set the parchment aside to wait for the ink to dry. Another piece of parchment stared blankly up at me, almost felt intimidating in a way. A different kind of intimidating. This one wasn't work related.

_C'mon, boy scout, you've gone on a fucking date with her already. Where'd your balls go?_

I had to keep myself from slamming my face into the desk. For what felt like minutes, I couldn't think of a way to even start the letter. Eventually, I steeled myself, and forced my hand to write.

* * *

_Dear Cordy,_

_How are you? Doing well, I hope. You seemed to be doing better before I left, so I hope nothing's come up to get to you again. Then again, you're stronger than that. It'd take more than a few road bumps to get you down. Just wish I could be back with you and everyone in Ylisstol. It's cold as hell up here._

_I was thinking about what we could do when I get back. Can't exactly do the same thing, unless you wanted to. Maybe go out to the city and see the sights and all that. Change of pace. Heard there's a ton of statues around. Or maybe we could have dinner. With the amount of gold I make I could probably afford some of the quality stuff. Of course, you make a lot too, but I guess I just want to treat you to something nice again. Call me anything you want, I can take it._

_I know this might be a bit improper of me to put in a letter, but I miss you. Like, a lot. Every time my mind drifts somewhere I start thinking about you. It's maddening, but not in a bad way. I like the feeling. Reminds me it isn't all doom and gloom out here in this frozen hellhole._

_It's funny, I said I think about you all the time, and then I sat here and stared at this parchment for five minutes trying to figure out what to say. Hopefully I'll be better at speaking in person than in letters._

_See you again soon,_

_Alex_

* * *

I could feel the warmth at my cheeks as I pushed the parchment to the side to dry. Didn't even know why I was feeling that way, but I was. Wouldn't go so far to say that I was embarrassed, but the emotions were unmistakable.

If she had that hold over me even though she was miles away, I'd be putty in her hands when I got back.

I took another deep breath, waiting for my heart to calm down. I had to prepare for bed early that night, considering where we were going the next day.

That other feeling, the one that felt like an icy claw going through my stomach, returned once I remembered that. The warm feeling was nice while it lasted.

* * *

The day had finally come.

Fifteen of us gathered outside the opened spire, ready to charge into the abyss. And, by God, all I could hear was my heart beating in my chest like an malfunctioning jackhammer. The wind chilled my body as I stood next to Sully, Vaike, and Miriel, looking over the men who'd be going with us.

Besides us four, five Ylissean soldiers, four Feroxi fighters, and two mages made up our little party. I was a bit ashamed to admit that I only knew two of them by name. Kollin and Derek were going in with us.

I just hoped they didn't fuck up anything with stupid arguments. That was the last thing we needed.

"Alright, men, listen up," Sully began, clapping once. "Today, we're gonna go down into the deep part of these giant-ass ruins. Now, remember, this place hasn't been seen for over a thousand years. Make sure ya bring your handkerchiefs, 'cause it's gonna be dusty." A few snickers. Sully knew how to lighten the mood, thank God. "Don't know what we'll find down there, but we come across anything, we take it out, got it? Whatever's down there turned a guy into something uglier than Vaike's cookin'"

"Oi, what she just say 'bout my cookin'? Like ya got any room to talk down to Teach 'bout that!" Vaike interjected.

"Don't mind him; he's on the rag." Sully smirked. A couple laughs from the audience. I couldn't help but groan at their antics.

I turned to Miriel, who seemed to be almost jittering with anticipation. "Right, we get it, Sully," I said, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "Basically, if there's monsters down there, we kill them, and if there are any magical artifacts, we take them. We probably won't be down there long, considering there's only fifteen of us, but keep your guard up."

"Well look at Alex, takin' charge," Sully remarked. "He ain't wrong, though. Anyway, let's go. Get this done sooner rather than later."

"Indeed," Miriel said, her voice containing a slight tremble. "May this journey edify us all."

Ricken and Nowi were staying behind, along with most of the men. We'd take a larger group of people into the depths once we confirmed what kind of fuckery was going on. Most of the men were handpicked, and some of the best. Besides, it'd get too crowded with a larger group, if the room Ransom had broken in through was any indication.

Once Sully's pep-talk was over, we entered the ruin. The path into the depths of Khadein was just as black and void-like as when we saw it a few days before. Our footsteps rang hollow in the stone room of the opened spire, giving me a weird sense of vertigo.

I lit a torch and held it in my iron hand, standing in the front of the group. Giving one last glance to Vaike, his battle-axe already in his hands, I took the first step.

The inky blackness recoiled to the corners as we descended into Khadein.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter I've written for this fic, and it's almost entirely set-up for this small mini-Arc. Ain't that dandy?
> 
> Nothing much to say, but having written a lot about this arc so far, I miss the fluff with Cordy. Don't worry, though. That'll come back to the forefront again. Just gotta get through this first!
> 
> Yaaaaay!
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a


	25. Dagon

My eyes strained to see anything in the inky blackness that surrounded us. The torchlight ensured the dark didn't completely close in on us, but it did not get very far before fading. It was a strange darkness, the kind that slithered away at the light. It made it hard to see anything. What I could see, though, was… well, I wasn't sure how to put it.

The stonework of Khadein was impeccable, as the spires above ground indicated. However, that did not prepare me for what we saw. Intricately carved white statues portraying the likeness of ancient figures lined the room we were in, like a procession for a funeral. With the meager light available casting shadows, the figures look grim, menacing even, as if they were still alive. Even the walls themselves were decorated with patterns and shapes, so many that it made me dizzy.

And we were only down maybe a couple floors. The stairs had led us down from the opened room, occasionally opening into another empty space that we would investigate. The only sounds were our armored footsteps and the eerie crackling of our torches.

The mages could've helped with the torches, but apparently they were saving their energy. Couldn't exactly blame them; Khadein had been giving me bad vibes from the beginning, and now that we were in the belly of the beast, my stomach was busy tying itself into knots.

"…Christ on a bicycle…" I mumbled to myself quietly as we passed into a corridor, stretching as far as the eye could see, that same white stonework enshrouded in darkness.

I felt a chill, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight.

_Something is watching you._

Instinctively, I turned around only to see Vaike giving me a confused look. "What? Got somethin' on my face?"

I snorted. Finally, conversation! "Nah, thought it was something, then I just realized it was part of your face." I waved my hand. "Don't worry about it, man."

Vaike grunted indignantly. The chuckles of a few of the men made me smile despite the atmosphere. "Tough words. Wait 'til we get outta here-!"

"U-Uh, sirs?" A small voice said. I stopped and swiveled on my heels, and the rest of the party stopped with me. "I-I thought I saw something down there!"

I furrowed my brow, turning back around and focusing. The torchlight didn't reach very far, as I said, so all I saw was darkness, with a vague outline of the corridor being my only real guide forward. I shook my head.

"I don't see anything. Don't hear anything either." I looked behind me. I could tell who said that; a smaller Ylissean soldier towards the back of the formation. "Calm down. I know it's dark as hell down here, but it won't help us to go jumping at shadows."

The soldier nodded solemnly, only to yelp when one of the Feroxi fighters slapped him on the back. "Don't worry, kiddo, we got this! You Ylissean's just stay behind us, yeah? Give us moral support!"

"I heard that, dastard…" One of the other Ylissean soldiers grumbled out, almost too quiet to hear.

"Hey, what's goin' on?" I could hear Sully question from the far back. "We pickin' daisies? Sorry ladies, ain't many flowers down here for ya. Get movin'!"

I was not eager to keep going; I could swear there was something wrong. Very wrong. The darkness felt wrong. It felt like, at the first sign of our torches fading, it would rush in and devour us whole-

Taking a deep breath, I forced my legs to move. The group behind me followed. Once we were nearing the apparent end of the corridor, I said, "Hey, Miriel, how much farther do you think we should go down?"

No response.

I spun around quickly, nearly slamming my iron hand into Vaike's face. "Miriel!?"

"…Yes? Apologies, I find myself… in awe," She finally replied, quietly. I let out a sigh of relief. "You asked me something, correct?"

I nodded as Vaike gave me the stink eye. "Yeah, how much farther should we go? There's only fifteen of us, and I don't think we should go very far before heading back."

"Ah, perhaps one more level down," Miriel said, adjusting her glasses. With the way the light was reflecting off her pale skin, it almost made her look like one of the white statues from earlier. "I wish to see if we may find some evidence as to what Ransom found within these ruins."

"…That's not the best reason, but fine. Not like I'm in the front or anything," I grumbled. "Alright, one more set of stairs to go, men. Just a little farther and we can go back to our lovely frozen camp."

A few quiet groans echoed in the corridor.

Soon enough, we made it to the end. Apparently, the people of Khadein were not fond of doors; we hadn't come across a single door, wooden or otherwise, since the beginning of our descent. Just big, yawning archways that led further into the slithering depths.

"… _Fuck my life…_ " I hissed, taking the first step down.

We weren't even halfway down before I saw something at the corner of my eye. It was fast, just barely being noticed by me. My head swiveled to where I saw it, focusing on the corner. All I saw was the same clawing blackness as everywhere else. Almost felt like the darkness itself was mocking me for my stupidity.

_Tell that one guy it doesn't help to jump at shadows, now look at you!_

The silence became almost suffocating once we reached the end of the staircase, mirroring the black that followed our every step. I went a little bit farther before noticing what was different about the area we were in.

My eyes widened at the sight of it.

We were at one end of a bridge, spanning over a gaping chasm. The structure didn't even look real; it almost looked like something that came out of a dream, or a nightmare. The stone the bridge was made of was bent, like it was made of metal, and they didn't seem to be held up by much, like they were almost floating above the abyss.

Vaike whistled behind me. "Damn, don't see that every day."

"You don't say? My head fucking hurts looking at it." I replied dryly. "…Hey, think we just found Tharja's soul?"

Vaike barked a laugh. "Damn, don't think it's dark 'nough for that, Alex!"

I chuckled, trying my best to avoid looking at the physics-defying bridge. Slowly, I approached the edge of the maw, the toe of my boot just barely off the edge. Nothing. Just complete and utter darkness. I doubt my torch would get very far before it would be swallowed whole. Tilting my head up just a bit, I realized that there was a second bridge, perpendicular to the one before us. It crossed just beneath it, right in the middle. Two doors sat on either side of it, the first we'd seen since the beginning of our descent.

Backing away from the edge, I chuckled nervously. "Heh, guess you could say anyone who falls down there won't be seeing a light before they… die…" Silence. "Okay yeah, that was pretty bad of me."

"Fascinating… Utterly fascinating!" Miriel hissed excitedly, making her way through the soldiers that surrounded her and her proteges. "The structure of this bridge… Listen closely, can you hear that humming sound?"

Instead of trying to come up with a funny quip, I decided to do what she said. For a few seconds, all I could hear was the ringing in my ears from the intense quiet. However, just at the edge of my senses, I could hear  _something_.

It came in waves, every three seconds if I was counting right. Just this strange  _humming_ , like Miriel said. Took me a minute to realize that it sounded familiar; it sounded like a refrigerator running. It had been so long since I'd heard anything like it that I was completely taken aback. I couldn't tell exactly where it was coming from, though from what Miriel said, it was coming from the bridge. Couldn't say I didn't believe her; the thing looked plenty magical.

"…That shit's creepy." I whispered, rubbing my shoulder. "You say it's coming from the bridge?"

"Yes," Miriel replied, approaching the structure and taking a closer look. "A completely unknown type of magic holds this bridge aloft; I am sure of it! It pains me to know that I have zero indication as to how it works." She turned back, the light from my torch glinting off her glasses ominously. "Would anyone volunteer to cross it? If not, then would any of you be willing to document my findings when I cross this bridge?"

I looked to the men. Most of them seemed to be on the verge of cutting their losses and getting the hell out of there, and I couldn't find it in my heart to blame them; Lord knows I wanted to do the same. The darkness was suffocating, and the unnatural nature of almost everything we'd come across so far would fray anyone's nerves. After a moment of seeing no one step up, I sighed.

"I'll do it, Miriel." I said, crossing my arms. "But I'm only going halfway, you hear me? Then I'll come right back and we're getting the hell outta here. It's been God knows how long and we still haven't come across anything that could've turned Ransom into that  _thing_ , and I don't think anyone wants to go any deeper without some more guys backing us up. Got it?"

Probably could have argued against doing fucking anything and just heading back then and there, but I just wanted out of there as quickly as possible, and if doing this for her would do that, I was all for it. Besides, I doubted the bridge would just up and murder me. Maybe Miriel saw that too.

And hell, if she went herself, she might've never come back.

_Just a simple bridge. Get it over with. It ain't that scary._

"Yes, of course," Miriel replied, excitement alight in her eyes. "I was going to propose that myself. We have already gone as far as I would like. Just this last test, and we shall make haste for the surface and prepare a larger expedition." I didn't like that glint in her eye. "Now, since you volunteered…"

I took a deep breath and turned to Vaike. "If that thing fries me, tell Gaius I still haven't forgiven him for stealing my sweet roll that one time. I'll be sure to haunt him for the rest of his life."

"Uh, yeah!" Vaike replied, giving me a thumbs-up. "I gotcha! Leave it to the Vaike!"

"It ain't a suicide mission, Vaike, so if he pulls a sword, run like hell." I smiled, closed my eyes, and took another deep breath. "Alright, here I go."

Carefully, I stepped towards the thin stone bridge. Felt like I was approaching a giant monster, if my instincts telling me to run like the wind were anything to go by. I powered through it; it was just a bridge, for fuck's sake, and so far we hadn't even encountered anything dangerous. Found plenty of creepy shit, but nothing  _dangerous_. Besides, I wasn't even going the full way. Just had to get this one last thing done so that Miriel's curiosity was sated and we could all go back to camp. Maybe convince everything that we should just fucking burn the place, too.

I expected the bridge to wobble when I first walked on it, like I was walking on a rickety old wooden bridge. Instead, despite its appearance, it was surprisingly solid. Despite the thinness, nothing felt wrong. Taking step after step, I noted that the humming got more pronounced as I got closer to the middle. Once there, I stopped and looked from side to side. Both sides of the bridge below me were brightened slightly by the torch, illuminating the same white stonework from everywhere else.

Keeping my breathing under control, I turned around. "Alright, anything weird happening, Miriel?"

I could just barely make out her pale features. "I would not describe it as 'weird'. Tell me, has the humming increased in volume?"

"Uh, yeah, it has. Same over there?"

"No." Miriel shook her head. "So, that means that the source of the magic is towards the middle, near the other bridge… Perhaps the stone itself has been enchanted? But if so, why would the humming be localized entirely to the middle? The magic we could learn from this single structure alone is astonishing!"

"Yeah, yeah, very magic, much interesting." I replied, feeling antsy. "Can I come back now? I feel vulnerable out here."

"Very well," Miriel acquiesced, beckoning me forward. "We shall regroup at camp and plan our next move."

I let out a sigh of relief, taking a single step forward before my eyes were drawn upwards.

I squinted. "Hey… Guys, what is that?" I pointed at the shape towards the ceiling. It looked like someone in the fetal position, upside down.

The minute everyone's gaze was drawn to the figure, it unfurled itself. It was like a shard of the darkness itself came alive. It fell to the ground, and even with how far away it was, I could feel the stone below me shake. Whatever it was, it stood tall, towering over everything near it. For several moments, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

That all ended with the screams.

One of the men must've snapped, because he screamed as loud as he could and charged the monster for some ungodly reason, the shortsword ready to puncture through the things chest. He didn't get very far. I could hear the sound of ripping and tearing flesh as Sully barked an order to surround the thing.

I shook my head, snapping myself out of whatever trance I was in, and unsheathed my sword.

Didn't get very far before it felt like something pushed me, and I felt myself fall off the edge of the bridge.

It was a strange sensation; a sense of vertigo, and my vision turning sideways were all that I could perceive. I spun in mid-air, landing on the bridge below on my back, the torch my iron hand had been carrying falling into the great abyss below.

I gritted my teeth. The only sound I could hear was my heart pounding. A few moments later, I could hear sounds of fighting, screams and roars, and metal against… metal? It was hard to tell; it felt like my brain was bouncing around in my skull. I could see frantically moving torchlight where the group had been, but I couldn't see them. Trying my best to get my breathing under control, I did the one thing my instincts screamed at me to do: stay silent.

After a while, the noise stopped. Still tryng not to make any sound, I slowly got up, something my back made known it did  _not_ want me to do. I powered through the pain, though; I'd been through worse. The torchlight I could see was stationary, which probably meant it was dropped. It also meant I could see, at least a little bit.

The silence was unnatural. Just moments before everything had been blown to hell, and then it was quiet again like nothing'd ever happened. If it wasn't for the torchlight I could see, I'd be concerned that I'd hallucinated the entire thing. The torchlight did tell me one thing, though: either a good portion of the group got away, leaving a few of their torches behind, or everyone was dead.

_Vaike, Sully, Miriel._

I shook my head, my breathing growing in intensity. I refused to believe it. They weren't dead; they got away, I was sure of it. They just left a few torches behind.

And left me behind too.

Whatever the hell fell from that ceiling must've driven them off, and I sure as hell wasn't going to broadcast where I was. Still had no idea what pushed me over the bridge, either. It was better to keep silent.

_They won't be coming back any time soon._

Grabbing my sword off the ground, I turned to the doorway nearby. They were the first doors we'd come across, and now I was debating whether to open them or not. There was no way in hell I was going to climb to the top bridge; the stone was too smooth on it, and I doubted I'd be able to climb very well with my iron hand.

Step after agonizing step I took, approaching the door. In moments, I was there, with my iron hand pressing up against it. I looked back one more time. Maybe something in me hoped that Sully and the others would come back. A vain hope, maybe, considering I wouldn't be in any hurry to go back after I saw that thing tear someone apart.

It may have not been the best decision, but I decided to go through with it. Taking a deep breath, I braced both my arms against either side of the door and pushed.

Was weightier than I thought, and it made a horrible creaking sound, but I got it open. I pulled a spare torch from the pack I took with me, along with a piece of flint. Wasn't any way in hell I'd be able to see anything in front of me. The area in front of me was pitch-black.

Soon enough, I got another torch going strong. Adjusting the fingers of my iron right hand to grab the newly-lit torch, and a sword in my left, I stared down into the darkness.

No other way out but forward.

* * *

The silence was maddening.

When I was with the others, at least I had them to bounce back and forth with. Like always, it kept my own thoughts from getting the best of me. Obviously, wasn't the case now. The structure of Khadein didn't help, either. The entire place felt more like a dungeon than a city. Maybe I was still in the same tower we descended from, but I had no way of knowing for certain.

In the end, the only things to keep me company were my sword and torch.

Kept an eye out for anything that resembled the fucking monster that fell from the ceiling, but I didn't see anything the entire time I was trying to find a way out. Nothing but the same goddamn white stone as everywhere else. It was monotonous and did not improve my mood.

A sharp intake of breath as I heard something scurry behind me. Quickly, I turned around, waving the torch around and pointing my sword in its direction. Speaking would exactly help me, so I stayed silent.

Nothing. Just the same empty corridor I'd been travelling down for the past fifteen minutes. Maybe I really was hallucinating the entire thing. It'd explain a lot.

Khadein was built like a dungeon, I swore to God. Rooms leading to nowhere, filled with nothing, hallways leading to dead ends, hell, I wasn't even sure if I was going up or down half the time. Castle Ylisse may have been a maze, but at least it had reason to it, like somebody was realistically supposed to know their way around. Khadein was not that. The entire thing was alien.

_Giggling. Behind you._

Calling it giggling would not be describing it properly. It was like somebody flanged their laugh in an audio recorder and played it backwards. I whipped around again, staring into the empty corridor. Nothing. Nothing at all. Just like last time. I was losing my goddamn mind. Shaking my head again, I turned back around.

Even if there was something behind me, I wasn't exactly in a good position to be trying to run after it. Considering what I saw the abomination from before do to a single guy, my chances probably weren't much better.

I didn't know how long I wandered those halls before finding something. It started as a small light, soft and colorful, down the end of a hallway. Squinting, and despite something in me saying that I should turn around and find another way out, I walked forward.

Seconds later, I found myself outside. And not just any place outside, but a balcony overlooking Ylisstol itself.

The sight was as breathtaking as I remembered it. A glorious sunset outlined by faint white clouds. The light painted the buildings in a brilliant orange. Despite everything, it felt right. Like I was finally home.

Of course, then I remembered that I should still be below a frozen hellhole inside the depths of a giant ruin, and the smile that had been growing across my lips fell. It felt right, but it wasn't right. It was wrong. There was no possible way I could be-

"Aww, yeah! Heya Alex!"

My eyes shot wide open, and a shuddering breath escaped me as I turned around. There was no way. It was impossible. Im-fucking-possible.

My lips moved of their own accord. "D-Donny…?"

Just a slight bit shorter than me, with curly purple hair. He wasn't wearing his pot. But it was still him, in the flesh. The boy who died in my arms back during the war, standing in front of me like nothing had happened. Not even a small scar, except for the cross-shaped one on his cheek that was always there. He wore nice clothes, but he didn't exactly look comfortable in them.

"Ya alright there, Alex? Ya done look like you've seen a ghost!" Donnel said, bounding up to me. "Ma always said there ain't no ghosts, but… er, I don't wanna say nothin' bad 'bout ma, but I don't think I believe her. Coulda sworn I saws a ghost in my room once. Didn't say nothin', though. Ma'd get upset."

For seconds I was paralyzed as Donnel spoke to me. My mind blue-screened, uncomprehending of the sight in front of me.

"Donny… Donnel, is that really you?" I asked shakily, my lips thinning.

"Huh? 'Course I am! Ain't like I gone anywhere." Donnel looked at me strangely. "May've gotten through the war, but still haven't gotten 'nough glory, yeah? If I go home now won't be nothin' but a soldier! But anyway, thinks we gotta go back inside now. His Lordships wedding ain't done yet."

I lifted my right hand, trying to put a hand on his soldier to confirm he was really right in front of me, but I stopped once I caught a glimpse of iron. Looking down, I noticed my metal hand, faintly reflecting the light, as well as the torch it held.

… _And it really thought I'd fall for this?_

"…No," I growled, my grip on my sword tightening. "No, this isn't real."

"Huh? Don't right know what you're talkin' 'bout-!"

"I don't know what the fuck's going on here," I nearly shouted. "But please God, don't make me regret this!"

"Alex, what're you-!"

I snarled as I raised my sword and slashed down, right through the thing pretending to be Donnel. The sword cut through him easily, but no blood came forth. It was like cutting through hot wax, and when I'd cleaved all the way through him, both his upper body and lower body stayed in place, like they weren't affected by gravity.

Slowly, whatever it was that wore Donnel's face looked down, inspecting the damage, before looking back at me.

It smiled. The corners of its lips twisted upwards far past what a human face would allow. If it opened its mouth, it looked like its head would split open.

That same giggling I'd heard earlier reverberated through my skull as the world around me melted, along with the abomination in front of me. Once it was all gone, and all I could see was the same white stone of Khadein, I nearly collapsed.

My breathing came out in ragged gasps, heart pounding in my chest with no reprieve. I was horrified at what I'd just done, but I was glad I was right. I didn't kill Donnel, I told myself, I didn't kill Donnel. I'd attacked whatever had been wearing his skin.

A small flame burned in my chest. How dare it. How fucking  _dare_  it. Spitting on Donnel's memory.

I stood straight up, staring behind me. "Whoever just made me do that, just know that when I find you, no healing magic or bullshit powers will be able to repair what I do to you."

_No other way out but forward._

* * *

I'd come to the conclusion that Khadein was endless. Nothing but white stonework and empty rooms as far as I could see. I didn't know if that thing from earlier was still fucking with me. Despite the anger that bloomed in my chest, I still tried to find a way out. Despite my brave words, I knew that facing it directly would probably end with my death. Considering it could apparently fuck with my head so bad, I didn't want to take chances.

A part of me wondered at the fact that I could get so angry and vicious so quickly. Another part didn't care.

Every so often I'd hear scurrying or footsteps, punctuated by those same damn laughs and giggles from before. I hated that sound. I hated it with all of my being. Every time I heard it I had to stop myself from screaming and running to where it came from.

"Fuck this, fuck me, fuck you…" I murmured to myself. "Fucking stupid goddamn ruin who the fuck would even…!"

I walked in front of large archway, completely ordinary and just like several others I'd passed. Except this one blew a gust of cold air.

My torch went out, and I was swallowed by the clawing darkness.

" _Fuck!_ " I shouted, falling to my knees and grabbing at my pack. "No no no no no! There's something out there right now and it's fucking everywhere  _burn damn you burn!_  Get the fuck away from me!"

With every strike at the stone sparks flickered, illuminating the surroundings for a moment. I swore I saw something, lurking nearby, swimming through the black like a serpent. Whatever it was, it had scales, oily scales like a fish. This spurred me on, striking the flint and stone together harder until finally, my torch reignited.

I was not where I used to be.

A battlefield stretched from horizon to horizon, bathed under a diseased red sun. There were bodies, so many bodies, laying on the ground, festering in the heat. I could hear screams in the distance. Men praying, if I was hearing correctly.

It was like all my nightmares were congealed and brought to life.

There was no way in hell I was going to be able to react calmly to that. I shouted, slamming my left hand into the ground. The pain was horrible, and yet despite that I forced myself up. I walked through the wasteland, staring at the blood and gore.

It was like looking at my reflection.

I only stopped moving when I saw a single body among a pile. Silver Pegasus Knight armor sullied with rust and blood, and scarlet hair matted and unkempt.

_It's a dream. It's a dream. This isn't real. It's fucking with you again. Wake up. WAKE UP._

" _Fuck you!_ " I screamed so loud it felt like I'd wake the dead. "This isn't real! You're doing it again, I know you are! Whoever the fuck you are, I swear to God, I'll kill you! I'll tear you apart with my _bare hands_!"

She moved. Stiff and rigid, she stood up, her legs acting more like stilts than limbs. Her face was twisted into a horrible grimace, blood trailing from her lips. One pervading thoughts echoed through my mind as I readied my blade.

_This is what failure looks like._

My breaths came in gasps. My teeth were clenched so hard it felt like they'd start cracking under the pressure. Readying myself one last time, I closed my eyes, ignoring the tears I felt streaming down my face.

I shouted, charging forward with my eyes still closed.

My sword clanked against stone, and when I opened my eyes, I saw that I'd struck the white stone of Khadein again.

For a couple seconds, I just stood there. Dumbfounded. It wasn't real; it was just a vision, I kept telling myself. Just a vision. A hallucination. There was something around that was causing that. Something evil. And, by God, if I got my hands on it, I didn't care how strong it was, I'd do everything in my power to make it  _hurt_. I would make it  _suffer_.

I blinked, before whimpering and slumping against the white stone wall. Those thoughts almost didn't feel like my own. But I knew they were. They were just locked away. Nearly forgotten. But I knew they would never go away.

It was like taking a peek into my own mind. A war-torn battlefield. A failure. It was what would happen if we didn't win. Everyone, everything, dead and bleeding.

I did not like what I saw.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and through the tears I turned to my right to see something staring back at me. A serpentine body, and black eyes reflecting the light back to me. Its face, its fucking face, it was grinning at me. A mouth filled with too many teeth that glimmered like polished ivory.

In the blink of an eye, it vanished.

I shook my head, closing my eyes hard. I knew I had to keep going. There was no other way. If I stayed where I was that thing would be upon me. I didn't know why it was doing what it was. Making me easy prey? Because it was fun? Maybe it was for a reason I couldn't even comprehend. All I knew is that I wanted to get the fuck out of there. Get out of there and away from Khadein. Out of the cold, out of the dark.

My knees creaked as I forced myself up. The torch in my iron hand was the only thing keeping me from just collapsing and letting it end.

**No other way out but forward.**

* * *

My legs felt like molten lead had been poured into them, and there was still no end in sight. The hope of escape was slipping through my fingers like sand. The same, stark-white stone hallways and rooms trailed on for miles, it felt like.

I didn't even know how long I'd been wandering for. Time was funny like that; I could've been wandering for days, but it'd feel like hours. Or I could be wandering for hours, and it'd feel like days. With no way to tell time in that dark cesspit, it had little meaning. What mattered to me was the burning in my legs, the oppressive feelings, and the darkness that swelled around me like a tidal wave.

_Light._

I knew better than to trust it. There was no way in hell it would be that easy. Not after everything the fucking monster had put me through. Even then, my heart beat faster. My legs moved faster. At that moment, I'd do anything –  _anything_  – just to get out of there. Out of the darkness and away from the monster that shadowed my every step.

It was a faint light, like the sun was setting. Light draped every visible surface, bathing the world in an orange hue. A lot like what I'd seen before, only there was one major difference that grew more apparent the longer I stared ahead of me.

The bus' door closed, and for the first time in over a year, I heard an engine rev up. The red and white bus swerved out of the turn lane and onto the main road and sped away.

Blankly, I regarded the road in front of me, so familiar yet so alien. Black asphalt traced with white lines. They were meaningless to me, or at least they should've been. But I remembered. Looking farther ahead, I saw the houses of the development I used to live in.

_It's not real it's not real it's not real it's not real it's not real_

"…No…" I croaked out. "This… This isn't real. Whatever the fuck you are, there's no way you could… No fucking way!"

I swung my sword at the curb. It wasn't a person, but the visions had been dispelled every time I'd slashed something. My sword crashed against the concrete, chipping a few pieces off it, but I was still there.

My eyes widened, and I felt my breath leave me. "N-No. No, this is a fucking vision. Another one. There's no way this is real. This isn't real, fuck you!"

I swung again, chipping off more of the concrete. I couldn't tell what shape my sword was in, but I didn't care. Had to prove to myself that it wasn't real, that none of it was real. Yet no matter how many times I crashed my blade against the curb, nothing happened. The world, my old world, was just the same as it had been just a second before.

But was it a second? It felt like it'd been years.

"No…" I rasped out, my gravelly voice failing me as I fell to the ground, my sword clattering to the ground. "There's… There's no way…" I could barely come up with the will to utter a strangled whisper.

_Chrom, Robin, Vaike, Sully, Gaius, Frederick, Lissa, Stahl…_

_Cordelia._

That last one hurt the most. The memory of a beautiful silhouette flashed through my mind, outlined by the sky and sun.

Was it all a dream? It wasn't possible; I still had my iron hand and my sword, with all my armor, and yet, I was back. Back on that same bus stop that I'd stepped off of all those months ago. I'd lost it all, again. Everything. Everyone. All gone. Off into the void. All of the crap I'd been through, completely and utterly pointless.

Instead of rage, all I felt was grief. Sniffling, I sat against the curb, watching cars go by. The sound was so surreal, so wrong to my ears.

It was funny; a few short months before I wanted nothing more than to be back. When I actually went back, it felt wrong. Everything felt wrong.

_It's screwing with you. This isn't real, boy scout._

It started as a small feeling, at first. With the warm breeze of early May caressing my form, I barely felt it. It grew, though, and it grew fast. A burning in my chest. Just like before. I didn't want to use it; it showed a part of myself I didn't like. Despite that, I kept it going, gave it fuel, and soon enough, it burst.

I looked up, tears streaming from my eyes again. Baring my teeth in a grimace, I slammed my left hand into the ground.

"Fuck you, whatever you are. Fuck you in your scaly asshole. This isn't real; it doesn't make any fucking sense!" I stood up, screaming to the sky, the old rage building in my chest again. I hated it, but I needed it. There wasn't any other way I was getting through it. "You think you're gonna fucking break me, is that it? Do whatever mojo you got to try and make me just break the fuck down, huh? Am I stuck here until my mind snaps and I go ballistic? Well I'll fucking tell you a little something right now: that ain't gonna fucking work! There ain't a thing in this world or the nest that'll get me to break! Not while I still got you on my shit list!"

I picked up my sword, noticing a few nicks in the blade. Turning around, staring off into the distance, I readied myself.

For a couple seconds, nothing happened. The wind still went by, several cars drove pass me, the sun still hung low in the sky. For a brief second, I faltered. What if it was real? If I was back home?

If the illusion had been kept up for just a few seconds longer, I would've broken, despite my words.

The world melted. Like wax, or running paint, it dripped and fell to the floor. It puddled and vanished as if it was never there. Once more, I was within the white corridors of Khadein. With one major difference: the stone started shaking.

It was barely noticeable at first. I was a bit busy getting my emotions under control to really pay it any mind until it got worse. Soon, it felt like the entire ruin was coming alive, like it was just as angry as me. A horrible, low rumbling like a monster growling through bared teeth echoed through the halls. Safe to say, I couldn't get a handle on my raging emotions, not when the entire world feeling like it was falling apart around me.

Far down one end of the hallway, I heard something smashing through the stonework. It was so fast I barely had enough time to try and brace myself.

Whatever it was, it slammed into my chest, so strong that I went skidding across the floor and I heard the sound of my chestplate denting, my armor scraping against the stone. My breath left me, and I struggled to get any amount of stale air into my lungs. I coughed and sputtered, feeling a thin trail of warmth drip from the corner of my mouth. The taste of iron stained my tongue.

Before I could even react, the thing grabbed me by my bent chestplate, lifting me up as if I weighed nothing at all. Struggling feebly, I tried to slash at it with my sword, only to feel it bounce off as if I was trying to cut into it with a butter knife, and it clattered to the ground. It slammed me against the wall, the sound of metal against stone once more ringing in my ears. It did it again, as if in anger, before stopping.

Luckily, my torch was still in my iron hand, and I could finally see the thing that'd been haunting my every step.

Of course, once I did, I wished that I didn't.

An angular, bright white smile was the first thing that greeted me; a mouth filled with way too many teeth, all fighting for space in its maw. A pair of eyes, so black it seemed to absorb the light cast upon it, stared at me with curiosity, like I was an interesting lab specimen. A lot like Miriel, back when we figured out I had zero magic in my blood. Oily black scales like a fish actively reflected the light, covering all that I could see of the abomination. Its face was easily the worst. Looked like a cross between a dog and a dragon, with that dame snout that the body of Ransom had. From a certain angle, the monster looked like it was smiling. From another, it seemed to be grimacing or snarling.

I looked away, trying my best not to wretch in disgust. It didn't smell any better than it looked.

" **Adult male, strong build** ," A voice, faintly female sounding, came from it. How the hell did it even talk without moving its mouth? " **Prime candidate for transmogrification. Lack of right hand carries interesting potential. Enchantment, possibility. Yet, it was not broken in the process of pacification. Mentality perhaps too strong? Or already broken?** "

I coughed again, tasting iron at the back of my throat. What was it even talking about? Transmogrification? Didn't know what that was, but it didn't sound very appealing. Idly, I wondered at how strange it was to be lifted up like I was, although the straps on my chestplate were probably going to snap at any moment.

"Fuck… you…" I growled out feebly.

The creature snarled back. It was surreal; the way it sounded and the way it acted were completely different. It's grip on my chestplate shook, jostling me painfully. " **Colloquialism. Used as insult. Often during the process of pacification. Wonders if others of its ilk share its diction. No matter. Transmogrification will erase problematic personality. Good soldier.** "

_What in the actual fuck._

I coughed again. Didn't know how much longer I'd last. "W-What the hell are you? I just wanna fucking…! Gah, fuck you…!"

" **It wonders what the entity is.** " It rumbled, its head tilting to the side. Whether out of further curiosity or amusement I'd never be able to tell. " **Elderly male before it asked similar query.** " Its head shook, its jaws shutting and closing several times. A weird chittering sound filled the air. " **It will know in time. The entity is known as the Pontifex. Useless information. It will no longer be capable of independent thought, and thus will not ask pointless queries.** "

I clenched my teeth, attempting to get air into my lungs. I looked down, my torch still in my iron hand. The thing, the  _Pontifex_ , still appeared to be analyzing me. I tilted my head back up, looking at its eye.

_It's worth a try, boy scout._

The Pontifex giggled, the same sound I'd heard when I wandered the halls. " **Will bring it to Transmogrification Chambers. Process will take approximately thirty minutes, with a margin of error-** "

I raised my right hand and jammed my torch into its right eye. A squelch, like somebody stepping onto an overripe tomato, filled my ears. Then, sizzling, as I felt liquid flow onto my arm.

And then it began  _screaming._

I was dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes, my knees instantly buckling once I reached the stone floor. The squelching, sizzling, and screaming were the only things that filled my ears. Faintly, I could also hear it stomping around, smashing the wall where I used to be.

I didn't know how much energy I had left, or if I'd even get very far if I did, but I got to my feet and began running anyway. I'd hurt it, and judging from the screaming, I'd hurt it  _bad_. Even then, it'd still kill me if I stayed behind, and despite the white-hot anger in my chest, I wasn't stupid enough to try and attack it, especially when my sword did fuck all to it.

Another loud scream, this one sounding more like the roar of an angry god, rang through the halls. Once more, the very stone of Khadein came alive, shaking and vibrating as if the entire ruin was trying to upend itself. A low moaning came from deep within the ruin, spurring me on. To keep running, to finally get out of that god-forsaken ruin.

_I think I just spoke with the thing that turned Ransom into a monster._

Didn't really have long to ponder that thought before I nearly ran straight into a giant hole into the abyss. My feet skidded along the ground, and I fell onto my ass just a foot away from the edge. Taking a few seconds to catch my breath, it caught in my throat when my gaze focused on what was  _in_ that hole.

There was a very faint light, coming from inside the giant hole, making it possible to even see them. They lined the side of it, hanging onto the walls with hook-like hands. What little else I could see made my tired heart jump into my throat. It looked like there were  _thousands_ of them, just hanging around in that chasm.

_They look like that thing that fell from the ceiling. From before._

Khadein was still vibrating. Faintly. The low moaning became a distant noise that I could only hear if I stayed completely still. I had to get the hell out of there. I'd pissed off the apparent head honcho of Khadein and I doubted if it got its hands on me again it'd be gentle.

Looking around wearily, I saw a side passage, and I quietly walked towards it.

* * *

I collapsed a little while after I found that silo filled with monsters.

A pain had been building in my chest for a while, and if my legs felt like they were filled with lead before, they felt like concrete then. I could barely find the strength to move before I fell to the god-forsaken ground. I was able to crawl to the wall and sit against it. Tentatively, I began removing my chestplate. Hissing a bit as I got it off, I lifted my tunic to see my chest.

A veritable sea of black and blue greeted me. The scar from the war looked like a jagged crack in my body.

I quickly let my tunic down, laying my head against the wall, not even bothering to put on my chestplate again. It was basically busted beyond re At that point, I just wanted it to end.

Hearing voices, I slowly turned to my left to see a faint light down the corridor.

"N-No…" I mumbled, shaking my head. "No, please God, no. I've had enough. Stop playing these goddamn games! Just fucking kill me…!"

Neither the light nor the voices went away. Holding back tears of frustration and anger, I gently lifted myself off the ground. I walked down the corridor towards the light, ready to face whatever the abomination had in-store for me.

My eyes widened to the size of dinnerplates once I saw people. A woman with short red hair in the front, and several others behind her. I went faster, nearly slamming into her once they were close enough.

"Well I'll be damned!" Sully exclaimed, lowering her torch a little and blinking, a smirk on her face. "Alex! I knew ya wouldn't-!"

"H-Hang on…!" I coughed, walking – well, more like limping – towards her. She raised a brow before my fist met her face. Had to make sure it was actually her and not another illusion, after all. She let out a low growl, her head instantly snapping back to glare at me. "Oh…! Oh thank God it's actually-!"

My world exploded in pain as a kick to my gut was her response. "The hell's gotten into ya!? Damned place made ya loony or somethin'!?"

I coughed a little more, before staring her in the eye. Feeling tears fall down my face unimpeded, I wrapped my arms around her in a hug.

"W-What the hell're ya-?"

"T-Thank you…!" I whispered, trying and failing to get my emotions under control. "Thank f-fuck you're actually here! I-I thought I was… I thought I was finally starting to lose it…!"

After that, the only thing I could say was gibberish. Awkwardly, I felt a hand start patting me on the back, and I cried harder. Surprised I still had enough water in me to even cry.

"Er… there, there? Gods, how do ya do that thing…? Vaike, what the hell are ya still doing back there? Get over here and help me out!" Sully barked.

"Was wonderin' what the hold-up was." I could hear Vaike coming up next to me, but I didn't really pay him any mind. "Guess he didn't fall into that chasm, but… er, he looks a little roughed up."

"Yer the one who wanted us to come back for him; don't act like yer surprised!" Sully accused. "Now get over here, and let's get the hell outta here. Place's still shakin' up somethin' fierce."

"Aye, I hear ya. Alright, c'mon, bud! Up 'n at 'em!" Vaike took one of my arms and put it over his shoulder, working with Sully to help me get moving. "…Uh, which way we come in again?"

"Sir, that way!" One of the soldiers said, pointing in a direction I didn't bother looking. He looked familiar, though. Was it Derek?

Now that I had a better handle on myself, I did notice that there were fewer men there than I remembered.

Slowly, but surely, I was dragged out of Khadein.

* * *

When I could finally feel cold, fresh air on my face again, I let out a sigh of relief.

_You made it._

"Looks like it's night," Sully said.

"Really, what coulda told ya that?" Vaike replied.

"If we weren't helping his heavy ass, I'd-!"

"Er…" My voice came out in a low rumble. "Guys, is that smoke…?"

In the distance, in the direction of our camp, if I remembered correctly, I could see a trail of black smoke billowing into the cloudy and dark sky. The others took notice, and the murmurings of the men hung in the air.

"Ah, hell, what's gone wrong now?" Sully groaned. "Alright, you lot get going, we'll be right behind ya!"

"Y-Yes ma'am!" One of the soldiers said, and they marched in front of us, their boots hitting the icy permafrost ground.

Once we got moving, I realized something. "G-Guys, where's Miriel?"

"In the camp," Sully replied. "Came back up after that thing attacked us. Long story, let's just focus on gettin' ya some healing staves and Vulenaries, yeah?"

I conceded her point with a small tilt of my head.

"Gods above!" I heard one of the men shriek in front of us. "T-Those things! They're everywhere!"

… _No, no it couldn't possibly…!_

I saw it once Vaike and Sully pushed their way through the soldiers. The camp was in shambles, with a good portion of it burning. All around it, people were fighting with  _abominations_ ; by the looks of it, the same ones I saw in that hole back in the depths. Scaly, with bodies like a cross between a dragon and a human. Screams and roars echoed through the nighttime air, tearing into the sky.

… _This is hell…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight, uploaded this Chapter a week early. Mostly because I'm working now and next Saturday I gotta punch-in. So here we are! The schedule will probably become a little more flexible; if the next chapter doesn't come out next Saturday, it will come out the week after. Because I'm a crowd-pleaser, I guess.
> 
> Let me know what you thought of this Chapter in the reviews, or shout at me directly on our Discord. Whatever works.
> 
> Anyway, got some recommendations for you. First one up is Rigged from the Start by TheBobcat18. An SI into Awakening's bad future. Just got off the ground but I think it's really interesting so far! Another is one I've recommended before and actually should be updating soon after this Chapter called Heavy is the Head by DestructionDragon360. Seriously. Read it. It's an AU with Frederick as the ruling monarch with Chrom and Lissa as his retainers. Plz. It's gud.
> 
> Here's our Discord server: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Next chapter should come out next week. See you all then!


	26. The Outsider

Considering my injuries, there was no way in hell I was going to be able to participate in the battle going on in front of me. However, from the vantage point given by my position as I was tended to by two soldiers, I could see most of our ruined camp.

It was not a pretty sight.

"B-By the Gods…!" The soldier to my right murmured. "W-Where did they come from?"

"Same place we did, man," I replied. "Underground. I saw a shit load of 'em down there."

"Sir?" The soldier to my left said, confusion etched in his features.

"You'll hear about it soon enough." I waved off, getting a handle on my mouth. It probably wouldn't have been a good idea to worry them. Maybe I was just antsy, despite my injuries and fatigue.

Truth is, I wanted to be down there fighting with them. My friends were fighting for their lives down in the camp, and what was I doing? Laying on my frozen ass with two soldiers to keep me company. I didn't blame them for leaving me behind; hell, I would've done it if any of them had been in my position, but the frustration and helplessness was there all the same.

The abomination dragon things crawled around the ruins of our camp like ants. Bodies of men and monsters alike dotted the ground. A single roar rang across the landscape, one I was all to familiar with, and a second later fluorescent flames flowed across the frozen ground, engulfing several of the dragon-things as it went along. The ground became a half-thawed slurry, and I saw someone trip from it, making it easier for one of the monsters to tear into his back.

I could see Nowi in her dragon form. I'd forgotten how awe-inspiring it was. Unlike the abominations, which looked like a human and dragon mashed together, she was a pure dragon. As far as I knew, at least. The usual disgust and revulsion I felt for a lot of the more fantastical creatures was gone, replaced by admiration. For dragons, at least.

_This is getting weird, boy scout._

My mind had become strangely clear since Sully and Vaike charged into camp, to be sure. I couldn't really explain it, but everything just seemed so distant; so far away, like I was watching through a television screen.

A shiver went up my spine. I, of all people, should know just how dangerous that was. Couldn't afford to be overly clinical, especially given the situation.

Nowi roared again as a wave of wind magic swept an abomination away from her. Ricken, probably. Little man was all about that wind magic from what I could remember. I recalled how he sent several men to their death falling from a cliff back when the war with Plegia first started.

I shook my head.. I hated it, how I was thinking. But I couldn't help it.

In the end, the fighting lasted for another ten minutes. Ten minutes of me doing nothing but sitting on my ass, doing nothing but staring as everyone fought. If there was one thing I hated more than my fucking head at that moment, it was that I could do nothing.

When the fighting was over, the two soldiers with me helped me up and took me to the camp. A calm, light snowfall arrived, in complete defiance of the chaos from before.

I took a deep breath, my breath misting in front of me. Shouldn't have been surprised that everything had gone to hell.

_…I hate the cold._

* * *

I downed the bitter Vulenary like my life depended on it. It was my fourth one, and I was feeling a bit better, although not by much.

"He's drank, what, four already? The hell happened in there?" Sully asked pointedly, crossing her arms. "Don't care what it is; can't be any worse than what's gone on here. Most of our supplies are destroyed, little shelter, and we got a shit ton of goddamn monsters out there ready to come outta the ground and eat our asses."

I furrowed my brows. Somehow, the news didn't affect me as much as I thought. Or as much I'd like. "Sully, if you keep hyping yourself up like that, you'll have an aneurysm."

"Oh, and why can't I!?" She growled, whirling on me. "We got to this hellhole with fifty men.  _Fifty_. Now all's we got is thirty-five. We lost fifteen men in a single day. How in the hell are you even keepin' yourself from doin' the same thing I am?"

There was only a handful of tents in the camp that remained intact. We were in one of them, trying to decide our next move. What Sully was saying was completely accurate; our camp was in absolute shambles, with a good portion of our food missing, and other supplies being drained by the wounded. Of our original fifty, only thirty-five remained.

_Murphy's Law is in full effect._

"And she said  _Teach_ was on the rag…" Vaike mumbled, sitting down on a half-broken crate, his usual attitude gone.

"Oh, Gods, if we weren't already 'bout to run out of healin' shit-!"

"This conversation serves no purpose," Miriel said curtly. "We must plan our next course of action. I am most curious about what Alexander has gone through, however. I do not believe we will be able to make an educated decision until he tells of his experiences."

Sully looked like she was about to argue; her mouth opened and closed several times before she eventually nodded. "…Fine. Whatever you say, big hat. Yer the one who got him in that mess in the first place, might as well figure out what that got him into, yeah?"

I could see Miriel grip her robe tightly, although her face remained as stoic as ever. "Quite," was her only response.

I sighed. "You guys… I know things are looking bleak right now, but I don't think taking potshots at each other is really gonna solve anything. I don't mind telling you what I saw down there, but it ain't pretty."

That was putting it mildly, but at that moment I didn't care.

I leaned back, trying to get myself as comfortable as possible. "There's something down there. Something evil. Fucker stalked me through the entire ruin. Showed me some pretty awful shit; a battlefield filled with corpses and weapons, my homeland… Donny. All kinds of crap. When I got fed up with its bullshit, it came right at me. Gave me a nasty bruise. What I saw looked a lot like all those monsters swarming the camp earlier, just a giant mixture of a human and a dragon, and it spoke to me. Called itself the 'Pontifex'. Think it's what turned Ransom into a monster; said I'd make a 'good soldier' and that I'd be transmogrified or some shit. Jabbed a torch into its eye and got away, and saw a giant silo filled with a shit ton of those monsters, all just hanging around like they didn't have a care in the world." I looked down. "That's when you and Vaike found me. I thought you guys were just another illusion at first. Er, sorry about that by the way, Sully."

"Illusions…" Miriel echoed, brows furrowing. "It tried to break your will?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Something, something, process of pacification or some bullshit. Don't know why it needed something like that, 'cause it said that being turned into one of those things would erase my personality." I chuckled humorlessly.

I didn't mind talking. It felt like I was explaining something that happened to someone else instead of what I'd actually gone through.

"Gods, what hell's gotten into him?" Sully asked loudly. "You sound like yer givin' Robin a report."

"The Pontifex…" Miriel murmured, her eyes showing that same old twinkle of curiosity. "Of course, the ruler of Khadein. The last ruler of Khadein in the records was the Dark Pontifex, Gharnef. If what you say is true, then…" Miriel became quiet.

"All I heard him say is 'we need to get the hell outta here for reinforcements'," Sully said, crossing her arms. "Didn't need him to tell me there were a shit ton of monsters down there, and now he tells us about this goddamn 'Pontifex'. Ain't no way in hell we're gonna beat something that can just… make ya see shit like that. And turn ya into one of 'em"

"Scared of a challenge, Sully?" I replied airily. "I hurt it; we can kill it."

"Don't think that's what's worryin' her, Alex," Vaike said suddenly. "It's those monsters. Teach had to hit 'em hard just to make a dent in 'em. Ain't even sure how we were able to drive them off. There's only thirty-five of us, yeah? We don't stand a snowball's chance in the desert."

I shrugged. "What more do we have to lose, guys? The next Griffin Rider doesn't come for another fuckin' week, and even then do you really think he'd be able to get help or, God forbid, supplies before we run out?"

"Are you suggestin'…?" Sully began.

I nodded. "Yeah, I say we go back down into that goddamned hellhole and burn this Pontifex fucker. Even if we don't survive, we'd probably be doing everyone a favor."

"Naga, listen to this dastard!" Sully exploded, waving a hand at me incredulously. " _There's only thirty-five of us_ , Alex, not a goddamned army! I ain't gonna run away from a fight, but this ain't one we can win on our own!"

I shook my head, leaning onto my left hand. "So I guess we just go out into those mountains and freeze to death, huh? Perfect plan, Sully. Why didn't I think of it? At least if we go down there, we'd be able to fight the monsters. Can't exactly fight the cold, can we?"

"Alright then, smartass, keep talking like that and we can take this outside," Sully said coldly. "So that's just it, then? Either go back down into those ruins or freeze to death in the mountains? Those men out there, they're dependin' on our decision. And we can't just wait it out 'cause those monsters'll come outta the ground at any moment and finish us off."

I blinked. "…Fuck, I didn't even think about that." I looked up to the beige canvas above us. "We're really fucked, aren't we?"

Sully was fuming like a bull. She grabbed the edge of the table so hard I swore I heard cracks. "Guess we're all just gonna die out here. I knew this entire thing was a trap. Gods, did I know! Thought I was just my gut actin' up but nope. Monsters underground and nothin' but freezin' shit everywhere else. Gods damn it all to  _hell_!"

She grabbed the edge of the table like she was about to flip it before releasing her grip and slumping on one of the chairs. Her head slumped to one side, defeated.

For once, I felt a pang of fear. The first since I left the ruins.

_Sully shouldn't be like that._

"I believe that we must return to the ruins," Miriel spoke up, causing my head to perk up. "But not without insurance, as it were. I believe the manakete – Nowi was her name, correct? – could fly over the mountains and inform Ylisse and Ferox of our situation. While that is occurring, we enter the ruins once more and attempt to destroy this 'Pontifex." Miriel began pacing. "Indeed, that should solve many of our issues; I am making an assumption, an educated guess on the nature of this entity. I believe that it controls the abominations underground, or is in some way connected to them in an integral manner. The shaking of the ruins, the ambush, and your injury of the Pontifex, all of it is connected."

Her words washed over me; I could make sense of them, but they were overwhelming. My state of mind didn't help with that. At least I could understand what she was getting at.

"So." I began, leaning forward. "You think that, if we kill the Pontifex, the rest of the monsters will fall, giving us enough time for Nowi to get to civilization and get us help?"

"That is the gist of it, yes." Miriel replied, adjusting her glasses. "It is a risky plan, one that could result in all of our deaths. But as you so eloquently put it 'what more have we to lose'?"

"I don't think those were my  _exact_ words…" I mumbled. "But, well, yeah. Personally, I was… No, nevermind." I shook my head. "You're right."

I was forward-thinking. Maybe a little too much. If we got reinforcements, it could interfere with Robin's army. And we needed that for Valm. Or, God forbid, if those monsters got out and invaded, that would be even worse. Grima would probably crush both of us if he were to get his way, and he would allow it all to go down if it weakened Ylisse, even if there was Valm to still worry about. Not to mention it could make more of them.

A fucking headache is what it would be. A mess, for everyone involved. There was no way we could let the Pontifex and its army out.

I knew the plan would either work or we'd die trying.

That sparked a memory, a warm hand grasping my own tenderly. A suddenly, I didn't care if I might've died, as long as she could live.

"Don't think the men'll like that all too well," Vaike said suddenly, running a hand through his spiky blond hair. "They just got done fightin' monsters that just shirk off their swords, yeah? Sure, the axes got through, but it ain't like that'll get their hopes up."

"Vaike, it isn't like you to be a fuckin' downer like this," I replied. "It's not like we have a lotta choice, do we? Either go down there with a  _chance_ of stopping this shit before it turns into a crisis, or we run and definitely freeze to death in the mountains."

"To hell with it all!" Sully exclaimed, standing up and marching to the tent flap. "It ain't like the news is gonna get any better; might as well give it to 'em now. Ya'll just gonna stand there starin' at me or are we gonna go break the news to 'em?"

"…See, now that's what I expect outta you, Sully." I said, smirking a little as I stood up myself. My legs protested by sending a jolt of pain up my spine, but I'd been through worse. "Might as well get it over with, I guess."

I followed Vaike, Sully and Miriel from the rear, my legs still holding me back a little. The Vulenaries could only do so much, it seemed, if the pain shooting through my legs was anything to go by. Despite that, I kept up as best as I could.

I'd almost forgotten how fucked our camp was. Most of the fires had been put out – wasn't until the battle was over that I was told  _Nowi'd_ set most of them. – and the bodies were being cordoned and dealt with. One pile for our own, and another for the abominations. Or at least, the ones that weren't turned to ash by Nowi. I made a mental note to talk to her and Ricken before we sent them off.

The men remaining noticed us leaving our tent and gathered around us. We found a nice icy hill to shout from. With small snowflakes falling to the ground, and the misty breath of our soldiers, the scene was like something out of a movie.

Shook my head again, rubbing my forehead. That was a stupid way of putting it. I'd almost forgotten what a movie was, let alone what kinds of scenes could be in any of them.

"Alright, you lot, listen up," Sully began, her voice booming over the group. "Ain't no other nice way to put it: we're up shit's creek without a paddle. We don't gotta lotta food left, and our tents are shredded. But that ain't all of it. Just below us is a goddamn monster that puts the ones that swarmed our sorry asses look like plucked chickens. Can turn a man into a monster, just like them. And you know what we gotta do? We gotta go down there and beat its scaly ass into the ground. Either that or we try 'n leave through the mountains, which'd just freeze us to death. Anyone got any questions?"

The silence made my ears ring.

Soon enough, however, murmurs began. Those murmurs turned from quiet and conspiratorial into loud and angry within a few seconds, and not long after we almost had a full-on riot on our hands.

"After everything we've seen, we're just going to go back in!?" One soldier shouted.

Another man, this one a Feroxi based on his choice of dress, stepped up. "I ain't stayin' round here with all those Naga damned monsters down there! My axe could barely make a scratch on their hides!"

Sully turned to us, giving me a look. "Told ya they wouldn't like it. Think they'll mutiny? Bets on them mutinying. Ain't like they got much to lose out here."

My eye twitched. "You didn't give them much of a reason, did you? Just told them we're fucked."

"We're not?" Sully raised a brow.

"Oh, fuck off," I replied angrily, something burning in my chest again. I felt the need to do something, anything. "Alright, you know what? Let me have a crack at it. See if I can't get them to calm down."

Sully made a show of gesturing to where she once stood, as the men grew louder. Frowning, ignoring the agony my legs were in, I marched up to the plate.

_This is either gonna go really well or really bad._

" _All of you, shut up!_ " I shouted at the top of my lungs, my gravelly voice rolling over the group.

Somehow, it worked; they stopped speaking, although they did look at me like I'd murdered a puppy right in front of them.

"All of you, I know that shit's looking bleak right now. Lord knows it is. Our camp's fucking destroyed, and we got a whole shit load of abominations just below our feet waiting to eat us, or have their master turn us into one of them. But you know what? I'm still going to go down there. Do you wanna know why?" I stood up straight. Always saw leaders do that. "Because I know what'll happen if we just leave this problem right now. Those fuckers are gonna pop outta this hellhole and try to invade our home and murder our families. Is that what you want? Ylissean's, we're descended from  _Marth_ and his companions. Did Marth ever think twice about taking on Medeus with nothing but Falchion and the Fire Emblem? Feroxi, you fought a fucking war with us, I've seen you bastards charge straight into the Plegian lines during the last war and tear them limb from limb. Don't tell me you're afraid of some lopsided half-dragon monsters, huh?"

I took a deep breath, keeping an eye on the men. They were completely silent.

"We're going to send someone out. Think you've seen that little girl running around? Yeah, you also know she's a terrifying dragon. We're gonna send her over those mountains and tell somebody about what's going on here." An admittedly cute roar from the crowd, causing a few of the men to yelp. "Yeah, that's her. While she's doing that, we're gonna descend into that hellhole, stomp on this thing's neck, and then go home laughing and cheering, you hear me? Because I promise you, when we get back, they'll sing about us. The heroes who stopped an invasion of monsters before it could even begin!"

A few 'hurrahs,' mostly from the Feroxi, although many of the Ylissean Soldiers were looking at me differently than before.

At that point, I was running on fumes. Didn't know how much longer I could keep going, but I was going to see my little speech to the end. Even if my legs were beginning to shake because of the strain.

"We will tell you more soon. For now, let's fortify. Get this camp back into order. And burn the bodies while we can. We're gonna need to do a lot of preparation for this. Just remember: we can do this! No matter what, we are  _Archaneans_ , and no wannabe dragon fucker is gonna take us down! Who's with me!?"

That last bit got to them. Several cries of agreement rang out.

I turned back around, looking at my friends.

"…I think I'm about to pass out, guys."

* * *

Fortunately for us, the one thing the abominations didn't get their clawed hands on were our weapons. Still had a veritable shit-ton of them left, everything from axes and maces to spears and swords. Doubted how much they'd do, especially the swords and spears, considering how mine just sort of bounced off the Pontifex's scales. Blunter weapons had a better shot, apparently; some of the men were even able to kill a few of the abominations with them. Still a far cry from what we needed, but it would have to be enough.

We decided when we'd go back into Khadein: just a day from then. Almost three since we got out of there. I wasn't thrilled at the prospect of going back in, especially after all the shit I went through, but I'd already galvanized the troops. Somehow, I knew that if I backed out, things would get a whole lot messier.

Not that I would, but still.

The question of how in the hell were we going to damage these things came when I found Miriel torching one of the bodies.

I stumbled upon her towards the edge of our ruined camp. Just got done sorting our weapons, making sure we had enough. With a fire magic tome in hand, she sent a fireball towards the corpse of one of the abominations. It slammed into its scales, making them bubble and burst as it traveled through its cold flesh. Its draconian head slammed backwards as the blow traveled through its body.

"…Miriel-?"

" _Shhh_!" She shushed me.

Once more, fire surged from her hand towards the body, burning another black hole into its flesh. I looked at her like she'd gone mad.

"…You think it's dead yet, or do you wanna do that a couple more times just to make sure?"

"I am aware that it is deceased, Alex." Miriel replied, taking a quill and scrawling down a few notes in a different tome. "I believe I have just found a curious weakness in our enemies defenses."

I looked at the smoldering corpse of the abomination as smoke trailed up from its open mouth. "Lemme guess: fire?"

"Indeed," Miriel confirmed. "No doubt you saw the holes in Ransom's body when we examined it? Those were caused by fire magic. Your testimony regarding the Pontifex, in which you lodged a torch into its eye. And finally, the manakete's flames burning them into dust. All of it points to that conclusion, does it not?"

I thought for a moment, putting the pieces together before nodding. "Yeah, guess it makes sense. Don't think we can set our weapons on fire, though, so… That means we'll have to protect the remaining mages, then."

"A viable stratagem; while the soldiers are distracting the abominations, the mages should be able to use magic to tear them apart." Miriel answered, putting her tome away. "However, it could result in significant casualties if even one soldier falls, breaking the line. We must be prepared if that occurs."

I nodded, humming. "Yeah, I hear you." I frowned. "I know I'm the one who proposed it and all, but… Do you think our plan's kinda stupid? I mean…"

"It is not as if we have much choice in the matter, Alexander." Miriel said quickly, looking me in the eye. "Why do you think I supported your decision? We came here in order to discover what turned Ransom into a monster, as well as to destroy it if necessary. Your plan correlates with your Lord's, does it not? It is quite obvious that there are no other alternatives other than to destroy this 'Pontifex' and prevent an invasion by these monstrosities. Were we not sent here, it is likely that we would not even have this chance to prevent it before it began."

Adjusting the fingers on my iron hand nervously, I conceded her point with another nod. It was amazing what a night of sleep could do, even if it wasn't particularly restful. Even the bruise on my chest and my legs didn't really hurt anymore.

"…Thanks, Miriel." I replied, my corners of my lips upturning in a small smile. "That actually means a lot more than you know."

"I am pleased to see I had that effect. The men are looking to you for leadership now, after your speech, and it would be disastrous should that image of you fail in their eyes." Miriel continued matter-of-factly. "I hope you realized this."

"Yeah," I rasped. "Yeah, I did. Said all that shit while I was still off my rocker, but I won't take anything I said back."

A pseudo-leadership role was not something I signed up for, but I'd bear it if it meant we got out of Khadein alive. Hell, if the men went farther and fought harder if they thought I was some sort of leader to look up to, I'd gladly be it. I actually felt more put-together than before, if that made sense.

"Excellent," Miriel said, taking out her tome again. "Then we may have a chance. Good day, Alexander."

I watched her walk off. Soon enough, I left that scarred corpse behind. Had one more thing to do before we left the following day.

* * *

I found Ricken with Nowi, behind a few of the remaining crates. Couldn't exactly tell what was happening, considering his back was to me, but I didn't really have the time or patience to let them finish whatever it was they were doing.

"Ricken. Nowi." I said, my armored footsteps clanking against the ground. Went for heavier armor, considering it probably saved my life earlier. Besides, never knew when those abominations would pop out of the ground again. Better to be prepared.

Ricken jumped nearly a foot off the ground, whipping around so fast the tip of his hat lightly slapped a confused Nowi on the nose. "A-Alex!" He half-screamed, his voice getting to an uncomfortably high-pitch. "E-Er, uh, I mean, hello! D-Did you need me for something?"

I stared at the both of them. Ricken looked like he was just about to piss himself, while Nowi simply pouted, crossing her arms.

"Jeez, Mr. Frowny Face, way to ruin the moment!" Nowi groused, her pout growing more powerful by the second. "Could've at least gave us a warning before you stomped in here!"

I shook my head. "There isn't a lotta time for warnings. You of all people should know that."

"I-It's fine, really!" Ricken said hastily, staring up at me with wide brown eyes. "Is there anything I can help with? M-Maybe Miriel needs something-!"

I groaned, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "Ricken, for Christ's sake, I know my face isn't pretty but this is ridiculous. I just wanted to tell you something, not scold you, alright? And I guess this goes for Nowi too."

Nowi flailed her arms around wildly. "What did I do!?"

I stared at her pointedly. "You slept in our supplies the entire way here without Robin's permission. Although I guess that works in our favor; you're our only hope right now. You  _can_ get over those mountains, right?"

"Of course I can!" Nowi claimed exuberantly. "I'm a big, scary dragon! I can take on anything! Even those big scary things!"

"Alright, good." I nodded. "Just making sure. Ricken?"

"Y-Yes?" The brown-haired boy answered nervously.

"When Nowi leaves, I want you to go with her." I said bluntly.

Ricken's brows furrowed. "Why? I thought I was gonna go with you guys."

"I know." I frowned. "I know you did. Listen, kid, I know I did you wrong back in Ylisstol all those months ago. Should've just kept my goddamn mouth shut back then. But this isn't about ability or shit like that; you're young. You've got your entire life ahead of you. It'll be cold as hell but you'll make it outta here. I won't lie to you: I think we're heading into a really bloody battle at best and a suicide mission at worst. Don't want someone like you getting caught up in that." I looked to Nowi, smirking a little. "Besides, I think Nowi'd enjoy the company, wouldn't she?"

Nowi's eyes lit up and the smile on her lips could almost outshine the sun. She bounced in place, grasping Ricken's hand in her own. "Oh, please, please,  _pleeease_! It'll just be the two of us and the woods- well, I guess it's good enough with just the two of us! I promise I won't fall asleep with my dragonstone and burn down an entire forest!"

I looked to Ricken. "Think you can say no to that- Wait, what the hell did she just say…?"

Ricken looked down, his lips pursed. If I were him, I would've taken the chance in a heartbeat, but then again that may've been the difference between us.

"…Are you sure I should go?" Ricken asked, turning his head back to me. "There aren't a lot of mages left here, and…"

"Oh, trust me, Ricken, I know," I chuckled humorlessly. "These things get hit hard by fire and considering you're a mage and Nowi literally  _breathes_  fire, I'm kinda concerned we're shooting ourselves in the foot." I adjusted a few fingers on my iron hand. "But, she's also the only one who's getting outta here anytime soon. So, you know, fucked if we do, fucked if we don't. And, Ricken?"

Ricken stared at me intently.

"I know I'm not the smartest guy, but I can tell what's going on between you two," I tilted my head to them. "I'd take this chance. I'm not forcing you to do this; this is  _your_ choice."

For a few seconds, the silence was deafening. Only the soft rustling of snowflakes falling to the ground broke it. Ricken looked like I'd just dropped a hundred pounds of armor and weapons on him, what with his shoulders slouched. I gave him as much time as he needed. Nowi looked at him from the side, her eyes pleading. For once, a serious expression gripped her face.

Finally, he broke the silence. "…Alright. I'll go."

The smile that broke out on Nowi's face was somehow even more radiant than before, and Ricken barely had time to move before the manakete wrapped him into a bear hug. Ricken sputtered but returned the embrace as he tried to stop himself from falling to the ground. Giggles filled the cold air.

I nodded, a faint smile still on my lips. "I know it isn't in my right to judge you, but I honestly think you made a good decision. Don't worry, I'll cover for you. Nobody's gonna give you shit over this, I promise." I turned around and began walking away. "I'll leave you two alone for a while."

Ricken was able to get out a simple 'thanks' before I went out of earshot. My small smile faded the farther I went.

I hoped I had a chance to see Cordelia again.

* * *

I saw Ricken and Nowi off.

The brown-haired apprentice looked almost comical, with the layers upon layers of cloth covering him, something Nowi did not hesitate to poke fun at. I could see Ricken's luminescent blush from beneath it all.

In a blinding flash of light, Nowi transformed. She spread her feathery wings, and craned her neck around, apparently stretching. Her dragon form was as impressive, as ever. Ricken climbed on top of her back, looking like an ornament rather than a person. Soon enough, with a beat of her wings, Nowi was in the air. She flew like a feather, cutting through the cold, frozen air with grace and precision. A far cry from her more obnoxious personality. Well, obnoxious to me. Thankfully, they were packing light; nothing more than Ricken's layers of clothes, really. Nowi could probably get them both food.

Moments later, I couldn't see them; they began crossing the mountaintops, past several grey clouds.

My breath came out in a fine white mist. I hated that. I wanted to be somewhere warm. Wanted to get the hell away from the cesspit known as Khadein.

I shook my head, unstrapping the mace at my belt and walking to where everyone else was.

Maces were not swords. That may seem obvious, but really, they were fundamentally different. The weight was not as evenly distributed, being more top heavy, and it was heavier. The weight wasn't the problem, the problem was trying to use it without throwing it like a fucking moron. It was also shorter, which meant I didn't have a lot of reach.

And considering how strong those abominations were, that was a problem.

Wasn't as if we had much of a choice, though. It was either that or an axe, and I was even less competent with axes than I was with maces, even if I blurrily recalled using one once. Axes and maces and anything blunt were the only weapons that could physically get through those things' tough scales. The shit was like heavy plate armor. The only other weapon we had was the fire magic from the handful of mages we had left.

Things weren't looking good. We didn't even really have a plan for when we got down there. How would we even find the Pontifex?

If we ever made it back to Ylisstol, I noted to myself, I was going to figure out how to use more weapons than just a sword.

Those thoughts were shuffled away for later as I came upon our group. All thirty-five soldiers ready and able. Makeshift torches in one hand and axe or mace in the other. Looked like were going on a fucking witch hunt.

"And the man o' the hour himself," Sully remarked, although I doubted she meant it mockingly. "Been waitin' for ya. Wonderin' if ya decided to cut loose and run for the mountains."

"Ain't like him to just up and quit, is it?" Vaike replied, crossing his arms and smirking. "'Sides, the old dastard's a fighter, ain't that right?"

"I'm right here, guys!" I said heatedly. "And can we not do this right now? We're about to delve into the fucking Cursed Dread Fort again."

"Well hey, it ain't like you didn't have a hand in that," Sully replied.

I opened my mouth but closed it a moment later, nodding. "…Fair enough. Anyway, we ready to get this show on the road?"

"In a sec," Vaike said. "Men are all jumpy-like, like they got rats shoved down their trousers. Think ya can work a lil' of that magic ya did a while back?"

I was going to protest and whine, but I thought better of it when I looked to my right. The men, the soldiers. The Ylisseans and Feroxi. They watched me, looked up to me. Standing in front of the same busted open spire we went down almost a week prior.

I turned back to them. "…Are you sure, guys? Not gonna lie, I kinda… said that on a whim, you know? Wasn't really right in the head back then."

"And ya are now?" Sully snorted.

I frowned. "That was really funny, Sully. I'm laughing my ass off."

Sully hooted a laugh while Miriel came forward. "A small speech should suffice," She began. "Something to soothe their nerves. If not, then many of them could break long before our task is complete."

I took a deep breath. "…Fucking, alright. Fine. They're looking at me anyway, might as well make the best of it, I guess."

I stood up, looking down at the men gathered before me. My heart beat in my ears, drowning out any other noise. I had to do something, but for a few moments, I was completely frozen. Like I was encased in ice or I'd become a statue.

_Say something, boy scout, or else they'll think you're stupid._

"Men," I began, my voice almost surprising me with how loud and booming it was, despite the usual gravelly sound to it. "Today, we delve into an ancient ruin to root out and destroy an abomination. This horrible monster that's responsible for everything we've been through. The one that, if we let it, has an army that will invade our land, murder our people, and burn down our homes. But you know what? We are not going to let that happen!" A threw my arms out to my sides, almost like I was caught in a trance. "We are going to go down there, find this fucking scaly bastard, and we're gonna burn it 'til it's nothing but ash in the wind! Feroxi, Ylisseans, are you with me!?"

A resounding cry from the mob was my response, nearly sending me tumbling into the ruin then and there. Instead, despite my heart pounding away, I smiled. "Damn right you are! With me, everyone! Let's show those bastards who the real monsters are!"

I spun on my heels, staring at my friends. Sully looked at me her expression unreadable, but maybe just a hint of respect. Or maybe that was just hopeful thinking. Vaike gave me a thumbs up, and Miriel nodded once.

"Well, what're you guys waiting for?" I asked loudly, hefting a mace in one hand and a torch in the other. "We got a Pontifex to kill!"

* * *

The darkness of Khadein's depths. Something so alien yet so familiar at the same time. I hated it. I hated the time I spent in it, and I hated how I chose to go into it again, taking my friends and the men who followed me. It was a suicide mission, there was no doubt about it. The chances of us succeeding were already slim, but also getting out? Probably not zero, but somewhere close.

The sounds of our footfalls echoed through Khadein's halls as we pressed forward. The darkness skittered away as the light of our torches drew closer. None of us spoke a word; there was no need to. No last-minute jabs, no sarcastic remarks, nothing. The only sound was our footsteps, the clanking of our armor, and the crackling of our torches.

My heart beat in my chest like a drum, as it was want to do. Silence in Khadein was not good. Silence meant death or another illusion or the Pontifex screaming out at you from the abyss-

We went down familiar hallways and corridors, those goddamn statues from before staring at us gormlessly. Eventually, we made it to the bridge where I was first separated. The sight sent a chill down my spine as I looked around.

A burnt-out torch laid on the ground, along with puddles of dried blood. But no bodies.

"Sully," I called to the red-haired cavalier. "When we were attacked here, how many of the men died?"

"Two," Sully answered, putting a hand to the blade of her axe. "Scaly bastard came from the ceiling and tore 'em apart. That's when we fell back. 'Course, didn't realize ya weren't with us 'til we were almost to the surface."

I nodded, looking warily at the blood and the bridge. "…We either get across this bridge, or we go onto the one below. Found fuck all on that one, so I say we get across this one and see what we find."

"No more than two individuals could cross it at once." Miriel surmised.

"Gods, lets hope nothing grabs us-"

"Vaike, shut up." I said sternly. "Let's not jinx our chances, please."

Vaike shrugged in response.

"Alright, everyone, two at a time, one after the other!" I called out, deciding to conquer my fears and get over it.

My already fraying nerves nearly made me jitter off the bridge. Despite me shutting him up, what Vaike had said got to me, if only a little bit. The abyss was on either side of us except for a thin stretch, and one wrong move, or God forbid, a single push, would send us into that dark oblivion.

I steeled myself as best as I could as I made it to the other side, the incessant humming of the bridge gone. The other side was just the same as the one we just left, with on key difference: a door, not an archway. Doors were apparently a fucking rarity in Khadein, only to be used when you wanted to torture the ever-loving hell out of someone.

I took a deep breath for what felt like the thousandth time. Turning back, I saw the men and my friends crossing the bridge. Idly, I watched the sides of the construct, staring into the black abyss below. Searching for anything.

Nothing came up. No giant tentacles, no massive monster. Not even one of the abominations of the Pontifex. Nothing.

"Careful 'bout lookin' into Tharja's soul, Alex," Vaike chuckled as he walked past me. "May just curse ya for it!"

"Ha, I'd like to see her try!" I laughed, tension ebbing it's way out of my body.

We stared at the massive doors, easily towering over us. They were certainly bigger than the ones I had to open before. I turned to Vaike and Sully. "Alright, don't think any one of us can get this thing open. Guess it's a group project."

Sully snorted a laugh. "Heh, and here I thought you were gonna try and break down yerself. Not quite that mad, eh?"

I chuckled. "Not yet."

We'd've been fucked if the door was locked, but thankfully it wasn't. It creaked open, scraping along with white stone floor as our group pushed against it. With one final heave, the doors opened fully, accidentally slamming into the sides of the stone walls behind it.

What we saw was breathtaking.

It was an entire city frozen in time, buried underneath the earth. The ceiling was full of small, faintly glowing purple sparkles, embedded in the rock. Just in front of us was a street made of cobblestone, going down further into the city. On either side were buildings, their doors faintly ajar or smashed entirely. Despite that, as far as I could tell, they showed no sign of decay. The buildings were made from the same material as everything else; white stone, carved into intricate patterns in some places. The ceiling was high-enough up that we could even see into the far distance.

Something glowed, far away. It was small, almost insignificant, but it was there.

"Holy…" I mumbled to myself, looking back to where we came. It looked like the base of a tower, which was, well, obvious. One of the last indications that Khadein was there. That there was this whole world right beneath our feet.

"I'll be damned." Sully said, looking up to the ceiling and whistling. "Never thought we'd see anythin' like this."

I turned to my left to see Miriel. It looked she was about to start hyperventilating. "Fascinating…! Absolutely astonishing! To think that it was all right here, frozen in time! If only I had time to completely explore these ruins, the knowledge I could glean from it!"

"Heh, yeah," Vaike chuckled. "It's mighty pretty, but don'tcha think we should be gettin' a move on? Those things could jump out at us at any second! Hell, think they burst outta the towers last time."

I snapped myself out of that trance, turning to the men who had been whispering and murmuring among themselves. "Alright, let's get a move on. Longer we stay here the longer the Pontifex can do… well, whatever the fuck it wants to do." I motioned with my right hand to move.

We went down the street and towards the glow in the distance. Might as well start there, I thought. It was either something important to the Pontifex or the Pontifex itself. Nothing but a guess, of course, but it was the best option in my mind at the time. We were already down there; what else were we going to do?

Sully placed a hand to my chest, stopping me and the rest of the men from moving. "Did ya hear that?" She whispered.

My brows furrowed as I looked around and strained to hear anything. The purple light from the ceiling was enough to make sure that we weren't completely blind without our torches, but we still needed them to make out any useful details.

Nothing but darkness and silence. I knew better than to not take Sully at her word, though. It was obvious what the fuck was happening.

I turned to the men again. "Get your weapons ready, guys. I think we've got company."

_Gotta keep up a brave face. It's the only thing I'm useful for right now. Besides bashing shit in._

Even though we weren't in hallways and corridors anymore, we were still in close quarters; the streets of Khadein didn't allow a lot of breathing room. On either side of us were buildings, with only a few alleyways between them to break up the monotony. I wondered just how the people were able to live there without going absolutely bonkers.

I didn't even know how I was keeping it together. Wondered how long that would last.

We all stopped when a scream echoed through the street. I shipped around, mace in hand. One of the men was being dragged into an alleyway, and before we could even do anything, he was dragged kicking and screaming into the black. The sound of crunching bone and tearing muscle replaced his shouting.

Turning around, gritting my teeth, I saw them, at the edge of our torches. The light reflected off their eyes, glaring at us from the dark.

My breathing came fast and quick as I shouted: "Mages, fry them! Fucking burn them!"

My orders were followed. Fire surged from behind me, striking one of the abominations in the face. It tore through it like a knife through butter, making its scales bubble and burst. It fell to the ground with a smoking stump where its head used to be. The other one ducked underneath another fireball with agility I wouldn't expect, coming straight towards us.

It came right at  _me_.

First real combat since losing my hand almost a year ago. My grip tightened around the mace, my heart beating in my chest so fast I thought it was going to burst. Despite the adrenaline flowing through my veins, demanding I either charge or run, I stood my ground, readying myself. The creature came into range, and when it did, I swung. I was right; maces were very different from swords. I almost missed the abomination entirely. Luckily for me, the creature's head was massive, meaning I didn't have to aim well. The head of my mace slammed into the monster's face, and I heard the cracking of its scales. Shards of it dropped to the ground.

Finally, I was up close and personal with one. Its scales were the same color as the Pontifex; an oily black. It was big, taller than me. It didn't have wings, thank the lord, but what it did have more than made up for it. A wide open mouth filled with razor sharp teeth, and long claws that tapered to a fine point.

It was only when I hit it that I realized it was aiming for my head as well. Because of the blow I dealt it, though, it swung too high, missing my head entirely. Dumb luck, I'd say. A fireball came a second later, tearing through its midsection and out the other side. Smoke billowed out of its mouth as it fell to the ground, its oddly human eyes staring up at me listlessly.

The sound of battle surrounded me. A familiar noise, almost welcoming all things considered. The mages were in the middle, tearing holes into the monsters with their fire magic, Miriel among them. Everyone else was fending off the monsters as best they could, and even then it was clear we were losing. Badly. Saw a man get torn apart when several of them ganged up on him, tearing through his armor and throwing away his axe. His screams would haunt me until the day I died.

_Many things will haunt you until the day you die, boy scout._

" _Everyone, keep moving!_ " I shouted, smashing my mace into the side of an abomination. " _We're sitting ducks out here! Get moving!_ "

" _And go where, Alex!?_ " Sully snarled, her axe finding its way into the eyeball of an abomination, causing it to let out a horrid screeching noise, like metal scrapping against metal. " _Ain't like we got a lotta options!_ "

A fireball went through the monster I was fighting, and with my attention now free, I scanned the area around us, looking for anything that could serve as shelter or a defensive position. After a few seconds, I found one. A church-like building, not quote a cathedral but bigger than any church I'd ever seen, stood out among a line of uniform buildings. A small light, even less luminous than the tiny glow we saw before, emanated from it.

_This'll either be a stupid decision or the best choice of my goddamn life._

" _To the church!_ " I declared, my iron hand clanking slightly as I pointed to it. " _Everyone, to the church!_ "

We fought abominations at every turn, our men being either dragged off or torn apart as we went. It was getting so bad I was beginning to think we wouldn't make it to the church at all.

My heart dropped into my stomach when I saw that the door to the church was  _closed._

_…Well, we knew we'd probably die here anyway._

I turned around just to see another one of us swarmed and eaten. A mage sent a fireball directly at the abomination, but it ran away with the remains of a soldier in its mouth. I swore, they came out of the fucking ground, there were so many. I knew there was an army. A massive one. This was to be expected. But a part of me, a small part of me wanted to believe that this was better than either freezing to death or waiting for them to come to us.

Now? I wasn't so sure.

Hearing a noise like a door creaking open, I whipped around to see exactly that. The doors of the church moaned open, like the jaws of a giant predator. We were out of options, so really I didn't have time to think about the implication of a door opening on its own. I just did what I thought was right; I rushed the men inside ahead of me, while I watched the exit for stragglers.

"C'mon, c'mon!  _Let's go!_ " I ordered, getting the last of the men inside. "Help me get this fucking thing shut!"

We pushed the doors closed, the mages sending fire through the door, burning monsters with every wave of flame they shot out. With one final heave, the doors slammed shut again.

Despite the dire situation, I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief as I slumped against the door. It might not be able to hold the abominations for long, but considering they weren't hurling themselves against it yet, I was counting my blessings.

_Mental note: when I get home, talk to Frederick. I am going to learn to use whatever weapons I can. Maybe how to ride a horse, too._

Wouldn't have helped in Khadein, but it was the thought that counted.

"…Shit," I mumbled, looking at our exhausted and wounded group. Looking around, I saw Sully pacing around. "S-Sully… How many did we lose out there?"

"Damn, do I look like I wanna count right now!?" She exclaimed, before sighing. "I… twenty-four, I think. Came down here with thirty-five and got here with twenty-four. Alex, how in the seven hells are we gonna kill that Pontifex bastard with only twenty-four men!?"

I looked down. "…I don't know. We both saw that light? Got a feeling that's where it is. But, with that fucking horde outside…"

"Yeah, lookin' real damn bleak, don't it?" Sully asked rhetorically, her fists clenched so hard they were shaking. Almost looked like they were bleeding.

I nearly slammed my fist into the wall myself. Standing up, a ran a hand through my wet hair. Trying to get a hold of myself, I walked forward, looking at the group. Many had scratches and cuts, a few were bleeding, and one in particular looked as if he would die at any moment from the deep gouge in his side. Miriel was attending to that one, while the mages did the best they could. They weren't trained healers or clerics, though, and the best we could really provide was Vulenaries.

Belatedly, I looked to the back of the building, looking into the darkness. My heart jumped in my chest when I saw a robed figure, its back to me. My grip on my bloodied mace tightened. What in the actual hell was it? We didn't-!

It turned around, whatever it was, with fire in its hand and a tome in the other. Before I was able to shout, it sent it forward, sailing just above my head and hitting something behind me. The smell of burning, rotten meat reached my nose as I turned around, an abomination no one had seen writhing on the ground before laying still.

"Hmm," Whatever it was hummed, stepping closer. His footsteps sounded like a dog walking on floor tiles. Several men got up, including Vaike and Sully, and stood beside and behind me, pointing their weapons at it.

"Who's this dastard?" Sully growled. "We didn't have a black-cloaked mage with us."

"Woulda been real suspicious if we did though, wouldn't it?" Vaike commented.

"Both of you,  _please_ ," I pleaded, before turning back to the cloaked figure. "Who are you?"

"…An astute question," It answered, pulling at the edges of its hood with scaly hands. "One I hardly know the answer for. I know who you are, scurrying around within the halls of Khadein as you have. Modern Archaneans. Come to pillage the last remnants of your forebears, or to perhaps rid the world of the evil within? Nonetheless, you asked a question, did you not? Very well, I shall answer."

I took a step back as its hood fell away, revealing the same dragon-like face as the other abominations. I didn't even know how it was able to speak, what with its snout. After a moment, it bowed extravagantly.

"My name is Mikael, advisor to the Pontifex of Khadein. It is a pleasure to meet you." He looked back up. His mouth did not move when he spoke. "If you would humor me, I have a request for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about not posting last week like I said I would. Fuckin' work man.
> 
> And Khadein is almost over. Thank God. This has been a nice experiment but I don't think I'm very good at writing this kind of stuff. Also, this is now the longest Chapter. The first to break over 9k words. No chapter will be over 10k, I'll promise you that.
> 
> Anyway, don't have anything to say, really. Chapter 27 is already done is it's going to be uploaded next week, that way it'll be finished quicker.
> 
> The nightmare's almost over!
> 
> Here's our Discord server: discord .gg/9XG3U7a


	27. The Lurking Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter hasn't been beta read, unfortunately. So if you see any awful errors please let me know in the reviews. Thanks!

"I beseech you, Archaneans, assist me in ridding the world of my old master, the Pontifex." Mikael the dragon-man pleaded, folding his hands in front of him. "It is quite clear she has lost her way, and for the sake of those outside this dark crypt, she must be granted mercy."

I was still trying to get over his lack of mouth-movingness. Turning to Vaike, he still had his bloodied axe trained on the dragon-man. Although, his face was marred with confusion, his eyes as wide as dinner plates. He turned to me, his expression unchanging.

"F-Fascinating!" Miriel said breathlessly, nearly dropping her tome. "One that can communicate!? This location grows increasingly interesting by the second!"

"That's puttin' it one way," Sully snorted. "I'm just wonderin' why we haven't skewered it yet."

"Yeah," I replied, my voice light. "Let's just murder the only thing that's talked to us since we got here. Brilliant idea."

"I don't appreciate that tone, Alex. Like you weren't 'bout to go crazy on that dastard!" Sully accused.

I bit my lip as I turned back to Mikael. "Sorry," I mumbled. "Anyway, you were…?"

"Mikael," The dragon-man repeated. His fucking mouth still wouldn't move. How the hell was he even speaking? "I realize my visage is rather disconcerting. Your men look as if they have gone through a great deal. Perhaps we should converse somewhere more comfortable?"

Turning around, I could see what he meant. A lot of the men seemed to be on their last legs, whether from wounds or just exhaustion. Even the mages, precious few of them that there were, seemed to have a hard time catching their breath.

I pursed my lips in thought.

_You're basically their leader now, boy scout. Best start acting like it without being prompted._

"How long will those doors last?" I asked, turning back around.

"The citizens outside will not be able to breach this sanctum." Mikael replied, a deep rumble to his voice. "I have made sure of it."

"Cryptic," I murmured. I gave a sideways glance to Sully. "…Could you give us a second?"

"Absolutely," Mikael nodded, his disturbingly human eyes staring at me unnervingly. "Take all the time you wish. I will be here."

I motioned for Vaike, Sully, and Miriel to come closer, and we huddled together.

"Think it goes without sayin', but I don't like this," Sully began, shooting a disapproving glare to the dragon-man. "This entire 'expedition' has been nothin' but strange shit happenin' left and right. We know there's a Pontifex, but this dastard called himself that monster's advisor. What in the seven hells are we supposed to make of that?"

"Think of what we could learn," Miriel whispered harshly. "If it wanted to kill our group, it could have done so instead of conversing with us."

"Yeah? How do ya know it don't wanna get us all isolated-like and take us out one by one?" Sully pointed out. "If it's anythin' like the ones outside, then it's strong, but it can't kill us all on its own."

"None of the ones outside used magic." I countered.

"Does that really mean anythin'? Maybe this is a different type or some shit. Just sayin', it ain't healthy to trust something with a face that looks like a dragon's ass."

I took what Sully said into account and looked to Vaike. "You've been quiet this entire time," I stated. "Anything you wanna say, Teach?"

"Teach ain't got nothin' to say." Vaike replied, taking a deep breath. "Nothin' the Vaike'll say can make this better. As much as Teach hates to say it, think this one is for you guys."

"C'mon, Vaike." I said, patting him on the shoulder. "You gotta have  _something_ to say. You brought me outta my funk the day before we first came down here. You sure you got nothing?"

"Heh, leave it to you to bring that up!" Vaike chuckled. "Nah, I really don't. Thank ya kindly for askin' though. I'll leave all the decision-makin' to you guys. Think I'll go check on the men, yeah? Oh, and if Sully gets too ornery, just send her my way. Think we could use the stress relief!"

Sully sputtered while I nearly choked on my own spit. Vaike looked at us curiously before coming to a realization. He held up both his hands placatingly. "Now hold on just a sec! Teach didn't mean it like that-!"

Sully marched up to Vaike and grabbed him by the corners of his armor – For once he was actually wearing some, thank the Lord. It was cold as hell. – and snarled. "If we get outta here I'm gonna beat your sorry ass so gods' damn hard-! Yer lucky I like you-!"

Sully apparently realized what she was saying before she finished. She turned to us with an uncharacteristic…  _blush_ on her cheeks.

"Even in these frozen and dark ruins, it appears sexual tension finds a way," Miriel remarked, her eyes looking like they were analyzing Sully and Vaike. "Perhaps the situation makes the feeling stronger? Ah, yes, that would make sense…"

"You saw,  _nothing!_ " Sully growled at me and Miriel. " _Nothing!_ "

"I saw nothing. Definitely." I replied, trying to keep in giggles. "W-Whatever. We need to… Christ, Vaike, go check on the men. Sully? Anything else you wanna say?"

Vaike sped towards the rest of the group while Sully looked at the ground unsurely. "Alex." She said, tilting her head back up. "We only got twenty-four soldiers left. I ain't gonna say my idea back in camp was the right one. Hell, it looks like we might have chance, if that scaly dastard's got somethin' up his sleeve. But, these men? They'll follow you into the depths of this ruin. Ya can see it in their eyes. Just sayin', make the most of it, and make the best decision ya can. Hopefully we won't all get torn apart like those other eleven sorry men out there."

With that, Sully turned and walked to the group.

I took a deep breath, again, for the thousandth time. It was a wonder why my lungs were even still working. I looked to Miriel and she nodded. We both walked back to Mikael, who had decided that meditation was the best way to spend his time, judging by his position sitting at the… well, I hesitated to call it an altar. Didn't look like any altar I'd ever seen, in my old world or otherwise.

"Ah, you have returned. Has your palavering borne fruit?" Mikael asked, standing up.

I noted the staff nearby, resting near a corner of the room. Ignored it for the time being. "Yeah." I nodded. "Where do you wanna talk?"

* * *

Mikael led Miriel and I towards the back. He opened a wooden door into some sort of backroom, lit with a single candle. It gave the room an eerie feel, like we were about to talk about something serious.

_Laying it on a bit think, eh?_

"Please, come in," Mikael beckoned, circling around a table and then facing us. "I have already told you of my request. Should you accept it, we could leave this room at any time. However, in my experience, people dislike it when they are not told what they want to know. Therefore, ask whatever questions you may have, while we have time."

I groaned, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "God, why did you have to-!"

"You are an edifying specimen." Miriel observed, adjusting her glasses in such a way that the light of the candle reflected off the lenses. "The knowledge I could glean from you would make for an excellent book. Ah, but I will try to limit my questioning for the time being. We have precious little time with no food or water. Allow me to put this in the simplest terms I can: what are you?"

I gave Miriel a look and then shrugged. At least she had a sense of urgency.

Mikael tilted his head up. "That is what I am curious about as well, milady." He scratched at his head, and I had to keep myself from cringing at the sound it made. "I awoke a scant few months ago, I believe. The last memory I can recollect is sealing away the Pontifex with my fellows. For her own good, of course. She was meddling with powers beyond her ken. And yet, I awoke in the form you see now. I suppose I could call myself and those of my likeness… draconians? Perhaps…"

"Short, snappy, and beats just calling them monsters all the goddamn time," I remarked. "But what you just said… You sealed away that monster? The Pontifex?"

I felt a shiver go down my spine at its mention, even from my own mouth.

"Indeed." Mikael nodded, tilting his head to the side as he looked at me. "Pontifex Garland was her name, before she was swallowed by her…" Mikael paused. "… _obsession_. She lost someone dear to her, you see, and in her grief she delved into dark topics. Somehow, she acquired divine dragon blood, and attempted a ritual. It was supposed to grant her and all her subjects immortality. So that no one would have to experience the grief of losing a loved one. Unfortunately, she did not-" Mikael growled, baring his sharp teeth for a moment. I took a step back, my left hand on the handle of my mace. He gained control of himself a moment later. "…My apologies. Thinking of her foolishness still fills me with rage."

"No shit." I commented dryly.

"Once again, I apologize." Mikael bowed before looking up at us again. "As you can tell, her experiment was a failure. She did grant everyone within the confines of the city immortality but at a great cost." Mikael ran a scaly and clawed hand down his face, and for a moment he somehow looked sad. "The deformation of our people. The draconians, the  _monsters_ you fought outside, they were our citizens. Students and their families turned into crazed shadows of their former selves."

I felt a lump grow in my throat at the thought of that. All of them, all of the things we'd fought. We knew that Ransom had been turned into them, or something like them, but all of them being the original citizens of Khadein…

Felt like I got hit by a truck. It was even worse when I realized that, in hindsight, it made sense.

"Fascinating…" Miriel murmured. "If that is the case, then why are you not as they are?"

"I do not know. Perhaps it was when my fellow advisors and I confronted her." Mikael replied, scratching a nail on the table. "We caught her just as soon as she was finishing her ritual. We tried our best to seal her away as she was…  _transmogrifying_." He said that as if it was hard to spit out. "Whatever the case, I am not under the same affliction as the rest. I wish I could ask my fellow advisors, but they… expired."

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "Fuck's sake, man," I said eloquently. "Come here for an expedition and next thing you know we come across a fucking ancient horror story. Well, I knew it was a horror story, but… yeah." I shook my head. "Anyway, just one last question, if that's okay with you, Miriel?"

"Hopefully we will have time to converse more rigorously later," Miriel said, turning her head to me. "Continue with your question, Alex."

I nodded. "Alright. There was a guy here, a while back. His name was Ransom. He was old, poor eyesight, know anything about him?"

Mikael's eyes lit up in recognition. "I believe I do, yes. He was the fool who released the Pontifex. He murdered my fellow advisors, just as they were beginning to awaken." Mikael looked down at the table. "Garland grabbed him before he could get to me. What was a fool like him after, I wonder? If he had just destroyed the phylactery, he could have ended it. Instead, he became one of the many draconians within these ruins. Or perhaps, since you speak of him…?"

"He attacked a village." I explained, adjusting a few fingers on my iron hand. "We actually came here to explore and destroy anything that turned him into a… what did you call it? 'Draconian'?. I guess we're on the right track, if we found you." I stopped adjusting my fingers and looked up as realization dawned on me. "You said something about a 'phylactery' and how Ransom could have ended it there. What's that all about?"

"Ah, indeed." Mikael rumbled. Seemed like he'd been waiting for me to ask that question. "The phylactery is keeping everything together. It was the original tool Pontifex Garland used to turn everyone into a draconian. Destroy it, and you destroy the Pontifex, once and for all."

"Okay, well, first of all," I began. "Why the fuck does everything go all right again when that's destroyed? And why didn't you guys destroy it all those years ago?"

"Garland's very life essence, as it is now, flows through the phylactery. I imagine it was so the moment she completed her ritual. She is bound to it, and she is almost impossible to kill with it still intact. As to why we did not destroy it when we had the chance…" It looked as if Mikael was remorseful about it, but it was hard to tell. "I only surmised it once I was released. She guards it, you see, except for a scant few times. I have not simply done nothing as the months have passed me by. She would stop me long before I even had the chance to get to it. That is why I requested your aid; I cannot defeat her alone. I need your assistance."

I looked away, thinking for a second. A thought came to mind; a conclusion we'd come to a while before. "We think that when we kill the Pontifex, that all the other monsters- Er, draconians, will die as well. Is that true?"

"It is certainly a possibility." Mikael nodded. "They were transformed along with Garland. I see no reason why it would not work for them as well." Mikael paused for a second, seemingly thinking. "…In fact, I believe the whole of Khadein may collapse once the phylactery is destroyed."

"Ex-fucking-scuse me  _what_?" I blurted out, leaning forward and placing my iron hand on the table. "Where the hell does that come in!?"

"…You mean the vibrations, do you not?" Miriel said slowly. "Khadein shook when you injured the Pontifex, Alex. And it continued to do so as we descended further into the ruins. Even the bridge did so when we crossed it."

"Garland's magic has seeped into the stone itself," Mikael agreed. "Therefore, if what I have surmised is true, once the phylactery is destroyed, you will all need to leave, quickly. You may only have a short time before the entire city collapses on your heads."

I ran a hand through my hair, feeling the sweat trail down my scalp. "Christ, we're gonna have a fucking hard time, huh? Unless there's another broken tower nearby. Wait…" I trailed off. "When we destroy the phylactery, will you die? I mean, you're also one of them, right?"

"If I do, then I will go with no regrets," Mikael stated. "My friends and family are long gone, I imagine. I am unsure if my homeland, Gra, even exists any longer."

"Is there a broken tower near the Pontifex's… what, chambers?" I asked.

"Yes. Whether it is broken or not is another matter, however."

I nodded, trying to get a handle on my emotions. Succeeding, even if only a little bit, I summarized: "So… we go to the big glowy-glowy thing, right?" At Mikael's nod, I continued. "Right, we go there, fight the Pontifex until we destroy the phylactery, and finally, we run like hell outta here and go home. I get all that?"

"That is the gist of it, yes." Mikael confirmed. "I shall help you, of course. This is as much my fight as it is yours."

"It will take some time to get to the… What did you call it? 'Glowy-glowy thing'?" Miriel asked, using finger quotations. "

"Indeed, if we move as a group, which I assume you want." Mikael motioned to the door. "I will return in an hour. Take that time to get your men ready. They will all need to be prepared for the battle ahead."

"Yeah, yeah, think it goes without saying that we'll help you, so whatever, I guess." I turned to the door. "Miriel, stay here with him if you want. I'm gonna go check on the men and shit. Make sure we're all ready to kill that thing."

* * *

I'd grown to hate a great many things since coming to Khadein. The echoes of my footsteps in its unearthly halls, the white stone that made up everything, the cold, and pretty much everything else. Even then, I had to admit, there was one upside to it all. Something no amount of annoyances could take away from me.

I was not alone.

Vaike and I stood smack-dab in the center of the front room of the cathedral-thing. Ready to get moving at a moment's notice. The remains of our group were sitting around, repairing their weapons and armor, and trying to get as many injuries healed as they could.

"Alright, Vaike, give it to me straight." I began, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "How are the men? Our supplies?"

Vaike shrugged. "'Bout as good as it can get, considerin' all the crap we had to wade through, yeah? Reckon we brought 'nough Vulenaries to get a few men off their feet, but it ain't like it's gonna last forever."

"Goddamnit, I know!" I nearly snapped, stopping myself at the last moment. I was the one who asked, anyway. I adjusted a few fingers on my iron hand, a nervous tick I'd grown accustomed to throughout the months. Looking to the men gathered around the front room of the massive church/cathedral/whatever-the-hell-it-was, I turned to Vaike, my expression grim. "…Hey, Vaike, can I ask you something?"

"Whatever ya gotta say, Teach'll listen!" Vaike replied confidently, giving me a thumbs up. "Best gods' damn listener ya ever did see! Listen to all the problems in the world, I could!"

"I bet Sully'll do that to you." I agreed half-seriously, causing Vaike to sputter.

"The Vaike ain't gonna listen to ya if ya pull crap like that."

"Right, right, sorry." I waved my hand. "I just…" I wiped my forehead nervously. "I'm starting to think we should've just left like Sully said. Just try and brave the mountains instead of coming back here. You heard me when I was explaining all that shit with Mikael, right? This shit is fucking  _bonkers_ , Vaike. We all knew this was most likely a one-way trip, but… Fuck, man, I don't know what I'm trying to get at."

The expression on Vaike's face was difficult to place. "…Yer scared, aren't ya?"

"Hell, I'll say it, yeah. I'm scared as all fuck right now," I admitted with barely any hesitation. "I'm scared as fuck right now. Scared I'll never go back to Ylisstol. Scared I'll never get to talk to Robin again. Scared I won't… scared I won't get to see Cordy again."

"Uh huh, and ya know what Teach's gotta say to that, Alex?" Vaike replied, his arms folded.

"Lemme guess: you're gonna call me a pussy?"

"What? Why in the seven hells would the Vaike say that!?" He questioned loudly. "I'd say we went the right way to go 'bout it. Ain't like we can just let these dastards just run all over the place, killin' and eatin'. Don't know 'bout that Mikael guy, but if what ya told Teach is true, then he's our best chance at killin' that Pontifex and gettin' the hell outta this frozen pit and gettin' home! 'Sides, think Sully already said it but, these men'll follow you into the depths of this place and back, yeah?"

"Okay, everyone keeps saying that, but why?" I asked, genuinely confused. "All I did was shout a little and give out orders. Not like I did a lot."

"Ya came to 'em at their lowest and raised 'em back up. I'd call that pretty damn big," Vaike rebuked. "Ain't like Sully or I could do that, and Miriel… Damn, she'd just tell 'em we'd all probably die."

"And you don't think we are?"

"If ya think we are, then yer hidin' it a lot better than Teach gave ya credit for." Vaike smirked. "And Teach gives a lotta folks credit. Yer still movin' on even though yer scared outta yer pantaloons that we'll kick the bucket. And these men'll follow you all the while. Can't ask for much more than that, yeah?"

I mulled over Vaike's words for a moment. He had something of a point, at least. Besides, we'd come so far already. And then we had confirmation that the Pontifex is indeed killable, and what it/her greatest weakness is.

_You have a better chance now than you did earlier, boy scout. Best not let it go to waste by getting cold feet._

I shook my head, forcing a smirk on my lips. "Heh. I guess you're right."

"Of course Teach is!" Vaike replied proudly. "The Vaike ain't never wrong! Not when he saw ya moonin' over Cordelia, or when-!"

"Hey Vaike," I interrupted, pointing behind him. "Is that Sully behind you? Why's she wearing nothing but her small clothes-!"

Vaike turned around then, and when he swiveled back on his heels, his face red with righteous anger, I could only laugh.

* * *

After a while longer, we gathered around the large door to the streets of Khadein. The men were as ready as they were ever going to get; most of the major wounds had been healed with the help of Vulenaries and the use of a few staves. I gripped the mace in hand, ready to smash anything that came through.

The doors were going to be opened in just a few minutes, after all, and who knew how many draconians would come flooding through it? I'd face them head on, no matter what. It was more comforting and straightforward that way.

"Think Miriel and that scaly dastard are still talkin' 'bout shit?" Vaike asked next to me.

"If they are, I'm gonna go up there and kick their sorry asses into gear." Sully grunted, hefting an axe. "Already wasted so much gods' damn time just layin' here. The Pontifex ain't just gonna up and kill itself."

"It'd make things a whole lot easier, though. Wouldn't it?" I remarked, scratching my chin and raising a brow as I felt a decent amount of facial hair. "…Fuck it, I'm gonna-"

They appeared before I could even complete my sentence, walking down the stairs nearby as if everything was right in the world. Miriel was practically glowing. Her expression was the same as always, but she seemed… happier, somehow. I couldn't quite describe it. Mikael was still a dragon-man, so he looked exactly the same as before.

"I trust your men are prepared, Sir Alex?" Mikael asked.

I tilted my head as I heard Sully chuckle. "'Sir Alex'? The hell did that come from?"

"You are a Knight, are you not?" He rumbled a reply. "Miss Miriel has told me much about you all. I thought it appropriate I address you by your title."

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. "I mean, yeah, go ahead. Just wasn't prepared for it is all. Anyway, we got more important things to worry about!" I pointed my thumb back towards the doors. "What's stopping those assholes out there from just barging in?"

"I erected a Ward." Mikael supplied, holding up a staff. I recognized it; the same staff that was in the corner of the room when we first arrived. "As soon as you and your group arrived, I created it. The moment you open those doors, however, it will fall, and the draconians will try to get in. We will need to move quickly if we are to make it to Garland's Chambers."

"I could ask more, but I wanna get this over with." I sighed, wiping my forehead before readying myself. "Alright, everyone! We're getting those doors open! Anything that comes through, you turn it to ash! Once the area is cleared, we move out!"

The men seemed a bit unsettled at Mikael's words, but nonetheless followed my orders. The mages gathered behind us, tomes in one hand and fire flickering brightly in the other. Miriel stood next to Sully.

"Learn something?" I asked her.

"More than you could imagine." Miriel replied.

I shrugged, waiting for the doors to open.

Two men pulled it open, and the creaking set me on edge. I clenched my teeth in anticipation. Despite us being underground, I swore I felt a chill wind brush past me as the abyss yawned before us. It was almost completely blackout there, with the only light coming from our little foothold.

That's when a scream echoed through the whole of Khadein, one I was all too familiar with. It was far, if the echo was anything to go by, but it was reachable. I knew that now. The next thing any of us knew, the draconians outside surged forward like a flood. All I could see was black, shiny scale and pale eyes as they pushed into our position.

" _Fire!_ " I shouted, spittle spraying from my mouth as I momentarily panicked.

The mages obeyed.

Fire flew forward, catching on of the monsters right through the chest. It fell to the ground in a shiny heap, smoke trailing out of the hole in its chest and mouth. Several of its fellows followed, being burned alive as we rained magical flame on them. The smell of burnt meat hung thickly in the air. Once the first wave was gone, I motioned my right hand forward.

"Go, go, go!" I ordered, following my own command as I charged, slamming my mace into the face of an unsuspecting draconian. It was a bit easier using a mace than before, but I still doubted if I was facing literally anything else that I'd be very effective. The draconian's head swiveled to the side from the blow, blackish-red blood flying from its mouth as I struck again, this time aiming for its chest. Shattered scales fell to the floor as we continued.

We had somewhere we needed to be, and I'd've been damned if I didn't make good on my promise.

* * *

Khadein was a nightmare. But then again, what else was new?

I didn't know how many draconians we'd cut through, flamed through, whatever. They were way too hardy to be killed by a single person with a mace, but that was okay; I didn't need to kill them myself. The mages were the real fighters. Me and my friends and the rest of the group were able to hold them off while they flamed them from afar. And with Mikael's help, we'd only lost one man whereas before we'd lost over ten.

Only I knew, and probably everyone else did as well, that we couldn't keep going forever. The mages' power was great, but it wasn't infinite. Eventually, they'd run out of juice, or whatever the hell they used to power their spells.

"How much farther to the Pontifex!?" I shouted over the carnage, hoping Mikael would answer me.

"Ahead!" He rumbled loudly back. "Not much farther! Once we arrive I will cast another Ward!"

_God, please, don't let him be leading us into a trap._

That traitorous thought did not help my mood, but I couldn't discount the possibility. I didn't like thinking about it. I made a mental note to myself that if he  _was_ leading us into a trap, that I'd do everything within my power to avenge everyone.

It was the least I could do.

I looked ahead like Mikael said, and my eyes widened momentarily, and my heart jumped into my throat.

It stood over most of the other structures within the buried city. Only the other towers were as tall is it was, but none of them were as wide. A white stone tower, just like the rest, yet more regal in design, with a crap ton of details dotted on its surface. Only way I was able to tell all that detail was because of the small glow that emanated from it, the same one we saw from afar. I cursed myself; if only we'd gone down that one, we'd've saved a shit ton of time and lives.

Saving the self-deprecation for later, I slammed my mace into a draconian's arm, hearing the splintering of scale and cracking of bone as it screeched. Not letting it recover, I swung upwards, sending it sprawling to the ground as my mace crashed into its jaw. Its screams were absolutely horrific; it was like someone hadn't cut their nails in years and then thought it was a brilliant idea to wear them down on the world's roughest chalkboard.

We continued to push forward. I looked to my right to see Sully gouging a chunk out of a draconian's chest with her axe, only for its head to get shot off by a blast of fire. To my left I saw Vaike nearly chop off a draconian's arm.

Before long, we were at an archway, which lead down to a door.

"Everyone c'mon, c'mon! Let's go,  _c'mon!_ " I snarled, tapping several men on the back as they ran forward towards the door. One nearly got caught by a draconian lurking in the shadows, but an effective, if sloppy stroke of my mace saved him.

If I could help it, no one else was going to die on this God-forsaken quest.

I ducked as several fireballs flew over my head. Nearly falling to the ground, I crawled over as several of the men, plus Mikael, pulled the door open. The door groaned as it opened, like a dead man brought back to life. Not waiting to look inside, I ushered the men in as the abominations were held at bay. Chokepoints were useful like that.

Before any of the draconians could get in, the doors slammed back shut. I laid there, panting with my back against the door.

_And despite all the odds, you made it. One last thing to do._

I forced myself back up, looking from side to side until I found Sully. She had a few cuts and nicks but nothing too serious.

"Sully." I called, walking up to her. "How many did we lose?"

"Hell, why don'tcha go count 'em instead of comin' to me!" She exclaimed, hissing a little as she pressed her hand to her shoulder. "…Three, I think. We still got over twenty men, though."

I nodded. That was good. Better than I was expecting. That meant we still had twenty-one soldiers. Twenty-one, including us. In a little while, we'd have to go up against the mother of all monsters.

I chuckled airily, and Sully looked at me like I'd lost my mind. I waved my hand. "Nah, don't mind me, I think… Shit, I don't know what to think right now."

"How 'bout how we're gonna get to that phylactery-whatsit." She replied, brows furrowed. "Ain't like we gotta lotta stuff left to do."

"Well, yeah," I replied, nearly slamming my mace into my face when I tried to adjust a few fingers on my iron hand. "Fuck, where's Mikael?"

Sully pointed to just behind me. "Over there, standing all brooding-like. Kinda reminds me of you when you first joined up."

I held my arms out to my sides. "And look at me now."

Sully openly laughed. "Ha! Yeah, look at ya now. Leadin' a merry band of suicidal nitwits into the depths of hell. Don't know if your lil' speeches were what got 'em so fired up that we'd all survive down here, but maybe it helped. Anyway," She interrupted herself. "Go talk to 'em. Thinking we're gonna get movin' here in a sec and get this shit over with."

"Fuck, I hope so. I wanna go home."

"You and me both!" Sully replied.

I ordered us to move forward before I talked with Mikael for what might've been the last time. A few moans from some of the men, but nothing serious; we all knew that the end was upon us. Whether or not it was in our favor remained to be seen. Mikael stayed towards the back of our group, among the mages. Every once in a while I'd see Miriel talk to him, but it was probably nothing compared to the conversation the two had back in the large church. Once we'd made decent headway into the giant tower, I slowed down until I was right next to Mikael.

"Sir Alex," Mikael greeted, barely turning to look at me. "I assume you have questions?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do," I grumbled. "Just one question, though. The phylactery. Is it the only way to kill the Pontifex?"

"As far as I have surmised? Yes," He replied. "Her body can be damaged, surely. Miriel has told me of an encounter you had with Garland, where you rammed that torch into her eye. Her body suffers from the same weakness as the other draconians, though the only way to truly 'kill' her is to destroy the phylactery."

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "It's not immune to damage, is it? I swear to God, if I hit it with my mace and it just bounces off-!"

"Worry not, Sir Alex," Mikael assuaged. "The Phylactery is a glass tube, filled with the mixture Garland used in her experiment. We will be near the main chamber soon. Once we are there, I will show you."

I paused, dread clawing its way through my chest like the darkness of Khadein. "It'll be there, won't it?" I asked rhetorically. "The Pontifex. It won't just let us get to the phylactery easily. It'll be there and it'll do everything in its power to keep us from getting to it."

Mikael nodded grimly, looking me in the eye for the first time since I started speaking to him. "Most likely. I would refrain from walking down that path, however. You will need full confidence that you can do it."

"The Pontifex is a giant, eldritch monster that made me see shit. I'm keeping it together in front of the men but I swear to God I'm about to fucking lose my shit," I whispered harshly, praying that nobody heard me. "I am not just going to run away, though. There's nowhere to run. And I made a promise. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let that scaly asshole out of this place alive." I looked up, my eyes focusing on Mikael. "Would the Pontifex try to get out? Invade?"

"She might. She is devious, you understand. She was so even before her transformation." Mikael slowed down a bit like something was weighing on his shoulders. "No. She would have, no question. I do not claim to know her mind, but I believe that is her goal. She must have brought you here as a test…"

My face was set into a frown. "Then she got more than she bargained for. 'Cause now she's got us literally walking in her house." I looked back up to Mikael. "If what you said is true, then I have no regrets. She'd've been a danger even if we'd never come here."

No matter how often I expressed it to Sully or Vaike or Miriel, I always felt that fear, that dark, primal fear, swirling in my head like a vortex. Now that I had confirmation, though, that we didn't delve deep in the depths of Khadein chasing something that would've left well enough alone if we hadn't come along. We probably would have survived whatever the Pontifex was planning, but it would have exhausted Robin's building military, and would've left us wide open for Valm. I wouldn't let that happen. I wouldn't let it all be for nothing.

_There's still someone you haven't met. Someone who will complete your new life._

"A healthy outlook if nothing else," Mikael commented, before looking down at his feet. "You have my eternal gratitude for what you and yours are going to do here, Alexander. If I die when the phylactery is destroyed, at least know that much."

The way he said that sounded so resigned. Like he'd already made peace with everything. I felt a lump growing in my throat at the thought of it.

I pursed my lips before moving ahead of him. "For what it's worth, Mikael, thank you."

* * *

If Khadein could be described as ornate, then the Pontifex's Tower was that times a thousand.

An exaggeration, mostly, but I had to admit, the statues were getting a little obnoxious. Writing was along with walls, carved into them with a chisel instead of a nail-like before. Beyond that? It was the same white stone as everywhere else. In other words,  _monotonous._

We didn't come upon any resistance as we marched forward. Not a single draconian or anything else that could be lurking in the suffocating darkness. Just us, and the sound of our feet beating against the ground. It was maddening, just like everything else.

"There." Mikael said, pointing towards a large set of doors in front of us. "Finally, we have found it!"

"Thanks for pointing it out to us, Captain Obvious…" I muttered to myself. I stepped forward, pressing my hand to the cold, non-decayed wood. Turning around, I regarded the men. "This is it, guys. Just through here is the Pontifex, and the thing we need to destroy to kill it. I don't gotta lot to say, really. No big speech here. Let's just go in there and get this shit over with. By this time next month we'll be sipping warm tea out of porcelain cups like gentlemen!"

A small cheer from the Ylisseans in the group. The Feroxi looked less than impressed, but it was good enough for me.

I helped pull at the doors, forcing them to open. It almost felt like the whole world was shaking as they screeched on their hinges. Once they were open, we took a look inside.

It was obvious that it was the nexus of the tower, maybe even Khadein itself. A purple light emanated from the middle, bathing the room in its luminescence. The room was circular, with furniture lining it in various places, like a bed and several tables and chairs. It was strangely laid out, too, like they were simply placed somewhere and left to rot. Or not rot. In the middle, past the purple light, I could make out the dim outline of another table, with various tools and instruments on it. The light itself, I guessed, came from the small glass cylinder standing right in plain view.

"That is the phylactery." Mikael identified. "Perhaps if we were to use a fire spell from this range…?"

Before he could finish his sentence, there was a shriek. So loud I nearly felt my eardrums pop. I heard Sully groan behind me as she covered her ears. Vaike looked completely on alert. Miriel readied her spell, fire growing in the palm of her hand.

I looked up just in time to see something fall from the ceiling, slamming on the ground just in front of us.

" **Meddlers came here. None of them pacified. Mikael among them. Old friend. Betrayal. Betrayal!** " The Pontifex raised its head high, looking down on us. One of its eyes was the same black as before, but the other was scarred and white. The Pontifex itself was bigger. Felt that way, at least." **Transmogrification no longer an option. Most eliminate rogue elements. Restart. Send forces further north in search of more subjects. Pacification process needs adjusting. Persuade, not hurt.** "

"Gods, but it's an ugly dastard!" Sully shouted. "The hell are we standin' here for!? We gotta get behind that thing!"

"R-Right!" I said, shaking my head and getting my bearings. "Everyone, protect the mages! Circle around it and whittle at it until we can get behind it!"

The Pontifex spread its arms wide, a shrill shriek surging out of its mouth. It was easily over fifteen feet tall, and its arms spread longer than that. " **Unacceptable. Rogue elements wish to destroy phylactery. Protect phylactery at all costs. Kill rogue elements. CRUSH THEM!** "

" _Fire!_ " I screamed, readying my mace.

Before we could even move to circle around the Pontifex, it had charged towards us with speed I could barely imagine. Once the first fireballs were out, it was already upon us. The fire tore into its black hide, leaving scorch marks and exposed flesh, but not doing nearly as much damage as I expected. The Pontifex screamed again, raising both of its arms and slamming down.

I expected to have several of the men flattened right before my very eyes. However, the sound of rock and people being pulverized did not come. Instead, the Pontifex's fists bounced off of thin air, like something was blocking it. Looking behind me, I saw Mikael holding his staff in the air.

 _Ward._   _This is our chance._

"Everyone, get moving!" I shouted. "Get around the bastard and fry it to death!"

It was only supposed to work as a distraction to get to the phylactery, but I had to admit I took a certain satisfaction in watching the raging Pontifex get pounded by flames. It screeched and screamed, banging its hands against any Wards Mikael put up. Sully, Vaike, and I circled around the Pontifex, allowing the rest of the men to distract it while we went.

That all ended when the Pontifex slammed its hands against the ground.

The stonework cracked all around us as the shockwave knocked us off balance. I nearly fell to the ground but was able to hoist myself up. The sound of my iron hand scraping against the ground made me cringe.

Another scream, but this time from one of the men. I turned around.

The Pontifex made Mikael stumble, breaking his concentration and allowing it to get to a few people. It held one in its hand, slowly crushing him. The sound of his armor and body being squished together was soul-rending, like listening to myself crush a soda can between my fingers back home. The Pontifex threw him before picking up another one, bringing him up to its mouth. It chomped down on the poor soldier, eating him alive.

I looked away; we needed to get to the phylactery.

Didn't get very far before I was nearly slapped to kingdom come. I fell to the floor as a massive arm swung above me. Backing away from the Pontifex, and farther away from the phylactery, I cursed viciously to myself. Vaike and Sully apparently didn't get very far either, if the phylactery wasn't destroyed yet.

_Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead._

The light from Mikael's staff glowed again, and the Pontifex found itself unable to hurt us again. Most of us. Instead of trying to smash us, it tried to grab us. Succeeded a few times; it grabbed at least two more men and threw them into its toothy maw.

Beyond that, it couldn't do much. It stomped around, like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

"Gods' damn it all! If this ain't the hardest fight of my life!" I heard Vaike holler, coming up next to me.

For now, that was true. I knew that. There'd be other battles beyond this one.

"Guess we'll have a nice story then, huh? Finally one-upped Chrom!"

"Hell yeah!" Vaike fist-bumped, motioning for us to run for the phylactery. "Let's do that after we win, yeah!?"

I grunted in agreement. That was all that mattered, really; getting to the phylactery.

Before we could even do that, though, the Pontifex screeched again. Fireballs pummeled it from almost every side, it's body was scorched and broken, despite how many of us it'd killed. Still, it wasn't dead yet. And it made that known.

" **Unacceptable conditions! Rogue elements have damaged its body. Last effort. Pacification process for all. For all. Will drain magical stores. Inconsequential; magical stores will regenerate. Focus on protecting phylactery.** "

I knew what that meant. I turned to Vaike wide-eyed. "Go, go!  _Fucking go!_ "

We tried running, but the Pontifex didn't wait around. It's arms immediately slammed into the ground again, only this time an unearthly purple light swelled from the impact. Stone fragments blew past us as I fell to the ground.

The last thing I saw was the purple light engulfing me.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I saw blinding sunlight in what felt like the first time in an eternity. I groaned, picking myself off the ground. I felt blades of grass between my fingers before I stood up.

_Another one of the Pontifex's visions. Wake up. If what it said was true, then it might be too weak to stop you._

My mace wasn't in my hand anymore, but I could probably still strike my hand out of the vision. Hopefully it wasn't one of the more violent ones. My heart curled in my chest, making it hard to breath.

I had to calm down. Just like the time's before it, I knew it was just a vision. A dream. Nothing that happened would be real-

"Ah, Alex! There you are!" A familiar, melodic voice rose to my ears, making my heart stop. "Resting on the ground again? You and Robin grow more similar by the day."

I turned around slowly, my gaze meeting red eyes and long red hair.

"C-Cordy." I stammered out.

Her face became marred with concern as she walked up to me. "Are you feeling okay? You seem a bit… flushed."

She was wearing the same dress she did on our date. And, if I wasn't mistake, I saw a gold ring around her ring finger. She placed her palm against my forehead.

"Hmm. No fever. Either way, we should be getting back." She hummed. "It'll be night soon, and you know how Severa gets when her dad doesn't read her a story."

_God, I wish this was real._

I nodded. "Yeah, alright. Just, uh, one thing, Cordy."

"What is it, love?" Cordelia asked, folding her arms behind her.

Her saying that didn't make what I was about to do any easier. "…I know this isn't real."

Cordelia tilted her head to the side in complete confusion. "What are you talking about? Maybe you really  _do_ have a fever…"

"No, I don't, but…" I mulled over my words, trying to find the perfect way to say what I wanted. "This isn't real. I'm still fighting the Pontifex with everyone else. It used some of its magic or some shit like that and put me here. When I wake up, I'm gonna destroy the phylactery and then we're all gonna run like hell. But, when I get back, I promise you: someday, I'm gonna make this vision a reality." I sniffled. "It's… all I could want, from what you've told me. So if nothing else, thank you for giving me this, if only for a few seconds."

Before she could say another word, I embraced her.

* * *

My eyes shot open, a lingering feeling of warmth the only reminder of what I'd just witnessed.

It turned over quietly onto my side, trying to find everyone. Vaike was next to me, face first to the ground. I winced at that one. I hadn't seen Sully for a while, but luckily I spotted her just a small ways away from where we were, on the opposite side of the Pontifex. The only ones I couldn't find were Mikael and Miriel, and I didn't expect to; they were all the way towards the back, with the other mages. Probably a part of the pile I could see.

The only reason I could see all of this was because the Pontifex's body was glowing a luminescent purple, and it only grew more intense in the areas it had been injured.

Speaking of the Pontifex, it was right where it was when it slammed its arms into the ground. It was on its hands and knees, breathing hard; I could hear it from all the way where I was. It was like a broken ventilator, complete with what sounded like rattling metal components. It looked like it was staring at me with one eye, the same eye I jabbed a torch into.

 _…Maybe_ …

I brought myself up as quietly as I could, resisting the urge to cringe every time I heard my armor jostle. At some point, I said 'screw it' and just started going as fast as I could. The Pontifex may not have seen me, but it heard me well enough, and it let out a rasping croak from its mouth before turning in my direction. Its single working black eye seemingly focused on me, and it tried to swat at me like a fly.

It was too late, though. By the time it got its bearings, I was already at the phylactery.

_Thank fuck I got the bastard in the eye!_

The purple light felt like it was burning holes into my retinas, so I didn't waste time.

A weak scream came from the Pontifex. " **Insolent creature. It does not understand what it is doing. Poor soldier. ANNOYING GNAT!** "

"Oh, am I?" I shouted back, finally within striking distance of the phylactery. "Well, fuck you too!"

I swung down, the sound of glass breaking and liquid splashing against the cracking wood and stone rang like music in my ears.

It was silent as the grave, like the air had been drained completely, leaving nothing but an empty vacuum. The light from the phylactery vanished.

Everyone began to stir as the Pontifex stood dumbly rooted in place. Sully was nearby, clutching her axe before finding me. Vaike stood up almost immediately, and Miriel and Mikael, along with the rest of the mages towards the back, rose from the ground like vampires. The rest of the men followed shortly thereafter.

I looked around confusedly. "Is… Is something supposed to happen-?"

Light burst out of the Pontifex. A sound like ice cracking rang through the room as the Pontifex shrieked one final time. The whole of Khadein began to shake like it was having a seizure, knocking loose stones off the walls and tumbling to the floor, turning into white powder.

_I guess Mikael and Miriel were right._

Ignoring the screaming and falling apart Pontifex, I ran to my men and helped some of them up. Anyone who'd already awoken contributed, and soon enough, we began our escape.

* * *

_It's all tumbling down._

Stone fell from the ceiling, smashing into grey piles of rock as we neared one of the towers to the surface. I called from the back, ushering our remaining soldiers on. One of them was crushed by a rock as we made our getaway. Poor bastard didn't even have a chance to say anything. Despite the losses, we pressed on.

Entering the slowly crumbling doorway, we began climbing up. It was almost like the stone itself was exploding; pulverized rock nearly made me go blind several times as we ran upwards.

I didn't have time to count our group, or tell whether Vaike, Miriel, Sully, or Mikael were with us.

Selfishly, I thought that if I got out alive, at least, I'd get to see Cordelia again.

Luckily, the world outside was revealed to us. We weren't in the same tower that we came in through, but it was one of the few the draconians burst through when they attacked our camp. I breathed a sigh of relief as I could hear the crunch of ice and snow beneath my boots.

"…Hah, did we…?" I heard Sully say next to me. "Did we do it? We got out alive?"

"'Less Teach is seein' things, I think so, yeah." Vaike replied, getting the sentence out between pants.

"It appears our hypothesis… was correct…" Miriel breathed out.

I didn't hear Mikael speak. I looked around curiously before hearing someone next to me.

"Are you searching for me, Sir Alex?" The dragon-man rumbled.

For an instant, that sounded more sinister than it actually was. Like it would be the last thing I heard before I sword was poking out of my chest. Nothing came, however, and I turned to the dragon-man.

"Er… looks like you're still alive." I observed.

"Indeed, however, we can speak later. I believe we need to fly from this place; the tower is going to collapse."

My eyes widened as I looked up to see a crack forming in the white stone. I turned to the rest of the men, who were on the ground still trying to catch their breath.

_One last run, boy scout!_

"Everyone, let's go! Back to the camp!" I ordered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank. The. Lord. This fucking arc is finally over. And now I get to go back to writing good stuff. I didn't exactly have the best time writing this, although I hope that didn't bleed into the writing itself.
> 
> Anyway, the next chapter is nearing completion as I write this. Hopefully it'll be better than this fustercluck.
> 
> It's probably not nearly as bad as I'm making it out to be, but eh. Doesn't change the fact that it's finally all over.
> 
> Anyway, here's a link to our Discord server: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> See you all next week!


	28. Telepathic

_Game over._

Those were the words that went through my mind as I stared at the quickly crumbling towers of Khadein. I watched as each tower cracked and fell apart, falling to the ground and blasting white dust and stone everywhere, breaking the permafrost that surrounded it. The grey sky shined down on the ruins, almost like the world itself was saying a final farewell.

The remains of our camp were far enough away that we weren't really affected by the destruction. We did get our fair share of powdery dust though, and we had to cut off parts of our clothes to use as filters just so our lungs didn't get filled up with the stuff. I thanked whatever gods were listening that we had decided to set up camp a fair distance away from the ruins proper. If we didn't we'd've probably lost almost everything, and then we'd have been truly  _fucked_.

As it stood now, because of the…  _losses_ we suffered, we had enough food to last a month, if we properly rationed. Didn't need to worry about storing it, considering the cold. It was just a matter of staying alive until Ricken and Nowi's warnings got us the help we needed.

_If we ever get it, boy scout._

I shook that traitorous thought away; it wouldn't help. I had to believe that they'd made it through the mountains. If not for mine, then for their sakes.

"I did not realize the destruction of my old home would be so entertaining for you, Sir Alexander." A familiar, rumbling voice said behind me. I turned around to see the tall, hooded figure of Mikael, still alive even after the death of the Pontifex.

"…Mikael." I murmured in greeting, looking back to the towers. "What else am I supposed to do? Not like there's much to talk about until help gets here. Without the Pontifex's monsters lurking in the dark, we don't have much to worry about."

"Indeed," Mikael replied, the crunching of permafrost beneath his feet signaling his moving closer. "And I am glad for it. The intelligent one – Miriel was her name, correct? – has sworn to inform the populace of what has happened here." I could almost hear the smile in his voice. "We have conversed much. I am glad my old friends will be remembered, in some capacity. From what she has told me, Khadein was little more than a legend before you arrived."

I snorted. "Calling it a legend gives it too much clout. More like a fucking myth, really." I sighed, turning to meet Mikael's eyes. "I'm just gonna come out with it right here and now, Mikael. What're you gonna do now? Obviously killing the Pontifex hasn't killed you."

"That it has not," Mikael said quietly. "I have several theories as to why that is. Was it my proximity to Garland before I transformed? Was it the magic I wielded to ensure she did not escape for centuries? Nonetheless, I am here now. As to what I intend to do…"

He became silent. I patiently waited for him to answer, a gentle wind blowing across my skin. Made me shiver.

"I wish to explore this world. For the time being." He reached a black, scaly hand to his dragon-like face, swiping it down his muzzle. "It is so strange, being among people again. I am unsure how much time I will be granted, in this form, but I intend to make the most of it. Truly, it is almost like I have been transported to an entirely different world."

I chuckled, a bitter smile making its way to my face. "Hell, you're not alone in feeling that."

Mikael tilted his head to the side, questioningly. It was hard to read his expressions, if he had them at all, but I could tell that much, at least.

I waved my hand. "Don't worry about it, man. Long story." I coughed into my fist. "Er, anyway, that's great and all. Don't think you'll have a lot of problems getting past the mountains; Ransom didn't. Glad you didn't turn out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing or however that phrase goes."

"One more topic I wish to discuss with you, Alex." Mikael rumbled, stopping me. My brows furrowed as he did a small bow. "Know that I will not forget what you have done for me and my old friends on this day. One day, I will repay you and yours. It is the least I can do for the service you have done us."

I blinked before looking away. Rubbing the back of my neck, I replied: "Uh, yeah, sure, man. No problem. This isn't like a… blood oath or some shit, right?"

Mikael raised his head and looked at me as if he had a quizzical expression on his face. Hard to tell, again, because of all the scales. "I believe I am not familiar with that term. Is it perhaps a 'Feroxi' tradition? Miriel has told me much of their warrior-like culture. Not so different from the brigands that used to roam the north during the Archanean Empire."

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Probably. Just, uh, don't call Feroxi 'brigands'. They don't like it."

Mikael nodded. "I will take that into account on my travels."

"…Yeah, alright," I fought the urge to clap my hands. Kinda hard to do that with the iron hand. "I guess I'll see around. Hope you do well out there, Mikael."

"And you as well, Alexander. May the Divine Dragons bless you." Mikael said, a note of finality to his voice.

As I walked back to camp, I went over the conversation I just had in my head. I hadn't known Mikael for very long, and to be honest the way he looked scared me. Just a bit. Of course, I could look past that, but still. I sort of wished I got to know him better. Poke his mind a bit. That sort of thing.

I let out a breath, the mist that left my mouth clouding my vision monetarily. And just when I forgot how much I hated the cold too. My mind drifted back to Ylisstol; staying in a warm bed, among friends.

A small smile fell upon my features as a certain Pegasus Knight came to mind, too.

_I'm coming home, everyone._

* * *

_It was a battlefield. Red with the blood of hundreds, possibly even thousands, it yawned in front of me, stretching as far as the eye could see. It was a familiar scene, one I'd been through several times already. The scarred and twisted landscape made sure I would never forget._

_A sword was in my hand, and it weighed a ton. I didn't know how many I'd killed with it; hundreds, maybe? Thousands? I doubted it was thousands, but that didn't make it better. It was still loss. The loss of life. Life that I cut away like a lumberjack._

_My plate armor clanked against the ground as I ran another man through, blood spilling out of his mouth as he fell to the ground, staining it like so many others before him. My armor felt like it was pushing against me, crushing me. I wouldn't be able to get it off. Nothing would. I'd always wear it; it was what kept me safe. Kept me secure. Without it, I was open. It'd allow the people and monsters outside in, allow them to tear away at me until I was nothing but scraps._

They taught you how to put that armor on and how to swing a sword, boy scout, but they didn't teach you how to take the armor off or put the sword down.

_I knew that voice. Rough, like sandpaper across my face. Strangely, it sounded like my own, but different. Older, more scratchy, like he was parched._

_I knew who it was, and yet I still swiveled on my heel to face him. A face like my own, bright blue eyes that I'd sometimes find staring off into nothing. A humorless face, with a completely bald head._

_It was my dad._

_He wore his old army uniform, not even blending into the environment. A gun, something I hadn't seen in what felt like centuries, held in one hand and his helmet in the other. He stared at me, although I couldn't tell what he was thinking. If he even thought. My heart went like a jackhammer in my chest, and I felt nausea creeping up on me, travelling up my stomach and into my chest._

You always said you wouldn't be like me,  _my dad seemed to say._ And yet where are you now? Face it, boy scout, you're just like me.

_I didn't want to believe it. Couldn't believe it. But a small, niggling part of me questioned if it was. What was the difference? I joined an army, he joined an army. We both fought because we couldn't really do anything else._

_I didn't want to be him, but I was. By God, I was._

* * *

I suppressed the urge to scream as I was rocketed back to conscious. Looking around violently, like someone or something was there, I knocked my makeshift sheets off my body. I stood up, trying to get my heart under control. It was wrong. All wrong. I should've been asleep. Why wasn't I asleep-?

"Oh," I croaked out, scratching my stubble. "Oh… fuck off," I grumbled, getting my head under control.

I hadn't been sleeping well, if that wasn't obvious. Every day we spent in that goddamned hellhole was punctuated by sleepless nights. I could almost feel the bags weighing my eyelids down.

We'd been there for a while too; almost two weeks, if I was counting the days correctly. I didn't trust my head, though. Not since it appeared to be my greatest enemy. My fucking nemesis.

Trying not to disturb anyone, I pulled some warm clothes together and quietly tiptoed out of the barely held together tent. Wasn't alone, after all. The rest of the men certainly didn't have many places to go. Once outside, I looked up to the sky. It was clear for the first time in what felt like years. Azure horizons all the way around, only interrupted by the mountains that surrounded us. The light of dawn trickled in from the peaks nearby, casting the land around us in daylight.

It felt good to feel sunlight on my skin again, but I decided to make my rounds. Just a small walk to get myself back in my usual mindset.

In the distance, I could see the collapsed remains of what used to be Khadein, and my mind drifted.

Mikael had left. I didn't know when and I didn't know how, but he left. I knew he would, and I had to explain to the others what he told me. Miriel seemed a bit saddened by this. Could swear her hat drooped at the news. She got over it quickly, though, and as far as I knew she'd already begun writing.

That brought a few things to mind, such as Robin. What the fuck was I supposed to tell him? It would be hard enough to tell him everything in person, let alone in writing. Nonetheless, I knew he'd want a report. He wasn't a heartless bastard, so I knew I probably had a day at least when we got back to Ylisstol. I was hoping to spend that time with Cordelia. Idly, I hoped she was doing alright.

_Who're you kidding? She's probably doing just fine without you. Her life doesn't revolve around you._

I knew that. Still, the feeling and sentiment were there.

After a while wandering our camp, waiting for the others to wake up for another day of fuck all, I heard something. For a second, it sounded like a helicopter. Of course, helicopters didn't exist in Ylisse, so it obviously wasn't that. The more I listened to it, though, the more I began to recognize it as something else.

It was the beating of wings.

I searched the sky wildly like a madman, trying to find something, anything that was making that noise. It wasn't long before I saw them. Griffins and Pegasi circling around our little ruined camp. I remembered I used to think Pegasi were some creepy-looking bastards, but in that moment I came to a different conclusion; they were the most beautiful entities in existence. Griffins were cool too.

Running to the tent we all used as a communal sleeping area, I resisted the urge to flail my arms around and scream in joy. I had to keep up appearance, even now. At least, that's what I believed. The men remaining, even the Shepherds, had looked to me for leadership, during Khadein and after. I'd be damned if I let that little façade go down the drain because I couldn't contain myself.

Even then, it was a hard urge to resist.

I forced the tent flaps open and projected my voice: "Up and at 'em, sleepyheads! Looks like we got ourselves a rescue party at our frozen doorstep! C'mon, on your feet! Don't wanna make them think we're dead, huh?"

Slowly, the men and Shepherds woke up, groggily grumbling at my booming voice. Vaike was the first to call me out for it. "Think ya can shout a lil' louder, Alex? Don't think the dead heard that one."

"Sure you want me to do that, Vaike?" I replied, a smirk appearing on my face. "Trust me, even with my dry as fuck voice, I can shout much louder than this!"

"Gods, both of you… I just wanna… Can I just-!" It almost seemed like Sully was  _fighting_ her way awake. She sat up, glaring at me. "Swear to Naga if you're bullshitting me, I'll shove your head up your own ass!"

That was a disturbing image. It didn't really drop my mood any, but it was a thought. A horrible thought.

"Impossible," Miriel drearily replied, her usually straight dark red hair unkempt and tangled. "The human cranium is much too large to fit up a person's rectum. Not without considerable damage to either body part."

"Oh, I'll damage him  _plenty._ " Sully grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"…Seriously, guys." I nearly began crying from the fucking images. "There's people outside. In the sky, but they're outside. Get your butts up and let's get the hell out of here!"

There were only fifteen of us, so it didn't take long for everybody to make themselves look somewhat presentable. Within a few minutes, we were all outside in the blistering cold. I wanted nothing more than for the flyers nearby to take us away from that accursed hellpit, but I knew I couldn't just do that. Well, I could've, but that would've been frowned upon, so I decided against it.

The first of the flyers, a Griffin Rider with a cloaked passenger, landed just a few feet from us. The creature huffed as the Rider pat it on the head. The passenger leaped off, armor underneath the coat they wore clinking with every step.

I almost couldn't recognize him; it felt like it'd been years since I last saw him.

_Robin._

"Sir Alexander," He greeted, a smile on his face. "It is good to see you again. I-" He looked behind me, to the disintegrated ruins of Khadein, and that smile dropped. "…I received your letter and Ricken's warning, and yet I am still surprised."

I let out a dry chuckle. "Shit, you and me both." My expression became more serious as I approached him. "Listen, we can, uh, talk while we're here, but if it's alright with you, do you think we could skip to the part where we get the hell out of here? These men and I have been here for… God, how long's it been?"

"A little over a month; it is December now." Robin helpfully informed me.

"Christ…" I grumbled, rubbing my forehead. "Alright, yeah, I have no problem telling you everything, but we need to get out of here. Nice fire and warm drinks and all that nice shit. Ain't that right men?"

Resounding cheer from the few that were left.

"I see you have been made the de facto leader," Robin observed. "And there are… considerably less of you than before. I… suppose you will speak to me about that once we are away?"

I cringed a little. "Yeah, yeah, don't worry about that, er…" I leaned forward. "If it were just the other Shepherds and us right now, I would've broke out crying, but appearances and all that crap, right?"

Robin stifled a laugh. "Gods, yes. I am your Lord so it would be rather unbecoming, would it not? Not that I would have minded. I have been led to believe you have gone through a great deal." He coughed into his fist. "Anyways, yes, we will go over everything once we are safely away from this place. However, there is a, er,  _certain someone_  who demanded she be let on this rescue mission." He gave me a wry smirk. "I believe you know her? Tall, red hair?"

It almost felt like my heart stopped beating. I stared at Robin, wide-eyed. "…Y-You couldn't mean…!"

As we were talking, several other flyers landed, all around us. Like I'd said, several of them were Pegasi. No doubt they were some of the ones trained by Cordelia. Anyway, before I could even finish what I was going to say, Robin looked behind me as I heard hooves on the icy ground.

"Speaking of whom, look behind you. Do not worry about the men; I will be sure to keep them…  _distracted_." Robin finished, walking away from me as I turned around.

I saw her just as she was dismounting. She wore something a little different from the usual; fur-lined armor instead of leather, probably to keep out the cold. Instead of her usual skirt, she wore a mixture of a riding skirt and heavy pants, or whatever it was they were called. Her scarlet hair flowed behind her, complete with her wing hair accessories on either side of her head. Lastly, were those  _eyes._  Even from our distance, I could see the fire in them.

_Cordy._

My legs were moving before I even willed them to. It started slowly at first, but when I saw she was picking up speed, I followed suit.

We embraced each other with not a single word uttered. Her arms wrapped around my neck and my own around her waist. In a single instant all I knew was her, standing in front of me, holding me tightly. I eagerly returned that favor. It was so easy to forget how much I'd missed her warmth when I was in those cold ruins, but now that I knew it again, I never wanted to let it go.

I wasn't afraid to admit I almost burst into tears just from the sheer sensory overload.

Slowly, almost reluctantly, we parted. We never let go of each other, but we weren't as close as before. She held onto my shoulders, looking me up and down.

She breathed in and out, white mist forming in front of her face. "Alex…" I felt a shiver go up my spine as she said my name. "Are you alright? I got your letter, and then Nowi and Ricken arrived speaking of…  _monsters_. We came as fast as we could, but I kept wondering…"

I stopped her by taking one of her hands in mine, squeezing it a little. It helped ground me. My heart didn't stop pounding away in my chest but it allowed me to actually say something. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine. We're fine. I, uh, we killed the thing that was making those monsters. They should be all gone now. I'm just…" Despite my desperate attempts to not bawl my eyes out, I almost failed right then. I sniffled. "I'm just glad you're here, right in front of me… I swear to God, if this is another fucking illusion I might-!"

I felt her gloved hand against my cheek. Even through the leather, I could feel the warmth underneath. She turned my head until I was staring her directly in the eyes. Her beautiful, sunrise-colored eyes.

"I'm not sure I understand, but I am here. See?" She said quietly. "And I am not going anywhere. We're going to get you all out of here and back home. And then…"

"I don't care," I replied, my voice a low rumble. "Can we just, uh… stay like this, for a while?"

That smile, that smile that would make my heart go like a goddamn jackhammer in my chest crossed her lips. It was almost too much; I felt like I'd break down at any moment. Those weeks in Khadein were helpful for one thing, though; I was able to keep the mask up. Not that I was averse to her seeing me cry, she'd seen it already. It just didn't feel like I should then. It'd ruin the moment.

She nodded silently. After a moment, I pressed my forehead to hers. If I just moved a small amount, I would be kissing her. I relented for the moment, though. That would come later. In a less depressing place. I was going to confess to her. Khadein proved to me that I couldn't settle for pining for long.

It was just a matter of time and place, really.

I wasn't sure how long we stood there, and I didn't care. The woman I loved was in my arms again. What more could I want?

* * *

I watched the ruins of Khadein from the back of Cordelia's Pegasus, like they might've sprung to life at any moment and congealed into a giant monster. I wouldn't put it past the place; creepier shit had gone down in that hellhole. The ruins grew smaller and smaller, until I couldn't see them anymore. And I thanked every god I knew about for that.

_The nightmare is finally over._

Thankfully, there were enough flyers to get all of the men out of there in one trip.

As we flew over the mountain range surrounding Khadein, I couldn't help but hold Cordelia a little tighter to me, both out of instinct to the more than substantial drop, but also because I wanted to. She didn't say anything, but she also didn't make me stop.

Eventually, we made it back to solid ground, and set up camp for the night in the middle of the wilderness. There was snow everywhere, but I honestly preferred it to the permafrost back in Khadein. The camp was a little haphazard as well, but once you spend over a month in the middle of a frozen wasteland with nothing but a few tattered remnants for tents, you tend to appreciate the smallest conveniences.

That night, I trundled through the camp, snow crunching beneath my feet. I had a conversation with a certain tactician. He knew I was coming, so I didn't bother to announce myself.

"Ah, Alex!" He greeted me. "Thank you for coming. I know this is not exactly the most comfortable place to talk about what transpired in those ruins, but…"

I nodded grimly. "Yeah, I get it. Can't contain your excitement, huh?"

"That is… a harsh way to put it," Robin conceded solemnly, motioning to a few pieces of cheap furniture. "Let us sit down. I have a feeling you have much to report to me."

I ran my hand through my hair. "Fuck, man, you've got no idea."

I did as he said, trying to make myself comfortable, although that was a bit difficult. Didn't expect them to have high-quality furniture; we weren't exactly travelling with royalty anymore. Once we got settled, Robin folded his hands in front of him, his expression patient.

Leaning back, I sighed. "God, where do I even begin? Well, let me just say this upfront: this entire fucking  _escapade_ was a disaster, from a resource standpoint…"

By the time I was done, Robin looked like he wanted to throw up. I couldn't blame him. Not really.

I took a deep breath, my throat parched. Really wished I'd brought water with me. "So, yeah. That's everything. I couldn't be happier that that cesspit is rubble in the ice."

* * *

"…Gods," Robin murmured. "You were not wrong; this was a disaster. I am… I am sorry that I sent you on this mission, Alex. We all knew the danger, and yet-"

I raised my iron hand, stopping him. "If you hadn't, we'd probably have a shit ton of problems to deal with. Beyond Grima and all that horseshit. We already got one dragon abomination breathing down our necks, we don't need another one."

"Even so…" Robin avoided looking at me, apparently finding the ground to be very interesting. "You became their leader, and personally led the rest of the expedition into the darkness to destroy a monster. It almost sounds like something out of those historical texts I have read. I would almost consider it a miracle that any of you made it out at all."

I waved my hand, a small frown forming on my face. "Please, Robin. Let's just, uh, let's talk about something else now. And also, don't you dare blame yourself for this, you hear me?"

Robin's brow furrowed. "What?"

"Just, God…" I sighed, trying to find the right words. "Just don't blame yourself. That's really all I gotta say. We had an entire talk about this kinda bullshit, remember? Besides, you weren't the one who came up with the idea for an expedition. You supported it, but I don't blame you for that, either; we had to get that army going, and that was a good time to do it. If anyone's to blame, it's the nobles for putting so much fucking stock in history. They can moan and groan that I destroyed thousands of years of history, but you and I know that we got rid of a serious problem." I shrugged. "That's it."

Robin was silent for a few moments, either because he was thinking, or he was stunned by what I said. "…I would not go around saying that when we get back to the city, but… thank you, Alex." Robin replied, a small smile on his face.

I coughed into my fist awkwardly. "Uh, yeah, no problem, man. Anyway, how's the army been going? I've been outta the loop for a while."

Robin hummed. "Much better than it was before you left. As it turns out, Winter leaves many of the peasants without much to do except stay in their homes and try to keep warm. When word came that there was an Ylissean military forming, not under the command of a lord, but the Crown itself, I found myself with many new recruits."

I whistled, a grin on my face. "Heh, and all we had to do was wait for Winter, huh? Well, I'm sure me going to that frozen hellhole had something to do with it, too."

"It did!" Robin nodded excitedly. "A few of the lords from the north and the east approached me, dedicating some of their troops to the standing army. I almost could not believe it at the time! I have no definitive proof that it was because I showed interest in Ylissean culture, but I would like to believe that it did."

"Nice to know we prevented an invasion  _and_ made ourselves ready for another one, I guess," I said, genuinely happy. "…It's just another year until the Valmese invade, I think. Goddamnit."

"Another year of secretive preparations." Robin nodded glumly. "There is one more item on the agenda before that, however."

I raised a brow tiredly. "That being?"

"A… proof of concept, if you will." Robin began. "Many of the lords who have pledged men to the standing army are convinced that it is to repel invaders  _and_ to deal with brigands in the wilderness. There is some unrest towards the south; bandits pillaging villages. Nothing unusual in and of itself. Gods know that the raids did not end with Gangrel's defeat. Curiously, though, while many of these raids are easily repelled by local militia, these new ones are a good deal more well-armed and organized. Almost as if someone is leading them."

My expression grew sour.

Robin raised a hand placatingly. "Relax, Alex, I will not be sending you on this one. At least, not for many months. We strike them this Spring, at the earliest."

I sighed, leaning my hand on my arm. "Fair enough, Robin. Guess we gotta test the army at some point. Better to have it in our own soil than repelling actual invaders, I guess. Get to see how fucked we are."

"We are not 'fucked'," Robin rebuked. "You will see. Once we go back to Ylisstol, I am sure your worries will be assuaged."

"They probably will, it's just…" I sighed again, feeling like the clothes on my back weighed a ton. "I'm just being a downer, like Nowi said. Just, uh, really tired."

Robin chuckled humorlessly. "It seems we have that in common. Just remember this will not last forever. In a few years, I am sure we will all be laughing about that time we slew the Fell Dragon over a tankard of spirits."

I smirked, despite my dour mood. "God, I could go for that right now. Yeah, I wasn't lying about the warm drinks. Think we got any around here?"

"I do not think so, unfortunately." Robin replied, sighing dramatically. "I did not see it on the manifest. Alas, had I known my Knight had become a drunkard, I would have procured some, if only to silence him."

"What can I say, milord is a slave driver." I replied wryly.

Robin cringed, and I took that as a victory. "Gods, and there he says it again! Can I not order you to not call me that in private?"

"Of course you could,  _milord_."

Robin groaned while I laughed cruelly.

* * *

The road to Ylisstol was paved with snow and ice, and I was sick of it. I'd seen enough snow and ice to last me a lifetime. All I wanted to do was snuggle up in a comfortable chair, a roaring fire nearby, and get the cold out. Preferably with Cordelia nearby but at that point I would take whatever I could get.

The journey didn't last forever, thankfully. Only so much road to get through before you reach the end. Finally, I was back in Ylisstol. I didn't remember when I started feeling like it was home, but, by God, did it feel like it was then.

Ylisstol was covered in snow, but that wasn't surprising. In fact, it'd probably get worse soon, considering it was, at the most, the end of December; we weren't even in February yet.

Yeah, that comfortable chair and roaring fire were looking  _really_ good right then.

We were just walking through the street. Cordelia and the rest of the Pegasus Knights that followed us went to the castle aeries, wherever those were. What remained of the Feroxi fighters and Griffin Riders returned to Ferox long before we got to Ylisstol. That left us with just over ten people, plus Robin, walking through the streets. Considering we had well over twenty-five Ylissean soldiers go with us, I expected a few questions from everyone.

One thing I didn't expect, but probably should have, was someone walking beside me like they were there the whole time.

"Hey, Sailor."

"Jesus H. fucking  _Christ-_!" I nearly screamed.

Gaius looked at me strangely and shrugged, sucking on a lollipop as he effortlessly kept pace with me. "You know, I've known you for a good while now, and you keep shouting this Jesus guy's name. I know you said he's a religious figure back where you come from, but I'm not sure how to take it when you keep saying it when I'm around. What, do I look like him?"

I shook my head. "Fuck, no. Not even close. I just… Wait, what the fuck are you even doing here? I thought you'd be back up at the barracks!"

"I was, yeah." Gaius confirmed, giving me a side glance. "Then I heard from a few birds that ya'll were coming in from the North. Now come on, don't look at me like that. Do you have any idea how boring it's been around here since you, Roughhouse, and Muscles left. Feels like I've just been sitting here twiddling my thumbs! If I didn't have all those sweets stored up, I think I would've gone mad."

"I think you're already mad." I remarked dryly.

"Eh, who knows?" Gaius shrugged again. "Anyway, glad to see you and everyone else are in one piece. Don't know exactly what went to hell in that ruin, but it doesn't look like you're in the mood to deal with me right now. Tell Muscles and Roughhouse to meet with me in the barracks later. We got some catching up to do."

I waved my hand, closing my eyes for a second. "Yeah, yeah, I got you. I think we could use the stress-relief honestly. But what're we gonna-?" When I opened my eyes, Gaius was gone. "…Am I the one whose gone insane or some shit!? Where the hell did he go!?

"Alex!" Robin called from the front. "We are going to meet with Chrom! Come on!"

"C-Coming!" I yelled back, cursing under my breath. "Damn thief…"

The rest of the men separated into different parts of the castle, led by people I'd never seen. Vaike, Sully, and Robin and I all went to wherever the hell Chrom was, while Miriel went off on her own. Turned out he was in the war room, the same place we holed up in during the Assassination, and the area where we discussed my future Knighthood.

I missed that room. Something about it seemed… I couldn't quite place it. The best way I could put it would be 'comfortingly familiar'.

Chrom himself stood up the instant we opened the door, like he'd been waiting for us for hours. I nearly balked at the fact that he had  _both sleeves_ on.

"Gods, there you all are!" He exclaimed. "It's good to see that you're all alright. We got Ricken and Nowi's warning and-!"

Robin looked to us. "I had to talk him out of leading an entire platoon into the mountains."

I managed to stifle a chuckle. Sully and Vaike, however, weren't so lucky. Chrom sputtered, before quickly regaining his composure. "W-Well, I couldn't just leave you all in that kind of situation. I am glad to see that wasn't necessary, though."

"Har!" Vaike barked a laugh. "Ya think the Vaike couldn't take 'em all on by himself!? I'll show you one day, Chrom!"

"That's not what I heard when we were stuck in that church." I commented.

"W-What're ya talkin' 'bout!? Teach didn't say nothin'!" Vaike replied incredulously.

"Sully, didn't Vaike say something about having 'nothing to say'?" I asked mildly.

"Yeah, but who cares?" Sully shrugged. "Ain't like we're back there anymore. Just glad we're home; it's easier beatin' other guys' skulls in rather than those gods' damned things back there."

Chrom looked at all of us, looking a little lost. "…I know that there was something about monsters, but were they…?"

"They were." I nodded. "Big, scaly bastards. Couldn't get through them with a sword, but axes and maces got through them well enough. Well, that and fire."

"…I'm not sure if I want to ask about anything else." Chrom said sheepishly.

"Not like you have to; it's all gone," I continued. "Robin could probably tell you everything. All I'll say is that the entire fuckin' place is dust in the middle of a frozen valley, now. And thank fuck for that."

"The nobles won't be happy to hear that." Chrom cringed. "But, personally, I'd rather have you all alive and well then have anything we could've learned from a dusty old ruin. Why don't you get some rest, everyone? I'll be sure to consult with Robin about what happened."

The three of us left that room, and I made my way to my quarters in the castle. When I fell onto my bed, I crashed. Like my body had finally given up entirely.

* * *

I was happy to be back in Ylisstol. Of that, I had no doubt. However, it did come with the prospect of having free time for the first time in what felt like years. An exaggeration, but that's how I felt. Robin still hadn't gotten back to me about his army, and he hadn't called upon me for anything else. I saw it as him subtly telling me to take it easy for the next few weeks while he was doing, I don't know, tactician-y things.

It was around that time that I remembered a promise I'd made to myself back in Khadein. To get better at weapons I was less familiar with, and maybe learn how to ride a horse. The horse-riding bit I was willing to wait on, so that left training with weapons.

The weapon I ended up choosing had nothing to do with spending time with Cordelia. Honestly.

_Liar._

That line of thought, in turn, led to my situation.

Cordelia effortlessly dodged out of the way of my jab, her red hair trailing behind her. I snarled in frustration of my own ineptitude as I stayed on the defensive, making sure her blows didn't land anywhere crucial. We were sparring with training weapons, but that wasn't the point; Sully used to do a shit ton of damage to me with just wooden sticks, so I wasn't taking any chances.

I decided to say 'fuck it' in my head and just give it all I had. I ran up to her, as quick as I could, and jammed the spear down. Cordelia's eyes widened as she parried the blow, sending the tip of the spear into the ground. I heard the wood of the shaft  _crack_ as the weapon itself flew out of my hand. I shouted as I felt something sweep my legs, and I fell to the ground with a loud crash.

As I tried to pick myself up, groaning, I saw the tip of Cordelia's spear inches away from my throat.

"…And you're dead." She said with finality, twirling her spear a bit before placing the butt of the weapon on the ground. "You've improved considerably, considering you can only use one hand. Although you rely too much on brute strength. A spear requires a lot more finesse than strength, or else-" She looked to the partially broken practice spear nearby. "Or else  _that_ happens."

I nodded, still on the ground. "Yeah, that makes sense." I paused as a thought came to mind. "…Damn, all the women I meet just kick my ass."

Cordelia giggled. "Feeling emasculated, Alex?"

"Sully beat that out of me months ago, don't worry." I laughed. "Although I think you did a better job of it. Wasn't even able to hit you once, huh?"

She pursed her lips. "If you had, I would've stopped it then and there. You are incredibly strong, as I said, but using a spear is very different from using a sword or an axe."

"Yeah, so you keep saying." I coughed, laying myself flat against the ground. "Think I'll just stay here. I'm dead, after all."

"No, get up." Cordelia said, walking up to me. "That was just a small practice match. We'll need to work on how you actually hold it… Hmm." She hummed, looking up to the ceiling. "Maybe we could try some more beginner-friendly styles. Catrian seems a little too much."

"I wish I could get up." I replied dramatically. "Really, I do. But you killed me! It's really hard to get back up from that."

"I was using that to- Oh, who am I kidding?" Cordelia sighed, holding her hand out to me. "Come on, it'll be alright."

For some reason, this one, small gesture made my heart pound. It already was, from the sparring match we just had, but this was different. Gratefully, I took her gloved hand, and hoisted myself up. Cordelia was a lot stronger than she looked; she only staggered a little as she pulled my armored ass up.

I didn't know what I was doing. Just following my instincts at first. She squeaked as I pulled her closer to me but was silent afterwards. She looked up, her eyes meeting mine, a healthy blush on her cheeks. With my iron hand securely around her, I brought up my other hand, my only real hand, and brushed it against her cheek.

She pressed her hands against my chest. Not pushing me away. If anything, it was like she was trying to flatten herself up against me. In that moment, I made a snap decision. I lowered my head down gently, closing my eyes.

Our noses bumped, but I kept going until my lips finally met hers.

I didn't care if it was clumsy. I didn't care that our noses were almost smashing painfully together. What mattered to me was that I'd finally gotten the nerve to do it. Something I'd wanted to do for months.

The kiss was chaste, and only lasted a few seconds at the most, but it was an experience I swore I'd remember for the rest of my life.

When we parted, and I opened my eyes, I drank in her appearance. Her eyes were half-lidded, looking up at me. Her breathing was quick, and her lips were slightly opened. I held myself back from doing it again; I didn't wanna smash our noses together more. I remembered I was supposed to do something. Was I supposed to tilt my head to the side or something like that?

"A-Alex…" Cordelia breathed out. "Do you-?"

I was going to say something. Honest to the Lord I was. Unfortunately, whatever we were about to say to each other was forgotten when someone walked into the courtyard. We separated completely after that, whether from nerves or surprise, I couldn't tell. I brought my fingers up to my lips, the phantom feeling of hers still on them.

"Alexander. Cordelia." Frederick's baritone voice made itself known. "I apologize for the interruption but you have been summoned."

Snapping myself out of my daze, I looked to the Great Knight. "W-What is it?" I asked.

"...I interrupted something far more intimate than a training session, didn't I?" Frederick sighed. "Nonetheless, milord bade me fetch you, Alexander. We have a situation."

I looked to Cordelia, who appeared to be in her own little world. A blush was still on her face, though not as pronounced as before. Resisting the urge to repeat what I did earlier, I called to her.

She snapped out of it. "O-Oh, that's fine. We... We can continue later, I hope?"

My lips thinned in agitation. I wanted to stay. God, did I want to stay. But refusing Robin's summons, or Chrom's summons for that matter, was not an option. After hesitating for a moment, I grasped her hand in mine. "Y-Yeah, we'll talk later, alright? I had a feeling it's been a long time coming anyway."

"Indeed. A very long time." She finished with a whisper, a small smile on her face as she squeezed my hand. It was almost painful to let go.

"Shall we go?" Frederick asked.

"Wait," I stopped us from going. "What the hell's going on? I don't mind going to see Robin but… Fuck, just what's going on!?"

I was having a hard time keeping my frustration at being interrupted down.

"You are familiar with Marth, correct?" Frederick asked, his arms behind his back. "She infiltrated the castle yet again, this time with several companions. They were brought to the meeting room."

_Lucina._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betcha weren't expecting that were ya!?
> 
> The next Chapter gets crazy as we near the end of the timeskip, finally. By my count, I think the fic is almost... halfway done? Maybe a little bit less, but it's still farther than I've ever gotten on my other stories.
> 
> Thanks to DestructionDragon360 and Narwhal Lord for beta-reading!
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> See you guys next time!


	29. Sunflowers and Roses

On our trip through the castle, my lips were sealed shut. Without the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I could finally think clearly, and I wondered just what the hell I was thinking. Well, I knew what I was thinking, only it didn't line up with what I  _wanted._

_Clearly, you were thinking with your_ other  _head, boy scout._

I had to stop myself from slapping my palm against my face. The iron palm. I deserved it.

My mind felt like it was split between three different causes for panic. One, being my reaction to my impulsive move from earlier. The second was the fact that Lucina was there. In the castle.  _A year before she was supposed to be there._  And thirdly, Cordelia's  _reaction_.

I swore I could still feel my lips against hers. Feel their softness. And the way she pushed herself against me when I finally did it…

I wasn't stupid. When we kissed, she reciprocated. I would have to be denser than a ship filled with depleted uranium to not realize that. I was just having a hard time really getting my head around it. Never really had something like it happen to me before.

But none of that mattered to me anymore. I knew how I felt. Knew for a long time. And now that I finally had an idea on how she felt about me, I came to a decision. I was going to confess. Hell, I was already planning on it. After I was done with whatever the hell was about to happen, I would find her.

Once I came to that decision, a question formed in my head that refused to go away. A niggling thing, really.

"…Hey, Frederick."

"Yes, Alexander?" Frederick asked, not missing a single step.

"Uh," It took me a second to find the right words. "When you saw…  _us_ , you didn't seem very surprised. Is there any reason for that?"

"The fact you have held a torch for Cordelia is well known, Alex." Frederick replied, startling me with his quick response. "Many within the Shepherds have predicted you two would become an item, given enough time. I had to break-up a betting ring on it, while you were away in Khadein. Rest assured, no matter what you two were doing, I would not be surprised by it."

My cheeks flared up as I grumbled. Christ, was I really that obvious? Hell, was Cordelia? I put my money on Gaius being the person behind the betting ring. I was going to need to talk to him at some point. And by talk to I meant shout at. The little fucker.

* * *

We came upon a door. If I wasn't wrong, on the other side was the very same room we convened in during Emmeryn's assassination attempt and the day I was asked to become a Knight. On the other side was a person I hadn't seen for almost a year.

"Are you going to enter?" Frederick queried, standing next to the doorway.

"Uh, yeah, you go ahead inside," I replied a little shakily. "I'll go in in a second."

After a moment, Frederick nodded, and entered the room. The sound of the door closing echoed in my ears. My mind replayed old events like a slideshow.

I could still remember the way Lucina looked at me as I turned my back on everything to try and go home. Wished that I could've gone back in time and slapped myself upside the head for the stupidity of past me. I took a deep breath and calmed myself for what was to come. I wasn't the same person I was before. Still wasn't the person I wanted to be, really, but I was getting there, slowly but surely. Decided to consider this another step on that road.

Reluctantly, I entered.

"Ah, there they are. And here I was thinking Frederick would never reach you," I heard Robin say. He was sitting at the table, next to a very confused-looking Chrom.

I shrugged, looking around the room. "Well, I'm here now. Just trying to figure out what the hell's happened that you get  _me_ for it. Something about Marth, right?" I looked to the left. "Speak of the devil…"

"We are actually in the process of figuring that out." Robin replied, folding his hands in front of him. "Have a seat. I am sure our guests will introduce themselves once you do."

I said nothing as I sat down and saw the people on the other side of the table. Three of them. One of them was obviously Lucina; the long blue hair was a dead giveaway. She looked a slight bit older than when I saw her last. Maybe a bit taller? Couldn't really tell. The rest threw me for a loop.

The one guy was definitely Owain. Short blond hair and the armor of a Myrmidon, mostly colored yellow. His eyes were what really stood out to me. They were almond-shaped, like those of a certain Chon'sinian swordsman I hadn't talked to in months. The other made me pause; she wore heavy plate armor and had short, blonde hair in a bowl-cut. It almost looked like she was gonna be swallowed by the armor she wore. I realized it was Kjelle easily after that.

_Guess Sully and Vaike finally fucked in the future._

I shook that thought away; wouldn't help for that moment.

"Alright, everyone is here." Chrom began, leaning forward and staring Lucina in the eye. "You helped save Emm's life once, and for that I will always be grateful. Honestly, I would've just let you in if you wanted. You've proven yourself to be trustworthy, in my eyes."

"If milord remembers, I strongly suggested mending that small breach in the wall." Frederick commented.

I leaned back. "And miss the chance for Marth to come a-calling?"

Robin facepalmed.

"My apologies, sir; old habits die hard." Lucina replied, tilting her head. I didn't miss the way she started looking at me. Her eyes mostly remained on Chrom, though. Even if one of them was covered by her hair. "Besides, I wished to remain discreet. You are not the only one who knows that I possess knowledge of the future."

"Who else would?" Chrom asked. "I know future knowledge would be something anyone would want, but…" Chrom paused. "…You've made a few enemies, I take it?"

Robin muttered something under his breath.

The entire conversation was making me just a little uncomfortable, but I thought I was hiding it well. I'd known all of this anyway; I shouldn't have been as uncomfortable as I was. We were just going through the motions. Earlier than expected, but still.

"…Not just any enemy, sir," Lucina said grimly. " _The_ enemy."

"You have us at a disadvantage, milady." Frederick pointed out. "Who is this enemy you speak of?"

_Grima._

"The Fell Dragon himself!" Owain suddenly burst out. "The Shadow of Naga, made flesh! We have come from afar seeking you, to warn you of his impending resurrection-!"

"Shut up, idiot!" I winced as Kjelle slapped him across the back of the head. With her gauntlet still on. The sound it made… "If you keep speaking like that then the entire palace will hear us!"

"B-But they have to know about the-!"

"Shh!"

"I…" Lucina sighed. "I apologize for my companions'… behavior. We have been through a great deal."

Kjelle huffed, crossing her arms as Owain nursed the back of his head. "I'm just sick of his whole  _thing_. I don't know how you aren't."

"Grima…" I breathed out, the name feeling strange on my tongue.

Chrom awkwardly coughed into his fist. "I will… keep that in mind. But what he just said… The Fell Dragon? And he will be resurrected?"

"I wish I could have delivered better news, but yes." Lucina confirmed. "In the future, the Fell Dragon is resurrected, and we all die."

"Well, that's kinda blunt, huh?" I commented.

Robin stood up. His chair's legs screeched against the wooden floor. "I have heard enough. I want to know who you are. All three of you. You claim to  _see_  the future, but I have a different theory in mind. You  _lived_ it didn't you? I do not know much about what the future has in store, but if the Fell Dragon returned, there would be mass chaos and loss of life. All the books I have read about the Schism say as such." Robin looked down at the table. "It may be forthright of me to ask this, but-"

A fist slamming on the table silenced Robin and made me jump. I looked to where it came from to see Lucina with her hand on the table. Her expression was hard to read. A mix of grief and anger, maybe? Nonetheless, she schooled it after a second.

"…Fear not, Grandmaster Tactician," Lucina began, standing up herself. "You are correct. I cannot reveal everything to you now, but I know that trying to alter events as little as possible will not work. You know me as Marth, and that is the name I shall keep for now."

"I am Owain!" Owain exclaimed dramatically, striking a pose. "Wielder of the accursed blade of legend, Missiletainn! Do not take another step closer, my friends, for my sword hand-!"

"Please, Gods, shut him up before I do something drastic!" Kjelle groaned, almost facepalming before apparently realizing that slapping herself in the face with a gauntlet would be a bad idea. "Name's Kjelle. Nice to meet you."

_And by your powers combined you make Captain Planet. I think that's how that phrase goes._

"I realize it may be hard to believe, but we are travelers from the future." Lucina continued. "A future in which the Fell Dragon is resurrected, and all is lost…"

I listened as Lucina began her explanation. Knowing most of it, a lot of the words simply washed over me. Owain or Kjelle would interject every once in a while, although they'd do it in their own way, sometimes contradicting something Lucina would say or just saying something that didn't really contribute much.

In the end, I'd heard it all before, and so had Robin. We'd already knew what was coming, although Robin never knew about the future kids. At least, until that moment.

Chrom was the palest I'd ever seen him. After Lucina was done, he sighed, and buried his face in his hands. "Gods… and here I was thinking things were getting a bit quiet," He muttered, looking back up. "But, strange as it might be, I believe you."

For just a second, I could see Lucina's lips quiver just a bit, before she nodded. "Thank you, sir. If I am right, Valm should be on your shores within the year. Your tactician's army should prove to be effective."

"Not if they're all soft," Kjelle commented. "If they aren't running circles around the walls, they won't stand a chance."

"They will do the job." Robin muttered. "They have to, if what you say is true."

Chrom seemed to be deep in thought for a second. "…Frederick, Robin," He finally said. "Gather Phila and the rest. We need to have a meeting." Chrom looked to the future kids. "I'd be happy to shelter you all within the barracks for the time being. This extends to your friends that haven't arrived yet."

Lucina blinked, almost as if she couldn't believe it. "…You are very kind, sir."

Chrom laughed, color returning to his visage. "It's the least I could do! You helped keep Emmeryn alive during the war, and now you might have given us the time we need to properly prepare for the trials ahead!"

I shared a look with Robin. The expression on Robin's face did not fill me with a lot of confidence for my future. It was a face that screamed 'we are going to have words'. However, before that, I had to have a chat with a certain someone.

* * *

It was going to be a long day. A very long day. It may've seemed obvious, considering all the shit that'd happened so far, but that wasn't giving it enough credit.

Once the first meeting adjourned, I waited for a while. Didn't want to talk to Lucina or the other kids immediately. That could draw unwanted attention. I had to get to her before Robin flayed me alive, though, so after a few minutes, I followed where they went.

The barracks weren't far away from the castle, so once I was there it was a simple matter of finding out which room they went into. While I looked though, a small bit of nostalgia whipped through my mind. It felt like it had been ages since I'd set foot in the place, what with its grey walls and spartan rooms. I missed it. The castle was nice. Really, it was. But nothing would ever really compare to the barracks.

After a small trip through memory lane, I found the room Lucina decided to plop herself down in. I could only imagine Kjelle and Owain were nearby. Made a mental note to myself to talk to them later.

I knocked on her door. "Hey, Marth."

Rustling on the other side.

I sighed. "Look, you may not be happy to see me, but-"

I swore I heard sniffles on the other side. "It is not a matter of not being happy to see you, Sir Alex." Came the muffled reply. "I am just… not in state to talk with others at the moment."

My brows furrowed in concern. "…It was Chrom, wasn't it?" I asked, leaning against the door. "It's been over a year since you last saw him. That was a bit much, I take it?"

I jumped a little as the door opened, and Lucina revealed herself. An errant tear streamed down her cheek which she quickly wiped away. "…What do you want, Sir Alex?"

I looked at her seriously. "I want to talk, Lucina," I said. "I've… got some crap to get off my chest. I know right now may not be the best time but…"

Lucina looked down, wiping away at her face again before beckoning me inside. Graciously, I entered.

"You're here now, then." Lucina pointed out, sitting down on the single bed within the room. "What is it you wanted to talk about? I'm assuming you have questions."

"I'll get to that, but first I, uh…" I sighed again, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Lucina looked at me, confusion marring her features. "Pardon?"

"You know," I began. "Almost a year ago? Fuck, makes me angry just thinking about it. I was a stupid asshole, alright? I had no business saying what I said back then. You were… You were right about me, then. I was being a coward. I was pretty much everything you said. Didn't listen to you because I was so focused on going home, but… Well, that isn't an option. Probably never was."

"I do not understand, what are you-?"

"It's…" I interrupted. "It's not important. Just thought you should know that I'm never going to turn my back on this ever again. I'll stay with everyone until the very end, should it come to that. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate what you tried to do then, even if it didn't work. You're a good person, Lucina. Never change."

Lucina blinked. "I…" She sniffled again, and after some mutterings to herself, she schooled her expression. "I accept your apology, Sir Alex. I realize you were not in your right mind at the time, but… Thank you."

I nodded. "Yeah, don't mention it. Figured I might as well get that out of the way. Pretty sure Robin's gonna want you pretty soon, so… Yeah." I adjusted a finger on my iron hand. "I do have a few questions, if you'll be willing to answer them."

"I do not see why not." Lucina said, taking a deep breath. "Since Sir Robin knows as well, I can answer any question either of you has."

"Heh, Robin'll be happy to hear that." I chuckled. "He'll probably chew me out for keeping you all a secret though. Anyway, I gotta ask, what happened to the whole 'not interfering unless necessary' thing? I know you haven't told Chrom you're his daughter from the future, but everything else is kinda… well, it's big news to just drop on somebody."

"It was your suggestion, actually." Lucina replied, standing up. "The plan originally was to interfere only when necessary. However, when Sir Alex told us of what he knew, he said that that tactic would only work for so long." Lucina looked down. "…Of course, I do not think it is safe to reveal my true origins just yet."

I nodded and hummed. "Mhm. And there's that whole thing where he lied to you about Emmeryn. Well, lie of omission, it seems like, but still."

"I still do not understand that. Why would he not tell us, or even me, of that?" Lucina asked to no one in particular. "It is too late to ask him, but…"

"He was probably in the same boat as me; trying to keep things from diverging. Don't exactly know why when he knew that I'd be here, but what the fuck ever." I rubbed the back of my head. "Don't beat yourself up over that, by the way. That was his – our – mistake. And nothing will change that."

"Perhaps he was conflicted about it. No one ever could see through his mask." Lucina shook her head. "You're correct. Nothing will change it now. I just hope that there is not more he did not inform me of."

"I doubt it. Even if he didn't, we're still in a pretty good spot." I leaned against the wall. "We've got an entire trained and professional army to counter whatever the hell Walhart throws at us. Hell, soon we'll be able to see it in action."

"Indeed. I would like to think we will win. It is…  _nice_ , to have that luxury." Lucina said quietly.

I nodded silently, thinking for a moment. I kind of forgot that Lucina and the other kids came from a future where defeat was virtually ensured. I only had one more thing to ask, anyway.

"…Just one more question, Lucina." I said suddenly, taking slow and steady breaths. "Things have changed a bit since we last talked so… Well, I'd just like to confirm something." I looked her dead in the eye. "Am I Severa's father?"

Lucina seemed taken aback by that. For a moment, it looked as if she was going to refuse to answer, but she eventually gave in and sighed.

She nodded.

* * *

I stood silently with my arms crossed as Robin sat at his desk, looking up at me occasionally. He ran the gamut of emotions on his face, ranging from anger to confusion to sadness. He opened his mouth several times, apparently trying to find the right words to say, only to close it with an audible click until he tried again.

"…You know, Alex," Robin finally said, finding his voice. "I have seen much in the near two years I can remember. I have fought in a war, been taken in by a monarch of a country who proclaimed that he was a 'Shepherd' when I first met him, and I saw the aftermath of Khadein and read of what happened there. However, the longer I think of this situation in particular, the more I think of just how  _crazy_  it is."

He stood up, his chair scrapping against the wood. "Let me put it clearly: You are a dimension-traveler, come from lands unheard of to warn us of Emmeryn's death. In doing so, you also told me of the  _end of the world_ at the hands of the Fell Dragon. Now, we have three time-travelers bringing ill tidings as well. Dimension-hopping and time travel. Please tell me I am not the only one who thinks that this is absolutely  _insane_?"

I shook my head. "No. No, I think it's fucking batshit insane too."

"…I suppose you would be the one most affected by it, would you not?" He sighed, sitting back down. "I can only guess as to why you did not tell me about these time travelers. It provided a good way for me to expand the army, seeing as how Chrom will be fighting for it in the Council even harder now, I suppose. Would it be called a 'blessing in disguise'?"

"Probably." I shrugged.

"Nonetheless." Robin looked sternly at me. "I know I said that I did not care what other information you were keeping under wraps, but this… I really wish you told me about this. I have to ask, why didn't you?"

"Because it's not really relevant anymore." I replied succinctly.

"What do you mean?"

"Robin, I already did what they were supposed to do," I continued. "Their purpose was to warn you of what was heading your way. Since, well, since  _I_ did that for you, the only thing they could really do is make it public."

"Then why come back at all, then? Wait…" Robin paused. "…Nevermind, that was a stupid question. Anyone would want to escape their world. And I will not look a gift horse in the mouth; they seemed capable enough. I am sure Chrom will induct them into the Shepherds, once he sees their prowess in battle."

"Yup." I nodded.

"Is there anything else you can tell me about them? There must be more to them than just simply being time-travelers." Robin frowned. "…Gods, that sentence hurts me."

I pursed my lips. "Robin, I can tell you, but…"

He raised a brow. "So there is more to them… Yes, I would like to hear it, no matter what it is. Or how crazy it is."

I took a deep breath. "Fucking… Alright, fine. You know the blue-haired one? Marth?"

Robin nodded, his eyes focused on me curiously.

"She's Chrom's daughter from the future. Her real name is Lucina." I said quickly.

Robin was completely silent for a moment, staring up at me like I'd grown a second head or a third arm. He tilted his head to the side. "…That makes a disturbing amount of sense." Robin leaned back, closed his eyes, and breathed out. "Sumia is pregnant, you know."

My brows furrowed. "And no one told me? The hell?"

"It is common knowledge at this point, Alex, I am surprised you did not hear about it." Robin replied, stretching. "I appreciate her keeping her identity a secret for the time being, then. I am unsure if the name 'Lucina' has crossed their minds, but it could have raised a few questions. Especially with Frederick."

"Is Lucina not a common name or something?" I asked.

"Uncommon enough that it could raise questions for him." Robin said, lacing his fingers together on the desk. "But that is not important right now. I assume the other two are also children from the future. What is their parentage?"

"Getting kinda clinical now, Robin." I said, walking towards his desk. "I can tell you who their mothers are, but the fathers are a little bit harder. Can give you my best guess, though."

Robin cringed. "My apologies. I believe I have been doing logistics and such for longer than I should. Anyway!" Robin coughed. "Please, tell me."

"Well, that strange blond-haired one is Lissa's." I continued, rubbing the back of my neck. "Judging from his eyes, I'm gonna guess Lon'qu. Haven't talked with him or Lissa for ages now, though."

Robin hummed. "Hmm. Lon'qu saved Lissa from an assassination attempt during the war. Farcical thing, that was. Lon'qu slew several trained assassins on his own. I believe they still converse, although I am uncertain how often." Robin blinked. "And the other one? Kjelle was her name, I believe."

I chuckled. "Yeah, that one's Sully's. Don't have any solid proof, but I think Teach is the dad."

"Vaike?" Robin frowned. "Gods, she will be  _strong_." Robin looked up again. "There are more of them, are there not?"

"I mean, yeah." I replied, adjusting a finger. "There's a lot of them. I think… eleven? Don't quote me on that. I don't know where the others are and I forgot to ask… Shit, I forgot to ask her where the others are."

"That is fine. I think I know what I am going to do now," Robin said with finality. "You have been rather curt today, if you do not mind my saying so. Something on your mind?"

A certain redhead had been, although Robin already knew that.

"…Maybe." I mumbled out.

Robin openly laughed. I preferred him this way to the cold persona I saw a few minutes before. "Oh yes, there is definitely something on your mind. Perhaps it is a certain Knight-Captain of the Pegasus Knights, hmm? One who Frederick told me was in your arms naught but a few hours ago?"

My cheeks continued to warm up.

"I think I will release you for today." Robin said, standing up and picking a few papers from his desk. "Your information has been helpful. If there is anything else you wish to tell me, let me know. Or I could have one of those future children come in here and do it for you. Either or, really."

"T-Thanks." I murmured, turning towards the door.

"Oh, and Alex?"

I turned my head to look at Robin.

"I believe she is in her room. Be careful; those walls are not soundproof."

I nearly threw my iron hand at Robin's smug face.

* * *

I tried to swallow the growing lump of nervousness in my throat, to no avail; the fucker was like rock and refused to budge. Standing in front of Cordelia's door in the barracks, I found myself frozen in place like a statue. All I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my ears. Leave it to me to find my nerves just as I was about to do what I'd longed to do for what felt like years.

I took several deep breaths, attempting to steady myself.

_Daylight's a-wasting, boy scout._

Closing my eyes as if it would make it easier, I knocked on the door. I swore to myself that if Robin lied to me, I really would throw my iron hand at him.

I could almost feel the seconds tick by as I heard nothing from the other side. Don't know how long I waited, but I grew more anxious by the second. For those several seconds, it felt as if time stood still.

Finally, both to my relief and continued anxiousness, the knob turned, and Cordelia came into view.

"O-Oh, hello, Alex." She greeted awkwardly. I noted that she wore her uniform without the chest plate and armor on, making her look… really, really cute, actually. "I'm glad you… finally made it! W-Would you like to come in?"

"Uh, yeah." I replied awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. "I've got a lot to say."

Cordelia looked down, a small smile on her face despite her obvious nervousness. "So do I."

Entering briskly, Cordelia closed the door behind me. Somehow, I found myself drawn to the view from her window, showing a brilliant blue sky with light shining in through the glass. The sight calmed me a bit. I needed every bit of nerve I could manage. Slowly, I moved to lay my hand against the windowsill.

The 'tink' of my iron hand hitting the wood cast my gaze downward. Cringing slightly, I ignored it and turned back around. Cordelia was there, standing and looking at me with a blush on her beautiful face. Her hands were held in front of her as she played with her fingers. The sound of my boots hitting the floor still drowned out by my heartbeat.

"I-Is there something you want to say to me, Alex?" Cordelia said, apparently trying her best to keep it together.

"…Yeah. Yeah, I do." I closed my eyes, her face the last thing I saw before I opened them again. "Cordelia, for a long time now I've… Fuck, for a long time I've had feelings for you. Like, a  _really_ long time. All the way… All the way back at Whiteford, when you and Robin brought me back from the edge. Every time you've walked me by, I can't help but look at you as you leave. Every time we talk my heart starts beating so fast that, at first, I thought I was having a heart attack." I stopped myself, forcing myself to breathe. My emotions were almost getting the best of me. "W-What I'm trying to say is that… is that I love you."

_And it only took you fifteen years to say it._

A shuddering gasp left Cordelia's lips as she stepped toward me, but I wasn't finished.

"I-I know I'm not the best-looking guy out there. I mean, God, have you seen these scars?" I moved my hand up and traced the rough scar tissue across my lips and cheek. "A-And this iron hand probably isn't very comforting. I-It's kinda freaky now that I think about it. Only have one hand to… to do anything with. I know you can do better but if you-!"

I never got to continue with my rambling. Cordelia quickly wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled my head down to hers. Our noses didn't crush together like last time, letting me press her lips to mine completely. All my nervousness, all my negative feelings melted away. All I felt was her, all I could sense was her. Her scent, her skin, her soft lips against my own. I wrapped her up in my arms, trailing my hand up her back. I could've stayed in that moment forever.

I didn't care how long we were like that. All I knew was that it wasn't long enough.

Eventually we parted, and I opened my eyes to see the most radiant and beautiful smile on her lips. My breath left me in shuddering gasps, mingling with her own.

"…Was that enough to tell you how I feel?" Cordelia asked, touching her forehead with me. "Alex, I've felt the same way about you. Ever since… Ever since you held me in your arms that night, so many months ago."

I could tell exactly which night she was talking about. The night of Chrom's wedding.

"I-I never thought I could feel this way for someone else." Cordelia continued, stuttering slightly. "When you kissed me this morning, it almost felt like I was on a Pegasus for the first time; my heart pounded in my chest. I couldn't stop thinking about you." Her smile faltered slightly. "Those months you were gone, all I could think about in-between training sessions and teaching the recruits was you. I-I love you too!" Her smile came back in full force as she giggled. "Gods, it feels so relieving to finally say it out loud!"

My eyes stung as tears began to fall. Relief flooded me as those words left her lips. I just couldn't help myself. I closed my eyes hard before opening them again, as if I expected what was happening to be a dream. Cordelia was still there, tears streaming down her own gorgeous face.

In that moment, nothing else mattered to me. Not the impending Valmese invasion, not the resurrection of Grima, nothing. I'd fight them all just to keep that smile in front of me as radiant as it was.

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle, feeling better than I had for months. "…You sure you want this?" I said, half-joking. "I was serious about the scars. They aren't exactly my best features-"

I stopped once I felt my right arm move up. Cordelia held my iron hand in hers as her other came to trace the ones on my face, making me shiver.

"I don't care. Why would I? It's all a part of you."

" _Christ…_ " I breathed out. "Are you trying to see if you can make fall in love with you  _more_?"

"I wouldn't be averse to the idea, no." She giggled, keeping her arms around my neck as she looked up at me. "That implies that there's still more ground to cover, doesn't it?"

"Maybe you'll be able to publish a book about it? Heh, 'How I got a scarred soldier to fall in love with me'. You'd be rolling in gold." I chuckled, a thought coming to mind. "…Though now that I mention it, I guess, where do we go from here?"

Cordelia stopped. "I… hadn't thought about that either. Where do you think we should go?"

I shook my head, a certain tsundere coming to mind for some reason. "We can work that out later. Right now, well, I'd like to stay like this."

Cordelia squealed happily as I came upon her again, gathering her up in my arms.

* * *

The days after our confessions were among the happiest of my entire life. I probably had the goofiest grin on my face.

Unfortunately, keeping the whole thing a secret wasn't an option, considering that we'd apparently been pretty, well,  _blatant_  in our crushes for each other. Vaike was one of the first, the musclebound fucker. Set him straight when I invoked the Sully card. All he can do when I pull that is sit there and mumble. Funny as all hell, doing that.

And of course, there was my blossoming relationship with the most beautiful woman on the planet. I wasn't sure how relationships worked in Ylisse, to be honest, or what her concept of one would be. In the game, I vaguely remembered that after four conversations, characters got married. Marriage seemed a bit of a big step, in all honesty. Even if I had confirmation from Lucina that things most likely got to that point before. My knowledge of Medieval Europe wasn't exactly complete, but I knew that a lot of marriages, if not all of them, were arranged.

I refused to let thoughts such as those get to me, though. Ylisse was based on Medieval Europe, but it was not it. Didn't think they had the concept of a 'girlfriend' though. I guess the closest thing I'd call us would be… lovers? Bit on the nose but it worked.

We met several times after that, in secret, in everywhere from her room again to the outskirts of the city. Those were always exhilarating, and I could not get enough of it. The feeling of her in my arms, her lips against mine, all of it.

It had to come to an end though. Not our relationship, but those few care-free days. A week after our confession, Robin summoned me. Apparently, he had something I wanted to see.

"Alright, Robin-" I began, not looking. When I did, I saw Chrom and Frederick were right next to him. "-Wait, what? Nice to see you as well, Chrom, and you, Frederick, but what's going on here?"

Robin smirked triumphantly, looking out from the balcony. "Take a look for yourself, Alex. Chrom was impressed that I was able to gather them all in one place for a demonstration."

"That I am. Considering what Marth told us of Valm and… and  _Grima_ , it will be put to the test." Chrom said, holding a hand to his chin. "Gods, just looking at them fills me with confidence! I almost wonder why I was worried."

"This is a decent army we have mustered, Robin." Frederick loomed over the bannister. "I am concerned about its training, however. I know that you have plans to demonstrate this army, as you have said. I want to know what that plan is, since you have neglected to tell anyone."

Finally, I reached the balcony, and my jaw promptly dropped to the floor.

In the courtyard of the castle stood an army. Soldiers wielding spears and shields stood in a rank and file formation, like terracotta statues. They weren't completely immobile; several were moving about the courtyard, checking their weapons or polishing their shields. Judging from the amount within the courtyard itself, it wasn't the entire army either.

"Most of them arrived this morning." Robin began, walking up next to Chrom with his arms behind his back. "An entire army paid for by the crown itself, and not beholden to a different lord. They will follow your orders, Chrom. Wherever you may lead them."

Chrom looked contemplative for a moment. I caught his slightly sour expression out of the corner of my eye as I gawked at the troops below. "…I'll be honest with you, my friend, I wish I could have avoided this. Somehow, I feel as if I'm betraying Emm's memory just by authorizing this. She wouldn't want Ylisse to have a standing army; she wanted it to be a nation of peace." Chrom closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "But I know that that's impossible right now. Peace won't come just because we want it. We need to fight for it, to prove that we're worthy of it." Chrom looked to Robin. "According to Marth, the Valmese will invade in a year, and we will have to deal with the Fell Dragon's resurrection afterwards. Whatever happens, Robin, I could not have asked for a more capable Tactician at my side."

Robin looked shocked by his words. He composed himself quickly, however, and smiled. "And I am glad that you decided to take pity on an amnesiac stranger you found on the side of the road! Heh." Robin coughed into his fist. "As to your question, Sir Frederick, I am sure you have heard reports of bandit activity towards the south."

Frederick nodded. "Indeed. Phila's reports also indicate that they are unusually organized. You have come to the same conclusion as I have, have you not?"

"There is an abandoned fortress within the forest," Robin began, "I cross-referenced the areas in which the attacks take place and have deduced that the raids are centered around it. Beyond that, I believe I know who is behind them. A Plegian general from the last war."

I turned to him, dubious. "Didn't we kill them all? Or most of them, at least?"

Robin shook his head. "That does not seem to be the case. Either way, the fortress will be a tough nut to crack, as it were. I believe it would be an excellent place to test this army; it presents the least amount of risk while also giving us time to prepare for the Valmese."

"…If milord wills it, I will not object to this operation." Frederick replied, turning to Chrom.

"We test our army and get rid of a thorn in our side. Let's do it, Robin." Chrom approved.

"Excellent!" Robin looked to me. "Alex-"

"You want me to go with them, don't you?"

"You will not be alone. I am to believe that many of the Shepherds will be travelling with us as well, even I." Robin rolled his shoulders. "It has been too long since I have been in the heat of battle, I believe. Of course you would be accompanying me."

Chrom gave me the most mischievous look I think he was capable of making and smirked. "I don't think that's what he's worried about, Robin. Haven't you heard?"

Robin looked confused for a moment before realization dawned on him. "I see! How could I forget?" A similar smirk appeared on his face as my head swiveled from side to side, bemused and afraid. "Do not worry, Alex, Cordelia and a wing of Pegasus Knights will be coming with us. You will not have to be apart at all."

"You- I- You mother-!" I spoke gibberish. Pure gibberish. I was being tag-teamed by the Exalt and Grandmaster Tactician. I didn't get paid enough for that. I threw my arms up in the air. "Alright then, you know what!? I admit it! I love her! And if anyone tries to hurt her I'll take an entire army on by myself. Not that she needs it; she still kicks my ass and that's pretty damn hot-!" I sputtered like a broken engine. "Oh. Oh, fuck all of you."

"I did not even need to do anything; you did that all by yourself!" Robin laughed. Chrom was nearly on the floor.

"As much as teasing Alexander about his love life is  _riveting_ ," Frederick began, deadpan. "We must prepare for the battle ahead."

Chrom coughed. "Of course, Frederick. Robin?"

"Do not worry." Robin replied, composing himself. "We will be ready to move by tomorrow morning, at the earliest."

I stood there indignantly, no doubt with a bright blush on my face. Slowly, though, my thoughts calmed down, and they drifted back to Cordelia. Shocker, there.

Beyond that, though was something else. A thought that refused to go away. I was curious, to be honest. Severa… Severa was my daughter. I hadn't thought about it much, although it did galvanize me to confess even more. It was strange. Almost felt like I had a family again, even if I hadn't met her yet. It was a small feeling, really, but a different kind of warmth bloomed in my chest.

_To replace your old family, you make a new one._

I hoped I got to meet her soon. I imagined what a reunion like that would be like. Considering what Lucina told me about my future self, things were likely going to need some patching. I could do that. I felt like I could do anything. It was going to be wild next few years, I knew. I dreaded it and wanted it to come faster, if only to get it over with.

I left the balcony with a small smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya hear that? That's the sound of the most wholesome romance I've ever written sailing. And by God is it sailing well.
> 
> Hopefully it all comes across all right. I am pretty nervous that I've either gone too fast or it's not good enough or- well, you get the idea. Enjoy the floof while it lasts, my friends. Shit's gonna get complicated real fast.
> 
> This might be the last Chapter I post for the year. Work is fuckin' killing me right now since it's the lead up to Christmas. Hope this is enough to keep you going for a whole!
> 
> Beta'd by DestructionDragon360 and Narwhal Lord.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> See you all next time!


	30. Let Old Ghosts Rest

"Robin." I began, stifling a yawn as he opened the door to his office. "I've been quiet but I gotta ask: what did you wake me up so early for? We leave in a couple hours, don't we?"

"That we do." Robin confirmed, walking inside. "But I have something for you that may help in the coming battles. I intended to show you yesterday evening, but I became... sidetracked."

"I mean, fair enough." I replied, stepping inside. "Not like I have- Actually, I do, but that's beside the point. Let's see what you…" I trailed off as I entered the room.

Robin's office was mostly the same as we had left it a couple days before, with one notable exception. Near the center of the room was a set of armor, held up by a stand within. A solid chestplate adorned with blue cloth draping over one side of it was between two pauldrons, with the left one being slightly smaller than the right one. The leggings were heavily armored, with leather covering where the joints would be. Finally, the helmet. It covered the entire face, with a small slit where someone would be able to see out of. The metal shined, seemingly being recently polished.

"…Wow." I murmured.

"Heh, I thought you might like it." Robin commented, sidling up beside it. "I had it commissioned when you came back. You have been wearing more piecemeal armor since you lost your right hand, so I decided to have something made for you that suits your new stance. All we need to do now is have you learn how to ride a horse."

I chuckled nervously as I rubbed the back of my neck. "I think we'll have to do that after we get back from the battle. Either way though,  _damn_. Little mean-looking, ain't it?"

I moved towards it until I was in front of it, seeing my reflection in the metal of the helmet. Reaching my hand up, I took the helmet in my grasp. The small 'tink' of my iron hand against the metal echoed in my ears.

"…Heh, you actually got a helmet for me." I laughed a little. "Whaddaya know?"

Robin cringed. "Yes, I did. Honestly, the fact that almost no one within the Shepherds wears one has irritated me for some time. There is a reason warriors wear helmets. Head protection is  _very_ important. I will not have my Knight be without it any longer."

"Alright then, Jesus Christ, calm down." I backpedaled. "Just saying. I actually think it's pretty good. Definitely wearing this when shit hits the fan. Although…" My eyes narrowed. "No weapon? Sword?"

Robin looked at me like I'd just slapped him in the face. "Oh, what? Is this new, shiny,  _very expensive_ armor not good enough for you?"

"Alright, alright, I get it. You're a little on edge today, aren't you?" I asked, looking at the cloth on the adorning the chestplate and part of the left pauldron. "What's wrong? Nervous?"

Robin was silent for a moment before responding with a sigh. "Maybe just a bit. It has been a while since I have been in the heat of battle, even if this is rather small scale. I am afraid I might be out of practice."

"You're not gonna be directing shit from the back?" I queried, glancing at him.

"Gods, no!" He replied, indignantly. "I refuse to do such a thing! I will direct from the front lines, or not at all!"

I smirked as I studied a small detail on the cloth of the armor set. The Mark of the Exalt, essentially a symbol of Ylisse itself, was emblazoned on the fabric. "Fair enough. That'll keep the men in good spirits, at least. Guess Chrom and I will have to keep you safe then, huh? Not that you can't handle yourself but you're kinda…"

"I am aware of my physique, Alex." Robin nodded glumly. "I cannot take damage, even with the armor I have now. So, yes, you and Chrom will need to protect me. Do not worry too much though." He smiled, small sparks dancing between his fingers. He didn't even have a tome on him. "I can handle myself in a scrap just fine if I must."

I chuckled. "Ha! Yeah, don't remind me. I've seen you use magic. You can be pretty terrifying sometimes." I took one last look at the armor, up and down. "…Hey, you think Cordy would-?"

"Your  _lover_ would probably think you look quite dashing in it, yes." Robin said instantly, causing me to sputter. "She seems to prefer men such as yourself, so accessories that enhance your masculinity would be pleasing to her."

"…Christ, you're getting clinical again." I muttered.

"You asked for my opinion, and now you have it." Robin gave me a genuine smile. "I am glad for both of you, by the way. It is nice to see relationships like this blossom."

I stared behind Robin and off into the distance. My relationship with Cordelia had gone pretty far in a short time. Hopefully I'd have more time to go slower. Maybe start out with living in the same room or tent-

"Alex? Gods, you are already staring off into nothing…" Robin groaned, snapping me out of my small daydream. "We leave in a few hours, so I suggest we get this armor on you."

"Uh, yeah. Alright." I nodded, pausing again. "Just one question, milord."

Robin's eye twitched. "I told you to- Fine. What is it?"

"The kids," I began. "Those three. Will they be coming with us?"

"Indeed," Robin answered easily. "I want to know how good they are in a battle. It will be useful in deciding where they should go in our formations."

"…Fair enough," I mumbled out, turning the helmet around in my hands. Pressing my lips into a line, I slowly put the helmet on, and turned back to Robin. "Now, what would you have your Knight do?"

* * *

We left later that morning.

The convoy was a bit smaller than what I assumed would be the norm when Valm invaded. Not like it had to be all that big. The bandits – well, 'marauders' would probably be a more apt name, since they were a bigger threat than bandits at that point. – were holed up in a small fortress, near the southern border with Plegia. We had everything; soldiers, craftsmen, blacksmiths, all that we needed.

It felt good being among them. Took a bit of the edge off, for a time. Living in a tent had a way of doing that. Especially when you'd just spent almost a month living in one within a frozen hellhole.

Cordelia being there helped as well.

Many of the Shepherds were there. As well as the future children, or, well, the three that were with us. I know I'd made a mental note to myself to talk with them at some point, if only to figure out more about myself from the future. Just a small curiosity, really. I'd never become the person Lucina said I would. I wouldn't let it happen.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, one of them ended up coming to me.

"You, Sir Alexander!" A blonde-haired girl said, coming up to me in full plate armor with a training spear in her hand. "Spar with me!"

Considering I was just trying to get my sword sharpened, I was a little taken aback by her fucking barging in out of nowhere. "…Okay, the hell? Why?"

"Do you need a reason?" She asked back, clearly impatient. "I want to know how strong you are. The Sir Alexander I knew never accepted, so this is finally my chance!"

"Okay, keep your voice down. Jesus!" I sighed. "I don't know why I- or why future me- Oh, fuck it." I looked around conspiratorially. No one seemed to be around, which meant no one was listening, thankfully. "…Fine. Come with me."

Kjelle fist-pumped. I wondered just who the hell taught her that. His name was at the tip of my tongue. "Hell yeah! Lead the way, then!"

A small clearing was all we needed. We moved there quickly, after I grabbed a practice sword. There was just one small problem I noticed once we were in position.

"Kjelle, you still have your armor on," I pointed out. "What the hell do you think this is? A real sword could barely do shit to that, let alone a wooden one."

Kjelle avoided my gaze uncomfortably. "…If you can't beat me like this, then I guess you aren't as strong as I thought, huh? What's the problem with wearing this?"

"It's not-! You're trying to play me, aren't you? God…" I wiped my forehead. "Fuckin, alright then. Keep it on. If I still kick your ass with you in that tin can, then you owe me a favor. Understand?"

A very dangerous smile crossed Kjelle's lips. "Understood, sir. Let's do this!"

Kjelle charged. Really, really fast. Plate armor wasn't as heavy as many people thought, and Kjelle acted like she was fucking born in it. I was already at a disadvantage, what with her using a spear and me using a sword, but with that armor on there was little of the way for me to actually do anything.

Didn't stop me from trying, though.

Sweat fell from my brow in small rivers as I slashed again, with Kjelle barely being able to block it. I found a way to get past her ungodly defense: fight until she gets exhausted, while trying my best to avoid her blows.

A bit easier said than done. Kjelle hit like a fucking freight train, as my gut could attest. However, Kjelle was slowing down, slowly but surely. Plate armor may have allowed her to move around like normal, but she'd get tired more quickly than usual. She had an absolute shit ton of stamina, though.

I didn't know how long we were out there for, just trading blows over and over again. I was concerned my practice sword would snap in half at some point. Wasn't hitting her armor, no, that would be stupid. Her hitting my sword, though, that was what would do it.

Finally, with one last strike, Kjelle fell to the ground. Good thing, too; I was about to give out as well. I took deep breaths to calm myself down. I circled around the fallen Kjelle, who laid there trying to catch her breath. Her hair was wet with sweat, making it look more brown than blonde.

"F-Fucking, good game, Kjelle!" I chuckled, holding my hand out. "How the hell could you keep going for so long?"

"I… Hah!" Kjelle gasped, grabbing my hand. God, she was heavy in that. "I used to… run circles around Ylisstol… in this armor! Hah, but even then, couldn't last long enough to… get you!"

"You f-fucking kidding me? I almost fell down!" I replied, throwing my sword to the ground, whereupon it snapped in half. I looked at it blearily. "…Yeah, if you lasted just a bit longer, I'd be a goner."

"I'll need to train harder, then. You will be beaten by me, I swear it!" Kjelle vowed, once she was on her feet.

"I look forward to it, heh." After taking one last deep breath, I looked at her seriously. "Now, I think I asked you for a favor, right?"

"Name it." She replied.

I turned my gaze away for a moment before looking her in the eye. "I've asked Lucina this but I… want a different perspective, I guess. Tell me, what was I like in the future? What was I to you?"

"That's it?" Kjelle blinked. "I would have told had you just asked! But, very well." A smile crossed Kjelle's face as she held up a fist. "You were the greatest Knight of Ylisse. The Last Shepherd! Knight-Commander! So many titles. I saw you in combat so many times, facing enemies larger than yourself so that others could escape, and you would always survive! I guess you were an inspiration. To me." She pounded her fist into her palm. "I wanted to be like that; a bulwark for Grima's minions to break themselves upon!"

I paused. "That's… a bit different from what Lucina told me."

"It made it all the more frustrating when you never sparred with me." Kjelle said, a little more quietly than before. "I wanted to prove myself to you. I guess I'll never get that chance with the man I knew."

"Kjelle…" I said softly.

She shook her head wildly. "Anyway! This just means I'll have to improve my stamina! One day, I won't just beat you with just a practice sword, I'll beat you in full armor!"

I was still a bit speechless, but I nodded, nonetheless. "Looking forward to it!"

* * *

It was all well and good that Cordelia had come with us. Now that we were in a relationship instead of a confusing grey area, I'd rather have her near me than, well… Hell, I'd rather have her with me all the time. Snuggling and all that crap. Feels nice, even though we'd only done that a couple times. I made a note to talk to her about that, then realized how formal that sounded.

_There is just no winning with you._

I was taking a break from training. Facing Lon'qu for the first time in a sparring match left me with some… Well, let's just say that Maribelle was a life saver, even if I never got to talk to her very often. She was a good person, she was just a type of abrasive that I wasn't prepared to handle for extended periods of time.

Beyond that, though, the only person I willingly sought out besides those I was sparring with or Cordelia was Lucina, but she was apparently very good at not being found if she didn't want to; I couldn't find her anywhere. I knew I wasn't the best at finding people, but this was ridiculous.

While I was stuck in my own thoughts, somehow still not addressing the coming battle, I heard someone shouting in the woods nearby. I raised a brow curiously, grumbling as I stood up. It took me only a few minutes to find out who it was.

"Hark, foul demon of the trees! I have slashed through your bark as a hot knife through butter. Surrender now and perhaps I may convince my sword hand to retreat!" The son of Lissa said dramatically, in a pose I could only describe as uncomfortable as he glared at the poor, abused tree in front of him. "Too prideful to relinquish your hold upon the wood, creature? So be it! I will purge your very essence from this world! SHADOOOW DRAGOOON!"

He stabbed the bark of the tree, actually getting pretty far into the wood before slashing it through the side, spraying sap onto the ground nearby. I had to admit, the kid had a crap ton of strength.

"Owain-?"

"WHOMS'T-!?" Owain spun around, his sword expertly pointed at me less than a second after I spoke his name. Once he saw me, though, he let the blade down. "Ah, honorable Knight of Ylisse! I would ask that you do not sneak up to me; my sword hand is unable to tell friend from foe at times."

"No shit, really?" I replied, feeling a little too nonplussed for my liking. "I heard someone shouting, so I decided to come looking. Should've known it was you."

Owain laughed. Even the way he held his head as he did so felt minorly pose-like. "Ahah! So you say, Sir Alexander! South Ylisse is a dangerous place, even more so when the trees themselves are filled with demons and other evil spirits. I took it upon myself to send them back to hell where they belong. 'Twould not do to have them leering at us as we face the enemy ahead of us!"

"…Uh huh." I replied intelligently. "I completely understood what you just said."

"As expected of the future Knight-Commander of Ylisse-! Ehp-!" Owain coughed harshly. "That is to say, Knight of Ylisse. Only one who can count themselves among their number could so effortlessly decipher my speech!"

"You just called me-!" I sighed, holding my head in my hands. "Nevermind, I don't wanna deal with that right now." I knew he was either just practicing or letting out some steam. Decided to humor him. Besides, I liked Owain; he was one of my favorite child units in the game. Probably why I could understand something from him. Even though it had been a long time since I'd ever even looked at Awakening.

_God, it's nearly impossible to remember it as a game anymore._

"…Alright," I began. "Just, uh, just be careful, you know?"

"What is there for me to be afraid of? Nothing within this wood can stand up to the power of my sword hand! Let them come!"

"I was more meaning splinters." I continued, crossing my arms. "Those things can be nasty. If you're not careful, they'll embed themselves into your sword hand, and steal your power. The wood is infested with demons, after all."

Owain sputtered, nearly choking on his own spit as he held his right hand to his chest protectively, almost like a father protecting his child. "T-The dastards! Have they no honor, attempting to siphon my power!? I thank you for alerting me to this, Sir Alexander! I will not let your warnings go unnoticed! Come at me, fiends! Face the legendary blade, Missiletainn!"

Out of a scabbard I didn't know was there before, Owain produced a dull, steel sword. I stared at it gormlessly as he cast aside the perfectly sharpened sword he already had to the ground. Owain slashed again at the tree, causing wooden chunks to rain down on the floor below.

The entire time I stood there watching him, the only thing I could think about was how he was tearing apart a tree with what amounted to an oversized  _butter knife._

* * *

"Fuck it, it's not going to happen." I seethed, holding my head in my hands as I sat up in bed. "Every time you try to close your eyes you just can't go to sleep. It's the same shit, different day." I sighed. " _Fuck._ "

I wasn't sure if it had something to do with the battle that was only a few days away, or if I'd always been like that and was just having it worse than usual. I did find it hard to go to sleep most of the time, but I never considered it outright insomnia. No matter what I did, I could not calm down. The same feeling I'd had time and time again came back with a vengeance.

An image of my dad, decked out in Army fatigues and staring at me with unfocused blue eyes, crossed my mind.

I shook the thought away as best as I could, but somehow, I couldn't shake away the feeling that he was still looking at me, from beyond dimensions. Judging. Or maybe not judging. We were the same, or at least similar. How much longer until I found myself passed out outside the Shepherd's Garrison, with a bottle in one hand?

These were crazy thoughts, dredged up by my tired mind. I knew that. And yet they refused to go away. I needed something to calm me down. Something that would make me feel better.

_Cordelia._

We hadn't talked much, which frustrated me. I missed her, and she was nearby at pretty much all times. I had no excuse. I could go on and on about how 'busy' I was or how I had other, better things to do, but that was stupid. What else could be more important to me? She was my girlfriend. And, by God, I was going to pay attention to her.

I sat up, my sheets falling off me. Hoping she wasn't asleep, I went to my tent flap.

"-Oh!" Someone gasped as I moved the cloth away. My eyes widened at their red hair.

"…Cordelia?" I murmured quietly.

She stood there, wearing nothing but a pair of boots and her riding dress. With the clear night sky in the background, and the white mist leaving her mouth, she looked like some sort of ethereal goddess. The sight was breathtaking, and I caught myself staring. I shook my head a little.

"Um, Alex?' Cordelia asked.

"…Yeah?"

Cordelia shivered a little, her teeth audibly chattering. "C-Can I come in? It's rather chilly out here."

I blinked, before cursing myself under my breath. What the fuck was I doing? Failing, that was what I was doing.

Looking around to make sure the coast was clear, even though that wasn't really necessary, I ushered her inside. Once she was, she let out an audible breath.

"Sorry about that." I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "I wasn't… Yeah, my bad."

"No, don't apologize!" Cordelia replied, smiling slightly as she fixed her hair a little. "You weren't expecting me. Besides, you were… You were looking at me. Am I really that beautiful to you?"

"Yes." I said instantly, without a shred of hesitation.

Cordelia either meant that as a joke are wasn't expecting me to answer with such certainty. At least, that was the only reason I could find for why she started blushing.

"I was actually about to go look for you." I began, attempting to fix a few fingers on my iron hand before realizing it wasn't there. To mask this, I coughed. "I've been having some, er, trouble sleeping, and we haven't had much time to ourselves. Decided now would be the best time. Ya know, because sleeping and…"

"Oh, you were?" Cordelia asked, surprised. "Well… it seems we both had the same idea then. I couldn't sleep at all."

"Great minds think alike and all that jazz." I said, smiling. "I'm just glad we finally had a chance to get together like this. I got so used to meeting you in Ylisstol that I… Ah, fuck it. Come here."

Cordelia squealed quietly as I brought her into a hug. She hung her arms around my neck and looked at me with smoldering eyes. "Someone's feeling aggressive today, hmm? Not that I mind." She gave me a quick peck on the lips before unhooking herself from me. "Not tonight, though. Now that I'm here, I feel tired. Would you mind if we…?"

_Quickly, find out if this is subtext or not._

I nodded. "Not in the slightest."

* * *

Cordelia and I faced each other on either side of the bed. Her presence did help with my issues a bit, but neither of us could get to sleep, it seemed.

"…Gods, I thought this would work." Cordelia whispered, turning over and looking up at the ceiling of the tent. "You're having that too, right? Can't fall asleep?"

I didn't say anything for a second. "…Yeah. I do. It sucks."

"That it does." She sighed. "At least the company is good."

"Yep." I put my arms behind my neck. "I've been training with all sorts of weapons, you know, not just spears. Thought that shit would tire me out but I guess not. You know axes are really,  _really_ good at getting through armor? I did. Now Kellam knows it too."

"You didn't hurt the poor man, did you?"

"Hell no. The guy's built like a fort made out of steel. Have you seen him?" I turned my head to look at her.

She had a puzzled expression on her face. "…Now that you mention it, I haven't spoken to him in a while. Or maybe… No, I was certain that was someone different…"

"Kellam has that effect on people." I chuckled.

"He does, doesn't he? Sometimes I even forget he's there." She sighed. "After the training I put some of those recruits through, I thought I would be exhausted as well. No such luck."

"How's that going, by the way?" I asked, a brow raised. "The training, I mean. Last time I checked there were a few new faces in the Pegasus Knights."

"About as well as it could." Cordelia explained, sighing. "Many of them haven't been in a single real battle before; this'll be their first. To tell the truth, I'm worried. Gertrude is my biggest problem child, though. That girl can't hold a spear right to save her life, I swear!"

"You'll get 'em through it." I reassured her, taking my left hand and gently nudging a few strand hairs away from her eyes. "You've been teaching my one-handed ass to hold a spear correctly; you can train someone hopeless into a badass. I'm sure of it."

Cordelia's face lit up in a gorgeous smile. "Always so supportive! I'm just waiting for when you finally have something not-so-nice to say about me."

"Don't count on it. There's not a single thing about you that isn't perfect."

Cordelia squirmed, a blush adorning her pale cheeks. "Gods, listen to these things you say!"

"Hey." I shrugged. "It's the truth. Never told a lie in my entire life. Honest."

"That is a lie, isn't it?"

"…Maybe."

After a good chuckle, we laid there for a few seconds, a comfortable silence settling between us. I was glad to have her with me, just laying beside me. However, there was something at the back of my mind. Something I couldn't quite place.

It came to me.

"Hey, Cordelia-?"

"Alex, do you-?"

I sputtered a little as Cordelia giggled. "Alright, nevermind, then. You go first."

"Aren't you a gentleman?" Cordelia quipped with a smile, before it faltered. "I've just been thinking. These past few weeks have been the happiest of my life, but… I can't help but wonder."

"Wonder about what?"

"About where we go from here." She answered, turning her head to look at me. "I know that usually I wouldn't do something so… so spontaneous or rash, but I couldn't help myself."

She was asking the exact same question I had on my mind. Though, to be fair, I knew exactly what I  _wanted_ to do. Severa's existence proved that I probably achieved it in the future as well. It still felt a little early though. But, I had to say  _something_.

I took a deep breath. "You know, if you told me three years ago that I'd be in bed and in love with the most beautiful woman in the world, I'd probably run away from you and call the police. Er, don't ask about that, by the way." I turned to her, smiling. "Then I got transported across dimensions and found you. In hindsight, I'm glad that happened, just so I could meet you. This is… This is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life, too."

"Alex…"

"You want to know where  _I_ think we should go after this?" I asked. "Well, maybe sometime soon I'll buy a little something, put it on your ringfinger, and then we'll, uh, tie the knot, so to speak."

"A-Alex…!" Cordelia sounded like she was choking up as she sat up. "A-Are you saying what I think you're saying…?"

"It might be a little fast." I continued, shrugging. "And I don't wanna do it until I've met your, er, your  _parents_. B-But…" I began stuttering myself. "I think… I think I'd like that. If that is what all this is leading to, if that's our future, I'll do anything to make it a reality."

My heart jumped in my chest as I felt a weight on my lower body. Cordelia had turned herself over so that she was straddling my waist. The next thing I knew, the familiar sensation of her lips on mine overtook me. Placing my hands on the side of her hips, a small flare of frustration went through my mind; I could only feel her with one hand.

Hazily, I was aware of her arm wrapping around my neck, with her hands gently placing themselves against my face. For a few seconds, we just laid there, kissing each other tenderly. I liked to think I got better at it since my first time.

Eventually, we had to part for air. It felt as if a flame lit itself inside my chest and… well, a different area, further south. Cordelia's hand roamed across my chest as she panted, a healthy blush on her cheeks.

"Hah. Alex…!" She gasped, pulling me closer and nuzzling into my chest. "I love you. I love you so, so much…! I-It would be improper if we took this further but…" I felt her breath against my skin. "Know that if I wanted... anyone, it would be you."

Despite my raging hormones, I knew that this was for the best. At least, for the moment. Besides, I was content with holding her as close to me as possible. It had been a long time since I'd felt her warmth against me in bed, and I'd've been damned if I fucked up somehow.

I held her in my arms the entire night.

* * *

We made it to the fortress just a week and a half after leaving Ylisstol. We camped just on the fringes of it, and I could see the menacing stonework from where we were. It was nowhere near as impressive as some places I've been to, but it was effective. A small army of former Plegian soldiers and bandits were inside, according to the reports from scouting Pegasus Knights. We had several men to one of theirs, and probably better trained, too. Every battle had its risk, though, and Robin wasn't taking any chances. He wanted siege weapons; trebuchets, towers, ladders, all that good stuff. Even if the fortress was small, and the army within unimpressive, that didn't mean we weren't going to take it seriously.

There were all sorts of things that could go wrong. My iron hand was the biggest reminder of that.

I re-entered the open tent, seeing Robin, Frederick, and Cordelia standing around a wooden table.

"Nothing's changed and no sign of Gaius so far." I said, placing my hand on the table and looking at the map. "Anyone else getting a little antsy?"

"Gaius is an accomplished thief. He will be back." Robin said assuredly, tracing a few drawings on the map of the fortress. "And with his intel, we may be able to finally get this thing underway."

"I am dubious of this plan of yours, Robin." Frederick said, his hands behind his back. "The reports indicated that these bandit raids were organized and precise. What of the leader? Should we not be wary of his plans as well?"

"Their leader is, to put it bluntly, either a fool or suicidal." Robin shook his head. "Yes, his raids are organized, but they also drew a lot of attention to his little hideout. He may have gathered a sizeable army for a bandit leader, but that means nothing when he knows that we can bring the full weight of the Ylissean military against him. In other words, he did it to attract attention. It would not make sense otherwise." He put a hand to his chin. "I have been operating under this assumption for some time. That is why I have had the men building trebuchets and other weapons. I expect him to do something drastic now that he has our attention."

Cordelia regarded Robin with narrowed eyes. "You've been talking about this leader a lot, Robin. Just who is he?"

"A Plegian General." Robin said simply. "I am surprised you don't know about him; Phila was the one who gave me the report that fit his criteria. He may have even been one we have encountered before."

"Commander Phila told me nothing of it." Cordelia mumbled.

"It is not as if it is important information, Cordelia," Robin brushed off. "Besides, you are following my orders. What does it matter?"

"Robin," I began, trying to get everything back on track. "You said this bastard might do something drastic. Are we just gonna wait around here for him to do that?"

Robin sighed. "I was hoping that Gaius would be here by now, but it appears he may have been-"

"Don't write me off for dead yet, Bubbles." A familiar voice said, just behind him. "It ain't like you to just write off a good friend like that, yeah?"

Robin looked like a cat as he screamed and buried his nails into the wood of the table. He spun around, his red eyes like dinner plates. Idly, I heard Cordelia stifle a small giggle.

"G-Gaius!" Robin gasped, coughing a little into his hand to compose himself. "I-I trust you have intel for us?"

"Last I checked, they're all gathering in the courtyard." Gaius began, sitting on the table like he owned the place. "Some of them look kinda sickly, though, like they've eaten one too many cupcakes. All pale and thin. Some of them, at least. Some of them look a bit more beefy, if you catch my meaning." He shrugged. "Besides that, they've got standard equipment for their type; rusty swords and axes, mostly. Saw a few polearms too but that was more the exception than the rule. Oh, and no cavalry as far as I could see."

"Armor?" Robin asked.

"Nothing too impressive. Just a few bits of metal strapped to their arms and legs, really," Gaius replied. "I almost feel sorry for these guys, but I dropped my lollipop because I thought one of 'em spotted me, so I don't have any mercy to spare. Rain hell down on 'em."

"That was more your fault than theirs, though." I pointed out.

"Maybe, but I can't take my anger out on myself, can I?"

I scoffed.

Robin ahem'd to get our attention. "That settles it then; I predict they will perform an all-out attack. They'll send as many men as they can into the fray to either cut us down with sheer ferocity or deter us from entering further. As I said, suicidal."

"Guide our swords then, Robin." Frederick said, looking at him sternly. "If what Marth said is true, then this will be an excellent chance to test your new army out."

"That it will be, Frederick." Robin agreed, smiling slightly before his usual serious expression took hold again. "I am going to box them in. Make sure that they have no way to flank our forces. Alex, you will be leading the vanguard; face them head on. Frederick, you will attack them from the south. I will descend from the north. Cordelia, your job is to have the Pegasus Knights assist wherever necessary. Provide as much aerial support as you can, and if they have flyers of their own, take them down."

"Got it."

"As you wish."

"Alright."

Gaius coughed into his fist. "What about me, Bubbles? I won't last long in a fight like this."

"Hmm." Robin hummed, hand to his chin. "Gaius, come with me. In fact, all three of us will have another Shepherd to accompany us."

I held up my hand. "Robin, just one more question."

Robin rose a brow. "What is it?"

"The, er,  _new recruits_ ," I began inconspicuously. "Where are they going in this whole plan?"

"Going with you, of course." Robin said easily. "You will need all the help you can get on the front lines. Besides, I've seen them train. They are… You know how impressive they are, correct? Especially Marth."

I wasn't averse to that idea. Not at all. There was something strangely nostalgic about the idea of it that I couldn't place.

"I trust you do not have a problem with this, Alex?" Robin asked.

"…No." I replied curtly. "No, I don't. Just asking."

"Very well. You have your answer then. Now…" Robin paused for a second. "…This is the first time I have planned a battle such as this since the end of the war. I appreciate you all trusting me with your lives. I have done and will continue to ensure that every single one of us will get out of this in one piece. That is the least I can do. Now!" Robin stood up straight. "We have a battle to win!"

* * *

The wind blew through my hair as I stared down at the fortress. It had a name, funnily enough: Dolorous Guard. There were all kinds of keeps and castles near the border with Plegia like it, built during the crusades. Mostly, they were used as waystations and strongholds to support troops on the front lines, although with Emmeryn's policies after Chrom's father's death, they fell into disrepair. Or, as was the case there and elsewhere, someone had taken up new residence.

It was a menacing thing, looking like something out of Dark Souls. It was almost like the stonework itself was supposed to give an image of violence. Nonetheless, we had to enter and take down an old Plegian General off his rocker, so there was no going back or running away.

To my right stood Lucina and Kjelle, and to my left, Owain. All kitted out and ready for battle. The rest of the army stood behind us, ready for either a charge or some other crap to come from the fortress.

"…You three ever kill someone before?" I asked curtly.

Lucina gave me a placid nod, Kjelle gritted her teeth, and while Owain still had a brave face on, he involuntarily shook. I nodded, closing my eyes.

"Thought so. Shit like that doesn't get easy. Believe me, I know." I opened my eyes and looked up. "But just remember: it's either us, or them. These fuckers have been raiding villages and taking people prisoner, so it's not like they don't have any blood on their hands. You're all experienced in combat, so I don't have to worry about one of you getting cut down while I'm not looking. But stick close; I'm gonna need your help once we get in there."

"As you wish, Sir Alexander. We will follow your lead." Lucina said quietly, unsheathing Parallel Falchion from its scabbard. "It will be… just like old times, I suppose."

"Or new times, depending on who you ask." I chuckled. "Anyway-!"

The sound of a horn blowing came from the fortress, descending upon the field where we would fight. Towards the front of Dolorous Guard was a massive portcullis, and I swore I almost heard the sound of rusted chains as it slid up, revealing the courtyard.

Men poured out of the opening like water out of a fountain, and several wyverns, from the looks of them, flew into the sky. They spread across the soon-to-be battlefield at an alarming pace, making a few of our soldiers take a step back out of fear.

I remembered when I was the same way; facing a seemingly endless enemy force down, the fear coursing through my veins, every bone and nerve in my body telling me to run, telling me to retreat.

This time, I stood strong. Putting my helmet on, I stared down the army charging us.

I unhooked the axe on my belt and examined it before the charging horde. It was a simple weapon, made of steel and brutally effective. Ordinarily I wouldn't use a weapon I didn't have a lot of experience in, but I was willing to do it this time, if only because practical experience would serve me better in the future.

I made a promise to myself back in Khadein, that I would get better at all sorts of weapons. Didn't intend to break that one.

Grabbing the handle and readying my shield, I got ready.

The closer the army ahead of us got, the more I could see what Gaius was talking about; they were emaciated, sick-looking guys that almost looked like a stiff breeze would bowl them over. Despite that, they kept charging, and soon, they were upon us.

They crashed into our ranks with a surprising amount of strength. Once they did, though, we immediately began fighting back.

I swung my axe, landing a blow smack-dab in the middle of someone's face. The crunch that came from their broken skull echoed in my ears as I pulled it out and let him fall to the ground. Feeling someone try to cut through my armor with a sword, I swung behind me and caught another bandit through the side. He shouted in pain as I wrenched the axe from his side and struck him through the chest.

Numbly, I remarked to myself how easy it was to kill regular people rather than draconic abominations. I hated that feeling, but I couldn't lie to myself. I felt nothing as I cut down men left and right with my axe. I accepted that part of myself; I may not have liked it, but it was necessary. Besides, it wasn't like I wasn't feeling  _anything_ , I'd just… grown numb to killing.

It was hard to believe that just about two years prior, I was worrying about turning in a writing assignment.

I saw Lucina cutting a swath through their forces with Parallel Falchion. She wielded it much like Chrom did; swinging it around with reckless abandon. She didn't need to have too much skill with it because she was just  _that damn strong_. Not to say her swordsmanship was bad; it was actually really good. But that's neither here nor there. Kjelle took on several opponents at once, their weapons battering against her armor ineffectually as her spear made quick work of their barely protected bodies. Owain, meanwhile, practically danced through the battlefield. He wasn't using Missiletainn, thank the Lord, but even with the ordinary steel sword he was using, he made mincemeat of the opposition. Nothing touched him either, as he easily dodged the enemy's attempted blows.

All in all, I was impressed.

A wyvern crashed in front of me, splintering scale and cracking bone filling my ears. The rider tried feebly to crawl from the ruined creature, which was swiftly stopped by me. Looking up, I saw the most one-sided aerial dog fight I'd ever seen. I thought I saw Cordelia, weaving in and out of the battle and spearing people. My lips pursed under my helmet.

_She'll be fine. She's been fighting for longer than you have._

I nodded to myself and kept going.

Soon enough, the entire enemy force was boxed in by our three-pronged attack. Despite that, however, they didn't surrender. In fact, they split into two. One half retreated back into the castle, while the rest stayed and fought against us.

That didn't last long, as my axe could attest.

And just like that, the battle was over. For the moment.

Casualties on our side were minimal. For the enemy, though, they lost more than half their troops in just about thirty minutes.

I found Robin near the entrance, which was still mysteriously open.

"This isn't right, Alex." He murmured, which made it a bit hard to hear him over the sound of literally everyone around us. "Not only were these troops pitiful, but they have kept the gate opened."

"No shit. I could've told you that. Smells like a trap." I said, panting a little. "We could pelt them with trebuchets from afar, you know."

"After the battle we just had, there is no way they could have many troops left, even if accounting for underground tunnels…" Robin brought a hand to his chin. "…This is going to be risky, I know, but there are no reports of any Dark Mages within or, Gods forbid, Grimleal. No Risen. Alex…" Robin looked at me. "The future, as unlikely as it seems, hinges on this. I know this sounds familiar, but…"

"You want me to go in there and kill shit, don't you?" I asked mildly. I sighed and shrugged. "Fair enough. This better not turn into another fucking Khadein, though. I want all the men we can spare to go in there with me. Frederick, too."

Robin nodded. "Done. I'd rather this not turn into a slog. That would be… Yes, that would be rather problematic. Let us get this over with so that we may return home." He took a step forward and put a hand on my shoulder. "Cordelia is fine, so I will be sending her in with you as well."

I felt myself smile a little at that, below the helmet. "A-Alright, then. You're right. Let's get this fucking ordeal over with then. If the bastards inside are anything like the ones we just fought, this'll be over before sundown."

* * *

The clanking of armor is all that I heard as we entered the courtyard. I stood on the left of Frederick, while Cordelia walked to his right.

"Are you alright, Alex?" Cordelia asked out of the blue.

I turned my head to her blearily. "Yeah, I'm fine. Gotta lotta endurance, you know? Can go for more than a few rounds."

"Gods, I wish I were like that. Only takes me a few minutes before I'm winded…" She sighed, twirling her spear a little. "That's nice to hear, though. I'm glad I'll have you watching my back."

"That's only if I'm not distracted looking at your face." I said without thinking.

The future kids were nearby, and I swore Kjelle said something that would have pissed me off if I actually heard it.

She sputtered as Frederick sighed. "Both of you, stop. Now. We have more important matters to handle." He looked up. "No one on the battlements… I question Robin's decision, but these brigands are asking for it. There must be something going on here."

"The guys we faced out there were basically  _zombies_ ," I said. "What would make the ones here any different? Hell, I saw a few of them retreat back here, but there's nothing."

"Their flyers were lacking as well." Cordelia remarked, looking up to the tall walls and desolate buildings. "I didn't lose a single Pegasus in that battle."

Frederick nodded. He turned to me. "Alexander, I want you to investigate the north wing. Cordelia, the south. I want this castle to be cleared before we confront the general."

Aye aye!" I replied, looking to Cordelia. "See ya 'round, sweetheart!"

"Stay safe, Alex." Cordelia smiled fondly.

* * *

Dolorous Guard wasn't much more friendly on the inside. In fact, it may have been even less friendly. The walls were dilapidated and broken, with the stonework practically coming apart as me and a group of men continued on. The only people we'd come across were lone survivors who were probably a part of the army that attacked us outside. They were… just wandering the halls, it seemed like. With no direction. It was creepy as all hell.

Besides the men, Kjelle was with me. She kept giving me this glance that I couldn't quite place, and it was making me uncomfortable.

Before we entered the north wing proper, though, I heard voices. Coming from what looked like a gatehouse of some sort.

Kjelle narrowed her eyes for a second before they opened as wide as plates when we approached the entrance to the small building. "Sir Alexander, I can't believe it, but-!"

I was already opening the door by the time she said that, and it made the voices on the other side clearer.

"Yarne and Laurent, we'll sneak out there and release them. Nah, you stay here. If we need you, you'll know. Noire? Get up high. If things go south, give us backup. And-" She stopped as she noticed me entering.

Red hair, so much like someone I know, followed by blue eyes so vibrant and familiar. They were my father's eyes, as clear as day. Her face was set into a frown as she noticed.

Bitterly, she said: "Oh. It's _you_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand a Cliffhanger. Yeah, I hate me too, but if I kept the rest of this inside one Chapter then it'll be very, very long. So you'll have to deal with this for a while lol.
> 
> Not much for me to say, really; this chapter speaks for itself.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	31. Firefight

For several moments, I was silent. Hell, the entire room was deathly quiet. Before me stood my daughter. Well, a future daughter. The feelings swirling within my chest ranged from happiness to weariness to fear and all things in between. I watched as her blue eyes stared straight at my visor, and her expression grew more and more agitated.

"Well?" Severa asked, tapping her foot. "Are you gonna say something? Anything? Or are you just gonna sit there and stare at me until the end of time?"

I swallowed the growing lump in my throat and turned around to the increasingly bemused men, as well as a very uncomfortable looking Kjelle. "Stay outside and close the door. Kjelle, you're with me. Make sure no one disturbs us."

"Yes, sir!" Kjelle said quickly.

One of the men nodded briskly, and a moment later, the door closed. I sighed and pulled off my helmet. "This ain't how I was expecting this to go at all."

"Oh, and what did you expect?" Severa asked pointedly, crossing her arms. "That I'd come running to you out of a field of flowers or some crap like that? So sorry to disappoint you, but that isn't happening."

"Severa, I would suggest you calm yourself." Laurent said, adjusting his glasses. "I have noticed you make poorer decisions when angered. Do not get carried away."

"Shove it, Laurent."

I shook my head and got a good look at the others with her. Noire had blonde hair, which confused me. She looked between me and Severa with panic in her eyes. Nah, with brown hair, sat on a crate nearby, her hands folded in her lap. Easily one of the smallest people I'd seen. Laurent was a tall dastard, nearly up to my height. Beyond that, though, he stood near Severa. Her second-in-command, I assumed. Yarne made me wince; the poor taguel was shivering like mad. He seemed to look at me with, well, the best way I could describe it would be like a rabbit looking at a hungry fox. Didn't make much sense to me, but I didn't exactly have time to do anything about that.

Beyond that, though, I couldn't comment.

"I certainly wasn't expecting to see you in the middle of a giant-ass bandit fortress, no." I replied, rubbing the back of my neck after I hooked my axe to my belt. "What the hell are you all even doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing!" Severa said, pointing at me. "Here I was wondering why a giant fucking army was attacking, but of course it'd be you. Can't help but play the hero, huh?"

I shook my head. "I'm not talking about me; I'm talking about you. Besides, this whole thing was Robin's idea. What are you doing here?"

Severa was about to reply before Noire, surprisingly, spoke up. "T-The man who controls this place, he's taken prisoners." She gulped. "S-Sev thinks that they're going to be sold into slavery…"

Almost as if a switch was flipped, her face twisted into the purest expression of rage I'd ever seen. The bow in her hands creaked as if it was about to snap. " **BLOOD and THUNDER!**  Damn them all to an eternity of hellish torment! To think I would almost be used as these poor fools… I'll shove arrows  _down all their_ _ **GULLETS!**_ "

"Who gave her the amulet again?" Nah sighed. "I thought we took that away. We told you you didn't need that, Noire."

"S-Sorry…"

I waved my iron hand. "Alright, alright! So you came to rescue some slaves, then? Fair enough. Though that makes you a hypocri- Nevermind." I sighed to myself. "God, this is a shitshow…"

Severa narrowed her eyes. "It wouldn't have been if Robin didn't bring an entire goddamn army here. We would've freed the slaves and gotten out of here in no time, but now, fuck that, right?"

"Okay,  _listen_." I growled unintentionally. "We're here to test the army so that when Valm arrives, shit won't go sideways. Robin is going to fucking save  _lives_ , so I'd appreciate it if you didn't show him disrespect."

Severa scoffed. "Whatever,  _dad_. Not like it matters, anyway. We're still gonna save them. Why don't you run off without me again and never come back? Pretty sure you won't have to deal with me again if you do that."

"I don't think so." I shook my head. Had to be careful not to lose my head. I knew, vaguely, how Severa operated in, well… what was the word? Canon? Anyway, I had to have patience with her. "Come with us. Far as I know, we need all the help we can get. I've… got a bad feeling about this place. Something's in the air. I can feel it."

"Can you feel how much I don't want to do that? I'm pretty sure it's radiating off my body." Severa asked sardonically.

"Look, you're mad." I began, crossing my arms, trying to keep my expression neutral. "I get that. I never even got to say goodbye in the future, did I?" Severa's eyes widened. "Didn't think so. That's what has you so fucking pissed right now, isn't it? I don't know why I did something like that, hell, I barely know what happened in the future; Lucina isn't very forthcoming at the best of times, but…" I took a deep breath. "Fuck it, after this, we're going to have a long,  _long_ talk, alright? Just help us for right now. We'll clean up the rest of this racket and, well…"

I saw Severa visibly grit her teeth. Her hands balled up into fists, and for a second it looked as if she wanted to say something. After a moment, though, it appeared she calmed down. "Alright,  _fine_. We'll go with you. But, just so you know…" She fixed me with a vicious glare. "I'm not doing this because I  _want_ to or anything, so don't get that stupid idea in your head."

I nodded. "Sure. And everyone else?"

"They'll follow me." She waved off. "We've been together for a long time."

"No shit?" I said, nodding. "Alright then. Frederick's in the courtyard, Cordelia's in the south wing-"

"Mom's here!?" Severa blurted out, eyes wide. After a second, she blinked and huffed. "Nevermind."

"…Uh huh." I hummed, frowning. "We were just about done with this area, so we were gonna head to the center and take out this former general asshole. Whoever the fuck he is. Once that's done, we'll probably head back to Ylisstol."

"So you just have this whole thing planned out, then? Oh wait, I meant  _Robin_ did. Christ…" Severa wiped her forehead and turned to the other future children. "Alright, since my air-headed dad came charging in here, a small change of plans. Nah, you're still staying here. I've got a feeling seeing a dragon flying overhead would raise a shit ton of questions. Everyone else? We're gonna follow my dad and kill General Bakar."

I rose a brow. "General Bakar?"

"Yeah, that's his…" Severa looked at me like I was the dumbest creature on the planet. "You… You didn't even know who you were fighting?"

"Robin didn't fucking tell me a lot, alright?" I replied, my lips pursing. "Besides, what does it matter? He was gonna die anyway. Now he'll just be another corpse with a name."

Severa stared at me with half-lidded eyes before shaking her head. "Whatever. I guess you're right about that. Anyway, Laurent, Noire, Yarne, you're all with me. Let's go."

"I-I'm not going!" Yarne squeaked, the poor taguel shivering like hell. "N-Not with him!"

Severa sighed. "Yarne, come on, this is ridiculous! I thought you got over this when-!"

"He has the eyes of a hunter! Look!" Yarne pointed a clawed finger at me. It was funny having a taguel be absolutely terrified of  _me_ for a change. "H-He'll skin me and hang me up and then the taguel will go extinct-!"

"Yarne, shut up for fuck's sake!" Severa shouted, causing the timid taguel to curl up into a ball. "Jesus…" Severa sighed. "Look, Yarne-"

No one interrupted Severa this time. Instead, it felt as if the world itself interrupted her. Or, that's what it felt like when the entire fortress shook. Pieces of masonry and stone fell to the floor as the ground beneath us shook.

"Kjelle, check the door!" I ordered, trying to keep myself balanced.

"Did Robin use goddamn  _trebuchets_  or something!?" Severa shouted, steadying herself.

"We built a few, but we didn't get to use them." I shook my head as Kjelle opened the door. "He won't use them now that we're inside. I don't-!"

"S-Sir, you need to see this!" Kjelle called from the doorway.

I sighed. A thousand different scenarios played out in my head, all of them unpleasant. Had Robin gone mad and actually used the goddamned trebuchets while we were still inside? Or was Dolorous Guard another Khadein, and shit was about to hit the fan? I pushed forward and looked out one of the many windows into the courtyard from the hallway. The men around me were whispering as Severa and the rest of the future children followed me outside.

I nearly did a double take at what I saw.

_The dead are rising. The Risen._

The corpses of the men we'd slaughtered just minutes before rose up, their skin turning an unearthly purple and their eyes becoming red spotlights. Frederick and his soldiers were still in the courtyard, and it was clear they were taken by surprise. Despite that, Frederick seemingly ordered them to form up, and the men under his command did their best to hold the legion of Risen off.

"G-Gawd!" Severa stuttered, taking a step back. "I-I didn't-!"

" _Everyone, outside, now!_ " I shouted, causing everyone to look at me. "We need to back 'em up!

Conversation would have to come later. At that moment, Frederick needed our help.

* * *

I hadn't fought the Risen in over a year. Hell, the last time I'd even heard about them was when Phila reported that they apparently completely disappeared from the face of the planet. Despite that, I had to relearn quickly. If I didn't, well, I'd probably become one of them. And I'd be damned before I let that happen. At least, before I could have a conversation with…

With my daughter. Christ, how that felt. It was surreal.

Fighting Risen was pretty simple, from what I remembered. They were stronger than your average human, obviously, but they were also dumb as bricks. You had to use that to your advantage, or they'd swarm you and beat you to a bloody pulp.

We barged into the courtyard and swiftly moved in to assist. There were at least five Risen to every living man before we did, so our arrival evened the odds just a bit. The familiar sound of the dead moaning reached my ears as I unhooked my axe and lodged it into the skull of one of them, seeing its black blood fall to the ground like a waterfall.

_It'll be over soon._

The body fell to the ground and dissipated into blackish-purple smoke.

The rest of the troops, along with the future children, made their move. A new battle had broken out between the living and the dead, and the ground ran black and red with the blood of the fallen.

I blinked, shaking those thoughts away as I cut down another perversion of nature.

Every so often, I'd look at what the children were doing. Nah had stayed behind, like Severa ordered, but everyone else was still around. I watched as Laurent flamed a Risen to death, turning it to ash before it could fade normally. Yarne, despite being a taguel, was using a  _sword_  of all things. Kjelle and Owain, who had stayed with Frederick when we all spread out, were back to back, fighting Risen like there was no tomorrow. Noire stood to the back, sniping Risen like fish in a barrel. Almost every single shot was a headshot, sending them to the ground.

And then there was Severa. She was cutting Risen down with her sword like she was made for it. A strange, detached expression was on her face.

_Focus on the fight in front of you, boy scout._

I followed my inner voice's advice and kept  _thwacking_ undead monsters with my trusty axe.

Even with the combination of our forces, we were still being pushed back. Like we were being herded somewhere. The Risen were pushing our forces towards the keep, where two big doors sat open.

It was like looking into the maw of a giant beast. And oddly enough, I felt like I'd been in a situation just like it before.

A war cry came from nearby, and another group of soldiers came charging to our aid. Cordelia's merry band slammed into the side of the Risen, pushing them back long enough for us to gain a foothold and hold the line. The gorgeous redhead herself, despite being trained to fight in the air or with height advantage, practically  _melted_ the Risen with her flawless spearwork.

With her help, the Risen began falling like wheat to the scythe. Soon enough, there were only a few stragglers left that were easily taken care of.

"Alexander, Cordelia, report!" Frederick barked as we assembled.

"We found nothing, Commander." Cordelia said first, planting her spear into the ground. "That was, until the fortress began vibrating…"

"Nothing in the north wing too- er, well…" I looked to the newly arrived future kids, standing awkwardly nearby. "Found a few new friends."

"Indeed?" Frederick asked quietly, walking over to them. "Who are you?"

Severa crossed her arms, eyeing Cordelia a little. "…Just wandering mercenaries, sir."

"Wandering mercenaries, in the middle of a fort held by bandits." Frederick summarized, his eyes narrowing. "Either you were here for a job, or Alexander is trying to cover for you. I cannot imagine why he would attempt to lie, so I will give you the benefit of the doubt. What is your purpose here?"

"We are here to free the slaves the repugnant general of this fortress has captured, sir." Laurent spoke up, his robes billowing a little as he took a step forward. "These brigands have been taking prisoners for some time now. We sought to free them without causing a ruckus, but-"

"But then you guys came crashing in and now the whole thing's gone to hell!" Severa said, exasperated. "Christ… we'll help you for the time being. Not like things are gonna get better now."

"I would welcome the help, but know that my eyes are on you at all times. My duty is first and foremost to milord, and he bade me take this fortress in his name, with the Grandmaster Tactician's help." Frederick warned, turning around.

"Kinda creepy, but alright." Severa muttered, this time blatantly staring at Cordelia for a few moments.

Apparently, this didn't go unnoticed by her, as she came up to me a moment later. "…Alex?"

I blinked, trapped in my own little world for a moment. Turning to her, I asked: "Yeah? Something wrong?"

"Not so much wrong, no, but…" She turned her head to regard Severa, who was cleaning her blade before we went traipsing into the central keep. "I've caught her staring at me. And she looks… familiar, somehow."

"I wonder why." I muttered to myself. "Look, I… uh, I don't have a clue. She and her friends were camping out in one of the rooms in the north wing and I kinda just… eh, what the hell, right?" I continued, distractedly. "Shit happens all the time. Besides, it'll be-"

"Alex, you're lying to me."

I felt my stomach drop into my pelvis as I whirled around, only to feel her gauntleted hand on my pauldron.

"If you're wondering how I know, you always look away when you lie." She said softly, looking down. "And you tend to ramble. It's a little cute, honestly, but…" She looked up and stared me in the eye. "I'm not sure what exactly is going on, but I know there's  _something_ happening. Her group is connected to Marth, aren't they?"

I pursed my lips, and like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar, I couldn't say a damned thing. I was, however, able to manage a nod.

"I thought so." Cordelia said, smiling slightly. "I won't pry much further, considering we are still in a warzone, but…" She leaned closer. "Please, tell me what's going on, when this is all over. I swear to you that I will understand, whatever it is."

_Dear God, I don't deserve you._

"…Goddamnit, don't make me cry in the middle of a fort!" I chuckled, wiping my eyes a little.

"Is there anything I can do to fix that?" She asked, a small, teasing hint to her voice.

Despite everyone around us, I leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips. She giggled, blushing a little.

"There, now I feel like I could take on the entire world." I boasted, placing my fists on my hips.

"Gods, how can you say things like that with a straight face?" Cordelia sighed, although a smirk was still on her lips. "I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be a little upset that you've kept a secret, but Naga, I just can't. Hah!"

I nodded, sparing a glance to Severa nearby.

I nearly balked at her sickly expression; it looked like she was about to throw up. Or she was doing it on purpose to make us uncomfortable. Considering she gave me a mocking smirk a second later, it was probably the latter.

"…She has a spirit to her, I will give her that." Cordelia observed, frowning at Severa. This seemingly got to her, as her shoulders slumped with what I could only assume was guilt.

"Yeah," I replied. "Tell me about it. You haven't even talked to her yet."

* * *

We stood at the doors of the keep, ready to go in and put an end to the shit show that was Dolorous Guard.

I had to be honest, I was getting sick of going into ruined cesspits and killing abominations. Khadein was more than enough for me. But, at least this time it was the kind of bullshit I knew how to handle. The Draconians in Khadein were monsters, but the Risen were just zombies. They also weren't immune to slashing weapons, at least the ones without heavy armor.

Realizing I was rambling to myself, I shook my head.

Most of the men would stay outside, along with most of the future children. I saw Severa and Lucina trade gazes, but I couldn't read the subtext behind that. Not when I was still in 'rip and tear' mode, at least. Besides, there was more important shit to worry about.

Like killing General Bakar. Severa wasn't very forthcoming about who he was, and I chalked that up to her knowing very little about him. Nonetheless, if Robin decided it wasn't important that we know about it, I'd take his word for it.

Five of us, including a squad of soldiers, were going inside. Me, Cordelia, Frederick, Severa, and Kjelle.

_Seriously, with these goddamn flashbacks._

"Is everyone ready?" Frederick asked, his silver spear shining in the sun. After a quick affirmation, he took the first step. "Good. Everyone, with me. We will end this."

That was one big difference; Frederick had been leading us ever since we entered the fortress. Well, that and we had ample access to sunlight. That was a big plus, in my book.

The main hall of Dolorous Guard yawned before us, small bits of rubble littering the ground from the shockwave from earlier. Rotten banners adorned the pillars, depicting a serpent eating a lion. A little unnerving to look at, but I'd seen worse.

I spared another glance at Severa. The more I looked at her, the more I could see our similarities. Her eyes were just like mine, beside the color, and her hair curled at the tips. She saw me looking at her, and promptly pursed her lips and turned her head away from me.

I swiveled my head to stare at Kjelle, who only shrugged.

_I am fixing this shit._

I could think of a million different reasons why Severa would be so upset at me. Then wasn't the time to think about them all. All I could do was burn it into my head to talk with her after General Bakar was dead.

Eventually, we made it far enough in that we could see the throne. The throne room of Dolorous Guard was just as dilapidated as the rest of it; broken and rotting. The carpet appeared to have been eaten by insects in multiple places, and the entire area had this awful smell to it, like rotting meat.

"Everyone, ready your weapons." Frederick ordered, approaching the throne. "I doubt this General Bakar will surrender."

"No shit." Severa mumbled.

A loud guffaw echoed across the walls of the chamber, making it sound like it was coming from multiple directions.

"Welcome, Ylisseans!" The loud, gravelly voice said. "Welcome to my humble abode! Would you like me to grab the tea and pies? I'm afraid we don't have any to spare, but if you take a step closer, I'm sure my hammer can be a worthy substitute."

I saw him on the throne, sitting lazily. A giant of a man with tan skin and brown eyes. His brown hair trailed all the way down to his shoulders, and looked as if it hadn't been washed in months. A shaggy beard came from his face, that moved with every movement of his mouth. He smiled at us, the armor he wore clanking a little as he sat up. In his right hand was a Warhammer. An ugly thing with a head flattened to a point on one side, and a hook-like protrusion on the other. I became unnerved just by looking at it; something was wrong about it. Something ungodly.

"General Bakar." Frederick intoned. I swore, I'd seen something like the scene playing before me in a book. A Knight in light armor vs. the asshole with a hammer. "We have come on behalf of the Halidom of Ylisse. You have been raiding villages for months. Today, we put an end to you and all those who follow you."

Another laugh, sounding suitably unhinged, came from General Bakar. He leaned forward, still tittering even as he spoke. "I should expect no less from Ylissean Knights! Ah, but you are not just any Ylissean Knight, hmm? No, and those other two who follow you, are special. You are Frederick the Wary, Retainer to the Exalt Chrom and Knight-Commander of Ylisse! I am flattered that they saw me as such a threat that they brought the full might of yourself and the Ylissean army against me! Ahah! And this lovely lass here… Yes, you would be Cordelia, Flight-Captain of the Pegasus Knights. That hair is unmistakable!"

I gripped the handle of my axe tighter.

"What, nothing to say?" Bakar said mockingly, that same damn smile on his face. "Pah, you're boring. Just like those Pegasus Knights before you. The day King Gangrel and I felled them from the sky… Ah, that was beautiful."

_There's no way. Robin, why didn't you-!?_

I looked to Cordelia, and the expression I saw made my heart break. I'd never seen her face look as  _murderous_ as it did then. As far as I knew, only Gangrel was part of the contingent that took over Ylisstol. And, by extension, essentially killed all of Ylisse's Pegasus Knights. But if what this guy was saying was true, well…

I saw Cordelia grip her spear tighter. It looked as if she would snap at any moment. It was a wonder she was even keeping it together. I noticed Severa's worried expression out of the corner of my eyes, but I ignored it for that moment.

"And lastly, the Hero of Khadein himself, Alexander of the Iron Hand!" Bakar's toothy grin was aimed in my direction. "Oh yeah, tales of what happened there have spread even to this dungpit. A Knight sworn in service to the Grandmaster Tactician. By Grima, I have been given the biggest damn plate of Knights I could've asked for-!"

" _Silence!_ " Frederick roared. "By order of the crown of Ylisse, you die this day, General Bakar!"

"Is that so, Frederick the Wary!?" Bakar shouted, standing up and hefting his Warhammer. "It is so like Ylisseans to ceaselessly fight! Come then, fools. Knightbane will make quick work of your cowardly, steel hides! Men, to me! Let us crush these Ylisseans like bugs underneath our boots!"

The room  _exploded_ in an awful maelstrom of sound as Risen arrived, coming from every corner of the desolate throne room. In an instant, we were locked in a battle against the purple-skinned zombies.

In that moment, I let loose. I swung my axe like a man possessed, cutting apart rotting flesh and spilling black blood to the ground in gallons. Every so often, I would catch a glimpse of what was going on around me. The men that followed us were doing their best, I'd give them that. You had to have some serious balls to face Risen without prior experience, and while it was clear as day that many of them were nearly shitting themselves out of fear, they were still moving and fighting.

Frederick and Bakar locked weapons, sparks falling to the ground as they clashed together. Bakar swung his Warhammer, Knightbane it was called I guessed, like it was an extension of himself, using its great weight to push Frederick back. Or at least to try; Frederick wasn't giving up any ground. The Knight-Commander was like an impenetrable stone wall, and blocked or parried whatever Bakar tried. Despite this, however, Bakar didn't look put off or angry; he was still smiling like a madman. The entire time.

It sent a shiver down my spine. I felt it even through the haze that had taken over my mind once the fighting began.

The others were doing well, at least. Cordelia, despite Bakar's provocations, was cutting Risen down with her spear with relative ease. For Kjelle and Severa, though, it was easy to see that they were  _experts_ at that kind of shit; not only were they watching each other's back, but every so often they'd switch places. Like a tag team maneuver.

Even then, though, that couldn't last forever.

" _I think that's enough of a warm-up, don't you? Come on, then! Show me how much more you've got!_ " General Bakar shouted, his voice booming across the room as his Warhammer glowed with an unearthly light. Purple swirled around the head, an unnatural shade of it that nearly blinded me. And, with a massive swing, he swung the hammer into the ground.

All I saw was the ceiling as I was blown off my feet by the shockwave, a strong sense of déjà vu overtaking me for a second before I grumbled and got up.

That was the plan, at least, before a Risen jumped on me, slamming my back into the floor.

It snarled at me like a dog, its rotten teeth bared as it tried to claw at me. I swung my axe up and into its head, causing small droplets of black blood to fall onto my face. The vicious red eyes of the Risen disappeared, and before it had a chance to dissipate, I shoved it off me.

My mind was eerily calm that entire time. Like I wasn't really there.

I turned over and looked up to see Cordelia helping Severa up. Seeing them both together like that was… Well, it warmed my heart but also filled me with a sense of… The emotion was hard to place, but the best word I could come up with was 'longing'.

_She'd take Cordy's hand, but you're not sure she'd even look at yours._

Another thing I filed away for later.

As far as I could tell, the battle was still going on, despite the shockwave. The sounds of swords and spears clanking against shields and axes was almost nostalgic, in a way. Even then, I didn't sit around for long; I got to my feet and kept fighting. What else could I do? Apparently, it was  _all_ I could do.

I halted in my tracks when I heard Frederick cry out in pain.

My gaze instantly snapped to where he was, only to see General Bakar standing over him, and unearthly purple fire blazing on his Warhammer's head. Melted metal from Frederick's armor fell from it, and I could see a point of impact in his side.

"You see this, Frederick the Wary?" Bakar sneered, holding Knightbane aloft. "A boon granted to me by the Fell Dragon himself, as a reward for my faithfulness! Count yourself lucky that you shall be the first to taste its power!" Bakar swung the hammer upwards. " _Die!_ "

The Warhammer hit Frederick right in the chest, sending him careening through the air and slamming to the ground a fair distance away.

_…He's not moving._

Everything felt silent. Wrong. Dark. A weird taste filled my mouth as my stomach dropped. A burning that came from my chest, not unlike when I saw Donnel die, permeated throughout my body.

While Bakar sat there gloating, and everyone else was too preoccupied with Risen, I moved. My body shot forward of its own accord. Without realizing it, as if by extinct, I held my right arm back.

Once I was in striking distance, my right arm surged forward like a piston, slamming my iron hand directly into General Bakar's face. Blood sprayed from him as he took a staggered step back.

Meanwhile, I felt an ungodly pain in my right arm, but I didn't care. I had to do something.  _Anything_. If fighting was what I was good at, then I'd better do it.

Easier said than done, though. The giant was back on his guard within moments, blocking every blow that came close to him. He laughed again, a laugh that echoed in my ear drums and in my chest. He wasn't laughing when someone stabbed him from behind.

_Cordelia._

She snarled, an unnatural sound from her, when her spear went through Bakar's back. Bakar shouted in pain again, trying to swing his Warhammer around.

Severa came just in time before he succeeded, plunging her sword into the man's side. He fell to his knees, then, completely exhausted and bleeding profusely.

The wretch looked at me, his broken smile burning itself into my eyes. "S-So it's the Hero of Khadein that strikes me down then, is it?" Bakar spat out, broken teeth falling to the ground as blood pooled out of his mouth. A giant, blue patch adorned the left side of his face. "Pity. Being killed by the Flight-Captain would have made for a better stor-!"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. Having an axe cleave through your skull would do that to you.

His mouth opened and closed like a fish, going cross-eyed as blood trickled down his face. A moment later, he fell to the ground with a 'clang'.

I blinked, sudden clarity overcoming the haze from before. Leaving my axe buried in Bakar's head, I snapped my gaze in Frederick's direction. The Great Knight was laid out nearby, unmoving.

I ran. My right arm felt numb and my nerves felt frazzled, but I didn't care. I skidded to a halt and knelt next to Frederick.

His armor was  _brutalized_. Knightbane had gone straight through it, smashing what laid underneath. What wasn't broken had been melted by the purple flames. His face was the worst; a pained expression, followed by a faint trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth.

_Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck_

" _Frederick!_ " I shouted, lifting him up a little. Realizing it probably wasn't the best idea to move him like that, I let him down. It did nothing to assuage the panic flowing through me. "Frederick,  _open your eyes, goddamnit! You're stronger than this!_ " I looked to the people around me. " _Someone, help me! We gotta…_ " I trailed off. "We gotta…!"

The sound of labored breathing got my attention. I looked down, seeing Frederick open his eyes. It looked like he was a fish out of water; he laid there gasping for air. His breathing was shallow and set-sounding, like something was clogging up his throat.

_Of course something is clogging his throat up. Do you see his chest, boy scout? You need to get him out of here._

"Someone, get over here!" I ordered, wrapping Frederick's right arm around my shoulder. "We need to get him out of here!" I turned to the Great Knight.

Memories of the last time this happened flooded my head as a soldier came up to assist me. I regarded nothing else as we left Dolorous Guard.

* * *

I played with my iron hand a little as I sat outside the medical tent, wincing a little as small sparks of pain surged through the stump. In hindsight, punching Bakar was probably a bad move. I didn't regret doing it, but the stump where my right hand used to be sure did.

Looking to the sky, I tried to get my breathing under control. The battlefield high hadn't worn off yet, and that was making it difficult to think. Difficult to do anything, really. I didn't even know where everyone was; I was too focused on my thoughts. A dangerous thing, considering my track record. I couldn't help it, though.

Sighing, I shook my head.

"…Alex," I heard a voice come from ahead of me. Looking up, I saw the familiar, lithe form of Robin, all swaddled up in his coat. I grimaced looking at him. "What… What the hell happened in there?"

"You don't know?" I asked blankly. "The Risen. They were there. All those soldiers we killed? Infected or some shit, and when this giant fucking shockwave came outta nowhere, they rose from the ground and attacked us again."

Robin was silent as I leaned back, looking up at the sky again.

"Then there was the General you told us nothing about. General Bakar. He had this Warhammer. Knightbane, he called it. Don't know exactly what he did or what it is, but he hit Frederick with it and tore him and his armor to shreds. You know he's in there now, right? And I'm not sure if he's gonna be alive tomorrow, even with several healers in there with him."

I laughed airily. "You know, it's funny, Robin." I said, a grim smile on my face. "Whenever you send me somewhere, something goes to hell. When I went to Khadein shit went sideways. When you took me with you here, Frederick almost fucking bites it. What's the goddamn deal!? Why does…" I gulped, trying to get my emotions under control. "Robin, why does everything go wrong? Why can't…? Why can't something go right for once?"

Robin sat next to me. "…I have been asking myself that same question for the past few hours." He began. "By all accounts, this was a success; General Bakar lies dead, with only minimal casualties on our end, despite the Risen. And yet…" He paused. "…and yet, I'm not satisfied. It sems whenever I draw up a strategy, by all accounts, almost everyone gets out alive, except for one thing. An injury. Or a death." I saw him look down and close his eyes. "Maybe if I had told you about General Bakar, Frederick's life would not be in danger. I'm sorry about that. I should have, but I didn't. I… I didn't think it was important, so I thought it wasn't important for you to know."

I turned to him. "Robin?"

"It would appear that I have much to learn, even still." Robin said quietly, folding his hands in his lap. "I should have told you about Bakar either way. That was my mistake."

I nodded. In reality, I wasn't sure if Robin telling us about him would have helped. There was no way he could have known he had a fucking magical Warhammer.

"I can only hope Frederick forgives me," Robin murmured. "And Cordelia, as well. She has not so much as looked in my direction since you all came back."

I blinked. Cordelia. How could I have…?

"Is she alright?" I asked suddenly.

"She appears to be keeping it together well enough." Robin nodded. "I think a visit from you could improve her mood. I wasn't… I did not mean any harm by not telling you all everything. Honest, I didn't. But I wouldn't blame her if she thinks as much."

"I'll… I'll go talk to her in a second, but… One more thing, Robin." I rubbed the back of my head. "The future kids, there were a few more of them when we entered the fortress. Are they…?"

"Five of them?" Robin held up his hand. "Yes, they are here. The redheaded one in particular seemed adamant on staying." Robin looked at me seriously. "Alex, she's yours and Cordelia's, isn't she?"

I pursed my lips. "She is, yeah." I sighed, holding my head in my hand. "She… uh, doesn't like me, all too much, I think." I rubbed my forehead. "Something I did in the future must have ticked her off. I don't…" I closed my eyes. "I-It hurts, to be honest with you, man."

Robin put a hand on my shoulder. "We will discuss more of what occurred here when we return to Ylisstol." He whispered. "For now, take all the time you need to… er,  _recover_ , as it were. Just, relax."

I looked to the ground, just counting the blades of grass in my head. "Yeah, sure."

* * *

In the end, I didn't meet with Cordelia that day. We may have been lovers, but I knew when someone had to be alone for a little while. The things Bakar said would've done that to me. I may have been presumptuous when I thought she'd do the same thing I'd do, but sometimes it  _did_ help to be alone. Not for an extended period of time, obviously, but for a short time. I'd talk with her the next day.

There was, however, one person who I couldn't just leave waiting.

I found her sharpening her sword on a crate. The sparks of the whetstone she was using briefly illuminating her blank expression.

I took a deep breath before approaching. "…Severa?" I called.

She paused, looking up. Goddamn, those eyes. They were almost  _exactly_ like my own dad's.

"What is it?" She asked curtly, frowning.

The more she did that, the more it hurt.

I looked around a little to make sure no one was overhearing us. Once that was done, I beckoned her over to me. "Come on. Let's go… uh,  _talk_. Somewhere private."

She blinked, looking down. A small grimace overcame her for a moment before she stood up. "Fine. Whatever." She grumbled. "Lead the way, then."

We came upon a forest clearing, with several fallen logs on the ground. Fading light filtered through the trees in a serene picture.

I sat down on one of the logs, looking up. "Why don't you sit down?"

"Are you kidding me?" Severa said, disgusted. "Sit on a dirty old log that's been laying there for Gawd knows how long? Grow up."

I sighed; I was too tired to really feel angry. "Alright, then. Just keep standing up." I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. "I… I know I'm your father. Or, the me of the future was your father. I don't…" I closed my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose. "What did he… What did  _I_ do to make you so… so hostile to me? I wasn't… I wasn't that bad, was I?"

I saw Severa visibly clench her fist as I said that. I couldn't tell if she was about to assault me or bawl her eyes out.

"…You were the worst." She hissed. "Do you know what it was like, living without a mom and having a dad that would always charge out onto the front lines to fight a war he couldn't win!?" She was almost shrieking at that point, like she'd been bottling it up for a long time. "Every day, I just wanted you to come home! You cared more for some dumb promise you made than for your own daughter-!"

She blinked, but I could only really guess that. It was hard to tell with my eyes going blurry.

Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as my body wracked with quiet sobs. Maybe everything Severa had said, or everything that had happened that day, or a combination of both. I just couldn't take it anymore.

"H-Hey…!" Severa said. "I-I didn't mean to…! Christ, I shouldn't have…"

"I'm sorry, kid." I mumbled out, sniffling.

"W-What…?"

"I'm…" I found it difficult to form words. "I'm sorry you had to be saddled with me as your dad, kid. I should've known that it would've been this way. What Lucina said… That's not a father a kid should have. You deserve better. Any kid deserves better than that. I just… I'm sorry for everything." I spat bitterly. "I thought I would've been able to patch things up if shit was wrong, but…" I took one last, shuddering breath. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry-!"

Whatever I was about to say was cut off as something slammed into me. I felt wetness on my shoulder as the person who clung to me did so as if their life depended on it.

"I-I'm the one who's supposed to apologize, idiot!" Severa cried. "I didn't… I didn't mean everything I said, okay!? I was just… blowing hot air. You were the best father I could have asked for, before everything… before mom…!" She sobbed harder. "I-I'm sorry. T-There, I said it! N-Now stop crying, goddamnit, you're making me…!"

She paused once I wrapped my arms around her. Then, if it was possible, she started crying even harder.

_Maybe it's not so hopeless after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's fucked, yo. We learn little by little what Future Alex was like, and that picture's getting uglier by the second.
> 
> Ain't it beautiful?
> 
> One more thing. I've commissioned a full body portrait of Alex. It should be done in a few weeks, and when I get it I'll be sure to share it with you guys. Hope you're as excited as I am!
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	32. Full Disclosure

I held Severa,  _my daughter_ , in my arms for I didn't know how long. And honestly, I didn't care. Through her cries, I could occasionally hear an apology, or a curse. Curses that sounded so much like my own. Despite all that, with her tears soaking into my tunic, I was…  _happy._  Not because she was crying, God no. It was because of the meaning behind those tears. That maybe, just maybe, I had a shot. That I could, Lord willing, become something akin to a father. That the bridge wasn't completely burned down by my future self.

I'd always wanted to be a father, someday. I didn't expect it to happen with a time-travelling daughter from the future, but hell, beggars couldn't be choosers.

_Do you think her being so like you is a good thing, boy scout? When you're already so similar to me?_

I ignored my inner voice. There, I continued to hold her until all her tears had been shed, and she calmed down.

"…Gawd, look what you made me do." Severa sniffled, crossing her arms. "I-I'm not supposed to be breaking down like this! T-Those four looked up to me for over a year and then just a couple words with you and I…"

"There's nothing wrong with letting it go, Severa." I shook my head. "Hell, you saw me a little while ago. I wasn't in the best state of mind, was I? Now, though, I feel… a whole helluva lot better. How about you?"

Severa pursed her lips, looking away from me. "I guess I feel a little bit better."

I chuckled, feeling a bit lighter. "Thatta girl! You're already better at letting your feelings go than your mother."

Severa sighed. "At least I have something over her, then…"

My smile faltered. Looking down, I thought of the exact words I wanted to say. After a few moments, I nodded.

"H-Hey! What're you-!?"

"Severa." I said with conviction, holding one of her hands in mine. "I'm a fucking idiot. I really am. But, and you better believe me when I say this, I'll try my damndest to be a better father than future me ever was. You didn't deserve that kind of treatment from me or anyone. No matter what, I'm gonna try and… and make this right."

Severa stared at me for a few seconds, seemingly unbelieving, before her lips quivered. She wiped at her face. "N-No, you already got me to cry once, not again! B-But…" She smiled then. Small, but it was there. "Thank you, dad. I really appreciate that."

I smirked. "No problem, kid." I stood up, stretching. "Alright, guess all that's left to do now is, uh…"

Severa raised a brow. "Do what?"

I adjusted a few fingers on my iron hand, which Severa saw. She looked at me with increasing nervousness. "What? What are we gonna do? Just spit it out!"

"Your mom." I said finally. "She's, uh… She's very smart. Like,  _really_  smart. At some point she's gonna…"

Severa looked at me confusedly for a moment before her eyes widened. "You mean… You want to tell her about  _me?_  But I'm… I'm not ready for that. I barely even knew her in the future!"

I looked down again, unwilling to look her in the eye as I asked: "How old were you when she… when she died?"

Severa paused. After a moment, though, she answered. "…I was only six or… maybe seven. I don't like to think about it."

"I never even lived it, and I don't either." I shook my head. "Like I said, your mom is smart. She's already figured out  _something_ is going on, what with these fucking time travelers. Yarne and Nah probably clued her in even more. Hell, I'm surprised no one but Robin knows that Marth is Chrom's daughter; they have the same exact sword!"

Severa crossed her arms again. A tic I was beginning to take note of. "Alright,  _fine_. If it's really so important that we do this, I guess I won't have a problem with it. But just to let you know, I still don't think it's a good idea. How long have you two even been together?" Her face grew sour. "I saw that little display back in the fortress, so I know that… that I'm probably… Oh Gawd, why!?"

"Calm down! Jesus, we haven't gone that far. Not yet, at least." I added, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. "I mean, not that I'd mind if we did. Your mom… phew, she's-!"

"I'm not listening, I'm not listening,  _lalalalalalaaaaa_!" Severa covered her ears and walked around like a headless chicken. Honestly, it was hilarious.

"Oh,  _please_ , it's not that bad. I could be a whole lot worse, ya know!" I laughed, standing up. "Your mom does have a lot on her plate right now. No doubt about that. Especially with the fight we just went through, but…" My face became serious. "I already promised her that I'd talk to her about this. Like I said, she's already figured out  _something's_ up. I'd rather she hear it from both me and you rather than have her figure it out completely by herself."

"I mean…" Severa trailed off before sighing. "I guess so. You used to say things like that before… well, yeah."

"Something to do with a band-aid, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, something like that." Severa looked down, avoiding my gaze. It was so weird, seeing all the little tics that we both shared. "…You really do love her, don't you? Mom, I mean?"

I nodded without a moment of hesitation. "I do. She's the best thing that's ever come into my life. With her, I feel like I belong. That I'm… That I'm finally home. I know it's kinda sappy, sweetheart, but I love your mother with all my heart. One day, I'm gonna marry her. I'll forge the ring myself, if I have to."

Severa nodded, a small smile blossoming on her face. "Good. That's good." She turned around. "Well, it was  _your_ idea. Let's go."

* * *

Cordelia was in my tent.

There were a lot of privileges you got when you were a sworn Knight to arguably the second most important person in the Halidom. One of which was getting my own tent. Hell, it was the entire reason Cordelia and I were able to spend such an…  _intimate_ night together just before the battle. If she was in my tent, then I assumed she basically made herself at home.

As in, it wouldn't be just  _my_  tent anymore.

Not that I was complaining; I actually preferred it that way. Saved me the trouble of asking her about it, anyway. It also probably saved me from an awkward conversation, but that was neither here nor there.

"'Haven't gotten that far in our relationship', hmm?" My daughter looked at me with an unamused eye. "Seems pretty damn far to me."

"I'm just glad Robin didn't ask any questions." I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose for the hundredth time that day alone. To be fair, the day felt like it was lasting an eternity. "I should've asked him where she was when he and I were… Nevermind." I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "Give me a minute. I'll call you when everything's… when everything's all cleared up, alright?"

Severa crossed her arms. "Fair enough. Just make it snappy, alright? I can only entertain myself kicking dirt around for so long."

"Keep talking like that, young lady, and I'll go in there and never come back out."

Severa gave me a slightly mocking smile before sticking her tongue at me. "Go ahead, old man. I'll just have to save the world without you."

I laughed harshly. "Good luck, brat." My iron hand pulled back the tent flap. "Also,  _be quiet_." I whispered. "I'll call you soon. Promise."

Severa held one hand up and made a zipping gesture over her mouth with the other. Guess future me taught her what a zipper was. Or she saw me –  _future_ me – do the same thing. Either way, I entered the oddly bright tent.

The first thing I made note of was the sound of feather scraping against parchment. Cheap, easily built furniture was another of the many amenities we usually had, and at that moment, Cordelia was sitting at my desk, writing into parchment with laser-like precision. So engrossed she was, she hadn't even heard me enter, or apparently heard the conversation I had just outside.

"Cordy?" I called, walking up to her.

Not a peep. Her red eyes were still focused on the parchment in front of her, filled to bursting with fancy, curving handwriting. Once I was right behind her, I tried again.

"Cordelia?"

"I-!" Cordelia visibly tensed and jumped in her seat before swiveling around to face me. "O-Oh, it's just you, Alex! Hah. Don't scare me like that!"

I frowned. "…I called your name before I even got this close. You didn't hear me?"

Cordelia opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, before closing and looking back down at her parchment. "I suppose I didn't. I'm sorry. This is important work, though."

"Important work that you're doing in my tent, heh." I chuckled to myself. "I'm glad you're here, in any case. Uh, what're you working on, actually?"

"Oh, just a supply manifest as well as the inventory. I noticed a few mistakes when I gave our supplies a once over, so I thought I might as well." Cordelia said, straightening up the parchment. "There were more than a few mistakes, actually. Gods, is it so difficult to keep accurate records of our supplies and armaments? You wouldn't think so, but whomever they had write them this time certainly had trouble. I hope they appreciate what I'm doing."

Thankfully, it wasn't me who did them this time. A warm, nostalgic smile made its way to my face as I recalled the first time I ever talked to Cordelia.

"I'm sure they do, sweetheart." I said, stepping up to her left. "Although, uh, there's something we have to talk about. You remember when we spoke inside Dolorous Guard, right?"

Cordelia's sunrise-colored eyes lit up in recognition, and… was that apprehension? "Oh… Oh, yes, of course. I would love to speak of that right now, but perhaps we can save that for another time? I am rather busy at the moment, after all."

I raised a brow. "…Really? You sure this stuff can't wait? This is… actually really important."

"Yes, and so is making sure we have the right amount of food so half our formation doesn't starve on the way back to Ylisstol." Cordelia explained, making a move towards the feather she'd dropped.

I knew this side of her, all too well. It was the same thing I used to do. Hell, even back then, I saw her do it too. That whole 'making myself busy so I don't have to think about horrible shit' mental strategy. It was effective for putting stuff off so you could properly deal with it later, but it could also lead to complacency. And at that moment, it'd be better if we talked it through rather than wait for it.

My teeth clenched in anger as I remembered General Bakar's taunts. No doubt that had something to do with it. Cordelia had been haunted by the deaths of her fellow Pegasus Knights at the border for well over a year. She'd gotten over it, mostly. At least, I thought she did. But I knew that wounds like those only scarred. They would always hurt.

_Donnel…_

I knew she was hurting. In that kind of situation, there was only one thing I could think of that I could do.

I tenderly, yet tightly, grasped her hand. Cordelia stopped the instant I did, and a moment later, our fingers laced together. I saw her close her eyes and let out a shuddering breath. She squeezed my hand. She didn't cry, but it looked as if she could at any moment.

"…I'm sorry if I came off rude just then, love." Cordelia whispered, sending a shiver down my spine. "I've… There's a lot on my mind right now."

"I know. I think you've got a good idea what I want to talk about, don't you?" I asked, moving closer.

Cordelia nodded. "I do. It is… hard to wrap my head around it, but I think I know what's going on. Although, I'd like to hear it from you. Somehow, it feels as if it would be more… appropriate."

I chuckled then, from nervousness or something else, I couldn't tell. "Appropriate? Maybe. Hell, it'll be hard to say it, but fuck, am I gonna."

Cordelia pushed the chair back, and stood up. She held my hand with both of hers, clinging to it tightly. "Then do it. No holding back. I will be able to take it."

… _Phrasing._

I took a deep breath. I'd been doing a lot of that recently, though this time, it was with a sense of finality I wasn't familiar with. Some part of me thought that how she reacted to the news would either make or break our relationship. And that wasn't fair, considering our relationship had only blossomed just recently. We should've had more time to talk, more time to embrace, more time to do, well,  _everything_. But if there was one thing I'd been taught in my time in Archanea, it was that you had to make do with what you got.

I was in no way blaming Severa. God, no. I only wished we had more time.

"…You know about the time travelers, right?" I began, looking her in the eyes. "The ones who told us about the Valmese invasion? And Grima's resurrection?"

Cordelia nodded. "That was… that was the same day we confessed to each other." A fond smile made its way to her lips, and I had to restrain myself from kissing her then and there. "One of the happiest days of my entire life…"

I smiled, feeling like my emotions were about to burst out of me at any moment, like they had several times throughout the day. "Well, uh, Robin and I were talking about them, before we left for Dolorous Guard-" I didn't miss how her eye twitched as I said Robin's name. "-and, well… They're the children of the Shepherds. From the future. Well, that's obvious, actually… Them being from the future, I mean."

As I rambled, Cordelia closed her eyes and nodded again, holding onto my good hand tighter than before. "…That one who was staring at me in the fortress, the one with the red hair. She's mine, isn't she? My child?"

"She is," I replied, the weight on my chest not going away even slightly. "But, uh, to be more specific, she's…"

"She's yours as well." Cordelia finished, opening her eyes. "She's  _our_ child, Alex."

"…Yeah." I breathed out. "She's our child. I-I know this is all very, very sudden; we've only been together for, what, a couple weeks at this point? Not exactly when we're supposed to be discussing children, that's for sure. I thought I'd  _at least_ meet your parents before we did, uh… Oh God, what am I even talking about-?"

Cordelia silenced me with a kiss. Quick, chaste, and nice. Just something to remind me how she felt, and to get me to shut up nicely.

"…I thought about it, a little. When you were away." Cordelia began, bringing my hand up to her chest and placing it flat against it. I could feel her heartbeat through the fabric of her riding skirt. "Just an idle daydream, really. Something to keep me entertained when I was bored. I thought about what it'd be like to raise a child, and to raise one with you. It was…" She paused, sniffling a little. "I loved it. It was my favorite daydream to have."

I moved my hand up to her cheek, cupping it in my palm. She leaned into my touch, placing her own hand on top of mine.

"When we go home, I want you to… I want you to meet my parents." Cordelia said with finality. "Then… Then, we can face the future together, whatever it means."

I gathered her in my arms again and kissed her fervently.

The weight finally lifted. I didn't care if our relationship was young. I didn't care if it was too early to really tell. In my head I decided, right then and there, that she was the one. I was going to marry her, one day, and one day soon. It was all I wanted.

A final sense of belonging settled in my heart.

"Oh  _Gawd_!" A harsh hiss came from the entrance to the tent, snapping me out of my daze. "What is it with you two!? It's almost like you can't keep your hands off… each other…"

With both Cordelia and I staring at her, Severa looked as if she was about to faint. Her already pale skin grew paler, and her mouth hung open. A moment later, however, she regained her wits and began fidgeting on the spot and looking at the ground.

"I-I…" She said, stuttering while she played with her fingers. "D-Dad- I mean, Alexander told me to wait outside while you talk. You guys were taking forever, and all I could hear was you two mumbling so I…"

Severa looked up to see us both smiling. This caused her to jump a little. "…I mean, if you two are so enamored I could just leave…"

Cordelia walked away from me and towards Severa. Severa stared at the ground somehow even harder than before, and a noticeable, embarrassed blush colored her face.

"Your name is Severa, right?" Cordelia asked. "It's a lovely name."

"Yeah, you're the one who gave it to me…" Severa mumbled, glancing up. "…Mom."

Cordelia let out a breath at that. "… I never expected to be called that so soon. Gods, this is strange…"

Severa grimaced. "Sorry for being so inconvenient, I guess."

"Oh, no!" Cordelia assuaged, placing her hands on Severa's shoulders. "I didn't mean that at all! It's just taking a moment to really sink in; I have a daughter. Even though I haven't given birth to her yet. You're…"

"I'm… what?" Severa asked, her voice uncharacteristically fragile. I could see her lip quivering again. "I'm what, mother?"

"It's reassuring to know that my child will grow up to be such a strong young woman. I'm proud of you." Cordelia smiled. "I don't know what happened in the future, but know that from this moment, I'll always be here for you, Severa. Neither of us are going anywhere."

That did it. Severa immediately broke down. She cried out before slamming into Cordelia, hugging her tightly. Cordelia hummed lightly, stroking Severa's hair.

After being silent for the entire exchange, I finally stepped up. Severa untangled herself from Cordelia and looked at me with wet, blue eyes. After a moment, she put an arm around my waist and pulled me in, making me laugh.

Cordelia and eye exchanged glances before fully embracing Severa – our daughter. A new feeling bloomed in my chest. A warm feeling. One I hadn't felt in a long, long time. Honestly, I part of me had wondered if I'd ever feel it again. As I stood there, holding my soon-to-be fiancée and my daughter from the future, it only grew stronger and stronger.

_This is my family._

These two were the ones I'd charge straight into a volcano for. The ones I'd do anything for. As long as they were safe and happy, I'd be able to rest easy. Realistically, I knew that there was  _a lot_ we had to get through before that could be made a reality. There would be countless battles and horrible adversity on the way. But in that moment, I didn't care. All that mattered to me was that it was a possibility. A possibility I'd fight to the death for.

For every one of my friends, and my new family, I'd make sure a beautiful sunrise was on the horizon.

* * *

Traveling with the future kids, especially the news ones, was a practice in stealth. It didn't help that we had a taguel and a manakete in our convoy. There was no way in hell we were going to be able to hide Yarne from Panne. Whether we wanted it or not, the future kids' last great secret was likely to be given away as soon as we made it back to Ylisstol.

So, Robin and I decided to stick those two at the back of the formation. Every once in a while, we'd also send them out to scout ahead. It kept them out of sight, for the most part; to the regular person, a taguel from a distance, untransformed, would just look like a weird human, and a manakete could basically pass off entirely as human when they covered their ears.

Beyond that, though, the days it took to travel back to Ylisstol were rather boring.

Except for one person. Frederick.

I entered the tent they housed him in. It was dark, almost unbearably so. A cleric stood over Frederick's form, the glow from a staff one of the few light sources within. The cleric noticed me enter.

"Sir Alexander," He greeted curtly. "If you are wondering about his condition… he is stable, for the most part. He's conscious, but I'm unsure how long that will last; he has been in and out of sleep for the past few hours. He is likely to live, but… I don't know what that Warhammer was, but it was nothing ordinary. These wounds are…  _unnatural_."

We had Knightbane in our possession. The ugly thing was languishing in one of our wagons. I wasn't going to take a single look at it until we arrived. As far as I knew, Robin wasn't either.

"Can I talk to him? Er, privately?" I asked awkwardly.

"I see no harm in it." The cleric replied, standing up. "I will be nearby, sir. Should something happen, do not hesitate to find me. What with his condition, something going wrong could be catastrophic."

I nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you."

"Sir." The cleric said quietly, before exiting the tent.

I sat down on the chair the cleric had been sitting in a moment before, sighing. Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I gathered my thoughts. Finally, I looked down and spoke: "Frederick? Can you hear me?"

He turned his head, his eyes opening at the sound of my voice. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, his skin pale, and his lips dry and cracked. Blankets and bandages covered his chest entirely, and the rest was covered by blankets.

"Alexander," Frederick said, his voice weak. I nearly cringed at the sound of it. "A pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting any visits. Has something happened?"

"No, no." I waved. "I just… I just wanted to see you. Haven't been able to talk to you since before we assaulted Dolorous Guard and before… well…"

"Before I acquired this horrid wound to my chest?" Frederick asked, raising a brow. "There is no use talking circles around it, Alex."

"…Yeah, before you got that." I said quickly, coughing into my fist. "Anyways, how're you feeling? At least a little better, I hope?"

Frederick breathed in and out, as if trying to prove something. If I listened closely, I could hear a slight whistling every time he did so. "I am no longer bleeding out of my mouth, and my chest seems to not be collapsed any more. As for how I am feeling…" Frederick closed his eyes. "I have been going over the events that led to this in my head. I was too careless. I allowed myself to be caught off-guard."

"There was no way you could have done anything." I rebuked. "No one knew he had a bullshit magical Warhammer."

"That may be so, but it is my job to always prepare for any situation in combat, even outlandish ones such as this," Frederick replied briskly, opening his eyes again. "I can only hope milord will be able to forgive me for my carelessness."

"I think he'd be a lot happier that you're, you know,  _alive_." I pointed out. "He cares more about his friends surviving than winning."

"…In that, you are correct." Frederick conceded. "We performed in both respects. I am still alive, and General Bakar lies slain."

"…I guess so." I said, nodding. "Bastard took a minute to take down, but we got 'im in the end."

Frederick nodded. "We would not have gotten as far were it not for our troops. It is not a bad thing, Robin's new army." Frederick began, staring up at the ceiling. "It frustrates me that I do not have as much control over it as I would like. My position as Knight-Commander promises oversight over most of Ylisse's military, and yet…" Frederick shook his head. "We are fortunate that it was commissioned when it was. If the story of these 'time travelers' is to be believed, then Robin may have saved all of our lives. The tales these people bring of the war with Valm in the future are… disturbing."

My mind immediately went to Severa at that. Even then, I wasn't there for her. Always fighting in a war or doing something other than spending time with her. Time I should have been spending with her. That was something I was going to change, no matter what.

"I wonder if I will be recovered by the time Valm arrives." Frederick said, closing his eyes. "Alex… I would like to be alone for now, if you do not mind."

"I didn't do anything bad, did I?" I asked, brows furrowing in concern.

"No," Frederick replied. "Your company has been pleasant enough. I would just… I have many things on my mind as of now."

I pursed my lips before nodding. "Of course, Frederick. Make sure you get your rest, okay? I doubt a couple hits from a magical Warhammer can take out Frederick the Wary."

Frederick chuckled humorlessly. "Yes, indeed. I wonder how true that is?"

Leaving Frederick, I exited the tent with what felt like a thin blanket of tension over me. Frederick was going to be alright. I knew he was. But just  _how_ alright? Would he be able to fight again? Pick up a spear, a sword? Be able to perform his duties?

Something Owain had said once came to the forefront of my mind; when he slipped up and called me 'Knight-Commander'.

Everyone I knew had died in the future timeline. The full realization hit me like a truck. Sully, Vaike, Gaius, Frederick, Ricken, Gregor, Nowi…

_Robin. Cordelia._

Everyone and everything I had loved had been stripped away from me. In that time, it had turned me into an unfeeling monster who would neglect his daughter to fight like an absolute blood knight. Severa hadn't outright said it, and Lucina only vaguely alluded to it those times I spoke with her, but it all made sense.

I couldn't let that happen. I refused to let that happen. Everyone would make it out alive. I'd put my life on it.

_Believe your words, boy scout. No one else will._

* * *

There was a specific child I wanted to speak with. One I knew would give me an untwisted view of who, exactly, I was, and how I became that way.

_Laurent._

He was tall, maybe a slight bit taller than me. Only two other Shepherds could say they had that: Kellam and Frederick. Hadn't gotten a good look at his hair, though, so I couldn't tell which. And, as Severa proved, physical characteristics didn't mean all too much. Beyond that, though, there was no mistaking the robes he wore. We hadn't brought many mages with us, so once I narrowed down his look, it was just a matter of asking if anyone had seen him.

Turned out, he was towards the back of the convoy.

"Laurent?" I called, coming upon the last of the wagons.

"Ah, is that Alexander?" I saw him poke his head out from the corner, that silly looking mage's hat sitting atop his head. He looked at me with intelligent brown eyes, behind a pair of glasses. "I assume you have come to visit me. I appreciate your initiative; I was preparing to track you down as well."

"Er, yeah." I nodded, walking up to the wagon. "Just wanted to ask a few questions, actually. About… well, I'll tell you inside."

"Oh, do tell." He said, a glint I could identify in his eye. "I wish to query you as well, so this is most fortuitous. I hope you are not averse to someone else in this interrogation?"

I raised a brow. "Who?"

A small head of brown hair and pointy ears popped out above Laurent.

"Hello!" Nah chirped. "Laurent was just telling me a wonderful story. Care to join us, Sir Alexander?"

I sighed; it was going to be a long rest of the day.

* * *

The convoy stopped, which allowed us to settle down. Laurent quickly got us set up with tea. Didn't know which kind, and I didn't care. Tasted mild enough, so I could stomach it.

"It feels… nice, to partake in such a ritual as this." Laurent mused, sipping while his eyes were closed. I could tell he was reveling in the moment. "In the future, we often could not take the time to settle down, and even if we could, environmental conditions prevented any plant growth for miles."

Nah nodded, a small smile on her childish face. "It is nice, isn't it? I can't even remember the last time I had tea."

A frown formed on my face at their words. These kids… They never had the chance to really enjoy anything before coming to the past. It wasn't difficult to remember, but it was difficult to understand. At least, for me it was. I grew up in a middle-class family in the United States; I ate well, for the most part, and all my needs were met. The future children had to fight for literally everything. Their lives had been nothing but war and tragedy from the word 'go'.

_A future we must avoid at all costs. Severa and the rest deserve to be happy._

"I believe we had business, Sir Alexander?" Laurent said, putting his teacup down. "I hope you do not mind if I ask you questions myself."

"Long as they aren't too personal, sure." I replied mildly.

"Would you consider questions of your homeland to be 'too personal'?" Laurent asked, brow raised.

I paused, looking off into nothing for a moment. "…No. Ask what you want. Should I go first?"

"Why can't I go first?" Nah queried, seemingly genuinely curious.

"Because I came here to talk to him. Not you." Realizing how rude that was when Nah pouted, I shook my head. "Fine, you can ask a question too. Guess we're playing a game, then."

"That is agreeable," Laurent said. "Now, you wanted to go first?"

I nodded, taking a deep breath. "Laurent, what was I like in the future? How was I to everyone?"

Laurent's eyes widened in surprise. "An odd question. Did Lucina not speak of it to you? You and I were never particularly close; I will not be able to give you the best picture, so to speak."

"I've asked several of them, actually." I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "All of them gave me conflicting answers. I just… Well, I'll ask a different question, once we're done with this."

Laurent nodded, exchanging a glance with Nah. "…You were the last of the original Shepherds. The Knight-Commander of Ylisse. You fought in every major conflict and a great many smaller battles. As far as I could tell, you were completely devoid of emotion. In that way, I suppose you were our greatest support; we knew that as long as you were calm, then we had a chance. You went out of your way to protect us, to make sure we need not deal with the absolute worst the war with Grima had to offer. As I said, you and I were never particularly close, and you never once smiled for all the time I knew you, but I could tell you cared deeply for us. A promise you made, I am sure. Other than that, there is not much more to say." Laurent paused. "Hmm, you spoke with Severa, I assume?"

I raised my arms, my breathing erratic. "How'd you figure that out?"

"I can only assume it to be a catalyst for why you would suddenly seek me out." Laurent raised a hand to his chin.

"Severa was never able to keep a lid on it?" Nah said, looking at me. "I wonder who she got that from?"

_Enigmatic. Vague. Damn._

I was right about one thing, at least; Laurent gave me exactly what I wanted with that question. Lucina wasn't very far off, when she told me about myself. Hell, I doubted Owain and Kjelle were either. It was all a matter of perspective.

I had my answer. That was all that mattered. There was only one other question I wanted to ask, and it was arguably much more important than that one.

"Interesting… Very well, I believe it is my turn." Laurent said, leaning forward and cradling his head in his hands. "You never spoke much of your homeland. Tell me, where is it located?"

I stared at him with half-lidded eyes. "Take a turn at Albuquerque and then keep heading east. If you see Disney World, you've gone too far."

Laurent blinked. "Indeed? Interesting… I will need to ask about this 'Albuquerque' and 'Disney World' when it is my turn again. Without a frame of reference, those directions are useless." Laurent turned to Nah. "It is your turn."

"I know, I know, I'm thinking!" Nah said, holding a finger to her lips. "…Hmm, have you and Cordelia-?"

"No," I replied, completely stone-faced. "Alright, it's my turn now."

"Hey, no fair! You don't even know what I was going to ask!" Nah accused.

"Oh, I did," I said. "And I gave you an answer. Now…" It looked like Nah was going to say something, but she stopped and sighed once she saw my face. "I want to know,  _exactly_ , what caused me to become that person you know from the future. If you can, that is."

Laurent thought for a moment before nodding. "I can answer that, certainly." He began. "One event in particular likely sparked it. A great and tragic battle transpired near the Dragon Table, led by you. The entirety of the military might of Ylisse and Ferox was brought down onto the Grimleal. For days, a battle was waged to stop whatever was occurring within. Despite your best efforts, it was unsuccessful; Grima rose from death, and with it… with it, our fates were sealed."

This was completely new information to me.  _I_ brought forces together to wage one last battle? What in the hell? I could lead a small group of people, certainly, but an entire army?

"It was not just the loss, however." Laurent continued, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Many of the Shepherds lost their lives in that battle. Including… including my mother."

I pursed my lips. "You don't need to say anymore, Laurent. I think I've heard enough."

"I… thank you, Sir Alexander." Laurent breathed out, regaining his composure. "I apologize for that. You were merely asking a question."

_A simple question. And the answer hit harder than I thought it would._

It was not unreasonable to assume that that was the catalyst that led to my future self's attitude. The same one that neglected his daughter to fight in a war that he knew he would lose. I understood what his promise was; that was easy. I would never forgive, however, how he treated our-  _my daughter_. It was inexcusable. I made a vow to myself, then and there, that I would not repeat my future mistakes. I wouldn't allow myself to become what I did in the future. Future Severa and present Severa, whenever she was born, was going to have a father be there for her. She was going to have a loving family to grow up with.

My anger slowly dissipated, but my resolve did not.

I had an idea, though. To try and continue to bridge that gap between Severa and I.

_I wonder if they know about pizza._

* * *

The rest of the trip back to Ylisstol was uneventful, thankfully. I wasn't sure my heart would be able to take anything else happening. Our way back was still fraught, though; a tension hung so thickly in the air that I almost felt it. Our mission was a success, and Frederick, while injured, was still alive, and was looking to be making a recovery. We all knew that Chrom understood that shit happened on the battlefield. Those two factors weren't what was causing the ungodly stuffiness, though.

It was the secret a number of us held on our shoulders, as well as the fireworks that threatened to blew up every time Robin and Cordelia were within fifty feet of each other.

The future children's secret wouldn't be able to be kept under wraps for much longer. Not with Yarne and Nah skulking about. At most, we had a few days before Panne caught on. Wherever the fuck she was.

Robin and Cordelia, though, was something I wasn't expecting to have to deal with.

It didn't come to a head until we finally arrived.

We were welcomed back with open arms. The first thing Chrom did when we came back was visit Frederick. I didn't know what was said between the two, but Chrom left with a small huff and relieved smile. The future children fanned out, attempting to interact as little as possible so as to not attract attention to themselves. A temporary countermeasure at best, but it bought us the few days we needed to formulate a plan.

The day after we came back, I was summoned to Robin's office. Nothing unusual, obviously, but what I saw when I got there certainly was.

I came upon the door, and before I could open it, it swung open forcefully. Cordelia stormed out, a vicious and heartbreaking look on her face.

"-Cordy?" I blinked in surprise

Her eyes met mine for a split second, before she shook her head forcefully. "Later, Alex. Not now." She said, her voice strained, before she walked down the hallway. It looked as if she was trying her damndest not to stomp down it.

She left the door ajar, and curiously, I walked in.

Robin sat there, his head in his hands, hunched over his desk. Nothing appeared to be out of place.

"…I believe your lover despises me, Alex." Robin said, wiping at his forehead and looking up. "Not telling her about General Bakar was a mistake. I know that now. I should have seen this coming, but…"

I rubbed the back of my head. "She came to chew you out, huh?"

"That would be an accurate description of what just happened, yes." Robin sighed. "I believe I have become too… emotionally distant, recently. Too reliant on secrets and discretion. There was no reason for me to tell you about General Bakar, but there was also no reason for me to  _not_ tell you."

"It's in the past, Robin; no use agonizing over it now." I pointed out, walking over to the side of his desk and laying my iron hand on it.

Robin looked at it, unblinking. "…Tell that to  _her_ ," He mumbled. "With the way she shouted at me, you would think I was personally responsible for the deaths of her entire squad."

I pursed my lips. "That's a sore spot for her, Robin. You know that." I sighed. "I think you just did the wrong thing at the wrong time. I'll talk to her later, alright? Just, take a minute to get yourself together."

"I am already together as I will ever be," Robin rebuked, leaning back in his chair. "Damn the Gods for placing me in this position! Who would want to be where I am!?"

"Robin, calm down." I said, leaning forward. "Getting all worked up isn't gonna help anybody."

Robin breathed in and out, slowly. After a moment, he closed his eyes. "You're right, Alex. You would think, what with no war going on, that this would be a time of relaxation and peace. No such luck." He chuckled humorlessly. "I've spent more time preparing for the war ahead then enjoying the peace we have now."

"When this next war is over, we'll be able to enjoy the peace after without any worries."

"Is that what you believe?" Robin looked at me seriously. "Do you believe that after all of this is over, that the fighting will stop? That we can finally rest easy for the rest of our lives? I'm not so sure, myself. There will always be war, Alexander. With, or without Grima and Valm."

Those words struck me as if Robin got up and slapped me across the face. Again. I stood there silent for a few moments as Robin stared emptily at his desk.

"…Forgive me, Alex." Robin said, rubbing at his eyes. "I'm in a bit of a dour mood, it would seem. Believe it or not, I actually wanted to speak to you about a few things."

I decided to let Robin's little outburst slide, for the time being. Nothing was going help that for the moment. "Alright, let's hear it."

"That Warhammer General Bakar wielded," Robin began, pulling out a piece of parchment and scribbling a few notes on it. "I have sent it to the Ylissean College of Magic to be tested. Miriel, Ricken, and Tharja are finding out how it works as we speak, but I think both of us know who is behind it, and what power fuels it."

"Grima." I stated simply.

"Indeed. That weapon is of Fell magic." Robin confirmed. "Or, I feel that it is." Robin blinked before narrowing his eyes. "Why do I know that…?" He shook his head. "In any case, Grima has officially shown his hand. I believe that Bakar was a test. A way to see how our army operates, how strong it is. Clever, I will admit, although I am unsure what he hopes to accomplish."

"Maybe see how long it'll take for us to get through Valm?" I supplied.

"Perhaps…" Robin replied. "Or maybe he wants to see how we react to unforeseen circumstances, or, if he is  _incredibly_  egotistical, a warning; a reminder that he is still around."

"Wouldn't surprise me."

"Nor I. Frankly, I'm just hoping we can use the evidence from the Warhammer to further spur the Council. Perhaps use it as proof that there are dark machinations going on, further proving the effectiveness of our army." Robin let out a breath. "There is one more thing we must discuss, Alex."

I raised a brow. "And that would be?"

"The children," he began simply. "There is no way we are going to be able to keep them a secret. There are no more taguel, except for Panne. And now that half-bred one. Yarne, was it? That tends to raise questions. And we both know that Panne can be…  _intense_."

I shivered. "Yeah. Yeah, I know that. I think Nah'll be a problem too. Nowi is very excitable."

"We could keep them sequestered away, of course." Robin said. "But that would be… cruel. It is better if we discuss it with them, and move from there."

I nodded. "No arguments from me, man. It'll be a weight off our chests."

"I'm glad your so agreeable today. But… one more thing." Robin stopped, and stared at me. "When that happens… I want you to be there with me. I have grown accustomed to having you at my side, you see. It helps me concentrate-"

I held my hand up. "Relax, Robin. I was about to suggest that." I smirked. "Ain't like I'm gonna leave you alone while you do all the important shit. Not anymore."

Robin blinked before smiling. "I… I suppose not. Heh."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, comin' back at ya again for another Chapter. Not a lot happened in this one, considering what happened last time, but t's important for setting shit up for later. Not every chapter can be pulse-pounding action, after all.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one. We've got less than a year until Valm arrives, and once it does, shit will officially hit the fan. It's gonna be a wild time, I tell ya.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord Server: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> See you guys next time!


	33. Pizza Time

In the end, Robin and I decided to wait a little while longer. Until the Lucina of our time was born, at the least. It would be easier to explain that way, what with Lucina technically not existing yet. I didn't know this, but Sumia was… well, Sumia was showing some  _pretty big_ signs that she was pregnant. Signs I didn't know about, since I hadn't seen her since a little while before I left for Khadein. And considering it was March, and Lucina was due for the 20th of April, it left us with a window of time.

Unfortunately, with this new plan, we were left with having to decide what to do with Yarne and Nah. Like I'd said earlier, keeping them locked away was too cruel, but they were easily the most conspicuous of the whole bunch. Hell, I was sure Panne would be able to smell Yarne from halfway across the fucking continent. An exaggeration, obviously, but with her lurking around we'd have to keep Yarne under wraps. Manaketes were also rare as all fuck, so we had to hide Nah as well. It was easier then Yarne, at least.

In the end, we decided to hide them outside the city. They were surprisingly on-board with the idea, although Yarne hid behind Nah, someone a  _third his size_.

There was some serious irony in that.

With that out of the way, I was free for the rest of the day. And considering who I saw storm out of Robin's office when I arrived...

Cordelia and I had begun sharing a room. It was something we didn't talk about; it just sort of  _happened_. In all honesty, I loved it. Going to my room everyday either meant I was coming home to her, or vice versa.

_Nothing quite like going home to the one you love, eh?_

I found her sitting on my bed, her eyes closed. She was taking deep breaths, as if to calm herself down. If she noticed me enter, she didn't show any sign of it. Sighing lightly, I walked up and sat down right beside her. Still, no words between either of us.

Not like I knew how to start the conversation, so I settled for action once more.

Moving my arm, I put it around her shoulders. She shivered at the contact and leaned into my side.

"I don't understand that man, Alex." Cordelia finally said, quietly. "How he could keep something so… so  _important_  a secret for no other reason than because he felt like it. He acts as if he is without a single emotional bone in his body. And because of his unnecessary secrecy, he… Commander Frederick was on a mat with a hole in his chest and he just…!"

"…I'm not gonna say I know why Robin does what he does, Cordy." I begin, running my fingers through her silky hair. "He's my boss, so I don't feel good talking about him behind his back, but… He has a lot on his mind right now, is all I can say for certain. Being the Grandmaster Tactician kinda puts you on the spot when we're not at war."

"And  _I_ don't have a lot on my mind?" Cordelia asked pointedly. " _Everyone_ doesn't have a lot on their mind? Children –  _our_ children, from the future – come bringing us ill tidings; we are all dead in the future, and our world collapsed. Everything and everyone is gone! And I'm supposed to believe that Robin has it the worst of all? Even if he somehow does, could he at the very least summon the common decency to tell me that the man we were to face within Dolorous Guard was the selfsame one who  _murdered my sisters-in arms!?_ "

Her own arm snaked around my waist, bringing me in closer. Truthfully, I was too stunned to make a real note of it.

"…He's preparing for war, Cordy." I pointed out quietly. "He's… he's trying to make sure we all get out of it alive. He has to decide who knows what. I won't defend his decision, but that's the closest I can get to putting myself in his shoes."

Cordelia was silent for a moment.

"…I will not forgive him," Cordelia asserted adamantly. "Oh, I will follow his orders. If nothing else, he is an effective commander on the battlefield, but I will not forgive him. It was something so small, and he could not muster the will to do it. No, I am done with him."

What could I say to that, really? Even Robin himself admitted that he had made a mistake. A miscalculation. I could tell it was weighing on him heavily. It may not have resulted in Frederick's injury; that was likely to happen, considering Bakar had Knightbane on him, but everything else…

"Can we…" Cordelia began quietly. "Can we stop speaking of this? Please, just hold me for a while."

I obliged.

In the end, I knew this all trailed back to Cordelia's experiences during the Ylisse-Plegian War. In all honesty, it was a marvel to me that she was able to keep going after what happened to her sisters-in-arms. I wasn't sure how I would react in the present, but back when it actually happened, I knew that it would have destroyed me. I supposed that was one of the many things I admired about Cordelia; she always found the strength to keep going. Despite her traumas, she always kept moving forward. Even then, she didn't come out of it unscathed. Back during the war, she once said to me that she could still hear the screams of her fellow Pegasus Knights being mercilessly slaughtered, as clear as day.

Protectively, I held her closer to me.

This was something that would only be healed with time, and even then, it would only scar over, never disappearing. Bakar had blown that open. And Robin's secrecy only exacerbated it.

I couldn't blame her for exploding on Robin. God, I couldn't. I would've done something similar in her shoes. There was no way I was going to be able to mend that bridge, not on my own. That duty laid solely with Robin. All I could do was what I was already doing: holding her close to me, and never letting go.

_If Severa has taught me anything, it's that things can get better. I will do everything I can to make them better. I've already made that promise, after all._

"…My parents should be here within the moon, Alex." Cordelia said quietly, still holding onto me for dear life. As she said that, my heart skipped a beat. "I told you that my father was the advisor to a Lord up north, right?"

"Yeah, you did." I nodded, feeling a small lump of nervousness claw up my throat. "I'm… not sure about the etiquette of this kinda thing, though. Is this like a…?"

Cordelia giggled softly, nuzzling into my neck. "I wouldn't worry so much about that. They may be minor nobility, but my father was not born into that position. I think they'll just have dinner with us, and if they… well, I assume you know what to do if they…?"

Despite my nervousness, I smiled. "Yeah, don't worry about that. I'll take care of it." I cringed a little. "God, I hope they like me…"

"Heh, I know they will." Cordelia said, not a hint of doubt in her voice. "You got me to fall in love with you, after all."

I felt my cheeks warm up at that. Goddamn this woman and what she did to me! It may've been comeuppance for all the teasing and crap I did on our way to Dolorous Guard, but goddamnit, I was only telling the truth!

I had no right to complain and I knew it. Besides, that was romantic as hell and made me want to kiss her until the end of time. Realistically, I couldn't do that, but fuck if I wasn't going to try.

I let out a breath. "Guess you sent a letter… Hah, hope you said some nice things about me in there."

"Only the nicest things, love. Don't worry."

"Well… good."

We drifted into comfortable silence after that, just basking in each other's presence and touch. I could stay like that forever, honestly. However, I remembered something. A small plan. A plan to bring something from my old home to my new one.

I smiled. "Hey, Cordy, have you ever heard of pizza?"

* * *

The future children integrated well enough into the Shepherds; training and patrolling when necessary, and occasionally taking an odd job. Technically, officially, the Shepherds were recognized as a militia. A volunteer group led by Chrom, most of the time. In the relative peacetime of post-war Ylisse, though, it resembled more of a mercenary company than anything else. Only they technically worked for free. Even though I was still a part of them, my job as Robin's Knight made it so I didn't really participate in their activities very often. That was going to change relatively soon, but for the moment, I'd lost contact with many of those I used to spend so much time with.

There was one unforeseen consequence to having the future children with the Shepherds, though. She had been the subject of many of my nightmares ever since I first saw her.

"Manspawn, stop. Now." A low voice demanded, making me stop in my tracks.

I was planning on gathering ingredients for that plan I'd been concocting. Was going to leave the castle to go look in the marketplace for them when Panne all but  _ambushed_ me.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as I turned around and regarded the taguel. "…Panne. Nice to see you too."

"Where is he?" She asked.

I raised a brow. "Where's who?"

"Do not play coy with me, manspawn. I know the scent of taguel." Panne said, prowling closer to me, her bare feet pitter-pattering against the ground. "There is one here. I can smell it on your children, especially yours. Tell me now, where is he?"

_Jesus H. Christ what the fuck-!_

Panne was scaring the fuck out of me, and not just because of her presence. She dropped so many bombs on me in such a short amount of time that I didn't know how the fuck to respond. Instead, I just stood there with my mouth hanging open like a dying goldfish. Panne looked at me like I was the dumbest creature on the face of the planet. Either that, or she was thinking. Couldn't really tell.

"Speak, manspawn." Panne growled.

"I-I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" I replied as forcefully as I could. "They aren't our children and Severa isn't-!"

"Do not lie to me, manspawn." Panne said, her lips curling up slightly. "The red-haired one smells of you and your mate. The smell of the Shepherds hangs onto the rest of them like moss to a rock. I know of their flight through time that brought them here, and I know that they can be no one else's but ours."

I tried to keep a brave face. I really did. But whether it was because of my past experiences with Panne, or something else entirely, I caved. "…Fine. You win. They're ours. And that taguel you smell? He's yours. Your son. With who, I have no fucking clue."

Panne nodded, then, all pretenses of hostility melting away. "I see. Then there is hope for the taguel yet. I assume he must be of mixed heritage. Hmm. Perhaps the odd one. Stahl."

I tilted my head in confusion. "Stahl?" My eyes narrowed. "Wait, what do you mean  _perhaps_?"

"That manspawn wishes to mate with me." Panne said, her red eyes staring up to my own. Unblinking. "Of course, if he wishes to mate with me, he must catch me first. That is how the taguel court. I would not have it any other way."

"Well that answered one question I never wanted to ask." I sighed, massaging the bridge of my nose. "…Did you just call Cordelia my 'mate'?"

"Is she not?" Panne's nose twitched. "Your scents are so often mixed, that I assumed it so."

"We haven't even… done it yet." I squeaked out.

Panne slowly blinked at me before shaking her head. "Your manspawn courtship rituals will never cease to confuse me."

I went to respond, before I realized what I was going to say, and what I had already said, and promptly shut my mouth before I could make an even bigger fool of myself.

"…You know, I could ask  _why_ you've figured this out and why you never asked about it-"

"I have a great many questions regarding the manspawn. I have learned to keep them to myself unless asked."

'- _Or_ ," I continued, powering through the Panne's interruption. "Or, I could do what I was going to do, and go to the marketplace. Goodbye."

"Stop," Panne ordered, grinding me to a halt. "You have yet to answer my question, manspawn."

"Go ask Robin, for fuck's sake!" I nearly shouted, really just wanting to get the fuck out of there. "We've agreed to keep that…  _secret_ , under wraps for a little while longer before we go and fuckin' tell everyone, and you snooping around will make that a helluva lot more difficult. So please, leave me alone."

Panne regarded me differently then, for a moment. She scanned me, as if truly looking at me for the first time. "…I am aware that you are afraid of me. When I walk by, you act as a mouse in the presence of a cat. You are like prey. Always thinking that I may reveal my true form and devour you whole."

I pursed my lips. When she said it like that, I felt ashamed.

"There were many who felt as you do. That led to the near-extinction of my kind." Panne continued, her voice emotionless. "If you are so wary of me that you cannot answer a single question, then perhaps your rightful place is within the kitchens, and not the battlefield."

I don't know why, but that felt like a serious blow. I grinded my teeth together in frustration, trying to find the right words to say but coming up completely dry.

"I shall remove myself from your presence, then." Panne said, turning around. "Farewell, manspawn."

"Panne," I called suddenly. "It doesn't have anything to do with you personally."

Panne twisted her head around to look at me again.

"I saw you eat a person, Panne." I began, sighing. "I saw you tear a man apart right in front of me and rip his throat out. He wasn't a  _good man_  by any stretch of the imagination, but…" I nearly fumbled then before finding my voice again. "I've seen a whole shit ton of fucked up crap since then. Most of it probably worse than what you did to those guys, but whenever I see you, I can't help but be reminded of how… out of my depth I was, back then. I wasn't prepared. I know it shouldn't affect me anymore but it still does, by God." I looked her straight in the eye. "I just thought… I just thought you should know that. I don't hate you for what you are, Panne. I'm not scared of you either. I'm just… I don't have a fucking clue."

Panne was as silent as the grave, still staring at me, leaving me with no small amount of tension. After a moment, however, her gaze became lighter. "…Interesting…" She mumbled.

I shrugged. "That's all I gotta say, so… Yeah, think I'll go ahead and leave now. Hope you keep the kids to yourself. Goodbye."

I waved as I walked away, towards the entrance to the castle. What Panne did after that, I had no clue.

* * *

The marketplace in Ylisstol was a fickle thing. It was open all year round, at least, most of the stalls were. They sold all kinds of things from clothing, weapons, armor, food, ingredients, pretty much everything you could think of. All of it was made right in the Halidom, too. Most of it. Ylisse didn't have a lot of trading partners, and ever since Valm had gone dark towards the middle of last year, that left even less. Even though it was nearing the end of Winter, though, there was still a ton of goods on sale.

Knowing Chrom, he'd try to get Ylisse out of that isolationist mindset. Bit hard to do that though, considering the distinct lack of places to open up to.

Something that'd be fixed once Grima was destroyed, I was sure.

I signed off ingredients on my mental checklist as I acquired them: Tomatoes, yeast, some really good cheese I saw that we'd have to grind down, garlic, shit like that. It felt… somewhat nostalgic, actually, to just be out there and basically doing what amounted to grocery shopping. It reminded me of when my family went to the supermarket. Usually we'd go for one thing, but then end up buying a bunch of junk food and devouring it throughout the rest of the week. A small smile found its way to my lips as I gathered the last of the items I needed.

I may have not been able to do that anymore, or ever again, but I could do something similar, someday. It was strange, having a family again. It felt good, though, and I never wanted that feeling to go away again.

Was going to leave and get everything set up in the kitchen within the castle, but I spotted a familiar head of green-brown hair within the crowd. It felt like it'd been ages since I spoke to him last, and hell, I just figured out that he was essentially a father.

"Stahl?" I called out in disbelief.

The most average of the Shepherds looked up from the food he was ogling and waved in greeting. "Alex, nice to see you here! Buying some food too?"

"In a way, I guess. Planning on cooking something in the kitchens…" I shook my head. "But holy shit, man, it feels like it's been ages since I've seen you! Since before we left for Khadein, at least!" I shook his shoulder, a big, goofy grin finding its way to my face. "How's life been treating you these last few months?"

Stahl chuckled awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. "Gods, you've missed a lot! Almost forgot you even came back; you always spend so much time at the castle since you were Knighted. It's, uh, actually related to why I came here today. I mean, if I wanted to ogle food all day I'd just go the kitchens in the Barracks, but…"

_Panne._

"I don't know if you know this, but Panne – You remember Panne, right?" After I nodded, he continued. "Well, I've been trying to make her feel more comfortable around us for a while now. Started with food a while back."

"Right. Heard you talking about that at Chrom's wedding." I said, the memory fuzzy but still there. "She can't… eat potatoes, or something like that, right?"

"That's right, yeah!" Stahl confirmed. "Potatoes are poisonous to taguel, which is awful because usually potatoes are tasty. You can put them in almost any dish and it'll be better, in my experience. Anyway, taguel really like carrots, so I've been hanging around here looking for carrots and hearing about recipes involving them. Even asked to go to Castle Ylisse's library to look for a cookbook, once. Didn't really find anything that would work, though. I  _did_ find a lot of cookbooks about pies, though. So it wasn't a total loss."

I stared at him for a second, mulling over his words. Did he even know what Panne thought he was doing? I didn't expect him to know that he had a son from the future, but there are some things that I'd think were obvious.

_Says the man who took the better half of a year to confess to the one he loved. Judge not lest ye be judged, boy scout._

In the end, I decided to just say what I was thinking. "…Stahl, I ran into Panne earlier today."

"Oh, did you?" Stahl asked, genuinely curious. "I know she likes to go to the castle sometimes. The guards block her, but I think she just sneaks in." Stahl frowned. "They just don't understand her. They're scared of her. That's why I want to make her feel welcome with us, with the Shepherds. She'll always be one of us. Don't you think so, Alex?"

"Uh, yeah, I do." Despite my apprehension, I really did mean it. "Hard to imagine the Shepherds without her, really, but back to what I was saying…" I looked around conspiratorially, as if she would pop out of the bushes and maul me to death for what I was about to say. My rational mind knew that that would be difficult at best, what with all the people around, but it still made me a bit jumpy. "I was talking with her, and… Well, Stahl, I hope you know this, but she thinks you're trying to mate with her."

Stahl blinked once. Then twice. "…I mean, I guess I kind of am? I wouldn't… be  _averse_ to the idea, but…"

I looked down, relief spreading through me for some unknown, god-forsaken reason. At least Stahl knew what he was getting into. It was stupid of me to assume he wasn't in the first place.

I sighed. "Well, that's good, because she seemed pretty adamant that that was the case. Anyway, it's been good talking to you, man-"

"Er, can I ask you one thing?" Stahl asked awkwardly, stepping forward. "It's related to the, uh… mating thing."

I looked around at the people around us. "…Stahl, you realize we're in the middle of the marketplace, right?"

"It'll be real quick, I swear!" Stahl pleaded.

I sighed again. I dug this hole, and I was going to have to dig myself out. "Fine. Lay it on me, man. Nothing held back. Shoot.  _Go._ "

"Alright…!" Stahl clapped his hands together and took a deep breath. "Whenever I try to get close to…  _that_ topic, Panne just stands up and runs away from me. I've tested this out! Every time I get even close to addressing it, she just sprints away! I can talk to her and eat with her like usual; she even seeks me out sometimes, but whenever I…"

"She… She runs away?" I asked, stupefied.

"I know, I know! It sounds stupid, doesn't it?" Stahl let out a breath. "I even… I even bought a ring, Alex. I'm ready to take our relationship to the next level, even if it's definitely more human than she's usually comfortable with-!"

"Alright, alright, hold up." I stopped him, placing both hands in the air. With the positioning of the fingers on my iron hand, it looked kind of ridiculous, but I ignored it. "I'm… Fuck, Stahl, I'm not an expert on this kind of shit," Even less so for taguel. "But… Alright, I think I know what's going on. When I talked to her, she said something about, fuck, what was it? 'He must use the way of the taguel' or some shit like that. My advice, though I really don't think it'll be useful, is to chase after her."

Stahl raised a brow, perplexed. "…Chase after her?"

"Literally, of course. I think she gets the idea." I rubbed the back of my neck. Goddamn, was the conversation awkward. "Just… ya know, chase after her. Catch her. That's what rabbits do when they… when they mate- Oh  _just fucking kill me already._ "

"That's…" Stahl seemingly stopped for a moment, his higher brain functions apparently ceasing because of the absurdity of my idea. "That… may just work, actually. I'll have to try that! Thanks, Alex!"

I blinked. What in the fuck was even happening anymore?

"Uh… Yeah, you're welcome, man. I gotta… I gotta go ferment some dough, though, so I'll see you later, then." I managed to get out.

Stahl waved, turning around. "Yeah, see you! Thanks again! I'll let you know if it works out."

"Please.  _Don't_." I mumbled.

* * *

Despite the day beforehand, I was in a good mood. I lightly hummed a tune I couldn't remember the name of as I got all the ingredients ready. Cordelia and Severa were standing by, looking at me oddly as I walked about like a goofball.

"…Mom." Severa said.

"Hmm?"

"Do you know what a 'pizza' is?" She asked.

_Future me, you never even told her what a pizza was? Shame. Shame on you._

I could imagine Cordelia opening her mouth to explain, only to pause and close again. "Now that you mention it, no. I think it might be a dish from your father's homeland."

"He always used to say that he couldn't do anything like that in the future!" Severa said, bemused. "After, uh, well… I never got much out of him about where he came from. He told me about a 'cheeseburger' once and I have no idea what that is, either."

"My future self is a liar, too?" I said out of the blue, surprising Severa. "Making pizza is simple! In fact, I did a lot of the stuff that takes time yesterday. All we really need to do is get an oven going, assemble all this stuff, and voila, we'll have some of that good shit."

"I feel I need to ask this before we continue, but… What  _is_ a pizza, Alex?" Cordelia asked, moving towards me and looking into the bowl I just uncovered. "…It involves putting raw dough in a bowl?"

"I've gone this long without explaining it?" I asked, raising a brow.

Severa shrugged. "You were always air-headed."

"Cordy, our daughter is bullying me again."

Cordelia attempted to keep a straight face, although I could see the cracks forming. She was seconds from bursting into laughter. "I-Is she wrong though? You do have a tendency to say things no one else knows the meaning to."

"So, this is what betrayal feels like…" I sulked, hanging my head low over the table.

It didn't take long for me to laugh. Cordelia and Severa followed suit, although Severa tried to downplay it. I shook my head before continuing.

"Alright, so a pizza… Hmm. I guess you could call it a kind of pie." I began, sitting on the counter. "You form the dough in there into a disc shape, fill the inside of it with tomato sauce, cover it with shredded cheese, and put it in an oven. Heh, back home you could get one pretty much whenever. Just had to… Actually, I've forgotten how you actually  _ordered_ them, but it was expedient and convenient, most of the time. Anyway!" I jumped off and put my good hand on the counter. "Today, we're gonna make some. I've made sure to tell the castle staff that we'll be in here for a little while, so we don't need to worry about being interrupted."

"Well, what're we waiting for, then?" Severa asked, clapping her hands together to get attention to herself. "Let's do it!"

* * *

The next few hours were some of the most fun of my entire life.

"Sev, use your knuckles, and kinda…" I did a motion with my own hands, although it looked rather awkward with my iron hand. "Roll it out from below. Don't worry, I know it looks like it'll fall apart, but it's sturdier than it looks."

"I-It feels so weird!" Severa stuttered, trying her best not to recoil from the dough she rolled on her knuckles. "If you know what to do, why aren't you doing it!?"

I gave her a flat look as I raised my right hand. "You really want it to taste like iron?"

"…Point." Severa sighed, continuing to roll the dough for a minute longer before placing it on the floured wooden board. "Gawd, I can still feel it trying to go through my fingers…!"

I chuckled lightly before turning to Cordelia. "How's it going over there?"

Cordelia was stirring the tomato sauce in a bowl. "Just about done, I think." She looked to me. "Did you already shred the cheese?"

"Yup," I confirmed. "Also just got done helping Sev get this dough under control. Just waiting on you now."

Cordelia nodded, turning her attention back to the bowl in front of her. After a few more moments, she smiled and tapped the wooden spoon she was using against the side of it, before bringing it to us. "Alright, all done. Now we just need to put it all together, right?"

Cordelia spread the tomato sauce evenly across the middle of the dough, making sure no area was too thin or thick. Severa waited impatiently for her turn before sprinkling the cheese on top of it. Despite her complaints, she seemed to want to continue almost as much as I did.

_Good. That's the entire reason you're doing this._

I marveled at the domestic nature of the whole scenario. We eventually put the uncooked pie inside the oven. The oven itself was a domed looking thing, and I made sure to set it up before we finished. Had to, really. With everything done, I found myself grinning like an idiot.

"And now we wait." I said, crossing my arms while looking at the bread oven. "Soon, we'll get a literal  _slice_ of home. Heh."

The redheads looked at me, confused.

"You don't get it. Alright, lemme explain. You know, we gotta slice this thing up into pieces, right? And since it's kinda like-!"

"Oh…" Severa caught on. "That… That has to be the lamest joke I've ever heard in my entire life." Severa's eyes widened and looked at Cordelia, who was silently giggling. "Did you… Are you serious? You found  _that_ funny?"

"Maybe just a bit." Cordelia raised a hand and pinching her thumb and forefinger together. "Just a tiny bit."

"Gawd, both of you are just so…  _lovey-dovey_ , I almost can't handle it." Severa sighed. "I guess it's better than the alternative, though." Severa paused. "…Either that, or your both just insane."

"I'll have you know I only ask myself if I'm insane about 50% of the time." I replied, sounding genuinely offended.

Severa crossed her arms. "Oh yeah? And what's the other 50% dedicated to?"

I turned to Cordelia, and without missing a beat, said, "It's dedicated to admiring just how beautiful your mother is. Still can't wrap my head around it."

I saw Cordelia's cheeks gain a healthy blush and turn away from me, an embarrassed smile on her face. Meanwhile, Severa gawked at me like I'd just revealed the secret to eternal life.

"I-I just can't right now." Severa managed to stutter out. "Just both of you! Being like this! How do you stand it!?"

"You would be surprised, Sev." Cordelia said, regaining her composure. "I, for one, could get…  _used_ to all these compliments."

"I've got plenty more where that came from, beautiful." I smirked.

"Is this, like… Do you even hear yourself speak?"

"I do." I nodded, eyeing the oven to make sure the pizza didn't get burnt. "You should give your old man some credit; he's not as airheaded as you think, I'm sure."

Severa went to say something but decided against it in the end and simply mumbled to herself.

I decided to look at the oven again, memories flooding back to me. I tried to remember what, exactly, you had to do to order a pizza back home. It had something to do with a phone, I knew. I threw mine into the southern sea over a year ago, and before that it had shut off for good because of low battery. Wouldn't have been able to get information out of it anyways.

"…I'm glad both of you decided to do this with me." I said out of the blue, filling the quiet that settled around us. "I know it isn't exactly exciting, but it means a lot to me. Us, just being here, talking…" I found my gaze drifting towards the ceiling, looking at something that wasn't there. "There's a lotta shit we gotta get through here soon. I'm not sure what'll happen when it comes, and I don't like thinking about it. But, it's good to have moments like these, in my opinion. Reminds us what we're fighting for. Once it's all over with, I hope… I hope we get to spend more time like this."

After my whole speech was over, I gauged their reactions. Cordelia looked stunned for a moment, before gently nodding. She didn't need to say anything for me to know that she had the exact same perspective as me. Severa, on the other hand, just continued to stare at me, like she was searching for a sign of dishonesty. Maybe she was trying to prove something to herself, but I doubted I'd ever really know. I couldn't read her thoughts, after all.

"If it's so important to you…" Severa trailed off for a moment, awkwardly trying to avoid my gaze then. "I-I guess I wouldn't mind hanging out with you two. Every once in a while. N-Not that I'd enjoy it or anything. Don't get that idea in your head! I don't-!"

"Severa," I stopped her. "Do you just want another hug?"

Severa didn't say anything. I'd be the first to admit that I probably didn't understand her as much as I wished I did, but that was probably the closest thing I'd get to affirmation out of her. Chuckling a little, I wrapped her up in a hug. Unlike the last time, however, she didn't start bawling her eyes out. Wasn't as serious as last time. She did, however, get her arms all the way around my waist and started  _squeezing_.

"O-Oh, Jesus…!" I wheezed out. "C-Cordy, help! Our daughter's trying to kill me!"

Cordelia stood to the side, smiling. "Oh, really? All I see is a father comforting his daughter. How could she be trying to kill you?"

"Oh p-please…!" I managed to get out before Severa, somehow, squeezed even harder. I couldn't tell if she was doing it on purpose or if this really was just how  _strong_ she was, and she didn't mean it. If it was the former, I should've expected it. If it was the latter, then, well, damn. Either way, my ribs were about to cave in.

Cordelia sighed dramatically. "I suppose I should save my lover, shouldn't I? Very well."

"T-Thanks…"

Cordelia walked up us and put her hands on Severa's shoulders. "Severa, dear, your father can't breathe."

Severa slowly untangled herself from me and looked to Cordelia. Severa let out a small cry before lunging at her. Cordelia let out a small gasp as Severa caught her in a hug just like the one she gave me.

"T-There, there…" Cordelia choked out, looking at me pleadingly. "A-Alex…!"

It took me a few moments to catch my breath, before I looked up and gave Cordelia a grin.

"What's that? I've gotta go and check the pizza?" I said, cupping my palm to my ear. "Why thank you, Cordy. I'll be sure to do that."

Vengeance was sweet.

* * *

After a little while, we took the pizza out of the bread oven. All three of us stood around it and looked at it in all its simmering glory. I, for one, almost started crying right then and there at the beautiful majesty of the pie in front of me. Cheese melted to perfection, with the edges nearing a fine brown. Small parts of the sauces were visible. They were a bit chunky, but nothing out of the ordinary. And the crust, damn, the crust. It felt…  _fluffy_. Light. The yeast really did do the trick.

"So…" Severa began. "Who's gonna take the first bite?"

"Hang on," I stopped her, grabbing a knife. "Let me cut it up into slices first…"

I had to prop my iron hand against the cooking board so that it didn't move around while I cut the pizza. Even still, my left hand felt shaky as I cut into the glorious specimen of Italian cuisine before me. I felt like an addict who'd just been given the fix he'd wanted for months, only in this case it had almost been years. In the end, the slices were imperfect; some were bigger than others, while others appeared to be a little lopsided. Even then, though, it didn't mar its beauty in my eyes.

The minute I was finished, Severa was apparently done with waiting. "Alright, alright, you know what? I'm taking the first piece. You've hyped this thing up for the last few days. Besides, you wouldn't let your daughter starve, would you?"

I gestured to the pie. "Sure, have at it, sweetheart."

Severa didn't waste any time. I watched as she took a slice by the crust, and bit into it. She actually bit into the side of it, at an angle, which made me chuckle slightly. She chewed for several seconds, her eyes slowly widening.

"Well, dear?" Cordelia asked, holding a hand to her mouth to halt any unwanted giggles. "How is it?"

I stood back in satisfaction as I watched Severa fumble with her words. "I-I mean, it's nothing special-" She took another bite. "It's a little bit dry, and somehow it's kinda greasy-" Another one. "-And… and… Ah, screw it. It's delicious!"

Severa then proceeded to devour the whole thing. Cordelia stared wide-eyed at her before turning to me in bemusement. All I did was gesture to the pizza. Cordelia pursed her lips and moved forward. Taking a slice of the pie, she, somewhat timidly, ate the tip.

The way her face lit up as she chewed was almost too much for me.

"This is…" Cordelia gasped, before taking another, larger bite. "This  _is_ really good! Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?"

I shrugged, still smiling. "Didn't think I'd get it right. With all of us working together, though, I guess we did."

"You never told us about this in the future, either!" Severa said, glaring at me with accusing eyes. "What the hell, dad!?"

I held my hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Hey, can't account for my future self. Who knows, maybe he had a good reason. Whatever the case, you get to enjoy it now. So…" I held my hand out to the pizza. "Enjoy it!"

They went on to eat the entire thing. It wasn't a very big pizza in the first place, so I doubted it would affect them much. Honestly, watching them enjoy something I made – well, I had their help, but it was my idea. – was a reward for me in and of itself.

I wasn't even mad that I didn't get to have a single slice. I'd always be able to make more, now that we had everything down.

* * *

The sound of my clanking armor and the whisperings of those behind me was the only sound that filled the hallway.

Lucina was going to be born in just a few short days. It was the 16th of April, then, and her birthday was on the 20th. That was one of the few things I remember from canon; almost everything else except for the broadest strokes was lost to me. We couldn't keep the children's secret forever. We always knew Panne would be the biggest problem, and apparently, she'd figured it before pretty much  _everyone_. I was certain she was travelling the countryside of Ylisse, looking for Yarne. The little rabbitman knew enough to move spots when he smelled her coming.

I turned my head back to look at him, among his companions. When I got a good look at him, I could tell he was Stahl's kid; he had his face. It was taguel-like, what with the lines and off-color skin, but his eyes, the shape of his mouth, his nose, it was all Stahl's.

"Why's he keep looking at you, Yarne?" Kjelle asked, loud enough for the entire universe to hear.

The made the rabbitman jump nearly ten feet in the air. He answered in a stuttering voice that was incredibly different from Panne's usual low tones. "I-I dunno, b-but I don't like it! I-I feel like I'm being hunted every time he looks at me! M-Maybe he's taking us to be  _butchered-!_ "

"Sweet Jesus…" Severa sighed, exasperated. "I thought you got over this whole thing back on Kallis. Why're you acting like this again?"

I raised a brow at that. Kallis was a large island off the western coast of Plegia. Beyond that, though, I didn't understand what sort of connection that'd have with any of them. Or why Yarne would've grown out of his cowardice there. I shook my head; a story for another time, perhaps.

"Your father and Panne were never the closest of comrades, Severa." Laurent added. "Yarne's senses are keener than ours; perhaps he senses something we can't."

"I'm just wondering where we're going…" Noire trailed off. "Sir Alex was in a hurry."

"If he gathered us all together again, then it must be for something important." Lucina finally said, turning to the others. "Why else would he be in full armor-?"

"You know," I began. "I'm right here in front of you. You could just ask me."

Lucina blinked owlishly at that. "…My apologies. I did not mean to speak as if you weren't there. I am curious, however. Why have you called for us?"

I chuckled. "You'll see in a second. Most I'll tell you right now is that Robin has a plan for all of you. He wants to have your blessings, though."

"Is he planning on marrying one of our moms? Or dads?" Nah asked out of the blue.

I nearly tripped over my own feet, before spinning around. Thankfully, we were already at Robin's door. I just hoped he didn't hear that. "I… what? What the hell are you talking about?"

… _Where is Morgan? Does she even exist here?_

Nah let out a sigh of relief. "Thank Naga for that, then."

"I don't…" I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "Nevermind. Let's just get in there, kids."

I opened the door and we all entered. Robin sat at his desk, looking like fucking Emperor Palpatine for a moment before his face brightened up at our presence. I bowed my head to him briefly, before standing beside him.

"Took a minute, but I got 'em all." I said, looking to him.

"I can see that. Thank you, Alex." Robin nodded, looking at the future children.

"What has the noble Grandmaster Tactician summoned us for, I wonder?" Owain wondered aloud. "Mayhaps there's a creature lurking within the wood, butchering innocents? Fear not! If that is the case, the sword hand may finally be sated-!"

"Nothing so crass, Owain." Robin interrupted before Owain could really get going. "I merely want your consent, and maybe your presence, in what Alex and I are going to do."

"…And what is that, Tactician?" Lucina asked suspiciously.

Robin folded his arms together on his desk. I knew enough about him to tell that he was incredibly nervous. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before finally spilling it out.

"…As I'm sure you know, your birthday is within a fortnight, Marth." After seeing Lucina's lips press themselves into a line, Robin continued a little more tactfully. "Sumia has been pregnant for some time. It would not be insanity to assume that your birthday and this new royal family member will coincide."

Severa was the one to step forward. Knowing her, I assumed she'd figured out everything already. Cordelia and I already knew she was our daughter; she had nothing to lose or gain from this situation. "

"I want to reveal your true origins," He said. "You are all children of the Shepherds, and I believe it will be the right time to do it. As soon as Marth is born, we will gather your parents here and… have a chat."

I cringed. It wasn't the best way of putting it, in my opinion, but it got the point across.

For several moments, nothing happened. It was like all the air had been sucked out of the room. The children stood as still as statues, as if they'd been frozen in time. A couple of seconds, however, changed all that.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as I heard the sound of Falchion being unsheathed from its scabbard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bewm. Cliffhanger. Hope you enjoyed pizza time, because we gotta go through some serious shit next chapter... and then the chapter after that as well.
> 
> Actually, the entire fic is gonna take a fucking nosedive in tone here soon. Hope you enjoy this while it lasts.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord server: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> See you guys next week, hopefully!


	34. My Father's World

My body reacted for me, my rational mind taking a back seat as I heard that sickening 'hiss'. I grasped the handle of my sword, eyes trained on the future Princess. What followed was what could only be described as a  _very_ intense staring match; Lucina stared at me, I stared at her, Severa seemed to be glaring at us both. The other future kids were looking between the both of us like shit was about get serious. I could only imagine what they were thinking.

Lucina was silent for a few moments, before completely unsheathing Falchion. The blade seemed to glow in the sun coming through the window. I glanced to Robin, and nearly fumbled when I saw that he looked completely non-plussed. If anything, he looked  _curious_.

In the end, Lucina did not try to strike Robin down. I didn't think she was even contemplating that. It was at that moment that I wondered if my future self ever told her about Robin's true nature; that he was the Vessel for the Fell Dragon. I'd long decided that that didn't matter to me, what mattered is what  _she_ thought, at that moment.

I didn't have time to ponder that for long.

"…This is my father's sword, Grandmaster Tactician." Lucina stated, simply.

"So it is." Robin replied.

It was at that point that I finally let my guard down, and the tension seemingly melted away. I was sure Severa meant to hide it, but I could see her sigh in relief.

"I knew, eventually, that our secret would be found out. As long as I held and wielded this sword, it was always going to happen. Sir Alex always knew, of course, and since he is sworn to you…" Lucina shook her head. "Both of you were some of my father's most trusted allies and confidants. The three of you fought side by side in countless battles before… before father died."

Robin leaned forward, lacing his fingers together and putting them under his chin to hold his head up. "I would like to believe that hasn't changed. Chrom is and always will be a dear friend."

I took my eyes off the children to glance at Robin. "I'd follow you both into hell without question."

I did not miss the way Severa scowled at that. It was only for a moment, but it  _was_  there.

Lucina nodded at both of us, then looked down at Falchion, with one hand on the handle and the other on the blade. "Both of you had my father's trust, and so you shall have mine. If you believe that having our identities revealed would help us avoid the future ahead of us, then I will follow you willingly."

I felt a small sigh escape my lips at that. The hiss of Falchion being sheathed echoed in my ears. I had to hand it to Lucina, she definitely knew how to get people's attention. I could have gone without the near-heart attack she gave me. I could still feel sweat dripping down my back from that whole thing.

Robin nodded, smiling. "I shall endeavor to show you that your trust is not misplaced. But… what about the rest of you?" Robin continued, looking at the increasingly uneasy group of future kids. "I should assume that you all have opinions as well."

Some of them appeared to be surprised at that, while a few others, namely Kjelle, Nah, and Severa, made their opinions known, loud and clear.

"Here I was thinking that it would never happen." Kjelle pounded a fist against her breastplate. "I was getting tired, hiding it for these past few weeks. The sooner we do it, the better! Besides, it'll give me the chance to train with them more often."

"I never knew my parents…" Nah stepped forward. She began playing with her fingers like a nervous child. "They both died fighting when I was very, very young. I… I think I would like to meet them, not as a stranger, but as their daughter."

"My secrets been out since I met you, so, hell." Severa shrugged. "Go ahead and tell the entire world for all I care."

The rest seemed a little less keen on the idea. Yarne was fidgeting, but then again that was nothing out of the ordinary. He yelped when he saw me looking at him. Laurent seemed to be caught somewhere between excitement and trepidation. Either way, he was showing more emotion than his mother ever did. I had no clue who his father was, and maybe they weren't even together yet. That could certainly throw a wrench into things. Noire looked between both groups, seemingly unable to come to a decision. I expected her to explode at any moment. Lastly, Owain. The usually cheerful chuunib refused to look up; his eyes were downcast, as if he was reliving some painful memory.

_You know all about that kind of thing, don't you, boy scout?_

"We have a few more days until Mar- Er, Lucina, is supposed to be born." Robin explained, sitting up. "Give or take a few days, considering how drastically different this timeline is from the one you came from. For those of you who are unsure, we will meet again after Lucina is born. I realize that this is not a decision that you can make hastily; I'm sure all of you have been through a lot, and you may not want to place this burden upon someone else. Please, all I ask is that you think it over."

Murmurs of agreement rang from the future children.

"Thank you. All of you." Robin nodded, a genuine smile on his face. "If you have any questions or concerns, do not hesitate to ask me. I'll be sure to answer as best as I can."

One by one, the future children left the room. Honestly, I felt kind of horrible. Their opinions were split cleanly down the middle.

The only one who didn't leave was Severa, who promptly marched up to Robin and placed both hands on his desk.

"Let me make something crystal clear,  _Tactician_." Severa growled, glancing at me. "If you order my idiot of a father to do anything ungodly dangerous,  _alone_ , then nothing will be able to save you from me. Got it?"

Robin blinked before his eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Severa replied, pushing herself away from the desk and walking towards the door. "Just a friendly warning."

And then she was gone.

Robin blinked again, as if what happened was merely an illusion. After a moment, he sighed again, and he turned to me with an exasperated expression. "Your daughter is… certainly very strong-willed, isn't she?"

I laughed. "I wouldn't think too much on it, Robin." A fond smile appeared on my face. "She's just looking out for her old man."

Robin gave me the most  _done_ face I'd ever seen in my entire life. "…'Old man'? Alex, you're twenty!"

"I'll have you know that I'm almost twenty-one, actually." My gaze fell a bit. "…Oh God, I'm almost twenty-one."

"You are  _not_ an old man."

"Yes I am, can't you see the wrinkles?"

Robin looked just about ready to start slamming his face into his desk. "The audacity, to talk to your lord in such a way…"

I shrugged, a shit-eating grin spreading from ear to ear. "Admit it, you love these little conversations."

Robin tried his best to keep his lips from curling up into an ugly sneer. "Oh yes, I do so  _love_ insubordination. Truly, you are a genius on par with only the mightiest of beings. Allow me to bow my head in deference to your supreme magnificence."

"Damn right. It's about time you noticed." I replied, desperately trying to not choke on my own laugher bubbling up from my chest. "Listen to me, son, you stick by me and I'll-  _Goddamnit, Robin, I can't fucking do this anymore-! PFFT-!_ "

What followed could only be described as a laughing fit of truly epic proportions. Robin joined a few seconds in. It felt like it had been forever since I'd heard him laugh. Not the occasional chuckle or bark of laughter, but honest to God, side-bursting laughing. The kind that makes tears stream from your eyes.

After a few seconds, we both calmed down. Robin stood up from his admittedly comfortable looking chair and stretched. "Gods, that felt good!" He gasped, as I heard several 'pop's from his back. "I suppose that concludes our duties for the day. Although… that Lucina, Alex." Robin's expression became serious. "She confuses me. She's… an enigma. Truthfully, she concerns me."

I raised a brow. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure I know myself." Robin shrugged, gathering a few papers. "Just something about her…  _alarms_ me. I realize I have no place to say this, but her social graces are lacking. Brandishing your sword in the middle of a room with a nobleman and his Knight is… well, I am glad you moved in to defend me, in any case. Even if it wasn't necessary."

I waved my iron hand. "Don't mention it, man. You just make sure you get some sleep tonight. Something tells me, in a few days, we're gonna have our work cut out for us." I remembered everything that was likely to happen within the next few weeks, and I had to stop myself from cringing. "…We're  _really_ gonna have our work cut out for us."

* * *

The days shifted from agonizingly slow to blazingly fast, never staying in one or the other. April 20th grew closer and closer, and it made my heart pound just thinking about it. It wasn't every day that you're privy to when one of your friend's daughters will be born.

I couldn't help but slip into a routine, though. Wake up, snuggle with Cordelia for a while, train, help Robin with papers and crap, find someone to talk to to pass the hours I wasn't training, and so on and so forth. The inexorable march of time eventually caught up with us, and the day finally came.

Felt it in the air. That morning, something was happening. April 20th, 999 AS. The day Lucina finally entered the world.

I was not called for anything. I wasn't summoned.

"Robin, I can't help it! My wife's in there giving birth and I feel so powerless-!"

"Chrom, you aren't powerless.  _Relax_. Sumia has among the best clerics and castle staff in there with her. The chances of anything going wrong that they cannot fix is incredibly small. Just… relax, okay? Everything is going to be fine."

I managed to find myself near Chrom's quarters. Seeing Robin and Chrom, along with a small gaggle of castle staff wearing white robes, I approached.

"Is there a party or something I wasn't invited to or…?" I trailed off, attempting to lighten the mood. I had to act like I had no idea what was happening.

Robin gave me a warning look, while Chrom slowly lifted his head up to meet my gaze. "Oh, Alex! I thought…" He trailed off, shaking his head. "There will be a party soon, I have no doubt. But for now, I feel as if my chest is about to burst open. Damn these nerves! Robin, look at my arms! They've never shaken this much before!"

"What's he working himself into a tizzy for?" I asked Robin.

"Sumia entered labor this morning." Robin said, cleaning his coat. "Clerics and nurses were summoned almost immediately. They've been in there for several hours now." He shook his head. "I've been here since this morning too, making sure Chrom doesn't worry himself so much that he breaks down the door to see her."

Chrom looked at the floor, his lips becoming a thin line across his face. "I'm just nervous, Robin. I'm sure one day I'll be in the same position as you."

Robin patted him on the back. "And when that day comes, you will have to stop me from breaking through walls or vomiting. But for now, allow me to keep you from doing the same."

I looked from Chrom to Robin, unsure of what to do.

"Alex," Robin said, making sure Chrom wasn't about to break down any doors. "Why don't you fetch Cordelia? I'm sure Sumia would appreciate her presence."

* * *

I was able to grab Cordelia from her daily training exercises. She thought I was there for something completely different, and the minute I told her Sumia was in labor, her eyes widened almost comically, and the next thing I knew,  _she_ was dragging  _me_ through the halls. There I was, thinking it was going to be the other way around.

"Does she have everything she needs!?" Cordelia said frantically, coming upon the room where Sumia and an entire legion of nurses probably were. For all I knew there was just one giant nurse in there helping her out. Doubt I'd have my stupid thoughts quelled, though. "Hot water!? Towels? Perhaps I could-!"

Chrom and Robin looked at me as if I could actually do a damn thing. Sighing, I came up behind her and hugged her, locking my arms in front of her chest. "Cordy, calm down. I doubt Sumia wants her friend to worry about her like this.

For a second, it looked as if she was going to break out of my hold and charge into the room. Thankfully, that didn't happen. Instead, she did her best to relax. She closed her eyes and let out a few deep breaths. Her hand grasped at my arms, and held them in place.

"I know, Alex. But I can't help it. I never thought…" She trailed off, probably trying to find the best way to put her thoughts into words. "I knew this day would come. Eventually. I just thought I'd be…"

"If you think  _you're_ bad, just take a look at Chrom." I pointed out, holding in a chuckle. "It looks like his head is about to explode."

"That is a horrible thing to joke about, Alex." Cordelia lightly reprimanded me, before stifling a giggle herself. "Anyways… Is there nothing we can do? Or are we to wait out here until we are called in?"

"The latter, Knight-Captain." Robin said, his voice level. Chrom was too busy looking at the very interesting floor to comment.

We waited there for hours, all our schedules for that day completely forgotten in the wake of the event. I switched constantly from calming both Chrom and Cordelia down, to shooting glances at Robin. Honestly, I was a bit surprised that Lucina wasn't there. It's not every day you get to see your own birth, after all. In the end, though, none of the future children showed up. After some thought, I decided that I couldn't blame them. It felt like a turning point. Like nothing would be the same after that day.

And, in a way, for them, that was true. No loner would most of them be time traveling strangers; they would be the children of the Shepherds again.

Once it was closing in on the evening, with the sun hanging low in the sky, casting half of Ylisstol in a brilliant orange, and the other half in darkness, a single nurse, wearing a white robe, allowed us inside.

I didn't have the expertise to really describe the scene in front of me. In the middle of a large bed laid Sumia, her eyes closed. For a moment, I thought she died giving birth. My heart raced for a moment before I saw her chest rhythmically moving up and down. Nurses and maids gathered around the bed, where I saw a basin of water. Washing the infant, maybe? Either way, little Lucina wasn't there now. No, she was right up against Sumia's chest.

I looked away then.

Chrom practically broke through the gaggle of servants, calling Sumia's name.

"…Ah… Chrom?" Sumia whispered, cracking an eye open as Chrom knelt by her bedside. "Oh, and Cordelia, too. I'm sorry I… Gods, it's difficult to speak."

"Don't worry!" Chrom said, perhaps a little too forcefully. "I'm here, Sumia. Is our…?"

Sumia smiled warmly, turning her head to look down at the little bundle at her chest. "She's fine, Chrom. And so am I."

I could see a little blue fuzz on the infant's head but didn't try to get a closer look. Instead, I looked to Cordelia, who had a hand to her mouth, like she was trying not to cry. Unlike the wedding, I knew these weren't tears of heartbreak and despair, but tears of joy.

_You better hope you're not wrong about that._

I shook my head and put my arm around Cordelia. She offered no resistance.

Robin looked… well, it was hard to read him sometimes, and at that moment he looked caught between several different emotions. Sadness, maybe, and perhaps acceptance. Like I said, couldn't really tell. He simply stood behind Chrom, looking down. Eventually, however, a small smile broke out on his face.

I couldn't help but feel a little tension leave me at that.

I hadn't been paying attention to Chrom and Sumia's conversation, but when I listened again, I heard something that chilled my blood, for some reason.

"I've been thinking for a while, Chrom, but…" Sumia sighed. "…What do you think of the name 'Lucina'?"

* * *

Days went by, and as far as I knew, Ylisse was celebrating the new addition to the royal family. Parades and festivals were held across the Halidom. People were happy and glad, dancing in the streets at times.

Good for them. For those of us in the know, shit was going to become complicated.

The four future children who were reluctant to reveal their secrets gathered in Robin's office once more, their faces somehow more resolute than before.

"And so the day comes." Robin began. "Know that I will not judge any of you for not agreeing with this move. Gods only know what you're having to go through right now. If any one of you still think this is a bad idea, then please, step forward."

Without missing a beat, Owain moved towards us, one step at a time.

Robin sighed. "I see. Then I suppose-"

"Halt, noble Tactician," Owain said, for once in a voice suitable for the indoors. "I apologize for my reluctance. It was as if a foul wind had come upon me, staying my sword hand where it laid. But now? No longer!" He struck a pose that would not look out of place in a… Well, I couldn't exactly what I remembered it from, but it looked epic. To me, at least. God, I loved Owain. "Today, I lend you all that I am; body, and sword! I will follow your lead. If you believe that revealing our true identities will help us in our quest to save the world from the Fell Dragon, then you have my confidence!"

Robin looked absolutely taken aback. I could tell he wasn't expecting that sort of response. Had to keep myself from snickering openly at the sight of his expression.

"A-And me too!" Yarne said, taking a tentative step forward. "I-I told Severa, a long time ago, that I'd be less of a c-coward. I've gotten this far, and there's no way I'm gonna stop now!" He seemingly, slowly, gained confidence until he stood next to Owain, who was smirking all the while. "You have my faith, Robin!"

"Mine, as well." Laurent said, adjusting his glasses. "I have consulted with the others for hours. They believe that this is the best course of action, and I now agree with them. Er, besides…" Laurent blinked, wiping at his eyes for a moment before his stern expression came back. "It will be good… to see mother and father again."

"I-I don't know if my parents are even together…" Noire began, holding a hand to her head. "But… I miss them. Even my mother. I've always wanted to see them before everything… before everything went wrong." Noire shook her head, and for the first time, looked someone in the eye. Robin. "I'll trust you with this."

I looked to Robin, and nearly doubled over in laughter when I saw his jaw planted firmly on his desk. It was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen in my entire life. "W-Well, Robin. Don't just leave them hanging!" I said, chuckling slightly while patting him on the shoulder. "Come one, make something of yourself!"

"…Right." Robin said, his tone wavering. "I… I hope I can live up to the trust you have placed in me. It would be disastrous to just put all of you in one room, however. I think we will introduce you all individually, so that everyone has a chance to… er, take it all in, so to speak." Robin stood up. "And I believe I know just the person to start with. Alex? Please, fetch Marth for me."

* * *

"Lucy, it's gonna be alright."

"I know that, Sir Alex."

I crossed my arms as we stood outside the door to the courtyard. "Then why are we still here?"

Lucina became silent.

I sighed. It was going to be a long day, especially since I'd probably have to sit through a shit ton of these. Just sitting with the kid while they had cold feet. Not an ideal place to be.

"Am I frustrating you?" Lucina asked, turning to me for a moment before looking back at the door. "If so, I apologize. But you must understand, this entire time, he and mother have known me only as Marth, the wandering, time-traveling swordswoman. I am afraid that they might…"

"They won't reject you," I said vehemently. "Of that, I don't have any doubt. The minute they see your eye, when they put the dots together, they'll probably gather you up in a hug to end all hugs."

Lucina closed her eyes, hard. "I want to believe you, Sir Alex. Truly, I do, but I can't help it. This feeling… it is unfamiliar to me."

I put my good hand on her shoulder, looking her straight in the eyes. The Brand of the Exalt shown clearly in her left iris. "Lucina, lemme tell you something. Right now, you can walk away. Hell, if I'm honest, this is a little pointless. It probably won't change anything. Robin just wanted to tell you that so you all'd feel better. But, and listen to me on this!" My expression softened slightly. "But, will you really pass up that chance? To feel like a family?" I smiled, then, new and fond memories going through my mind. "Since Cordelia and Severa've come into my life, I've felt… whole. Content. Will you pass up that chance because of fear?"

Lucina sniffled slightly. "Even now, you are like this…" Lucina stood taller. "Alright. I've prepared myself as best as I can. I am ready for this."

"Damn right you are." I nodded, still smiling. "Let's go!"

I took my iron hand and pushed open the door. The sight that greeted us wasn't unexpected; the courtyard was mostly empty, with the remains of a party clearly being visible. Chrom, of all people, was there alone, hand tracing the edge of a table, and a bright and happy expression on his face.

Lucina froze again, but only briefly. She kept going, her face resolute. Chrom looked up, his expression brightening further at the sight of Lucina walking towards him.

What happened next did not surprise me at all.

"Hey, Sailor."

My eyes narrowed as I looked to my side. "Gaius." I said simply.

The orange-haired thief leaned back, his arms behind his head as he smirked. "So… The Grouch is yours, huh?"

I snorted. "You mean Severa? Jeez, Gaius, how long'd it take you to figure that out?"

"Two seconds." Gaius replied snappily, holding up two fingers. "All I had to do was hear her speak. That's it. I could tell the moment she did that she was yours and Red's. Ain't a single soul in Ylisse or elsewhere what uses 'Jesus Christ' as an expletive. And that red hair, yeah, it wasn't as complicated as a heist, Sailor."

"Still," I shrugged, looking on as Lucina started crying, and Chrom's face morphed from confusion to tentative acceptance. "Surprised you connected the dots so quickly. Most people wouldn't jump to that sorta conclusion."

"I mean, I've heard you say that damn guy's name so gods damn often, you'd think I actually scored-!"

"In your dreams, Gaius."

"Oh, only every night, Sailor." Gaius winked. "But that's neither here nor there. Already missed my shot, but losing to Red ain't so bad. She looks…  _damn, if looks could kill…_ "

"One of these days, I oughta throw you out of this castle."

"You know I'm way too slippery for you to kick me out. I'm practically covered in honey."

"That would just make you stick everywhere."

"Hey, I'm still sticking around, ain't I?" Gaius shrugged. "So the analogy works."

"It works about as well as my iron hand does when I haven't oiled it for two weeks." I deadpanned. "One of these days you're gonna drop dead from high blood pressure, I swear to the gods."

Gaius raised a brow at me, but I couldn't understand why. "Don't know what high blood pressure is, but if it's gonna kill me 'cause of my lifestyle, let it come."

I sighed. "Whatever, man."

"…Actually, got a question for you, Sailor."

I turned to him one last time. "What is it?" I'm kinda busy watching this family reunion from across time and space."

For once, Gaius looked genuinely nervous; the perpetual lollipop in his mouth bobbed from side to side, and he stood up straight. "I gotta know… Do I have my own kid? From the future? Just curious."

_A question you don't know the answer to. Damn open-ended… what was it? Gaming?_

I told him as much, and Gaius chuckled. "Guess it was too sweet to be true. I've had my eye on a few people for a long while now. But if these kids ain't gonna give me an answer either…"

"I wouldn't worry about it, man." I waved off, watching as Lucina jumped into Chrom's arms, nearly knocking him on his ass. I smiled at that. "Just give it some time. Be patient. All that good shit."

"If you say so, Sailor." Gaius replied, putting his hands behind his head again and walking out the door. "Lemme know when they get done; I still wanna eat some of those leftover sweets, but I can't take all this mushy crap."

I chuckled. "I will. Don't worry."

* * *

What followed was probably one of the longest days of my entire life. Those kids, I knew they'd gone through a lot. Hell, we all have and will continue to if Valm and Grima have anything to say about it. But I didn't fathom just how much these kids missed their parents. Missed being held by them, missed being loved by them. In a few cases, they'd never experienced either.

A few tears were guaranteed. Complete and utter breakdowns were optional.

The masks many of them had put on crumbled entirely, and much like Lucina, they jumped into their parents' arms. One that stood out to me in particular was Owain. His mask was probably the most obtuse, but the minute his parents, Lon'qu and Lissa, accepted, that's when the ugly tears started streaming.

It was absolutely and utterly exhausting, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

And then, just like that, it was over. The secret was out. It wasn't one that would have a big hand in things to come, I didn't think. Actually, in the grand scheme of things, it was probably inconsequential at best. The best it could do, in my mind, was make our bonds stronger. Keep us as tight knit as we always were, instead of drifting apart like we had been after the end of the last war. Even though it wasn't  _essential_ that we got the secret out, I was still glad it happened.

At least it meant I could stop pretending. And, for fuck's sake, I was a dad. A father. I knew that before anyone else knew they were parents. Now they'd have that placed on them too. It wasn't a burden. In fact, if anything, it made me feel  _lighter_.

I went to my room that night, feeling content.

Unfortunately for me, though, the day wasn't quite over yet.

Going towards my desk, I sat down and began scribbling down some notes in a small, leather bound book. It was more like a journal, really. Just something to clear my head after the long day I had. Ylissean Common was… well, it was more complicated than the English I used to write, but I'd gotten a hell of a lot better at it in the near two years I spent there. I kind of had to, considering my position. Who the hell would respect an illiterate Knight?

I couldn't help but smile as I heard the door to my room open, a sigh, and the sound of armor being taken off and hung up.

A few moments later, two pale, slender arms encircled my neck gently, and I felt someone lay their head on my shoulder. "How was your day, love?" She asked, quietly.

I chuckled, leaning into her touch a little. "About as good as you'd expect, Cordy." I replied. "But, well, the secret's out now. A lot of the Shepherds are now parents of teenagers. God, it feels so weird saying that…"

"I think it was a good call," Cordelia offered. "…One of the few Robin has made recently."

I frowned for a moment before closing my eyes. "Well, it's out there now. For better or for worse." I stood up, already missing her touch. "Anyways, I'm exhausted. Maybe it's about time we-"

"Erm…" Cordelia stopped me, placing a hand on my chest. "I actually have something I need to talk to you about."

That tone of voice worried me. I held my hand out to her and she grasped it gently. "Well, alright then. Not ominous at all. What do you got for me?"

Cordelia avoided my gaze for a moment, a small blush on her cheeks. A moment later, she sighed and met my eyes with hers. "You remember how I invited my parents to meet you?"

I felt my stomach churning. "Uh… Yeah?"

"They'll be here tomorrow evening. One of my recruits found them just north of Ylisstol."

I blinked.

Nothing happened.

It wasn't a dream.

* * *

The next day, the celebrations were winding down a bit. Even then, it wasn't hard to find Chrom. As always, he was out in the courtyard training. Just some simple exercises, from the look of it. Most of the décor was gone, leaving only what was always there. I walked up to him nervously.

"Ah, Alex!" Chrom greeted happily, wiping sweat from his brow. "Great timing; I could use a sparring partner!"

"Ordinarily I'd say yes, but…" I trailed off.

His brows furrowed in concern. "What's wrong? Don't tell me you don't think you're up for it."

"Well." I began, adjusting some of the fingers on my iron hand. "You know how I'm…  _courting_ Cordy, right?"

Chrom nodded. "I hate to say it, Alex, but there are very few people who don't know that. Heh. Especially with the news many of us have been given recently."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," I deadpanned. "Anyway, uh, her parents… I haven't met her parents yet. A few weeks ago she sent a letter, inviting them up here and, well… they'll be here tomorrow. And I haven't fucking prepared."

Chrom held a hand to his chin. "I guess that has something to do with this?"

"Yeah." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Would it be too much to ask if I could… You know, borrow the dining hall? Just for an evening?"

"Of course."

"I know that usually everyone- wait. What?"

Chrom smiled. "Of course you can. I can't just leave you to drown, can I?"

I blinked. I was certain it'd actually take some convincing, but apparently not.

"I'm sure you know where everything is; you and Cordelia have been in the kitchens many times. Just make sure you clean up, alright?"

I blinked one more time, before nodding. "You're damn right I will. It'll be fucking  _spotless_." I felt a grin grow across my face. "And you know what? I think I  _am_  in the mood to spar…"

* * *

I watched as a carriage came up to the entrance of the castle, my heart pounding in my chest. It made it hard to hear. I knew how earlier I felt as if I was completely ready for anything, but in that moment I was… honest to God scared. Realistically, I knew everything would be fine. Or as fine as it could be, considering I had no idea what was going to happen. Emotionally, though, I was nearly paralyzed with worry. Worry that they wouldn't like me; a foreigner, a scarred soldier.

Two people walked up the stairs, one with a noticeable limp. The one with the limp was a tall man, almost as tall as me, with short red hair. The same as Cordelia's. The other one, a woman, had long, flowing brown hair that reached farther than Cordelia's did.

I felt Cordelia grab my hand, and I felt like I could do it. The doubts weren't gone, but they were suppressed, for the moment.

"Castle Ylisse…" The woman said, staring starry-eyed at the castle behind us. "Did you ever believe that we would see it so close, Edgar?"

"These past few years have been full of surprises." The man grunted.

Cordelia coughed awkwardly while I stood beside her. " _Ahem_. Hello, mother. Father."

_Nice to know that this'll start off as awkwardly as possible._

In an instant, the woman eyes zeroed in on Cordelia, and the next thing I knew,  _tears_ streamed down her face. Cordelia wheezed as her mother gathered her up in a hug to end all hugs.

"Oooooh, Cordelia!" Her mother squealed. "It's been so, so long since I've seen you! Gods, you've grown up so much!" She pulled away, looking her up and down. "And so tall! It's so good to see you again…!"

"Rosalind, let her breathe." The man chuckled, stepping forward. I was right; he had a limp. He didn't even try to hide it, or if he did, it was so bad that he was already doing the best he could. "She's not wrong. We've… We've missed you, honey. I feel as if I should chastise you for not writing home more often."

Cordelia laughed softly. "That won't be necessary, father. I've just been, er, busy, as of late."

"Oh yes, I've heard!" Cordelia's mom chirped. Upon a closer look, she was slightly shorter than Cordelia. "Knight-Captain of the Pegasus Knights! I can scarcely believe it!" Her gaze turned to me, soft brown eyes meeting my own. My stomach flip-flopped. "And, of course, you have him now, don't you?"

I gulped, finding my manners. "My name's Alexander Jameson Wright, my lord and lady." I said, standing tall with my arms behind my back. "It is a pleasure to meet both of you!"

Cordelia's mom, Rosalind, I remembered, giggled. "So polite, too! Well, I believe proper introductions are in order." She curtsied. "My name is Lady Rosalind Kindall. A pleasure to meet you as well, Sir Alexander."

_At least she appears to be happy. Cordelia's father, on the other hand…_

The man almost looked to be analyzing me; his gaze traced every movement, every breath. It felt like he was a hawk and I was just a field mouse, only able to run and cower under his gaze.

"…Polite indeed." He said, his face betraying no emotion. "My name is Edgar Kindall. And you must be the man who is courting my daughter."

I tried my best to not look nervous, and I had a feeling I was failing horribly.

"Er, yes." I responded intelligently.

"Edgar…" I heard a low voice. Turning slightly, I could see Rosalind give her husband a stern glare.

Edgar's gaze did not leave my own for several moments. Luckily for me, Cordelia chose that moment to get things rolling. She clapped her hands, gaining everyone's attention. "Well!" She began. "Now that introductions are out of the way, why don't we head in? Alex and I have prepared something that we all can enjoy together…"

* * *

"Cordelia, what is this?" Rosalind asked, inspecting the piece of pie as if it was some kind of alien creature. "It's not like any meat pie I've ever seen. And cheese? Such an odd combination…"

Cordelia smiled as she took her own slice. "Oh, Alex taught me how to make it. It's a dish from his homeland. Come on, take a bite, mother! It's delicious!"

I couldn't help but blush from that. Either that or Edgar's stare was  _really_ starting to get to me. I swore the man never took his eyes off me. It was unsettling.

We had the entire royal dining hall to ourselves, which left a lot of empty space. The place could house well over fifty people, yet only four of us sat there, eating pizza like a typical suburban middle-class family.

Another wave of nostalgia washed over me. Not unwelcome, and not unexpected; I enjoyed it.

True to form, after I showed Cordelia how to make pizza, she could do it all by herself flawlessly. The one we were eating then was easily better than the first one we made, although that one would always hold a place in my heart. The first real act as a family was what it was. I'd never forget it.

There were a few other food items, of course. I'd liked to think I was getting better at baking; I'd even taken a few lessons from the kitchen staff on how to bake. It was strangely therapeutic, in a way that training and sparring never were. Some of the bread in front of us were my own, a piece of which Edgar would eat in between bouts of gazing into my soul.

I still wasn't proficient; I had several of the kitchen staff looking over my shoulder while I made the dough for the bread. I hoped to get better as time went on.

I smiled to myself. If I was still at home, I'd've never gotten into the things I was into then.

"Well, alright…" Rosalind said warily, taking a tentative bite out of the slice of pizza. She blinked, her warm brown eyes brightening as she chewed. "By the Gods…!"

Edgar decided to stop trying to burn a hole into my face and looked to his wife. "Rose? Is it-?"

"Gods, Edgar, take a bite!" Rosalind said excitedly. "It's a tad savory, but if this is the kind of food they have in Alex's homeland, we should take a holiday there!"

Edgar grumbled as he took a slice. He bit into the pizza and… well, nothing happened. His eyes didn't light up, no change in his body language, nothing. A second later, he swallowed. "…It's not bad," He said, "I find myself curious. Is this dish common where you hail from, Alexander?"

I nodded, trying my best to appear at ease. "Yeah. You could go pretty much anywhere and find a place that'd cook one up for you. Uh, I wouldn't try and find it though. The United States is… er, very hard to get to."

Edgar leaned forward, folding his hands together. "And why would that be, Alexander?"

_I have faced legions of Plegians, Risen, and dragonoid abominations, and yet you still find some way to scare the fuck outta me._

"Father," Cordelia whispered over the table. "Please. Not now."

Edgar merely grumbled something under his breath, taking another bite out his slice.

Either sensing the way the conversation was going, or being oblivious to it, Rosalind changed the topic. "Oh, there is one thing I was curious about! Cordelia practically  _gushed_ about you in her letters to us, Alex. I must ask, where did you two first meet?"

I gave Cordelia a look, and she turned away from me, blushing. I smiled, a warmth spreading through my chest. "Well, I think it was during the Plegian War. The Shepherds were escorting Emmeryn out of Ylisstol, but we were attacked at Breakneck Pass, to the east. Just came outta nowhere. Back then I was a bit of a klutz when it came to battle, you know? Wasn't properly watching my back. Then, comes down Cordy. She saved me from getting my head conked in half." I rapped my knuckles against my skull once. "God, she was like an angel…"

"Aww." Rosalind said, smiling at her daughter. "That was so romantic of you!"

"He's embellishing." Cordelia quickly interjected, embarrassed. "I-I was just doing my duty at the time. Although that was really sweet… I-I mean, yes, just doing my duty as a Pegasus Knight! Hah. Anyways-!"

"Alexander, could you help me with something?" Edgar said suddenly, standing up. "My throat is parched. Do you know where they keep the wine in this castle?"

_This is a trap._

I knew that. I felt it. I couldn't find it in me to refuse, though.

"Edgar." Rosalind said, her face blank again. "Please, tell me you are not going to do what I think you will."

"I won't, Rose." Edgar replied. "I promise. I just want a good glass of wine."

I stood up myself, flashing a smile. "Don't worry, guys." I turned to Edgar. "I don't go there often myself, but I can show you where they keep 'em. Not sure how much'll be left what with the celebration the other day, though."

"I'm sure we'll find something." Edgar said curtly, taking an empty glass from the table. "Lead the way, Alexander."

Taking one last look at Cordy, I noticed her expression was somewhat… worried.

I had to remind myself that everything would be alright. As I walked out the door and into the larder, I honestly believed that.

* * *

I knew Edgar wasn't going to kill me. My instincts told me so, but I knew better. He may not have been an old man, exactly, but he was past his prime. Even with my iron hand and no weapons, I might've been able to take him on. That was all in my head, though. I made no outward indication that I felt threatened. I hoped I didn't at least.

It only took us around five minutes to make it to where the wine was stored. As I suspected, much of it was gone. The honeycomb pattern of the storage area only had a few bottles of it. Still that would be enough. Edgar sighed, pulling out one of the bottles.

"These are an excellent vintage. Altean Red, eh?" Edgar said, apparently talking to himself. "My Lord never liked this kind. Don't tell him I said this, but he's a fool. Altean Red is easily the best wine produced on Archanea. Damn that Roseannean swill."

"Not a word, sir." I replied succinctly.

"No need to call me 'sir', Alexander. If anything I should be calling  _you_ that." He said, not looking at me as he popped open the bottle. He poured the wine into his glass before gesturing to me. "Would you like a glass yourself?"

I felt uncomfortable at that. Just a tiny bit. I remembered the last time I drank; it went well that time, but there was no telling how it'd go this time, especially in such a high-stress environment. I didn't want to say anything I'd regret.

A dark memory flashed through my head, of a man just come home with a flask of whiskey in his hand. His hoarse shouts as he cried about something I knew nothing about.

"Ah, no thank you." I replied. "Not to get too personal, but… My father used to drink a lot. I don't want to follow in his footsteps. No drinking for me. Ever."

I'd already broken that rule. I had no intention of breaking it again.

Edgar hummed, raising a brow at me. "Is that so? Hmm. How restrained of you. Modest, even. Although, I still do find myself curious about you."

I pursed my lips. "Why's that?"

Edgar took one more sip before looking me dead in the eye. "Because you are an enigma, Sir Alexander." He put the glass on a table and stood closer to me. "I can find no record of your existence before May 1, 997 AS. Oh yes, I have done inquiries. Just a little research so I had some idea who you were before I met you. Then, just over a year later, you were Knighted in a private ceremony, and have been active since. I've even found whispers amongst the common folk, of 'The Hero of Khadein'. All of this paints a picture, wouldn't you think?"

My mouth felt dry. "I don't know what you mean."

"Mmm." He hummed again, taking another sip. "I just find myself curious, Sir Alexander. Allow me to be completely upfront with you: what are your intentions with my daughter?"

I adjusted a few fingers on my iron hand. "What do you…?"

"I have been in a few battles myself. I'm sure you've noticed the limp." He continued on. "You are a soldier as well; I can see it in your eyes. You thought for sure that I was taking you here to kill or somesuch other reason, hmm?"

I looked at the ground, ashamed.

"It is nothing to be ashamed of. That's just how we operate." Edgar assuaged. "So I understand you, in some way. I just want to know what somebody, who I'd never heard of, who purports to come from a country  _no one_ has ever heard of, would start courting my daughter."

I licked my lips, trying to come up with something, anything to say. In the end, I decided to start with the honest to God truth. As best as I could summarize it, at least.

"…Truth is, sir, I'm not all that great of a Knight." I began, letting it all out. "I'm not… I'm really just a nobody from nowhere. Someone who was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time, if you asked someone else. Hell, I definitely don't  _feel_ like the 'Hero of Khadein'. I'm just…" I gulped and looked up to meet his red eyes. "Truth is, I'm just a guy who's in love with your daughter." I shrugged. "That's it."

Edgar stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes unblinking. "…Oh, I know who you are, Alexander." Edgar said, his voice low.

"W-What?" I said, feeling more uneasy with every second.

"I know exactly who you are." Edgar repeated, his stare becoming more menacing with every second. "Or, I should say, 'what' you are."

_There's no fucking way-!_

"You, Alexander." Edgar paused. "…Are a true romantic."

I blinked. For the millionth time that day, I had to say, "What."

"A romantic!" Edgar said, honest to God  _laughing._ "There aren't many men like you left in the world. I had a feeling, reading her letters, that you were like that. I'd almost say you remind me of myself!"

Despite the 180 the conversation had taken, I couldn't help but laugh. "That so?"

"Oh, very much so. That story you told?" Edgar reminded me. "It made me remember how I met my Rose. Gods, that must have been over twenty years ago now… She saved me from a horrible injury. The selfsame one that gave me this damned limp. That was even before the Crusades!"

"Jesus, man." I said, holding up my iron hand. "I think we could go on forever about this, heh."

"I'm sure we could." Edgar agreed. "I'm sure Rose and Cordelia will want to tear my head off if we stay here for another minute. Know this, before we leave though. I…" Edgar took a deep breath. "I… approve of you, if that is what you wanted to hear. I hope we get to speak more often, though. I'm still curious about this continent you hail from. Only the Gods know where it is, besides you."

I nodded cautiously. "I'll be sure to do that, sir. Don't worry!"

"Good, good!" Edgar said. "Anyways, let us go. Before they charge in here after us."

I followed him outside, a smile on my face.

A million different thoughts blurred together in my mind, but one thing stood out.  _Acceptance_. I wasn't sure about Cordelia's mother, but considering how she was acting, I wanted to believe I had her confidence as well. Either way, my path was clear now. All road blocks we'd put up had been taken down. There was only one more thing left for me to do.

_Time to get a ring._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost there. We are THIS close. The next Chapter will probably be the last of the completely happy ones, and if Alex's closing statement didn't clue you in as to why that is, well...
> 
> Hopefully I did the whole parents bit justice. Besides your units in the game, the parents of the first generation don't usually get anything said about them. I doubt they were all orphans. Most I can remember, though, is Stahl saying his dad was an apothecary. So I decided to do this little bit. They won't be here for very long, but hopefully Edgar and Rosalind made an impression lol.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed the Chapter!
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord server: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> See you next time!


	35. Sunday

Edgar and Rosalind's visit after that was brief, but pleasant. Once things were cleared up, I found myself enjoying it. They had to leave the next day; duties and shit like that. I remembered that Cordelia said they were the advisors to some noble in North Ylisse. Minor nobles, all around, but still nobility. I was just glad they liked me.

That left me with one last thing to do, before Valm had a chance to begin.

_You ever see yourself getting married at the age of twenty-one, boy scout?_

I didn't. Hell, I never imagined I'd get married,  _period_. Not because I didn't want it or anything but because… well, because it felt like such an unattainable goal. Something so far on the horizon that I'd never be able to have it, let alone see it.

That was going to change.

I had the will. I had my confidence. I had everything. The only thing left to do, was buy a ring. The thought of it alone set off butterflies in my stomach, like it wasn't actually going to happen. Like it was all just a dream.

If it was a dream, I'd be very pissed when I woke up.

I had enough money to buy rings. I just needed to know the right one to get.

This led me to a different redhead.

"You want me to tell you  _what_?" My daughter looked at me like I'd grown another head. "…That may be the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."

I held both my hands up, one of flesh and one of iron, like I was placating a particularly vicious cat. "Now, hear me out on this, sweetheart." I said quietly, hoping no one else within the barracks would be able to hear us. "I just want this to be perfect, alright? I'm not just gonna go out there and buy any old ring. It's gotta be  _special_. I can't exactly make one myself, so…"

Severa crossed her arms. "I dunno, ever tried?"

"I don't wanna lose my other hand, Sev."

"If you lose a hand trying to make a ring, then you deserved to lose it."

"Look, that's beside the point!" I exclaimed, calming down after a moment. "Look, I love your mother. I love her to death. I'd do  _anything_ for her-!"

"Alright, dad, I get it! Jesus Christ!" Severa cringed. "I don't need to know just how devoted you are to mom. Trust me, I still kinda remember how you two were in the future, before the, uh… Well, you know. Lovey-dovey  _crap_." Severa face twisted in disgust before settling back into that usual slightly frowning expression. "I'm not exactly an expert on romance. The last relationship I had ended pretty, er,  _messily_."

I perked up at that, my eyes narrowing. "…You've been in a relationship before?"

Severa must have realized what she said, because the next thing I knew, her cheeks were flushed a dark red, and she avoided my gaze. "T-That's not what we're supposed to be talking about, idiot! We're talking about how you're gonna propose to mom!"

"…You're right." I said after a moment, still giving her a pointed stare. I needed to finish the conversation soon, anyway; standing in the middle of the Shepherd's Garrison, in a hallway, could attract the wrong kind of attention. Especially since the future child secret was out. Didn't want anything getting back to Cordelia. "But you'll tell me about that later, won't you?"

"No promises." Severa said quickly. "Anyway, as I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, I'm not… good, with relationships. And before you ask, no, I don't have your rings with me. I never got the chance to get them."

_That's because Cordelia died on a battlefield, and you died after they left. That makes sense._

"D-Don't give me that look! I'm trying to help you, for fuck's sake!"

I blinked. "We really oughta do something about your cussing habit."

She stuck her tongue at me. "I'd like to see you try. Now, stop getting me off track for Gawd's sake! You really are an airhead!"

"This is news to  _no one_. Keep going."

"Just get her something. Anything. Mom'll love it. It could be a ring made of metal that'll rot away within five days and she'd still say yes. That's just… how you and mom are." Severa continued, seemingly caught in her own world for a moment. "You used to tell me, before everything went to shit, about the day you proposed to mom. Heh, maybe it's not so bad that you came to me for this. You said that you proposed to her at sunset, on a balcony. It wasn't the one here, if that's what you wanted to ask. You guys were never really here for very long. Always out fighting and crap…" Severa's expression turned bitter. "…Anyway, long story short, just get a ring. Any ring. She'll say yes. It's  _you_ who's giving it to her, after all. She'd have to be insane not to say yes."

For some reason, that struck a chord with me. Here I was, worrying about what  _kind_ of ring I wanted to give her, instead of worrying about the message. The meaning behind it. Everything we'd gone through, all the hardship, all the turmoil, all the bullshit, everything. We were  _in love_. In my own world, it may've been a bit early to start proposing, but I didn't care. As much as I was adamant we'd survive through the worst the universe would throw at us, I couldn't deny the possibility that we could all be  _dead_  in a few more years.

I'd rather spend those few years with the woman I love, having taken the not-so-big leap of faith years prior, with golden bands on each of our ringers.

"Hey, you still in there? Or'd you finally just say 'fuck it' and left your brain?" Severa said sardonically. I felt knuckles rapping against my skull. "Dad? You still with me? Blink twice for yes, stand still like a moron for no."

I blinked twice.

Severa smirked. "I guess you're still in there after all. Now, what're you gonna do?"

A smile formed on my lips as well. "Something I should've done a long time ago. Better late than never."

"Keep telling yourself that." Severa drawled, before her expression became serious. "Now go out there and propose already! I'm sick of seeing you two moon over each other all the time!"

I laughed. "That ain't gonna stop any time soon, sweetheart. Not if I have anything to say about it."

"…Oh Gawd, what have I done?" Severa said, horror slowly creeping into her voice. "I swear, if either of you start  _really_ getting into it in front of me I'll-!"

"Yeah, yeah." I said nonchalantly, turning around and waving. "Heh, just look out for things in a few months, yeah? Who knows what could happen!"

I was certain a person in orbit would be able to hear the sound Severa made. My laughter soon followed.

* * *

I decided to make my own set of rings, with a little help. Felt like it'd be more special that way. Still, my conversation/verbal sparring match with Severa wasn't completely in vain; I wasn't so worried about the particulars anymore. I just wanted something that was there, that had clear meaning to both of us.

_You're still worrying about all this, huh? Didn't you hear a single word your daughter said?_

I did. This was my decision, though. And I was going to stick by it.

Before I approached a jeweler or blacksmith or whoever makes golden bands, I wanted to visit somebody.

 _Frederick_.

It had been a few months since the assault on Dolorous Guard, and Frederick's recovery was slow. Slower than a goddamn glacier.

He was being housed within a room in the castle, with frequent visits from his friends and fellow Shepherds, including me. I opened the door to see him laid out on a comfortable bed. Those dark rings under his eyes were faded, but still clearly there; he didn't look like a corpse anymore, but he sure as hell didn't look  _healthy_. His torso was still partially covered in bandages, but many of them had been removed.

When I entered, he wasn't doing anything in particular. Just staring out the one window in the room.

"Hey, Frederick." I said softly, turning a chair around to sit beside him. "How's it going?"

"…Alexander." Frederick rumbled, turning his head. "As well as I can be, with this gods' forsaken injury. I have never experienced anything like it. I realize that Warhammer was Fell magic, but is there anything else that has been gleaned from it?"

I pursed my lips and looked down. The truth was, not a lot. I couldn't understand much of what Tharja, Ricken, and Miriel said, but what it boiled down to is that the weapon was enchanted. It had once been an ordinary warhammer, forged out of silversteel. The Fell magic placed on it was erratic, chaotic, and practically  _bursting_ at the seams, as if the weapon would explode if handled a certain way. Just one more reason to stay the fuck away from it. Unfortunately, that instability made it difficult to find out what it  _did_ exactly.

I could tell, though, just by looking at Frederick that it did some pretty horrible things.

Telling him as much as I knew, Frederick closed his eyes, hummed, and nodded. "That would make sense. The clerics tell me that the wound has not healed properly. It would not be idiocy to suspect that there is some correlation between them."

I raised a brow. This was news to me. "It's not healing right?"

"That, and it is healing slowly," Frederick clarified, "It is unnatural. You have not seen the scar, but it is this ugly, black mass of tissue, as if my very flesh has been poisoned. I have grown sickly and weak. The clerics assure me that they can heal it, but it could take months. Maybe even years."

My jaw dropped at that. "It…  _what_?"

Frederick chuckled humorlessly. "That was my reaction as well. I doubt it will take years; months seem the far more likely option. Either way, I feel useless."

"You're not-!"

Frederick quietly raised a hand to stop me. "Do not try to contradict me, Alexander. I am well aware that in this state, I am utterly useless."

I stewed on that knowledge for a few minutes. I felt like it wasn't true. I wanted it to be untrue. I knew, however less harshly I thought of it, that it was. Frederick would never be useless in my eyes; I still remembered how he could take on entire battalions of people by himself. Hell, I still remember him spearing that one bandit guy through the back, years ago.

I held out my hand and grasped his raised one. "I don't care what you say, Frederick, you're not useless. Not to me. It'll be a few months until you're combat ready again, yeah, but when you do, you'll get back out there and start kicking asses left and right. You hear me?"

Frederick stared at me a moment before suddenly laughing again. Unlike last time, however, this one appeared more genuine. More real. "I appreciate the sentiment, Alex. And maybe you are correct. 'Kicking asses left and right', hmm? An interesting way of putting it."

"I'm a foreigner; I have all sorts of phrases that're bonkers."

"Indeed. And many other interesting ways of speaking. Including this 'Jesus Christ' character you exclaim when you are surprised or frustrated. Is he really so infamous a figure that you utter his name as a curse?"

It was my turn to chuckle. "It'd take a fortnight to tell you all about it, Frederick, and I've got some stuff to do. Maybe later, though." I stood up. "Glad you're doing better. Chrom doesn't say it, but he misses you."

Frederick breathed out. "Then allow me my rest. I must return to milord's side as soon as possible."

* * *

"'Ang on there, laddie! It's gold, not steel; don't twist it up into a gods' damn-!" The grumpy old man with a beard nearly reaching his shins barked at me, taking the pincers out my hands. All around us was steam and red-hot metal, along with the instruments needed to craft with it.

The man I decided to visit was a cantankerous old bastard who fancied himself a jeweler and goldsmith, and he lived in the upper districts of Ylisstol. His stall was fitted with nice looking golden jewelry with inset gemstones, so I went with him. I was even able to convince him to allow me to help craft it. It involved an ungodly amount of trial and error, but eventually, we got something workable.

The one being workable was the same one being held in the old man's pincers. He squinted at the crude, but whole and shiny gold band, his grey eyes analyzing every part of it.

"…Aye, that ain't bad." He finally said, causing me to let out a sigh of relief. "I ain't gonn' say you gots any future in metal-workin' but it's better than what most folk can do. I'll do all the shavin'."

"Shaving?" I asked, confused. I still really had no idea what the process entailed; I was just following along.

The hunched old man made a confusing gesture with his hands before sighing and face-palming. "You royal castle-types. Don't they teach you nothin' 'bout metal-workin' at all? It ain't like gold's hard to mold. With you twistin' it like it's the neck of your childhood bully, though, it might as well be!" The old man snorted. "'ero of Khadein comes onto my doorstep askin' to make a pair o' rings. Har! It almost sounds like a bad joke. But I like your gumption, laddie, so I'll keep helpin' ya. Just keep workin' on that next one. Say…"

I'd begun to turn away when he trailed off. Turning back around, I stared at him. "…What?"

"What gem ya want inlaid, laddie?" The old man rasped, crossing his arms. "Yer obviously makin' this for someone special-like. Long as you got the coin, I can get ya whatever gem ya want. Amethyst? Jet? Diamond? Rose Quartz? Anythin' ya want."

I actually thought about that for a moment. In the end, I didn't need to think for long. There was really only one gem that could compare. That I thought would be appropriate.

"…Can you do ruby?" I asked tentatively.

The man snorted. "Can I do ruby, he says. Aye, that I can, laddie. 'ope your lady likes red, 'cause I got some of the reddest ya done ever seen!"

I laughed nervously, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. I rubbed the back of my neck. "Yeah, let's go with that, for both of them!"

The entire process took a couple hours, but in the end, I got what I wanted.

Two rings, side by side, a brilliant shade of gold. Inlaid at the top were two carved rubies, fashioned into a rectangular shape.

"Aye, fine work, even with ya muckin' it up half the damned time!" The old goldsmith chuckled. "Ain't too shabby. Ya worked with me on them, so I'll cut ya a break and lower the price a tad."

I shrugged, a little spellbound by the two rings in front of me. "…Yeah, whatever you want, man. I got you."

The old man's expression soured. "This 'man' done got a name, ya know."

I shook my hand, looking at the goldsmith apologetically. "Sorry about that. What's your name?"

"Weyland, at yer service, milord.  _Pah_!" The old man spat. "No respect for yer elders is what ya got, laddie! Still, long's yer gold is good, don't much care."

"Yeah, yeah, I got you…" I said, pulling out a sack. Contained about as much as I made in a month. "Go ahead and do whatever with it, Weyland. Who knows, I might be back someday."

"Aye, twouldn't be so bad, I suspect." The old man said, opening the thin sack. "Aye, that'll be enough. Pleasure doin' business with ya, Sir Alexander."

"Likewise." I replied curtly, walking out of the man's abode.

I swore my heart was beating in my chest at a billion miles per hour.

* * *

The castle staff must've known what I was about to do. They kept giving me weird looks on my journey throughout the castle. To be fair, I was holding a small box with two rings in it. Not they knew about the last part, that would be ridiculous, but still. I swore up and down that I saw one of the maids give me a wink as I marched through the halls and towards a balcony.

The same balcony I finally confessed to both Robin and myself that I had feelings for Cordelia.

It felt strange being out there, the gentle wind blowing through my hair and past my face, the feeling of the setting sun on my skin. The small but noticeable weight difference between my right hand and left hand. In that moment, I felt I was cognizant of everything around me.

I fiddled with the small box in my hand, feeling its weight. For some reason, it felt heavier than before.

Trying to calm myself, I took a deep breath. My heart still went off in my chest like it had a quota to fill by the end of the night, but somehow, I felt serene. In a way, at least.

I wasn't there to brood or anything like that. No, I'd long gotten over that whole thing. I was just waiting for Cordelia. I'd told her to meet me at that specific balcony. Still remembered how Severa said I proposed on a balcony, with the backdrop of a sunset behind us. I saw no reason to change that.

_You were gonna pick it anyway. You're disgustingly romantic, boy scout._

It was true, and I had no problems admitting it.

"Alex?"

There she was.

I turned around to see her standing there, as stunning as ever. As was often the case, she was wearing her riding skirt and the under armor of her Pegasus Knight uniform. A part of me wanted to turn away, embarrassed, but I forced myself to keep still. I was well beyond the point of being embarrassed all the damned time.

I hid the box behind my back, probably rather conspicuously. "Uh, hi, Cordy." I said, giving her a nervous smile. "Lovely day, isn't it?"

_So much for not being embarrassed…_

Cordelia blinked at me, confused, before a smile graced her lips as well. She moved forward until she was right next to me, staring off at the brilliant, golden sunset. The light made her hair seem more like an ethereal maroon. Absolutely gorgeous. Then again, what about her  _wasn't_ gorgeous? That list would be short and would only have one item listed. Said item being 'nothing'.

"That it is." Cordelia said wistfully, her eyes closing a bit as the wind lazily passed us by. "It's on days like this that training usually goes smoothly, as well. The gentle winds are fantastic for helping novice Pegasus Knights learn how to guide their Pegasus, rather than trying to control it." She turned to me then, her red eyes glinting in the light. "The wind also feels nice, of course!" She giggled.

I nodded, playing with the box behind my back. I wondered if she already saw it. Her laxness lent credence to the contrary, but you couldn't be too careful.

"…You know, Cordy," I finally began, finding the courage within me to start talking. "These past few months have been some of the happiest of my entire life. Sure, there were a couple road bumps, but on the whole, I don't think I could be happier even if I tried."

"Likewise, love." Cordelia replied, putting an errant lock of hair behind her ear. "I feel as if I can hardly contain it all at times. I love the moments we spend together."

_Goddamnit. She's gonna make me cry._

Steeling myself, I continued. "I… I don't know what the future'll bring. There's what Lucina and her friends told us. But, we have a chance. A chance to make things right. To earn a happy ending. At least, I hope so."

"Alex…?" Cordelia trailed off, confusion coloring her tone.

"But if there's one thing I want to be certain, it's you. And me. At each other's side until the very end." I journeyed on, feeling a lump growing in my throat yet still going regardless. "I know this might be a bit fast, but goddamnit I made a promise to both you and myself, so…"

"What're you…? Gods-!" Cordelia gasped, covering her mouth with both hands as I got down on one knee, and showed her the box I held.

"Cordelia." I intoned, opening the box to reveal both rings, shining brilliant in gold and red. "Will you marry me?"

Silence reigned. Cordelia stared wide-eyed at the rings in my hand, her gaze unwavering, her hands covering her open mouth. For a moment, just a brief moment, a worm of dread wriggled through my chest. Was I wrong? Had I gone too fast? Did I do it wrong? My worries were dashed, thankfully, when I saw her hand move.

Gingerly, shakily, she grasped one of the rings. Her mouth closed as I saw tears trail down her cheeks. Finally, a sight that filled my chest with warmth, was her putting it on. The golden band glimmered on her ring finger, and what she said next nearly turned me into a weeping wreck.

"…Yes...!" She said, breathlessly, barely able to be heard. "Yes! Gods, yes! I accept with all my heart!"

That did me in. We leapt at each other. Cries of happiness and laughter filled the air around us as I held her in my arms. Her hands cupped both my cheeks, and once more, all I could feel was her. Her warm body, felt even through the fabric, pressed firmly against my own. Her hands grasping my cheeks, my fingers flowing through her soft hair, and her lips against my own.

_I could be like this forever._

If there'd be any moments before that I described as the happiest moment of my life, they were null and void. There, becoming engaged to the woman I loved, was the happiest moment ever. No doubt when we were officially married I'd consider  _that_ my happiest moment, but until that time, this was it. This was what I'd wanted for God only knew how long. Ever since she and Robin helped me get back on my feet back in Whiteford.

After a few more moments that didn't last nearly long enough, we parted. We still held each other, though, and it'd take an army to take me away from her.

"…I never thought this day would come…" Cordelia said softly, removing her right hand from to look at the new ring on her finger. "If you asked me two years ago that I would be engaged, I would think you were jesting. But now…! I'm glad you're with me. It's hard to imagine what my life would be without you…"

It was hard to not chuckle at that. A little over two years ago I was on a bus going home from college. Two years later, and I was a battle-hardened Knight of Ylisse, engaged to the love of his life.

"…I love you, Cordelia." I said, feeling the words on my lips. Even though I'd said it many times before, somehow, it felt more powerful then. More final. "I love you with all I am."

Cordelia's hand trailed down my covered chest. She looked up at me, her eyes taking on a familiar glint. I found my own hand trailing up her back.

Our faces grew closer again. "Show me." Cordelia whispered.

* * *

_My life was a cycle of light and dark. Life and death. Peace and war. When one took charge, the other bided it's time until it could finally strike._

_I ascended the hill, away from the red and the blood and the dying, and into the light. The light I'd been chasing for eons. The light I thought I'd continue to run for until the end of time. It was right there, within my grasp, and with it, I saw._

_There, surrounded by color and light, they stood. Red hair followed the breeze. One carried an expression of mirth, while the other looked at me, her blue eyes expecting. Wanting me to join them._

_Who was I to refuse that call?_

_The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the wind blew against my skin gently, as if it sought to cradle me in its embrace. There was only one whom I wanted to hold, and in that moment, I held her close._

_I would never let go. Even if the sun set and the land was drenched with the blood of the fallen again, I would not let go. The entire world could burn for all I cared. As long as I had these two, I would be able to power through it. To fight it. I'd find whatever strength my body possessed and fight that which wanted our deaths._

_The very evil that was on the horizon._

_It began slowly at first, but I recognized its call all the same. The roar of a maelstrom, clouding the horizon and choking the sky with black smoke. It blocked the sun, threatening everything I held dear._

_But I was different then. Different from the fool that squandered his days in battlefields and rivers of red, searching for a light that was never there. Searching for a light that never existed rather than the one that was by his side all along._

_He drew his sword, and others drew their weapons alongside him, all towards one purpose._

_Protect the future._

_Protect the light._

_Protect those dear to us._

_I charged._

_And, once more, I was in a storm of fury and blades. Dancing between them as best as I could. My sword cut through rotten flesh and broken armor, a companion for the harsh fight that now engulfed everything._

_In the end, we were losing._

_I watched as my comrades, my friends, fell. One by one. Falling to the ground with swords in their backs and axes through their knees and spears through their hearts. And yet, I fought on. Fighting in their stead, fighting through the pain, fighting with every last shred of energy I had. The monsters with red eyes closed in. Even with our strength, they were more. They were infinite. They were everywhere._

_I felt myself losing to the carnage. Losing to the insanity of it all. I held fast for as long as I could, my sword dull and stained with the black blood of thousands of purple corpses._

_They were many, and we were not._

_Despite it all, through the cacophony of shouts and swords and blood splattering against the wounded ground, I heard it. A piercing scream. A cry that chilled my bones and shocked my heart. In that moment, I felt nothing as my eyes scanned the ground, searching for them._

_I found them. I wished I hadn't._

_Their armor was sundered, their bodies bleeding, the red liquid staining the tired earth, dying it a shade of crimson that matched their hair. Their eyes were closed, never to be opened again. Never to laugh again. Never to hear again. Never to love again._

_Never. Never. NEVER._

_They were gone. And I was still there._

_A roar so ungodly came to my ears, but it did not originate from a dragon or monster. It came from my own mouth. I screamed at the sky, at the world, and I finally let go._

_I smashed my way through them. Ripping and tearing through dead flesh like a wild animal gone mad. I stuck my right hand through one's mouth and separated his head from his body. I gutted one with my sword, watching as it tried feebly to put itself back together. I tore one's arm off and beat it until it was a pile of purple and black mush. I killed and killed and killed and KILLED._

_There was no end to the slaughter. No end to the pain. No end to the blood and death and dying and betrayal._

_They were all dead, and I remained._

_I struck them down, over and over again, as six red eyes peered at me through impenetrable clouds. The mirth they beheld could be felt for miles. It did not care. It laughed at me. Laughed at the suffering and the corpses._

_As if it wanted to let me stew, the purple monsters stopped. Not a body was left on that battlefield, save for the ones of my comrades. My wife. My child. My everything._

_My footfalls rang hollowly in my ears, a faint laugh in the distance, slowly growing louder with every step._

_They were still there, sprawled out on the floor, their pale skin no longer flushed with life. In that moment, I realized that no matter how many monsters I slaughtered, no matter how many battles I won, no matter what costs I paid, their eyes would never open. They would forever remain closed until they rotted and opened again and broke through the ground to haunt-_

_In their blood, I saw my reflection. A sad old man, with no one to mourn his passing. He was the last one, after all. Who could mourn you if everyone was dead but yourself?_

_His violent, savage glowing red eyes, so much like the ones of the monsters he'd fought forever, gazed at him through the blood._

_In the end, he was no Knight, no brave man, no father, no husband._

_He was a husk of a coward. A fool. A hopeful liar._

_Through the pain and through the anger and through the sadness, he screamed._

* * *

My eyes opened, hazily, the faint feeling of vicious anger clouded the back of my mind, but I still remembered. I remembered bodies, blood, red-!

I shook, my body breaking out in gooseflesh.

Trying to bring my hand up to my face to wipe at my forehead, it was stopped by a lean, warm body. Slowly, the memories from earlier surfaced, and my face flushed. On top of me laid Cordelia, her head on my chest. All I could see was the ocean of red hair that went every which way. Her body was molded against mine, and I could feel our nakedness through the sheets.

No light shone through the curtained windows. Around the room were our discarded clothes, although due to the darkness they looked more like bodies to my eyes. I didn't even remember taking them off, although considering what we did, it would've been difficult if we kept them on.

I shivered, the remains of my nightmare still haunting me. Out of reflex, I hugged Cordelia closer to me. Unlike most of my dreams, the more I thought of it, the more I remembered. I saw them both, broken and dead, on a hellish battlefield. A childish part of me thought that pressing her closer to me would somehow make it go away and, granted, it felt nice. But it didn't dispel the images.

I'd failed once before. In the future. I wondered, then, whether I'd fail again.

Cordelia murmured happily, snuggling closer to me. I notice a small smile on her face. It was the most content I'd ever seen her.

Too bad I had to ruin that with my erratic breathing. With the rapid rising and falling of my chest, she slowly stirred. Her red eyes opened, sleepy, but full of life. For a moment, her expression was blank, confused even. Then our eyes met and she smiled brilliantly.

Her expression faltered when she noticed my state.

"…Love?" Cordelia whispered, rising slightly to get a better look at me? "Is something wrong? You look…"

I turned away from her, unable to meet her gaze. A moment ago, they reminded me of life. Then, I remembered them closed, never to be opened again-

I felt a warm hand cup my cheek and forced me to look at her. "Alex?"

This time, I could see everything. Her gorgeous face, her radiant eyes, her smooth, pale skin, the modest swell of her breasts, everything. She was still there. Alive. With me. I didn't want to believe that she'd ever leave me alone.

"…I had a nightmare," I finally said, feeling incredibly childish, "That I… That we lost. I saw you, everyone, just… gone. Your eyes wouldn't open. Severa's… I don't know what it means and I'm really sorry for-!"

Luckily, I never finished my rambling. Cordelia had apparently heard enough and took matters into her own hands.

Suddenly, I was enveloped in her warmth, mercifully smothering my thoughts. Her arms encircled my neck, her bare chest pressed against mine. She sighed softly as she settled into place, her lips right next to my ear.

I heard her next words very, very clearly.

"I'm not going anywhere," Cordelia murmured softly, adamantly. " _We're_ not going anywhere. I don't care what dreams you have, or what the future will throw at us. Right now, my place is at your side, and you at mine. As far as I'm concerned, nothing will ever change that."

I felt tears at the corners of my eyes. As always, I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her as close to me as I possibly could. With the momentary but usual frustration of not being able to feel her with two hands, I nuzzled into the side of her neck. All I wanted was to feel her warmth, feel her skin on mine, for the rest of time.

I felt my eyes close, and mercifully, no other dreams came to me that night.

_The bloodshed seems so far away…_

* * *

I didn't awaken from slumber with a jolt or in a haze. Thankfully.

Golden beams flowed through the curtains like water down a stream, casting the room in brilliant light. I tried getting up, only to find something, or someone, holding me down.

It was a wonder how I even functioned if I could forget what happened last night. It started out innocently enough at first, but then we  _really_ started going at it, and one thing led to another and…

Well, suffice to say that it was the best night of my entire life. I'd've damned myself if I forgot it. The snuggling that came after was cozy, too.

Unfortunately, all good things had to come to an end, and I was hungry. And I was sure Cordelia would be too when she woke up. Couldn't get her off me without waking her up, so I decided to just roll with it.

"Rise and shine, beautiful." I whispered into her ear. "Time to get up."

Cordelia groaned, and moved closer.

"Not that I mind that, but we have to get up. Who knows how late we are for our duties?"

Cordelia lazily rose her head, with one eye opened and one eye closed. "…Must we?"

"If we don't want Phila and Robin breaking down our door, then yeah." I chuckled.

"Let them." She replied. "I'm comfy."

"So am I, but we gotta get up sometime."

Cordelia groaned again, separating herself from me. I missed her warmth already. "Fine. Just… give me a moment. I still feel, er,  _sore._ "

I was going to ask her why she felt sore, like a dumbass, but immediately thought better of it. I chuckled, gathering my clothes.

* * *

The castle was quiet that day. Despite the sunshine, I could feel a general sense of unease. Between the staff and the guards, several of whom I spotted running through the halls at varying intervals. I opened the door to Robin's office to find no one inside.

It felt as if I was forgetting something. Something important.

I realized what that was when I approached the grand hall. Nearly bowled over Robin when he came charging through the entrance. He took a step back and regarded me with wild red eyes. His coat was unkempt, and his hair was a mess.

"Robin?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. "Did, uh, something happen? Saw a few men running down the halls and everyone seems on edge."

Robin didn't mince words. I felt his words echo through the halls.

"We're out of time. Valm has invaded."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom. Take that. I made it to Valm. Hell, I'm already well beyond what most SI fics even get to. Let's just hope I can get out of the next shitshow of an arc, yeah? I've got a lot of ideas on how it's gonna go, so bear with me. It's either gonna be really good, or horrible
> 
> Guess we'll see when we get there, huh?
> 
> Next chapter'll be a Xenologue chapter, then onto Valm we goooooooooo
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord server: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> See you all next time!


	36. Xenologue: Sentinel of the End

**I Spy**

**One month after the Expedition to Khadein.**

* * *

"C'mon, Ricky! C'mooooon!" Nowi whined, pulling the short apprentice down a street. "We're gonna miss him!"

"I don't even know what we're doing here!" Ricken replied, trying his best to escape the clutches of the manakete, to no avail. Sighing, he eventually gave in and followed her. He felt his cheeks warm up when Nowi held his hand, lacing their fingers together. He decided it'd be a good idea to go along with whatever she was planning. For the moment, at least.

"We gotta get you over that one fear!" Nowi clarified badly. "You know, that one fear? Of that one guy? The guy with the scars across his face who always looks all  _angry_ and you think you'll see him standing over you one night with a knife-!"

"Wait, wait,  _wait!_ " Ricken interrupted incredulously, almost wanting to scream. "What in Naga's name are you even talking about!? The only person I know like that is-!" Ricken gulped, feeling a chill go up his spine. "D-Do you mean Alex…?"

Nowi's face lit up in recognition, a toothy grin finding its way to her youthful face. "Ah, so  _that_ was his name! I always forget it. Aaaanyway, we're gonna go spy on him!"

"W-Why?" Ricken asked, suddenly feeling like he wanted to run away like a scared rabbit. "W-Wouldn't that make him mad at us?"

"Well, yeah, but only if we get caught! Just a lil' harmless eavesdropping, ya know?" Nowi replied, pulling Ricken up to the corner of a building, facing the street nearby. ""Sides, I do this aaaall the time, you just don't know it!"

Ricken didn't know what to do with that information, so he just went along with Nowi's suicide mission.

Nowi peeked around the corner eyes narrowing as she searched for her target. She eventually found him, standing nearby. He looked particularly imposing from where she stood; even with his back against the wall and slouching, he was taller than most people who passed him by, except for a select few. Even from her distance, she could make out his face. A scarred visage, with said damage trailing from his neck and up his chin, all the way up to his right cheek. It was partially covered by the light beard on his features, but still visible. And how could anyone miss the metal hand strapped to his arm?

Nowi smiled deviously. This was where the fun began.

"I-I really don't think we should be doing this, Nowi." Ricken said nervously, playing with his fingers. "If he sees us he might start yelling-"

"Hey, Ricky," Nowi began, interrupting the nervous apprentice. "Did you know Alex is scared of big rabbits?"

Ricken's mind ground to a halt. "…What?" He asked confusedly.

"Yeah, he has this whole  _thing_." Nowi thought for a second. "What was her name? Pan? Pannay? No, it was Panne! Yeah, he's  _scared to death_ of her! I swear I can almost hear his heart beating in his chest when she walks past him!"

The rabbit analogy Ricken thought of earlier came to mind, and he idly wondered if Alex would be scared of him if he were a rabbit. He shook that silly thought away.

"Panne's a taguel…" Ricken mumbled, thinking for a moment. "Did she, uh, do something while she was a rabbit?"

"I dunno." Nowi shrugged. "Happened before I joined. Think it happened during the… uh… the assassination attempt, I think? Eh, whatever. That's old news! I've got a bit more to talk about!"

"C-Can't we just go?" Ricken asked again, this time adjusting his hat. Nowi liked the hat; it was always fun to play with. "I think I've had enough…"

"Oh, c'mon!" Nowi pouted. "Stop being such a worrywart. Everything's fine! See?" She gestured to Alex, who seemed to be looking around for someone. His gaze didn't even hesitate when it met theirs. Either he didn't see them or didn't care. "He's practically blind! Okay, well, maybe not blind, but it's alright! Nothing's gonna happen, trust me!"

Ricken hated to see her pouting like that. He knew he wouldn't be able to resist it for long. "…Alright, I guess we could… stay a little longer," he begrudgingly agreed. "I still don't know why we're spying on him like this. How's it helping me with, er, my  _problem_?"

"I thought the rabbit thing would make you feel better, but I guess you're still scared, huh?" Nowi crossed her arms and propped her head up on her hand. "Hmm. You know, I've heard stories from some of the other Shepherds. They say he used to train with Sully all the time… No, nevermind, that's just sad, not funny." Nowi snapped her fingers. "I got it! You know who Cordelia is, right?"

Ricken nodded, looking down. "Yeah, she's the Flight-Captain training new recruits, right? At least, I thought she was. She's… also a part of the Shepherds, right?"

"Mhm!" Nowi hummed. "Actually, Alex and Cordelia saved me and Gregor back in the deserts. Had all these bad men chasing us. Made me do… all sorts of tricks…" Nowi's face darkened for the first time since Ricken had met her, making him take a step back. Unpleasant memories went through Nowi's head for a moment before she returned to normal. "Ah! Sorry about that! Anyway, they got us and brought us to the Shepherds, and here we are!"

Ricken gulped, and yet he had a strange urge to gather Nowi in his arms. Bitterly, he wondered if he'd even be able to get his arms all the way around her. "Okay, that explains that, but what does that have to do with Cordelia?"

Nowi was about to answer, before she noticed a red-haired lady moving through the crowd and towards Alex. "Why don't we look?"

Alex looked up and noticed her, his face instantly brightening as she approached. Similarly, a smile broke out on Cordelia's fair features, and the two shared a quick embrace.

"He isn't so scary when he's with her, huh?" Nowi remarked. "He's always like that when she's around. Looks like a sourpuss but then when she comes along, he's just all sunshine and smiles!"

Ricken almost couldn't believe it. He hadn't made many interactions with the blond Knight, but he'd never seen him smile like that.

Ricken heard Nowi sigh and froze when he felt her head on his shoulder.

"Don't they look so happy together?" Nowi asked, almost as if she was questioning the world itself instead of Ricken. "I wish I could have that, someday…"

Ricken made a decision then and there. A crucial one. For the moment though, he contented himself with putting an arm around Nowi.

He was a little proud just to be the one with her.

* * *

**Familiar Faces**

**One month before the return from Khadein.**

* * *

Cordelia leaned slightly in her seat, a sigh escaping her lips as she relaxed. "Thank you for this, Sumia. It feels like it's been ages since I could just sit down!"

Sumia sat on the other side of the ornate table, gently sipping a cup of tea. She wasn't sipping because she wanted to; she was scared the teacup would slip from her grasp and crash to the floor. That was one of the aspects about her that never changed, even after becoming the Queen.

"Heh, I've said that same thing to myself for these past few months." Sumia giggled, her heart jumping in her chest as she put down her teacup. The way it wobbled worried her. "I had to take lessons on how to appear queen-ly. Did you know that? They had me walk in the most  _uncomfortable_ shoes in existence! And the speech lessons! Hah…" Sumia paused. "…Remember when we were just kids?"

"I try not to. Some of the things I said back then… Gods, tell me you don't remember anything!"

Sumia looked perplexingly at her red-headed friend. "Why wouldn't I? You didn't say anything embarrassing! I always thought it was really romantic when you talked about being-!"

"Please, please!" Cordelia pleaded. "Not another word!"

Sumia held her hands up placatingly. "Alright, alright! Don't worry; I haven't told anyone else!"

Cordelia breathed out a sigh of relief. "Thank you. There are some things that should never be spoken again," Cordelia thought for a moment. "Although you aren't wrong. Back then we were just the daughters of minor lords, playing with sticks in the forest. Heh…" Cordelia looked off to the side, a whimsical expression on her face. "Now look at us. I'm a Flight-Captain, training recruits along with the great Phila, and you're the Queen of Ylisse! I've always wanted to be where I am now, but Gods do I sometimes wish we could go back to those days."

A small, devious smile made its way to Sumia's lips. "… Even if you had to repeat everything you said back then?"

Cordelia frowned, looking at her best friend for a moment. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. "…Maybe. I'll need to think about it. Wait, what am I saying? That'll never happen, so I have nothing to worry about. Why do you keep bringing that up?"

"Because it was so cute!" Sumia defended herself. "The way you said you wanted to have someone-!"

"I was eight years old!"

"You were also short!"

"What does that have to do with anything!?"

"I don't know!"

Cordelia and Sumia both stood up from their seats, staring each other down. For a moment, silence reigned. Then they both burst into laughter. Even after a few moments, a few giggles could be heard.

"Ahah, I've missed this! Just the both of us, sitting around… Just like old times!" Something occurred to Sumia then, something she'd neglected thinking about for a while. Now that her marriage had come and gone, she was able to reflect on a few choices she made back then. Some of which she had grown to question.

Instead of saying something, she merely looked down at the table, a small frown forming on her face.

Cordelia noticed this, as she rose a brow in curiosity. "Sumia? Is something wrong?"

Sumia jumped, seemingly forgetting her friend's presence for a moment. "E-Er, no, not really. I've just realized something is all."

Cordelia leaned forward. "It must be something big if it makes you frown like that. Do you want to talk about it?"

Sumia pursed her lips. "…It involves you, actually. You'd be… You're the person who deserves to know, after all."

"Sumia?"

"Cordelia, I'm sorry." Sumia said, straight-faced. It was an unnatural expression, as if she was trying her best to maintain it. "I… I haven't been a very good friend, these past few months."

Cordelia's expression became bemused. "What are you talking about?"

"I knew how you felt about Chrom." Sumia continued, her lips beginning to quaver. "And yet, I made you the Maid of Honor at our wedding. I gave you a front row seat as Chrom and I made our vows. I should've known better but I was just so… so _happy_ that I completely forgot about…"

Cordelia began to understand, and with that, she decided to comfort her friend. In her mind, what was in the past was in the past. She'd moved on since then, anyway.

"Sumia." Cordelia said, placing her hand on her friend's. "I'm happy for you. I said that when you asked me to be the Maid of Honor, and I will say it again. I'm happy for you and everything you've achieved in so little time. I mean, you're the Queen of Ylisse! You should be worrying more about all of the paperwork and time you have to spend helping govern the Halidom than worry about a Flight-Captain's old crush."

"B-But what about-?"

"But nothing." Cordelia said firmly. "If it means so much to you, then I forgive you. It was your wedding, and you even gave me the choice. You deserved to be happy." Cordelia smiled, pulling a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Besides, I believe I have found… somebody else."

That's when the tears started. Sumia got up, and in a display of speed Cordelia didn't know was possible, practically shifted around the table between them and hugged her tightly. Cordelia returned it sheepishly, wondering just how they went from talking about when they were children to crying over something so silly.

In her mind, her memory of her crush on Chrom was so faint, as if it wasn't there. She remembered having a crush, of course, but she had to actually think for a moment on who it was for. Her mind was much more preoccupied with logistics and training routines that might help the Pegasus Knight recruits, as well as the image of a blond-haired man.

"T-Thank you, Cordelia! Y-You have no idea how-!" Sumia detached herself from Cordelia, sniffling before composing herself. "S-Sorry that I became so emotional all of a sudden. I-I don't know what came over me!"

"It is hardly befitting of one of your station, Sumia, so…" Cordelia trailed off.

"Yes, yes, of course!" Sumia sniffled one more time before sitting down again. "I apologize again. I hope I didn't…" Another thought occurred to her. This one much more mischievous than the last. "…So, found someone else already, hmm?"

Cordelia's heart dropped. She had made a grave mistake.

"I wonder just who could have grasped your heart so quickly? They must be someone truly exceptional." Sumia stared at her friend, a grin stretching from ear to ear forming on her face. "Let me take a guess… it's Alex, isn't it?"

Cordelia stayed silent and looked everywhere within the room except at her old friend. This only caused Sumia to giggle.

"I knew it! You're head over heels, aren't you?" Sumia gushed. "It's too bad he's away, then. You know, I can't blame you. He does have a certain charm about him. A lot like Chrom now that I think about it, except maybe more… grizzled, in a way. I mean, those scars, and that voice, and those arms that will hold you tight and never let you go-!"

"Gods, listen to yourself, Sumia!" Cordelia cried indignantly. "…You're not wrong, but that's beside the point!"

Their conversations lasted well into the day.

* * *

**A Girl and her Wyvern**

**Three weeks before Walhart's Invasion of Archanea.**

* * *

The boat creaked as faint, blue light seeped through the holes and cracks in the wood above. It rocked and rumbled as if it was being torn apart by some monstrous creature. Next to her, Minerva's reptilian eyes zipped back and forth, as if looking for the cause of the infernal noises that upset her so. She laid a hand on her dearest friend's head, softly shushing the large wyvern. Minerva opened her mouth ever so slightly, letting out a low rumbling sound. Some would say it sounded like a cat purring. Cherche found that an odd and lowly comparison; Minerva was cuter than any feline she'd ever seen.

"Shh, Minerva. It'll be over soon." Cherche cooed, quietly, attempting to calm the wyvern down. "Gods, but these sailors are not very polite, hmm? Locking us down here…" She smiled as Minerva's 'purrs' continued. "It is not as if we had much choice, though, did we? I only hope Walhart's men aren't pursuing us." She giggled. "Although even if they did, I'm sure they would run at the sight of you. Not everyone can appreciate your charms, I suppose."

Minerva produced a sound somewhere between a gurgle and a yip.

Cherche hummed. "You have a point; they  _were_ gracious enough to make enough room for us. They cannot be all bad, surely."

Minerva growled, her slitted iris narrowing.

Cherche smiled good-naturedly. "Oh, I know this is very uncomfortable either way, Minerva, but it wouldn't do for us to be shot out of the sky by Walhart's forces before we even make it to the ocean, hmm? Besides, I know you cannot fly that far. I still remember how far we traveled last time, you know? I do not want to go through that again."

Minerva seemingly paused, blinked, and rumbled again, moving her head away.

"Aww, don't be like that, Minerva. I just said it would be over soon, did I not?" Cherche said, trailing her gloved hand down the reptile's back. Minerva's wing moved a little, covering Cherche. "I knew you still cared."

Cherche leaned back, her armor cushioning her for the most part. Still, sleeping in it for as many days as she had was starting to grate on her. Then again, there was not many opportunities to bathe. Not since Walhart completed his 'assimilation' of her beloved Roseanne. It was only the lower territories that really put up any resistance against his dedicated war machine; the rest had surrendered when her lord left, just as was planned.

Cherche had complicated feelings about that. In the end, however, she understood. His flight ensured that there would still be a Roseanne to come back to, to fight for. Virion was a fool, but a smart fool, as some within his own keep openly stated. All good-naturedly, surely, at least before he left. Cherche had no doubt that he fully intended to return, and she told him that once her work within what remained of her country was over, she would join him.

Two long years later, and there she was, becoming a stowaway on the only ship to leave Valm in almost a year. Most of the ports around the continent had been closed, what with the constant warring, and any stabilized areas within the Empire's control were ordered to keep their harbors closed until further notice.

It made the situation difficult, but as evidenced, she and Minerva had pulled through in the end.

Cherche settled, closing her eyes. There would be several days of this ahead, of loud waves crashing into the sides and boisterous voices shouting above. She was nothing if not patient, and she would bear with it for as long as was necessary.

She only hoped that Lord Virion had secured the help they so desperately needed.

* * *

**Death and Taxes**

**One month before Walhart's Invasion of Archanea.**

* * *

Robin groaned as Alex sheepishly placed more paperwork on his desk. "Gods," He hissed. "What is it this time?'

Alex was silent for a moment, as he was want to do, before explaining: "Requisition order. Lord Fargus' troops are low on weapons. Says he wants fifty swords of iron make, thirty spears of steel, and suggested that a silversteel sword be given to him as a badge of office." Alex then shrugged. "Personally, I didn't wanna bring it to you, but…"

Robin held his hand up, silencing his sworn knight. "I understand. We cannot allow the army to be ill-prepared when Valm invades. However,  _a silversteel sword_!? Does the man think gold grows on trees?"

"He  _is_ a noble from the South, I guess." Alex replied, rubbing the back of his head. A tic that Robin had grown accustomed to the past few years. "And he is a more minor lord, considering he can't afford a fucking sword for himself."

"And yet he would ask me to arm his own troops?" Robin sighed, burying his face in his hands. If it wasn't obvious, the needs of a constant standing army were weighing heavily on him. He didn't trust anyone save for Chrom and Frederick to oversee it, either, and both of them had other duties to attend to that didn't involve maintaining an army of thousands. "I'll approve of the swords and spears, but damn him to hell if he thinks I'll spend a single piece of gold on his shiny new sword."

Alex chuckled. "I had a feeling you'd say that. Wonder when  _I'll_  get a new sword though." Alex paused. "…Or a mount, now that I think about it."

"I'm sorry, Alex, but the Pegasus Knights only accept female applicants." Robin drawled.

"Oh no, you don't say?" Alex replied smarmily, crossing his arms. "Whatever shall I do with my torturous life now?" He snickered. "I was more thinking a horse. Don't tell Cordy this, but Pegasi still creep me out. Always feel like they're staring at me…"

Robin tilted his head at his old friend, curiosity sparking in his mind. Alex was strange at the best of times. So many details about him were baffling; his aversion to all things mundane, like a Wyvern or Pegasus, and yet he could create such things as – Robin had to remember. Severa told him something of it when last he spoke to her – a meatless, yet still savory cheese pie. Robin had never tried it, although it had quickly become a favorite once its simple recipe was spread.

Then there was his near-constant exclaiming of a single man's name. Jesus Christ or something other. He'd heard from Gaius that he was apparently an important religious figure, although beyond that, Alex was mum.

In fact, Alex had been saying such odd phrases less and less, as if he was forgetting them. That was both unfortunate and sad; Robin would very much like to know if all of it was connected somehow. Perhaps the cheese pie –  _Pizza_ , he remembered. – and Jesus Christ were related. He had no substantial evidence to support such a theory, but he found it entertaining to ponder when he wasn't dealing with obtuse nobles or rowdy Shepherds.

At least the Shepherds were his friends. At least, he thought they still were. Robin hadn't really spoken with many of them in a long while.

Robin chuckled lightly. "Perhaps a Wyvern, then? We would need to import one from Plegia, you know, and I don't think they will be very forthcoming."

Alex snorted. "Yeah, and have it eat me two seconds after we meet. I already have one iron limb, Robin, I don't need another one."

"Hmm. True. I don't want my Knight to be more metal than man when the time comes. Perhaps just a horse then? You may not be very proficient when Valm arrives, but it'll be a start. The marches will become less grueling, surely."

"Hell, I'd be happy to just march again. Dolorous Guard was small time. Heh." Alex's green gaze trailed off, looking beyond Robin at something else, something only he could see. "It's a little nostalgic, honestly." Alex said softly. "It'll, uh, be nice to be around everyone again."

"…That it will be." Robin replied slowly.

He had to admit, he shared Alex's sentiments, somewhat. Robin's place was on the battlefield, directing troop movements and devising a strategy that will tear the enemy apart, not becoming practically  _married_ to his desk while he dealt with the idiotic wishes of noble-born fools who could not tell the pointy end of their sword from the pommel.

A life like that carried its own risks, of course, and not just to himself. Frederick's injuries and Donnel's death proved that there would always be plans that failed. That left a bitter taste in his mouth, but it was the truth. And he would not run away from the truth.

No matter what it would be.

"…Anyways." Alex began, snapping out of his reverie. "I'll just go and send this to Lord Fargus then. And also tell him he can buy his own shiny sword."

"That would be prudent, yes," Robin agreed. "However, please do not phrase it in such a way. I want to be currying favor with these nobles, not antagonizing them."

Alex shrugged, taking the signed and noted paper with him. "No promises, milord. You know how they can be sometimes. If you don't shut them down before they get going, they…" He cringed. "…Well, they can  _really_ get going, you know."

"Call me 'milord' again and I will throw you out the window."

"What, with your noodley arms?" Alex chuckled. "Not likely!" He opened the door. "Don't worry, Robin, I'll choose my words carefully. Why don't you relax? It'll do you some good."

Robin sighed as Alex left.

_If only he could._

* * *

**The Mask of Time**

**The Doomed Timeline**

* * *

Sweat dripped down Lucina's face as she ran, along with her friends.

The sky was an ashen grey, occasionally marred by red. Lightning struck seemingly at random, scorching the ground where it landed. The ground was barren and dying, even as they closed in on the temple at Mount Prism. In front of them all was Alexander, taking the role as their vanguard, as he had done countless times before.

"Risen, to our right!" Shouted Kjelle, spearing one of the masked horrors through the chest.

_The Fell Dragon's forces have gone this far!?_

They engaged the enemy as they kept going, not slowing down for a second. They were the last hope for a new, brighter future. One not tainted by the Fell Dragon. If they could make it to Naga's temple, they would have a chance.

Alexander charged shoulder first into a Risen, pushing it backwards as he swung his sword up. The Risen's arm flew off, and with one final slash the monster dissipated for good. Lucina couldn't see his face behind the helmet he wore, but she imagined that same, neutral expression he always carried. At times, it was unnerving. Other times, it was comforting. Alexander was a rock; something that kept them all grounded. As long as he was not panicking, there was a fair chance everything would be fine.

Lucina knew better, but she let the belief spread. It was good for morale.

They finally made it to the doors of Naga's temple. They were as intricately decorated as the books said, although she did not have time to admire it. The doors were open, and that was what mattered.

"Let's go. All of you! Get inside, now!" Alexander barked, his harsh voice nearly drowning out the chaos.

One by one, her friends entered. Even Gerome, along with Minerva. Lucina remembered how hard it was to convince him to even come along.

The last to enter was Severa, who spared one last glance for Alexander. A glare, more like. Lucina looked between them for a moment, wondering what had happened. Alexander did not react, even as he seemingly made eye contact with the redhead. Severa scoffed and went inside the temple.

Then Lucina and Alexander were alone.

Before either could say a word, however, an unearthly  _roar_ was heard across the battlefield. Lucina paled.

"Grima…!" She hissed, grip tightening around Falchion's hilt. "He is already here!"

She could still remember her close run-in with the God of Destruction not long before. Its face would haunt her nightmares for the rest of her life. Even from afar, Grima gave her the jitters.

"Yes," Alexander replied, his voice that same monotone. "Him and his army. Look." He pointed with his iron hand to the sea of Risen just beneath the Fell Dragon. "What we faced here was just a vanguard. They will be upon us in moments."

Even with how long she had known him, Lucina was still stunned with the flippancy he said that. It sounded as if he was reading a book aloud instead of facing down an entire army of the masked dead.

"Head inside, kid," Alexander rumbled. "I'll take care of this."

"Have you lost your wits, Sir Alex!?" Lucina exclaimed, grabbing him by the shoulder. "If you face this army, you will die! Come with us, I beg of you! I'm sure we could-!"

Alexander shook his head slowly. "I was never going to go with you all, Lucina. Only you are needed for this. The least I could do is make sure I take as many of those dastards as I can with me."

"Gods, listen to yourself!" Lucina shook him by the shoulders, although even then Alexander only slightly swayed. "What of Severa? What of all of us? Would you have us-!?"

"Severa can take care of herself. I made sure of that much." Alexander replied bitterly, shaking Lucina's hands off him. "And the rest of you have no more need of this old Knight. If I can't convince you with reason then allow me to say this: let me go with the knowledge that I was able to fulfill your father's last order."

Lucina took a step back as if she had been struck. "What do you mean?"

"I promised your father on the eve of his death that I would make sure you and all the others would survive should he fall in battle." Alexander's helmeted head looked down. "I have fulfilled my purpose. I beg of you, Lucina, let me die in the world I spent half my life fighting for."

Lucina could think of many reasons why Alexander would want this. She could have argued more. Technically, she could have ordered him to follow them. Instead, she placed a hand on his shoulder one last time and nodded.

"Thank you, My Exalt," Alexander said, his voice cracking slightly. "Go. I'll hold these  _fuckers_ off."

Lucina backed off slowly and turned towards the still-open door.

"Take care of my little girl for me, you hear?" She heard him say, just barely audible.

Lucina took one last look back. Alexander had his back to her, staring off at the army of Risen.

That was the last time she saw Sir Alexander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter this time. I like doing these things sometimes. Usually at the ends of arcs, since the first and last time I did one of these was back in... damn, I think it was September. Fuck, this fic is almost 9 months old. Holy shit-
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord server: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy! See you guys next time!


	37. Battle Preparations

Riding a horse was not as difficult as some would think. Sure, you were essentially placing your life in the hooves of a giant animal whose only real worry in the world is when it'll get its next sugar cube, but the risk was worth it. I didn't have to march on foot anymore. Well, most of the time. Either way, my legs thanked me for it. Marching for hours in full plate armor could do a number on them, after all.

If I had to equate it to something, it'd be like riding a bike. Except the bike was alive and wants to eat shit and then  _actually_ shit. That was my least favorite part.

_It saves you the marching, boy scout. Quit complaining._

We set off the afternoon we received the news that Valm had invaded. Port Ferox was attacked by ships, and that was all the news that had come from the seaside settlement. It was a good thing most of the army was nearby, and the Shepherds had just gotten done with their routine patrols of the country, because I had a feeling we would need all of them. The size of our caravan, which basically only consisted of the Shepherds and a contingent of soldiers, was already massive. I wouldn't say it was bigger than the one that assaulted Dolorous Guard, but still sizeable in its own right.

I had to stop myself from sighing every so often. I'd known Valm was coming. Always known. I just wished it didn't happen  _then_. So soon after proposing.

Looking down, I could see the golden band adorning my left hand, the brilliant red gemstone shining in the Ylissean summer sun. And just like that, I was smiling again. Cordelia was leading the scouting expedition, since Pegasi could travel farther and faster than any man or horse. We'd rendezvous with her group in Bellator.

"Ya look like yer about to fall over dead." A familiar, deep, feminine voice said brusquely. "And here I am, not having kicked yer ass today. What gives?"

I found myself chuckling, looking up to see Sully riding up to me. "I dunno. Maybe I just find myself weak at the knees in your presence."

Sully snorted. "Here's I was thinkin' only Cordy could do that to ya. Nice to know I got my own womanly charms, then. Har! Maybe Vaike'll finally notice."

My brows furrowed. "…He still hasn't proposed. Jesus, both of you have the largest amount of sexual tension I've ever seen, and you still haven't… Gods, I thought for sure after Khadein that he'd-!"

"Yeah, yeah, preachin' to the choir, here." Sully interrupted, making a talking gesture with her hand. "It's gods' damn maddening, but who gives a rat's ass. 'Sides, now ain't exactly the time to start proposin' and shit. We got a war on our hands again." Sully looked at my left hand, and smirked. "Hasn't stopped you, though, huh?"

"…I thought we'd have more time." I said quietly, looking down at the beast below me. It occurred to me that I had no idea what its name was. I'd need to change that soon. Petting its sorrel mane, I turned back to Sully. "Was just a few days ago, actually. Happiest day of my goddamn life. Now,  _this_." I continued, bitterly. "I've got a feeling things'll get a whole lot more complicated from here on out."

"…Shit, I ain't good at this  _feelin's_  and shit, but…" Sully said awkwardly, looking off to the side before turning her attention back to me. "Just use that in yer favor. Make those dastards pay for ruinin' yer crap."

I barked a laugh. "That's the plan, Sully! I'm gonna end this fucking war, and when we get back, I'm going to  _marry the fuck_ outta Cordy."

"See? That's the spirit!" Sully chuckled, slapping me on the back. "Maybe ya can help Vaike do the same when we get back. Little musclebound dastard just can't take a damn hint for the life of him. Maybe I'll just do it myself…"

I thought for a second. "Might have to get Gaius's help for that. He's more of a people person than I am. Ah, what the hell, when this war's over, there's gonna be a lot of kids, huh?"

Sully raised a brow. "Most of us still haven't gotten married and we're already parents. Or did ya just forget about that little tidbit? Where the hell are they, anyway? All the future kids?"

I nodded my head forward. "Up towards the front of the formation. Don't ask me why; ask Robin."

"Ain't you his Knight?"

"…Shut up."

* * *

We stopped at Auraegis, the old fortress city. Missed the place, in a strange way. Almost nostalgic, even. I hadn't been there since… well, I thought it was during our march up to Bellator the first time. My memory was shit, though, so I might've been there after that. That was back when things were relatively simple, when we only had to worry about bandit incursions. Although, back then, if my memory was correct, I was a real piece of work.

I didn't hate my past self; I realized I wouldn't be the person I was or in the position I was in without him.

_You're still not at your best. But you're not at your worst. Not anymore._

Taking some solace in that, I decided to head into town with a friend.

"I'm telling you, Vaike." I said, going down some steps with the blond-haired fighter at my side, his usual goofy grin on his face. "She's ready. She's fucking  _beyond_ ready. I know we're heading out to go fight foreign invaders and shit, but in my opinion, this isn't something you should wait on."

"Damn, don't I know it!" Vaike hooted, conspicuously. "Let the Vaike tell ya somethin', Alex… He ain't no coward. He ain't never run from a fight, and damn him to hell if he ever does."

I looked at him like a sane man might look at an asylum patient. "…Alright. Not sure what that has to do with anything…"

"Ain't you been there the whole time?" Vaike replied. "The Vaike ain't the sharpest sword in the armory, but he knows love when he feels it! Heh."

"Well damn, you actually admitted it." I remarked mildly.

"Teach ain't scared to admit his faults!" Vaike proclaimed boldly. "It's just that he don't got many of 'em!"

I waved my hand nonchalantly. "Sure, sure," I drawled. "Alright, think this is the place…"

We looked up at the unassuming shop, a sign I didn't bother reading above the wooden door. I saw a few people leave with filled totes, which just confirmed it in my mind.

"Not sure if they'll have a ring or anything in here, but if you wanna come, be my guest." I said.

"Vaike's goin' where you're goin'."

"Why? Scared of being alone?"

"Nah, gotta watch yer back." Vaike said, cockily crossing his arms. "We've been through too much; can't let ya die just 'cause ya got blindsided, yeah?"

"Get in the damn door before I shove you through it."

We entered the establishment with heads held high and nothing on our minds but having a quick shopping trip before we went marching towards Bellator, and the battle that would come after it. I, however, nearly faceplanted when I heard a disturbingly familiar voice come from the counter at the other end of the shop.

"Hi!" The cheerful, light voice chirped. "Come on in! Feel free to take a look around. If you find anything you'd like, just gimme a holler!"

I looked to the shopkeeper to see a slightly taller than average woman with a fair complexion and dark red hair tied in a ponytail. Somewhat baggy clothes covered her frame. S cheery smile was plastered on her pretty face.

_Anna._

Even after years of being cut off from anything Fire Emblem related, I'd be hard pressed to forget her. Being real notwithstanding. I felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me for a moment. I could remember myself playing…  _something_ , but I couldn't remember the name of it. It was called Fire Emblem Awakening, obviously, but beyond that…

I decided to shuffle those thoughts for later. Or never. Never sounded better, in all honesty. I had a fiancée, a child, friends. I had no use for information that didn't involve them. Everything else could be forgotten for all I cared.

_Never forget where you come from, but embrace the new world._

"Hey, Alex, ya good?" Vaike asked, grabbing me by the shoulder and giving me a shake. "Ah damn, ya turned into a spacecase after all. Shame, that. Shouldn't of hit ya so hard on the head that one time, I guess."

I shook my head, coming back to my senses. "Oh shut the fuck up, Vaike. We both know I've done plenty of damage to you too. Maybe that's why you haven't proposed to Sully yet?"

"Oh yeah? Ya think that's why?" Vaike challenged. "Aight then, I'll go buy a ring! You, missus, uh…"

"Just call me Anna!" The merchant woman perked up, suddenly very interested in our conversation. "Tell me if I'm wrong, but, you said you're planning on proposing, aren't you?"

"That I am, and don't listen to this bag o' rocks back here; the rocks are all in his head, yeah?" Vaike said smarmily, causing me to scoff. "Anyway, yeah, I'm in the market for a, er, pricey possession."

"A ring, you mean? Oh, I do love bringing couples together!" Anna squealed, either showing genuine enthusiasm, or actually being just that interested. "Wait right here; I'll check the back."

Anna trekked towards the back of the store, leaving Vaike and I alone.

"Heh, see? She was charmed right silly! Maybe she'll even give Teach a discount!" Vaike smiled smugly.

"… _Or_." I began, holding my iron hand up. "Or, she's buttering you up so you'll be willing to spend more."

"Now you're just bein' jealous, heh." Vaike chuckled. "Just you watch, the Vaike'll run outta here with two rings and plenty o' gold to spare!"

"Whatever you say, 'Teach'." I said, shrugging and trying to stifle laughter. "I'll just sit here and watch you fail at bartering."

That's exactly what I proceeded to do; I watched Vaike probably pay more than was necessary for a simple pair of gold bands, all because he couldn't keep the lid on that ungodly passion of his. Even then, I couldn't help but smile at the sight of it. It was… normal. Normal. Just two friends talking and teasing each other for a good hour and a half. I'd grown drunk on those sorts of experiences both back where I came from and in Ylisse, over the past few years. Besides the monstrous bump that was Khadein, and the smaller bump that was Dolorous Guard, I'd found myself strangely at peace. Most of the time.

I knew that would end soon. Valm had made landfall.

Darkly, I wondered if I'd have to say goodbye to any of my friends.

* * *

The horse I was given, and which I'd been riding on the way to Auraegis, had sorrel colored fur and small, white markings at his hooves and forehead, with beady brown eyes. Well, not beady. They were actually kind of nice. Hell, he was really well-tempered, as far as I could tell. I remembered his breed being called an 'Ylissean Warmblood'. Whatever that meant.

We had a group who handled the horses while we weren't using, giving us the free time we usually needed. Still, I was going to get to know my horse. As much as you could get to know a giant animal. Still had to come up with a name, too, but that was a bust.

"Hey boy!" I said, coming up to the makeshift stables. My horse trotted up to me, whinnying softly. "Yeah, it's me. How's it going?"

I knew it couldn't understand me, but talking to animals was always fun. Especially with dogs.

_…I need to get a dog at some point. Hope Cordy's not allergic._

"Guess what I got you?" The horse tilted its head, looking down at the pack on my hip. "Yeah, it's in there. Get your face away from it. Heh."

Didn't know what kind of treat to get him, so I just decided to go for two: An apple and a sugar cube. The whinnying grew a little louder once I showed him the apple.

"Alright, guess I know what you like, huh? Here ya go, you giant bastard." Gently, I handed my horse the fruit, watching as he ate with what I assumed to be gusto. I'd need to study up on horse body language or something, because I couldn't read him at all. "…I really need to come up with a name for you. Hang on…"

Name's were not my specialty, and they never would be. I wasn't like Owain; I couldn't come up with a million different names for the steel sword strapped to my hip, or the armor I wore into battle. However, those were all inanimate objects. Tools. The horse in front of me was alive and breathing. It felt wrong to just leave him without a name.

_Well, he probably had a name, but they didn't bother to tell you when you got him from the castle's stables._

I thought for a good minute, at least, before settling on something. "…How about Pippin?" I wondered aloud, feeling the name out. I nodded, smiling. "Yeah, sounds good to me. Pippin. Do you like that name?"

Pippin didn't seem to care. If anything, he looked curious about the sugar cube I held in my hand.

I laughed. "Alright, alright, here ya go you greedy ponce. Enjoy it. We might not have a lot of that where we're going."

"Ah, interesting to find you here, Sir Alexander!" An accented voice spoke up, causing me to jump slightly. Pippin merely turned his head to look at the newcomer. "Checking on your horse, I see? How thoughtful of you! We may have a contingent of wonderful stable hands to take care of them for us, but that does not mean we cannot spend the time to get to know our noble steeds more, hmm?"

_Virion. Archest of Archers, and father to Grima's children._

"…Lord Virion." I said, regarding the purple-haired duke as he walked up beside me. "I didn't know you had a horse."

"Oh, but I don't, my good sir." Virion clarified, adjusting his cravat. "I do, however, like to admire them. They work so much and ask for so little in return."

"Maybe it's because they can't speak."

"Ah, perhaps so!" Virion chuckled. "It has been some time since we have conversed, hasn't it?"

"Give or take a few years." I replied, focusing more on petting Pippin's head rather than the archer beside me. "You beat me in a game."

"So I did. That really  _was_ some time ago, then." Virion continued. "I apologize that we have not had the chance to speak more often. I never had the chance to ask you about your homeland, although Lady Maribelle was forthcoming. It would seem that that no longer matters to you, either way."

I stopped suddenly, turning my head slowly to meet Virion's purple gaze. "…What do you mean?"

"Perhaps it is a raw subject? Hmm, I suspected as much." Virion said, holding a hand to his chin. "I merely wanted to remark that you seem to have assimilated quite well. Why, you fight as any other Ylissean Knight I have ever seen! Perhaps not as graceful as the Chevaliers of my homeland, but I know that I am biased in that regard. Were I to have met you now rather than earlier, I would have assumed you to have been Ylissean by birth."

"Gee. Thanks."

"Please, Sir Knight, that was not meant in mockery or jest. In fact, I find it quite admirable!" Virion backtracked. "It is good to know of your skills and such in battle; I have an inkling that the Hero of Khadein and the Archest of Archers will be fighting side by side again before too long."

Everyone in the Halidom knew we were going to Valm. I'd almost completely forgotten about Virion, though, and that he was from the western continent. If I remembered correctly, he was the Duke of Roseanne or something similar. He also ran when his country needed him the most, when they were going to fight Walhart with everything they had as long as he was at the helm.

_He's a coward._

Rationally, I knew that he made the best decision given the circumstances. Even then, in my opinion, it would have been better to die fighting for a better future rather than running away so that your people submit willingly to a rampaging tyrant. What kind of a life were his people living, under the Conqueror's thumb? Would that be a life worth living?

That way of thinking was stupid and dangerous, but I couldn't help but feel it.

"…Yeah, maybe." I said quietly, giving Pippin one last pat on the head. "I think I'm going to go to sleep. We have to get up early tomorrow."

"I… Of course, Sir Alexander." Virion replied. "Pleasant dreams and long nights."

I left the stables quickly, not wanting to spend another minute in there. I was being irrational, of course, but my  _rational_ moments were few and far between, and by God, was that not one of them. Opening the flaps to my tent, I haphazardly threw my things to the side and climbed into my bedroll.

_…I know you miss her warmth, but with luck, you'll meet up with her in just a week._

Wasn't some lovesick puppy or anything. Cordelia was my fiancée for God's sake. And I knew she could take care of herself. Maybe I'd just grown used to sleeping with her by my side.

Uneasily, with lingering thoughts, I fell asleep.

* * *

Bellator was quiet.

That was the first thing that hit me. It'd been years since I'd even thought of the place, but even then, I could tell something was wrong. A certain tension hung in the air, thicker than butter. The typical Feroxi architecture seemed more run-down than I remembered. Even through all that, somehow, I felt a pang of nostalgia.

Didn't make sense why I felt that; last time I was in Bellator, Robin and I almost got into a fist fight. Those were times I didn't like to think about. It all seemed like a blur in my head, that time, like I was seeing it from someone else's eyes, and not my own.

_Whatever. We have a war to start._

The fortress of the city sat on a hill, with several walls. Just like I remembered. We ascended the long ramp, and when we arrived attendants took our wagons and horses. I said bye to Pippin before we entered.

We were shown to somewhat large room with a big round table in the middle, and several chairs.

The first war council was about to begin.

"…Is she held up or…?" Chrom said, squinting at the door as if it'd make Flavia appear.

"Perhaps she had other business to finish, milord." Frederick spoke up with a slight wheeze. He demanded he be brought along, despite his state. His wound was still affecting him, but he could move around, at least. "She is the reigning Khan after all. 'Twould be expected."

Myself, Chrom, Robin, Frederick, and Phila were in the room, just waiting around for when the Khans would show themselves.

"…This may seem a breach of etiquette, milord." Phila began. "But I do have some news I was unable to share with you this morning."

Chrom stared longingly at the door before sighing. "Go ahead, Phila."

The white-haired falcon knight nodded. "I have received a message from Cordelia. She should rendezvous with us soon, along with-"

The doors burst open. "Gods' damn these dastards-! Got my advisors all freaking out." A deep, but distinctly feminine voice boisterously growled, before looking at all of us gathered around the table. "Ah, damn, almost forgot you all were here. Sorry about that. Having the western harbor taken makes people jittery, though. Sure you understand; couldn't just leave them alone without some reassurance."

"I understand completely, Khan Flavia." Chrom said. "There's-"

"Oh, please, Chrom, I appreciate the title but you of all people should know that we're basically at war right now; leave the titles at the door, we're all brothers and sisters-in-arms from this point forward, ya hear me?"

Chrom blinked before chuckling. "That's… ha, that's reassuring. Anyway, I've brought all the men I could with me. Do we know anything about what's happening to the west?"

"What's happening, he asks!" Flavia laughed. "I'll tell you what's happening: Everything that daughter of yours from the future said is gods' damned  _true_. Speaking of, where's the lass, by the by? And that clumsy Queen of yours?"

"Well, I tried to keep her from coming, but…" Chrom said, looking to the table awkwardly.

"…She demanded to come, in simple terms." Robin finished for him, his arms folded on the table. "As I understand it, she would not take no for an answer. She's with the others as we speak; she'd rather focus on keeping morale up for our troops."

"Ha!" Flavia barked another laugh. "That's the spirit! Sometimes I wonder if you're part Feroxi, Prince. Ya sure got the same taste in women as one!"

"I believe it would be prudent to get to the matter at hand." Frederick rumbled. "If we dawdle too long, the Valmese will overrun us, no matter how much we have prepared."

"I concur with Sir Frederick." Phila said. "The longer we are in the dark, the more time they have to march into our lands."

"Bunch of sticklers, huh?" Flavia raised a brow, sitting at the head of the table. "Fine, then. 'Spose we better start someplace." Flavia coughed. "Around two weeks ago, I got reports from my men stationed at Port Ferox that a ship had come in. Turns out, it's the first ship from Valm in over a damned year."

_Embargoes are fucked._

"They had a woman on board." Flavia continued, crossing her arms. "Said she had more info on the Valmese and how they were gonna invade. Course, we already knew that from you, so that didn't surprise me. What surprised me was that the damned Valmese were right on her coattails. Several ships, so it's said. A vanguard. The real invasion fleet is still away."

"How many? How many ships? Men?" Robin asked.

"A dozen ships, at least." Flavia reported. "Filled to bursting with cavalry. Even with the men I had stationed there, they were overrun within a few days."

"…I should have asked to station troops there." Robin said quietly, his eyes not meeting anyone else's. "If I had I could have-"

"No use crying over it now. Besides, think of it this way: it'll be easier fighting 'em for the first time on our own soil rather than that foreign slog-pit they call a continent." Flavia shrugged. "Besides, you're here now. All that matters to me. Nice to know you Ylisseans keep your promises."

"I'll never turn away a friend in need." Chrom added adamantly.

"Is that you see us as? Friends?" Flavia asked. "Hmm. In any case, they're here now, and we better show 'em what we're made of. As far as I know, they haven't left the port. It's almost like they're waiting for something."

"Perhaps waiting for the Winter. Hmm." Robin said, curiously. "Yes. Attempting to establish a foothold and beachhead, rally their troops during the Winter, then running over all of Ferox once next Spring arrives. Tell me, Khan Flavia, is this woman who stowed away on that ship you spoke of earlier here? What can you tell me about her?"

"Her name's Cherche. Gorgeous lass from Roseanne," Flavia said. "She was able to escape the harbor on her Wyvern before it was completely conquered."

"A Wyvern?" Chrom echoed.

"And mean as hell too. Har! It snapped at Basilio when he tried to ask the lass some questions. The big oaf squealed like a girl!"

"…I will be back." Robin said suddenly, standing up. "I want to speak with this woman before I devise a strategy. Alex, with me."

"Ah, I was wondering why the blond was with you." Flavia said quietly. "Retainer or something?"

"Yeah," I spoke up. First word I said throughout that entire meeting. "Robin keeps me around. Kinda like a stray dog, ha."

"A stray wouldn't attack at my command." Robin commented.

Flavia held a hand to her chin, chuckling. "Heh, so just a dog then? Interesting." Flavia waved her hand. "Go ahead and talk to her. She's down in the aerie with her Wyvern. Just be careful, alright? Still need your head for when we take back my harbor."

* * *

"Alex."

"Yeah?"

"…Just wanted to clarify, I don't  _actually_ think of you as dog or anything degrading like that."

I chortled. "Don't worry about it, man. That kinda joking around is good for the soul." I shrugged. " _Anyway_ , this Cherche character…"

"Do you know anything about her, perchance?" Robin asked, brow raised.

"She's Virion's retainer." I said, taking a breath as we walked down the hall. "Virion is a real noble, you know; he ain't just putting on airs. Even if he  _is_ a coward…"

"Hmm." Robin hummed, staring down the hall to the door to the aerie. "Well, then. Let us see for ourselves."

The big wooden doors opened to reveal a large stone room. It only had three walls; where the fourth would be was a gaping hole to the outside world. The sun hung low in the sky, the orange light filtering through thin curtains of mist. A squawk to my left as we entered alerted me to the presence of a Griffon. It held its beaked head high and spread its feathery wings. I felt a chill down my spine looking at it, like did with Pegasi. At least I was used to them; Griffons were almost completely alien to me still.

What really got to me was that there were no restraints to keep them in the aerie. They just sort of… lazed about. Although there was one place they were all seemingly avoiding. A little corner to our left. The Griffon's eyed that area with piercing eyes, and I could hear voices coming from it.

Robin and I exchanged glances, and moved forward.

"Virion, were you to worry over me much more, Minerva would be jealous." I heard a giggle. "And we both know how she can be. I find it cute, but others find it less so."

"Ah, but you know me, Cherche. I cannot help it when my beloved retainer so brazenly risks her life for my sake…"

"Loathe as I am to say it, I did not risk my life just for you, my lord." The woman was quick to rebuke. "I did it for the duchy. For all of Roseanne."

"So you did. And I could not be happier with that fact." The accented male voice replied.

Robin decided then was the time to make ourselves known. "I hope I am not interrupting something?"

The long-haired noble spun around, a friendly smile on his face. "Ah, Grandmaster Tactician! A surprise to see you here, to be sure, but a welcome one. I assume you came here to check on my retainer?"

Robin nodded. "Yes. Although I'd prefer if you'd just call me  _Robin_ , Virion."

Virion blinked. "…Of course. My apologies. What is a title among friends, hmm? Not that I would ever desire to lose my own. The Archest of Archers is a title worthy to be whispered around the campfires of our enemies-!"

"Please ignore my lord, sirs, for he knows not that what he does is embarrassing to all associated with him." Cherche said, a dangerous edge in her voice.

The Roseannean woman stood up, impressing me already with how tall she was. Certainly stood taller than Robin, for sure. Long hair trailed down her back that fluttered in the wind slightly as she walked towards us.

"I take it you are the Grandmaster Tactician of Ylisse? Robin, was it?" She asked, smiling. "A pleasure to meet you, sir. My name is Cherche de La Trémoïlle, retainer in service to Duke Virion of the Duchy of Roseanne."

She curtsied then. In full armor, so it looked more like a fancy bow, but the effort was appreciated. In fact, now that I got a good look at her, she looked  _exhausted_.

There was a strange sound between a gurgle and a yip behind her, and I saw the massive reptile Minerva in the flesh, slitted eyes staring at us wearily.

"Ah, but how could I forget?" Cherche continued. "The cute darling behind me is Minerva, the best companion a girl could ask for."

"…Indeed." Robin said slowly. I looked to him, seeing the most confused expression on his face I think I'd ever seen. "Well, you already know me as Robin. The man to my right is my Knight."

"Alexander Jameson Wright." I intoned, nodding my head slightly. "Nice to meet you too."

"I am glad to see that you both have found each other again, it would seem." Robin said, putting his hands behind his back. "However, and please tell me if another time would be better, but I have a few questions regarding the Valmese, as well as the ships that followed yours."

Virion's expression grew sour as he looked from Cherche to Robin. "…I do not think that would be wise, Robin. My Cherche has been through a great deal already-"

"Please, Virion." Cherche interrupted him. "I am not so weak that I cannot answer a few questions." She fixed Robin with a stare. "Ask what you will."

Robin nodded gratefully. "Thank you. It will not take long, I assure you." He coughed into a gloved fist before continuing. "You know more about this invasion fleet than anyone else. Tell me, how many ships are there in waiting? How many are yet to come?"

"Dozens." Cherche said, her tone low. "Dozens in the vanguard and well over a hundred in their main force." Cherche's gaze did not break. "Naval combat is not their specialty, however. A large force of experienced sailors could break through their fleet with ease. If those are in short supply, then it is a numbers game."

Robin frowned. "…We do not have many ships."

A sad truth, really. We could certainly buy off a few ship captains in Warreth and Tathis, but that wouldn't nearly be enough, I would think, especially considering the fact that Ylisse had a serious lack of experienced sailors. Isolationist policies will do that to a nation. We had the men, but we didn't have the means.

With the lack of shipyards, building them during the two years we were given wasn't really probable, especially when you're paying for and training an army.

_Looks like a trip to Plegia is in our future._

"Then I should hope you are prepared." Cherche replied, sitting down next to Minerva. "The Valmese will not wait. Is there… anything else you wish to ask?"

"…Only one," Robin murmured. "This… Walhart, I've heard him called. The Conqueror. Who is he?"

"He is a monster." Cherche said simply, as Minerva growled. "Plain and simple. He takes and conquers what he wishes. He absorbs those who submit, and burns those who retaliate. He is neither worthy of pity nor mercy. If, and when, the time comes, I suggest we remove his head from his shoulders and feed it to Minerva. Oh, but that won't do. It might make her sick. Best to toss it into the ocean."

The sheer tranquil fury etched into those words nearly made me take a step back. I heard Robin's coat ruffle slightly as he shivered.

_Let's not get on this woman's bad side._

"That is enough." Virion stated adamantly. "I trust this questioning is over, Robin?"

"…Of course." Robin replied slowly, bowing. "I apologize. You have been incredibly helpful."

"Anything to tear the Conqueror from his throne." Cherche said, looking off to the side as she kept a hand on Minerva's head.

"Er, quite." I could almost hear Robin gulp. "I shall leave you both alone. Thank you once again."

Robin turned and walked past me.

I watched as he walked before turning around and nodding. "Miss Cherche. Duke Virion." I said succinctly, before following Robin out the door. The Griffons watched us as we left.

"…Well, that got unnecessarily tense." I summed up, crossing my arms as Robin leaned against the stone wall in front of me. We hadn't gone far from the doors to the aerie; we were just in front of them, in fact.

"Had we a medal in Ylisse for the most obvious thing to say…" Robin growled. "Hundreds of ships, Alex. Dozens in this vanguard alone. They conquered an entire harbor in naught but a few days. We have trained this army since the end of the last war, and yet it still feels as if it isn't enough! If only Emmeryn hadn't close the shipyards…! If only the captains that could commandeer said ships were around… And what with Grima's return on the horizon as well… Gods!"

"Woah, hey, hey!" I said suddenly, stepping forward. I put a hand on Robin's shoulder and gently shook it, bringing him back to reality. "Look at me, Robin. Everything is going to be fine! We've gotten this far! It's no use to just give up before shit's even started!"

"That is easy for you to say…" Robin muttered.

"Maybe because it's true."

"I would not be so sure." Robin shook his head. "But… You are right that it isn't good for me to so easily break down at the first sign of a bump. Forgive my outburst."

"Nothing to forgive, man." I replied, shrugging. "Just, uh, keep yourself together. We need you."

"Hah. So you do." Robin breathed out. He took a deep breath, pulling his coat closer to himself. "I suppose we had better return to the war council-"

The doors burst open from the other side then, almost crushing both of us. I heard the light clanking of armor as female voices talked amongst themselves. Once I moved past the door, I recognized the distinctive armor of Pegasus Knights. They marched down the hall after they briefly apologized, two bodies held between them all.

I watched them as they went, turning to look at into the aerie again.

"Matilda, inform Commander Phila that we've arrived." A familiar, lovely voice ordered. "Tell them of what we've found. In the meantime, I'll-!"

"C-Cordy!?" I nearly squeaked.

I could see her, standing in the middle of a group of Pegasus Knights. Hadn't seen her in weeks, so, well, I liked to think my reaction was understandable. It wasn't everyday that you're called to war the day after you propose to someone after all.

Cordelia wore different armor than I remembered. This one was streaked with gold at the edges, with a grey under armor beneath the steel plates. A winged helmet sat atop her head, which she took off once she saw me.

"…Oh  _Gods_ ," I heard Robin groan, faintly. "Are you two about to-?"

She reached me before I could her. She giggled as she wrapped her arms around my neck, and I returned the favor.

"Gods,  _Alex_!" She laughed openly. "Had I known you would be here to greet me, I wouldn't have tried to move everything along so quickly!"

"Well, guess I thought I'd surprise you, heh." I chuckled, looking into her red eyes, a goofy grin on my face. "I knew you'd get here eventually. Still, I missed you."

"Oh, really?" She smirked, bringing a gauntleted hand up to cup my cheek. "Just how much have you missed me, I wonder?'

I leaned my head down and pressed my lips against hers. She squeaked slightly before responding in kind.

_It's almost like the world doesn't exist outside of you two._

" _Ahem_." Robin coughed awkwardly. "I hope you two realize where you are. And who you are giving a show to."

I blinked, looking to my left and my right, seeing Robin looking unamused at us on one side and a small group of Pegasus Knights blushing and giggling amongst themselves like school girls. Cordelia must've realized it too, because we both jumped away from each other like the other was radioactive.

I coughed into my iron fist. "Er, well, yes. Nice to see you again. Flight-Captain."

"And you, Sir Alexander." Cordelia replied, her face trying its best to maintain its stony expression. "…and you as well, Grandmaster Tactician."

"Likewise." Robin said, walking up to us. "Now that the impromptu  _tryst_ is over with, I find myself curious." Robin looked behind him down the hallway, where a few Pegasus Knights were dragged two bodies just a moment before. "…What was that about?"

"We found two Valmese cavalrymen on patrol. It seems as if they have been sending out scouts to map out the surrounding terrain. We spotted them on our way here and subsequently captured them." Cordelia reported clinically, giving her subordinates the  _eye_. "I was hoping we could learn something of the Valmese incursion were we to bring them here."

"That was very prudent of you. You have my thanks." Robin nodded. "Taken to the dungeons, I assume? Phila will doubtless be there in a few moments. Hmm…" Robin raised a hand to his chin, his red eyes focusing on something that wasn't there.

Cordelia looked at me like I was supposed to know what was going through his head. I merely shrugged.

"…I may have a plan on how to defeat the Valmese at Port Ferox." Robin said after a moment. "But that would require me to see these prisoners. Alex? With me."

"You don't need to keep saying that…" I groaned quietly. "I'd've followed you anyway."

* * *

It didn't take us long to get to the dungeons. Cordelia stayed behind to speak with her subordinates, although she assured us that the ones she sent with the prisoners would inform those still in the war council about what happened. Either way, we descended into the depths of Bellator's fortress, the only sound being the crackling of torches and our footsteps.

"Guess we're just gonna give free reign to you guys, huh?" A deep voice stated, before laughing. "Har! Not that that's an issue. Long as you Ylissean's keep your end of the bargain, you can keep going. Just don't forget 'em down here, alright?"

Robin looked up to see a massive brute of a man talking to the group from earlier, his arms crossed but a jovial smile on his chiseled face. Once he saw Robin, however, he laughed again and pushed past them. "Well, I'll be damned! If it ain't Robin! You old skinny dastard!"

I watched with mirth as who I assumed to be Basilio slapped Robin's back, guffawing all the while. Robin sputtered, stumbling slightly before standing straight again.

"K-Khan Basilio." Robin greeted, catching his breath. "It's a pleasure to see you again too. I was wondering why you weren't at the war council…"

"Ah, it's all hogwash; I don't have any power, what would be the point of me being there?" Basilio shrugged. "'Sides, never been comfortable during those damned things. Fighting's one thing. But a war with a giant empire? That right there's another thing entirely. But anyways, who's that next to you?"

"Hmm? Oh, this is Alex, my sworn Knight." Robin replied nonchalantly.

I titled my head. "Nice to meet you, Khan Basilio."

Basilio stared at me then, unblinking. One eye against two. I felt like I was being analyzed, scrutinized. Like he was trying to discern whether I was an Ylissean noble pansy or a warrior made of sterner stuff.

My gaze didn't falter for a second.

Basilio smirked. "Heh, likewise, kid. If you're the one guarding this albino dastard here, I'm sure you can hold your own. Anways." Basilio looked to the two cells in the wall. "Guess I'll leave this sorry lot to their fates. Ain't like they're going anywhere. Gotta go rally the men to march anyway. Make sure you don't break them or anything, yeah? May have something useful to say.

Robin nodded. "Would never dream of it."

"Ha!" Basilio barked one last laugh. "If the new Ylissean army is anything like the Shepherds, we might not have anything to worry about! Have fun."

And with that, he was gone. The group of Pegasus Knights bowed to us, and scarpered off.

I stepped forward and peered into the side-by-side cells, seeing the unconscious forms of the two Valmese cavalrymen. Well, one was clearly a cavalry _woman_ , but semantics. One was much larger than the other, actually, which was strange.

_Nice to know Walhart's Empire is all-inclusive, at least._

"Alright," I rasped. "Here they are. Don't think we'll be able to get anything out of them for a good long while, though; they're out cold."

"Whatever information they could have provided pales compared to what we know." Robin stated, looking at the two prisoners with half-lidded eyes. "I wanted to gauge their sizes. I'll need their armor for the plan, after all."

I stopped and turned around, staring at the robed tactician. "…What?"

Robin waved his hand. "You will know in a few moments, Alex. The others will probably be here in just a few moments. We can discuss it then."

* * *

"Uh, dad."

"Yes, Sev?" I asked, strapping Pippin's armor on and hoisting our 'cargo' right next to the saddle on his back. "C'mon, don't leave me hanging. You're scaring Pippin with that grumpy face."

"He's a horse! How the hell am  _I_ scaring him!? Granted, I'm amazing in combat- You know what, nevermind." Severa threw her arms in the air. "Just… what's going on? Why're we both riding out on our own?"

A muffled grumble from the 'cargo' next to my saddle was her answer.

"…And why is  _Gaius bound and gagged on your horse-!?_ "

I shushed her. "All in due time, young one." I sighed to myself, messaging my temples.

_Robin, this is crazy. You're crazy. I'm crazy. WE'RE ALL CRAZY-!_

"All in due time." I repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap. Hope you guys enjoyed the Chapter! Not a lot to say this time, so I'll just end the AN here.
> 
> Here's a link to our Discord: discord .gg/9XG3U7a
> 
> Hope to see you next time!


End file.
